Listening to this guy made me want to go out and do crazy stuff. You only live once, and when you're old and waiting to die are you going to look back and think "I sure am glad to have been an upstanding citizen, working 50 hours a week and never ever doing anything worth telling someone about"? No, you're going to think "Damn, I wish I did some more crazy shit!".
"SHE BELIEVED ME!!" "which scared the shit out of me even more! Because I still couldn't pull the trigger!!" "WHERE'S MY 7.50!!?" maybe my last comment was a little hasty. That is pretty fuckin good!
This is awesome! A great example too of a truly funny man. It's not like the gag itself is overly hilarious, it's more his delivery that 'seals the deal' (pardon the pun). A naturally funny guy more than a great comic writer. Ps. IMO, they make the best comedians. Nice work Doug!
She grabbed me by the hair, and slammed me into Matt so hard, and then I kicked her in the head and she just got pissed!! So any illusion that this is a chick, that dream's over, lose your boners, sober up.
Listening to this guy made me want to go out and do crazy stuff. You only live once, and when you're old and waiting to die are you going to look back and think "I sure am glad to have been an upstanding citizen, working 50 hours a week and never ever doing anything worth telling someone about"? No, you're going to think "Damn, I wish I did some more crazy shit!".
RiNSpy 2 months ago
to admit this in front of a crowd of people, the level of honesty is seriously admirable.
BillKiernan 3 months ago
"SHE BELIEVED ME!!" "which scared the shit out of me even more! Because I still couldn't pull the trigger!!" "WHERE'S MY 7.50!!?" maybe my last comment was a little hasty. That is pretty fuckin good!
gutts077 4 months ago
This is awesome! A great example too of a truly funny man. It's not like the gag itself is overly hilarious, it's more his delivery that 'seals the deal' (pardon the pun). A naturally funny guy more than a great comic writer. Ps. IMO, they make the best comedians. Nice work Doug!
gutts077 4 months ago
laughed so hard my eyes are watering.. thanks for that
wistoncap 6 months ago
He's a good story-teller.
5jerry1 7 months ago
its sad that I had to live 42 years before I dicovered Doug Stanhope
MrEntwhistle 8 months ago 13
@MrEntwhistle Perhaps, but you're not alone in that. I lived 41 years before discovering him. At least we know his comedy now though, right? XD
darkridr25 7 months ago
@MrEntwhistle
Well, fortunately you've only been missing out for about the last decade. Be pretty impressive if he's been goin since the 70's...
thomasford 6 months ago
@MrEntwhistle
And on top of that, u still haven't learned to spell, sir.
DanTraxex 4 months ago
@DanTraxex I don't text well when I'm drunk.
MrEntwhistle 4 months ago
@MrEntwhistle I got lucky, I found him when I was 13. I hid listening to Doug more than I hid my porn stash from my family.
masterthehate2 3 months ago
She grabbed me by the hair, and slammed me into Matt so hard, and then I kicked her in the head and she just got pissed!! So any illusion that this is a chick, that dream's over, lose your boners, sober up.
NinerRed63 8 months ago
Fucking hilarious!
Terjesolgard 9 months ago
0 dislikes, true
prikard 11 months ago
absurdly histerical!That is fucking classic!lol!
MrMagneticfields 11 months ago
Fucking hilarious.
Thagros 11 months ago
"lose your boners and sober up!"
Bisonzilla 1 year ago
Dude, take a stroll down Van Buren here in Phoenix, SCARY how accurate he is.
ebusive 1 year ago
I couldnt stop laughing all the way through this. nice one.
infinitesimotel 1 year ago
you waited in line to get your dick sucked by a guy!
KingAttle 2 years ago 30