Funniest Joke I Ever Heard 1984 John Hillerman

[fahrzeit1]

Oh come on Higgins. Tea!! Winston said tea!!! It is a british joke and does not work with coffee. You should know that you most british guy from Texas ever. Miss you.

[CatspitProductions]

Is he in Hawaii? Higgins! Come get some Catspit~! ☠

[verziehen]

A guy asks his friend "What is a faux pas?" His friend replies "It's a social blunder, let me give you an example". "The other day at dinner, I said to my mother-in-law "You are a toxic bitch and you've ruined my life", but what I meant to say was "Please pass the salt". You could say that was a faux pas".

[fabulousgerro661]

Right you're a tough audience so here goes! A woman walks into a chemist's shop and says "I want some arsenic to kill my husband!' The chemist replies "Are you crazy? I cant give you arsenic to kill your husband." She reaches into her purse and takes out photographs of her husband and the pharmacists wife in a 'compromising' position. The pharmacist looks at them and says"I didn't realise you had a Prescription!"

[oldfart387]

@fabulousgerro661 Ok, THAT was funny!

[staporinac]

Wife called her husband:

"where the hell are you????"

"Honey, you know that jewelery shop in wich is that ring you want so much?"

Yes?????

I am in the bar across the street

[numbtesticle]

@CrispySkateboarding no..that's just you..

[thedarkshitstain]

woah I just missed it. Not going back

[fabulousgerro661]

A man lies in a hospital bed the doctor says I'll have to do more tests. the man says How much will it cost? The Doctor replies $100. The man says ok. The Doc calls in a labrador the dog looks at the man and shakes his head, then the Doc calls in a cat who looks at the man and shakes his head. The Doc tells the patient that will cost you $10.000. It would have been cheaper without the Lab report and Cat scan!

[Toracube]

You had to be there..

[JUANCHOMAN47]

to work in HOOTERS you must must have big-tits and if you have one-leg you can work @ IHOP

[Kyusu001]

that's right its hitler

BACK FROM THE DEAD BEEYOTCH

[fabulousgerro66]

My wife has a black belt at cooking. One chop and you're dead!

[ironmanc5]

my father came into my bedromm last nite and said masturbating will make you go blind is said dad i'm over here

[al3699]

2 priests & a nun on a desert island. the priests satisfy their urges by continually raping the nun.

after 3 weeks the nun kills herself.

'' what will we do now?'' says one of priests

''we do what we must'' says the other.

months pass and the weight of guilt and shame take their toll on the priests.

''father Joseph, what we are doing is a sin against god''

''you're right'' says father joseph

''we really should bury her''

[fabulousgerro66]

How do you recognise an Italian tank? It has seven gears all in reverse!

[fabulousgerro66]

@accuruneide sorry my fault.

[accuruneide]

@fabulousgerro66 yes you're right, I made a mistake typing. But, you must knoe that I am italian, I speack 4 languages, so next time you wanna contact me do it in my langiuage, so I will see who, among us, is the real retard. I am sure that one must be you, because you are a one language idiot, I bet all I have.

[fabulousgerro66]

A man goes into see a Doctor, a very attractive female doctor. He has bruises on his testicles. The Doctor says Mr Murphy you're going to have to stop masturbating. He says Why? She says because I cant examine you!

[ed4reed5]

haha last time i heard that one i laughed so hard i fell off my dinosaur

[BLUAMOONA]

@ed4reed5 "SMIRK"

Best comment ever!

[MrWill99313]

@fabulousgerro66 Those who forget the past, are condemned to repeat it....

[MrWill99313]

There once was a girl from Quaile, tattooed on her tits, the price of ale, seen from behind, pressed on her behind, was just the same in braille.....

[fabulousgerro66]

A man and his dog in a rowboat in the middle of the Ocean, the man has lost his oars! After four days the man is hungry, he Eats the dog, piles the bones in the corner of the boat, looks at them and thinks... If Rex was alive he'd love those!!!

[LandSquirrels]

@fabulousgerro66 holy shit

[fabulousgerro66]

A friend of mine was standing outside the Doctor's Surgery looking worried. I said "Bob are you ok?' He said " No Gerry, I have the big C." "Cancer?" I said  No Dyslexia! Now that's funny.

[steveconn]

My friend in college told this joke...alot.

[totalrandomcrap]

Zeus, Apollo, PATROL!

[SuperTheclubpenguin]

haha he's so funny

[henrikarvidsson]

haha this man is so funny I love Higgins!

[wtfisthis57]

More like John Hitlerman. Seriously, the likeness is there.

[TheRitchardgaleHater]

@wtfisthis57 I know right!

[UncleMikeNJ]

35-1 in favor. I guess Lady Astor was here.

[Timmyboy505]

such great english wit

[100CommonCents]

haha thats the best