Added: 4 years ago
From: RileyELFuk
Views: 111,406
Sort by time | Sort by thread (beta)

Link to this comment:

Share to:
see all

All Comments (387)

Sign In or Sign Up now to post a comment!
  • one dick is worth a thousand potatoes", fucking hilarios

  • great set, great camra work, and i love the building. it all impressed me so much that i spent 20 seconds of my life telling everyone.

  • wow, 9 hour work days and lunch breaks? Immigrants in the US don't get anywhere close to those conditions.

  • @bluebettle They're european union immigrants, its more like people going from alabama to california, than people going from mexico to the US. If you go to some inner city london slums you'll see some nigerian/afghan immigrants working for shit.

  • @DefconBravo Oh, right, the world's shitty and unfair all around. I don't know why I'd think it was any other way.

  • Eastern European women are crazy hot when they're young, but they hit that wall even harder than Asian women when menopause comes.

  • European girls are a different kind of hot. the kind of hot I actually like.

  • As a totally straight, red-blooded American male... I would still blow Doug.

  • @banacek8675

    Okay, lets see YOUR amazing videos then, Lets how how insightful, entertaining and rational you are! =)

  • Stanhope should come to Romania...

  • @Webzlinger Yeah, we are the best audience in the world

  • aw that was waaay too short

  • not too many hot Indian women from the Mexican/Guatemalan jungle countryside

  • He isn't fucking around. Those Polish chicks were FIIIIINE and they're freaking Potato Workers. Potato workers in the states probably have appearances that make you want to dig out your eyes with nail clippers and feast on them.

  • @thebiggestfgfan Roughly 70 to 80% of all eastern European women look like that.

  • @thebiggestfgfan Yeah, I see a lot of Eastern European girls about in my part of England (I personally don't have a problem with immigrants), and they are usually stupidly hot, like they work at KFC or they clean public toilets but they're like supermodels.  He's a bit cheeky saying we dont have hot native women though. I can assure you that's not true.

  • I fucking adore you, Stanhope--Bingo's lucky.

  • What the fuck are you all goin on about!!, I see on here everyday folk slagging each other off and calling folk black and blue, Is this all you care about you idiots, 'getting one over on the other person??,

    Jesus, Just chat, and converse. Stop trying to insult each other.

  • @Pikesterful Insults are fun.

  • @GnosticAtheist mmmmme

    

  • @GnosticAtheist - Insults are easy, they dont need much in the way of a brain nor intelligence. I posted my original comment over 2 months ago by the way, so i dont really remember the context with which i wrote it, so nothing you say about this will make any sense to me as my attention has moved on.

  • @FunnyJoe100 on behalf of most people here.....fuck off

  • @FunnyJoe100 ye that's right build a wall and seal yourself ... great idea... stupid.

  • @ScotlandMaleGlasgow I sorta grew up listening to this man, I'm 22 now but first heard him when i was like 16, Same deal with hicks, pyror, carlin.

  • @skiie Fucking round of applause.

  • @FunnyJoe100 Either you are an inexpert troll or not very bright. Maybe both.

  • XD

  • The part from 5:16-5:60 couldnt be more true...

    My respect to this guy right here, he knows what going down.

  • Doug Stanhope+Mudhoney=Fuckin' a

  • I vote Doug Stanhope for President of the world.

  • @InfoGuerilla I'll second that motion

  • @InfoGuerilla I think that's the last thing he would want XD

  • that one chick was hot, i'm moving to poland

  • No, but I meant exactly that joke... with the guy telling of his death experience on family reunions like Thanksgiving... and I didn't meant Charlie Brooker... I meant Stanhope himself.

    But yeah. Hicks is legend. The gray-tubesoke-joke is a great example!

    Lenny,too, was legend.

  • Ah noh... it was on Charlie Brooker's newswipe!

    Brilliant show by the way...

  • the joke he is telling around 5:00...

    I heard that somewhere already...

    Calrin?

  • @AirForceJuan3 Stanhope has had variations of that theme for years. It's not unlikely other underground comedians in this Lenny Bruce Tradition have run across it also. It's kind of the theme they all work around. People are self-important goofs, they point out how mediocre we are. Hicks was famous for that.

  • @AirForceJuan3

    It was in one of his other dvd's. I think it was deadbeat hero.

  • How much sense he makes. No big book of facts or figures, no fear mongering, no fancy speeches, no side stepping issues, just simple logic and reason which everyone has and could use if they wern't so distracted. It really is that simple when you break it down and cut all the bullshit away. How does much of anything that goes on today affect your life and your day personally? It probably doesn't at all.

  • I would like to high five this guy... thats kinda "sad" but he is my current idol ... well idiol who is still alive.. Carlin and Hicks are gone... good he is still breathng

  • anyone who counts and checks potatoes for a living deserves to count and check potatoes for a living. If I was in that factory, I'd organize a nice little riot with a little touch of gasoline and a matchstick.

    don't we have the technological ability to make machines for jobs like that???

  • @drodude301

    Yeah I guess we do, but who would buy and then own these machines, not the poor bastards that once worked in the factory. Then they'll just invent some other shitty job for the former workers to do. Even checkout workers in supermarkets are becoming obsolete with the advent of those fucking annoying self-checkout machines. Labour + Raw Material + Machinery = Product + Profit, that's a pretty depression equation, but fuck soon they won't even need the labour, what then? soylent green

  • when was this on?

  • well that end made me somewhat sad :( i will spend all night procrastinating about thinking about making a change in my life then wake up in the morning and realize that its not going to happen. just like every other night.

  • The potato picker girl at 1:25 - holy shit. Stunning. The one at the front's nice too. Polish girls are gorgeous.

  • End the income tax and base it on the amount you spend and you will no longer need immigration laws and you WILL have more money in your pocket, also the income tax was made to pay on the debt on the bankruptcy that magically happens were ever centeral banks pop up and in america it took all of 2 decades for a nation that survived for over a 13 and started out with a 3-4 counterfit bills for every 1 that was real.

  • there are 2 sides to the coin, more immigrants means they take jobs, but they still have to consume so much food,water,clothing and such which creates more jobs. but with an income tax immigrats actually matters and illigals can actually make the same amount for far less for the employer.

  • Svine flu etc =P

  • a dick is worth a thousand potatoes . . .

  • I find it offensive that people are offended by Doug Stanhope. I think there should be a law preventing people from getting offended; and if they do, they should send them to jail, so that I'm not offended any more by them being offended by Stanhope.

    Also, may I suggest going into jail business or at least investing in it. That shit has future!

  • 2:00 haha oh god that was so harsh. "If you look *back* there are all beautiful women." I felt so sad for the woman next to Doug.

  • Those girls were fucking hot.

  • what kind of sick bastard posts the in play list out of order

  • The people who complain about immigrants (the majority of whom come from conditions far worse than the people who complain about them) "stealing" low-paying, menial jobs, are a bit like dogs fighting for scraps from the masters table. Because they completely ignore the fact that their "masters", the 5% of the worlds population the owns 95% of the wealth, are the ones who are exploiting them. And that instead of fighting it out for the scraps, they should be questioning the system that...

  • @corskie1111 ...supports this inequality.

    Btw Doug is the fuckn man

  • blow up my moped I laughed so fucking hard

  • One of the world's last great rationalists.

  • good shit!

  • i gota go listen to sum mudhoney now

  • Thank fuck for people who tell it like it is.

  • what was that song playing? sounded sick

  • the song is by a band callaed Mudhoney "Touch me i'm sick" from the album Superfuzzbigmuff.

  • great album too

  • god damnit, they could be making tons in tips with the right tight black skirt. Silly girls, work the potato mills AFTER you get old and ugly, NOT BEFORE

  • "One dick is worth a thousand potatoes!!!" lmao

  • stanhope kicks ass

  • "spot check dirt apples"

  • Genius

  • There's some real brilliance amidst his drunken trailing off. He's right about immigration; the process of the evolution of the human race is encompassed by different races interbreeding with other races, not amongst themselves. Just look at the breeding process in the southern states of the U.S. for a proof to this theory. We should shun racist fucks and discriminatory assholes for being the close-minded, anit-evolutionists that they are, rather than being angry at folks for their nationality.

  • what i loves the most about europe is that this is on regular television there....

  • I feel this guy. I don't mean that in the stupid hip-hop 'feel ya' bullshit way. I FEEL him. when he talks it resonates... he's so spot on.

  • HOT

  • Comment removed

  • @GSYBE631 If your gonna quote George Carlin at least give him credit for it so people who aint seen him can check him out. plagerism is just theft.

  • @babyshamb1 Good point. Updated comment posted.

  • Slavic people are hard workers.

  • Genius xD

  • why u counting potatoes? suck a dick....

  • chicks are hot, final.

  • Yeah. And if you find an attractive woman that has work ethic, you marry her immediately.

  • ha ha, yeah we Scots are the most dour cunts on the planet.

  • "one Dick is worth a thousand potatoes..." Wow, That makes perfect sense.

  • 4:17 is very true. one of the only memorable things that i can remember is some guy stabbing his mother and ex-girlfriend to death in the 2nd floor of my father's apartment. that was cool.

  • Sanhope is the truth.

  • bill was king but doug is no rip off merchant. a true comedic commentator. OUTSTANDING DOUG

  • I guess we know where to go to get a girlfriend

  • Yes! Doug Stanhope understands that the presidency of the United States as it exists today is a bad joke. That's why he would make a good president.

  • Dig what Doug has to say? Understand that he would make a much better U.S. president than any of the anti-freedom establishment politicians? Please take a moment and go to PetitionSpot(DOT)com/petitions /stanhope2012/ and sign the petition urging him to run!

  • There's a difference between a person who tells jokes for a living and the president of the united states. One of them is the joke.

  • Well put. I may end up quoting that in the future. :D

  • why does he have no influence in the world while presidents and popes are raping it? stanhope for king!

  • I love him. I want to suck his cock.

  • Goddamn !!! I need to start a potato farm.

  • this guy is hell funny!

  • suck a dick Carlos manstealia or Dane coocksmoker. This is a real comedian.

  • @skiie carlos is shit, but dane cook does a rotating 2.5 hour set, i'd say hat he's pretty talented aswell, although not on the level of Stanhope or Prior

  • @Zootmaster I have seen 20 minutes of Dane Cook, and I smiled once. ONCE. And he is supposed to be a comedian. I dont even remember why I smiled. It might be because I realized the video was near its end, or because my demand for wit was so low at the end even a joke about ... uh... I dont even know what he jokes about. I dont remember and I am certainly not going to check.

  • @GnosticAtheist just because you didn't find his comedy funny doesn't mean he isn't doing for the most part original material and drawing stadium sized crowds. He is a solid comic just as larry the cable guy is a solid comic, while their subject matter may not interest me like stanhope/hicks, you can't deny the numbers.

    also a 2.5 hour set with constantly changing material is pretty damn difficult to do if you know anything about the difficulties of standup.

  • @skiie Dane Cook is great at what he does. Sick of people shitting on him.

  • @ShawnyMartin yeah dane cook is great at sucking at comedy

  • @ShawnyMartin Very true. Dane Cook is a master at playing on stereotypes, common memes and lower intelligence. He is a true hero of the common man. I for one love how that man keeps the lesser breeds entertained and in most cases away from me, but here you are..

  • @GnosticAtheist who the fuck are you to call any person a "lesser breed", go suck a nazi dick you sick fuck.

  • @GnosticAtheist Meh, he worked incredibly hard doing standup every night and didn't really start making money until his 30's. His material is broad and pandering but that's probably the shit he finds funny in real life anyway.

  • @skiie Forget them.. They'll pander on in their meaningless careers to their old age where they'll realize that all they did was ride the mediocrity wave, instead of being unique and struggling through the shit swamp that is the 'entertainment business', as-we-speak, to earn that feeling of satisfaction after reflecting on your accomplishments, then we will all die.

  • i'm from poland and i think thats halerious :D

  • He is the best!

    Anyone who doesnt like him...need a reality check....or spell check...I dont know...any way, thanks for posting this!

    It keeps me going in my shitty job!

    M

    PS: post some more!! If you havent already!

  • if your job is shitty you havent heard his albums, right ;)

  • haha the chicks were fuckin HOT

  • Stanhope is simply awesome.

  • I think the dick to potato ratio is way of. Those chicks could make a million dollars a year just working in porn.

  • brutus301 : Or maybe you're an ASSHOLE who can't spell...

  • Those chicks were hot. I would get a job looking for shitty taters if the chicks were hot

  • lol

  • Anyone who critiques spelling on you toooooob is a soft headed tit

  • No one has to critique spelling on youtube... The spell check does it for you, we are only pointing the fact you are a fucking idiot!

  • I believe that not knowing how to spell would make YOU the soft-headed tit. You ARE entitled to your opinion, now shut the hell up and let the grownups talk, ok?

  • suck a dick... a dick is better than 100000 potatoes... maybe not!

    "there's a lot of history but i dont see a lot of future"...suck a dick!

  • Cant believe i accidentally come across this guy i never knew about him he should be known everywhere.

  • And think of all the cunt-faced celebrities who contribute NOTHING OF VALUE to society that are household names, yet people like Doug are unknown to billions. Doug's right, people pick easy targets to hate, people whom they think are having a negative impact upon their trivial, clock-punching lives, yet the real people who fuck them in the ass with a big John Holmes dick wrapped in barbed wire, ie. politicians, bankers, advertisers, health executives, they NEVER get a dose of that violence.

  • talk among yourselves...

  • Comment below directed to KhemicalKastration

    Way to generalize a whole country based on stereotypes. That's what rednecks with no education do. Your starting to sound like a hypocrite.

  • This coming from someone who can't spell "fucker" correctly.

  • Don't forget "Your"

  • life is bullshit. ur born, u suffer, u die.

  • around 4:17 very profound

  • Lasr bit in the show is inteligent, funny. Great stuff

  • "there's a lot of history here, but i don't see a lot of future"... and the people laugh...

  • i think this guy is ridiculously underrated.

  • Agree'd. Enjoy a thousand thumbs-up. Doug Stanhope is the modern Carlin and Bill Hicks, more so now that both are sadly dead.

    And for whatever reason, I've looked up a lot of fmaous eastern Europen women (such as Ewa Sonnet, ect) , and yes, they ARE ridiculously fuckin' hot. Czech girls, Polish, Ukraine, ect--to my Western North American eyes, I've never seen such hot women.

    If ONLY our immigrants who act in much the same way were as hot. *sobs*

  • "One dick is worth a thousand potatoes" ROFL

  • That's what I call a fuckin' show.

  • "Food for rednecks.." "Obnoxious dumb racist." Tom might as well be a racist fuck, open your eyes and see what Doug is saying here and lose your fucking dead end piece of shit job you wake up to and will wake up to for the next 45 years for a 2 dollar raise.

    Fuck you, and if you're what represents america, fuck america too. ( RIP Bill Hicks )

  • Way to generalize a whole country based on stereotypes. That's what rednecks with no education do. Your starting to sound like a hypocrite.

  • this coming from someone who spells chemical and castration with a K

  • you just too any credibility away from the earlier part of the sentence not because Americans are dumb but because you bought nationality in to your argument

  • blubazbot

    "guys a genius and we brits who moan about people taking our (shit) jobs should shut the fuck up and learn...from a yank!"

    haha you did just watch and understand what Doug was trying to say right.... how can you say we should shut the fuck up and learn as in don't give immigrants and foreign folk so much shit and then end that sentence with "from a yank"

  • if there was a protest for lifting the smoking ban i would go

  • that was well funny , whats that tom123ek d i ck goin on about just ignore him?!?!

  • i enjoy gettin naked grabin 2 unopened lindsay lohan CDs(cuz who'd open that crap...seriously)then i start rubbing them all over my chest and nipples while doin the robot to MCHammers "cant touch this" and to relax after all that i grab a crockpot fill it with tabasco sauce and slowly dunk my nuts in and out...i poop on farm animals....duuuuuude.....where­s my cat?...DAMN YOU TOM CRUISE!...he strikes again...but for the last time...xenus goin down!...Mr.Creepy smile!..polar bears are racist durrr

  • Hey tom123ek, you are the one who is ignorant. You don't seem to be willing to try to understand what it is that Doug Stanhope is really trying to say.

    Doug Stanhope = Legend

  • dont watch it if u find it offensive

  • ? he didnt say anything offensive towards immegrants.

  • Tom, shut the fuck up and stop posting

  • Come on Jason, have a heart. We're his only friends.

  • RileyELFuk : "Come on Jason, have a heart. We're his only friends." LMAO

    Good comment

  • since when did sexual content become offensive, ever? Sex is only the ejaculation of the penis. whether its an animal a woman or another guy. Its not that great either but they make you think its your purpose to live by media brainwashing. the only reason people feel shame to it is because of how important they think it is when its anything but. society creates enemies for itself in its own LANGUAGE! proving christian morals are non existant.

  • "One dick is worth a thousand potatoes"

    lmao

  • a jerk

  • Tom, sweetie, the word you're looking for is "obnoxious". Although you're wrong.

  • Well done Tom, you've learnt how to spell a new word. Now, you've been asked before, but I'll try again: what, SPECIFICALLY, does Doug say that could be construed as racist?

  • Mais bien sur: je parle Français couramment.

    Ich spreche auch Deutsches. Und sie?

    Anyway, to get back to my point, in what way is Stanhope offensive?

  • By the way, I couldn't help noticing that among your favourite clips is footage of two naked teenage boys kissing: aren't you a little old to be turned on by that sort of thing?

  • LOL! Maybe you're on to something Dom. Maybe our Tom was the Polish guy in the clip and he's just upset that no-one ever suggested that he could make a decent living sucking dicks. Certainly it may prevent him talking quite so much shit. Previously I'd suspected he was just annoyed because in his experience Polish girls didn't

  • "Our Tom" - y'know, I AM becoming kinda fond of the rabid old fruit. Maybe we could start a fanclub?

  • the girl at 1:26 is VERY Pretty

  • Okay, Tom, I know this isn't going to work, but I just had to try and explain this to you...

    Doug Stanhope, in this programme, is defending Polish Immigrants and attacking and making fun of British Racists.

    Doug Stanhope is on your side.

    I think you have profoundly misunderstood what he is saying here, you seem fairly fluent in English but your grasp of comedy seems to be failing here.

    Please, tell me a specific joke that you think is racist in this programme and why, I'll gladly explain it.

  • So true. Doug is by many means a hardcore comedian. But, unlike tom123ek retard, anyone who is willing to listen him for a moment and is not a chromosome away from potato understands his message behind his brilliant and provocative comedy.

  • The suck a dick joke is crude, I'll admit that, but what he means by it is this. He was amazed by how beautiful the girls were. He thinks they could earn money much more easily than working for slave wages in a patato plant. She could be a model or something. In his eyes, even prostitution is better than the job she is doing. It has about the same level of standing socially, pays better and is easier work. It's a flippant comment, a throw away line. He isn't seriously suggesting it.