The Irish Mental Health Hotline Answering Machine

[cristaltophat]

does that mean you press 8 if your completely scane

[wickerman6121]

I have too many things to press. Not to mention I'm waiting for the beep, and for them to trace my call...

[imapuredork]

lol hahahah

[crazyviking24]

3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 for me.

[ChipArgyle]

Oh noes. What do I do if I suffer from a number of those issues?

[knowledgeablewaffle]

But 1 isn't my number... I'd have to press 1 like so: 111111111111111111111

Now there are too many '1''s in this comment. Fml.

[ThePrestonChannel]

i have this for my Voice mail ! lol

[BloodyxNightmair]

lol omg this sooo made my day.xD lol I'm so gonna put this on my answering machine or as a ringtone.xD

[supernova2411]

what makes it irish

[cruisauk]

@supernova2411 Are you American?

[supernova2411]

@cruisauk unfortunatly yes but, does it mean anything

[cruisauk]

@supernova2411 Well its sort of a British humour thing that goes on with 'Irish' jokes. The guy who actually speaks on the message is Irish & has an Irish accent. I suppose some Americans don't realise the Irish joke culture thing. Its not racist or anything, its something that's gone on for ever. I don't think there's ever any insult intended, & probably you Americans have a 'target' yourselves for the but of jokes. I think most countries do actually.

[supernova2411]

@cruisauk okay thankyou =)

[DisturbedChick95]

HA! It just killed me! Now THIS is my kind of answering machine!

[ederoose]

this is so cute! lol and so true! like your humor in this. will laugh all day, ha ha thinking of this video. if we can't laugh what's life? make anymore let me know! Hope you have a good day! keep up good works! lvoe you soldiers from ireland, you beautiful men.

[DexRichiezeHolanizel]

6 9 6 9 6 9...

[thefranster14]

well lads, i suppose nothin will help with our problems but guiness!! 

[AlexanderT21]

If your paranoid we know where you are and what you want, stay on the line and we'll trace your call.

[ThereSaSpiderNMySoup]

I am sooo going to make this my message for whenever I can't answer the phone!

[xxluteyxx]

press # to repeat these options !

[JMoe2016]

Anybody wanna press two for me?

[theblacckreaper]

@JMoe2016 i will ''2''

[JMoe2016]

@theblacckreaper Thank you, good sir/ma'am.

[kennymedd]

111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­1111111111

[ptrad91]

anyone know wut that number is

[64kismet]

Just brilliant advice:-))) Thanks for posting this first aid vid...hahahaha

[TACYELLA11]

@64kismet haha :-D

[TACYELLA11]

@64kismet 'Someones' fingers should be sore,lolz

[64kismet]

@TACYELLA11

Shaking hands making all better...the whisky goes not only by gulp...its moistened perfect...wonder a wee about his pee behaviour....but that goes to far...lmao

[fairhillnorrie]

love it.... its mad !!

[klbozwell]

dude, my brother is paranoid, and he would not stay on that hotline.

[67wicked]

if you have ocd please concentrate on exactly how many other people have put their ears to the handset you are holding.

lol (not meant to be offensive- )

[Cipher1928]

The end of the last line is cut off, it should be in its entirety "...and if you have low self-esteem, hang up, all of our operators are too busy to talk to you."

[cruisauk]

@Cipher1928

Correct :-) 

[Malee1995]

the real irish one would be "we all have our problems"

[MrReymoclif714]

When I went Schizo 30 years ago I spent 9 days trying to make :CONTACT" with the mothership! After the straightjacket and three months in the Vermont State Hospital I still have not been picked up by the secret society. Wuh Hoppennd?

[123456bse]

I LOVE IT..I NEED THIS ON MY PHONE...

[DxDscarz]

the mothership?! SO IT IS REAL

[fiestormable]

OMG there gonna trace my call

[sadqirlx]

Luv it lol

[Speth72]

I think I would have to press every number at once!!!!

[tstone1989]

lol i love it

[Auricdeath]

I just recorded this as my answer machine message xD

[kauitheutau]

-presses8,9 and 0,- what the little voice told me to press that

[IluvDeidaraandShika]

111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­1111111111111111111111111111..­.

[JMoe2016]

Fwteqrg

[WackedOutAnimeLuva]

.....-stays on the line-.....

[eternallytimeless]

I just noticed that he's telling us to press the numbers but all the phones in the video are rotary dial phones. lol

[Insulaintercalx]

if you are paranoid we know what you are and what you want stay on the line and we will trace you call

[DaisyHades]

Lol I love this! XD

[MichaelJJluver4ever]

after the beep plz wait for the beep lol luv it

[alabamabeaver]

This became my answering machine message XD

[WildWarriorQueen]

hahaha brilliant!

[homisydal]

Psychiatric Hotline: 973-409-3277 Outsource-A-Friendship To India: 267-436-5128 How To Keep an Idiot Entertained: 401-285-0696 April Fools Day Assistance Hotline: 413-497-0033 Best Valentines Gift EVER: 973-409-3278 Call The Easter Bunny!: 973-409-3313 Almost... to Voicemail: 973-409-3264 Employment Hotline: 401-992-4052 St. Patrick's Day Hotline: 772-257-4925 The "Get Over It" Hotline: 267-436-5063 The Divorce Hotline: 631-403-2016 The "One-Night-Stand" Hotline: 212-201-3517

[Star30009]

111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­11111111111111111111

[brendan17357]

haha that is soo funny and i have it on my fone!! :D

[jakymoooon1]

Whats this Number and is it Internationall ??

[pigeonshouse]

If you are a conspiracy nut that thinks "9/11 was an inside job", Dial 202-456-1414 and ask to speak to Barack :P

[TFRookie117]

696969696969696969696969696969­6969

[Chocolatecandy1961]

I met a person how was skitsafrenic and she said she could see people,then she turned to her side and said "oh,the paints over there"

[Nauticalman]

I just recorded this for my phone's answer recording and I'm leaving the country because I know everyone is out to get me.

[Necrosadomasochism]

The little voice told me to press the 19 key...

[FiGhTtheSoNg]

111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­1111111111111111116

[sfurner]

niiiiiicc333333333;;#+-kll

[RPCgirl9513]

:O The little voice told me dial in 13789563268463525 and so i did then it told me to hold my phone upside down and to throw the phone at a wall then but to make sure that when it breaks all the little peices make a music note then to listen to music the rest of the day.... IT WORKS! I AM CURED! O.O

[NotSoLazyShikamaru]

lol

[elijahwoodandme]

@RPCgirl9513 HAHAHA!!! I lol'd at your comment. :D And, OMG...same here. >_>!

[hausser4]

someone plase press two for meh

[mrsadler1234]

3456 lol wate for it don't wait for it

[Blad3sofWaR]

Okay i'm fidgiting with the Hash key.... Where the Hell Is THE BEEP?

[FandubersProductions]

69696969, lol! Im scitzerfernice! The little voice told me to press 5318008 and then turn the phone upside down, thats what the voice told me to do!

[Inuyasha1393]

the voice tells me to pres 3456.

[niall135]

ha thats brilliant... frank kelly did it again

[dippydudeman]

That's So Funneh

Lol

[CheopsvsKhufu]

Frank Kelly is Irish, so it's pretty Irish:-D

[Bunnybabe144]

6969696969696696969 PROUD  DYSLEXIC

[pdqgba]

If you're an insomniac, agnostic dyslexic............

does that mean you sit up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?????????

[theeldergoth]

Loved that. "If you're co-dependent have someone push 2 for you". Yes!

[crazymermaid]

this is  not funny.......it's wrong

[maxpayne2323]

That's not bloody IRISH!!!

[BluTaiger]

That sounded like an Irish accent to me.

[debz12180]

they should have this in some mental hospitals hahahaha cause im sure noone answers anyways hahahaha.

[carnivoriousleaf]

@debz12180 That's because you are depressive. :P

[theangelicwolfgirl]

111111111111111111111111111111­11111 2 3456 *stays on line* 7 *listens for small voice* *it doesnt matter which number i press noone will answer* 696969696969696969 *waiting for the beep* *forgets what im doing o-o* *hangs up*

[dismo77]

111111111111111111111111111111­1111111111111111111

[EyeWonderOne]

lolzzz i <3 it! roflmfao

[Roleplayer008]

Oh okay, nobody is going to answer me...*listens for further instruction* FINE! I KNEW I WAS WORTHLESS *hangs up*

[swollower]

straight to my favorites. Brilliant!

[uberpwnage13]

"If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. "

That needs to be in there.

[emchan33]

that will confuse the dyslexics more LOL

[LORDofSTEAK]

it will be transfered to the mother ship im right im RIGHT !!

[Revan46]

This cracked me up :D

[VampireHedgehog]

Pushes 69696969 i think

[FalcoRusticolus92]

*pushes 7*

[dragonking322]

did anyone else notice... these are all rotary phones.... sooo.. odds are highly against them actualy working with a touchtone system like the one's they're making fun of... also.. no hash key... or pound..

[CSImiami4Shakira]

111111111111111111111111111

[shannibearstar]

3456

[ThePhantom2K9]

I get it, press it repeatedly.

[MrRealityStreet]

Don't stay on the line!!! They're tracking you!!!!

[Ivansky1]

Where can I download this?

[markanthony1920]

write it down and record in your own or a fake voice !

[jkalawson]

LOL! good one

[jendow71]

can i get this as mah ring tone???

[shadyworrier666]

LOL!!!!!! i love this

[SuperAnnoyedKatie]

the voice told me to press all of the buttons @ the same time......... repeatedly

[sonicflorian]

I have OCD, Aspergers, Dyspraxia, Dyscalcula and Paranoia

[jendow71]

oh then stay on the line then they will trace the call and while thats going on pres 6 9 69 696 69 696 696 696 see if that works

[Supersmooth007]

funny, I am OCD and when I post a letter over the counter I have fears that It will not arrive because I havent seen it get physically or manually posted in the letter box by me, I end up posting another letter. I also get confused when the stamps are different colour then normal. However I have Asperger's syndrome to which is a form of autism and it does make different situations all that harder to understand and appreciate!

[rachelpdoylexox]

XD lol

[TwilightFreak1314]

i am irish. leave brittany alone

[xxcamshamxx]

well done im irish too!

come on the fuckin irish! ha lol

[lolleeez]

this is great.. defo irish.. its operated in mayo in aines house.. :) lol xx

[xxcamshamxx]

hello this is aine? where is my house? i have short term memory loss...and i cant remember where my house is so now i cant get my phone to call back later! what to do? lol

[NinjaDandD]

the voice told me to dial 3456 XD

[SinisterShinobi666]

111111111 then 3456 then stay on line to trace call then press the button the small voive tells me to. yay it's so complicated

[SinisterShinobi666]

What do I do if Im OCD, Schizophrenic, Paranoid, and have multiple personalities.

[AceSpade09]

*waiting for small voice in my head to tell me what number to press...*

[dragonempress1]

696969696969696969696969696969­6969....

[Nativegirl19995]

1111111111113456710###### (hangs up and calls again then just hangs up)

[ashstrifeff7]

lol animegurl its nt real! this is by Frank Kelly (Father Ted actor)

[punkfarie101]

I was telling this to my friends...then I got to the part that says "If you are dislexic press 6,9,6,9,6,9,6,9" ............. I think the perverted ones took it the wrong way O___e WHY WASN'T IT 6,8?!?!

[paranoidman21]

Because then you wouldn't be dyslexic.

[punkfarie101]

........okay im half blonde...I still halfway don't get it...is it because one lookes like the other upside down?

[inosasukedragon]

that wouldn't be funny then :D

[punkfarie101]

dont laugh at me...but after the 69 incident on this answering machine that number has been following me!! theres rarely a day that i don't see it somewhere!

[PsycoMantis9]

3456

[pureman970]

111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­111111111111111111111111111111­1111111111111111 Origional Comment by Pureman970

[simonslap]

well you can't 'press' numbers on those phones! :DD:S:S::S:S

[animegurl185]

Whats this number????? i cant find it anywhere!!!

[VictorianStraightUp]

7 7 7 7 7 7 7

[backspace8908]

i have this on my phone :P

[planstore]

Why would he have to mention being Irish?  I never heard an answering machine message where the voice gives their nationality.....

[Incantia666]

Lol

[DarkVampRaven]

So it should be! xD "I Fecking love Frank Kelly!" :P

[DarkVampRaven]

Ahahah fucking love Frank Kelly :D

[cruisauk]

Shouldn't that be "Fecking"? (lol)

[xxanimeanglexx100]

a week later someone would find me still pressing numbers

[patrickman123]

same ere

[shazzer1976]

Is this not meant to be longer?

[cruisauk]

just a few seconds longer I think, like the words "to talk to you"

[bohsmb78]

well he has an Irish accent and do you say where where youre from everytime you answer the phone

[cruisauk]

The 'dude' as you put it (I presume you're American) is Frank Kelly.

As mentioned earlier, Frank Kelly is Irish. I can't really explain it more clearly really.

Anyway, does it really matter?

[cruisauk]

Frank Kelly is from Dublin. So I'd say he was Irish, wouldn't you?

[chickenonaturkey]

Where do u download this?

I WANT IT!!

=0

[berowne08]

hi if you have a facebook or myspace account click on the icon below the screen and it will upload to your account

[Oyasumi1415]

i like it, i have multiple personalities...although the other ones are kinda mean kinda...sorta

[systemofaslipknot1]

the dyslexia one is not funny

[cruisauk]

That's a matter of opinion.

[Redrose904]

u are correct

[youngestpilotinGa]

its not i have it

[LyraHisDarkMaterials]

so do one of my good friends and she fell about laughing when she heard it!!

[youngestpilotinGa]

ya it makes me mad about the dislexia but the rest of the things make funnyyyy

[PBOreoCookieGirl]

then you take it too seriously

[youngestpilotinGa]

nonononon its funny as hell just i dont like the dislexia part one cuz i dont get it and im dislexic

[akatsukiownage]

I'm paranoid and schzophenic---I still find it damn funny

[Bonzodog25]

Yeh, you have to be able to laugh at yourself if you ever want to laugh at anything :-)

[AnnaBella5789102]

how do we get this as a awsering mashine ???

[VixLacrima]

Lol, I made this my answering machine. ^^

[himafimcrgirl]

I have this as a Ringtone on my phone for my boyfriend.

lol

I love it.

[adam111888222]

OMG i had this!!!! DIDNT KNOW IT WAS FATHER JACK :O

[FullmoonXTakuto]

Whats the number

[adam111888222]

theres no number, its just like a ringtone thing you can download.

[MyBikeItGoReallyFast]

feck! no way!! hahahahahahahah

Nuns! Reverse! Reverse!

[alliebean69]

Triple reverse!

[GoldenBalls1234]

hehe, nice to hear father jacks real voice

xx

[lushula]

haha i had this on my phone a long time ago! my family hated it when i would answer. they had all kinds of weird people calling me to hear it!!

[Zara360]

heheheh...

[kalimtheman]

yes it is my friend called the number on her phone a hole

[kalimtheman]

wat is the number?

[robbie5380]

its not real u idiot lmao

[toys28]

Been looking for this for ages. Thank you.

[JasonVz]

lol

[Edymybrother99Slayer]

lmao, this is a old classic. very rare.