'The Language of the Female' with Michael Ivens

[TheParikC]

Simon Neil much?

[indieafro]

omg i had to PAUSE to laugh ad not miss part of it AHAHAHAHAA

[blondebird88]

have you heard of a microwave before? because you could put the marmite in the microwave? soften it up a little bit it would only need 20 seconds.

ive also come to the desision that men as just as bad possibly worse at moaning lol :-P

[AnnaNadinee]

LOVE IT :D

this really did make me giggle (:

[kingofstoneage1987]

You're right dude. Marmite in the fridge is ridiculous. Ketchup and HP too. bad idea.

Marmite keeps for decades anyway!

[shrimple]

LOL that is sooo funny :') hahah yeahh from a girl's point of view we definitely over analyse wordsa bit too much :D all of that vid is SO trueeee <3

[HoldMeImEmo]

its not what you say, its how you say it :P

[Venomonous]

"Lovely" is more than enough for a compliment. Though that'd probably be followed by questions like "Really? You think so? Nah... I don't know...". But maybe that's just me...

[itscooltobeyou]

girls use the secret women code of talking to each other too. lol so funny.

[Lautrimo]

But having said all that, I would never ask my male friends about my looks because they're way too honest. And that would just hurt, so I'm just not saying anything and asking ma other friends if I do need an opinion. Females tend to say things in a very nice way if you're looking like a complete dickhead, whereas guys just tell you.

And yes, I'm definately done now.

[Lautrimo]

Okay, my comment was way too long, but here's the rest of it:)

I do have to admit that if they said something like "Oh yeah, I like the combination of colours.", I'd probably dismiss it and give them an irritated look because I wouldn't expect them to be able to judge that kind of thing.

Yeah okay, you weren't that wrong I guess. But we're not THAT bad:)

[Lautrimo]

Oh well, you have to see the other side too though! I understand what you mean, but it really depends on how those things are said. For example, if I ask one of my male friends about my outfit they're probably most likely to say "Yeah, that's nice.", but in a very, very bored way as if they only said it in order to shut me up:) And that's not a very nice thing to say if you can tell the other person is just saying it because they can't be bothered to think of something better. Oh well:)

[DizzyOnLemonade]

i dont like being called stunning or beautiful or the time. :L nice is good enough!

[danjameshancox]

Think it depends on who you are complimenting but some women are definatly like this.

Very funny vid as ever Ivens

[elyzalee]

if someone said to me "you look lovely" i would say thankyou and most likely blush as i dont do well with complements ...

i think you need better female friends

brilliant vid btw

[noooreo]

i'm not quite sure that cardigan goes with that shirt. but you look lovely.

(jaykay .. but you DO look lovely :D)

[ScuraLurida]

Where in the UK do you live if I may ask? I love your accent

[jmerten5]

omg you have gotten my subscription - that was the most wonderful vlog i have ever seen - SO TRUE

[MICHISMO]

Sounds like you need to hang out with different women. None of my female friends are like that.

[iianardo]

This is true to life. x

[tehcarnagex]

3:33 - 3:50

hahaha your awesome ivens and so right

[mrjohnnylipps]

haha i can see a news report..."men from across the globe fleeing after women ask how they look"

[emptybucket12]

that was awesome

[cdmanjak]

depends on the girl a best mate of mine shes always denining compliments even tho she does deserve them but the poor lass has no confidence ah well...

[SpOnGeBoBsAvEmE]

heh i would love it if i even got the smallest compliment from anyone.

Havent had one from anyone in a year.

Seriously.

[Riki300]

Hey man, I love your shoes!!

[SpOnGeBoBsAvEmE]

LOL

xD

[MartinBabez]

i understand totally

its so awkward. i dont see why its unacceptable to be forward and tell people what you think

only time playing mind games should come into play is when your trying to get onto someone, flirtin and such like

[sniffsumglu]

lol yeah boi NZ invented marmite, not that i like it though lol

[HeartlessArchAngel69]

Both woman and men confuse me!

Why do we have to play these mind games?

I cant even tell if a guy is flirting anymore! Its so frustrating!

[glassofwhitewine]

haha. I enjoyed the last part!

[webdesignproject]

lol

[jellyfishslapper]

hahahahaha

your best :-)

[JadeyChi]

I haven't found most of this to be true...but seriously, unless you know the girl has thick skin, telling her that the shoes she just picked out look bad with the outfit is a no-no. Give opinions in such cases when she asks. By butting in and telling her you didn't like them, even though you asked for permission, you insulted her taste in clothing when she wasn't looking specifically for your opinion. Some girls like the extra opinion, but as a general rule of thumb it is better to remain quiet.

[charlyandjosh]

The female of the species is more deadly than the male, they say.

Heh, nice vid man. :-) Reminds me of this talk I heard a few years ago: the guy giving it said that you should NEVER comment on a girl's weight, not even if it's complimentary. And I agree with him.

[scargill8]

Bovril > Marmite

Bovril is F...T...W

[eshninerforest]

you should have never said any thing.

[jadenic8]

I ask my boyfriend if something looks nice..and he's very honest..and I appreciate it..because I don't have a very good fashion sense..lol

[calumrb22]

its so true ivens xD

[NippleShortbread]

Lol that's a point. I can never understand why we do that. It's just an insecurity thing, or something...I dunno. Anyway blokes do it too, sometimes!

[blogmaths]

Ok, I wont tolerate people calling me sexist. If you can't take a bit of blatant Ivens ranting with the tiniest smidgen of false sexism then you have no sense of humour!

[HatticusRex]

hating the marmite

marmite gets a -3

so do thsoe shoes

[monkeyfunforidiots]

When he says "women shouldn't say anything", maybe "men shouldn't say anything to women" would work a bit better? just throwin' it out there...

[benminime]

The hardest question to answer is "does my bum look big in this" u will get murdered however u answer

[blogmaths]

I forgot to address that question - I came up with an answer which has never failed to please.

"No, you're just too SEXY for that _____"

(fill as appropriate: dress, belt, etc)

[benminime]

lol good one. do u remeber me i caught u in waitrose and sed Hi Badm4ths lol

[LizzieRadio]

...

[hughcharlesparker]

You're wrong: gay men don't get an exception. It's only the flamboyantly camp ones. Trust me on this.

[y2kjonrichards]

This is so true, we go round our friends house before we go into town and then she gets changed and asks "does this look alright?" and pretty much whatever you say she will change it.

[Neotails8762]

Not a huge fan of Marmite myself.

Not that much of a fan of toast either. :-/

[pinkybob]

what we've learned from this is that Ivens knows some not very nice girls.

[DoctorBenjy]

Ahh this is really true!

If you ever say, you like it, they require an essay to tell them why aswell :(

[francesjasmine]

i hate squeezy marmite because once you've squeezed all you can squeeze, there is still loads left at the bottom that won't come out and aghh! i stick to the original..

[SonicPritstick]

So to summarise: don't talk to women XP

Very entertaining, as usual :]

[pandaboy25]

jump in a pit of snakes!!!

yaaayyy

run to the hills!!!

[Skadifrogger]

I love marmite :) or vegemite... when I'm back in Sydney... btw... you didn't really finish your lastvideo... You were in the middle of a conversation (with yourself) and HAD TO GO!!!

[jimmyjimjim000]

boom! first comment

[jimmyjimjim000]

damn it!

[blogmaths]

Boom! get a life.

[stefi0stefi]

wow im the first viewer