Fun With Shorts: Harm Hides at Home

[DGF2099]

How lame! Even "Time Out for Trouble" had more action than this!

[sillygrl23]

I am suprised Josh didnt make a Green Lantern joke when Karen got that ring from the alien.

[vegasfan9]

If harm is hiding does that mean i have to find it?

[thefaboloussob]

2:22 That is a very powerful telescope.

[PatrickLHawkins]

that kid has contaminated the entire kitchen with that raw hamburger.

[thefaboloussob]

5:49 That's right, Guardiana. Say it like your costar is hard of hearing & says, "HUH? WHAT'D U SAY?"

[thefaboloussob]

5:58 That's right, grown-ups. If you're gonna smoke, don't smoke carelessly. You can live 2 years longer!

[thefaboloussob]

5:23 Umm, line?

[thefaboloussob]

Susan Valdez musta not gotten the callback at "Wonder Woman," "Charlie's Angels," or even 2 appear on 1 episode of "Three's Company."

[thefaboloussob]

Funny about the fridge scene. It actually reminded me of a scene in "Punky Brewster" I saw as a kid where a kid suffocates in a refrigerator. The episode was about CPR.

[thefaboloussob]

Perhaps this film was made in 1980. Remember the hockey film "Miracle"? Shoot! I thought that was a '70s film! Goes 2 show that a decade's boundary's like that of most states. How would u no you've X'd over from MT to SD?

[VTPPGLVR]

"The 70s were brought to you by the color brown."

(^.^)

[JohnnyCxviii]

Every gun is a loaded gun. What about...the ones that...? LOL

[JohnnyCxviii]

Funny stuff...only MST does it better...this is just as good as Rifftrax.

[snakes3425]

Guardiana: Phone immediatally and have the fire emergancy number taped right to the phone

Uh Guardiana, I'm pretty sure calling the fire department from INSIDE A BURNING BUILDING is a very BAD IDEA

[snakes3425]

Now remember kids instead of calling the Police or the Fire Department when there's an emergency just cry out for Safety Woman

[ngobleus]

At 10:26 I just realized that kid sounds like one of the Prince of Space kids

"We like it very much."

[ngobleus]

Some lines I thought of:

~2:00 "Carol Ann, don't go into the light!"

2:11 "I still waaaaant a huuula hoooop!!" (reference to Chipmunks Christmas song)

3:34 "Bleeeesssss youuuuuuu...."

3:54 "Alert....alive...." "...A woman...."

[DrGregoryHouseIT]

"This is Miss Karen Kingsley. Beautiful. Gifted. Attractive."

Constipated!

[DrGregoryHouseIT]

"Fire! Fire!"

Then reload and fire again!

Suddenly it's Night Of The Living Dead!

[epicninja13]

"the end...please?"

"read between the lines, guardiana!"

I laughed.

[VulcanTrekkie45]

11:23 'The one thing everyone needs to know about guns is that' they should be banned and the Second Amendment is completely foolish and unnecessary. And this shows why.

[dreamalittledream176]

LMFAO! Oh my god....i could barely breathe i was laughing so hard!!!

[purpleshamrock17]

"this effect will never look outdated or cheesy"

the alien voice sounds like the first compertized voice

"kid's name is Chocolate?"

7:11 yeah really, what kid goes home and makes a burger for a SNACK?! What happened to cookies?!

9:09 but apparently Kevin's house didn't have one and his own ears didn't work because he couldn't HEAR the crackling flames beforehand

[VolkswagenNut1969]

Ah, growing up in the 70s... what a warm and frightening memory.

[DarwinwasWrong]

7:34 Where did the beef in the pan go?

[MELONSCOFFER]

thought he would find his dads porn mag stash in the boxes hed certainly be alert then

[Adamgontierfan19]

As Dave: ALVIN!!

As Executive: I promise you Steve this effect will never be considered outdated or cheesy

She looks like she's in Zappas You Are What You Is video

Dude you are really good do you write your riffs or ad lib them?

[GreenScreenGirls]

1:52 Sounds like Alvin and the chipmunks are looking for Ben Kingsly. O_O

[Oppledeldoc]

Thanks to William Conrad, I don't trust svelte women to tell me about fire safety, only huge men.

Did it ever occur to Safety Woman that those two boys on the edge of puberty might be doing those things just to get her attention? All jokes about the film aside, she's pretty hot.

[ResettisReplicas]

Forget almost burning the house down, did anyone else notice that the kid didn't wash his hands after handling raw meat? He just cross-contaminated everything he touched Nice miss, Karen.

[ResettisReplicas]

I love how she mentions the baking powder that could be used as a flame retardant, when there's a fire extinguisher in the same shot. Yep, baking powder is exactly what I'd reach for if I were in that situiation and saw those two items on a shelf.

[90210411]

You can tell this was written by some uptight, senile 1950s type who still thought UFOs and dorky phrases were cool.

[memoryhero]

You know I'm really breaking protocol by letting you live!

[Adamgontierfan19]

"Oh good now kids watching this will know exactly what to do in case of a stove fire"

"next time I let you burn"

[Iamafishproductions]

She was pushed into a vat of chemichals by a radioactive spider from Krypton!

Kitchen light fixtures from beyond Pluto!

Hey, check out the headlights on Karen!

So much riffing in such a short span, amazing.

[DarkeRaven09]

Ah! Stupid movie! You're the reason why people keep asking me if I'm a "volunteer crossing guard"!!... yeah, right!

...aliens apparently have a ton of time on their hands handing off cheap power gimmicks to volunteer crossing guards (they're so lame not even the Borg would assimilate this race!!)

[gw197234]

Awesome voice-over Josh! Did you catch what the boy with the gun was wearing? An OJ Simpson jersey! Jiminy willigers! I bet that would be worth some green today!

[blugreen123]

i never noticed that, and I've watched this short like, half a dozen times!

[JasonPugh001]

Being a relatively new fan of MST3k and Rifftrax, I was hesitant to listen to knock-offs. I just watched 3 of your vids and they are hilarious! Great Job!

[MartianBuddy88]

"Suddenly it's Night of the Living Dead!"

Man, if only...

[DoyleDogma109]

That was a truly awful video. Thanks for destroying it!

[Daveymulv]

Hilarious!

[orgixvi3]

These leasons are rediculous!

[majestikmoose9]

I've gotta say, Josh: these videos are top notch. You have a real knack for riffing, man! Keep 'em coming!

[DrGregoryHouseIT]

The 1970s are brought to you by the color brown.

[zws1922]

so, did they ever find Harm at home? and was she Karen Kingsley's evil sister, "Fun Stopping Woman:?

[gamerfire3]

the students made a display of over 500 children dying in a fire?

[guilmon182]

Alien: "BEWARE THE BLUE MN'M'SSS."

[ChaosApprentice]

How many kids can almost die in one day. O.O

[DispariScuro]

Also, aren't there much better and more important things she could be doing with the power to turn back time, stop time, and move objects through space?

[blugreen123]

we are the starland...we are also in...the lollipop guild

apparently karen kingsley has no ears

Safety woman apparently has a platic frisbee as her shield, and Erik Estrada C.H.I.P.S. sunglasses

Danger Dodger Club? Man, this kid will never get laid

"abbreviated menorah" haha

why would you hang a plant that high up in the first place

it sounds like he calls her "sexy woman" @ 14:02

[blugreen123]

14:08

[orion421]

Me thinks Some arm n hammer baking soda would have put out the fire..LOL

[milaeighteen]

When does this woman have time to do any architecting? :-)

[Steeple333]

6:56 Go ahead and grab that raw meat, Kevin. It's not like you have to, y'know, wash your hands or anything. Hope you like dirtburgers after your basketball practice! =Db

[Steeple333]

Many people put mayo on burgers, actually.

But gun safety --> spills? Boy, I just love non-sequitors! =D

[Spazman173]

"Every gun is a loaded gun".

"Um, what about guns that aren't... loaded?"

[mejasond]

1978, a mighty fine year!

[choc113]

Why cant I find this film on the imdb? is it secret or something? I only wanted to see what happened to the cast:(

[Katsufrakish]

the kid's name is chocolate?

HHAHAHAHA!!!! I laughed so hard.

way to go romeorhino

[CheshAmeoba]

This is one of those videos that would be hilarious even without commentary.

[YesIwatchthis]

Spectacles testicles wrist and watch? What's that mean?

[romeorhino]

"Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet and Watch" is a rather crude way of describing the way Catholics cross themselves. I believe it's from a movie called "Nuns on the Run" with Eric Idle.

[JiaBlackholesun]

It was also in the second austin powers movie.

[GeorgesVI]

@romeorhino shut-up asshole, may your death be slow bloody and painful!

[Ranika]

Her and her 'safety' rants are just going to get those kids beat up. Unless she includes a self-defense course, I think she or the Alvin and the Chipmunks aliens set them up. Maybe a fire arms safety course for the one boy, cause he'll need some form of protection from the monsterous bullies pounding the snot out of him for being such a little dweeb.

[Timewap]

Wow, who knew toys are as dangerous as anthrax.

[VMIFerrari]

"Read between the lines, Guardiana". LMAO!!!

[averagejoe0073]

Romeo I love these !!!

I have to say on this one, WTF !?!?!? is going on LOL

[Bumchod]

I haven't laughed this hard in quite awhile. Thanks Romeorhino

[xerxes333]

Watching that women put out a fire must be what taking LSD is like.

[snakes3425]

Super Powers from Alvin and the Chipmonks.

[romeorhino]

Hey, Sean! I do have DVD collections available (send me a message for details). As for Rifftrax, we'll see what happens... !

[snakes3425]

8:13: Uh, what kind of superhero is that? It's just Karen Kingsley with a silver suit and sunglasses?

[TomSFox]

Remove the fridge door? What the fuck?

[awkwardboy]

I'm not suggesting that this is a quality safety movie, but I remember a safety tip about this -- when you throw away an old fridge, you have to take off the door because of the risk of a child finding it, hiding in it, and suffocating. I don't know if it's actually *required* when you throw away old fridges, but that's the origin.

[TomSFox]

Yeah, but I think they were going to keep the fridge...

[Ricktheracefan]

I know that tip, but the reason I remember it is when Punky Brewsters friend hid in the discarded fridge during a game of hide and seek and was trapped and nearly killed.

[iCrash20]

That's one of my favorite episodes! lol!

[RRVCrinale]

At 8:00...

MOON PRISM POWER! MAKE UP!!

[Zannaerous]

Y'know, this would've been a brilliant place for a He-Man joke when she gets her powers from the helium aliens.

[Rizza2k4]

"Aware, Alert, Alive" "Alame!"

[PensieveScholar]

Keep on trucking, etc.

[PSLOwner]

Good for you Kevin.

"Want a flippin' medal?"

Great stuff.

[InvaderQuirk]

It's a reference to Alvin and the Chipmunks, because the aliens sound like Alvin. I think it's a recurring joke that Alvin's owner yells at him when he's up to something, but I never watched the wretched show so I'm not positive.

[nomadcowatbk]

Did they not care about meat safety in the 70s?

[TheRealGentleman]

What's the deal with Rifftrax riding your coat-tails? This isn't really a complaint, because there's room for both riff-tracks (eh) in my world. I'm just wondering if this is a deliberate homage to you or something, because there are ALOT of bad shorts out there and this is getting to seem a bit too coincidental.

[biggsguy]

I'm sorry Safety Woman but I think that Raid WAS meant to kill!!!!!

[utenatenjo80]

Yeah I just got an e-mail from Rifftrax as well.  Apprently they riffed this one too. I'd cry foul!

[Stormwysper]

Looks like Rifftrax did this one too.

[snakes3425]

Is this a safty film or a bad science fiction film

[magmos]

Both.

[Monitor1CC]

My favorite line: "Abbreviated menorah away!" lol

Keep up the good work, Josh. These are a side splitting joy to watch. And not to pad your ego, but me and my brother seriously think you're good enough to have been a writer on the MST3K staff. Seriously, have you ever thought about bugging Rifftrax for a guest spot? They did take fan submitted riffs for Batman and Robin so maybe it's not a stretch. "Jim Henson's Gary Busey babies!"

[romeorhino]

Thanks, Monitor1CC. I was actually one of the writers on the Batman and Robin Rifftrax. It was a great experience (among other things, I wrote that long rant Mike gives at the very end of the movie).

I met Mike and the Rifftrax staff at Comicon last year, and they indicated to me that they've enjoyed the videos in the office. So I guess they're aware of me. I don't expect anything to come of it, though that would be a dream come true.

[TANTAREANU]

waiting for a new post i really love your comments muuch better than those stupid robots who watch the movie at the cinema

[pootzie]

The more painful the short, the better the riffing. Thanks for taking the bullet, Josh.

[blanknot]

"Right back at cha."

"Read between the lines."

"spectacles, testicle, wallet, and watch!"

[steveasat2]

I'm guessing that Terri also got a none-too-brief lecture of the dangers of Type 2 diabetes.

[sillstaw]

Man, this movie was so random. Your friend Tommy is removing a fridge door! Now he's about to shoot himself!

[barryjc15]

God, what a painful short. But another good job with the riffing, Josh.

"The 70's, brought to you by the color brown."

"Read between the lines, Guardiana."

[ElveeKaye]

"No fuel, no fire." So basically, just live in a cave, since everything in your house is flammable.

Someone needs to teach that kid how to make a burger. You heat the pan FIRST, then add the oil, then add the burger. This heats the meat quickly and also usually keeps it from sticking to the pan.

[Steeple333]

He also should've washed his hands first. =] Apparently Guardiana only focused on one type of danger a week - no mention of the dangers of tainted food.

It's funny how she said there's nothing we can do about oxygen (lies!) and then mentions baking soda afterwards. xD

[OonaCanute]

Ugh, that alien's voice is so awful!!! I'm having trouble understanding it, even...with...the...waaay...it­...taaalks.

That short was BRUTAL, even with your help, Josh. Uuuuugh.

[heisanevilgenius]

"This is a lot of work, but it sure is worth it."

[justiec]

Isn't this similar to how Green Lantern got his powers?...Except of course, Green Lantern was actually a repectable hero.

[Stormwysper]

My God this is painful.

The movie, not the riffing. Great as always Josh.

[alwrig]

Never mind the lack of hand-washing. I thought the kid was going to make one of those welfare green pepper burgers that Eddie Murphy's mom used to make.

[aett]

The alien was explaining about the power to stop time and space. Josh was pointing out that having to listen to the annoying voice speak for so long felt like time coming to a halt.

[Tareltonlives]

"She was pushed into a vat of chemicals by a radioactive spider from Krypton"

I couldn't stop laughing from the "alien"'s voice. When I finally recovered, I cracked again when she showed up in full goofy uniform.

"I'm really breaking protocol by letting you live"

[taigakirdape]

Man, that takes me back. Suddenly I'm reminded of what life was like when I was 7.

Thanks for the new FWS, Josh.

[aett]

Aside from not washing his hands, what was that stuff he put in his burger? A huge glob of butter or cream or something? Good god.

[oromethehuntsman]

I would say that it was indeed a huge glob of butter.

[1337n0mad]

man I can't wait for my first danger dodger club meeting.

[Rixiozu]

I thought this was going to talk about food poisioning awhile ago since that kid touched raw meat with his bare hands and didn't wash his hands afterwords. Good going Guardiana.

[reddyredd]

So many great riffs to quote, but I'll leave it to...

"Um...hi."

[heisanevilgenius]

The alien's voice can't possibly be that annoying by accident. I think they were trying to irritate people.

[delatexan]

Anybody else find it weird that the kid wearing the O.J. Simpson jersey should have the gun in his dads' closet?

Oooh, Foreshadowing...!

[Winboloer2]

Very nice.

[AbbeyNormal]

God, why did they love brown so much in the 70's??

Shortly after Guardiana saved that kid from the fire he died of salmonella poisoning from not washing his hands after handling raw meat (as did the rest of his family). Guardiana dropped the ball on that one!

[nomadcowatbk]

What powers would a baby of Safety Woman and Puma Man have?

[DarkMario2]

Being able to stop time in gaudy clothes, while flying like a moron?

[romeorhino]

The clothing alone could level cities.

[Scarefan125]

I love that WD-40 Joke XD I loved so freaking hard.

[Sgrubb1S]

Ah, finally Safety Woman gets the "Fun with Shorts" treatment.

[Ricktheracefan]

Very glad you're back, funny stuff!

[ScotterationInc]

That's right son. First view/comment.

Okay, anyways, gloating aside, great, as always!

[ScotterationInc]

That's right son. First view/comment.

Okay, anyways, gloating aside, great, as always!

[Neminisvir]

Do *you* know the Danger-Dodger salute?