Confidence? Are you born with it?

[moron3698]

@NessalovesChuchi Hey, sorry for the late reply. What I find the key thing for me was to let go. To actually stop "trying" to be more confident and less nervous mentally. The harder you try, the worse it'll be. Struggling against your mind in any way will lead to negative results. The key is to relax your mind and accept who you are CURRENTLY. You can build confidence by real life experiences.

[moron3698]

I had depression, anxiety disorders, and schizophrenia like delusions in childhood, no confidence, and so many things were hard. But I'm successfully turning all that around now, beginning to accept myself, and staying positive. My future goal is to help other people with disorders such as anxiety and share my experiences of how I got out.

[SimplicityofThoughts]

hi, I think in one of your videos you talk about a site you can go to, type in your zip code and then find local get togethers that are happening. I can't find the video where you talk about this and was curious as to what the site was. Thanks!

[anil567]

so kool baby i just love u & ur videos ..it so true

[flashbiddy]

I am a male art model and contemporary dancer I always pose/perform fully nude as I believe this allows the AUDIENCE to concentrate on the form , movement and shape of the model. CONFIDENCE HAS TO BE EARNED OH' and the best COSTUME IS NO COSTUME

[Abenkin]

you're the most beautiful creature on earth

[newskin376]

I think confidence is built by our surroundings. Our parents, friends, and opportunities help to shape who we are. Change is possible, but not as easy as changing an outfit. You first have to love yourself and that can be hard if you don't have many friends.

[rgchrono]

ah, you are in san fran??

Makes sense ! my gf and I went to san fran a year ago...and one thing i notice was that people over there are more open to date outside of their race, I am latino and my gf is black, which was refreshing to see. I also saw a lot of asian women with latin guys, which is not even see so much in Los angeles, where my gf and I are from.

thanks for your tips

[jusreal25]

i want to gain self confidence and self esteem i want to knw how to gain self confedience im tired of ppl runnin over me...

[MONTARE9]

Well what if you lack confidence because of reasons beyond your control?If a guy who suffers from bad acne still came across as confident,would the girls be interested,i think not.

[ysmn68]

LOL @ the comment below me. hahah

[Bloodmook]

I want to edit your videos, some sentences get chopped off here and there, I noticed. i could totally help! ^-^

I also want to marry you but that's beside the point. >_>

[klowtNsCkInGz]

i want to learn how to dance =/

[ryansanders2009]

Very good pppnss blaaa spit it out.. points. We all have our own unique ability and most people cherish you for who you are - those are the best people to be around. I highly recommend Toastmasters as it is a great opportunity to work on your communication skills and just being more social! Theres gotta be one around you as its completely international. Hey, the more personal something is to you, the more universal it is in this world. Let's all be people of action & choose the destiny we want!

[IamDMStheH3r0]

haha great advice...i remember when i was around a lot of people at once, i would get a little red, even if i wasnt nervous...but i researched what it was all about, and it has to do with your breathing, hehe, like when i was around a bunch of people i didnt take as big of breaths as i usually do...hehe i take big breaths now and its all good...oh and nice bloopers btw...i do the exact same thing when i make my vids...hehe...

[regisor94]

In high school, I was pretty shy and introverted, but when I went away for college, to a whole new environment... I completely reinvented myself.

I was more confident and extroverted. It's worked well for me ever since.

[SupaAbzyBall]

same ere! touch!

[LeatherSeatBelt]

i dont why i shake. im only 18 and sometimes when i pick up water glasses my hand shakes so dramatically i swear people take notice. plus whenever i stand in line sometimes my leg shakes real hard. i cant tell if its my nervousness or theres something wrong with me. i think weed has done some damage.

[nycolombian91]

its cause all the weed youve smoked has made you paranoid and fucks up the way u think.

[SupaAbzyBall]

go travelling!

[youlosez]

haha this will help big time! If you don't talk to people in foreign countries, and you're alone- you're screwed!

[xm8pro]

Confidence is just a lack of self awareness. Which is why stupid people are 'born' with it and some people have to work on it.

thats just my theory.

[vanae12]

these people are not stupid, just haven't become aware yet and if they are taking the steps towards this..then they're in the right direction

[xm8pro]

mm think you misread my comment. i didnt call people looking to develop confidence stupid. was referring to the naturals ; )

And i only say that theyre not self aware because it is an acquired trait to have self confidence when you know that the world around you is going to have problems with you no matter what you do. but im pretty sure we're talking about two different groups

[TeAyCi]

you ARE awesome.

i have tons of confidence but it seems like it goes away when i am talking to other people and i freeze up and don't know what to say or it comes out sarcastic or bitchy but i am really meaning to be nice

[hughmanwho]

Confidence can definitely be learned.. I used to be very shy and now I am more confident. I attribute it to forcing myself to talk to random people (mostly girls), and swing dancing. Also when you put out the right body language for swing dancing you feel more confident.

Of course I think I think this new mind altering drug I am taking for ADD has also helped.

[DyeMatrixDM6]

for me my shyness is actually a disorder i have physically. my face turns red whenever I talk to someone. its just like in your bloopers how you mess up when you talk. if that was me my face just turns red. i can try to play it off with all the confidence i want but my red face will show through.

[aurorya]

That does not sound fun! But happily there will be things you can do about it. I mean, we only get this one life here (within the same consciousness at least, I guess, errr...) and it's a bit limiting to always play victim with yourself, so maybe start small with family and close friends in slightly unusual envorinments and branch out? Now or never :D <3

[Misty15big]

I know some people have this "toughen up and get over shyness attitude" but unless you've actually had to deal with it... it's just not something you can get rid of by waving the magic wand. It takes time and patience. I guess the point is you work towards acheiving the right amount of confidence... just don't beat yourself up over it in the process you know.

[SilverSurfer3o]

Vanae, it sounds good and all but the word "Confidence"  just doesn't fit too well with the below average person + shyness. its 1 thing if the person is average and shy to overcome and have confidence but its not gonna work with the lesser goups.

[trishstratus111]

No guys should fear women. There are more women in this world than guys. If she don't like you then tough. Go find another women. Don't waste your life over her.

The problem why more men are becoming shy is because of money. You give women money and they roll over guys. Look at all the rich women. Therefore, men should not be money-centric and decapitalized the world.

[TomaCukor]

thoose who arent confident enuff have to get drunk with their friends and meet/socialize with other ppl like who are also drunk

after some time ull be good enuff to socialize without drinking it aint hard

[worldcrafter]

vanae, i love your videos, but you seriously need to match the volume of your intro vid music with the volume of your vlog volume. the intro vid music is like 3X as loud, which startles me since i have to turn up the volume to hear your voice.

[dupofb17]

Alright my reasons for going is to have a better understanding in life,dating,and socializing. With these tools hopefully I can be a better person...

[dankyfanatic]

so what nationality are you? chinese, korean, japanese?

[nintendonerd543678]

does this mean u can learn to look good?

[babybubss]

yeah obv, get a new haircut/ clothes, improve posture and figure, exercise

[Levixxrock]

i want to really change my shyness and fear of girls, and i want to understand how to act and what to do when i'm around them or hanging out with them.

[oxidiana93]

you'll know anything to now with time and experience, everyone have his way to become confident ;)

[vanae12]

my workshop will show you all these.

come and register!

[Levixxrock]

yeah but i dont think i can lol

too young.

;)

[boax02]

1700 # lolz

[statix888]

you seem to know all about this. but you should research about certain community who attacks people who has confidence... that i wanna watch and know more about... and i say i was born to it... i'm easily embarrassed, but confidence yes.

i got the detail from: biantai888

[Darksoul2x]

hey vanae, your facebook link doesnt work. (Page not found)

[vanae12]

thanks for pointing this out dear.

i've posted the right link.

let me if it still doesn't work

V

[Jarizono]

i don't have an ego complex thank god shy ppl usually have something to hide and worry too much about impressing others which is really sad...

[kjalcaraz84]

I love your videos, you're so helpful. :)

[clap5]

with your style. Another way is to be pleasent to people you meet. That also means to not were a frown or look sad or crazy. Smile and maintance a neutral vibe. Think about the postive possiblitys of people. Don't assume everyone thinks your disgusting or a loser. That will detract people from wanting to approach you. Wear a smile and be happy. People don't want to approach someone who looks like a negitive person.

[clap5]

Exercising is a good way to build self esteem. Changing the way your body looks and how you feel physically. The gym is a good way to be around people and talk to them. Clothing is another big one. The way you dress can show people without talking to them, how you feel about yourself. If you dress really crummy...people will think that your a crummy person. Clothing can show people what your interest are without speaking. Hiphop, country, bussiness, etc. You will attract people who identify...

[BIB16bear]

3 things

1: ones you get to know people you get more confident around those people and the more people you get to know the more confident you get.

2: some people is not sosial or confident around other people because they had a bad experinsa like being bullyd.

3: people is more confident on the internet because they don't meet em in person and they can hide behind they'r pc

[SteveDutzy]

Confidence? Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline.

[AbZy119]

lol

[misssjlovesrichie]

i just love her shirt! honestly!

its awesome!!

can i have it? :D

Ps. amazing video girl! :) keep rockin' !

[vanae12]

it's a dress. if you're my size.. i'll send it to yah!

=)

in exchange of you doing something great for someone

V

[biantai888]

I have known people that were subjected to physical and mental abuse from their communities while they were growing up. It affected most of them in a profound way and is deeply saddening. It looks to me like that sort of thing is woven into the social fabric of most of America.

I would recommend living in another country for a few years. It puts things into perspective.

[vanae12]

you're super welcome.

and you'll love SF bay area!

[anthonyh425]

Some of it may be cuz ur soundings when u grow up, like if ur not really able to have an open relation and being able to talk with ur family, that may cause some problems, just getta get out there, have fun, and try to practice talking with ppl. hope this helps...neway HEY! LOVE the BLOOPERS! u should do a vid on that haha. take care everyone! have an awesome 4th of July!!! Stay Kool!!

[chrisfball12]

This topic was on my mind and i wanted to change my confidence also. I work at Costco and talk to 300+ people a day. So i just open up to my customers and talk to them more. Talk to 300 people a day and it will work.

[TheManAbove]

I think I need to change something about my confidence (Or lack thereof), because I have been wanting to try to talk to women, but when I think about it, I start to go insane.

[JuzDotA]

Thanks for the ' successful people get shit done ' =)

[jlwest23]

i understand what you are saying but people have more than other we live in a superficial world that neglects difference and it sucks but is true either you your part of the social norm or not make a click or what ever just live and do not be yourself

[ohhbehave83]

It took an acting class and the discovery that performing arts is exactly what fuels my passion to coax my confidence out. So does that mean I was born with it? Hard to tell. It's situational confidence.

[chasers16]

i just take pills for my shyness

[AyeJreem]

I want to be more confident and social, especially around new people and large groups. I think I just need to get it in my head and put myself out there more.

[1981footboy]

@AyeJreem I agree. I just need to force myself and open myself to people. I need to stop be afraid

[Drav1212]

"They get shit done" I am guessing you went to Harvard, Yale or Princton..

[giraffepolice]

Take acting lessons. I am serious.

[xxsoulEater101o]

@giraffepolice why do people recommend acting lessons? : /

[DoDaDaMnThAnG69]

"people who are successful, get shit done." definitely agree.

[RayKalmNiam]

Vanae, you seem to have put a invalid facebook link <__<.

[siasti]

I want one-on-one lessons in Vanaese...

[electricrock]

I'm very anti-social little boy, but after i take some cocaine i turn into a motherfucking PIMP!

[vehnom1]

I am boring :(

[gigicat21]

hahha...wow..the sound at the end of the video tripped me out.

I used to be shy but then i got a job that forced me to be outgoing... and now im very outgoing...haha.

"KNOWING IS THE KEY TO YOUR SUCCESS" -gigicat21

let's make this collab ... awesome ideas!

[Azzaiel]

the world doesn't like my confidence ... they can suck it =P

[ALEXJ1993]

i find when i drink alcohol i become alot more social, and have met many friends boys/girls this way

[SirArthur007]

Confidence is more than just a state of mind- its a lifestyle, a very demanding yet rewarding lifestyle.

[ctfc92]

You've inspired me to buy some new jeans

wooooop wooop

[BlackSnow21T]

hey vanae, ur facebook link does not work

[oOoInStInCtoOo]

Are u serious a workshop???? People need to learn by themselves well thats how i did

[kdhbc]

i want to change my love life

[ilovebobmarley69]

i so agree..i had low self esteem and i changed alot of things about myself..i look alot better now and so i'm alot more confident and outgoing ...trust me people vanae knows what she's talking about ...

[xxlovedtobelovedxx]

purly cool advice Venae :) Yeah its the main key on becoming a good social person :D love your musical at the end :)

[iloveyouvincentgray]

I want to overcome shyness. I'm not like.. super shy,but I have some shyness problems.

I try to communicate more with people, since speech seems to be where my main trouble is. =]

This should help lots of people. =D

And I think you should have a V'talk Thursday about friendships. (Meaning like..how they impact choices you make... >_> ie: boyfriends, what other friends you can have, etc). but I mean kind of like an opinion, not what to do and stuff.. =]

[Arejek]

I want to be more confident as I step out into the public world. I used to think it was impossible, that I was born with a handicap... but not so - persistence is the key to change.

[rath748]

I need help i like a girl but I don't know what to do every time i try to talk to her I blank out and just end up walking away. please help

[pinacoolatacha]

First view! this makes me feel awesome. I'm easily amused......XD

[x0XHatredX0x]

first comment

[ZelosWalgrem]

what's the song in the intro? =O