When she cancels your first date with a short notice....

[anderskittilsen]

she texted me in the morning the day we were to meet. its valentinesday and had to be with her boyfriend. is that a good excuse?

[MrCassanova08]

Her excuse for not making it was that she was scared. I thought it over, on the phone and I let it go. Today, she has called me since morning and I haven't responded. Arkady, what should I do with this situation as I am still angry about it!

[MrBreezyG]

I was supposed to hang out with a girl who has a busy schedule, and I asked when she was available. She told me Wednesday at 6Pm would work, this was on Sunday we arranged this. Wednesday came around, and it wasn't until 7Pm that she sent me a text saying she has to wake up at 9 am the next day ( I don't see how a date at 6pm would have anything to do with that) and that her mom said no. We have hung out before, so this seems like she flaked on me. Where should I go with this?

[VISHMAN14]

Ok. I was supposed to get lunch with this girl today. It was out first time hanging out like this. One hour before she said she had to study for a test that afternoon, and cancelled, even though she said nothing about it when I asked her. Advice anybody?

[wild4winter]

absolutely.. men do this often as well. it's simply become a dealbreaker for me.. so disrespectful and indecisive...

[a1oner]

Аааааа! И почему я не посмотрел это видео пару лет назад.. :))

Спасибо за советы, Аркадий. Действительно чёткие, лаконичные и толковые, а не всё это пикаперское фуфло за бабло.

[dkslfjgh]

One of my vices is that I am too nice.

[AGZraider15]

I wanted to make a good impression so i invied a girl to six flags to tag along with some other friends she said yes a week in advance then day before she cancels :( took your advice forget her

[Aarik666]

this guy is brilliant..! totally agree with him.. i wish i had seen this a few months ago.. :/

[Gfresh844]

Lol, some girl did this to me today. Funny thing is that I was considering about not going through with it but thought doing that to someone would be reallly shitty... No doubt I will have to give her a taste of her own medicine.

[gongxia649]

Just deleted 2 chicks phone numbers after watching this very good video.

Invested too much energy on them and did not really get anything.

[gongxia649]

Good advice.

[SecretAsianBoi]

just happened to me, i swear arkady's got every video for dating advice.

[bluenote335]

Very well said.

[Divinefavor730]

This same thing just happened to me except this was a guy canceling right before the date and claimed he rather stay home instead.

[ssaiyan3]

I'm, so very grateful I found these videos before I made a fool of myself. Thank you for spreading this knowledge.

[ossander]

Right on dude!

[lkeibkele]

This vid is ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. If she dosent respect you on the first date SHE SURE WONT RESPECT YOU ON THE SECOND IF YOU BEND OVER FOR HER.

NEXT HER IMMEDIATELY!!

[soltar76]

Wow! That was surprisingly, really helpful. I just got bailed on 10 minutes after I was supposed to meet someone.

[Catinthepurplehat]

No, this is crap. What if her sis went into labour or something?

[luncheonechelon]

Yes, from my experience of dating, being "irresponsible" is a deadly sin. If she doesn't do what she says she will do, you can suffer eternal damage in a real relationship. Better to cut the pain short at the beginning and stop contacting her.

[Nenasonora]

WE GIRLS have tu forget a boy for cancel a date and YOU boys WHY dont foget a girl tu cancel a date????? i say this cuz i already see your other video talking about this for boys,,,,, :(

[theman10069]

well what if u dont call her back but she calls u back sayin she wants to go out? Do u take her out or blow or off?

[Paradox4000]

@theman10069 I'd say take her out, if she cancels again, please, for the love of god, next her. If she cancels the second date, totally forget about her. If she lies to you at all for anything anytime anywhere, don't do what I did ask her out on a second date just to get burned again, ignore her completely.

[jim121272]

Amen, brother! My sentiments exactly.

[tara8686]

that advice works with guys too

[minederien]

i totally agree with this guy. Never call back a girl that cancels on the first date. If you call back youll look like a sucker.. you need to show this girl that you dont really care, you got other things to do and other girls to fuck.. most of the time.. shell just call back on her own...

[kahblamo1]

just happened to me last week, its very disappointing :/

I took your advice and never responded to her text, but she called me back today and asked me out. I told her I'd have to think about it and call her back. When I said that she sounded upset, so now I wonder if girls pull shit like this just to test you to see how you stand up for yourself.

I don't think I should take her offer... dating should be fun, not a pain in the ass.

[Infiniteuphorix]

It's difficult isn't it.. what if the reasons she gave you are perfectly legitimate reasons though.. It's also about whether you think she may be worth it too (how hot she is, successful etc.) A girl just cancelled the second date on me because her nails cracked and she had to get them fixed on late night shopping night... I almost told her to go fuck herself but I resisted and still might give her one more chance as she is very attractive..

[kahblamo1]

Now that I've had 2 months to think about it, I realize that it's not difficult at all. My judgement was clouded by the fact that the girl I was talking about was a solid 9, and I liked her, and I wanted it to work out. When it just happened I was not thinking about it objectively enough, because I was upset. But now I see that you just can't waste your time with a girl who would do that, not even if she was an 11. If a girl was interested she would not do that so early in a relationship.

[JinXuanJun]

of course man, i agree with you dating should be enjoying each other not no mind games, tests and all that BS

[KerryDoan]

@kahblamo1 karma sucks LOL

[gongxia649]

CLAP CLAPS!!

[rookguarder]

Wow im glad i watched this because this had just happened to me today she said she had to do chores and whether its true or not i dont think i should ever talk to her again, thanks arkady...im 18 btw shes 17 for people wondering

[antonio91072]

well, imagine that i still got nothing out of her. She tells me she's bissexual and she likes having affairs. i was really only after a girlfriend, nothing else. This is why it got so delayed (i told her that affairs are a waste of time). So recently she confessed she does feel attracted to me. I think i'll just go for it and enjoy the ride. I wanted it my way.. romantic, sincere.. But it cannot always be the way we want, i guess..

[doughboy294]

HELP POR FAVOR!so i have been talking,well texting this one girl for a little while and i asked her out she said yeah. so she cancelled on me like two or three times. legit reasons but i thought it sucked cause she already said yeah. but she texts me a lot saying stuff like i miss you babe and i wish you were with me right now. i would really like to get to know her more. we just recently went out and it went pretty well.she texted me a couple hours after saying she had a great time. ur thoughts

[boombeem]

Arkady, this happened to me too. I was about to go out with a girl tonight, but she canceled cos she said she was ill. Im dissapointed, but i dont know if i should ask her out again (she told me she was sick a few days before tonight, and she said she texted me but i didnt recieve it) Help me please?

[Komaoala]

It's an excuse. Unless it's fever, flu or migraine, women can be just as alert as normal. Illness shouldn't stop a date. Shoot, if my girl wants (or needs) to see me, she'll do anything to show up.

[Tcsei]

If you know she was sick, just text back and attempt to reschedule. If she says 'sure' then chances are she really wants to see you. If she says 'no' then you know she wasn't really interested & leave it at that.

Illness is a valid excuse in my eyes. I've been on dates where the person was sick. It can be really embarrassing for them if they're constantly having to cough/blow their nose or whatever. + if she IS really interested in me, I'd rather have her stay home & recover faster.

[harbeh]

I have a question. if you planned a date say thursday but she emailed you on wednesday, a day before the date. do you consider that short notice?

[arkady39]

This depends. If you already know each other fairly well and you are available, it's fine to have one-day notice.

[Sammeh122]

i was supposed to go to a movie with a girl on a friday, and thrusday night she texts me and says "something came up, im really sorry" i text back and asked if everything is ok and she doesnt answer...bad sign or what?

[dragoons9009]

Yeah, for get her, Sammeh122.

[LvPatriot1]

dude, think with head, that is not a bad sign, that is no sign of interest on you, so get better girl :)

(only my thaughts)

[BOBMagasinet]

Sound's as a bad sign to me.

[antonio91072]

Hey arkady, this just happened to me! She text me 4 hours before saying she's not feeling good and needs to sleep, but she also added that we could meet and watch a film next week, that she realizes its on short notice and apologizes for this. Since sh suggested an alternative, should i text her that it's ok o we'll meet next week or should i just follow your advice and move on? what is your advice?

[arkady39]

Well, this doesn't sound like flaking. It sounds like she is not feeling well. Text her back: "Call me" and then talk. Don't do this over text.

[antonio91072]

great!thanks a lot. Actually she sent me a second message (after 2 hours), asking if i got the first one and if it's ok to meet next week. I called her and said it's fine, that i need to check my schedule and will get back to her. Girls.. :) Thanks a lot. Love your videos and already recommended them another friend. Keep up the good work! you're a great help!

[resilientkid]

I know that happened 3 months ago (as per the age of your comments) but how did it turn out with her?

[Suvo13]

Спасибо за совет.

[arkady39]

You welcome.

[firestrike17]

thank you for your advice

[SouLEEK]

3.He communicated to her that she did NOT have any power over him and that unless she puts her shit together he's gonna walk, BAM, she's taken by surprise and DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO BUT APOLOGIZE OR FLAKE (either way you gain - if she apologizes, you just showed her that you see right through her game, 1-0 your way, if she flakes then she obviously fits the descriptions that arkady here has decribed in the vid) - translation: the scale of power tipped to your side

What do you think dude?

[SouLEEK]

I believe we need to explore the dynamic of the relationship at play in this specific circumstance to really understand what happened:

1. Both parties agreed to go out on a date on mutally agreed terms - translation: the scale of power is balanced

2. She cancelled on him at the LAST minute, yes, you guessed it, SHE DID SO ON HER TERMS - translation: the scale of power tipped to her side

[SouLEEK]

I do agree with what you said, however, i believe everyone deserves a second chance. Hold on, before you start critizing me, let me finish. Please. Not just ANY second chance, a second chance that she will have to show some good faith to EARN it.

A very similar situation happened to one of my friends recently; but instead of totally writing her off, he basically put her in her place and surprise surprise she was the one crawling back apologizing and asking for a rescheduled date.

[Moofy2924]

What if she really actually likes the guy but can't go on the first because of something utterly important...?Mabey she's actualy sick or something and doen't want to get the guy sick. O.o

[arkady39]

That's completely legitimate, but then - usually you will know that it's for real and she is very likely to ask you to call her and suggest an alternate day and time to meet.

[Moofy2924]

truueee....

so it basically depends on circumstance? but, the main piont is if she doesn't put effort to go on a first date, then she probably won't for the rest of them. gotcha.

[Tai02]

This situation has already happened to me. She texted me 15 min (!!!!) before the date saying:"Sorry but I can´t. I have to sleep... I´m very tired." This ruined my day completly!! I decided to move on. Yes she´s atractive but with this type of atitude it just doesn´t worth my time. great advice Arkady39 :)

[arkady39]

Exactly! You got it right.

[7blOOds7]

Yea, but think it this way: you call her to reschedule the date and she tells you she can't go out 'cause the day before she had a harsh day and tomorrow it's her B-Day and stuff.:))...That happened to me and it kinda' ruined my whole day. And to make it even better, in the evening she texts me 'hey :D'...dude, trust me, that's rude:))...P.S.: Arkady, you're a genius, man!:D

[Majutsukou]

You're absolutely right...I had a girl cancel 3 times on me before I just said screw it. Now if I stand back and look back on her, being irresponsible and inconsiderate both epitomize her life in a nutshell.

[kotk05]

You're right, I had date cancel on me at the last minute, then showed up really late to the rescheduled date because "when grandma makes dinner, you have to go". Yeah, thanks for making your uninterest really obvious. LOL.

[kyke00]

hey arkady , iam curious were did you learn all this excellent stuff that you teach ???? you are great because you explain why and always give examples , something that david d angelo cant do

[ziogasas]

Yeah, not just "do it if you don't want to be a wussy" (although that helps too), great stuff!

[JinXuanJun]

maybe she cancelled out because she decided she really didnt want to go on a date

[arkady39]

Sure, that's the bottom line.

[Isramirez20]

You are totally right!

Thanks:-)

[arkady39]

Thank you.