Daniel Tosh - Coldstone

[cavsmanic97]

These are the same jokes from happy thoughts

[trilobright]

Meh, Dan's actually kind of a dick. He's still funny though.

Also, he's crazily out of touch if he thinks anyone's better off hurting cats than dogs. Especially someone whose job depends on being familiar with the internet.

[tehjefey]

Fuck knuckle XD

[Mpapic]

that woman sounds like someone stabbed her when he said kansas city

[midnightxs9]

"Ow, are those nickels?!" "Yea, it's a down economy and I'm a baller on a budget, bitch."

[beachX3baby2500]

thumbs up if you searched coldstone songs after this

[patrickj25]

my peepee hurts

[elchamber]

I think it's the sober crowd that's kill his material.

[kiril347]

I'm no' 543,000 woohoo..

[hahafunnyhahavidz]

Whys he standing like that?

[Tatteredtits]

@hahafunnyhahavidz he has social anxiety which is wierd because he is a comedian in front of thousands of people but o'well hah

[christy9666]

daniel we'll miss you rip!

[SoISaidFuckIt]

@christy9666 nice try

[MouleMan123]

@christy9666 ? why rip?

[Fullmetal1890P]

XD the comments are hilarious. You people are stupid and he'd most likely tell you so.

[daniyellowjello]

so many groans in the audience

[parthpat3l]

terrible comedian

[doctor4pretend]

He reuses his material so much that I unwillingly memorized every joke.

[duder114]

@doctor4pretend its called a routine

[dudewhereami56]

@doctor4pretend bands play the same songs at concerts........if its good, well its good, just like comedy, funny is funny

[ibaho124]

"I like to make it hail!" "That's when you throw change at sluts!"

[LaffyTaffyomnom]

Why does he keep touching his face? Like he kept his hand on one side of his face for a while

[Drfter247]

Dane Cook > Daniel Tosh

[ugevon1000]

@Drfter247 you motherfucker.

[DeputyPorker]

What the fuck does his grammar have to do with anything moron I thought it was funny incorrect spelling and all why don't you spell check my post now.

[bigrob2106]

@DeputyPorker Your spelling may not need to be checked but your use of, or rather your lack of, punctuation marks does.

[DeputyPorker]

@bigrob2106 haha dammit you caught me

[WREQUIEM]

@kirtdavies y r u talking 2 urself

[lackylag]

@kirtdavies I hope you're trolling and not actually retarded...

[PhillyBengtson]

daniel is the shit....nuff said

[MrOhvshitmoments]

this is the same shit in completely serious man this fool just repeats

[riKringkast]

@MrOhvshitmoments I'm assuming this is the first comedian you've ever seen?

[MrOhvshitmoments]

@riKringkast Im sorry smart ass this isnt

[riKringkast]

@MrOhvshitmoments Every comedian on the planet rehashes old material; it's a common part of the trade. If you don't want "the same shit in completely serious man this fool just repeats" (I didn't know when to stop since you failed to use proper punctuation), then you'll have to search in a different solar system.

Bon voyage?

[slayerx2c25]

daniel is my favotiye comedien

[yogotswagger54321]

Danile is awesome

[roku89107]

He reminds me of Dane Cook. ALOT

[Tehbestshot]

@roku89107 Only difference is Daniel is actually funny.

[rlt34]

@roku89107 i will carve out your eyes and skull fuck each socket twice a day for the rest of eternity

[ArtifisticA]

I just pooped

[Kearnmeister]

am i the only one who cant understand him?

[homemovieman007]

@Kearnmeister yeah

[aftertouchbeatz]

the replay tag at the end of the video is super awkward

[CaliStalone]

I live in Kansas City on the missouri side

[fallen1081]

I live in kansas city and i agree

[Chris]

Lawl @ 1:35.

[dtwhitney]

I was raised in South Dakota AND I went to BYU. Talk about two strikes in his book.

[bobsagetville]

@dtwhitney then u are probably a mormon therefore ur life sucks too much to even consider ur opinions also wtf is in s dakota

[dtwhitney]

@bobsagetville Corn. Lots and lots of corn.  BTW, I didn't give an opinion in the first place, moron.

[slapmybongos003]

He was terrible back then but he's pretty damn hilarious now!

[TheCrazyplaying]

He looks so nervous in this one for some reason, talking quiet n shit. Was this like his first stand up or something

[liltunechi4eva]

@TheCrazyplaying god no he's been doing stand-up since the late 90s

[TheLoos3Goos33]

@TheCrazyplaying Well he wasn't in a big arena it looked like a pretty small comedy club which is probably why he was talking more quiet than usual.

[schmetterlink]

How people can listen to a guy talk about how great he is without a hint of irony and think he's funny, I would love to know

[hajaswenson]

@schmetterlink Come on, he's Daniel Tosh!!!!

[Apothis]

@schmetterlink I take it you're new to the premise of jokes

[99rang3atm]

@schmetterlink STFU YOU CUNT

[Shiois]

hooooly shit i grew up in the Missouri side of Kansas city

[Markthemightyman]

@bigandmeaty4you calm down?

[secretagentYTer]

@bigandmeaty4you you live in Kansas City dont you?

[bwc3821]

Tosh is a bigger douche than Dane Cook.

[Markthemightyman]

@bwc3821 hes hilarious

[kisses0110]

'tip tip hooray!' "with enthusiasm fxcknut; i want my experience!"

[MURPHSLIFE]

It was funny till the red head laughed 

[jackelboy]

"I like it make it hail" almost gave me a heart attack from laughing.

[EliseWilson001]

"stop! Are those quarters?!?" "Ya, I'm a baller on a budget..." LMAO :D

[maltodextrin1000]

you tell me to subscribe, and well, I don't.

[ForgottenHD]

Natus

[SuperQuentin22]

daniels the fukin man

[aresgodofCOD]

46 ppl are ballers on a budget



[yeahyeah1821]

amazing

[xy2z1997]

He uses the same jokes too often.

[yeahyeah1821]

@xy2z1997 i should vote up your fucking stupid comment so he sees it and has the opportunity to trash you with jokes that are not so oftenly used. really? you wanna take on tosh? make a stupid fucking video that is just as retarded as your comment and you'll be getting your web redemption in no time. douche.

[xy2z1997]

@yeahyeah1821 I'm a douche? really? You're a stupid ass little fan boy. Watch all of his specials, and you'll see that -so- many of his jokes are in the same thing. He's not very creative at all. He's like a fucking recycling bin. Now don't reply to people's comments, if you're going to be some stupid little fan boy with his head in his ass as he screams into his intestines " DANIEL TOSH IS DA BEUST EVAAAAAAAAAA!!". Go kill yourself. -.-

[yeahyeah1821]

@xy2z1997 umad?

[xy2z1997]

@yeahyeah1821 You pathetic?

[yeahyeah1821]

@xy2z1997 [ X ] confirmed mad lol

[xy2z1997]

@yeahyeah1821 [ X ] confirmed pathetic ass licking piece of shit.

[TheeGoldenOreo]

@xy2z1997 its called a routine

[xy2z1997]

@TheeGoldenOreo No it's not. Not when you repeat the same thing over and over.

[TheeGoldenOreo]

@xy2z1997 taken from the dictionary... routine: a reiterated speech or formula, youre a dumbass

[xy2z1997]

@TheeGoldenOreo Apparently, but still, he could at least -try- to come up with some new jokes.

[TheeGoldenOreo]

@xy2z1997 umm, have you seen his special? it has about 3 jokes that ive seen in other videos, the rest was fresh material. plus its not easy to come up with new shit for every stand up that you do

[shopaholic60902]

"Yeah, I'm a baller on a budget" hahaha

[hottiegal155]

Ok guys.. I lived in kansas city and its more weed than meth.

[AceofClubs11]

is it a crowd of 5 people?

[Slashdeath97]

@AceofClubs11 Strange because at 0:25 I see at least 10 people from what it seems like just a random eyeball.

[AceofClubs11]

@Slashdeath97 oh youre right...nice burn.bet you feel good now huh

[Slashdeath97]

@AceofClubs11 I was simply answering your question but if that is what you would like to believe.

[dirtyghettokids5]

@komsan6063 its cuz your from kanas city and work in a coldstone =]

[icantstandyou22]

funny shit....funny shit.

[TrevDA9]

awh shit, I'm from kansas city

[Komsan6063]

Not funny

[ejkazmaier]

Ray j is gay

[Joey951100]

lol fucking tosh

[itslilwacky]

sally has webbed feet

[Assassin4073]

he used tht frebrezzing the homeless part in happy thoughts

[jkilson]

Im from KC haha, love this dude

[phreestylesk8r]

ima baller on a budget!

[emilybear1459]

"is that lavender? get over here.." lmfao.

[Pierlott]

i made it hail on one of my friends.... she didnt like that....

[angelblu27834]

Love it that it makes fun of where I live.  Kansas City rest in peace. lol.

[fossilfuelmusic]

oh man didnt see that Chris BEnoit joke coming that was great lol

[packersrule876]

Damn, im from kansas city...

[angelblu27834]

@packersrule876  me too! but its funny.

[sillysmitty07]

<3 tosh!!!!!! hes hott as hell ;)

[L8rBek]

"I like to make it hail! Thats when you throw change at sluts." Hahahaha

[wangsta231]

hahahah he insults them and they laugh

[TGTproductionz]

Hahaha did he say "fuck knuckle"??

[santy7161]

Anyone realize that Daniel has used that "middle of the country is people who gave up on their dreams" joke several times in different context...I like him but damn how many segments am I going to watch with that joke

[ellz483]

he's drinking Metromint in peppermint :) !! daumen hoch fuer negativ neun!

[mattfetzer]

he did the first joke on complety serious

[ChAsEmEnZ]

I make it hail all day llol

[stefmarie18]

Dolla dolla tip!!

[TheLeothelion5]

I went to coldstone, i tipped them and they didnt sing ):

[hilarywren]

@TheLeothelion5 The asses!

[xXmeghanpaigeXx]

I'm a baller on a budget!

[2moongod8]

374,000th viewer, now what do I win dammit?

[lile1212]

I'm afraid the first question is are u a pussy haha

[zkoehnlein]

Kansas City, MO REPRESENT!!!

[Danob545]

FUCKING FAKE LAUGH AT 1:05

[drakian]

@Danob545 If you keep clicking on the time, Daniel looks like he's air humping!

[serchnrescue]

he kinda looks like a giraffe

[serchnrescue]

fabreezeing the homeless lol...

[Kmill1848]

the side of the shit that doesn't have corn in it lol

[joeratti]

fuck knuckle!!

[SpartansFootball2014]

Funny

[Lyxke]

This had me Rollin lmao

[SpartanSoldier76]

Jesus loves him, but I wonder what he will say when he judges him at the Great White Throne Judgement Seat of Christ?.??.??

[TheFauxpas42]

@SpartanSoldier76 "Do that bit about abortion in South Dakota for me?"

[johnnyh117]

tosh looks bored

[savemecad]

i love daniel tosh. mainly because he's one of the few who are actually not afraid to say something completely offensive

[2biodude2]

i live in Kansas City and i took those "jokes" very offensive.

[blazinut]

@2biodude2 it was funny cause its true.

[TheFauxpas42]

@2biodude2 Good.

[asdfdsa59]

@2biodude2 It sucks, so I don't see why you would be offended, haha.



[MrShredtilldead]

@2biodude2 and thats why you live in Kansas City. Go chill out and smoke some meth.

[vexprt]

34 People would rather give a dollar to the guy who smells like liquid garbage

[jjscc8]

Aziz Ansari did this joke like 2 years ago.

[ZACHandGRAVYwin]

With enthusiasm FUCK KNUCKLE that's a dollar!

[FaKedandan]

@ZACHandGRAVYwin I want my experience :3

[ModifiedNinja]

He reuses his jokes.

[MrCynix]

@ModifiedNinja Every standup comedian does this.

[Babylauncher3000]

@ModifiedNinja

No crap. Who doesnt.

[missgirlluver]

i luv this guy! he reminds me of my best friend in the world, larkin. :D

[ronnghosh]

Make it hail, bitches!

[topperal]

i fell off my chair for the benoit joke lol

[ShamiryFace]

awwwww benoit joke... baaad. lol it was funny though

[mobleymcfly]

is that lavender get over here

[jewbacca1732]

My dad from knsas city and i go there t and.it actually.kinda awesome.

[ManosthehandsofBones]

@MoonMoneyI I knew he had it. But on his specials and all he looks so collected.

[kithmur]

Awesome !!!!

[DropsOfARainbow]

Im from kansas city:(

[ThrowDownArtists]

@DropsOfARainbow shitty deal.

[Ducknbob8]

@DropsOfARainbow I actually suffered through a year In KS he's right PAINFULL!!!!!!!!!!! the Brain-cell shortage in KS. has reached astronomical deficets !!!!!!!!!!!