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From: heinza1983
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  • Real men have a beard and/or moustache.

  • People just need to be allowed to be who they are. Human societies keep insisting on imposing arbitrary standards on people that have nothing to do with reality. It only contributes to the already considerable suffering of Humanity, both as individuals and as a species.

  • @elderberry9  “If man is to survive, he will have learned to take a delight in the essential differences between men and between cultures. He will learn that differences in people, as well as there ideas and attitudes are a delight, part of life's exciting variety, not something to fear. ” - Gene Roddenberry

    ― Gene Roddenberry

  • Joe's a poofter - who cares - his music is for everyone - shaddup and listen LOL

  • Let's fight over the meaning of this song, so that we can prove the truth that's in the lyrics...

  • stop being wanks about what it means its a song for everyone to take what they take from it

  • I find his piano playing in this song breathtaking.

  • This song is more relevant today than ever before...WHAT is a real man ??? Well most men don't want to confront the subject, even in 2011. Wonderful music.

  • the songs i shazam when i smoke. smh

  • Tori Amos singing this is like Billy Joel singing "I Am Woman Hear Me Roar".

  • A very powerful song.

    The macho mystique exists because it is what most women want.

  • @ORCA4312 really?

  • This song clearly spells out confusion in the modern society of the time. It shows how the romantic, old-fashioned male is disregarded by many women in society for men who treat women badly. This is clearly shown when the main character's girl-friend goes into the bar with the 3 bikers, being kind of a reference to the 3 boys who pick on the girl in the beginning. There is also a confusion shown when the couple is staring at the homosexuals, a reference to changing times in the early 1980s.

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  • I like it. He seems to say that macho forms of "masculinity" can be dangerous, for everyone including the "real men". I agree. Let us define masculinity on our own terms, whatever they may be.

  • @sillygoose544 Women define it for us. We can choose not to follow, but we will be shunned by most women.

  • Its not Tori Amos thank God, she brutalized this song in such a horrible way... I truly believe Joe would cry because she took what the song real meaning and she committed an abortion on it.

    I want to vomit into Tori Amos' mouth.

    That is all.

  • @musoshi Yeah. I was never a fan of hers. She strikes me as a poor man's Kate Bush - not nearly in her league.

    That aside, this song really shouldn't be sung by any woman. It would be like a man singing about the pain of childbirth.

  • My dad is one of the guys on the motorbike!

  • Meh, people are horrible, sometimes you just need to find the right people to help you through, the people who are brave enough to be different, to make a change, stop a cycle.

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  • Fucking sick of how politically correct the world has become, where are the real men instead of the pink and purple shirted poofters??? MAN UP, WORLD!!!

  • @1hr4play

    I agree, men need to man up these days.

  • @90talisten Exactly!

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  • @1hr4play Very true, a lot men have fallen by the attack of the feminizers and then those men cry even more really losing the interests of the real women have no interest, haha

  • Have listened and read the lyrics of this song more than any in a long time and I think the mistake to make is to think there is a sort of cryptic answer in the malaise of confused lament. I don't think there is, he is merely decrying the sheer overwhelming contradictions of modern day masculinity. That there are powerful and conflicting ideas of what is expected of a "man" and the sheer weight of these contradictions can be an overwhelming and crushing paradox.

  • @1991njl Of the hundreds of comments,many just hinting at the themes and possible allusions within the lyrics and video,you it seems have succinctly summed up the general concept of this song perfectly..It is possible however that the characterising in the lyrics could be applied in the context of a young man unsure of his place in society,if his role models empitomise masculinity,then what if his desires contradict what is deemed proper and acceptable male behaviour?Therein lies the paradox..

  • sorry but can anyone explain the gay part of the song to me? i didnt really understand it

  • @Dadge42 Its about gender stereo-types. Men must act like this, yadda yadda. This applies to gays, and in the video transgenders, as they are constantly challenging the view of 'masculinity' in modern times

  • @Dadge42 If you mean, all the gays are much, see that leather shine- he's observing how conventionally masculine symbols- leather, muscles, uniforms have become sexualised as gay symbols, and how this further obfuscates or confuses the conception of a real man.

  • What a man needs,Love, make love , not war ...haha

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  • The song is about intolerance and in particular, narrow and bigoted notions about masculinity. Are you serious? Your ludicrous misreading of the video and lyrics say more about your own homophobic notions about masculinity, proving the point of Jackson's song.

    "You don't want to sound dumb

    Don't want to offend

    So don't call me a faggot, not unless you are a friend.

    Then if you're tall

    And handsome and strong

    Then you can wear a uniform and I can play along."

  • A man knows he's a man and it's enough.

  • men are men,answer to yourself!

  • men are men,ansewr to yourself!

  • i think this song is a twisted philosophical/rhetorical question,it is just that his rhetoric is about confusion.the questions are there to confuse you're mind by polarizing it,if you are not confused,it may show prejudices and hard labels.

    as Kierkegaard says

    "How should i live,what life or ideal should i live or die by"

  • Wow,This is deep.

  • love the piano rythm

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  • This song is featured in National Public Radio's piece "Gay Pop Music

    Three Albums Reflect the Rise of Gay Civil Rights" from 2003. It's still on their web site. Interesting piece.

  • @CrookdRiverWmn this has nothing to do with "homosexuality" so I dont understand why it appears on a gay website. Someone on that site appears to be a bit confused in more ways than one.

  • How about this?: The song is about male angst around manhood and what it means. Joe Jackson did a fine job addressing this issue in song. And in 1983. It seems that young men aren't bothering with this dilemma anymore, if they ever have. They seem to be reverting to identifying with the most harsh and violent aspects of what some consider to be ideal manhood. For example, the popularity of rap among white middle-class boys. Why the embracing of such backword, simple-minded ideals?

  • Well, I think it's about what men have to bear in the gender battle -- between MEN! 

  • I forgot about this one.... used to hate it when it came on MTV/VH1... I know what i was missing out on.... I am old enough to know greatness.. How silly i was..

  • Girls naturally prefer strong guys to weak. As a male, ask yourself what do you admire or respect in a person? Bullies of course are pseudo-tough, they exude maleness or strength, but don't quite understand what it is. Showing determination, resolve, a willingness to endure pain to reach a goal, keeping your word, are just a few of the things that help make a guy become a real man.

  • Don't you guys get that the song is about the gay community and how it was viewed in the early 80s both from the outside and from within? Most songs on the Night and Day album deal with this. It was even named after a Cole porter song. Look it up guys, you're wrong. I think that the video is misleading a lot of people. It makes it seem like its about gender issues, but can you imagine how difficult it would have been to get a video produced in 1982 that dealt with real gay imagery and topics?

  • @terin317 i agree...all you have to do is read the lyrics.

  • @StraightShooter1976 nowhere in that video does he reject her, she rejects him for the bullies who bullied her, at the start he rescues her from the bullies, but later she prefers to be with them rather than him , hes hurt and rejected and therefore confused because he knows they will hurt her yet she chooses to be with them and then kills himself because he feels worthless. The gays and the lyrics about kill all the blacks kill all the reds and if theres war between the sex`s are side avenues.

  • @StraightShooter1976 The song is not about me or single individuals the title of the song is "Real Men " get it? its about men, dont turn this into an individual thing, its not, otherwise you completely contradict the song altogether. The songs core feature is about women preferring bad guys and not being attracted to the gentlemen nice guy thats is where the confusion lies with the guy its like hes asking himself"what do i do for a woman to like me? Beat her black and blue?"

  • muahhahaha

  • sorry guys got another perception of the whole thing. she likes sissy liberals, but then raunchy pigs still hassle. and she don't even want him to react. so it's a stall: how u gonna get rid of punks on violence whithout stopping being cool? so it's more like: redheads like to start fights and like to see their boy splat. p.d. fact is some other girl likes to be paid, i'm not violent speaking it out

  • Man I wish it was cool for a hetero guy to say shit this song rocks!!!

  • @StraightShooter1976 your not being very specific here, what role can he not escape that ends up alienating his girlfriend??? To me his girlfriend has alienated him. The gays he see`s just further points out overall the confusion about what it is to be a man on a general basis i.e men with men, bad men being preferred over a gentleman etc

  • Question - why does Joe Jackson put on such a phony American accent in all of his songs? He's from England for christ's sake. This is something that really annoys me. Be like Lilly Allen - embrace the way you speak naturally.

  • @Davez621 Been wondering myself too!! It's crappy, in anycase!!

  • @Davez621

    idiot

  • Joe Jackson himself is actually straight, correct?

  • SAVE THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN

  • I loved this song from the very first time I heard it! Will always love it!

  • i heard this at a funeral 2 days ago and i cant get it out off my head great song

    R.I.P. Arnold

  • What a wonderful song!

    Joe is great!!

  • real men lol. Your still a boy at 35.. great song though

  • I love this song..

  • What is the movie the kid is watching?

  • @42042 i don't know but i recognized James Dean!

  • @42042 the first movie is casa blanca

  • wow! it took me a while to appreciate this song, but those lyrics :O and that piano! wow!

  • This song is about, and the video proves it, the tendency among girls to like rough and rugged bad guys more than calm and cultural ones, though there's no any rational reason for it. This is a social wrong about those even-tempered noble guys, and gays have nothing to do with it.

  • @etbasch I thought it was about gender stereotypes and possible gays?

    'Girls that wore pink, boys that wore blue' - Gender stereotypes

    'See the nice boys, dancing in pairs' - gay

    'Don't call me a faggot unless you are a friend' - gay

    'Now and then we wonder who the real men are' - gay

    ?

    Correct me if I'm wrong, that's just what I thought.

  • @JustGabrielleee

    I get what you're saying with the first 3. But how do you figure the line 'Now and then we wonder who the real men are' is gay? It seems to me to be referring to a more universal question about what exactly constitutes a "real man".If you think about that hyper idealized notion of a man it's hard to imagine that any male could possibly live up to all of those qualities outside of a blockbuster action film protagonist. IMHO

  • @SylvanaForrester spot on, its got nothing to do with gay acceptance at all, its about the changing view of what an ideal man is, as in video the boy protects the girl but later she prefers to be with the abusers and so he feels confused and hurt and unworthy, like many women today see the good guy as weak and the macho man as strong.

  • @etbasch Well, NPR remarked on it as being an album that marked the rise of gay civil rights.

  • @etbasch IM AFRAID YOU COULDNT BE MORE WRONG CHAMP

  • @etbasch I disagree, "my Man" is all of the above. Looks rough and rugged, is more calm and 'cultural and clean' than any Man I know. I believe girls, boys, women and men need to be taught more of their worth- individually, outside of a relationship, than to bag the 'Men' who love, can be loved, are loved. I just don't want this song to be a flagship for any more hate than is already present in our world. Please don't make it about the sexes- 'cos there'll be no people left!

  • @etbasch Well articulated ''even-tempered noble''.

  • @etbasch It is NOT. Pay attention. The song, and the video, are about the way boys are misled by their culture to believe that girls only like tough, rugged domineering men, and if they're not like that, it means they're gay. Then, when girls reject them for trying to be domineering, they take it as a sign that they're not tough enough, and they try even harder, sometimes destroying themselves. Because they don't know how to be "real men"--who know the only way to be loved is to be yourself.

  • @etbasch

    See the nice boys,

    Dancing in pairs

    Golden earring, golden tan and blow wave in their hair.

    Sure they're all straight

    Straight as a line

    All the gays are macho, can't you see their leather shine.

  • @etbasch

    The song is about intolerance and in particular, narrow and bigoted notions about masculinity. Are you serious? Your ludicrous misreading of the video and lyrics say more about your own homophobic notions about masculinity, proving the point of Jackson's song.

    "You don't want to sound dumb

    Don't want to offend

    So don't call me a faggot, not unless you are a friend.

    Then if you're tall

    And handsome and strong

    Then you can wear a uniform and I can play along."

  • @etbasch your right, this song has nothing to do with gays, this is written out of Joe's personal experence, joe is not an artist who feels the compulsion to say the perfunctionary politically correct gay commentry.

    can anyone think of a Joe jackson song without meaning, a very complicated man

  • @etbasch

    in my life >I found out that the nice cultural men are the worth in the world-behind closed doors they are often monsters, because they never had the balls to do something bad or even get their bodies shaped up

    it sure has to be with gays as well- gays are gentlemen-rough guys show who they are and you may choose to avoid them, but the nice ones are mostly monsters

  • @Yokita6669 maybe you are right, partly because there are little true nice cultural men left, without a monster inside. But if they really are, they are the best husbands for today's women.

  • @etbasch I disagree. I think it's clearly about a gay man who was never able to admit he was gay, not even to himself, and felt he had to conform to societies expectations of what a man is and how they're supposed to act.

  • @etbasch I don't think that's the main point though <.<

  • What happens when people no longer have songs like this being produced?

    They will also be produced in the future.

    And so it goes,... around again!

  • i dont care what people think..im as straight as they come i love my women...i also love this song... remember it in the 80s and this song will remind me of those wonderful times as a kid. a classic

  • "don't call me a faggot not unless you are a friend" Joe Jackson pretty much OUTED himself in this song. Cool ;-)

  • I heard this song in a chatroulette video..

  • This song says it all; the quintessential nutshell in such poetic/musical perfection of the enigma.

  • @anthonyjsanger shut the fuck up

  • ..and so it goes..around again.. all people fair and equal.. this song is a song that should resontate for all people. It It not a 'gay rights' anthem; but if you're watching and reading this..then..

    At the very least your girls..

  • Despite this song being old, I find that it has this awesome modern feel. (quality asside)

  • It's old music, but the tekst is still up-to-date.. My respect to Joe!!

  • So much said in just 4 minutes,

  • Joe Jackson is one of the most underrated musicians of our time. This song is brilliant..love him. NO ONE writes like this any more

  • beautiful........sweet memories........

  • One of the best Joe Jackson songs!

  • I don't understand the video

  • Not just his best, but one of the best, ever!

  • One of the greatest songs ever written. Silly vid.

  • This is his best song. I love this song.

  • Will someone post "Cancer" from Night & Day? It's hard to find, though occasionally you can find the live version.

  • @TheTScotRhys There are several live performances of "Cancer" on Youtube. There is an early performance on Rockpalast on YT.

  • Night & Day has always been my pick for "What CD(album) would I have to have if I was stranded on a desert island?"

  • Well, opinions may differ about which is Joe Jackson's best song, this is a very good one anyway.

  • why is she getting into the drivers side at the end?

  • @timmy8911 Passenger side in the UK.

  • 11 people don't know what real men are.

  • It's not about changing gender roles. It's about the gender roles themselves. Just because a woman is not "feminine" or a man is not "masculine" by society "standards" does that make them any less of a man or a woman? That is what the song is about. It's about being more accepting. The roles seem to have us against each other... social roles, gender roles..race etc. He is saying it is obvious things need to change and even though we think they are changing no one is really sure :)

  • @thebupster no this song is about Joe`s angst against how society see`s the males role in society , watch the video carefully , once upon a time to be a man was to be a kind gentleman but now its decayed into being bad boys etc , and women accepting this as being more attractive , yet at the same time moaning about the asses hurting them and so the sad cycle continues, this song is not about sexuality.

  • @thebupster That's how you understand it as well. I was an adolescent when the song came out, and IMHO it caught the ambiguity people like me felt : all this high talks about "being a real man", trying to live up to it, all the while having a grasp of the presposterous side of it all when you don't want to fill into this mold. Now I understand a bit better who the real persons are, but at the time, the song opened new ways.And I'm not gay ! (nothing wrong if I was, but…)

  • I think it's stupid to change the gender roles. Men are men and women are women! They're supposed to complement each other. Being different doesn't mean they're not equal in value at all. Besides, being different is a good thing. It would be boring if men and women become totally alike. The difference makes us so attractive to the other gender and vice-versa. I don't like the competition between the genders. It's not right. We need each others, we shouldn't be rivals at all. :D

  • (continued from below) "Things have changed but they have to change more" because if there is a "war between the sexes then there'll be no people left"

  • @MegaCactuar777 I personally don't think this song is either for or against gays, but an expression of the confusion around changing gender roles. In the 80's when this was written, female liberation was quite new and gay pride just emerging, this created a lot of confusion for what a "real" man should be: tough and macho or cultured and clean? These issues are still relevant today for all of us, regardless of gender or sexuality. (continued..)

  • @indig0ding0 totally agree...

  • Songs like this never get old.

  • I like how at the end of the video the cop puts the girl in the drivers seat of the cop car! -

    I guess since her boy is gone, the cop can now get some action!

  • it took me FOREVER to rellize what the song was saying...i origanlly thought it was supporting gay's, but i see its against them...oh and by the way, i too dont think people should be gay but i respect them, i just wish more of them were cool and stuff instead of fruitcake and weird and shit

  • @MegaCactuar777 i too dont think people should be gay !

    Being gay is not a choice! I think u r typing about the sex.

    Be gay but dont have sex with men? And b a man not a fruitcake?

  • Homosexuals should watch this video and listen to the lyrics

  • @funk7000 We listen and think; We don't mind straight people as long as they act gey in public.

  • @Destiko Your argument is what you call a circular fallacy, because it goes on the assumption that being homosexual is the same as bing black, green-eyed, or left-handed, which is NOT prove and based on lies and false propaganda

  • @funk7000 My argument? I didn't write down any argument, because there is no discussion here. I just said that I listened to this song thinking, "Good song". And then i read your reaction and thought; "what the f*ck is he trying to say?"

  • @funk7000 your argument is what you call a circular fallacy, I am dum because i say dum things. I'm wagering your in the camp that says evolution hasn't been proved the world is 6 thousand years old and Adam garden of eden sin was a blow job from his brontasaurous u dip shit mindless fuck ps Im str8!

  • His best song.

  • @Michele640 Without doubt - hands down! Absolute masterpiece.

  • @Michele640 No, not his best - Just one of them

  • @Michele640 No, not his best - another one of them

  • @Michele640 A man of this level of sensitivity and able to express it without pandering and kick your ass in the meantime is more than rare. I don't know if he has ever been equaled in that regard. I would think it would be hell to be him. It's a miracle someone like him somehow got into the mainstream...well sort of. He managed to get his stuff on the air and achieve reasonable success. An artist though and through.

  • bellissima.

  • hmmm.. looks like this is the only youtube-clip of this song - By JJ.. and a bit hard to find because it is linked to "real man" instead of "real men". Could you add the tag "real men" ?

    Could you add the lyrics as well? I'm sure people would appreciate it..

  • @DMB1985CA very well put!!!

  • My questions is whats going to happen when people no longer have songs like this being produced? 

  • @Bmadd2032 2012

  • @Bmadd2032  We'll probably atrophy, slowly, while cowell and the other vermin ply their garbage on TV, trailing the screaming and clapping sheep-gobshites along like evil, saccharine pied pipers they are.

  • @Bmadd2032 I don't think there's anything like this anymore.

  • @Bmadd2032 what do you mean ? thats been happening for like 15 years

  • @Bmadd2032 it certainly looks grim for humans then !

  • Good question & if we're getting to that point - I hope I'm not here anymore.

  • @Bmadd2032 the revival of real music. Coming soon!

    But seriously, good music often comes out of some form of frustration and/or protest. And as long as the world is screwed as it is today, don't worry ;P

    I feel you though. We need this.

  • @Bmadd2032: what's going to happen? the real men are being pushed back to the position women have had until now...they're not getting even, they're getting revenge...just like they always said they would. And the sissy-men of today are handing them that position on a silver platter and they in turn gladly "assume the position"

    Men should listen to this song and act like men and use their strength when needed, not just to prove that they can. Men should lead the way, women give them the reason.

  • @ajsiemers wat? 

  • @Bmadd2032 we are already there and the answer is "lada gaga" and "justin bieber" rule the charts. Such a shame how today's "music" is little more than turgid ramblings, signifying nothing. Then again when the ADD youth of today crave such ramblings, it is perhaps little wonder.

  • @Bmadd2032 that will never happen. they may not be popular but humans are naturally creative. 

  • @Bmadd2032 What happens? Justin Bieber happens..that's what.

  • @Bmadd2032

    So true, standard radio is imbued by lackluster artists calling themselves musicians!

  • @Bmadd2032 Then they'll go ga-ga over talentless hacks like Beeeeeeeeber.

  • @Bmadd2032 The sad answer: We will have "Yesterday was Thursday Thursday, today it is Friday Friday, we we we so excited, we so excited..." and that will be it. Game over.

  • @Bmadd2032 The sad answer: We will have "Yesterday was Thursday Thursday, today it is Friday Friday, we we we so excited, we so excited..." and that will be it. Game over.

  • @skleeve29

    haha ye ur right

  • @Bmadd2032 WW III

  • @Bmadd2032 isn't already the case ?

  • @Bmadd2032 we can all hope for a war on western soil that interupts and hopefully brings an end to the mainstream entertainment industry because to be quiet frank, i'd rather take a bullet than put up with this catwalk vampire facial cleansing itwit generation's music any longer.

  • @Bmadd2032 Then you produce them.

  • @Bmadd2032 The music moguls will "discover " boy/girl band, and churn out the type of shite that`ll make them the most money - and people,young and old - will buy it `cause they don`t know any better......

  • And if there's war between the sexes, then there'll be no people left!

  • A timeless song. Even now, "Now it's all changed, it's gotta change more, cause we think it's getting better but nobody's really sure."

  • Yer its tough when women want to be men as well. Maybe Joe should write another song. Whats a real women.

  • @newromantic888 It would be interesting to know what Joe thinks what a real woman should be

  • Love this song! Great meaning, too!

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  • Love this song, it says just how I feel!

  • best song ever !!! still x

  • I blame the feminists.

  • Happy Birthday Joe Jackson.

  • Great song!