Added: 4 years ago
From: mat1981
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  • is this a real police department voicemail greeting or a fake? please reply back

  • lol

  • Most cops are just drunk pieces of shit. The older cops are OK if you can catch 'em in a sober moment, which is rare, but the younger ones, damn. All they need is a swastika sewn onto their shirt-pocket and they've got the whole package. It's that whole "Us vs. Them" mentality they've get. Mostly just pimple-face kids who got picked-on a lot in school, now they've got the gun and the taser and they're just itchin' to use it. On anyone, Grandma, a five-year-old, whoever, man. It's sad.

  • I adore this...... It Is now in my favorites......

  • Brilliant!!!

  • Today's cops abuse auth.. I'm sick of living in a police state, seeing families along the road, possessions strewn about, seeing my friends arrested "for their own safety" cause they had the nerve 2 assert their rights.Shoot dogs that bark at them, barging in homes, when no danger existed, circumventing law by buying illegal info, spy on us, talk on their cells while driving, telling people to shut up, or you're going to jail.

    "When they came for me, no one was left to stand up for my rights".

  • I love police officers!!

  • Love this

  • 61 people have not been brainwashed by the cops

  • I pressed 1

  • If you're looking for someone to attack peaceful protesters with batons, pepper-spray, or tear gas, please hang up since we're already on our way.

  • I bet 90% of the people on here who are bashing cops either have a criminal record or are at least chronic traffic violators. Sounds like some people need to take responsibility for their actions. And no I'm not a police officer.

  • @suicidalparrot You just lost your bet. Most people are scared nowadays. Police have overstepped their sworn bounds. You may need to get out more often.

  • my crazy uncle phoned in bomb threats. i tipped off the police, they told me that they would not say where they got thier info from. when they confronted him they told him my name, then they took away my firearm (that sat in the corner of my room for 15 years untouched) and told him i was going to shoot him.thanks s p p d.. ill never work with the police ever again!!! i am lucky to be alive

  • I don't like this message. Some of the police officers (not all) in our area are horrible. There have been several times I was pulled over for no reason. When I was younger I worked at Sonic and in the summer worked easily til 2 am because of the clean up time after closing (which was at midnight) I was pulled over i can remember at least 10+ in 2 year period and ask where I was going and why I was out that late. Being that I lived in the county I think they always thought I was trying to run..

  • Comment removed

  • and alot of people are posting about it

    now since im only 12 i dont have any idea if the police are bad or good, but so far i think there are bad cops and good cops, so please, dont argue with a 12 year old... over the internet..... about something in which he hasnt had any relations to

  • if you noticed, all the people who hate this video basically hate the police

    now lets read the description

    it says the word FUNNY in it, nothing like "cops are perfect" or "i wish we all didnt do all this bad stuff" but he thinks it is funny.

    so please, read descriptions

  • What do I press to identify myself as a police officer so when I get pulled over for a DUI I won't get arrested or even get a ticket.? Also what do I press to tell my supervisors that I met my ticket quota so i deserve a raise and a promotion?

  • yes, i clearly am an America and a gear in the socialist machine.

  • fuck the cops! when they pull me over i always fart so they have to smell it

  • @zionml I should try that

  • This is my favorite voice mail: "You know that I'm a misanthrope. So fuck off already."

  • ..if we detained you by illegally using 'emergency procedures' such as falshing lights and sirens..press 32..if we issued to you an unconstitutional bill of attainder aka a ' traffic citation" or "ticket" press 33... if we've youve caught us violating our oath of office as usual press 35 ...  wtf is wrong with police? the rights we have are not what they are protecting..they protect the law..thats it...its rare when a police officer is a 'peace/constitutional 'officer..

  • i wonder which number i press when they violate my constitutional rights..or do they have a different number for each different right violated?hmmm... lets see..if we violated your right to travel and issued you a ticket for 'no drivers license" press 22...if we searched your property w/out a warrant -press 23..if we rressted you w/out an arrest warrant-press 24...if we practiced law w/o a license press 25..if we detained you ,which is the same as arresting you w/o a warrant press 29....

  • so if you solve your problems with bullets. say the tv doesn't work. do you shoot it?

  • @Uberlordlaharl1 i just lold

    though thats serious, im with you on that one

  • This really is so true. I've heard many of these as I was in law enforcement. Ppl do need to take responsibility for their actions. Although there are always 2 sides to every story and I was always hearing both sides. The voicemail is really something to reflect as a story to reality. We have all been there and have said some of the things that are on this vm. I have and I know a lot of people have. It's just funny to listen to..... :))))

  • What do I press to identify myself as a police officer, so in case of being pulled over I will be aloowed to get away with everything including DUIs and running over kids and the elderly?

  • fuck cops

  • I press 7

  • The reason why this was made is cause stupid people pretty much expect illogical things like this from the police. This doesn't reflect their egos. They just get tired of this same stupid crap all the time. People who get mad cause THEY broke the law or people claiming the police don't do anything when crimes occur when they really have no idea what they're talking about, and other things mentioned on here. Yes there are some bad police out there, but that doesn't go for the majority of them.

  • This is why only worthless assholes call the police. I have never called the police for anything and I never will because I solely am responsible for my life and my actions. Cops are not needed period.

  • It very well could be that there are bad cops out there. I believe that, but unlike doctors,preachers and other employed (patrons?) where you can choose to receive their services or not, you cannot decide which law enforcement officer responds to your call for aid. And NO!, cops who abuse their power will not magicaly (or otherwise disappear because people stop breaking the law. Rediculous logic. Funny vid none the less.

  • Wow

  • I would press 6

  • This ain't funny, whichever cops made this voicemail are a bunch of assholes.

  • This is obviously fake u assholes!!!! They'd be arrested if they actually sed this

  • Do some people realize how awful they sound when they open their mouth? I, myself, found the video just...a try at humor. Why be a bitch about it? Besides, online death threats...heh. I'm sorry. I really don't want to finish that, what with it being illegal n all in some states, but since SpeakoniaKILLS can't catch the humor and can only grace us with her knowledge of what jackasses the police allegedly are, then she/he can go fuck him/herself. Being a bitch isn't going to get u through life.

  • is this a real recording? funny one. hope it's real. give me the number.

  • What do I push to thank cops for all the hard work they do?

  • @VictorianAuthoress lol so I guess sitting on your ass all day is "hard word"?

  • @desenagrator

    Yes, because putting their lives in danger and taking bullets for disrespectful people like you IS hard. I wonder…would you take a bullet for someone you didn’t know? Let alone some punk. Be glad, Steven from Pensacola, that I am not a cop.

  • @VictorianAuthoress reminds me of the message machine that a school had lol....oh wait IT IS! ITS THE SAME MESSAGE JUST EDITED :S Check the video and see?

  • where can i get this. this is just to funny

  • well heres hoping none of your sorry arses ever have to call eh! quick to bitch but even quicker to call to sort your sorry lives out

    this still makes me laugh even after all these years xx

  • i press 6

  • 1. this video sucks.

    2. you suck for making this video.

    3. you're not fucking funny

    4. Just because YOU think policemen are so fucking perfect, that there shit doesn't stink, doesn't mean you have to shout your opinions to other people.

    5. dial 10 for 'mat1981' to go fuck himself.

  • @SpeakoniaKILLS

    you're a poor angry person who just needs a hug. Come here. Let me help.

  • i have this as my greeting and anyone who called to tell me happy bday got scared and hung up ahahhaahahah

  • @TheShideh8 thhat prolly never happened and your trying to act cool for youtube.

  • @albertb50 that exactly happened and i dont find it cool plus who would i impress on youtube? trolls like u? naaaaa bra! it was just a comment

  • fuck the police. and fuck all their bitch friends who defend them on youtube hahaha

  • @gchav002 Finally someone who gets it

  • funney shit

  • YOU PUT THE "OOF" IN "GOOF"

  • GOOOOOOOOOF

  • YOU ARE A TOTAL; GOOF!!

  • Oh please... don't make a generalized statement about police officers due to a cfew bad seeds. I will agree that stuff does go down, but some cops just might be out there to do their jobs the right way... imagine that, most of you will never get to know those police officers because you automatically hate the badge .

  • if i ever get the police department voice mail and im getting robed i will get pissed

  • 999999999999999999999999999999­9999999999999999999

    

  • Grate job ... love it!

  • the one who put up this video is one of those cops who gives people shit cause he hates his life. who do you think cops love there jobs so much. they all hate there lives.

  • dial 13 for fuck the police

  • Fake but funny.

  • whops i pressed 5 and 8

  • fuck the police.

  • wine about it 4

  • wine about it

  • This idea was stolen from another fake voice mail message that was supposed to be a school. Both suck

  • llmfaao i swear to god i know the motherfucker who said this, he sounds just like the guy who was a guard in the jdc i went to on spring break last year... funny ass mofo

  • All police departments should have this voicemail. Epic win.

  • What about calling for 3 years to report speeders on a street that children cross daily

    and those same speeders are still speeding.But,no children have been hit yet so I guess everythings ok.

  • @mompood Press 6.

  • @DrexelDragonO91 Haha Good answer:)

  • lol

  • "Less than 1 half of 1% of officers misfit the uniform. And thats a better average than you'll find among clergy..." - Paul Harvey.

  • What a bunch of bullshit. Why does every cop have some "unappreciated hero" complex? It takes respect to get respect officers. What's the difference between a cop and a criminal? A badge. Cops are just a gang like any other. Cops these days remind me of the jews in concentration camps that were recruited and given "authority" to keep the other jews in line even though their ultimate worth to the powers that be was about the same.

  • Hahahahaha

    This is great......so true too.

  • Whats the number?

  • LOL

    that was realy good make another one

  • Hearing this makes my day :)

  • PRESS 4!!!

  • hahaha! this was great! bravo mat1981

  • hahahah i used this 4 a prank

  • New motto for the side of the car "were here to save your but not kiss it", LOL

  • If there were no crime it would be a just society but cops wouldn't have jobs, so a low crime rate would be a bad thing for the police because they wouldn't be able to get raises and promotions

  • American Hunting & Sporting Forum

    Giuen Outright Google Groups

  • fuck this shit cops suck

  • @burndata Honestly, its not the cops fault for doing what the lawmakers tell them to do. If the lawmaker says that no one is allowed to driver any faster then 65 M.P.H. then its the cops job to enforce that. So, dont blame a cop for doing all the dirty work. Blame the assholes who make the laws and not the people who enforce them.

  • I think people just need to take reponsibility for their own actions. I am a stoner and i have been caught with weed before, but i paid my fines and treated the officers with respect, because well, i was breaking the law and they were just doing their jobs. I agree that there are "bad" cops but thats true for all professions. If your gonna fuck up and break the law, at least OWN UP TO IT . Dont give cops a hard time, all they are trying to do is PROTECT you from your own DUMBASSNESS.

  • @TokinAngel23

    You may have posted this one a year ago, but in all honesty I thought I was the only one who felt this way. Nice to see someone else has the guts to make this statement.

  • lmao!!!!!!! llol :-D

  • We are here to save your butts, not kiss them.....funny as hell

  • 3 three

  • Why is it any funny video meant to be a funny video turned into a bunch of morons arguing in the comments about whether cops are corrupt or not?

  • @DigitalPh333r because people in the world have nothing better to do than bitch about other people.

    or simply because they weren't loved enough as a child and want attention.

  • To all you "wanna be haters not knowing why your hating": Cops are harsh because the job is harsh. Why do you think bouncers looked pissed off all the time? Because they put up with assholes on a daily basis. Would you rather have someone who knows what the fuck they are doing or a pansy ass in a pink fairy costume waving a wand to fix all crimes?? Some of you complaining probably work at wal mart and you pieces of shit dont smile at me when i walk in so shut the fuck up!

  • 'dumbass' ?

  • I keep mashing 4 but my stupid whiny kids are still here. This message is all lies!

  • 5 lmao!!!!

  • 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 5 55 5 5 5 55 5 lol.

  • sounds like something I would expect to hear in reality...The overinflated egos of 99% of the police officers in this world contribute to the bad image and shit they get hit with when they DONT do their job.

  • Agreed.

  • I live in Lorain Ohio. A rather large group of policemen with small dicks and big egos. I would not be surprised to hear this MSG on their personal phone at home. It's a job where you get very little thanks because most times you don't do anything to deserve it. Our police station is full of phucktards!

  • People call the police to help solve problems..but in my time as a police officer i have discovered one thing. You can't fix stupid.

  • @crash92 fuck the police u stupid pig

  • @fiend43ver wow thats impressive did you think of that all by yourself? Or did you have to collaborate with your more intelligent friends? I've never been called a pig..thats very original. I bet next you'll say you pay my salary or I'm ugly or gay or stupid. God only knows what your well tuned mund will come up with next...

  • @crash92 I was always told PIG stands for Pride Integrity and Guts :)

  • Don't be too proud of yourself.

  • @crash92 I'm with you there, and that's the problem with America. Stupid people are creating more stupid people. Smart people are smart by deciding when is the best time to have a child. In addition, our school standards are lower than ever thanks to parents who bitch about their child's failing grade and the lack of an academic drive in students today. Unfortunately, smart people are living on borrowed time. Soon the world will become stupid and people like you and me will have to fix it.

  • @crash92 that' sounds about right, stupid takes a while to fix.

  • I solve my problems with bullets. As long as you get in my way you die.

  • What do you press to report cops who abuse their power

  • @delorme9 Nothing...just stop breaking the law and they will magically disappear.

  • hmmmmm...could it be that there are bad cops out there just like there are bad doctors, preachers, and other employed patrions. Wow, you may be on to something....

  • yep and this recording pretty much reflects upon their atitude. If its such a thankless job why do it? Probably because the reason wasn't to help others as much as it is to prop up your own ego.

  • @mat1981 There are good preachers?

  • @mat1981 if there were bad cops like the ones off superbad i wouldnt care lol

  • friggin awesome comment!!!!!

  • do cops only hit people in alleys? I'm a cop and we dont have many allys where I work...

  • @mat1981, disappear? where? Patrolcar and choking on drpepper and donuts? sorry, but this world does NOT have enough drpepper and donuts to maintain their "waiting for rumble-time!".

    so, there is a natural balance between choking on drpepper and donuts, and whooping someones ass. LMAO...

  • @mat1981 must be one of the " i know everything " bastards right here .so would your job dumbass ( disappear ) . It would be like cowboys with no indians. My main problem is not that i got caught doing something....which i did . Its that you guys are supposed to set an example and do a piss poor job.How can you demand respect for protecting a law you dont even follow , and your all a bunch of smart assed, power hungry ,dickheads

  • @delorme9 Are you still mad because you received a well deserved speeding ticket 5 years ago. 

  • Must be on a power trip

  • It got a chortle from me.

    Not sure I'd listen to it again though. Reminds me of those "hilarious" man vs. woman emails.

  • this should really be used rather then some joke..

  • Best. Message. Ever! I am required to call the police almost daily because of my job, and that is very similar to the recording I have to hear (except many of the prompts are never this funny).

  • what do I press If I want a job as a cop, I'm pretty good at planting evidence such as drugs under car seats in order to frame people, so i think I'd be a pretty good cop.

  • @delorme9 So using your logic, ALL cops are bad cops, would leave me to believe your a stoner who's mad cause he got caught. Cry me a river.

  • no your the idiot that has the drugs in his car and wonder why you get caught....it wasn't mine...

  • I Love that!

  • funney as hell me keep  it up

  • But its so true lol

  • i pressed 4 and the next calll was 5.

  • The "cop worship" stuff really gets tiring. Yes, some of them are decent individuals, just like any other walk of life ... but the system itself is badly broken and getting worse by the day.

    As Stefan Molyneux puts it, "Protect and Serve" means for THOSE IN POWER -- not you!

    All the childish fawning about the situation doesn't change the facts. The present setup is not the only way to run a society and it sure as Hell isn't the best way by a long shot.

  • blow it out yur pants cop!!!!

  • Lol That is funny one of my old friends is a cop and I swear he would have that

  • LoL

  • Excellent

  • I WANT IT

  • brillaint

  • I love it!

  • hahahhahaha i love this !

  • Amen, now if only I could actually answer the phone this way.

  • i chose number 9

  • this was a you tube fail o.O

  • lol

  • hahahaha thats hilarious!!!!! xD

  • LOL... whats the dialogue for this??

  • Ugh, sounds like a cop whining.

  • they are there to protect and serve not to make you happy.

    they do their best to us safe and they are the best on what they do.

  • excuses for being a-holes.

  • LMAO!

  • "Instead of keeping your dumbass in line" lmfao, and "we're here to save your butts, not kiss 'em."

  • and what have you done with your life Heavydde you call that fat and look at ur name dumb ass

  • ok, what would happen if their werent any pollice in your neighborhood.....exactly buddy, wow. your such an ass...u should press 9 :)

  • Spoken like a true criminal.

  • Go look at what police did during the north Hollywood shooting. I didnt see any "Hard-Working citizens" running towards the gunshots. They all ran away from them.

  • How do they do that then?

    the 'hard-working citizens' call the police.

  • Too, too funny!!! I deal with the same schtuff in the ED! I am an ED nurse, I am here to save their asses, not kiss them!!!!

    Police officers deserve much more respect than they get from the dumb-assed indigenous populous!!!

  • Crime Doesn't Pay!!  However if Crime didn't exist then Cops wouldn't have Jobs. How Ironic???

  • there were not always cops in america

  • How bout instead of saving my butt you just stay the hell out of it and not harass me for taking care of mine.

  • You are obviously not part of the intelligent or advanced society of which you speak.

  • I'd love to see you in charge of something more than a cardboard box

  • Here to save it, not kiss it. Brillaint :-D

  • lol