Part 2 of Lisa VanDamme's Response to "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior"

[aldoreshgaramok]

I'd say I'm relatively successful. I graduated summa cum laude, and now I am a PhD sci student at a prestigious US university. I also admit, I would have cracked under Amy Chua's rulership. B average would have been fine with my parents. I slacked until I took an AP science class; then I was hooked. I know my parents are proud; not because I did it for them; but because they know I did it for me. Afterall, I will outlast them. When they're gone, all that will remain are my goals; not theirs.

[aldoreshgaramok]

i chuckled at the "black mom" line.

[fro7k]

I think children should be punished, on certain conditions. Those are when they a) know better but b) do the thing anyway. Why would they even do that, if they know better? Because what they lack is the understanding that reality seldom mets out immediate punishment, to make the consequences real for them in a tangible way, but _people do_ (as adults the law). So it follows that if being a teacher fails you in your household, you must be the law-upholder, instead, to make the concept tangible.

[fro7k]

Follow up: We punish others as adults anyway. To be unjustly treated is to receive unspent energy, which would result in a subsequent energy of anger if supressed and frustrated. Most (weak) adults today punish through passive-aggression; cruel hurtful words, inconsistently ignoring, etcetera.

[fro7k]

Part 3: Physical or mental punishment? forever offer the child of a swift and measured physical punishment, or a slightly crueler nonphysical punishment that would be simply ignoring him beyond meeting his basic needs, until it drives him nuts. You may find, as he would, that he selects the physical punishment in future.

None of this should be met out to a child who is merely erroneous, but that should be clear already.

Thanks for reading.

[Jasonlittlex]

I must say, I am surprised to see so many "independent" Objectivists swallow the Leftwing, Boasian view of human nature (humans have no genetic nature at all - they can be molded into anything via culture and environment). This is essentially what most of you are accepting. Please update your knowledge, read any of the dozens of books on evolutionary psychology in recent years. Seeing Miss Van Damme pander to Leftist sensibilities is not encouraging.

[BlackWolf4830]

The quote about the "black mom" is so horrific and insulting - as if most black parents don't try desperately to make sure their kids don't end up the way these posters describe. Black women usually place much emphasis on corporal punishment. It results in temporary obedience, but all it teaches the kid is to not get caught next time. Hasty corporal punishment is what is keeping minorities on the streets

[Jasonlittlex]

@BlackWolf4830 Most black parents do not, in fact, try desperately to make sure their kids become lawful, decent, educated citizens, most certainly the fathers. The black illegitimacy rate is about 72%. This is bad - pathologically bad. The failure to openly call such things what they are is part of the problem. The majority of black men take little or not responsibility for their kids, this is a fact. I, as a White person, spend more through taxes on black kids then most black men.

[BlackWolf4830]

@Jasonlittlex Maybe you're right, but the person in the comments she described was referring to a black woman. I found it insulting that they assume that the black females who end up having to take care of the kids aren't even trying - quite the opposite. Most of the burden is generally placed on them

[jeffmaylor]

So were most Americans in the 19th century child abusers! LOL. Anyone with grandparents or great-grandparents knows that child rearing was a bit more muscular a century ago. "Spare the rod, spoil the child" was a common admonition. "Children should be seen and not heard" was another. Parents really did take a belt to their kids. Yet where they really that abusive? I would much rather be around a polite kid from a century ago then a modern punk spewing profanity but with high "self esteem"

[DreadLaw2]

Shame you stepped over the massive gaping hole that outcomes are IRRELEVANT because Abuse is Evil and should be attacked at all times regardless. This means you also missed the massive contradiction in that a Well brought up child must be evil by abusing their own children in order to fulfill the articles definition of good parenting... and so it fails whatever.

Then you stepped over the other hole that a child doesn't get fat naturally That's caused by self esteem destroying child abuse

[VanDammeAcademy]

@DreadLaw2 Perhaps you missed that this was "Part 2"?

[DreadLaw2]

@VanDammeAcademy Unfortunately not, I watched part 1 first.. it seemed the done thing, and you didn't cover any of these points in any form that would change my comment.

I should have mentioned however that I did think these were fantastic videos... but focusing on Utilitarian side effects won't change the world, as it only appeals to those that agree. Morality on the other hand is necessary for change and I just prefer that peoples efforts are spent really hitting Morality home over and over.

[jeffmaylor]

@DreadLaw2 Children don't just get fat due to "self esteem issues". Mostly they get fat from genetics and overeating.

[DreadLaw2]

@jeffmaylor Sort of like saying, Hitler didn't have a bad childhood, he was just a bad adult. 1) Genetics is irrelevant, a genetic perpencity to something does not mean someone has to be fat. 2) Self-esteem and overeating are one and the same thing.

[jeffmaylor]

@DreadLaw2 Genetics are irrelevant? That would be news to the tons of scientific data piling up. Self esteem and overeating are the same thing? That's a wee bit of an overstatement. All animals, including humans tend to "overeat" if given the opportunity. This is because in natural environments food is always scarce. Mice that get overeat and become obese don't do so due to self esteem issues. There really is evidence that insulin regulation and other factors make it harder for some.

[Jasonlittlex]

@DreadLaw2 Genetics is not irrelevant. I am a fan of Objectivism, Ayn Rand, and I think Miss Van Damme does a great job, but the general ignorance of genetics and evolution on the part of Objectivists is shocking - you all are as bad as the general population on this issue! Genetics is not irrelevant to human behavior. All manner of psychological problems have a genetic basis and there are most likely group differences in Asian, White and other populations in IQ and temperament.

[DreadLaw2]

@Jasonlittlex As with all idiotic posts, easily cast away with a simple sentence as to the bias and Absurdity of your own projections. I'm no Objectivist, not be a long shot.

[Jasonlittlex]

@DreadLaw2 I didn't understand your last post at all. You seemed to state that genetics are irrelevant to mental functioning and psychology - that would be false. Also, you said that self-esteem and overeating are the same thing - I am not even sure what you mean by that statement. Are you claiming that all issues related to overeating and being overweight can all be reduced to self-esteem issues? That would be false as well.

[DreadLaw2]

@Jasonlittlex Nope, I didn't say that... Or that. You should become a proffesional strawman builder. It seems you are far more interested in attacking the fringe meaning you can take from my perfectly true statements, then in taking the majority of the content about being good parents and treating all people as human beings however young they are. God I hope you don't have children with prorities as twisted as that.

[Jasonlittlex]

@DreadLaw2 Well Dread you aren't speaking clearly. You most definitely said genetics are irrelevant. Anyone can see the post. And you also made the statement about self-esteem and overeating, its in the post. So I really don't know what you are saying. Why don't you try it one more time. Why are you personally insulting me by the way? Nevermind, that's probably a pointless line of questioning. But please clarify, do you believe genetics influences personality or not.

[unrealchaos528]

@DreadLaw2 I know standards for youtube comments aren't very high, but you should work on your reading comprehension. This is part 2. Also, some children do get fat naturally due to genetics and other things, but you are correct that is not the case with most people.

[unrealchaos528]

@DreadLaw2 I know standards for youtube comments aren't very high, but you should work on your reading comprehension. This is part 2. Also, some children do get fat naturally due to genetics, hormones and other things that make it an uphill battle and in some instances completely impossible without extreme measures such as lipsuction, but you are correct that is not the case with most people.

[mrsdistancerunner]

Lisa, you articulated the qualities of a good education brilliantly because you are a master communicator. I recognize your academic model and have been blessed to have unintentionally implement these principles with my child through love and compassion. Thank you for articulating WHY the children should learn history, math, science, and classical literature. Further, I’ve seen your explanation on the difference between writing and communicating. IT WAS BRILLIANT!

[FilipinoObjectivist]

I'm so glad you exist!

[CLASAXFLU]

Wonderful video. I sent it to my son for my 1 1/2 year old grandson. Thank you for everything you do!

[jjhung2]

This is just the result of different cultures emphasizing different proficiencies. Asians emphasize competence and hard work. Westerners emphasize leadership skills over knowledge. Western parents boost their children’s egos to such an extent that even the worst students have a preternaturally inflated ego about their abilities. According to surveys, American kids rank worse than some third-world countries in math but is first in self-confidence when asked how they did on the math test.

[ReasonSharp]

@jjhung2 "This is just the result of different cultures emphasizing different proficiencies."

I'd like to rephrase that:

This is the horrible result of different cultures emphasizing on different alternatives of a false dichotomy.

Lisa VanDamme is right-on with this and I think the graduates from her school can attest to that.

[nocturnalc]

I would recommend Stefan Molyneux's response here at: watch?v=u-jg90JNksE

The tiger mother is excellent at creating fearful slaves that will not be able to overcome their slavery. Slaves are not happy by the way. A world with next to no violence requires child development with no verbal, physical, sexual violence. No fear what so ever. Governments are in opposition to this because they know that's the foundation to keeping power. Fear driven by their morality.

[nprovenzo]

I think the real tragedy is that there isn’t a VanDamme Academy close enough for my stepdaughter to attend. Bravo, Ms. VanDamme!

[Sam26100]

Now that I think about it, many of the problems that your critics cite such as: gluttony, drugs, violence, etc are to a very large extent a result of parenting which supports the false dichotomy of happiness and success. Children are bored in schools because they don't honestly see the purpose for WHY they are forced to study and don't see it as a way to become more happy

THAT is the reason they do drugs, and join gangs. Self-destructive behavior is by definition not the path to happiness

[AlexanderLee1]

@Sam26100 Very good point; you are correct.

One additional point: there is a small carrot dangling in the child's future, in the form of "a good college education" which leads to a high-paying job, but he won't necessarily be happy once he gets there.

[Sam26100]

Very good video. I think this is a very deep subject and is at the root of one of society's greatest problems. 

[oprivateer]

The Chinese repeat the Russian mistakes from the 1990s. They acknowledge they have very much to cover in order to succeed, but they have no idea where to begin.

[exarchives]

Bravo - Foundational Value Based - We Need More of This to "Educate" the Media!

[SuperFinGuy]

It is striking how ignorance dissolve into nothing with some reason and reality. You are a source of light in this time of resurfaced ignorance and coercion.

[Dante0426]

Thank you, Lisa. It's comforting to know there are still some people out there capable of rational thought.

[qtutoringhelps]

Good video. The article may dissolve into dust, but the products of that type of system do not, unfortunately.

[SuperFinGuy]

@qtutoringhelps Not until the irrationalities start to be more evident.

[legendre007]

Thank you for educating people about this matter! :-)