Craig's List 'Women seeking men' personal ads

[lazyperfectionist1]

"...excellent communicator."

Sounds more like a classified ad.

[KingJamesRev9]

Desertphile, you need to take a trip up to the Haight. You can have as many chicks as you want up there. There's nothing better out there than a pretty hippie girl. They're not materialistic, they accept you for who you are, and they'll rock your world in the sack. Craigslist is like the funny pages; the alternative to a comic book.

[KingJamesRev9]

I think that last personal ad that you read belonged to Lord Shadrach :-) hehe

[marktwainisgod]

I have been on a dating site for like 3 years now and its the same shit over and over. American women are divas that know or care nothing about art or culture and most cannot spell above a 4th grade level. Money and cock is what they want.

[IDreamofWW]

@marktwainisgod Well, as a married American woman, I have to totally give a shout-out for "cock" and having the bills paid. . . 3 unsuccessful years on a dating site ought to tell you something: try meeting women in person (or through the friends you'll make) by getting involved in a couple of organizations dedicated to your interests. And remember, in the mating game, like attracts like. . .

[marktwainisgod]

@IDreamofWW Wow! you can spell. You are a married woman so what do you know about the trials and tribulations of dating women in America?

[IDreamofWW]

@marktwainisgod I draw on my own memories, and the experiences of single friends and family over the years--male and female. They tend to bend my ear quite often. Anyone who would use the moniker "marktwainisgod" ought to be a catch--change your strategy! Put yourself out there! Go where intelligent women are if that's the type you want to meet. (If you live in a small town, god help you. . . )

[IDreamofWW]

@IDreamofWW (Not that there aren't intelligent women in a small town, there's just a small population to choose from. Very problematic.)

[marktwainisgod]

@IDreamofWW So you actually don't know anything about dating women. And anyone who judges a man by his "moniker" is quite small minded. Do you think that I just sit around for 3 years and wait for a dating site to answer my dreams? There's another small minded assumption. I attend a university full time so you are wrong again. You should try thinking for once instead of knowing everything.

[IDreamofWW]

@marktwainisgod Fortunately for the human species, wisdom and knowledge are derrived not only from the very narrow paremeters of one's own experiences, but the experiences and observations of others. I did not judge a man by his moniker, I considered several possibilities and chose one to lighten your caustic assumptions and sweeping negative remarks. Given the limitations of this forum, I chose the optimistic route that it is your stated strategy that has led to your abysmal conclusions.

[marktwainisgod]

@IDreamofWW Wisdom and knowledge of dating women come from having a COCK and BALLS. Not from rumors from your friends. It comes from a MAN. I wrote all of this to get a ruse and it worked. Thank you for playing along, Happy T-Day.

[IDreamofWW]

@marktwainisgod Ugh! I feel like such a cyber-rube! Taken in again. . . Should I tell the joke about the rooster who plays golf but can't get a hole in one? No, that would be rube--I mean "rude."

[pirbird14]

I also prefer my animals clean and sober. We once had a German Shepherd who used to steal beer and break the bottles open with her teeth. You don't want to be around an animal like that once she's been into the booze.

[lazyperfectionist1]

How witty can a cat be?

[tctheunbeliever]

If your unable two spell you're owne language pleas dont replie.

[anmoose]

You're looking in the wrong section. Scroll down a few pages to where it says, "Sluts for hire." :-P

[no2religions]

@Desertphile what on earth do you mean when you say excellent cuisine is garbage? I don't think what you had would have qualified as either "excellent" or "cuisine". :)

[hgryphon]

Did the gimp guy actually say he was looking for someone who was "physically real?" Do many imaginary people go on dates these days?

[metalskinstudios]

I just figured out how you view the world: People with good grammar, or people who should be hunted down and shot! And I thought I was alone in this world!

[lizzand]

Holistic cook? That must be somebody who will cook anything. fried brain, sauteed kidneys, pickled pigs feet. You should contact her, it sounds like a match made in hea.... in a garbage dump.

[no2religions]

@lizzand I've eaten everything you listed. Better than a fast"food" burger, that's for sure.

[lizzand]

@no2religions Wasn't that the start of the recipie for a fast food burger? Mince until unrecognisable and add chemicals before frying in whatever is handy.

How do you like fermented herring? It tastes "better" than it smells. :)

[no2religions]

@lizzand Pickled herring, many times, but I don't know if that is what you mean. It's great!

[lizzand]

@no2religions If you don't know what I'm talking about you haven't tried it :).

en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org/wiki/­Surstr%C3%B6mming

[no2religions]

@lizzand OOoohhh.... I saw that on "Bazaar Food with Andrew Zimmerman". I don't think anyone likes that stuff. :p

[luccaskunk]

Uh, Desertphile, I went to the listing you linked to, the title says she's 22... that's well within the legal age... the FBI doesn't pose as adults, they pose as kids...

[ravenslaves]

No no no no...Craigslist is all wrong. You need "Meet An Inmate" dot com. I just love how people in prison are looking for honesty in a relationship...plus the pictures are a hoot. Pretty much what one would expect, were one to look for love...in a prison.

[mobiltec]

Um.... I meet my women the old fashioned way. I rent them....

[SpeedFreakNO]

I'm crying here, hilarious :P The look after reading "holistic cook" was epic :P

[MakesMeAngry]

ROFL!!!! You buy a used car on Craigs list, you do *not* go shopping for a spouse, you'll get, well, someone like me if you do.

[jimthepleb]

oh and wherefore means 'why' not 'where' gets me every time:)

[jimthepleb]

clean and sober, no thanks! dirty and drunk ftw

[adolphbot]

Who needs ladies when you have porn?

[dalejr88]

LTR- long term relationship

[AtheistCitizen]

"excellent cuisine" is code for "fat"

[IDreamofWW]

Oh! And one more thing: If you try lowering your standards and lure a woman back to your abode, make sure that baseball sheet hanging behind you is NOT on your bed. . .

[dumdan1988]

Tell her you LOVE to eat animals,, and how can you even say you're not a character !!

[dumdan1988]

Tell her you LOVE to eat animals,,

[IDreamofWW]

Just lower your standards. Problem solved.

[dtm52]

DP, women are not attracted to someone who controls, Gravity! Gravity is enemy of women.

[DeeDemonwitch]

@dtm52 Hmm, now you come to mention it ~ the older I get the less gravity is my friend :(

[nicanicabad]

Almost nothing terrifies me more than personal ads.

[nicanicabad]

LMFAO!

[dave28lax]

You might not be a "man of character", but you are a character.

[TheCurmudgen]

I find it funny so many women have a requirement that their guy must be tall. So if they meet some guy who is everything they've wanted and treats them like a queen the woman will reject him if he's a little short?

[IDreamofWW]

@TheCurmudgen Isn't that silly? One could say the same re. men and their "no fat chicks," yes?

[TheCurmudgen]

@IDreamofWW Yea, a lot of men won't go after a woman who is heavy. Not me, I love them all, skinny to fat, doesn't matter to me. I like the person's attitude, not their waist size.

[IDreamofWW]

@TheCurmudgen Right on! I'm a 5'11 female -- if I'd limited my dating preferences to tall guys only, relatively speaking and not, I'd've never had a mis-spent youth and would have ended up a bitter old spinster, advertising on Craigslist. . . 

[DeeDemonwitch]

@TheCurmudgen if your not 6.4 than dont waist my thyme ;)

[PachucoDesigns]

Wait, you said you are not Intelligent? Having been a subscriber to your channel for quite some time now, I disagree, Desertphile.

[PachucoDesigns]

You should just send them your videos, man. They'd want to meet you, even if for nothing but sheer curiosity. lol

[narkfly]

And by DROOCPA, I meant DROACPA. Actual acronym = dramatic reenactment of a Craigslist personal ad. oops. :)

[narkfly]

Oh Desertphile, your DROOCPA (especially the last one) was the best. I laughed out loud when the "fuck it" just tumbled its way out after the "Wherefore art thou Juliet"... which I'd be willing to wager had a comma b/c of the fellow not knowing what the word "wherefore" means... classic comedy, sir.

[TrollOfReason]

How are you not a man of integrity? You don't denounce HHO devices and then try to sell your own.

[darebinroad]

Lack of capitalisation turns you on.

If only e.e. cummings was alive............and a woman............

[shaedies]

I'd hit that.

[adolthitler]

You might not have integrity, but you have gravity!

[Tiwaking]

All capitals = passionate! Tall + Intelligent + Healthy = HOT! Renaissance woman has no need for your spellings! Gimpy guy sounds out like to many cool things to me.

And everyone loves a poet.

[DerSchnurrbart]

Right next to your video is an ad proclaiming "Jesus Christ is Lord" and below this is a blonde chick with massive breasts. Those Christian dating sites sure know how to advertise.

[DeeDemonwitch]

@DerSchnurrbart hahaha, almost makes me wish I didn't have 'adblock' or what ever it is my computer has that stops me seeing the ads.

[krapptacular]

Yeah it's crazy how we are in an ocean of thinking women. LOL

Yeah right ! Just try finding a woman to accept a man the way he is, it's not possible.

[LeksServices]

My CL ads are too honest. "Ugly person seeking very hung man who loves to fuck. Fickle men need not apply." They almost always get flagged down! XD

[smaakjeks]

@LeksServices

Well you need to say what gender you are. That's probably why you get flagged down. The guys are like:

"Hey, I'm pretty well hung. Oh, and I do ever so love to fuck! ..... But what kind of orifice will I be fucking?? .... Doesn't say! FLAG!!11"

[rednecktrucker1969]

This makes me so happy to be with someone....lol

[grangersmith]

Why the capital letters? Capital letters are for emphasis. A detailed analysis of your video reveals that you are looking for a woman with basic grammar and spelling skills, and not into acronyms. A woman who is not clean nor sober, looking for a unhealthy, unattractive man with no character, intelligence or integrity. Wow your right up my alley. But are you tall? I am willing to be flexible as long as you have the right stuff. Waiting with bated breath, desperately yours, ;D Werewolf Girl

[smaakjeks]

@grangersmith

Hahaha! XD

[theoriginalSkooby]

So you are saying, there's a chance for me?

[jamieee321]

That last one has to be yours.

[jewellx80]

hey desertphile, can't really put my finger on it, but all of a sudden I find you extremely hot!! call me?

:-)

[dangerouslytalented]

The craigslist ads in your area seem classier than those in my area, they consist of mostly prostitutes and men seeking men for interesting times in public toilets.

[smaakjeks]

@dangerouslytalented

Now honestly, what kind of date is that; a public toilet. I've never understood that. The smell, the unsanitary conditions, cold hard floor... It's one step up from having a romp in a sewer pipe.

[dangerouslytalented]

@smaakjeks ... yes, but they like that, I mean, that is what craigslist is all about.

[DeeDemonwitch]

@dangerouslytalented so glad I am some what oblivious to this 'Craigslist'. I don't think we have it in the UK. Though it's more than likely we have something similar

[dangerouslytalented]

@DeeDemonwitch ... It's called craigslist.

[DeeDemonwitch]

@dangerouslytalented oooh, we have craigslist in the UK. Well I never knew that. I am so torn between 'googling' craigslist or just pretending I still didn't know there's a UK one.

[SSanf]

So, how would you write an ad for yourself? And, what kind of an ad would you respond to?

[nishbrown]

LMAO!

I'm wondering if that last guy actually knows what "wherefore" means?

[Friendough]

lack of capitals makes me horney two

[157626]

I didn't really think this video was going anywhere at first, but the 'man seeking' ads were so funny I almost shot some wine out of my nose.

[TheAnniepies]

Nephilimfree's ad: "Hansome, matoor, intellechual man of God seeks young affrican chrishchan woman who nows her place. Must have gud income an be tolrant of my beer an porno binges (Satan keeps atacking me with spirtchal warfare beccuz I am so wize an talentd, see ?).

Penshuner or disabelled very welcom. Just Must have money to support gods innernet profet (me) . Mus be abel fix computer after prno site virusez.

Must not ridcule baldies.

[157626]

Just submit your 'gravity' video as a response to one of these ads. Can't miss.



[NicolSD]

Any of them looking for a Christian? Or is that a given over there.



[sausage4mash]

online dating sucks for men due to the fact it's about 10 guys for every women ,lols . not for me ,I'd rather stay on my own than deal with the humiliation that is online dating

[Dasmaster1]

on the bright side you dont seam to have much competition.

[drax325]

You should go for the ones that say "woman looking for breathing man" not desperate of course

[hellshade2]

someone once said:

"be careful what you wish for,you might just get it..."

[tmafkap]

@hellshade2 I don't get it...

[meleagrisfelis]

I wonder if anyone puts the truth in these ads. I'd have to write "fat old broad looking for same" - probably wouldn't get many responses.

[NeuronicPlague]

Write an ad of your own and make a follow-up video about some of the responses you get (if any). 'Twould be a gas!

[theRoseofmyheart]

Why don't you write your own damn ad, Desertphile? :)

[TheSpankymonkey]

I am suprised that (given the amount of time he spends with animals) Desertphile hasn't manage to invent his own kind of mating call by now.

[jacobpaprotskiy]

lolz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[fiscornioman]

Thats it, if i were you, i'd rather fuck the cows.

[deemo665]

Craigslist personals is basically just another site for women to be private escorts running their own business. Oh, and really fat chicks.

[SiriusMined]

@deemo665

The escorts moved to Backpage

[Templehatchet]

lol

[ContractorTwobitz]

Desertphile, you are the best kind of crazy.

[Desertphile]

@ContractorTwobitz ; Otch, thank you. No wonder I'm such a hit with the ladies.....

[LeksServices]

@Desertphile - You remind me of my eldest brother. Which is a good thing, because you'd be totally hawt in bed!

Erm ... don't ask how I know that. -.-

[NoFaithNoPain]

@Desertphile Being a hit with the ladies is simple. The only problem is, what you want them for, for how long, and what its likely to cost you :)