The worst thing that happened to me was a girl who had a crush on me came to me and told how she feels and i stood there saying nothing with a blank face and she never talked to me again. I loved her btw
Good video, I have it and just recently figured it out...so its really good to know theres a name for it other than "shyness", cuz when someone says you're shy it makes you feel like you can help it, but you actually can't and it gets really frustrating. I have a video about it too on my channel!
(continued) Why do people always try to misdiagnose kids my child was 5yrs old and diagnosed with ADHD and a learning disability. But God is a good God he is 12yrs old not on medication and on the HONOR ROLL!!!!! So proud. My mom was diagnosed with scitso and bipolar prayed meds got her so messed up 15yrs later she was misdiagnosed it was only depression which my dad caused her. If you believe in GOD he will heal you. Be positive and God Bless!!!
I stopped speaking when I was in Kindergarden I got punished and put on time out for speaking so I became traumatized up until 8th grade I would only speak to people I knew. I am 30yrs old had no past treatment and talk alot lol... The crazy thing is that my child in prek is going through the same but God is so good I went to the Dr's today and it was like God wrote the letter he is not selective mute he only chooses to speak to who ever he wants I kept him in prayer and he is fine.
@sarcasticwhiteboard mountains of data supports pricey therapists as do 'labels' - as does lengthy therapy that never EVER cures anything. Hormones and neurological problems cause a person to panic or become hysterical creating false beliefs that perpetuate when the 'fight or flight' or 'startle' response is triggered. Learn about the physical causes of 'mental health' /anxiety/ habits and sack the shrink
@jonessmithGB I am well aware of the 'flight or fight' response and the biochemical aspects of psychiatric disorders. That's actually why I used the term 'psychiatric' as opposed to 'psychological', bb. I haven't seen a therapist in years, but thank you for your unsolicited advice.
I hate it so much, I m 17 and still having SM. When I was younger they just said I m shy, in the elementary school,too. In the "Gymnasium" (I m German) there was one teacher knowing what my problem is and so I finally made a therapy, but it goes very slow because there where many events, who influenced my development. For example my parents got divorced, because I did not speak to my father, or my best, and only, friend killed himself.
suffer from selective mutism i dont talk to anyone ever. ive not spoken a word to anyone in 3 years im 13 now and im fustrated. i really want to speak, im desperate. but its just too hard i talk to people online, but thats the only way i communicate with friends.
Are you looking for another way to communicate with people? Or help to start speaking? Are you seeing a therapist/psychologist/counselor/etc.? I found that using a dry erase board made it easier to communicate w/ friends, teachers, new acquaintances, etc. I'm probably the wrong person to ask for advice on speaking - I couldn't speak to people outside my immediate family for about 14 years.
Well i text stuff down on my mobile phone then show it to people. But only friends and family. And at school i dont get anything to communicate with. The teacher would just take my phone off me. I see a person at school, she helps people with language and reading problems etc. But she doesnt really do much with me. But my parents are trying to get professionals to help me.
do you have a 504 plan? That should help w/ classes and the way that teachers treat you. They should allow you some way to communicate w/ them and other students (clipboard & paper, dry erase board, etc.). Do your parents meet with your teachers? If you don't already have a 504 plan, they should look into it and meet with your teachers to make sure you're able to do your best in class. I hope your parents advocate for you as well as my mom did for me.
i dont know what a 504 plan is. And my parents dont meet up with teachers from school. My mum attends meetings about once a month but i dont know what happens and who else attends it.
Ah! Sorry, I just checked and see you live in the U.K. I'm not sure what the equivalent there would be, but I can look into it.
It seems as though SEN may be a lot like the 504 the U.S. - it's for students with disabilities, although I'm not sure what age range it covers. I'll double check with my mom and a friend of mine. I'll send you a link to the site in a PM.
:( I hate that SM is still so misunderstood/unheard of. I'm proud of you for overcoming, it. Especially after struggling with it for so long [w/o a diagnosis to boot!]. It is very hard.
SM is unknown, specially in France. This is unacceptable when we know that there is about 7 kids on 1000 who suffer SM in France.
And if you search "mutisme sélectif" (french for selective mustism) on youtube, you don't get anything. So, this is great you made this video. I hope maximum of people will watch it.
If you want something to translate, you can use any of my videos. That's Elemarth or Helyna8. Or you can make your own, of course. I understand French, so I'll watch it.
I have had SM most of all my life, and now im 17. In year 4 to year 6 i was speaking and had lots of friends because i started speaking but to be fair i was on medication. But my parents decided to take me to a different school to all my friends which was a really bad idea as my SM has kicked back in.
I'm sorry :( The same thing happened to me when I switched schools after preschool. I had begun speaking towards the end, but went to a new school for Kindergarten and couldn't speak again.
I am doing a report on selective mutism for my physiology class. Not many people in my class know about selective mutism, so I was wondering if I could show your video on your struggle.
i had selective mutism from ages 3 till 11 it was awful so i really do feel for you, alot of my friends still dont believe me to this day that there is an after effect with me, i cannot present to a class well and i shake and have a panic attack ,they think its for attention its awful. I feel for u x
Thank you. A lot of people think once you can speak, you're "over" it, but you're right, there is an "after effect" (good phrase!) It's kind of frustrating. At times I feel like my anxiety's only shifted and presents itself in other ways now.
Anxiety disorders run on my mother side. I have debilitating social phobia. And now my 12yr old nephew who practically doesn't speak in school nor to anyone else besides his parents and brother was diagnosed with SM. Just last week one of his teachers flunked him for not ever having recited in class and even announced everyone's grades over the PA system. We think she was trying to humiliate the child and his parents. Is "heartless" too cruel an adjective?
"Heartless" is dead on. That's terrible. I didn't think teachers did that sort of thing anymore, and it hurts me to hear that they do. Does your nephew have a 504 plan? She shouldn't be able to flunk him for those reasons. I hope his parents talk to the school and get it all straightened out.
i have sm- had it all my life- it got better but now its proving to be making everything really difficult. it scares me- its like there is nothing i can do. no one likes me because they think i am rude...i cant help it- i just want to shout at them for the stuff they say but i wont respond,i cant respond. im 16 and people think im a freak, i sometimes wonder myself if i am.
u r not a freak! my son has sm he is 16 he was diagnosed when he was 6 he has come a long way though and i know you will to! i know how u feel about the freak thing i get so angry when ppl would ask what's wrong with your kid why wont he talk i actually got into a fist fight b4 with a woman i wish i could take this disorder away, i feel paralized myself because i cant help all who are afflicted with it! i love you all with sm and will pray that is all i have to offer
I know what you mean, people call me ignorant because I don't speak to them. At first I could say a few sentences, but now it's hard to just say one word.
And you're not a freak! Though I know how you feel.
You're not a freak. I've felt the same way a lot, especially in high school. It's rough, but you must remember that there are many other people out there struggling with SM too. You're not alone. Learning that really helped me to not beat up on myself so much.
I think my daughter has it. She spent the whole day standing next to her teacher's desk with the teacher waiting for her to answer a question. She is in kindergarten. The school phsych. councelor told us about it and we are having her tested. I am crying for her for all the times she got in trouble for being defiant and now we find out she was simply scared. I am glad we are finding out about this now when she is 5 and can do something about it.
Thank you for making this video. You are so strong to have made this for your English class. Ive seen a social worker with my daughter (3) who indicated a general social anxiety. The sessions helped there are other issues and am now convinced she has SM. I see how articulate and vivavious she is at home and how frozen she is everywhere else. I am going to get some help for her as soon as possible. Thank you I now know she is not being rude or defiant. Good luck with it all :)
Selective mutism can be treated with anti-anxiety medication. The results can be astonishing. I encourage you to see a doctor who specializes in anxiety disorders.
I know, and some psychiatrists also use SSRIs as well. My mother was always adamantly against psychiatric meds for kids, so I only had various forms of therapy. I managed to overcome my SM without the use of medication (albeit at a pretty high cost - 15+ years living with SM and I've also developed other anxiety disorders).
Take no notice of those people who are making fun of you, they are not worth it, us people with the condition selective mutism are special, we are not rude, we are just different. Stay strong x
I Have had selective mutism for Eighteen years and i was not diagnosed till i was seventeen everyone just said i was stupid, a retard, to stupid to talk just plain old mute and so many more names and almost every kid i met asked me can you talk and always said say something retard. my childhood was ripped away from me because i couldn't do anything the other kids were doing because it was paralyzing to even move half the time. i have selective mutism and this is who i am
I'm so sorry you were treated like that growing up. I only hope that in sharing our stories, we can help better educate and inform others so no one else has to go through things like that again. SM is much too misunderstood, even today.
I just found out about S.M today and I think I have it. I'm suprised how little people know about it...at my school the teachers think I'm just rude, and the rest of the class just think I want attention, or I'm just weird. :/
Nice to know there's other people who know how I feel.
this is what i feel all along as well.i just realise that my SM never gone.i got talk now but only to a few peoples.i still can't be like normal peoples.
Sometimes I feel as though no matter how much I talk, I'll never be "normal". I'm beginning to accept that (not sure if that's 'good' or 'bad'). It seems it will always be a part of me.
i had selective mutism from being 3 to 11 im now 14, it was hard growing up as people just thought i was stubborn, and wanted attention.
I still get the side affects and nobody understands, people still say...why didnt you speak....now you tell me....what am i meant to say to that? ....i started a book....its called silent words... :) but im not sure what to write...any ideas? :) xxxxxxxxxx
I wish I could help you with your book. I've been struggling with the same thing - putting those feelings connected to selective mutism into words. I don't know what to write or how to explain how it feels to not be able to speak because of anxiety/fear. If you make some headway, please let me know and I'll do the same. :)
@craggy08 I would suggest you to write about how it feels to have selective mutism. Write what you want the public to know. Write your heart out so that people can understand as much as possible. I hope your book is successful. I don't think there are many books on selective mutism currently. Good luck!
im suffering from selective mustism to it started when i was 3 and now im 16 im from ireland!!
i have a few friends which i talk to nd i talk to most people which is good!
but i just wish i could make more friends nd just talk loud to people:( nd i neverrr ever talk in school:(:( and i just want 2 be myslef:( i hateeeee having thisss no1 understands what i have:( and hardly no people knows about this!! few people hav sed to me your sooo quite grrrr i h8 ittt:(:(I WISH I COULD OVERCOME THIS FEAR
im 17 and i talk to most people too..if not all i dnt have fear of crowded places ..either i already feel as if im kinda overcoming this hell hole..i hate sm..why are our brains wired like this...social anxiety is true hell for anyone to live through :(
Had this from age 3 it started to fade away when I reached 15, now its almost gone but I still suffer from some of the problems like sometimes I have to constantly remind myself to say thanks. I think now I just have social anxiety which is still bad but not nearly as bad as SM. Lots of people gave me crap back when I was small, When I see these people they ask me "Do you talk now?!" I feel like telling them to get fucked but I obviously can't since their family friends :P
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
Psychiatrists could breed thus type of response during forced or coerced treatment.
I have seen psychiatrists discuss giving sodium penathol (commonly called "truth serum" ) to someone (who DOES speak at times) who is undergoing forced treatment!
A friend once told me about his brother who was arrested, held, and beaten by police in California in the 1990s just BECAUSE he would not talk to them. Nowadays they might also taser him.
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
I have observed this misdiagnosis being made by psychiatrists.
Let us remember, right of free expression includes the right NOT to speak. We all have a right of silence.
If someone chooses not to speak it doesn't mean they have a 'psychiatric disorder.'
We shouldn't get in the habit of judging another's unspoken thoughts.
Sometimes when someone suffers mental & emotional abuse, or is assaulted emotionally or physically, their safe zone is guarding and controlling when they speak.
I find your comment a little offensive. I did NOT choose not to speak at all. It's painful to be so afraid you cannot get your words out, and what was more painful was people who told me I was choosing to not speak. I can agree that silence can be a very good thing, and that it's okay not to speak, but I don't think it's right for you to imply that my silence stemmed from a choice or a reaction to abuse. It did not. That is yet another misconception around selective mutism.
Thank you so much for making this! I was diagnosed with Selective Mutism when I was 7. I'm 27 now. I have grown in leaps and bounds and most people would have no idea that I still suffer from a lot of the same feelings. You're right, we were not CHOOSING not to speak. It just didn't come out. It was a paralyzing fear that I still can't explain to this day.
I suffered in selecive mutism, too.... all my childhood... still until young adult age... and even now sometimes... but it's much better than still 2-3 years ago...
I suffered in selecive mutismu, too.... all my childhood... still untilyoung adult age... and even now sometimes... but it's much better than still 2-3 years ago...
I definately have this...I am silent unlass at home.I know what its like.I hate the way people treat me too.I am 14, i didnt always have SM but for the last few years I have had it.
"They said it was because I was stubborn and wanted attention". Yeah. they said that to me too. Raar to them! It's rather the opposite though.
I really don't get that though. Saying it's attention seeking. It's the total opposite. And you can't seriously believe that a 5 y/old would think in depth enough work out how it could give attention.
Anyway. They didn't say that until I was older though.
I just learned about this disorder tonight on TV. The reason I'm posting is I was in love with a girl at my gym for years and I am pretty sure she had this disorder.
She'd give me the eye from the other side of the room and whenever I tried to make friends with her she'd just stare into space. There'd be no expression on her face and her answers were always grunts or short disinterested answers.
(Sorry I have to do this in 3 parts because of the limit)
In all the years she went to that gym I only ever noticed her making two friends and they didn't last long. Her parents also went to the same gym and while her mother was friendly, her father behaved in similar ways to his daughter.
After trying for years to get to know her I became convinced that she was trying to manipulate me and I got mad as hell (my pride was hurt) and avoided her from then on.
Now I know it wasn't arrogance or mind games on her part. I am certain she is a selective mutism sufferer. If I had known what was going on inside her head, things would have been different.
So people if you have selective mutism and some one really likes you, please find a way to let them know.
I already commented this video, but i had to watch it again. and that thing u said
"theres a world of difference between refusal and failure". that basically sums up my life. i hate it when people think i dont talk cause i dont WANT to talk. in reality i would have given anything to talk like a normal kid.
my new favorite quote. did u make it up? i love it.
i deal with this and im 11. i HATE it ppl treat me like a baby and try to get me to talk. some ppl who dont know me i try to start off new and let them think i have no problem talking, but it never works out.i go to therapy too (yeah tht helps...) i cant wait to get over this but i dont think it will be anytime soon
You may have SM. I mean, if you can't talk in certain situations, then something is definitely up. People assuming that it's to get attention is really frustrating. It's almost like the opposite - when I couldn't speak, I wanted to disappear because I felt so afraid and then judged.
Would you have any suggestions for a parent of a four-year-old girl that cannot speak at preschool or daycare? I am taking her to the doc next week but would love suggestions on how to help her feel comfortable enough to speak. I am worried the docs will just say she's extra shy. I am afraid there is more to it than that. Your video made me cry because I do not want her to hurt any longer.
if she can't speak at school, then she's more than shy. If she's still speaking normally at home or at least with one other person then you can rule out autism (I was almost misdiagnosed as a kid). You should find a doc that knows something about SM or at least anxiety disorders in children. The sooner it's dealt with, the better. Just don't force her. The're lots of different options, the most common being Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and/or medication. I've never tried meds but can I speak now
of course, it's important that I tell you I didn't begin speaking until I was 17 1/2. I think it's less because of lack of medication and more because of the fact that I never had consistent therapy. I wish you the best of luck in helping your daughter. And feel free to ask me any more questions, and I'll try to help you the best I can. (I know, I'm not a professional, or anything, but I did live with it for over 14 years).
I've had SM ever since I was about 4 years old when I started Primary School and I'm 21 now. Would be great if I could chat to someone who has SM and is around my age :)
there's a selective mutism forum and at least 2 blogs that I know of that deal with SM. I can send you links in a message if you want. and of course, I'm here too.
You should see a school counselor about it. They may not know anything about SM, but they may be able to find some resources for you. Or you could try asking your physician about it (if you have one?). The earlier you get help, the easier it is to handle. Good luck! :)
this video made me cry. i had SM up until i was 11. that part about the waiter, i was there so many times. my parents made me go hungry becuase at times i wouldnt even talk to my dad, let alone the waiter. they never believed i had SM, they still just think i was being stubborn and wanted attention. i didnt think anyone understood what i was going through. if anyone has/had SM please message me i want to hear your story. thx
I think that's the biggest problem w/ SM. At least for me, it wasn't so much and internal struggle until I internalized people's reactions and the way they treated me. I'm sorry to hear about the stuff w/ you dad. It's so hard to get people to understand what it feels like if they never had it.
thank you for making this video i feel exactly the same would you be interested in sharing experiences with me i will try my best to talk to you through email many thanks.
Sometimes people do need to be "fixed" but I think that... a lot of the time when people decide someone needs to be "fixed" there's actually nothing wrong with the person they think has some kind of "problem".
I sometimes wish our world was more accepting... then I realize I'm probably just being cynical and focusing on the bad stuff too much. haha
A Pillow Book is kind of like a journal, but it's edited and ...well, better written. They come from Japan and are usually in the form of something called a zuihitsu, which is kind of like when someone writes whatever pops into their head, so it has a stream-of-consciousness sort of feel.
Oh, and thanks. I'm glad you appreciated my video.
Thanks. I didn't know SM existed when I was a kid. It's pretty rare and it goes undiagnosed a lot. I was born in 1990 and people still didn't know exactly what it was then.
The worst thing that happened to me was a girl who had a crush on me came to me and told how she feels and i stood there saying nothing with a blank face and she never talked to me again. I loved her btw
xxxaudiophilexxx 2 months ago
Good video, I have it and just recently figured it out...so its really good to know theres a name for it other than "shyness", cuz when someone says you're shy it makes you feel like you can help it, but you actually can't and it gets really frustrating. I have a video about it too on my channel!
tumblingislife427 8 months ago
You are special and God loves you thanks for the video blessings your way : )
prnena80 9 months ago
(continued) Why do people always try to misdiagnose kids my child was 5yrs old and diagnosed with ADHD and a learning disability. But God is a good God he is 12yrs old not on medication and on the HONOR ROLL!!!!! So proud. My mom was diagnosed with scitso and bipolar prayed meds got her so messed up 15yrs later she was misdiagnosed it was only depression which my dad caused her. If you believe in GOD he will heal you. Be positive and God Bless!!!
prnena80 9 months ago
I stopped speaking when I was in Kindergarden I got punished and put on time out for speaking so I became traumatized up until 8th grade I would only speak to people I knew. I am 30yrs old had no past treatment and talk alot lol... The crazy thing is that my child in prek is going through the same but God is so good I went to the Dr's today and it was like God wrote the letter he is not selective mute he only chooses to speak to who ever he wants I kept him in prayer and he is fine.
prnena80 9 months ago
I stopped speaking when I was 8, after my father's sister called me a pedophile.
Chiarapetrachiab 1 year ago
Makes me cry. You have described me exactly, although I developed it much later (around 13). Thankyou for making this.
gotpinkmilk 1 year ago
This is beautiful.
AutisticWhoLives4God 1 year ago 3
when your expected to say thank you, smile :) it seems to work just as well, especially with old ladies and waiters when they bring you stuff :)
KeswickCamp08 1 year ago 2
0:22 boy was whoever wrote that WRONG!!
KeswickCamp08 1 year ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
I'm weary of this laughable trend of people proclaiming their personal weaknesses are the fault of disorders. Good choice of music, though.
WarGoatForestWolf666 1 year ago
@WarGoatForestWolf666
And I'm weary of this laughable trend of people dismissing the mountains of evidence supporting the idea that psychiatric disorders exist.
sarcasticwhiteboard 1 year ago 10
@sarcasticwhiteboard mountains of data supports pricey therapists as do 'labels' - as does lengthy therapy that never EVER cures anything. Hormones and neurological problems cause a person to panic or become hysterical creating false beliefs that perpetuate when the 'fight or flight' or 'startle' response is triggered. Learn about the physical causes of 'mental health' /anxiety/ habits and sack the shrink
jonessmithGB 1 year ago
@jonessmithGB I am well aware of the 'flight or fight' response and the biochemical aspects of psychiatric disorders. That's actually why I used the term 'psychiatric' as opposed to 'psychological', bb. I haven't seen a therapist in years, but thank you for your unsolicited advice.
sarcasticwhiteboard 1 year ago
@WarGoatForestWolf666 dick.
FUNSingDance 5 months ago
I hate it so much, I m 17 and still having SM. When I was younger they just said I m shy, in the elementary school,too. In the "Gymnasium" (I m German) there was one teacher knowing what my problem is and so I finally made a therapy, but it goes very slow because there where many events, who influenced my development. For example my parents got divorced, because I did not speak to my father, or my best, and only, friend killed himself.
60erlukas 1 year ago
Now I m only sitting in a corner of the class room, not speaking to anybody and nobody is interested in me.
60erlukas 1 year ago
ive stole your video for my fb page as my daughter has SM and im trying to raise awareness.
I think your video is great, you explain it really well.
thank you very much :)
MusicForTyler 1 year ago 4
@MusicForTyler Thank you! The more people are aware of SM, the better.
sarcasticwhiteboard 1 year ago
please reply to my comment
xxxxSnowman 2 years ago
suffer from selective mutism i dont talk to anyone ever. ive not spoken a word to anyone in 3 years im 13 now and im fustrated. i really want to speak, im desperate. but its just too hard i talk to people online, but thats the only way i communicate with friends.
Can someone please help me, please? :'(
xxxxSnowman 2 years ago
Are you looking for another way to communicate with people? Or help to start speaking? Are you seeing a therapist/psychologist/counselor/etc.? I found that using a dry erase board made it easier to communicate w/ friends, teachers, new acquaintances, etc. I'm probably the wrong person to ask for advice on speaking - I couldn't speak to people outside my immediate family for about 14 years.
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
Well i text stuff down on my mobile phone then show it to people. But only friends and family. And at school i dont get anything to communicate with. The teacher would just take my phone off me. I see a person at school, she helps people with language and reading problems etc. But she doesnt really do much with me. But my parents are trying to get professionals to help me.
xxxxSnowman 2 years ago
do you have a 504 plan? That should help w/ classes and the way that teachers treat you. They should allow you some way to communicate w/ them and other students (clipboard & paper, dry erase board, etc.). Do your parents meet with your teachers? If you don't already have a 504 plan, they should look into it and meet with your teachers to make sure you're able to do your best in class. I hope your parents advocate for you as well as my mom did for me.
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
i dont know what a 504 plan is. And my parents dont meet up with teachers from school. My mum attends meetings about once a month but i dont know what happens and who else attends it.
xxxxSnowman 2 years ago
Ah! Sorry, I just checked and see you live in the U.K. I'm not sure what the equivalent there would be, but I can look into it.
It seems as though SEN may be a lot like the 504 the U.S. - it's for students with disabilities, although I'm not sure what age range it covers. I'll double check with my mom and a friend of mine. I'll send you a link to the site in a PM.
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
I had SM from preschool until highschool. I didn't know that it was SM. Nobody knew. I get myself out of it on my own, but it was very difficult.
FrenchCentina 2 years ago 3
:( I hate that SM is still so misunderstood/unheard of. I'm proud of you for overcoming, it. Especially after struggling with it for so long [w/o a diagnosis to boot!]. It is very hard.
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
SM is unknown, specially in France. This is unacceptable when we know that there is about 7 kids on 1000 who suffer SM in France.
And if you search "mutisme sélectif" (french for selective mustism) on youtube, you don't get anything. So, this is great you made this video. I hope maximum of people will watch it.
FrenchCentina 2 years ago
Thank you.
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
@FrenchCentina You should translate some of our videos into French. Or make your own.
Helyna8 2 years ago
Yeah, you're right. I think I'm gonna make something into French !
FrenchCentina 2 years ago
If you want something to translate, you can use any of my videos. That's Elemarth or Helyna8. Or you can make your own, of course. I understand French, so I'll watch it.
Elemarth 2 years ago
I have had SM most of all my life, and now im 17. In year 4 to year 6 i was speaking and had lots of friends because i started speaking but to be fair i was on medication. But my parents decided to take me to a different school to all my friends which was a really bad idea as my SM has kicked back in.
BoAMightyreds 2 years ago 2
I'm sorry :( The same thing happened to me when I switched schools after preschool. I had begun speaking towards the end, but went to a new school for Kindergarten and couldn't speak again.
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
I am doing a report on selective mutism for my physiology class. Not many people in my class know about selective mutism, so I was wondering if I could show your video on your struggle.
2008prettyinpink 2 years ago 2
Sure! :) I hope your report goes well.
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
i had selective mutism from ages 3 till 11 it was awful so i really do feel for you, alot of my friends still dont believe me to this day that there is an after effect with me, i cannot present to a class well and i shake and have a panic attack ,they think its for attention its awful. I feel for u x
craggy08 2 years ago 3
Thank you. A lot of people think once you can speak, you're "over" it, but you're right, there is an "after effect" (good phrase!) It's kind of frustrating. At times I feel like my anxiety's only shifted and presents itself in other ways now.
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
Comment removed
chenille2008 2 years ago
Anxiety disorders run on my mother side. I have debilitating social phobia. And now my 12yr old nephew who practically doesn't speak in school nor to anyone else besides his parents and brother was diagnosed with SM. Just last week one of his teachers flunked him for not ever having recited in class and even announced everyone's grades over the PA system. We think she was trying to humiliate the child and his parents. Is "heartless" too cruel an adjective?
emactan 2 years ago 3
"Heartless" is dead on. That's terrible. I didn't think teachers did that sort of thing anymore, and it hurts me to hear that they do. Does your nephew have a 504 plan? She shouldn't be able to flunk him for those reasons. I hope his parents talk to the school and get it all straightened out.
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
i have sm- had it all my life- it got better but now its proving to be making everything really difficult. it scares me- its like there is nothing i can do. no one likes me because they think i am rude...i cant help it- i just want to shout at them for the stuff they say but i wont respond,i cant respond. im 16 and people think im a freak, i sometimes wonder myself if i am.
sexigirl2k8 2 years ago
u r not a freak! my son has sm he is 16 he was diagnosed when he was 6 he has come a long way though and i know you will to! i know how u feel about the freak thing i get so angry when ppl would ask what's wrong with your kid why wont he talk i actually got into a fist fight b4 with a woman i wish i could take this disorder away, i feel paralized myself because i cant help all who are afflicted with it! i love you all with sm and will pray that is all i have to offer
fhsrunner11 2 years ago 3
I know what you mean, people call me ignorant because I don't speak to them. At first I could say a few sentences, but now it's hard to just say one word.
And you're not a freak! Though I know how you feel.
KittChiWolf 2 years ago 2
You're not a freak. I've felt the same way a lot, especially in high school. It's rough, but you must remember that there are many other people out there struggling with SM too. You're not alone. Learning that really helped me to not beat up on myself so much.
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
I think my daughter has it. She spent the whole day standing next to her teacher's desk with the teacher waiting for her to answer a question. She is in kindergarten. The school phsych. councelor told us about it and we are having her tested. I am crying for her for all the times she got in trouble for being defiant and now we find out she was simply scared. I am glad we are finding out about this now when she is 5 and can do something about it.
Junietwerps 2 years ago 3
Thank you for making this video. You are so strong to have made this for your English class. Ive seen a social worker with my daughter (3) who indicated a general social anxiety. The sessions helped there are other issues and am now convinced she has SM. I see how articulate and vivavious she is at home and how frozen she is everywhere else. I am going to get some help for her as soon as possible. Thank you I now know she is not being rude or defiant. Good luck with it all :)
brumbysgirl 2 years ago 2
Thank you. You're daughter is luck to have such and understanding and patient mom! I wish you both the best.
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
Selective mutism can be treated with anti-anxiety medication. The results can be astonishing. I encourage you to see a doctor who specializes in anxiety disorders.
Wastingthyme1 2 years ago
I know, and some psychiatrists also use SSRIs as well. My mother was always adamantly against psychiatric meds for kids, so I only had various forms of therapy. I managed to overcome my SM without the use of medication (albeit at a pretty high cost - 15+ years living with SM and I've also developed other anxiety disorders).
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
i have selective mutism i get made fun of all the time
wheeliesbabe 2 years ago
Take no notice of those people who are making fun of you, they are not worth it, us people with the condition selective mutism are special, we are not rude, we are just different. Stay strong x
84bec 2 years ago 3
I Have had selective mutism for Eighteen years and i was not diagnosed till i was seventeen everyone just said i was stupid, a retard, to stupid to talk just plain old mute and so many more names and almost every kid i met asked me can you talk and always said say something retard. my childhood was ripped away from me because i couldn't do anything the other kids were doing because it was paralyzing to even move half the time. i have selective mutism and this is who i am
Danni365 2 years ago 2
I'm so sorry you were treated like that growing up. I only hope that in sharing our stories, we can help better educate and inform others so no one else has to go through things like that again. SM is much too misunderstood, even today.
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
i have it and been with it my whole life..not the easiest thing ever
tigerwolfdog 2 years ago 2
I just found out about S.M today and I think I have it. I'm suprised how little people know about it...at my school the teachers think I'm just rude, and the rest of the class just think I want attention, or I'm just weird. :/
Nice to know there's other people who know how I feel.
FirefoxArtchu 2 years ago 2
Your never alone :) I exactly know how you feel as ive experienced the exact same thing.. I wish you the best :) Stay stong x
CProckchick25 2 years ago 2
Thanks. :)
FirefoxArtchu 2 years ago 2
i have SM also but is SM a type of social anxiety disorder?
5quintessential5 2 years ago
Yes. It is a type of social anxiety disorder. Ive had it months ago and im still overcoming it now with the help of my selective mutism therapist.
CProckchick25 2 years ago 3
this is what i feel all along as well.i just realise that my SM never gone.i got talk now but only to a few peoples.i still can't be like normal peoples.
wenwen47 2 years ago
Sometimes I feel as though no matter how much I talk, I'll never be "normal". I'm beginning to accept that (not sure if that's 'good' or 'bad'). It seems it will always be a part of me.
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
This is a good video. My brother has this..I think more people should know about it.
MyWorld9394 2 years ago 3
Beautiful video. Brought tears to my eyes
roachouch 3 years ago 2
Thank you so much for sharing this.
therealspacejunkie 3 years ago 4
i had selective mutism from being 3 to 11 im now 14, it was hard growing up as people just thought i was stubborn, and wanted attention.
I still get the side affects and nobody understands, people still say...why didnt you speak....now you tell me....what am i meant to say to that? ....i started a book....its called silent words... :) but im not sure what to write...any ideas? :) xxxxxxxxxx
craggy08 3 years ago 7
I wish I could help you with your book. I've been struggling with the same thing - putting those feelings connected to selective mutism into words. I don't know what to write or how to explain how it feels to not be able to speak because of anxiety/fear. If you make some headway, please let me know and I'll do the same. :)
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
@craggy08 I would suggest you to write about how it feels to have selective mutism. Write what you want the public to know. Write your heart out so that people can understand as much as possible. I hope your book is successful. I don't think there are many books on selective mutism currently. Good luck!
AutisticWhoLives4God 1 year ago
Your video brought tears to my eyes.
My 11-year-old daughter has struggled with the challenges of SM since she was a toddler.
We worked hard to help her and at this point in time people who meet her don't have a clue how difficult her childhood was.
It wasn't easy, but worth the time, the cost and other sacrifices that go with fighting the system.
She hasn't been able to share her feelings about it yet - your video may help.
Refusal is a world apart from failure.
Thank you - you are not alone.
shan6808 3 years ago 4
im suffering from selective mustism to it started when i was 3 and now im 16 im from ireland!!
i have a few friends which i talk to nd i talk to most people which is good!
but i just wish i could make more friends nd just talk loud to people:( nd i neverrr ever talk in school:(:( and i just want 2 be myslef:( i hateeeee having thisss no1 understands what i have:( and hardly no people knows about this!! few people hav sed to me your sooo quite grrrr i h8 ittt:(:(I WISH I COULD OVERCOME THIS FEAR
mellymarshmellow 3 years ago 4
im 17 and i talk to most people too..if not all i dnt have fear of crowded places ..either i already feel as if im kinda overcoming this hell hole..i hate sm..why are our brains wired like this...social anxiety is true hell for anyone to live through :(
maisma7 3 years ago 3
Had this from age 3 it started to fade away when I reached 15, now its almost gone but I still suffer from some of the problems like sometimes I have to constantly remind myself to say thanks. I think now I just have social anxiety which is still bad but not nearly as bad as SM. Lots of people gave me crap back when I was small, When I see these people they ask me "Do you talk now?!" I feel like telling them to get fucked but I obviously can't since their family friends :P
jedsterg 3 years ago 2
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Psychiatrists could breed thus type of response during forced or coerced treatment.
I have seen psychiatrists discuss giving sodium penathol (commonly called "truth serum" ) to someone (who DOES speak at times) who is undergoing forced treatment!
A friend once told me about his brother who was arrested, held, and beaten by police in California in the 1990s just BECAUSE he would not talk to them. Nowadays they might also taser him.
ytmno 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
I have observed this misdiagnosis being made by psychiatrists.
Let us remember, right of free expression includes the right NOT to speak. We all have a right of silence.
If someone chooses not to speak it doesn't mean they have a 'psychiatric disorder.'
We shouldn't get in the habit of judging another's unspoken thoughts.
Sometimes when someone suffers mental & emotional abuse, or is assaulted emotionally or physically, their safe zone is guarding and controlling when they speak.
ytmno 3 years ago
I find your comment a little offensive. I did NOT choose not to speak at all. It's painful to be so afraid you cannot get your words out, and what was more painful was people who told me I was choosing to not speak. I can agree that silence can be a very good thing, and that it's okay not to speak, but I don't think it's right for you to imply that my silence stemmed from a choice or a reaction to abuse. It did not. That is yet another misconception around selective mutism.
sarcasticwhiteboard 2 years ago
Thank you so much for making this! I was diagnosed with Selective Mutism when I was 7. I'm 27 now. I have grown in leaps and bounds and most people would have no idea that I still suffer from a lot of the same feelings. You're right, we were not CHOOSING not to speak. It just didn't come out. It was a paralyzing fear that I still can't explain to this day.
reandruzzi 2 years ago 3
really very great lyrics in this video!!!
I suffered in selecive mutism, too.... all my childhood... still until young adult age... and even now sometimes... but it's much better than still 2-3 years ago...
sandyneedsmusic 3 years ago
really very great lyrics in this video!!!
I suffered in selecive mutismu, too.... all my childhood... still untilyoung adult age... and even now sometimes... but it's much better than still 2-3 years ago...
sandyneedsmusic 3 years ago 2
im 14 & i have selective mutism too.
i hate it :[
i do the same thing when the waiter or someone asks me what i want but my mom allways tells them for me.
i would kill her if she didnt and i had to get nothing.
):
i dont tlk to any of my friends just my mom and sister.
:(
casienjake 3 years ago
I definately have this...I am silent unlass at home.I know what its like.I hate the way people treat me too.I am 14, i didnt always have SM but for the last few years I have had it.
roseyroxs94 3 years ago 2
This is lu-tze from the SM group on LJ. Anyway.
"They said it was because I was stubborn and wanted attention". Yeah. they said that to me too. Raar to them! It's rather the opposite though.
I really don't get that though. Saying it's attention seeking. It's the total opposite. And you can't seriously believe that a 5 y/old would think in depth enough work out how it could give attention.
Anyway. They didn't say that until I was older though.
naznomarn 3 years ago 3
I just learned about this disorder tonight on TV. The reason I'm posting is I was in love with a girl at my gym for years and I am pretty sure she had this disorder.
She'd give me the eye from the other side of the room and whenever I tried to make friends with her she'd just stare into space. There'd be no expression on her face and her answers were always grunts or short disinterested answers.
(Sorry I have to do this in 3 parts because of the limit)
Davaris666 3 years ago 3
In all the years she went to that gym I only ever noticed her making two friends and they didn't last long. Her parents also went to the same gym and while her mother was friendly, her father behaved in similar ways to his daughter.
After trying for years to get to know her I became convinced that she was trying to manipulate me and I got mad as hell (my pride was hurt) and avoided her from then on.
Davaris666 3 years ago 2
Now I know it wasn't arrogance or mind games on her part. I am certain she is a selective mutism sufferer. If I had known what was going on inside her head, things would have been different.
So people if you have selective mutism and some one really likes you, please find a way to let them know.
Davaris666 3 years ago 3
I already commented this video, but i had to watch it again. and that thing u said
"theres a world of difference between refusal and failure". that basically sums up my life. i hate it when people think i dont talk cause i dont WANT to talk. in reality i would have given anything to talk like a normal kid.
my new favorite quote. did u make it up? i love it.
fuzzyslipper7012 4 years ago 2
Yes, I made it up. Thank you! I'm glad you like it.
sarcasticwhiteboard 4 years ago
i deal with this and im 11. i HATE it ppl treat me like a baby and try to get me to talk. some ppl who dont know me i try to start off new and let them think i have no problem talking, but it never works out.i go to therapy too (yeah tht helps...) i cant wait to get over this but i dont think it will be anytime soon
carliibrizz1092 4 years ago
You may have SM. I mean, if you can't talk in certain situations, then something is definitely up. People assuming that it's to get attention is really frustrating. It's almost like the opposite - when I couldn't speak, I wanted to disappear because I felt so afraid and then judged.
sarcasticwhiteboard 4 years ago
Would you have any suggestions for a parent of a four-year-old girl that cannot speak at preschool or daycare? I am taking her to the doc next week but would love suggestions on how to help her feel comfortable enough to speak. I am worried the docs will just say she's extra shy. I am afraid there is more to it than that. Your video made me cry because I do not want her to hurt any longer.
smilleville 4 years ago
if she can't speak at school, then she's more than shy. If she's still speaking normally at home or at least with one other person then you can rule out autism (I was almost misdiagnosed as a kid). You should find a doc that knows something about SM or at least anxiety disorders in children. The sooner it's dealt with, the better. Just don't force her. The're lots of different options, the most common being Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and/or medication. I've never tried meds but can I speak now
sarcasticwhiteboard 4 years ago
of course, it's important that I tell you I didn't begin speaking until I was 17 1/2. I think it's less because of lack of medication and more because of the fact that I never had consistent therapy. I wish you the best of luck in helping your daughter. And feel free to ask me any more questions, and I'll try to help you the best I can. (I know, I'm not a professional, or anything, but I did live with it for over 14 years).
sarcasticwhiteboard 4 years ago
I've had SM ever since I was about 4 years old when I started Primary School and I'm 21 now. Would be great if I could chat to someone who has SM and is around my age :)
jenn260986 4 years ago 2
there's a selective mutism forum and at least 2 blogs that I know of that deal with SM. I can send you links in a message if you want. and of course, I'm here too.
sarcasticwhiteboard 4 years ago
I can relate to this so much. Like the waiter thing and how people thinking you were stubborn and wanted attention.
xoshinegirl 4 years ago 2
restaurants are still difficult for me to deal with even though I am able to speak now. I'm glad to find people who know what it feels like.
sarcasticwhiteboard 4 years ago
You should see a school counselor about it. They may not know anything about SM, but they may be able to find some resources for you. Or you could try asking your physician about it (if you have one?). The earlier you get help, the easier it is to handle. Good luck! :)
sarcasticwhiteboard 4 years ago
this video made me cry. i had SM up until i was 11. that part about the waiter, i was there so many times. my parents made me go hungry becuase at times i wouldnt even talk to my dad, let alone the waiter. they never believed i had SM, they still just think i was being stubborn and wanted attention. i didnt think anyone understood what i was going through. if anyone has/had SM please message me i want to hear your story. thx
-tor
fuzzyslipper7012 4 years ago 2
I think that's the biggest problem w/ SM. At least for me, it wasn't so much and internal struggle until I internalized people's reactions and the way they treated me. I'm sorry to hear about the stuff w/ you dad. It's so hard to get people to understand what it feels like if they never had it.
sarcasticwhiteboard 4 years ago
thank you for making this video i feel exactly the same would you be interested in sharing experiences with me i will try my best to talk to you through email many thanks.
richardmickey 4 years ago 2
Some people do seem to have this obsession with figuring out what's "wrong" and trying to "fix" whatever it is.
Thanks for making this video.
Aaroncast86 4 years ago 2
Yes! since when did people need to be "fixed"? Why can't we just accept them? thank you for watching it (and commenting).
sarcasticwhiteboard 4 years ago
Sometimes people do need to be "fixed" but I think that... a lot of the time when people decide someone needs to be "fixed" there's actually nothing wrong with the person they think has some kind of "problem".
I sometimes wish our world was more accepting... then I realize I'm probably just being cynical and focusing on the bad stuff too much. haha
Aaroncast86 4 years ago 2
Beautiful video! and heartbreaking.. good luck with everything.
Weirfan69 4 years ago 2
thank you!!
sarcasticwhiteboard 4 years ago
Loved your video...I know exactly how you feel
Krby84 4 years ago 2
It's nice to know I'm not alone.
sarcasticwhiteboard 4 years ago
And I just relived my childhood by watching this. I appreciate that.
BTW What's a pillow book?
maehb 4 years ago 2
A Pillow Book is kind of like a journal, but it's edited and ...well, better written. They come from Japan and are usually in the form of something called a zuihitsu, which is kind of like when someone writes whatever pops into their head, so it has a stream-of-consciousness sort of feel.
Oh, and thanks. I'm glad you appreciated my video.
sarcasticwhiteboard 4 years ago
Good video. Haha, now I feel sad...
gawd I f- hate this.
infernodragon02 4 years ago 2
Thank you.
I love your videos.
sarcasticwhiteboard 4 years ago
This was quite interesting. I didn't know about Selective Mutism until I saw this video. Thanks.
I liked your video much.
5*
deansig 4 years ago 2
Thanks. I didn't know SM existed when I was a kid. It's pretty rare and it goes undiagnosed a lot. I was born in 1990 and people still didn't know exactly what it was then.
sarcasticwhiteboard 4 years ago