@PuddiNovaXZ I know exactly what you mean. If someone messages me on Facebook/ YouTube or whatever, I just can't type back because I keep thinking my response will sound retarded and dumb. For example if someone responds to this comment I've made I KNOW I WON'T respond back. :(
When my dad asks for me to go for a walk or go into town with him, I do get afraid of what people will think when I'm out and say no I'll stay. (On my computer.. and not do anything outside of my room)
Well.. I don't know if I am but I'm 14 and I go on the computer a lot I mean A LOT and I play a game on the internet that I'm almost addicted to but that has really only a small part of what I have to say right now. I am prettyu antisocial and I fear being in the grocery store or any public place because I'm afraid people judge me all the time.. Like all the time. At school it's fine I have overflowing confidence but if I'm with any family or alone I get afraid.
I got bit by a brown recluse and took my husband's percocet that night I could think so clear, my mind slowed down and I could focus like I never have in my life. It was so cool to concentrate at that level. When I pray at night my mind is all over the place, when I took that percocet I talked to God like I have never talked to God, my mind stayed focused on what I was saying. Funny that I have never taken but that one pill. Has anyone had that happen to them while taking percocet?
I have avoidant disorder, born with it if you ask me. I felt different, couldn't communicate very well. Scared to death of rejection so it was better to just stay quiet and not bring attention to yourself. I was lost in my own mind, not really paying any attention to my surroundings or the people around me. Well you get left fast when you are not part of your surroundings. I had A.D.D. and avoidance, man life is hard on you when you have these disorders. You just don't belong wherever you go.
@purity4all It was horrible but I lived through it. I realize that the hyper was part of too much caffiene, sugar and lack of minerals like zinc. Too much copper and not enough zinc and your mind races like flipping through a book real fast. I don't know about the avoidance, sitll struggle with that one. If I could communicate better I would not be so avoidant. I never know what to say or how to say it. My words come out so stupid that I just avoid the embarrassment and smile.
@Kyjo34 Glad you figured it out. Wonder if I should have my son's mineral levels checked? He's been hyper his whole life. You express yourself well in written words at least.
@purity4all The more sugar you eat the more your zinc levels drop at least that is whay I have read. One time I experimented and started to take large doses of zinc, after a few days I started to notice that I was paying attentiont to detail like bumper stickers and signs when before my mind of been jumping too fast to zoom in on any small detail. It was like my world slowed down and I wasn't in hurry and moved slower. The problem that I had was that I started to get real depressed and....
@purity4all and I lost all interest in the things that I liked. Once I layed off the zinc and started to take copper supplements again I got happy again and picked up on my interrest and my mind started to race again. I realized after that experiment that I would choose hyper state any day over black depression. I can see how a person could kill themselves when they get in a state like that. That may be why you here people kill themelves on antidepressants. Read up on copper toxicity.
@Kyjo34 Huh, that's interesting. I actually thought I had copper toxicity and had a copper iud removed because of it. Kind of makes me think. Thanks for the info.
@purity4all I have zinc and copper supplements help my female issues. I just don't want to talk about it here. Did you know copper is high when your estrogen is high and that zinc helps the body produce progesterone? Google progesterone and zinc and then estrogen and copper and you will be amazed at how much minerals effect your hormones, mind and personality. You are what you eat I guess ha ha.
@Kyjo34 understandable, I thought twice about posting about my issue too. I will definitely look up the copper and estrogen, zinc and progesterone connections. And yes we really are what we eat. Thanks again for the info.
@NelsonRodriguezFTW Why do you think people with avoidance disorder are incapable of love? Don't listen to eharmony, they're only after peoples money in the first place. If you truly feel you're in incapable of love, look up narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder and no matter what disorder you feel you might have, get help.
All disorders seem like bullshit but I could really relate to this one I only found this cause this disorder was related to people incapable of love cause thats what eharmony told me so now I know I was born to die alone and Ive been isolating myself from everybody cause the world is full of scum living in my generation everyone just seems so fucking fake i usually solve my problems with violence and dont socialize with their kind so I figured I got five years I'm gonna save my money see Malays
i know i have this and im getting worse i smile around my family but all i want to do is cry as a mexican i find my culture doesnt even believe in dis sorta thing and when i have tried socializing with my one good friend im unable to speakaround other people an feel like burden to him now i cant even face him i dont know how much mor i can take this
That is exactly how I am. Whenever I am around other musicians I feel like I'm at home. It is very difficult to talk to other people even though I desire to. I feel like no one really cares what i have to say even though i know that isnt true. I haven't been diagnosed with APD, but I sure fit the description. This video brings up a lot of memories. Thank you.
Im a 19 yrs old guy and i cried when i watched this. Hadn't cried in years.I can relate so much to that moment when school ends,or the other moments where the other friends are all playing and laughing together.
This was very difficult to watch..I, acctually, am unsure if I'm an AvPD or what. I'm very mature for the young age I am, don't have very many friends, and at times it is hard to talk to people. However, I'm also a musician, and when I'm around other musicians, it's not a problem at all! Outside of the music world, there's others for me to talk to aswell. Is this still AvPD?
Aw, this was so hard to watch :( i have avoidant personality disorder, and a some of depressed and borderline personality disorder (thats what am diagnosed)
the results of this for me, is that im cutting and thinking of suicide everyday. :/ but luckily i got help from psychologists. I think why i got this disorder. (i dunno why and guess i'll never know.) but maybe it was becuz my brother have autism and adhd and asperger, and i've always been on my own becuz my brother needed more attention..
The narration at the end doesn't fit. Not that they're the wrong words, but any words don't have the impact that just the images do. Right at the beginning, the cobwebs on the phone, yikes....
Damnit, your animation made me cry. *sigh* I have APD and you did well in portraying the loneliness and fear of rejection that people with APD suffer from. Thanks for making this video.
I'm an 18 year old girl with APD. I have literally been shit on by absolutely everyone I ever loved in life, in the most horrific ways possible. I was bullies at school by pretty much everyone. I was bullied by my olser brothers, even my friends and rejected by my family. I've found that being stuck indoors, continued*
This video is too melodramatic. It's not like I just walk around and cry all day. Sure it's a humongous part of life but it's not like having a teary soundtrack to everything. It's just awkwardness and tension and fear and self-loathing. Also, people trying to be friendly isn't hugely helpful since as it stands, being social in a meaningful way would just be too stressful and complicated. Also there's nothing quite as demeaning as having somebody be nice to you out of pity.
Although there are no "common" things that can cause AVPD, it has been shown in studies that those who've been abused emotionally and/or physically are more likely to have this affliction than others. I personally think heredity has nothing to do with it; two outgoing parents could have a child with AVPD.
I'm positive I have this disorder. It's not a condition that suddenly appeared to plague my life, it has actually always existed throughout my existence. I dread to think this is a lifelong behavioral pattern. It seems as though you're an elderly person even when you're still young. Aging does not cause it to subside, so if I find no way out of this problem I hope not much still lies ahead in the future.
I have AvPD and am bipolar too. I have friends because people from my congregation have tried to include me. They tell me they miss me if I shut myself in. The psychiatrist stabilized me as depressed because my stomach couldn't handle lithium. I pulled back from people - hid online. Even after they a year later changed my medicine I didn't see people because I was more or less agoraphobic by then. The internet is my friend and my connection to the world without having to leave my apartment.
I tried to post a comment but I keep on erasing it and write another. I just wanted to say that I have AvPD and that I'm 6 years in college already. The reason is I don't attend classes because you know why. Just before I step into a classroom, my anxiety sets in, and so decides to go home instead. So fcvked up.
I tried to post a comment but I keep on erasing it and write another. I just wanted to say that I have AvPD and that I'm 6 years in college already. The reason is I don't attend classes because you know why. Just before I step into a classroom, my anxiety sets in, and so decides to go home instead. So fvcked up.
Ok. I really like the song but I haven't heard it in a while till I watched this vid. There's a Wikipedia article on AvPD. I read it and I was so uncomfortable at how accurately it described my situation. Sucks sooooo fuckin much
@swaragho My theory is that Avoidant Personality Disorder is primarily a learned behavior, for example in this video the main character learned from his father's reaction to him having fun that ALL people will react like that to him. I think most likely that the only hereditary aspect of it is that those who are born with a more sensitive personality are at more risk of Avoidant Personality disorder as they will react to rejection more sensitively and take rejection more personally.
It's like having a curse that you have to live with. I haven't even uploaded videos of myself because I'm afraid people will think negative of me, the way I act and look, even if people think I'm pretty, I just don't believe it. Everything is like a lie to me. I don't even like eating in front of other people, but when I'm hungry, I have to eat. When I take a bite out of something, I'm always watching others just to see if they're not thinking "Oh look at the way that pathetic girl eats"
@clover220 The world is a horrible place to be in. It really is. People in general, will always have something bad to say about someone or something. It's a fact.
@TheCenturion1 I get what you're saying. Sometimes I don't even feel comfortable around my family because I feel like they talk bad about me when I'm not around. It sucks to be in this terrible world.
@clover220 The trouble is, how could a person with APD co-exist with the world? Hey, wait. is it really a disorder? I think it's a normal reaction, or a much better term is "defence mechanism". That's how I look at it. I'm not officially diagnosed as having an avoidant personality, but from the way I behave and the way I think, and me in relation to others, it exactly fits my profile. But you see, if one has low expectations, you'll never go wrong. I mean, if you expect them to say bad things, >
@clover220 > it would be a lot less of a frustration. And in your case, your family. After all, it isn't at all impossible for them to talk ill of you. "People saying bad things all around"--Evidence of which is very easy to find. Just look around youtube. It's the sum of all the behaviours of people around the world crammed in a single website.
Thanks for this beautifully done (kind & compassionate too) video.
When I told my therapist about Avoidance personality Disorder she said nobody diagnosis people with personality disorders anymore because there is no money in it.
People with Avoidance personality usually are INFJ and I find myself using the word solitude a lot.
Few things make me feel more pathetic than people offering me 'friendship' because they feel bad for me. Maybe it's after I've been so much humiliated by some guy in the last two/three years of elementary school, continuously trying to shout out what a pathetic mess I am, leaving me 'afraid' of being shy or considered shy.
There's nothing more frustrating that WANTING badly to be loved, wanting badly to trust them, trying too hard to be perfect for them, and in the end cutting yourself away from them because you can't deal with all the anxiety, and it feels like being alone would be so much easier.
What is it referred to when you actually enjoy being alone over being in the company of others? Still, social occasions cause anxiety and you suffer from the same conditions you see in social anxiety disorder. I can't really related to APD, because I don't feel lonely and sad about being alone. Actually, I am very happy with my life despite that society says we need to have friends, and be part of some social structure.
Very, very touching! Thank you for this vid...I would just love to ask for the words of the letter (starts around 4:30) English isnt my first language and I find it hard to understand...but I would love to read it.
I am studying this in psychology class and when my teacher went over the symptoms, I almost started crying because this is me. It hurts so bad to feel this way and it hurts even worse to know that very few people, if any, understand.
Really nice video. I'm lucky enough not to have any mental health issues (that I know of) but my little brother has schizoid personality disorder and it makes me feel really bad to think what he and others like him feel like. Also, what's the first song in it? Starts about 0:42 or something
@Shygirl1647 Isn't Schizoid personality disorder when they don't actually want to actually talk to people. There's a difference between Schizoid and Avoidant.
@Shygirl1647 check this out, just got this info from someone who commented below...Yiruma- river flows in you....I actually thought the music was originally created...but it seems like its coming from that piece done by Yiruma.
im 35 and never had a GF and the whole world just thinks im gay cos of that.. but i got severe APD and i love women and i get right to the asking out stage and i stall.. and if the women makes a move i step away and say NO and it looks likes ive been violated.. even though i want them.
got the hots for one girl right now and she's joined the gym i go to so basically i will stop going to the gym, or ignore her, and that sucks
Excellent video documenting the challenge of thinking too much in the context of unpredictable variables... "She might not really like me if she knows who I am." Avoidant individuals do much better in the context of predictable reality, no change. I have treated it successfully for years as Avoidant often exists in the context of too much thinking and diminished executive function associated with no less than ADHD - see here: j55GkfiZbDY
Yes yes, some are blessed with the type personality that attracts everyone as friends, others are blessed with a mental condition that forces them to become a hermit. Way to go.
as a child shyness and then low self-esteem creeped up on me. then i became very unconfident and self-conscious. then apathetic and depressed. then i developed self-loathing and self-condemnation.
as an adult i was very socially anxious. being in any crowded place was very stressful and uncomfortable. sometimes go to parties if i can't avoid it. i have one friend. i'm less self-conscious now.
i have lived where i am over three years, barely spoken three times to one neighbour. Do i have APD?
bmxrder008 - i would argue your idea that "anyone who has this disorder can never truly be happy", because for me, i do feel like i'm happy. i know my boundaries, what i can handle, and i have found things to do that make me happy. there is a lot to look forward to. even though i will never be comfortable with being the center of attention or being looked at in general, i know i have a gift of appreciating the smaller things in life that so many "normal" people seem to take for granted.
2:46 This is basically me in the first grade of kindergarten. The animation also gives a fine depiction of how this disorder comes to be.
And I tend to feel pathetic about my own situation, but this video (even though it's EXACTLY the scenes of my life that involve this disorder) makes it appear a lot more sad than it actually seems to be to me. I just accept being an outcast by my own hand, even though it's often a liability.
Being avoidant doesn't necessarily mean you shut yourself from the outside world. I've known my friends for three to four years, and they know me well that I do not feel the extreme shyness when getting along with them. Although it took me several months of anxiety to finally be confident talking to them. The problem is about making NEW friends or relationships.
@lgoopio I, being avoidant, actually have the tendancy to abrogate existing friendships. Unless these 'friends' look me up all the time so that I'm absolutely convinced I'm not making a mistake by interacting with them.
It's the saddest feeling in the world when you want someone to share your love with, but know that you will never be able to. I know that even if the love of my life called me on the phone or knocked on my front door, I wouldn't answer them, because I'm too afraid that I will let them down. This is why I shut myself in my room and play video games and watch movies- anything to escape the pathetic reality of my existence.
@kikomiko1 i feel the same way. I swear that every time i go out in public, someone is criticizing me. it sucks cuz i can be open, but those negative feelings drag the fuck out of me. It takes an incredible amount of energy just to fight it once, just to pretend like i am not super freaked out when i am forced to socialize. i feel that someone is always judging my body, skin, and the way i act. i want to get help, but i am 18, and still rely on my mom. She and my sis will never let me.
@kikomiko1 That's exactly what I do, every human interaction I have is painful. It's better to have nothing in life, because at least there is no turbulence. There is a constant barrage of negative thoughts in my mind, I find it natural and even a solid defense. With positivity, I feel vulnerable, easily able to be defeated. I hope even my family did not care about me, then I would have no regrets about suicide.
this is depressing as fuk...what the fuck, you made this for a class?...shit. i wsih i could have shown this to the pople in my highschool...hat a horrible time...in college now, and things arent getting any better.
@DesertSmeagle Maybe because you're passively agressive, because you blame people too much. It'll get you Banned/shunned from the open(kind of) arms of society.
@lanegwyn Yes it's possible. Sometimes it's not caused by the environment you grew up in at all. My parents are nice/treat me well, but they weren't involved in my life very much. It's always a good thing to have supportive parents. Sometimes it's caused by peers. Being teased and ridiculed your whole teenage life might not effect one person too much, but another person might develop AvPD because of it.
@kimishim Okay. Thanks for the response. What if someone is not at all teased and ridiculed, but essentially ignored by peers? (What if someone goes through school as a loner). Do you think that could lead to AvPD?
@lanegwyn yes but make sure you get diagnosed by a professional. The diagnosis is one of the most difficult things for any illness be it physical or metal. You need to have a number of conditions for an x ammount of time in order to be diagnosed most of the time. So again, seek help and read as much as you can so that you also have a good understanding. You should know as much as your doctor/therapist/councellor about your illness whatever it turns out to be. Good luck
Oh wow! You guys hit the nail on the head. This is how I feel all the time. I'm in my mid twenties now and I have no real friends to speak of. I had a job but it's no longer sustainable and the thought of finding a new one fills me with a dread that I can't bear. I rarely leave the house or even my bedroom really. You guys did a great job on this video and you should be proud. Congrats!
well i am not diagnozed or anything but have noticed i have most symptoms noticed since early teens but heard anxiety is common in teens so i just took it for that, now in late teens but still have all symptoms and i havent grown out of it. they said the same thing about my shyness in elementary school but aim still shy till this day. i really dont know wat to think anymore
does anyone else here make up long stories of fantasy in their head. like a story youve been imagining for years. one that you can daydream about when you listen to music or play games. i always imagine myself as having some sort of infinite power over everything and the story changes from year to year.
i suffer from Aspergers Syndrome, Avoidant Personality Disorder which has led to severe depression. such is life i guess. hopefully it will all be over soon.
This video shook me a bit. I have suffered from APD my whole life. If it weren't for the support of my family, I would be homeless. I am wary of meeting new people, but I have challenged myself everyday. Exposure is key. I started by just having a simple interaction with a convenience store clerk. As I continued, simple conversations would happen. His opinion about me didn't have to matter. If I offended him, I could just never return to the convenience store. but that never happens.
i am seriously considering committing suicide because of this disorder, i dont know what else to do. i live in voorhees, new jersey. please help me, i have no one who fucking understands the pain i endure everyday
@bmxrder008 hello bmx,i think i feel the same pain as you do ,having the same disorder.Did you get help already? Trust me,suicide is not the solution,i think of it very often too.But there are people that seem to love me,i don't wanna cause them longlife traumas.Go for help,don't choose the easy way.Wish you all the strenght from the netherlands...
this video reminds me...of why i like guitar so much, because its the only thing i can really connect with, even though I want to connect with people, i just cant, i get too anxious
Well, I suppose I have that disorder + asperger autism. I should want to try to smother myself with carbon monoxide lighting a barbecue in a closed room. I have no energy to try anything more creative ;-)
I'm so glad I recently found out about this. I thought I was weak or a freak or something. This sheds so much light on my way of thinking. I have AvPD. And my life kinda sucks because of it. But thanks to this video, I know it's not just me, and that this is a real and inhibiting disorder. And its not my fault that I'm like this. Makes me feel a bit better.
Thank you for this little movie! I am norwegian, and I have the disorder myself. I am 34, an now have live totaly alone for 10 yrs. I have just known this in 2 yrs. Now I KNOW why I react the way I do... This knowledge have made it easier for me to try to lower my anxiety.
Last year I have also found out that I am a Sub in BDSM. I need someone to give me boundaries and rules. And it gives me an extra pleasure to.. I am changing my life, and going to have a GP operation to loose wight NEW LIFE!
yeah and the other thing is that you're dependent on people who give a fck about you because you wont make new friends. It just hurts when these 1-2 people are too busy with their social lives from time to time and they wouldn't even notice if you died overnight
when i saw the picture i almost lost it, the only best friend i have is a total ass, i cant find another cause no one likes me, they always find that one little flaw and they pick and pick and pick and pick at it. I dont even wanna try anymore but everytime i dont try i become empty like i am now...i dont hate my life, but i know it can be better but i just CANT make it better....
the last message really got me... it was so sweet, i'll admit i cried... if only people were that nice, but it seems like most people look at a shy person and see someone really boring or worthless... =.=
i'm pretty sure i have avpd but i'm too shy to go to a doctor... >_>
at home is the only place where i feel comfortable enough to show who i really am... my family are my only friends D'x
Verry beautiful moving animation indeed. I got avpd too i was diagnosed at 27 and yea a lot of things in this animation hit home..Theres a big difference between having avpd and just being shy in general tho... I spend most of my days at home in my room with my doors closed i only come out for groceries.. and thats how i spend the last 10 years of my life..
Right now theres some progression tho but only thanks to meds and 2 years of heavy therapy, I hope some day the sun will shine for me too..
@bartosx Right, there really is a big difference between avpd and being merely shy. Most people mistake us as being the latter. They're dead wrong. It's a mistake that gives us endless cycle of pain.
I have AvPD and I must admit, this made me cry. And that's saying a lot because not many things do. I guess it made me think about my childhood a lot and the whys and hows.
Great animation, great means of awareness. Thank you for making this.
Huh, that last message was touching. It really does make all the difference in the world - when someone says hello, or flashes a smile. Those are hard to come by when you most need them, and it's the little things that matter the most and give you hope to live just a little bit longer.
I watched this video and cried for half an hour. I was diagnosed just this week. since then I've been looking up things about AvPD online. this video says it all. It hurts to see everything I'm thinking and feeling up here but it's good too. so thank you. That's it. I got a youtube account just to say that. thank you.
I actual noticed that i've recently became more of an asshole than i used to be. I would say hurtful things without realising it, they'd just blurt out. I also feel like the last thing i want now is a relationship, even they i know i want one. It's kind of like i can't be bothered being nice any more. I read that avoidants need for a relationship gradually turns into a defensive shell against criticism. Maybe i'm trying to make out that i have no emotional weakness. Any thoughts?
I did an online personality test it said there was high probability that i have this disorder. I'm not as shy as i used to be but it still affects me trying anything new, no matter how simple. I've still never been to a barber by myself, and i have no idea what's stopping me. All i know is that i'm afraid. I have plenty of friends but i still want a relationship.
@JohnnyV47 I'm like you. I can't even go to a drive through and order food because I'm afraid. I kind of have friends but, that was in high school. I graduated in 09 and all I do is stay by myself. I don't have a job because I think I'll mess up and look like an idiot because I don't know what I'm doing. Also about the girl thing. Im 18 and have never had a gf nor kiss. Never touched a girl either. I also want a relationship but I have no experience in dating and am afraid of rejection.
This has been flagged as spam show
i thought APD was about avoiding people who come too close.
obaidCarkey 2 days ago
@PuddiNovaXZ I know exactly what you mean. If someone messages me on Facebook/ YouTube or whatever, I just can't type back because I keep thinking my response will sound retarded and dumb. For example if someone responds to this comment I've made I KNOW I WON'T respond back. :(
FlavourLikeIceCream 3 days ago
Omg, the story of my life. I hadn't found something that describes what I'm living until I watched this
a1117100 3 days ago
FOREVER ALONE.
simoncpu 4 days ago
Sad...... it makes me want to talk to a person under my situation but somehow.... its hard for me to keep in contact bc im so avoidant.
PuddiNovaXZ 6 days ago
this was bittersweet. bitter because it is something i can relate too but sweet because of the cute animation and the ending message.
MezDespencer 2 weeks ago
so sad, well hope I can have it better some other life!
This one is just going to be this way
jianfeishao 3 weeks ago
When my dad asks for me to go for a walk or go into town with him, I do get afraid of what people will think when I'm out and say no I'll stay. (On my computer.. and not do anything outside of my room)
MusikkIzMiLiffee 1 month ago
Well.. I don't know if I am but I'm 14 and I go on the computer a lot I mean A LOT and I play a game on the internet that I'm almost addicted to but that has really only a small part of what I have to say right now. I am prettyu antisocial and I fear being in the grocery store or any public place because I'm afraid people judge me all the time.. Like all the time. At school it's fine I have overflowing confidence but if I'm with any family or alone I get afraid.
MusikkIzMiLiffee 1 month ago
I got bit by a brown recluse and took my husband's percocet that night I could think so clear, my mind slowed down and I could focus like I never have in my life. It was so cool to concentrate at that level. When I pray at night my mind is all over the place, when I took that percocet I talked to God like I have never talked to God, my mind stayed focused on what I was saying. Funny that I have never taken but that one pill. Has anyone had that happen to them while taking percocet?
Kyjo34 1 month ago
dat Rurouni Kenshin ost
l3luesummers 2 months ago
I have avoidant disorder, born with it if you ask me. I felt different, couldn't communicate very well. Scared to death of rejection so it was better to just stay quiet and not bring attention to yourself. I was lost in my own mind, not really paying any attention to my surroundings or the people around me. Well you get left fast when you are not part of your surroundings. I had A.D.D. and avoidance, man life is hard on you when you have these disorders. You just don't belong wherever you go.
Kyjo34 2 months ago
@Kyjo34 I'm so sorry...that sounds like a horrible combination to deal with. Always bouncing off the walls, but not wanting people to notice you. X
purity4all 1 month ago
@purity4all It was horrible but I lived through it. I realize that the hyper was part of too much caffiene, sugar and lack of minerals like zinc. Too much copper and not enough zinc and your mind races like flipping through a book real fast. I don't know about the avoidance, sitll struggle with that one. If I could communicate better I would not be so avoidant. I never know what to say or how to say it. My words come out so stupid that I just avoid the embarrassment and smile.
Kyjo34 1 month ago
@Kyjo34 Glad you figured it out. Wonder if I should have my son's mineral levels checked? He's been hyper his whole life. You express yourself well in written words at least.
purity4all 1 month ago
@purity4all The more sugar you eat the more your zinc levels drop at least that is whay I have read. One time I experimented and started to take large doses of zinc, after a few days I started to notice that I was paying attentiont to detail like bumper stickers and signs when before my mind of been jumping too fast to zoom in on any small detail. It was like my world slowed down and I wasn't in hurry and moved slower. The problem that I had was that I started to get real depressed and....
Kyjo34 1 month ago
@purity4all and I lost all interest in the things that I liked. Once I layed off the zinc and started to take copper supplements again I got happy again and picked up on my interrest and my mind started to race again. I realized after that experiment that I would choose hyper state any day over black depression. I can see how a person could kill themselves when they get in a state like that. That may be why you here people kill themelves on antidepressants. Read up on copper toxicity.
Kyjo34 1 month ago
@Kyjo34 Huh, that's interesting. I actually thought I had copper toxicity and had a copper iud removed because of it. Kind of makes me think. Thanks for the info.
purity4all 1 month ago
@purity4all I have zinc and copper supplements help my female issues. I just don't want to talk about it here. Did you know copper is high when your estrogen is high and that zinc helps the body produce progesterone? Google progesterone and zinc and then estrogen and copper and you will be amazed at how much minerals effect your hormones, mind and personality. You are what you eat I guess ha ha.
Kyjo34 1 month ago
@Kyjo34 understandable, I thought twice about posting about my issue too. I will definitely look up the copper and estrogen, zinc and progesterone connections. And yes we really are what we eat. Thanks again for the info.
purity4all 1 month ago
And kill myself cause no one will care
NelsonRodriguezFTW 2 months ago
@NelsonRodriguezFTW Why do you think people with avoidance disorder are incapable of love? Don't listen to eharmony, they're only after peoples money in the first place. If you truly feel you're in incapable of love, look up narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder and no matter what disorder you feel you might have, get help.
purity4all 1 month ago
All disorders seem like bullshit but I could really relate to this one I only found this cause this disorder was related to people incapable of love cause thats what eharmony told me so now I know I was born to die alone and Ive been isolating myself from everybody cause the world is full of scum living in my generation everyone just seems so fucking fake i usually solve my problems with violence and dont socialize with their kind so I figured I got five years I'm gonna save my money see Malays
NelsonRodriguezFTW 2 months ago
i know i have this and im getting worse i smile around my family but all i want to do is cry as a mexican i find my culture doesnt even believe in dis sorta thing and when i have tried socializing with my one good friend im unable to speakaround other people an feel like burden to him now i cant even face him i dont know how much mor i can take this
Orlando341 2 months ago
@citrcitri
Agree 100%.
mjc71189 2 months ago
@silverthunder100
That is exactly how I am. Whenever I am around other musicians I feel like I'm at home. It is very difficult to talk to other people even though I desire to. I feel like no one really cares what i have to say even though i know that isnt true. I haven't been diagnosed with APD, but I sure fit the description. This video brings up a lot of memories. Thank you.
mjc71189 2 months ago
Im a 19 yrs old guy and i cried when i watched this. Hadn't cried in years.I can relate so much to that moment when school ends,or the other moments where the other friends are all playing and laughing together.
MauiWowie00hi 2 months ago
This was very difficult to watch..I, acctually, am unsure if I'm an AvPD or what. I'm very mature for the young age I am, don't have very many friends, and at times it is hard to talk to people. However, I'm also a musician, and when I'm around other musicians, it's not a problem at all! Outside of the music world, there's others for me to talk to aswell. Is this still AvPD?
Silverthunder100 3 months ago
Aw, this was so hard to watch :( i have avoidant personality disorder, and a some of depressed and borderline personality disorder (thats what am diagnosed)
the results of this for me, is that im cutting and thinking of suicide everyday. :/ but luckily i got help from psychologists. I think why i got this disorder. (i dunno why and guess i'll never know.) but maybe it was becuz my brother have autism and adhd and asperger, and i've always been on my own becuz my brother needed more attention..
cevie11 3 months ago
whats the song at 2:57
sethephraim 3 months ago
painful cuz I can relate I mean
foraminutethere23 3 months ago
Geez that was painful to watch. Reminds me of the depressed egg commercial for zoloft.
foraminutethere23 3 months ago
I cried. I do have this problem.
pugs321 3 months ago
The narration at the end doesn't fit. Not that they're the wrong words, but any words don't have the impact that just the images do. Right at the beginning, the cobwebs on the phone, yikes....
HailAnts 3 months ago
Damnit, your animation made me cry. *sigh* I have APD and you did well in portraying the loneliness and fear of rejection that people with APD suffer from. Thanks for making this video.
user19191 3 months ago
This video made me cry cause i have APD
arieskieta17 3 months ago
I'm an 18 year old girl with APD. I have literally been shit on by absolutely everyone I ever loved in life, in the most horrific ways possible. I was bullies at school by pretty much everyone. I was bullied by my olser brothers, even my friends and rejected by my family. I've found that being stuck indoors, continued*
FlavourLikeIceCream 4 months ago
I'm almost certain I have this disorder.
NinjaBunnii99 4 months ago
This video is too melodramatic. It's not like I just walk around and cry all day. Sure it's a humongous part of life but it's not like having a teary soundtrack to everything. It's just awkwardness and tension and fear and self-loathing. Also, people trying to be friendly isn't hugely helpful since as it stands, being social in a meaningful way would just be too stressful and complicated. Also there's nothing quite as demeaning as having somebody be nice to you out of pity.
citricitri 4 months ago 2
from minute 2 its so true
PayChkSlaveRebellion 4 months ago
this is my exact situation. i almost cried because of the resemblance.
number150000 4 months ago 4
Although there are no "common" things that can cause AVPD, it has been shown in studies that those who've been abused emotionally and/or physically are more likely to have this affliction than others. I personally think heredity has nothing to do with it; two outgoing parents could have a child with AVPD.
hdkwc 4 months ago
I'm positive I have this disorder. It's not a condition that suddenly appeared to plague my life, it has actually always existed throughout my existence. I dread to think this is a lifelong behavioral pattern. It seems as though you're an elderly person even when you're still young. Aging does not cause it to subside, so if I find no way out of this problem I hope not much still lies ahead in the future.
Avoidantts 4 months ago
story of my life.. haa
kimberlyssy 4 months ago
I have AvPD and am bipolar too. I have friends because people from my congregation have tried to include me. They tell me they miss me if I shut myself in. The psychiatrist stabilized me as depressed because my stomach couldn't handle lithium. I pulled back from people - hid online. Even after they a year later changed my medicine I didn't see people because I was more or less agoraphobic by then. The internet is my friend and my connection to the world without having to leave my apartment.
hb98rml 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I tried to post a comment but I keep on erasing it and write another. I just wanted to say that I have AvPD and that I'm 6 years in college already. The reason is I don't attend classes because you know why. Just before I step into a classroom, my anxiety sets in, and so decides to go home instead. So fcvked up.
lgoopio 4 months ago
I tried to post a comment but I keep on erasing it and write another. I just wanted to say that I have AvPD and that I'm 6 years in college already. The reason is I don't attend classes because you know why. Just before I step into a classroom, my anxiety sets in, and so decides to go home instead. So fvcked up.
lgoopio 4 months ago
I really cried watching this....
MauiWowie00hi 5 months ago
I just cried my eyes out watching this...I'm still crying now...that guy in the animation is me. :(
Still, the fact that I identify so closely to a known, apparently treatable condition does give me hope. Thank you for making this.
InvisibleKid88 5 months ago
Ok. I really like the song but I haven't heard it in a while till I watched this vid. There's a Wikipedia article on AvPD. I read it and I was so uncomfortable at how accurately it described my situation. Sucks sooooo fuckin much
russ42790 5 months ago
Yiruma- river flows in you. That's the song. I knew I heard it somewhere
russ42790 5 months ago
@russ42790 ....Thanks...just listened and its the same song.....honestly thought it was an original creation....
elitehowie 5 months ago
:'(
maxceleo 5 months ago
@Shygirl1647 Kiseki - Gundam Seed Destiny
Achenar15 5 months ago
THIS made me cry the whole time T^T because i had personal connection to my life
SimmehX3 5 months ago
@kikomiko1 do u let down people because ur actually afraid to let them down???
soulhasnoname 6 months ago
How to perceive them if they want to call the cops?
soulhasnoname 6 months ago
It's me
Anelamperouge 6 months ago
Ha! Story of my life.
TheEditor80 6 months ago
wow, sometimes when i walk in crowdy places i think people will judge the way i walk and i get nervous :(
fellerredseller 6 months ago
@fellerredseller Judge? Yes, they really do! That's the trouble you'll have so long as you're co-existing with fellow humans.
TheCenturion1 6 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Anyone can tell me if i have Avoidant Personality Disorder my children will
also get it or not ???
swaragho 6 months ago
Anyone can tell me if i have Avoidant Personality Disorder my children will
also get it or not
swaragho 6 months ago
@swaragho, there is no real evidence to suggest that avoidant personality disorder is hereditary or follows any gender pattern.
elitehowie 6 months ago 2
@elitehowie
But it is most likely conditioned by heredity, there were no triggering points or traumas in my life that caused me this.
Avoidantts 4 months ago
@swaragho My theory is that Avoidant Personality Disorder is primarily a learned behavior, for example in this video the main character learned from his father's reaction to him having fun that ALL people will react like that to him. I think most likely that the only hereditary aspect of it is that those who are born with a more sensitive personality are at more risk of Avoidant Personality disorder as they will react to rejection more sensitively and take rejection more personally.
milescend 4 months ago
It's like having a curse that you have to live with. I haven't even uploaded videos of myself because I'm afraid people will think negative of me, the way I act and look, even if people think I'm pretty, I just don't believe it. Everything is like a lie to me. I don't even like eating in front of other people, but when I'm hungry, I have to eat. When I take a bite out of something, I'm always watching others just to see if they're not thinking "Oh look at the way that pathetic girl eats"
clover220 7 months ago 14
@clover220 The world is a horrible place to be in. It really is. People in general, will always have something bad to say about someone or something. It's a fact.
TheCenturion1 7 months ago
@TheCenturion1 I get what you're saying. Sometimes I don't even feel comfortable around my family because I feel like they talk bad about me when I'm not around. It sucks to be in this terrible world.
clover220 7 months ago
@clover220 The trouble is, how could a person with APD co-exist with the world? Hey, wait. is it really a disorder? I think it's a normal reaction, or a much better term is "defence mechanism". That's how I look at it. I'm not officially diagnosed as having an avoidant personality, but from the way I behave and the way I think, and me in relation to others, it exactly fits my profile. But you see, if one has low expectations, you'll never go wrong. I mean, if you expect them to say bad things, >
TheCenturion1 7 months ago
@clover220 > it would be a lot less of a frustration. And in your case, your family. After all, it isn't at all impossible for them to talk ill of you. "People saying bad things all around"--Evidence of which is very easy to find. Just look around youtube. It's the sum of all the behaviours of people around the world crammed in a single website.
TheCenturion1 7 months ago
Thanks for this beautifully done (kind & compassionate too) video.
When I told my therapist about Avoidance personality Disorder she said nobody diagnosis people with personality disorders anymore because there is no money in it.
People with Avoidance personality usually are INFJ and I find myself using the word solitude a lot.
anqele 8 months ago
Thank you, Rhiannon my best friend for saving me =')
Toxicslime1 8 months ago
'being a friend to someone you think is shy'
Few things make me feel more pathetic than people offering me 'friendship' because they feel bad for me. Maybe it's after I've been so much humiliated by some guy in the last two/three years of elementary school, continuously trying to shout out what a pathetic mess I am, leaving me 'afraid' of being shy or considered shy.
DrsJacksonn 8 months ago
There's nothing more frustrating that WANTING badly to be loved, wanting badly to trust them, trying too hard to be perfect for them, and in the end cutting yourself away from them because you can't deal with all the anxiety, and it feels like being alone would be so much easier.
KeahtasRage 8 months ago 2
this poor park ranger is probably where i'll end up.....
battlecatfour 8 months ago
.............
marszgee 8 months ago
ffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccccccck :[
mrrlazyboi 8 months ago
What is it referred to when you actually enjoy being alone over being in the company of others? Still, social occasions cause anxiety and you suffer from the same conditions you see in social anxiety disorder. I can't really related to APD, because I don't feel lonely and sad about being alone. Actually, I am very happy with my life despite that society says we need to have friends, and be part of some social structure.
jathgnos 9 months ago
Very, very touching! Thank you for this vid...I would just love to ask for the words of the letter (starts around 4:30) English isnt my first language and I find it hard to understand...but I would love to read it.
Emerelle03 9 months ago
I also think there is no cure. Went to a shyness group for four years but still have as many problems making friends.
clealuira 9 months ago
Yeah I have this, it sure does suck. My husband and child are the only friends I have. It's a pretty disabling disorder for social relationships.
clealuira 9 months ago
@clealuira Oh, God I feel like u. I though I'm the only person I feel it.. It feels hopeless..
my88music 9 months ago
I am studying this in psychology class and when my teacher went over the symptoms, I almost started crying because this is me. It hurts so bad to feel this way and it hurts even worse to know that very few people, if any, understand.
MsGemini528 9 months ago
Really nice video. I'm lucky enough not to have any mental health issues (that I know of) but my little brother has schizoid personality disorder and it makes me feel really bad to think what he and others like him feel like. Also, what's the first song in it? Starts about 0:42 or something
Shygirl1647 9 months ago 2
@Shygirl1647 It actually doesn't have a name... my teammate created the music for the sole purpose of this animation.
elitehowie 9 months ago
@Shygirl1647 Isn't Schizoid personality disorder when they don't actually want to actually talk to people. There's a difference between Schizoid and Avoidant.
Toxicslime1 8 months ago
@Shygirl1647 check this out, just got this info from someone who commented below...Yiruma- river flows in you....I actually thought the music was originally created...but it seems like its coming from that piece done by Yiruma.
elitehowie 5 months ago
I too suffer from AVPD and cried through this short film because it hits so close to home.
blacksugr1 9 months ago
im 35 and never had a GF and the whole world just thinks im gay cos of that.. but i got severe APD and i love women and i get right to the asking out stage and i stall.. and if the women makes a move i step away and say NO and it looks likes ive been violated.. even though i want them.
got the hots for one girl right now and she's joined the gym i go to so basically i will stop going to the gym, or ignore her, and that sucks
helicopterraids 9 months ago
sorry to any1 who also has this, i certainly no im fucked :/
urbansoulzz 9 months ago
it looks so familiar that I started crying :(
samurang87 9 months ago 2
@samurang87 Me, too.
romica1969 9 months ago
Thank you...
kurohime23 10 months ago
Comment removed
DrCharlesParker 10 months ago
Excellent video documenting the challenge of thinking too much in the context of unpredictable variables... "She might not really like me if she knows who I am." Avoidant individuals do much better in the context of predictable reality, no change. I have treated it successfully for years as Avoidant often exists in the context of too much thinking and diminished executive function associated with no less than ADHD - see here: j55GkfiZbDY
DrCharlesParker 10 months ago
Yes yes, some are blessed with the type personality that attracts everyone as friends, others are blessed with a mental condition that forces them to become a hermit. Way to go.
DrsJacksonn 10 months ago
After 42 years of pain I couldn't help crying for 7 minutes and 9 seconds.
kellemes2 10 months ago 37
as a child shyness and then low self-esteem creeped up on me. then i became very unconfident and self-conscious. then apathetic and depressed. then i developed self-loathing and self-condemnation.
as an adult i was very socially anxious. being in any crowded place was very stressful and uncomfortable. sometimes go to parties if i can't avoid it. i have one friend. i'm less self-conscious now.
i have lived where i am over three years, barely spoken three times to one neighbour. Do i have APD?
VuduLee 10 months ago
bmxrder008 - i would argue your idea that "anyone who has this disorder can never truly be happy", because for me, i do feel like i'm happy. i know my boundaries, what i can handle, and i have found things to do that make me happy. there is a lot to look forward to. even though i will never be comfortable with being the center of attention or being looked at in general, i know i have a gift of appreciating the smaller things in life that so many "normal" people seem to take for granted.
DebNSusan1 11 months ago 3
2:46 This is basically me in the first grade of kindergarten. The animation also gives a fine depiction of how this disorder comes to be.
And I tend to feel pathetic about my own situation, but this video (even though it's EXACTLY the scenes of my life that involve this disorder) makes it appear a lot more sad than it actually seems to be to me. I just accept being an outcast by my own hand, even though it's often a liability.
DrsJacksonn 11 months ago 2
Being avoidant doesn't necessarily mean you shut yourself from the outside world. I've known my friends for three to four years, and they know me well that I do not feel the extreme shyness when getting along with them. Although it took me several months of anxiety to finally be confident talking to them. The problem is about making NEW friends or relationships.
lgoopio 11 months ago 6
@lgoopio I, being avoidant, actually have the tendancy to abrogate existing friendships. Unless these 'friends' look me up all the time so that I'm absolutely convinced I'm not making a mistake by interacting with them.
DrsJacksonn 11 months ago
@Bluesage2009
Shit... So there is no hope for people like us...
catbaril444 1 year ago
Good to see that I'm not the only one suffering from this.
ftheGOP 1 year ago
Im 32, i have endured this most of my life........
Even after sorting myself out, reading 2000 self help books, spirituality on and on, i still i am still afflicted with this.
Bluesage2009 1 year ago
@Bluesage2009 Me too and I'm 31. I have trouble in relationships.
LuV4RoBnFaB 11 months ago
@Bluesage2009 i wonder if a one plank of AVPD is a complex of self-avoidance.
sferemonk 10 months ago
It's the saddest feeling in the world when you want someone to share your love with, but know that you will never be able to. I know that even if the love of my life called me on the phone or knocked on my front door, I wouldn't answer them, because I'm too afraid that I will let them down. This is why I shut myself in my room and play video games and watch movies- anything to escape the pathetic reality of my existence.
kikomiko1 1 year ago 45
@kikomiko1 i feel the same way. I swear that every time i go out in public, someone is criticizing me. it sucks cuz i can be open, but those negative feelings drag the fuck out of me. It takes an incredible amount of energy just to fight it once, just to pretend like i am not super freaked out when i am forced to socialize. i feel that someone is always judging my body, skin, and the way i act. i want to get help, but i am 18, and still rely on my mom. She and my sis will never let me.
shazzaforeverthabest 6 months ago 3
@kikomiko1 That's exactly what I do, every human interaction I have is painful. It's better to have nothing in life, because at least there is no turbulence. There is a constant barrage of negative thoughts in my mind, I find it natural and even a solid defense. With positivity, I feel vulnerable, easily able to be defeated. I hope even my family did not care about me, then I would have no regrets about suicide.
chirayut 5 months ago 13
The intro is too long and what is with the swinging balls??
sarahminty 1 year ago
it's a slow death by a thousand painful emotional cuts.....
TheRealNickBravo 1 year ago 3
this is depressing as fuk...what the fuck, you made this for a class?...shit. i wsih i could have shown this to the pople in my highschool...hat a horrible time...in college now, and things arent getting any better.
DesertSmeagle 1 year ago
@DesertSmeagle Maybe because you're passively agressive, because you blame people too much. It'll get you Banned/shunned from the open(kind of) arms of society.
Nukefuzion 1 year ago
you guys are sadists
ezhicheg 1 year ago
Is it possible to have APD without having been at all abused/ neglected/ treated badly by parents?
lanegwyn 1 year ago
@lanegwyn Yes it's possible. Sometimes it's not caused by the environment you grew up in at all. My parents are nice/treat me well, but they weren't involved in my life very much. It's always a good thing to have supportive parents. Sometimes it's caused by peers. Being teased and ridiculed your whole teenage life might not effect one person too much, but another person might develop AvPD because of it.
kimishim 1 year ago
@kimishim Okay. Thanks for the response. What if someone is not at all teased and ridiculed, but essentially ignored by peers? (What if someone goes through school as a loner). Do you think that could lead to AvPD?
lanegwyn 1 year ago
@lanegwyn yes but make sure you get diagnosed by a professional. The diagnosis is one of the most difficult things for any illness be it physical or metal. You need to have a number of conditions for an x ammount of time in order to be diagnosed most of the time. So again, seek help and read as much as you can so that you also have a good understanding. You should know as much as your doctor/therapist/councellor about your illness whatever it turns out to be. Good luck
ferdo621 1 year ago
i remember when fantasing perfection used to be fun, then i was told i had APD :( ;(
spoutman 1 year ago
does anyone know what song is playing at 3:58-4:14?
lightinthedusk 1 year ago
AvPD it's kinda like being in a cage, watching the world behind bars.
SimplyTehDopest 1 year ago 6
Somebody just thought of making a video of my life.
VictorHugo289mex 1 year ago 2
Comment removed
LeonDeLaMole 1 year ago
Oh wow! You guys hit the nail on the head. This is how I feel all the time. I'm in my mid twenties now and I have no real friends to speak of. I had a job but it's no longer sustainable and the thought of finding a new one fills me with a dread that I can't bear. I rarely leave the house or even my bedroom really. You guys did a great job on this video and you should be proud. Congrats!
UnknownAuthority 1 year ago
well i am not diagnozed or anything but have noticed i have most symptoms noticed since early teens but heard anxiety is common in teens so i just took it for that, now in late teens but still have all symptoms and i havent grown out of it. they said the same thing about my shyness in elementary school but aim still shy till this day. i really dont know wat to think anymore
runrockwater 1 year ago
does anyone else here make up long stories of fantasy in their head. like a story youve been imagining for years. one that you can daydream about when you listen to music or play games. i always imagine myself as having some sort of infinite power over everything and the story changes from year to year.
shadeosborne 1 year ago
@shadeosborne
I do that allll the timeee.
VDUBber91 1 year ago
i suffer from Aspergers Syndrome, Avoidant Personality Disorder which has led to severe depression. such is life i guess. hopefully it will all be over soon.
shadeosborne 1 year ago
ok AVPD is shit i know, being lonely is the worst form of poverty. Soooo, what steps are you making to your life?
elephantwig 1 year ago
This video shook me a bit. I have suffered from APD my whole life. If it weren't for the support of my family, I would be homeless. I am wary of meeting new people, but I have challenged myself everyday. Exposure is key. I started by just having a simple interaction with a convenience store clerk. As I continued, simple conversations would happen. His opinion about me didn't have to matter. If I offended him, I could just never return to the convenience store. but that never happens.
ImpyNickers 1 year ago
i am seriously considering committing suicide because of this disorder, i dont know what else to do. i live in voorhees, new jersey. please help me, i have no one who fucking understands the pain i endure everyday
bmxrder008 1 year ago
@bmxrder008 hello bmx,i think i feel the same pain as you do ,having the same disorder.Did you get help already? Trust me,suicide is not the solution,i think of it very often too.But there are people that seem to love me,i don't wanna cause them longlife traumas.Go for help,don't choose the easy way.Wish you all the strenght from the netherlands...
62Evergreen 1 year ago
:,(
Painnnnful 1 year ago
Gosh, that hurt.
julianparge 1 year ago
Were it not for the internet I don't think I could survive.
Were it not for the internet I wouldn't be this bad.
Delete as required.
asubjectiveopinion 1 year ago
this video reminds me...of why i like guitar so much, because its the only thing i can really connect with, even though I want to connect with people, i just cant, i get too anxious
TheFoRizzles 1 year ago
I'm a former miss pageant and people say I'm so beautiful all the time.
But I might have this disorder. I find doing grocery shopping incredibly difficult, feel like people criticize me all the time.
I have to check myself in the mirror endlessly just to have enough confidence to walk in a room full of people.
Even though I might be esthetically representative and people usually look at me because of my outer beauty, I still am so insecure and shy.
mojitobanana 1 year ago
EliteHowie What music is this ?
Xavier34111 1 year ago
@Xavier34111
The music was created specifically for this animation...i don't think we even gave it a name...
elitehowie 1 year ago 3
@Xavier34111 The song is called 'The river flows in you' by Yurima.
Funny.. I listen to that song a lot, I know every tone, and I just found out that I have avoidant personality disorder a half an hour ago.
wtfisditvoorbullshit 1 year ago
@Xavier34111 It sounds very similar to moondance by van morrison
VamLoveAndKisses 1 year ago
@Xavier34111 Actually its yuma yuma..
Lesrevil08 1 year ago
Well, I suppose I have that disorder + asperger autism. I should want to try to smother myself with carbon monoxide lighting a barbecue in a closed room. I have no energy to try anything more creative ;-)
Khamug 1 year ago
I'm so glad I recently found out about this. I thought I was weak or a freak or something. This sheds so much light on my way of thinking. I have AvPD. And my life kinda sucks because of it. But thanks to this video, I know it's not just me, and that this is a real and inhibiting disorder. And its not my fault that I'm like this. Makes me feel a bit better.
w1090 1 year ago
Thank you for this little movie! I am norwegian, and I have the disorder myself. I am 34, an now have live totaly alone for 10 yrs. I have just known this in 2 yrs. Now I KNOW why I react the way I do... This knowledge have made it easier for me to try to lower my anxiety.
Last year I have also found out that I am a Sub in BDSM. I need someone to give me boundaries and rules. And it gives me an extra pleasure to.. I am changing my life, and going to have a GP operation to loose wight NEW LIFE!
isuzulisa 1 year ago
yeah and the other thing is that you're dependent on people who give a fck about you because you wont make new friends. It just hurts when these 1-2 people are too busy with their social lives from time to time and they wouldn't even notice if you died overnight
d43d41u52 1 year ago
the music came up i thought someone tricked me into watching 2 girls 1 cup my words "NNNOOOOOO"
frantixdog 1 year ago
when i saw the picture i almost lost it, the only best friend i have is a total ass, i cant find another cause no one likes me, they always find that one little flaw and they pick and pick and pick and pick at it. I dont even wanna try anymore but everytime i dont try i become empty like i am now...i dont hate my life, but i know it can be better but i just CANT make it better....
TheFoRizzles 1 year ago
4:31 Samurai X music :D fucking owns!
bmthnumber1 1 year ago
Comment removed
Arcanepariah1 1 year ago
I have this. Probably the worst personality disorder that you could have. At least a schizoid doesn't know that there's anything wrong with him lol.
oChairmano 1 year ago
the last message really got me... it was so sweet, i'll admit i cried... if only people were that nice, but it seems like most people look at a shy person and see someone really boring or worthless... =.=
i'm pretty sure i have avpd but i'm too shy to go to a doctor... >_>
at home is the only place where i feel comfortable enough to show who i really am... my family are my only friends D'x
CrappleFartini 1 year ago
Verry beautiful moving animation indeed. I got avpd too i was diagnosed at 27 and yea a lot of things in this animation hit home..Theres a big difference between having avpd and just being shy in general tho... I spend most of my days at home in my room with my doors closed i only come out for groceries.. and thats how i spend the last 10 years of my life..
Right now theres some progression tho but only thanks to meds and 2 years of heavy therapy, I hope some day the sun will shine for me too..
bartosx 1 year ago
@bartosx Right, there really is a big difference between avpd and being merely shy. Most people mistake us as being the latter. They're dead wrong. It's a mistake that gives us endless cycle of pain.
TheCenturion1 1 year ago
I have AvPD and I must admit, this made me cry. And that's saying a lot because not many things do. I guess it made me think about my childhood a lot and the whys and hows.
Great animation, great means of awareness. Thank you for making this.
GeneStarwind09 1 year ago
i hate getting old without having friends T_T
its hard to live like this.
sethephraim 1 year ago 3
This video is making me cry. I can be just like that.
Charades4Life 1 year ago
Huh, that last message was touching. It really does make all the difference in the world - when someone says hello, or flashes a smile. Those are hard to come by when you most need them, and it's the little things that matter the most and give you hope to live just a little bit longer.
-APD Sufferer
ZarMulix 1 year ago
I just found out about this disorder...and cried because almost all of the symptoms matched my behavior.
Ecite 1 year ago
I watched this video and cried for half an hour. I was diagnosed just this week. since then I've been looking up things about AvPD online. this video says it all. It hurts to see everything I'm thinking and feeling up here but it's good too. so thank you. That's it. I got a youtube account just to say that. thank you.
thelazygenius123 1 year ago
I think we should isolate diagnosis for people who have this disorder when they get out of puberty.
SourBasket 1 year ago
I actual noticed that i've recently became more of an asshole than i used to be. I would say hurtful things without realising it, they'd just blurt out. I also feel like the last thing i want now is a relationship, even they i know i want one. It's kind of like i can't be bothered being nice any more. I read that avoidants need for a relationship gradually turns into a defensive shell against criticism. Maybe i'm trying to make out that i have no emotional weakness. Any thoughts?
JohnnyV47 1 year ago
I did an online personality test it said there was high probability that i have this disorder. I'm not as shy as i used to be but it still affects me trying anything new, no matter how simple. I've still never been to a barber by myself, and i have no idea what's stopping me. All i know is that i'm afraid. I have plenty of friends but i still want a relationship.
JohnnyV47 1 year ago
@JohnnyV47 I'm like you. I can't even go to a drive through and order food because I'm afraid. I kind of have friends but, that was in high school. I graduated in 09 and all I do is stay by myself. I don't have a job because I think I'll mess up and look like an idiot because I don't know what I'm doing. Also about the girl thing. Im 18 and have never had a gf nor kiss. Never touched a girl either. I also want a relationship but I have no experience in dating and am afraid of rejection.
MrHogGamer 1 year ago
This a very good animation!!! Touching ...
XISJAY 1 year ago