No matter how shity or bad it is, if it's fake or reflects the reality, as long as it's action and bloodshed americans will love it and will sell it because after all the only thing they care about it's the money. Some of them are captivated by Ocupy Wallstreet but most of them are still believing in Santa Claus and America being the greatest nation.
Another great review. Michelle Rodriguez, my OTHER major crush (next to Milla Jovovich), yes major hotness and action par excellence. Danny Trejo was great in the role, I probably disagree with you about this a little bit, though I do think you are right about him lacking dynamism in the role. I still thought he was freakin' awesome - and he LOOKS the part! Again, while I generally agree with you about Jessica Alba, I thought her rallying on the roof scene was believable (once she got going)
THANK YOU! Yes, anyone who says something is better than sex is insane, abstinent or has never had good sex! ..Oh, and well done on another solid review by the way.
Rodriguez wanted to have it both ways with this movie. It takes a hardlined (and laughably ill informed) stance on a serious political issue, but you're not supposed to react or criticize this because there's blood and tits. What a lame ass copout. White people who support immagration reform are portrayed as gun toting, bloodthirsty rednecks, and If that's what you think then be a man and just come out and say it. Don't hide behind "I'm just kidding around with my goofy movie." Fucking pussy.
The"it's supposed to be ridiculous so if you take it seriously,you're missing the point"argument is lame and tired.Rodriguez seems to be the first director to intentionally attempt a"so bad it's good"movie.For me it was more like so bad it's fucking painful".The jokes were lame and predictable.The dialogue was so hackneyed that half of the verbal exchanges between the characters sound like prepared speeches rather than actual conversations.Machete isn't "over the top." It's a piece of shit.
I HATED this movie -- and I had seriously expected it to be amazing. It was immature and stupid beyond almost anything I've ever seen, and when Lindsay Lohan came out in a goddamn nun's suit (or whatever it's called), I wanted to just run out of the theater in shame for ever having watched it.
Come on, Danny Trejo's look is the *only* possible Machete! No pretty-boy heart throb will do - only a crazy looking Mexican motherfucker that makes any USian instinctively reach for the gunrack. :D
@Maaadacu I tried to watch "Inception" on that site. Only the first half of the movie (70 min of 140min) seems to be available. Only 95 min of the 105 min "Machete" seems to be available. Is this site a ripoff site that is not worth anyone's time to consider unless they want to be left hanging with partial rather than whole movies?
Criss, yo noto q tienes acento como tipo Mexicano. Vi el programa de blogtv y te vi cuando andromedaswake te hizo una entrevista y dijiste q hablabas español pero como es q hablas como mexicano? Cuando dijiste pendejo cabrones me hiciste sonreir mucho!
Cuidate y te mando saludos de Mexico. Soy Canadiense pero vivo aqui.
She really likes these two?! Two of the worst, over rated, incompetent directors alive today. They make movies this way because they think they are cool, (the trashy, poorly acted, shitty, cheap 70's action films that is). It's not homage, it's crap. A celebration of crap. I can barely sit through, let alone watch in full, their movies. Now I'm convinced she's an idiot. Fuck, I can't believe I ever thought she had something to say.
Michelle is Dominican (as in: from the Dominican Republic), those chics are hot on action movies! Zoe Saldaña is also Dominican. What do you think about her? Avatarish hot! Dominican actresses are bad ass from the get go. I love being Dominican... can you tell?
I'm from USA, and I fucking LOVED this movie. I loved Michelle, Trejo, your review of this movie, and I am in love with how you pronounce the Spanish names. :)
I adored Machete. It was that kind of kick-ass film where you want to chow down with your buds and snicker at the tongue-in-cheek refferences to the immigration issue.
Machete was made to be entertaining, not believable. If you want to see something believable turn on the news. The illegal immigrant issue is completely interchangable with any other issue seeing as it is more about a politician manipulating the public in order to get voted into office. Also, the villains in the movie are overly exagerrated so that there is clear separation between the who people want to see killed and who they want to live without needing a lot of dialog and less action.
I thought it was irresponsible of Rodriguez to put out any trailer, fake or not, that was clearly meant to foment the idea of a race war right in the midst of a real life political upheaval about illegal immigration issues.
I was just wondering, when you see these films for the first time, do you see them with the dialog dubbed into romanian, or in their original language?
I was reading the comments and was annoyed by the narrow-mindedness until I realized that most of the people watching this probably aren't your subs. :(
Ahhh you pee in the shower your supposed to get clean in there, if you soil your self in there whats the point of ever washing up again. overall rating
Your sexy voice and altogether beautifulness wont save you on that performance i give peeing in the shower a 0.0/10, 10 being maximum points epic and 0 being nasty not cool.
tell me one bad movie made by Quentin Tarantino. Even if most of them are in the same category: blood, unrealistic and just plain crazy, he can make every movie look "revolutionary".
@bv90andy Inglorious bastards. I know most people love it, but I find it to be the worst movie I have seen in my life. And I've seen Starship Troopers 2, so, I'm used to bad movies.
From Tarantino, I really liked only Kill Bill (1&2) and Pulp Fiction... The rest... not so much.
And his dangerously simplistic nazi slaughtering? Like I said, it would be #1 on my list of movies that should never have been made, ever.
@narsil1984 well I guess that you have every right to your opinion, I for one think that if you can make the viewer scared only by showing him a dialog (the one with the German SS at the beginning) then it's a good movie. I would put inglorious bastards as one of his best movies, if not The best.
What I hated about it...well, I guess I couldnt find a point. It seemed to be all about seeing evil nazis die.
But how is having 2 guys with machine guns killing every living person in a cinema a good thing? Are they all "evil nazis"? And what about that normal guy and his men, who happened to be soldiers, that Pitt's group killed with a baseball bat... Not evil...
So in short, I hated that the "heroes" comitted acts rivalling the evil the nazis comitted.
I don't think the movie is meant to show some "good guys" killing off some "bad guys". I think it's meant to show something more egotistical than that: revenge.
Yes you're right that it's about them killing of some nazis which is the main point in the movie. But why even hating it so much if it's not shown in any cliche way possible. I mean the main purpose of the "protagonists" in this movie is revenge but even they died near the end of this movie..
In terms of conscience/sub-conscience implemented programming by Holy-Wood I find this movie offensive. Last 15 years Mexican Americans been dealing with anti-undocumented workers hysteria, AKA: Illegal Immigrants. U.S. drug enforcement shutting down narcotic flow through the Gulf of Mexico, effectively forcing backflow thru Mexico into the US.
Mexican govt poncies fanning the drug war by siding with 1 cartel over another.
End result? Holy-Wood portraying Mexicans as savages. FU Holy-Wood!
loved the film and i loved the directors. My favorite part was when machete takes the guys intestines and uses them as a rope! So ridiculous but soooooooooo fucking badass
"and then you have this nasty mother fucker, who's uglier than all hell and getting all that ass" hahahhaha, well said .. i can't stand alba she bores that shit out of me
I LOVED the movie. It was probably the best movie I've seen in a long time. It was just so fun and ridiculous, I don't see how anyone could not enjoy themselves.
I LOVE INSANITY!!! YES!!! GIVE ME A room with a fucking horse nailed the ceiling, covered with shit, piss, cum, blood, sweat, spit!!! With rotting pieces of old meat on the floor and a spinning chair.... I could go on, but that would just get a bit more disturbing than Alice in wonderland.
Rrrrrrobert Rrrrrriguez. That's adorable, haha. I feel like the movie would've been SO much better had they not casted Danny Trejo. I'd even prefer Vin Diesel with a tan and some makeup or something. I just wasn't feeling this cast. As you said Michelle and De Niro were perfect, but this is the kind of role Michelle is always casted as and like you said... It's fucking De Niro lol. Good movie but, I'd probably give it like a 6.5 (as if my opinion matters lol).
Now I can't stop picturing Criss making out with Michelle Rodriguez in the shower and then they both have a pissing contest as the credits roll with some California surfer instrumental jam song plays.
@Winky395 ...If I can get in touch with Michelle Rodriguez's agent and if Criss agrees, I will make it a reality. It really is very cool to take a fictional trailer and make the actual movie of it, even getting some of the same actors. I should see Machete, but I strongly dislike movie violence now. I rarely will watch that type of film now. Dramas are still my favorite. But I saw a romantic drama/comedy recently that I really enjoyed, so I guess it comes with getting old, tatstes change.
''.....blow your head off and use your skull for an ash tray''...That's a pretty badass, crazy thing to say in a movie review and fits so perefectly as a review of a Tarantino film.
@NYatheist ..It wasn't a Tarantino film, I mistakenly thought you said it is. I never became a fan of Robert Rodriguez. I couldn't see the merit in El Mariachi, despite how he accomplished it on an ultra low budget. I bought his book and admired his commitment to making films by raising funds by participating in medical trials as a paid subject. He inspires me that way when I dream of making a film with almost no money, but I never dug his style in particular. The violence in Sin City is sick.
I love that Machete was a campy film with balls and a message, some people said it was too preachy...I say too fucking bad do you really know the fucking American history. lol
On the subject of Javier Bardem playing Machete, I think that choice would have been unsettling for Mexican Americans to see a Spaniard play a role that tackles the huge issues that pertain Latino Americans...he's an outsider.
No matter how shity or bad it is, if it's fake or reflects the reality, as long as it's action and bloodshed americans will love it and will sell it because after all the only thing they care about it's the money. Some of them are captivated by Ocupy Wallstreet but most of them are still believing in Santa Claus and America being the greatest nation.
thelegionary1000 3 months ago 5
whait! you are lesbian?
my hopes and expectations have been shattered :(
..then again... :D
viicISrotcib 11 months ago
@viicISrotcib .. she just said she would do M Rodriguez... and who would'nt??
fndalves 1 month ago in playlist Uploaded videos
@fndalves I think just about anybody with any taste would... whether straight, gay, lesbian... lol
Ariana321 1 month ago in playlist Uploaded videos
Gotta be insane to say you woudn't.
gilless429 11 months ago
i would too...
you're a crazy b*tch, in a good way ;)
nice description you made there, convinced me to go see the movie :D
mamiferuD 11 months ago
Every bitch has done it in the shower, you're no exception
TheEd0206 11 months ago
Another great review. Michelle Rodriguez, my OTHER major crush (next to Milla Jovovich), yes major hotness and action par excellence. Danny Trejo was great in the role, I probably disagree with you about this a little bit, though I do think you are right about him lacking dynamism in the role. I still thought he was freakin' awesome - and he LOOKS the part! Again, while I generally agree with you about Jessica Alba, I thought her rallying on the roof scene was believable (once she got going)
pitdroidtech 1 year ago
i love the scene were he cut someone open and jumped out of the window with his bowels
WeirdDeviant 1 year ago
THANK YOU! Yes, anyone who says something is better than sex is insane, abstinent or has never had good sex! ..Oh, and well done on another solid review by the way.
SillyPom 1 year ago
Cristina i regularly pee during taking shower!!! I hate piss but never felt ughh while doing it while taking shower.
uttaranmaiti 1 year ago
"Mexican pendejo cabrones" ? hahaha! love it
maddhattertime 1 year ago
0:03 I love how you roll your "R"s
:)
ESAMMEX 1 year ago
Ok, let's get something straight here, EVERYBODY pees in the shower. Whether it's a tinkle/"Oops" or a full on golden shower.
InvisibleDiary 1 year ago
Comment removed
InvisibleDiary 1 year ago
2:05 That;s not irony, it's type casting.
SkyDoginthetube 1 year ago
I hate machete. It's anti-American and full of disturbing images. it promotes La Raza and Aztlan and all these dangerous mexican groups.
Tootoon2009 1 year ago
@Tootoon2009 You pussy!!! lmao! Yogi Bear is coming out for you
Envoid344 1 year ago
Rodriguez wanted to have it both ways with this movie. It takes a hardlined (and laughably ill informed) stance on a serious political issue, but you're not supposed to react or criticize this because there's blood and tits. What a lame ass copout. White people who support immagration reform are portrayed as gun toting, bloodthirsty rednecks, and If that's what you think then be a man and just come out and say it. Don't hide behind "I'm just kidding around with my goofy movie." Fucking pussy.
borstalboy1981 1 year ago
The"it's supposed to be ridiculous so if you take it seriously,you're missing the point"argument is lame and tired.Rodriguez seems to be the first director to intentionally attempt a"so bad it's good"movie.For me it was more like so bad it's fucking painful".The jokes were lame and predictable.The dialogue was so hackneyed that half of the verbal exchanges between the characters sound like prepared speeches rather than actual conversations.Machete isn't "over the top." It's a piece of shit.
borstalboy1981 1 year ago
LOL god i love you seriously sometimes i think i cant love her more nope im wrong.
JAVIER BARDEM!!!! omg i love him and your totally right i think that wouldve been awesome for him to have made that movie x3
sakura2390 1 year ago
Your review matches my feelings on this movie. I went in expecting over-the-top, and I got it. Hence, I liked it. :)
firefly4f4 1 year ago
I HATED this movie -- and I had seriously expected it to be amazing. It was immature and stupid beyond almost anything I've ever seen, and when Lindsay Lohan came out in a goddamn nun's suit (or whatever it's called), I wanted to just run out of the theater in shame for ever having watched it.
TheLogicJunkie 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
If you think Robert De Niro is flawless as an actor, Criss, don't waste your time watching Stardust. It will ruin you. It ruined me.
AnubisMob 1 year ago
Comment removed
AnubisMob 1 year ago
Another gr8 review.. Thank you for your entertaining view and insight into this film.
tomhilfiger88 1 year ago
Machete was awesome, bring on "Hobo with a Shotgun"!
718alterego 1 year ago
that bitch was born to do action movies... I agree.
dani trejo did fine... his lack of acting chops just adds to the satire.
TheKenghisGhan 1 year ago
It's great to see other people in principal roles,like Danny Trejo, than the Pitt and Bardem types of this world.
jfAntoine84 1 year ago
LMFAO!!! You peeing in the shower... Now there's an image!!!
☺
UBeeware 1 year ago
this is the first time I see you smile!!! : )
Amadi1 1 year ago
Pathetic review
penito1 1 year ago
Bad ass review criss ;)
I'm looking forward to checking it out
ghostofgar 1 year ago
Come on, Danny Trejo's look is the *only* possible Machete! No pretty-boy heart throb will do - only a crazy looking Mexican motherfucker that makes any USian instinctively reach for the gunrack. :D
TheAzov 1 year ago
@Maaadacu I tried to watch "Inception" on that site. Only the first half of the movie (70 min of 140min) seems to be available. Only 95 min of the 105 min "Machete" seems to be available. Is this site a ripoff site that is not worth anyone's time to consider unless they want to be left hanging with partial rather than whole movies?
bizzee1 1 year ago
Criss, yo noto q tienes acento como tipo Mexicano. Vi el programa de blogtv y te vi cuando andromedaswake te hizo una entrevista y dijiste q hablabas español pero como es q hablas como mexicano? Cuando dijiste pendejo cabrones me hiciste sonreir mucho!
Cuidate y te mando saludos de Mexico. Soy Canadiense pero vivo aqui.
-Papa
papasitoman 1 year ago
That is talent, pure talent, what you are doing dair.
BlowDevilUp 1 year ago
Check out the Men's Health interview with Robert Rodriguez. His genius shines.
jsmith2113abc 1 year ago
Check out the Men's Health Interview with Robert Rodriguez
jsmith2113abc 1 year ago
She really likes these two?! Two of the worst, over rated, incompetent directors alive today. They make movies this way because they think they are cool, (the trashy, poorly acted, shitty, cheap 70's action films that is). It's not homage, it's crap. A celebration of crap. I can barely sit through, let alone watch in full, their movies. Now I'm convinced she's an idiot. Fuck, I can't believe I ever thought she had something to say.
memonk11 1 year ago
Michelle rodriguez and Jessica Alba in one flick? I am so there
Crosisborg 1 year ago
Michelle is Dominican (as in: from the Dominican Republic), those chics are hot on action movies! Zoe Saldaña is also Dominican. What do you think about her? Avatarish hot! Dominican actresses are bad ass from the get go. I love being Dominican... can you tell?
jolulipa 1 year ago
@jolulipa Actually, Michelle Rodriguez was born in Texas, and moved to Puerto Rico and Dominican Republic.
chibimizzy 1 year ago
You can come over and pee in my shower anytime you want. :)
DEricKesler 1 year ago
You should know that it's not a shotgun.
Nigrescence 1 year ago
I'm from USA, and I fucking LOVED this movie. I loved Michelle, Trejo, your review of this movie, and I am in love with how you pronounce the Spanish names. :)
squirreljester2 1 year ago
Good review, though I didnt really like the cringing American comment, we are not all the same and your too smart to stereotype.
casprunger 1 year ago
All I need to know if Segal dies. If he does, then it's worth it for me.
Nostang3 1 year ago
Abs!
Other then that, I should watch that movie sometime.
voyagervsbor 1 year ago
she be liking hispanic ass
MikaelDryden 1 year ago
People either love him or hate him...or think that he's ok.
Greywolf831 1 year ago
I think he and Aron Ra are twins.
toddlusk 1 year ago
I adored Machete. It was that kind of kick-ass film where you want to chow down with your buds and snicker at the tongue-in-cheek refferences to the immigration issue.
th3w01fv2 1 year ago
This movie was fucking amazing in my eyes. I went in expecting over-the-top action and tits, I got that and a whole lot more.
UnforgivingCookie 1 year ago
the way you describe the movie makes me sort of think of Hot Fuzz
they did something similar with the cop/secret agent/action genre
qdragon1337 1 year ago
I don't, but sure you do. Fonzed anyways.
even though I almost never watch films,
or tv, and have no idea what you,
or this film means. Keep Rocking! ;)
Airave 1 year ago
I do.
216trixie 1 year ago
ok, have to watch this one now, lol. great review, I cannot wait to see the flick!
skywize 1 year ago
Machete was made to be entertaining, not believable. If you want to see something believable turn on the news. The illegal immigrant issue is completely interchangable with any other issue seeing as it is more about a politician manipulating the public in order to get voted into office. Also, the villains in the movie are overly exagerrated so that there is clear separation between the who people want to see killed and who they want to live without needing a lot of dialog and less action.
cronic46 1 year ago
I thought it was irresponsible of Rodriguez to put out any trailer, fake or not, that was clearly meant to foment the idea of a race war right in the midst of a real life political upheaval about illegal immigration issues.
citizen762 1 year ago
@citizen762 Yes, obviously Rodriguez want to foment a race war.
216trixie 1 year ago
I love ya, but never again use "very unique" as a description... ever.
DoktorMadrak 1 year ago
We want proof that you shower!
dorinvladstefan 1 year ago 23
I was just wondering, when you see these films for the first time, do you see them with the dialog dubbed into romanian, or in their original language?
pyrite13 1 year ago
I was reading the comments and was annoyed by the narrow-mindedness until I realized that most of the people watching this probably aren't your subs. :(
ArrecBarrwin 1 year ago
death proof one of the best movie of the year?
yu are out of yur mind on this one ladie
grussom 1 year ago
Ahhh you pee in the shower your supposed to get clean in there, if you soil your self in there whats the point of ever washing up again. overall rating
Your sexy voice and altogether beautifulness wont save you on that performance i give peeing in the shower a 0.0/10, 10 being maximum points epic and 0 being nasty not cool.
ThePowersinYourHands 1 year ago
Planet Terror kicked the shit out of Death Proof
blackblues1984 1 year ago
Why do people get grossed out about pissing in the shower anyway?
SkepticalBastard 1 year ago
How dare you call Danny Trejo ugly. Danny Trejo is a sexy motherfucker.
hamberglar 1 year ago
@hamberglar BRB putting face in blender.
K back, am i sexy now?
3IackCat 1 year ago
@3IackCat Yes. Kiss me you beast.
hamberglar 1 year ago
tell me one bad movie made by Quentin Tarantino. Even if most of them are in the same category: blood, unrealistic and just plain crazy, he can make every movie look "revolutionary".
bv90andy 1 year ago
@bv90andy Inglorious bastards. I know most people love it, but I find it to be the worst movie I have seen in my life. And I've seen Starship Troopers 2, so, I'm used to bad movies.
From Tarantino, I really liked only Kill Bill (1&2) and Pulp Fiction... The rest... not so much.
And his dangerously simplistic nazi slaughtering? Like I said, it would be #1 on my list of movies that should never have been made, ever.
narsil1984 1 year ago
@narsil1984 well I guess that you have every right to your opinion, I for one think that if you can make the viewer scared only by showing him a dialog (the one with the German SS at the beginning) then it's a good movie. I would put inglorious bastards as one of his best movies, if not The best.
bv90andy 1 year ago
@bv90andy
What I hated about it...well, I guess I couldnt find a point. It seemed to be all about seeing evil nazis die.
But how is having 2 guys with machine guns killing every living person in a cinema a good thing? Are they all "evil nazis"? And what about that normal guy and his men, who happened to be soldiers, that Pitt's group killed with a baseball bat... Not evil...
So in short, I hated that the "heroes" comitted acts rivalling the evil the nazis comitted.
narsil1984 1 year ago
@narsil1984 I'll reply after I rewatch the movie some time next week ;)
bv90andy 1 year ago
@narsil1984
I don't think the movie is meant to show some "good guys" killing off some "bad guys". I think it's meant to show something more egotistical than that: revenge.
Yes you're right that it's about them killing of some nazis which is the main point in the movie. But why even hating it so much if it's not shown in any cliche way possible. I mean the main purpose of the "protagonists" in this movie is revenge but even they died near the end of this movie..
chaos5copiesmartguy 1 year ago
lol awa but I love the girl with a gun leg. XD
MistressArte 1 year ago
machete rules!
smashbeans 1 year ago
Sounds awesome!
dechha1981 1 year ago
In terms of conscience/sub-conscience implemented programming by Holy-Wood I find this movie offensive. Last 15 years Mexican Americans been dealing with anti-undocumented workers hysteria, AKA: Illegal Immigrants. U.S. drug enforcement shutting down narcotic flow through the Gulf of Mexico, effectively forcing backflow thru Mexico into the US.
Mexican govt poncies fanning the drug war by siding with 1 cartel over another.
End result? Holy-Wood portraying Mexicans as savages. FU Holy-Wood!
yo1dude1man 1 year ago
HA!!! Best thumbs up video text bubble evar!
mattwillis4 1 year ago
"Michelle Rodriguez looking hotter than she ever did in her life. Oh yeah! I so would!"
BI THE WAY...
GrimReaper19 1 year ago 7
loved the film and i loved the directors. My favorite part was when machete takes the guys intestines and uses them as a rope! So ridiculous but soooooooooo fucking badass
kabukiforever 1 year ago
When I saw the fake trailer for machete I see wanted to see it !!!!
spaceman300 1 year ago 2
LOL! I just seen Planet Terror tonight!!
Justinfhtube 1 year ago
Why not? Is your Shower after all O.o
DraskyVanderhoff 1 year ago
Hail To the Great Trejo!!!
DraskyVanderhoff 1 year ago
Thumbs down for not doing "that" in the shower.
Newradical78 1 year ago
"and then you have this nasty mother fucker, who's uglier than all hell and getting all that ass" hahahhaha, well said .. i can't stand alba she bores that shit out of me
Bjouesbijou 1 year ago
more cleavage would work better
Bradman8888 1 year ago
I just saw th'movie and it's really fuckin' funny if you are into that kind of humor.Really liked it.
And I don't think you have t'decide between love'em or hate'em with Tarantino and Rodriguez..I love some of their movies and definitely hate others..
They just fucked with the wrong mexican!!
TylerMcManus1 1 year ago
Javier Bardem was too busy marrying Penelope. The girls want someone who is not yet domesticated ;-)
skinnyjohnsen 1 year ago
@skinnyjohnsen Oh, by the way; Have you seen the first movie Javier and Penelope did together; "Jamon Jamon" ?
Hillariously funny movie from next to 20 years ago ;-)
skinnyjohnsen 1 year ago
this movie is ma-shitty
tamemister 1 year ago
the movie is kind of a self parody you know.
btw check out Black Dynamite that shit was the bomb diggity.
Robstailey 1 year ago
SUCKED! machete is RACist!!!!!!
Got2takeAshit 1 year ago
@Got2takeAshit Its intentionally over the top and racist. You may have just not got it.
WoWBronxe 1 year ago
Peeing in the shower IS pretty gross.
ultimatejesus 1 year ago
@ultimatejesus
just dont tell anyone about it ;)
Adastra14 1 year ago
I LOVED the movie. It was probably the best movie I've seen in a long time. It was just so fun and ridiculous, I don't see how anyone could not enjoy themselves.
KatDJZ 1 year ago
Does anyone else find it kind of exciting whenever Criss says "tits?"
lazyperfectionist1 1 year ago 30
i love to see you smiling, more reviews
mx22a 1 year ago 2
I wish I had a cool accent.
darkwhitedirewolf 1 year ago
Rrrrrrobert rrrrrodriguez, very well done <3
TheIncredibleBlog 1 year ago
What's up Criss? :-)
skyyjohn 1 year ago
I hope you do do that!
MassZombicide 1 year ago
I LOVE INSANITY!!! YES!!! GIVE ME A room with a fucking horse nailed the ceiling, covered with shit, piss, cum, blood, sweat, spit!!! With rotting pieces of old meat on the floor and a spinning chair.... I could go on, but that would just get a bit more disturbing than Alice in wonderland.
WelcomeOniveraProd 1 year ago
I wasn't too excited about this movie, but now that you've inspired me to imagine Javier Bardem in all of Danny Trejo's scenes... wowza, count me in.
Roxxi33 1 year ago
That wasn't a shotgun.
FATMIKED5183 1 year ago
Plan to see it tomorrow, now you got me all excited about it. Looks awesome.
I was hoping they would make "Thanksgiving" into a movie.
718alterego 1 year ago
i forgot everything that happened before or after when the twins appeared.
thookerov 1 year ago
From the "Evil Dead" school of action...
ctso74 1 year ago
This movie blows away The Expanadables. It's fucking epic.
1bloodlover 1 year ago
I heart you Criss.
Moar videos on religious (nonreligious?) matters please.
dishonesttAbe 1 year ago
Rrrrrrobert Rrrrrriguez. That's adorable, haha. I feel like the movie would've been SO much better had they not casted Danny Trejo. I'd even prefer Vin Diesel with a tan and some makeup or something. I just wasn't feeling this cast. As you said Michelle and De Niro were perfect, but this is the kind of role Michelle is always casted as and like you said... It's fucking De Niro lol. Good movie but, I'd probably give it like a 6.5 (as if my opinion matters lol).
JackHDiamond 1 year ago
Now I can't stop picturing Criss making out with Michelle Rodriguez in the shower and then they both have a pissing contest as the credits roll with some California surfer instrumental jam song plays.
NYatheist 1 year ago 4
@NYatheist Wait dude I saw that trailer during Machete!
Winky395 1 year ago
@Winky395 ...If I can get in touch with Michelle Rodriguez's agent and if Criss agrees, I will make it a reality. It really is very cool to take a fictional trailer and make the actual movie of it, even getting some of the same actors. I should see Machete, but I strongly dislike movie violence now. I rarely will watch that type of film now. Dramas are still my favorite. But I saw a romantic drama/comedy recently that I really enjoyed, so I guess it comes with getting old, tatstes change.
NYatheist 1 year ago
lol. I love Criss.
Imperiused 1 year ago
I haven't disagreed with any of your reviews yet so I guess I'll have to watch it now.
YesIamJames 1 year ago
Great review, as always.
Steve7508 1 year ago
Danny Trejo was perfect in my humble opinion.
imarealgamer 1 year ago
Love your spanish pronunciation :-D
Puyols37 1 year ago
''.....blow your head off and use your skull for an ash tray''...That's a pretty badass, crazy thing to say in a movie review and fits so perefectly as a review of a Tarantino film.
NYatheist 1 year ago
@NYatheist ..It wasn't a Tarantino film, I mistakenly thought you said it is. I never became a fan of Robert Rodriguez. I couldn't see the merit in El Mariachi, despite how he accomplished it on an ultra low budget. I bought his book and admired his commitment to making films by raising funds by participating in medical trials as a paid subject. He inspires me that way when I dream of making a film with almost no money, but I never dug his style in particular. The violence in Sin City is sick.
NYatheist 1 year ago
I have a big thing for Michelle Rogriguez. I have to see it simply because of her alone.
Mysticblue1212 1 year ago
You could play a latina if you wanted to Criss! When you roll your "Rs", I almost pass out!
RadarKat73080 1 year ago
Good review criss
ouchyg 1 year ago
Great take. You are always spot on.
CAlex6977 1 year ago
havier is NOT GRITTY ENOUGH
greatwood 1 year ago
@greatwood for the main character has to be so gritty his eyes are like sandpaper. anything less is not gritty enough!
greatwood 1 year ago
Peeing in the shower is pretty awesome if you have a penis (I can't comment on vaginas), I didn't think Machete was that good.
hhslf 1 year ago
I love that Machete was a campy film with balls and a message, some people said it was too preachy...I say too fucking bad do you really know the fucking American history. lol
On the subject of Javier Bardem playing Machete, I think that choice would have been unsettling for Mexican Americans to see a Spaniard play a role that tackles the huge issues that pertain Latino Americans...he's an outsider.
Deepstarr7020 1 year ago
Also I agree great spanish pronunciations, Are you sure you aint got any latina in you.
gusb232 1 year ago
@gusb232 she is romanian..so yes she does have some latina blood in her
zinsisrocking 1 year ago
thumbs up if you HAVE to pee in the shower cause you're "sprung", then go ahead and jerkoff, aaand then take a shower...... ill go.
MpowerdAPE 1 year ago
Hi, I am 15 and what's sex?
Z0mb1e3lv1s 1 year ago
@Z0mb1e3lv1s ...Is that you ,Shockofgod?
NYatheist 1 year ago
@NYatheist Is that you mom?
Z0mb1e3lv1s 1 year ago
oh no shit! i didnt know thats what this was! i loved deathproof and planet terror soooo much! i reckon ill love this.. cheers for the review criss..
oojamaflipper 1 year ago
you were basically the only hot womam missing in the cast ;o)
wonderpope 1 year ago
Its a B movie and it knows it.
Hey do you think Lindsay Lohan used stunt boobs for her topless scenes?
gusb232 1 year ago
i give it an 8. if you like this movie, then you'll like Black Dynamite.
AXSofHFDS 1 year ago
Love the way you say Rodriguez. You should consider a career in phone sex. ;)
factsequalfuel 1 year ago 3