Best of Rifftrax - 300

[xeryph]

"His spear is.. pointy... kind of.. at the end" XD

[horaciosi]

(4:56) What did he said?

[jake5]

Their imitations of Faramir are spot on.

[RightWingHunter666]

Now looking back on it 300 was a pretty stupid movie. Rifftrax makes it so much better

[extremeXjapanophile]

Our king, HAMISH LOGAN MCCORMICK! xD

[theoneandonlygrod]

Hey, let's be honest, who didn't come out of watching 300 making about 10,000 gay jokes (most of which were not funny because hey, let's face it, after a while even gay jokes get old). These guys were actually clever enough to go one comedic step further, unlike that shitty Feidberg and Seltzer film, so cudos to them.

[uzisuicide87]

I laughed to the point of tears 3 times at the "his eyebrows are bushy" part

[deathrooster14]

Needs Kratos...

[gonzoprototype]

A C. Everett Koop reference? Amazing.

[roboticpigeon42]

AGH GIVE THEM SOME HAGGIS AND TELL THEM I'LL BE RIGHT THEEERE

[MajickDemoniack]

You know, this is my first exposure to rifftrax, and let me tell you - I've heard tons of people say they suck, tons of people say they're awesome - I'm about 50/50. Half the jokes are lame and stupid, like the jokes Christian Fundementalists would make, and then the other half are clever and very funny ("You're so TENSE!" I almost died =:D ). Hm, I'll have to go check out some of their other stuff. There's great potential here and it's better than a lot of other jokes people have made about 300

[visceralgristle]

@MajickDemoniack These guys have been doing this for 20 years. Look up MST3K. That's the nature of the humor.. some jokes hit. some don't.. but there's something for everyone.

[MajickDemoniack]

@visceralgristle Yeah, better than I expected lol. I REALLY liked their Jurassic Park one. "Shhhhhhhhhhhhh, be vewy, vewy quiet! I'm hunting Waptors!"

[SomeDumbKid1]

Our king Hagish Logan McCormick!

I was in stitches over that one

[diglfargl]

The "we decided to lay down one spear" part was not only funny, it was also badass :)

[kdbrown777]

"An offer only a madman would refuse...

An' guess what? I forgot me thorazine tadeay!"

[stripeddragonwaffles]

"sweet death seems to be receading into the horizon"

"well i'd kill you mike but i wouldn't want all 35 gallons of your blood to shoot out and get all over my new socks"

*sigh* "i understand"

[specialpatrolgroup92]

"Oh yeah meet me by the baby discarding tower i'll check out your new baby for ya" LMAO!!!

[Replicaate]

Pushy Faramir, padding your part.

[MadmanMatt421]

@Jayfive276 CHAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGEEEEEE!

[sailtheplains]

Hothothothothothothothothothot­hothothothothothothothothothot­hothothothothothothothothothot­hothothothothothothothothothot­hothothothothothothothothothot­hothothothothothothothothothot­hothothothothothothothothothot­hothothot!

[Hakkai87]

I really enjoy the 300 rifftrax, some of there best work!

[austrailianpirate]

His spear is... is pointy.... sharp kind of... at the end.

[Jayfive276]

The Slomostrians are coming!

[DelusionalSyko]

That's one angry cow.

[drumgol]

Personal Injury Waiver...lol...laughed at that for quite a few minutes

[critter505]

"Heart? I'm sorry, I just can't stop laughing about your Scottish accent." HAHAHAHAHA!

[elvaelvirababe]

7:25 lol 

[FesteringHeadsFilm]

Missed my favorite riff: "How tacky"

[tehWudge]

You promised...

[mrsgollum]

"All with born sons to carry on their name"

"Though Johnson's son may not be the *marrying* type, if you know what I mean"

"He's considering moving to Athens, if you get my drift".

"We think he may be a homosexual, if you can read between the lines".

Ah, priceless

[veritas0071]

I can't wait for Halo to come out on DVD so I can buy the rifftrax for it.

[ChloeAnnamarie]

MOO!!! "....jeez that one angry cow." " Um he said move not moo." So, hes a cow that can speak english?!" "...no he's not a cow...OH I guess he is." LMBO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[timmytoast22]

His eyebrows are bushy.

[Kemonokami]

The guys behind Meet The Spartans have clearly never seen this, let alone anything funny.

[joe579003]

Mr. Clean going to Mardi Gras.

[elvaelvirababe]

Did Rifftrax ever do Saving Private Ryan? lol

[Wolfwood824]

Oh no, not the Slowmostrians! D=

[edgolo]

THIS...IS..SPART OF A BALANCED BREAKFAST!!!!!!!!! Took a while to get there, but it was one heck of a funny line!

[idugupthegrave]

It's like having a freshly-severed limb dropped right in your lap.

[kikyo4815]

His spear is very pointy... and sharp. His eyebrows are bushy...

Oh my gosh, I couldn't breathe. XD

[MrBuch169169]

That's one angry cow...

[NotAnyoneSpecial]

"MY QUEEEN!"

"Ha, he finally declared his loyality to Xerxes"

LOL

[SageVallant]

"Those monsters! Letting this puny child live for 8 years instead of killing him in infancy!"

Totally missed that the first time I washed this.

[TheInstantClassic1]

MARCH MEN TO THE SOUND OF NINE DECTILOS NAILS!!!"

LMFAO, Rifftrax certainly hates Nine Inch Nails don't they?

[Clara666CherryBomb]

@TheInstantClassic1 I wouldn't say they hate them, per se, just that they're questioning why modern music is being used in a film set in ancient Sparta. However, the traditional lute music or whatever was popular back in the day doesn't sound as epic in the battle scenes.

[2wingo]

"I forgot me thorazine today!"

Oh, that was good.

[robs104]

@2wingo I had to pause the video for that one, blood was gushing out of all my orifices from laughing so hard...

[TheT4xid3rmist]

Hey, no arguing on my 300 rifftrax video. The Spartans did not go buff, shaved and shirtless and wear leather battle panties so that you people can argue on youtube. 

[eastwing329]

@TheT4xid3rmist You are right sir. Thank you for your words of reason.

[Cassavius]

I wonder, anyone ever figured out how short this movie is without all slow motion?

[koolio411w00t]

THIS ISSSPART OF A BALANCED BREAKFAST!!!!!!!! >:D

[supermariofan03]

i heard from the don't interrupt me gary from aladdin

[banananer16]

you know, there's bleeding and there's just plain showing off.

"oh look, see all my great blood, ooh"

[TraceurHarryG1]

he should say for the this is Sparta scene, these are very expensive sandals!!

[xjtbarnesx]

spart of a balanced breakfast... best line ever

[GT5Enthusiast]

boaty boat party LOL

[Andkloras]

"His cape is scratchy, his saddles are itchy, his beard is smelly and his warrior panties are crunchy"

"His spear is... pointy... sharp kind of, at the end"

"His eyebrows are bushy, his paws are oily... OH be quiet!" hahaah XD

[CPTHAP]

0:50

I cried a little.

[MrPossessed]

I damn near pissed myself at 3:07 - 3:37.

[flameblade02]

"It looks like Mr. Clean on his way to Mardi Gras!"

[krishen86]

"We sign the personal injury waiver!"

[lordofthedrums93]

"Don't interrupt me, Gary!"

[JamesOhGoodie]

SPARTANS!

Whaaaaaat?

[STOOPIDTIME]

I loved the Faramir/Dilios reference.

[Allthatismetal]

"MOVE" thats one angry cow

[PunkRockaMama]

THE SLO-MO-STRIANS ARE COMING!

[Abridgedfan134]

The levels of homoeroticism in this movie can only be summed up like this

ITS OVER 9000!!!!

[foolersqueen]

His eyebrows are.... BUSHEH.

[rsilkw2]

Perisan: MOVE!

Kevin: That is one angry cow

Bill: He said move not moo.

Kevin: So he's a cow that can speak English?!

Bill: No he's not, well I guess he is.

[Craigluver809]

This Is SPARTA

On the 4th of July:

This Is A SPARKLER

On Answering his kid when his kid ask"Whats that mettal thing with the plugs?"

This Is A Spark Plug!

On eating a bowl of Trix.

This Is s-Part of A balanced Breakfast

[eits1986]

LMAO!

"I see I was wrong to expect Sparta's commitment to at least match our own."

"Yea, guess you shoulda looked into that, DIPSHIT."

[DragonRana06]

For tonight we dine, in hell!!!

"But, tomorrow, i'm thinking Arby's!

Lol.

[TiniNormi]

LOL at the Midnight Oil jab

[Eagle0videos]

"Long live Scotland!"

[WolfmanNougat]

Wow, you guys are really opposed to metaphors.

XD

[Iamafishproductions]

"Well, I'd kill you, Mike, but I don't want all 35 gallons of your blood to shoot out and get all over my new socks."

And the riff, "A new age has begun, an age of us bein' dead!" just ruined every 300 trailer I'll ever see again.

[DenOfVipers]

6:49 Right? That was like, Leo's 4th "FOR VICTORY AND HONOR" shout-speech. Braveheart, which is almost exactly twice as long, has fewer! Stupid Frank Miller movie.

[kftc88]

Only Rifftrax could make a giant pile of murdered baby bones funny.

[textthing]

It's remarkable how none of this film's defenders blink an eyelid at the fact it's a hymn to fascism.

[JamesOhGoodie]

@textthing I sum up "300" this way: I enjoyed it in the theatre, but it's gotten sillier and sillier every time I've seen it since.

[TheT4xid3rmist]

@JamesOhGoodie Ain't that the truth.

[textthing]

@TheT4xid3rmist

My view on it can be reduced to two words: war porn.

[foolersqueen]

@textthing Haha. That's so true.

[hollyhuffstutler]

@JamesOhGoodie Yeah, that's been my experience with it too.

[soundwave010]

@textthing It's fucking awesome and more manly than a 40oz steak. That overrides the gayness and fascist overtones.

[GSSAGE7]

@textthing Cause we're all distracted over how badass the movie is.

Manliness > Fascism

[textthing]

@GSSAGE7

Homosexual men in nappies = manliness? Well, there's no accounting for taste.

[GSSAGE7]

@textthing Honestly, it's a very thin line between over-the-top manliness and overt homosexuality.

[turpskadey]

@textthing if anything, Homosexuality could be considered the ultimate in manliness if you look at manliness as the rejection of anything female oriented.

[textthing]

@turpskadey

Anyone who needs to be so aggressively over the top is definitely overcompensating. How are tolerance and non-aggressiveness incompatible with manliness?

[GellyfishProductions]

@turpskadey

Actually Leonidas is known for the fact that he encouraged homosexual relationships within his army, to strengthen the bonds between soldiers.

Must've been some awkward moments in that camp :P

[Yabuturtle]

@turpskadey Could be but it's not....not by REAL men anyway. Others can keep deluding themselves about it if they want to.

[firewolfstone]

@turpskadey except for the huge fact that you're effectively a man assuming a female role

[dragonkeeper19600]

@firewolfstone Nuh-uh. Because the other guy would be gay, too, so you'd both be assuming female roles, so you'd essentially be in love with a woman, so you'd both be lesbians, so you'd both be men.

Hey, if you can use troll logic, then so can I.

[Ziggsification]

@turpskadey Then that argument might be defeated by two words: "Flaming homosexual".

[dragonkeeper19600]

@Ziggsification Yes, but that's only one type of gay. There are many different ways to be gay.

[Halo4Lyf]

@textthing Oh, we're aware of it, or at least I am. We (or at least I) just feel that it has a lot of redeeming qualities.

[textthing]

@Halo4Lyf

I suspect that men in leather briefs has a lot to do with it.

[Halo4Lyf]

@textthing Oh, ha, a gay joke. How cute.

[textthing]

@Halo4Lyf

It's nothing to be ashamed of. And... you mean you didn't know? They all did it, you know.

[bloodrunsclear]

@textthing

Sigh...

I imagine you're a fan of Avatar; a monument to misanthropy.

[textthing]

@bloodrunsclear

Sigh...

Avatar sucks. Just like this.

[bloodrunsclear]

@textthing

Um...Avatar is like this in a mirror. Think about it: socialist teaching, respect the environment, kill everyone involved in the military and betray your people to do it.

So...exactly what kind of film DO you like?

[textthing]

@bloodrunsclear

No, they're very similar. They're both commercial products, calculated to appeal to certain demographics, and with no more depth or artistic worth than is required for that purpose. This one is war porn, and some people like that I suppose.

Oh, and I'm not sure why you think I'm obliged to answer your questions.

[bloodrunsclear]

@textthing

Obliged to? Interesting assumption. I'm merely typing responses to you.

But if you feel it necessary to respond back no one is obliging you to do so but you.

I presented some questions about your objective stances. You answered them of your own free will.

[textthing]

@bloodrunsclear

If you read back over your last comment, you'll see that your question was a bit querulous, as though there is a narrow range of films it's possible to like, so I responded in similar terms.

But I'll answer your question. I'm a big fan of Japanese cinema of the 50s and 60s, and of several South Korean films made over the last decade or so. There's a handful of recent US and European films I like as well.

[bloodrunsclear]

@textthing

Um...all I said was you seemed to dislike films on both sides of the political spectrum although you were blithe enough to complain about politics anyway, so you left yourself open my friend.

And you didn't respond, you complained about being asked questions at all.

I wonder if those films you did mention vague are autre...

[textthing]

@bloodrunsclear

Well, they're on two sides of a fairly narrow spectrum, but that's not a surprise. They're still bad movies. If they were dramatically convincing, or had the slightest ring of creativity about them, that would be a different matter, But they don't, so there's no need for lengthy discussion.

I refer you again to your earlier post.

I do not understand that last statement at all.

[Aelflar]

@textthing Heh, even worse..fascism sugar coated by quasi-liberal cries for freedom. Don`t you all just love it? :p

[textthing]

@Aelflar

"Freedom!! But just for me and those who agree with me!!"

[textthing]

@SAOrules

"Freedom" being defined as the maintenance of a military dictatorship based on a slavery economy.

[Halo4Lyf]

@textthing True, but they did introduce the idea of constitutional government and the absolute rule of law. And within the Spartiate, amongst the Peers, there was total freedom.

It should also be noted that it was possible for anyone to become a Spartan. Unlikely, but if helot had a sponsor, totally legal within their system.

[textthing]

@Halo4Lyf

I'm not sure where you're getting the notion that they invented constitutional government or for that matter the ("absolute?") rule of law. Sparta was an absolute monarchy; the dual kingshap was based on inheritance, and everything to do with law was decided by a small group of elders. Not exactly promising from the viewpoint of representative government.

[Halo4Lyf]

@textthing Absolute rule of law in the sense that EVERYONE was under the law. King(s), ephors, commoners, all under the law. It was constitutional in the sense that it was a society run by law, not the whim of of a god-emperor like Persia was, or the whim of the mob like Athens often fell prey to.

[textthing]

@Halo4Lyf

And I don't think you're statement that anyone could become a Spartan is accurate. The name "Sparta" itself means "sown men"; to be a Spartan, you had to be demonstrably Spartan in ancestry. The helots were slaves; every year the Spartans had a little event where they could freely kill helots.

Charming folk.

[Halo4Lyf]

@textthing Indeed anyone could be a Spartan. Read "A War Like No Other" by V.D. Hanson. He details both Spartan and Athenian culture in it. While at the beginning it was true you had to be able to demonstrate Spartan ancestry, reforms just before the Peloponnesian War allowed anyone to become a Spartan if they had a sponsor to pay for the training costs (and if they acquired land to pay their mess costs in the meantime).

[Idonthaveanamelol]

@textthing To be fair, it's kind of too over the top to take seriously.