How To Be Confident, Attractive and Self-Assured

[ProjectFrezee]

Im the fat guy at my school. nobody would hang out with me and Im being myself 100% but still NOBODY likes me, the only thing I do is playing games on my xbox and nobody want's to talk to me I so depressed, and lately my mom told she want'sme out of this house and move over to my dad :( feel like i should take suicide or something:( I just can't handel this :(  I don't wanna live anymore...

[crandallino]

talk to a therpist....even your star athlete went or is going to a therapist...if you dont have the means-- research....most importantly you have to understand things will change, but you have to make the effort...Everytime you play videogames you could be stuydying or playing a sport or club...I was fat but i changed myself, as have many others..If your seriously contemplating suicide call a hotline if youre too embaressed to go to a therapist, but this life is yours, dont end it

[glamglitter207]

Be who you are......

[glamglitter207]

Before I was shy because I thought that maybe they would laugh at me and think bad about me but I realize that u just have to b

[ifinefilmz]

tru saying..

[kokokorina]

Dear Larry, Throughout my life I have had issues with low self confidence and self esteem and unable to stand up for myself, wondering to be an assertive person who could stand for himself.

[kay8x]

I used to have a long stress. That made me a quite person and now i'm worry because now when i need and want to say something i'm afraid It's wrong to say that..And then i get scared coz i think those people they'll laugh at me and call me in their my as the suckest idiot of all timee... I just want to be more confident in myself. Because I love me. And I know i'm good at some thing..but when in a crowd, I lose that faith .and it's just..so stuck ToT ToT ToT

[xltoday]

Larry's got the book "confidence for dummies". See it on the left side of his right ear?

[reachingsuccess]

Great video, lots of time we worry about the wrong things. Thank for sharing

[dannyvu767]

You are hot I am in love with you :] -3

[koochkooch]

How to get any women: confidence.

How to be confident: not giving a crap what others think of you.

[HRWellness]

Larry, just clicked in, Great video and message, so many of us limit ourselves by what others say or do rather than just being ourselves. THKS HR

[ElvisHan1126]

Hi,Larry,I am so glad to have a chance to know you ,I am a Chinese,yes ,though it's hard to be here ,I'm here now.As you may guess it ,I am very passive,I live in a home which I think is pretty tough. Yes in some way they treat me well,but they just don't support me ,it's terrible.Every time when I make up my mind they just find out some excuse to let me down.But the result just as you know,is not good,even push it harder.Now I find myself so self-abased,I hope you can give me some useful advise

[MrJoe2199]

Hey AppleFreakish! One question, who do you think these people your afraid of being rejected by at school will like more and want to be friends with? Your self imposed quiest shy alter ego or your true self that is fun, confident and doesnt care what anyone thinks? Just be yourself and not care what anyone else thinks, if you do this you will gain friends and huge respect from those around you. Confidence is the key to success that will open more doors than you can even imagine.

[SylarTheBest]

Hey Larry, this is the 1st vid I've watched from you, you seem like a really nice person!

My question is this: I'm just 17, and I'm not really the most confident person on the planet, but what you say at the end of the video "Be who you are, the right people will show up" it seems hard for me to believe it. I think I have to change to please people, maybe I'm just wanting to rush things up because I'm young and don't have patience? Is what you said really true?

[lhochman]

@SylarTheBest It's the absolute truth. At 17 you're discovering so many things about yourself. And like most teens you've probably been told by very well meaning people how to act and who you're supposed to be. They love you, but they aren't inside your head or your heart. The best way to please the RIGHT people is to continue to let yourself unfold. :)

[coercingcoexistence]

@SylarTheBest

Look at it this way: You can either go the rest of your life trying to please EVERYONE you meet(which is impossible, no matter who you are) OR you can be who you envision yourself to be and act upon that at the risk of turning some people off, but this a sure way of filtering out people who don't fit into your reality and letting in those who admire you.

[SylarTheBest]

@coercingcoexistence Great way of putting it :)

Thanks a lot for the help!

[Igringox]

Be who u r .. Thanks

[onlineinfocompany]

affluentsocial com

[ultraphoennix]

kind sir plz tell me something i have a Q ? my mom says i don't speak confidently with other person who i don't know, am always like..you know i don't speak confidetly plz plz kind sir help me :s my mom is always saying these things and am getting sick of it :S help me good sir :S

[BackInsight]

Very nice video. Informative. Believing in oneself.

[AppleFreakish]

Its soo hard to be myself :'(, I am such a shy, quiet person at school cause I don't want to be myself there cause I know I will be judged so im afraid of that :( At home I am crazy wild, happy, laughs a ton, and dances randomly to songs and says random stuff but I think that people will think this is somewhat weird. I so wish I can be myself :(

[lhochman]

@AppleFreakish Who else would you be? See the response I gave Sylar The Best above this one.

[fuckingthepussyholes]

@AppleFreakish I was and I still am partly the same, its definately best to be yourself, but you have to be confident being that way. That means having a tough skin so you can handle any critisim and also being assertive when anyone challenges or ridicules the way you are as a person. The thing is we are mostly brought up to form a personality that is liked by absolutely everyone or whoever is important to us at the time.

[fuckingthepussyholes]

also to add to this is, everyone doesnt like everyone, it's ok to only be liked by some people and disliked or "not in" with others. If that was the there would be no conflicts or wars or fighting if everyone got along with each other, so to reiterate what the uploader intends on promoting, is be yourself, be comfortable in your own skin, and be confident and assertive whilst being yourself, and you will filter through the people who like you and the one's who you may not naturally get on with

[sigurjong]

@AppleFreakish You can't be yourself. The whole world is gonna laugh at you once you even try to be yourself and you will be ridiculed like you've never ever experienced before. Make peace with the way things are. I did and I'm a happier man.

[andrew19vato]

@sigurjong what do u mean you cant be yourself? if that is your opinion then fine, but since when can you not be yourself? "ohhh people are gonna laugh me" so fucking what!!

[frr1990]

cheers for that



[Verification11]

i wish one of those book behind u get in my mailbox i bet it will help me alot .... !!!!!!!

[kingofkings09876]

this helps a little because im very insecure about everything i do and feels weird like everyone wants me to feel weird sorry if this doesn't make sense

[Everlastingev]

Cool message

[sum41Rck]

do you have ADHD? that might be why your so cumpulsive and energetic?

[legggggggggy]

You look like the guy in american history X. Can we see your chest?

[spikedude55]

Ima 5 ft 1 tall man, it seems like no one wants to date me. =(

[LCbabyxO]

this was great :)

[bloodycrossroads]

Thank you! I really appreciate this video, just one thing how do I tell people who arn't respecting me off



[Notownsoad]

thanks larry

[Domzaki]

Ok, so i listened to this, yeah lol it's a great video.

I've learned a lot from this video, i analyzed the way you had spoke, and watching that i decided an (what i and im sure 1 or 2 no matter who) effective way of conciously changing you to be confident.

So, you didn't have, what i call Submissive language in there!! You didn't say anything such as "um" or " ya know?". You didn't laugh at or doubt yourself yourself, you respected who you are and the decision of putting this vid on YT.

[Domzaki]

@Domzaki -Continuation-

Respecting yourself AND making sure that you aren't using language that gives the effect of you being shy and aren't doubting yourself!

A lot of people talk like that on the internet, however, this often changes when you talk in real life!

Starting from today I have decided to not use words such as "like" or "i don't know" and so on.

Yes i know 'like' doesn't seem like a culprit, but imagine what you say when you are put on a tight spot; more often than not like...

[Domzaki]

@Domzaki -continuation pt3- WOW I WISH I WROTE AN ARTICLE INSTEAD OF THIS. Ok, so "like" makes a sentence have a shy or unsociable effect. bob- Hey joe, wanna go out bowling tonight? joe - Sure! Ok, nice simple answer, confident enough. unlike this : Bob- Hey joe, wanna go out bowling tonight? Joe- um, sure,but like, is it ok, When you say like you more than often put yourself in a spot where you say more than you need to. first- confident second- uncertain

[Domzaki]

@Domzaki Just wanted to share my thoughts, thanks.

I am only 14 years of age, hence I will not be as wise or adept at helping others or giving advice as other people, but I think that this will be helpful for at least a person, if my thinking was wrong, so be it :P we are all human not some, machines made to make cars perfectly.

Thanks for reading if you could be bothered ^^

[Domzaki]

@Domzaki oh forgot to mention- i noticed that alot of people will say um, ah, or but before they say like so get the soap ready haha!

[angemala]

I'm afraid that there are just some parts of myself that I just don't like. When I look in the mirror, I think I'm fat, but I realise that I can change that through goal-setting. Small steps. Just laughing through life has helped a bit, asking when I need help. Being polite. I worry constantly, and I don't know how to stop! I think myself into tears sometimes. I set boundaries and am respectful towards others: no violence, less nagging, try to smile and be friendly.

[windcu]

I dig your chili Larry!!!

[kirkvq]

this really made alot of sense to me at this point and time.. thanks.

[sarangjogi]

this guy is amazing, keep up the great work man

[oursongtayswift]

i always hav had insecurities about my hair. theres not really anything wrong with it, but i never know how to do it and no one will give me a real oppinion on it. i always feel like i look ugly :( what do i do?

[elusivewizard]

Thank You!

[thesaint252]

Actually, what I asked was "What makes this guy think his opinion needs to be video'd"?

[kid4ever10]

you know what man you jsut made me want to tell every one who i am ... i put on this mask when im in school but when i egt home i know im a nerd i play on the computer for hours and when i go to school no one knows what i do or who i am

[browneyes1222]

Thanks Larry! I dig your chili and your handsome face.

[DetroitPC313]

how do you find who you really are?

[johnnycake020]

@DetroitPC313 Read "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.

[Tirmizee]

such a positive approach

[01thrilla]

Dude your a very positive person which is great man lovin the vids and topics  big shout out to you homes all the from london

[fractallove1]

he says being who you are. but if you are a dick and people dont like you and keep telling you that you are a dick then change it. on a light note don't care what people say. but on a heavy note if you never seem to hold a relationship and your told every relationshp your selfish, you probably are, self humilty held with self identity, leads to self humblness.

[Computerprohelper]

i love u man u made my confidence boost (NO HOMMO)

[hernandez152]

@Computerprohelper If you want to be more confidence you cannot worry about what other people think, even if they think that you are HOMMO becouse you comment. I know about a lot of HOMMO people that are very confidence and successful. Good luck and be yourself.

[num1ubernacht]

it can be good for you to feel pissed off too ?? every thing in moderation ya no but all in all glass half full is better

[BonkersBonnieRed]

Very true comments there.

[rphx12]

thats a good tip

[germxspider]

Wow! I'm really glad I happened upon this video. I haven't been myself lately and it's been eating away at my happiness. I've been trying to change myself to be what other people expect. It's draining. I feel like this video is going to help me be myself, and ultimately my best and most happy self.

Thank you! :)

[delnorth]

Yeah, Larry............you just made my day!! I have a strong personality...and you just made my day!!!!

[jercylll]

aaaw :)

5 stars.

[flaviusoad]

thanks , tanksa lot best of luck

[dathador]

Yea Larry ..I'm tht guy who types away!

[Hellcat915]

you look like a member of the arian brotherhood :D

[mig189189189]

If you've got a good credit card everything works !

[atormanen]

great video, man

[XenoPhobic321]

i tend to be red faced whenever i m near females

[atormanen]

@XenoPhobic321 girls tend to think thats cute, so dont worry about it bro ;)

[XenoPhobic321]

no i mean, dont they think that a ''guy is being red faced so he doesnt have any confidence and he isnt bold enough '' (just a query)

[atormanen]

hmm idk. i know its best to smile or laugh if your face gets red, since it relaxes your face muscles and people tend to get red when they smile anyways, girls tend to find that cute. but yeah, if you frown or have a straight face when you blush, you might look unconfident. so smile and relax

[XenoPhobic321]

thanks mate appreciate the tips

[atormanen]

haha np man

[kevinjohncasey]

good presentation

[DarkyBlue]

Thank you sir, and have a happy new year.

[youthman7]

Great advice!! thanks

[spazwarden2]

just put dildo inside your underwear. and wear skinny jeans and look up stand straight! no im just playing around!

when you start watching this kinds of tutorial you already had the confidence -_-

the final step is fear of rejection which is really hard to understand! so thats it lol

[paul4mac]

Thank you. This is great advice. So simple yet so true.

[Pleasedonthitmemore]

im an addict so i got2 act different

[seaofclay]

GOOD!!!

[jbichotte]

that talk hit the spot... thanks a lot man !

[RadikalDude186]

very honest....thanx!

[missmesmerized]

Thank You..... U r so rite.... why should act according to others expectations?

[lhochman]

Thank you everyone, for the great feedback. Updated version of this topic is at the new video: How To Be Confident And Attractive: Don't Look for Gurus: Look For You!

[aylinumber1]

@lhochman

Hello! I have some questions for you. Me, I am very unconfident and shy. And I have problems with my self. I have feeling of shame and feel like a crazy and at time like silly person. Now when I am feeling very confortable with someone is when I am my real self and I don't look too bad. But when I am around people that I dear, that I like, of course not family members is when I behave differently, a bit funny.

[aylinumber1]

@lhochman The reason I have this feeling of shame is because of my past experiences. Is like I get stuck to them and makes me behave funny, that way I did. Or thinking people have certain impression of me just holds me back. In other words being my self is not easy for me. I hope you understand what I am triying to explain. So what can I do? any mental exercises that will help me to rubb off my mind those bad experiences, of me being silly or crazy, that mess up my personality?

[aylinumber1]

@lhochman

Everytime I try to forget them. Those feeling of shame that are attached to those experiences get hold of me and make me put all my attention on to those experiences, which make me think of more and more experiences that to me are shamefull, either they really are or not and those feelings of shame, uncomfortable feeling in general grow in me and make me feel worst, and increases my unconfidence and shyness and messes up severly my personality and the way I approach things,

[aylinumber1]

@lhochman

I hope some good advice, thanks!

[dip2021]

thank you

[chups2mmuach]

well im not sure wht's wrong with me..

thy like me, and i always be my self..

but i feel lonely & feel so negative abt my self..

wht should i do?

[abooood95]

get off the computer (Not an insult)

and go out! interact with people! Be YOURSELF,

never try to be someone your not

AND remeber all compliments u recieved, and work on your weaknesses

you will get an amazing confedent boost when you achieve something you suck in!! =D

[SpartanCody]

@abooood95 lol he said suck...

[SupremeMystique2]

@abooood95 What if I have an introvert personality. I cant all of a sudden, choose to be someone im not by interacting with plp, right?

[Miikoong904]

@abooood95 Its hard to be yourself when your... focused too much on yourself... I think this makes sense now..

[DanLFC8]

@abooood95 your right about getting off the computer and interacting with people. I used to be quite confident person and wasnt afraid to open my mouth but now im completely different and thats because i got a playstation when i was younger and that was the thing what stopped me going out and meeting people. The playstation has changed me for the worse.

[CarolKuch]

das verstehe ich...

[BAMFcam]

thank you! i honestly felt you were in the room talking to me one on one. that is the simplest yet most helpful advice i've ever gotten :D

[Cooldaddy532000]

Thank you brotha', the bit where u said, "the right people will come", was enlightening

[mathias7777777777777]

This is an excellent video, thanks man!

[mathias7777777777777]

You need to find yourself first before you can be yourself. Sometimes there are hidden issues which block a person from being themselves. For example, guilt, fear or misunderstanding. Internal conflict changes how a person behaves. To be yourself, you must find yourself and address the internal conflicts. Check out this Vid

How to: Confidence and Relating to others By Mathias C Statham...Pt 1

[MistaRedSnappa]

i found this good and helpful.

Thank you this is great!

[teddy2410]

i just cant find someone like me XD

i am too different for most of the people

i like them and they like me but.. i feel alone.

my dad is just like me ^^

[ResistTU]

lol what the hell? well change you might like it?

[prettyprince567]

tell me about urself?? im just curious

[teddy2410]

im 17 years old live in germany and i am half japanese. maybe that is the reason why i feel sometimes alone. because of my different appereance

[YoungKoolness17]

i wanna seee u

[AngelOne11]

They call this ADHD

[onlyjoetee]

Actually this is just a good little message!Thank you Sir.

[liquidplastic62]

We are all just bags of energy and spirit. Some have nicer packaging. Some are kinda gross. So you get a kind of catwalk society where everyone is evaluating everyone else. Like, if you're not that great looking, but your girlfriend is attractive, there'll always be a prick at the bar who looks over as if to say "Hey babe, look at me. Am i not Gods gift? Dump the monster and lets make music". But he might come back in another life as a pigs bollock. What comes around goes around. Just chill.

[readnblog]

My friend, Taiana Camarado, from Australia authored BreakThrough The Barriers which helps you break through anything that holds you back. You come out more inspired... a winner. breakthroughthebarriers

[TrIpPyNoIsE]

that was surprisingly helpful.

:)

[PenelopeAndYou]

indeed :)

[ScarlettM457]

Oh my goodness. I needed this so bad because my confidence was at it's all time low for the past few weeks. thanks

[javi0880]

you have ADHD as well. :)))

[BlackHawkDown1989]

Kinda hard to do this when you have social anxiety lol

[moviewizmelonie]

just remember that NOBODY is better than you. and if someone acts like they are, or even if you start to feel a little inferior to them, you NEED to remind yourself that the things they do or have - you can do or have as well. and it's just as possible to do/have more than that person who seems "better" than you. so basically, all it takes is believing in yourself... as corny as it sounds, it's the truth. belief that you can have what everyone you look up to has, and even more.

[kingjamesfan23]

Thanks :) that little speech helped, i put myself down way to much :/, but i def aint going into that lol

[CarlCampbell]

@moviewizmelonie What you're suggesting makes sense in a way but I'm not sure if essentially turning it into a competition of who has more and who is more capable is the right way to go; it could just lead to a vicious cycle of insatisfaction. No matter what you DO or HAVE or how hard you try, there'll always be someone richer, handsomer, taller, more skilled, than yourself. I wish I had the proper answer but I'm still trying to figure out that party myself! I guess... Just do your thing =)

[busybeingbla]

@moviewizmelonie It's still difficult. :(

[KingDega1]

God, I know what you mean, I have aspergers syndrome which puts me at a social disadvantage.

[Asadullah21]

youre a good person for doing this. And the weird part about it is, I ABSUTELY TOOK YOURE ADVISE AND I FELT EXTREMELY CONFIDENT the rest of the day.

[Cooper1970]

I too am full of energy and find myself unable to sit still especially during long meetings at work. I shine when I am given the floor to present or share with the group (standing up). It's interesting because I admire those that seem to be calm and poised when communicating while sitting down in a group setting. It is a quality I wish to master someday, but to your point in the meantime I need to be myself. Thanks for your work and words of encouragement.

Randy-Chicago, IL

[crazyyessi55]

:( i loss my confidents :( i want to meet this guy,but im afarid.

[mnkynapnk22]

what a guidance councelor.i love it . you rock yeah mr hochman

[spike427]

Thank you so much man.. you have no idea how better that made me feel, honestly i'm at a point right now where i duno why, but i feel way to self concience and i feel like people are constantly judging me so i try to hide my self.. but stuff like this helps

thank you

[Lolipop4444444444]

Thanks for the advices !!

[lamrof]

"Be you?!" I am a shy underling. I don't want to be me. If I wanted to be me I wouldn't be scouring the net for advice to improve myself. Shishh!

I think the right answer is

1. Set a goal to what you want to be confident about.

2. implement actions that will take you to your goal.

3. Always learn from your mistakes.

4. Only competence will make you feel confident. Confidence is a feeling and it only comes from repeated success.

I am done.

[NZartfuldando]

So if you already knew how to be confident, why did you watch this video?

[Destructo070792]

confidence doesnt come from success, i dont succeed at anything but im still confident :P haha, its easy youve just gotta not care what other people are gonna think of you, just think your the only real person and everyone else is a drone :D

[lamrof]

You are not confident if you have no success behind you, what you are is an egotistical prick. I say this matter of factually. Its not an insult.

[Destructo070792]

how does saying im confident make me egotistic? i dont think im better than anyone in anyway... im just confident around people, and just because i disagreed with something you said it doesnt mean you have to call me a prick :0 lmao sorry if i came across as being a dick.

[spreadthelove101]

jesus is the way to all confidences and you will fill loved

jesus is king

[HipHop4LyfeSon]

i believe in buddhism more

[x3MandaPanda]

Having faith in yourself is really how you become confident. If believing in Jesus helps you believe in yourself, then good for you :).

[sammi11jo]

Hi Larry, thank you so much for the video. I think I need someone like you to kick me in the butt and force me to interact with people. It's this terrible cowardly screen that I need to get through and your simple lecture made it seem easier, at least for the day...

I totally agree with the "being your most authentic self" bit. For me, I physically have to be outside to feel naturally "me," which unfortunately is not an option most of the time. :(

[DDFEO]

im fat, ugly, have bad health in all aspects of health, and im usually depressed even tho i put on a fake smile and annoying laugh for my friends. i hate my friends and my family. i care for only one life and its not mine. think u can help that larry? try :) *fake smile*

[lhochman]

I don't know DDFEO. Can I help you? If you decide you're beyond help, then no, I wouldn't even try. If you are a willing partner, anything is possible, no matter how bad off you are right now.

[foreverunhappy]

@DDFEO i know who u feel. im pretty overweight myself. i dont like going to stores anymore becuase i see all these pretty faces and skinny bodies. i hate clothes now cause now im a size 9 :/ but somethimes i feel great thenn in a second i feel horrible.

[atskimar]

Stop saying lies to yourself. God/Jesus didn't think about you that way when he made you. The deable is putting stuff in your mind that is JUST NOT TRUE. He wants you death spiritually and physically. Don't let him. He is nobody to tell you who you are. Trust God! You are his.

[iowahawk99]

ehhh.. i have alot of issues in my life.. like rough skin, yellow teeth, not very skinny, Smelly feet etc etc... and im trying to fix them.. Ive been off of pop for about 8 weeks and feel great. but i want to feel Happier inside.. got any ideas or suggestions?

[XxSlOrNxX]

i feel the same way wildbloodydragon

[wildbloodydragon]

What if you're a little too dark inside? If I was to be who I am, I would not only look ridiculous, I'd scare the few friends I have away.

Yes I have been trying to develop my outer to be like my inner, but I can never reveal everything. There are so many things that people won't like that I don't want to take the risk.

Now that aside, a person who can't be confident, certainly won't know how to be himself either. I get your message, but you need a much more influential and powerful one.

[lhochman]

I think if you who you REALLY are, you will find the right people responding. Perhaps who you are is covered by doubt and insecurity.

You aren't dark inside. You are light and love.

Either way...thanks. Now I have a topic for a new video!

[wildbloodydragon]

I'm light and love? How do you know? Oh wait, everyone by default must be just like you. And since you're the center of the universe, why should you bother thinking beyond yourself? Right?

Of course I'm covered with doubt and insecurity, that's the very definition of unconfidence. Basically you're telling me to just make it go away by itself.

And here's something else that comes to mind. Logically, confidence equals bravery. Now tell me how you can be brave if your true self is a coward?

[lhochman]

Not sure what you're looking for, but you are arguing for your limitations. That's not an argument I'm going to be a part of.

Hoping you find peace, my friend.

Larry

[wildbloodydragon]

I was thinking about your video tonight. I figured, maybe you mean "be your ideal self" rather than just "yourself". Am I right? That's makes more sense to me.

I'm sorry dude, hope you're not offended. That's me being myself. WBD the crazy guy. I really gotta ease up a little. I wish someday I will find the love and peace that you're talking about. I just hope.

You're actually rather openminded and tolerant. I like that.

[lhochman]

Not the least bit offended, WBD. Not sure about the semantics of all of this. We all have behaviors we'd like to change. At your core, you're a great person, simply by virtue of showing up. :)

And in your case, I dig your spirit. You may have all this dark energy you're talking about. But there's a lot of positivity right behind. I call 'em as I see 'em!

[wildbloodydragon]

Well yeah I guess everyone can develop certain characteristics in themselves...and of course we have different characteristics that we can represent.

Must be the hormones. My problem is, I need to cool myself down all the time. If I let out the rage I see the side of myself that I don't like.

Simply put, I feel like I need to work on my character a lot. I hope now you understand why I say that telling me to "be myself" doesn't really help.

[GIA13615093]

we all want the love and peace...

i'm hoping for the same things...

help me!

[raphaelblue]

This is going right into my "inspiring" playlist! THANK YOU LARRY!!! This is gooood!

[distancerunner]

Good man

[mp3stream]

this is the first video i have watched of yours, and it has made me so calm and relaxed. you are a very good speaker. i think everyone needs to hear that message every once in a while. thanks! :)

[guitarchick615k]

that makes great sence, and is very well said. :) thank you

[zakmico]

ur the biggest chutiya i have ever seen lolx