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From: getitsorted26
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  • Do you like Coca Cola

  • does this guy think he's funny...?

  • dear Matt

    How do i stop my cat spewing up up after every meal?

  • Dear Matt,

    can i stabb you in the mouth like 1million times? loool coz i suck dick looooooooool

  • Polly does have a cracker.

  • dear matt,

    can you say the word penis?

  • You can fu*k me for eternity.

  • worst fucking impression everr

  • This is really frustrating, I've been complaining about you not making enough of these but it is actually that they don't pop up in my subscription feed :(

  • Dear Matt,

    What's shakin' bacon?

  • Dear Matt,

     Have you ever really been so far as to even really want to look more like? Sincerely, Derpy

  • Dear Matt,

    I need a advice from you because you're very wise!

    I have a new girlfriend and she's really hot! (yay for me!). The problem is she told me she had slept with more than 5 guys before. Do I need to boil her or something like that before sleeping with her?

    Thanks!

  • Damn Matt, stop being more and more awesome with every new video you dish out. I totally cheered at your rebuttal to the Christian fundie comment. I never knew where you stood on this issue. Makes you about a jillion times more awesome that before.

  • Dear Matt,

    This isn't much of a funny question, I'm just genuinely curious to find out : Have you ever tried your luck on any talent television shows like x-factor or the Idol series? Comedy and joking aside, you've obviously got a half decent set of pipes, you could be the token quirky/funny contestant, and make a boatload of cash, maybe.

  • sorry about the huge number of comments i shared with this "KhuntMaster"....

  • Comment removed

  • Dear Matt, My girlfriend is hot but she likes terrible movies like The Holiday and hates great movies like the Godfather and Back to the Future. What should I do?

  • Apologies to Matt and everyone else who has to put up with seeing my religious argument with this "FirasTeinz" person...

  • dear matt, my shit is always sorted... can you unsort my shit pls (universe and time being sequential)

  • o no he mentioned religion in the video! quick lets get out of here b4 the flame war.... o shit too late

  • Timmeh,

    Will there be more penis songs?

    Thanks,

    Ash

  • MOOSE!

  • Guys. This is seriously not the place to have this discussion. No one comes here for a philosophical debate, we come for music, shit-sorting and penis jokes. Can you have the discussion somewhere else, please?

    On the other hand, Matt is right, there is probably not a god.

  • If God is not real, then who created God?! Huh! Wait ...What?

  • Dear Matt,

    What's your zombie plan?

  • I was looking forward to the bacon part sort ya shit out lol

  • Dear Matt,

    If there was a God, could he create so much shit, that he himself could not sort it out?

  • Dear matt why does shit get sorted

  • And so hilarious and magnetic :)

  • You're awesome Matt :)

  • Dear matt

    how is it that

    m rhymes are crap

    and that half the time they dont make sense cos i like to try to add in a good bit at the end and it goes like this?

    the end

  • I love you even more because of this episode :D

  • I've been trying to tell people penguins are fucked for YEARS!!

  • SilverFlames must be happy. He is. So. Happy.

  • lol silver flames is one of my best friends.

  • Dear Matt,

    I just had a large shit, followed by a small shit, followed by a medium shit. Can you help me sort my shit?

    Thanks.

  • Dear Matt, what's funnier than 24?

  • Dear Matt,

    Why the hell am I even watching this. Talking penguins. U KIDDING ME U.

  • WOO you uploaded this episode on my birthday. Thank you Matt for always sorting my shit out.

  • Matt please help! I cant see my forehead! what should I do?!

  • Dear Matt, why?

  • Can you sing a vocaloid song for me?

    Possibly world is mine, alluring secret, or ten faced? Please, I'm dying

  • MATT, WHAT CAT HENCE NOW DO FOR 7? IS NICE. FACT. I LIKE PIE

  • Dear Matt,

    Which sexual acts would you perform for $100?

  • Dear Matt,

    I saw a cute guy walking through the hallway. How do I get him to talk to me? He doesn't know me and I think he has a girlfriend.

    From,

    Karen

  • Soooo, looking at the trend. To become the viewer comment of the week i have to post some seriously stupid hate post, sounds like fun :D

    Who else is up for complaining about the lack of monkey from the last video on the main channel ?

  • 1:43 Jeremy Clarkson?

  • First of all, I love you for your Twilight answer! Second, penguins really do shove one penguin off into the water first and then stand back and watch because that's how they test to make sure the water's clear of predators, no joke. LOL.

  • Dear Matt, I'm a huge fan, and I'm also a Furry. Last year, after a convention, over the internet, a friend said he was really into me, we share a lot of interests, but there are two problems: 1: He lives 3000 km away in a conservative country. 2: He's really into My Little Pony, and I'm not.

  • Dear Matt,

    How do I know if I like Mexican food?

  • Dear Matt,

    Too many people i know try and argue with me when i tell them that God doesn't exist... how can i prove to them once and for all that i'm right and that he is a load of bollocks?

  • @KhuntMaster Dear KhuntMaster, You say that God doesn't exist, then who created the universe and who put life in you and every human,, and who created plants and animals?

  • @FirasTeinz the big bang created the universe, simply science put life in me and every human, and evolution created plants and animals...

  • @KhuntMaster oh really? science "put" life in you? speak some logic...science could do lots of wonders but NEVER put create a LIFE!, for example, see how much science has advanced with technology, with all the rockets that were sent to explore the universe all the mean of transports and phones and computers etc... and YET! we are unable to put life in a dead ant, only GOD can do that, and that is a proof of his existence.

  • @FirasTeinz no you fool... science explains how life was put in everything... and all living organisms can create life... does that mean that every living thing is a God itself? of course it doesn't... i'll wait for your next comment before saying any more =P

  • @KhuntMaster yes let's discuss every point alone :P , OK, i didn't clearly get what you meant by your last comment,but i think i get what you were trying to say, you need to see the difference between a "living organism" and GOD, a human body without the life that God gave it is nothing but a corpse, and God is not to be defined by an organism, God is beyond our mental abilities to comprehend and the universe has been created so precisely , that "big bang" wasn't a coincidence...

  • @FirasTeinz can i ask how old you are? and things happened and evolved... are you trying to tell me that God puts life into every single living thing today... so when a baby is born, it's God who puts life into it straight away? cos if that's what you're saying, it's ridiculous...

  • Comment removed

  • @FirasTeinz as much as i'd like to, tbh it's not worth my time =P you believe what you want to believe, and i'll believe what i want to believe. i only have a problem with religion when people try to force their beliefs upon me... but from what you're saying, do you not believe in the theory of evolution?

  • @KhuntMaster well, i really didn't want to give you that impression , i didn't mean to force you to do anything, i was just trying to have a descent conversation, but clearly you don't want to, so it's simple, i did what i wanted to do, you're free to believe whatever you want, at least i hope i managed to make you even consider that what Im saying's worth thinking about, and I don't have all the answers, but what i know is that God created the first human being, Adam (pbuh)

  • @KhuntMaster and personally, i find the evolution theory a ridiculous simple minded and Stupid theory

  • @FirasTeinz okay well if you find the theory of evolution ridiculous, you have much to learn... and if you believe the creation story (adam and eve) and the other creation story (god created everything in 7 days) then you are completely ignorant, as there is SO much scientific evidence for the origins of the universe (which contradicts the bible), and absolutely no evidence for god...

  • @KhuntMaster im muslim...

  • @FirasTeinz okay well apply what i said previously to your creation story =P

  • Comment removed

  • @FirasTeinz Stephen Hawking and Albert Einstein have never EVER proven that God exists... so i dunno where you've conjured that up from... and science doesn't say that God exists... there is absolutely NO proof whatsoever that god exists... if there was proof, then it wouldn't be 'faith' or 'belief" '... it would be "fact" ... i rest my case... saying "the universe must have been created by god" isn't proof... just because some questions don't have answers, doesn't mean you assume God caused it.

  • @KhuntMaster

    here's a proven fact, the human being, according to you, God did not create the human being, then please...tell me who did?? huh? who created such an AMAZING system that works so perfectly?! from the blood cells that circulate our body to the eyes and brain etc... i can't wait to read your answer, hopefully you won't tell me that the human being was a monkey -__- and even if you believe that, who created the monkey and the rest of the animals and the plants???????

  • @FirasTeinz human beings evolved, just like every other life form in the world... over billions of years, starting with single-cell organisms and very basic microscopic life forms, every living creature and plant on planet earth has evolved to what you see around you today... you can't honestly tell me that god made every single individual being with his hands... you obviously haven't learned much in biology... evolution created an amazing system that works perfectly... it is simply science...

  • Comment removed

  • @FirasTeinz no, the truth is, there is no god... if you think that god created every single individual living thing then you're a plank... i'm not ignorant, i'm just not afraid to accept that there is no god... if i get proven wrong when i die, i'll accept it... but until then, there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever for god; ergo i firmly believe that there is no such thing... just because i can't explain how living things started, doesn't mean that god must exist...

  • @KhuntMaster DUDE i love religious arguments. And this right here is some great shit, no sarcasm intended, just wanted you to know it's fucking awesome. gj

  • @Grindxors143 haha thanks... i like them up until the point where the other person can't see that i've won =P then it just gets frustrating... have you got anything to bring to this one ? XD

  • @KhuntMaster Actually, I kinda like the thought of being a God, because I can create life. Just sayin. xD

  • @stupidmonkey4361 um... can you create life? you can't even restore a dead ant from the dead and bring it to life, only GOD can.

  • @FirasTeinz i'd say that reproduction is creating life... cell + cell ----> organism ...

  • @KhuntMaster USE YOUR BRAIN!!! science explained lots of phenomenons and yet it cannot Explain the origin of the First primitive cells!! and YES! if science can't explain something, hands down That's when Religion Interferes!! so OPEN your eyes and quit thinking with such a simple minded way, look, Human created science, So you can't possibly say that science created human, That's no Logic! You want an EVIDENCE of god's existence? The Holy Quran, don't discuss further until you read it, agree?

  • @FirasTeinz humans didn't create science, they discovered it... religion isn't based on fact, it's based on faith, which is belief without evidence... which is nonsense... you're being simple minded to disregard all the scientific discoveries of the last 2000 years... and some followers of your religion believe that it's right to kill innocent people by blowing themselves up... doesn't sound right to me... a holy book isn't evidence of anything... harry potter is a book, doesn't mean it's true

  • @KhuntMaster first, the people who blow themselves to kill innocents misinterpreted Quran,Because Islam is a religion of peace, but unfortunately some people understand it in a wrong way,so don't blame the religion, 2nd, Holy quran is a book, but this book was created thousands of years ago, the Quran is not just a book, it's a miracle because it contains God's words, so please before you talk about things you don't have a clue about, Do some effort and read Quran, and have some faith...

  • @FirasTeinz what i know is that in Islam it's forbidden to kill an INNOCENT life intentionally.

  • @FirasTeinz i'm not blaming THE religion, i'm blaming Religion itself. and just cos it was created thousands of years ago and is said to contain the word of god, doesn't mean it does.... and okay, let's say you're right... what about christianity, judaism, hinduism, budhism... are they all wrong and you're right? and i'm not gonna read the quran and i'm not gonna have faith in a load of bollocks... science is fact, religion in general is a load of rubbish...

  • @KhuntMaster you're being so stubborn to even read Quran, which is MY EVIDENCE, you asked me for an evidence, i gave you one, and yet you refuse to even read it...so what's the point if you deny anything against your arguments...and No, it's not a matter of right or wrong, the last religion sent by GOD was Islam, That's why it's the rightful one, because it was the Final message, but some people kept following the previous ones which is wrong, religion gives guidance, Respect to other religions

  • @FirasTeinz well obviously i'm not gonna read the holy book of any religion... so according to you every other religion is the wrong path to follow. so the people who follow the same religion as you who think it is right to kill innocent people... how do you know that they're the ones who misinterpreted the word of the quran... how do you know you haven't got the whole thing wrong? me reading the quran isn't gonna make me believe in something which doesn't exist...

  • @FirasTeinz you might as well say "i believe in unicorns because 1000 years ago somebody drew a picture of one and said it was sacred, so i'm going to dedicate my life to this magical unicorn who has never been seen or heard or answered prayers... but apparantly it's all-powerful and yet it lets hundreds of thousands of innocent people die through disasters both natural and man-made... but this is the fact, and the unicorn created the universe and everything in it, and anything else is bollocks"

  • Comment removed

  • @FirasTeinz that's EXACTLY why religion is bullshit... "no scientist could create the holy book, the word of god"... well... some average human beings wrote the holy books... if i took some ecstasy and started hallucinating i could write a book and said that god told me what to write... you have literally shot yourself in the foot, and this argument is over... to me, the unicorn created the holy book of harry potter. the unicorn came to jk rowling and told her to write. sounds about as likely...

  • @KhuntMaster as i said, you can't keep arguing with me without reading Quran, All your arguments are worthless when you haven't read the Quran, so in order for me to prove to you this book contains God's words you NEED to read, otherwise, your arguments are TOTALLY based on personal opinion and prejudgments and naive theories that in the end are nothing but completely rubbish and worthless opinions....

    btw, you still haven't answered my question bout the origin of the first primitive cells :)

  • @FirasTeinz ok so the theory of evolution and the facts about the origins of the universe are naive theories that are rubbish and worthless... you clearly learnt a lot at school... and i've read parts of the bible, same difference, it's a load of bollocks... and i don't KNOW the origins of the universe, and nor does any other human being... stop talking like you KNOW there is a god... because nobody knows, it's not a fact, it's faith. Religion is ENTIRELY based on opinion and belief, not fact...

  • @FirasTeinz wikipedia "Abiogenesis" - first few paragraphs of that should give you some idea... simply random chemical reactions formed proteins which developed into enzymes then cells and so on and so forth... i'm not a biologist, so i don't really care, nor am i a philosopher or a student of religion... my lack of belief in god stems from many things... if god made every individual person, why did he make some evil who wanted to kill good and innocent people...

  • Comment removed

  • @FirasTeinz yeah i have a lot of questions, like why do bad things happen to good people, why do natural disasters claim thousands of innocent lives, why is life such a struggle, why do people around the world not have enough to eat, why do some people strap bombs to themselves and blow up civilians, why do freaks of nature happen... why did god allow us to get all this scientific evidence if it's all wrong? why am i wasting my time replying to you. where does the quran answer theses?

  • @FirasTeinz and the last thing i'm gonna say... is i can create life by combining my sperm and a woman's egg... and i don't believe in god... so according to what you've said, i am both god and the devil... and according to me, neither exist... so that means that i don't exist... finally... Adolf Hitler...

  • @KhuntMaster i said what i wanted to say...

  • @FirasTeinz right well i refuse to "prostrate to his greatness"... does that make me the devil? why would god create something bad if god is good. why do many people see god in a different light, were they changed by the devil to believe something that isn't true? is believing in factual science corruption and a sin? is everything bad a result of this one devil creature? why does every religion have a different definition for everything... it's all a load of shit and you're just another psycho..

  • @KhuntMaster no not anything bad that happens is caused by Iblis, somethings are meant to happen because it's God's will, for example if someone was hit by a car and died, it's God's will and that's beyond our mental abilities so we can't question why? Islam encourages science and gives a Huge value to the scientists! as i said before, Read QURAN , that's my best PROOF I GOT!! and with respect to all other religions as i said before Islam was the last message, Why don't you read the Quran?

  • Comment removed

  • @FirasTeinz did you just reply to yourself?

  • @xomey lol , didnt realize that xD but i fixed it :p thx

  • @KhuntMaster by the way, that's wrong, where did the two cells come from from the FIRST place?

  • Comment removed

  • Comment removed

  • OK, but if I brought Lollis, and Beer, AND Pokemon - we're good right?

  • Dear Matt,

    Why do ladies go to the toilet together?

  • Dear Matt,

    Why did you call me a motherfucker?! Where did our relationship go wrong?!

  • NZ Lager Fuck yeah

  • You've got a great view out.

  • Lol, i love your constant referances to the "Schfifty Five" song

  • 1:21 agreed

  • Dear Matt,

    Why do girls paint their toenails? They wear socks and/or shoes that cover them 95% of the time anyways.

  • Dear Matt,

    why doesn't jsut everybody go here, to Prague, Czech republic, when they KNOW we have the greatest beer, chicks,a shitton of weed, and like history and shit??

    thanks,

    Richard

  • Dear Math,

    In this (the last) episode (question dooooinhay) you showed us the penguins - which leads me to the following question, motherfucker:

    why has the falling penguin a boner? Is it because - as you suggested - he slept with the other black dude's wife and still is horny OR is it because he's always able to look at your back hanging there?

    by the way... you could maybe write "penis" on it. that everyone can see the obvious.

    penis pepepepenis,

    northpolestan

  • for the poster, did you use technology or was it a non technology?

  • Bacon? Where? You're supposed to say, "Yeahbacon" in a video or you don't get the money.

  • Dear Matt,

    How does one become as fucking fantastic as you?

  • Comment removed

  • Dear Matt

    Recently, my cum tastes weird. I don't want help, I just thought you should know.

  • Dear Matt, why have you changed your hairstyle?

    Sincerely

    Mikołaj Aleksy Szczepański

  • heddo

    i have some mental issues in my pants. what do you have?

    banana!

  • Dear Matt,

    How can I get a haircut just like you?

  • The viewer comment of the week was posted 3 weeks ago, this displeases me.

  • you kind of also sorted the "does god exist" here

  • Dear Matt,

    My brother became a zombie today. And he still owes me 60 bucks! What should I do?!

  • LOVE these vids Matt! Don't stop making them, please.

  • Dearest Matt,

    Have you noticed the name for this channel also reads ge, Tits or ted? sooooooooooo, which is it tits? or ted?

  • where you live man i wanna turn up with lollies and beer now

  • 4:00

    Woo! Atheist e-five! *e-fives*

  • Dear Matt,

    Can you please attempt to do the horse neigh sound effect you have in your videos? And then maybe make it into a song. That would be nice. Thanks.

  • Thanks Matt! :)

  • Comment removed

  • Dear Matt,

    I've got this strange bruise on my arm that looks kinda like a Wookie that just showed up a few weeks ago after I was in this horrible accident. What kind of superpower should I claim that it gives me to make a girl more likely to sleep with me?

  • dear matt, whats with number 26? you have it in both of your channels

  • Dear Matt,

    How is it called "Viewer Comment of the Week" if you don't post a weekly video?

  • Dear Matt

    My pen is broken. What do I do?

  • @synticha Dear Matt

    My pen-is broken. What do I do?

  • Well, actually eternity never ends no matter where you are... that's why they call it eternity.

  • @TheMperor5 No, no matter where you are, you will always be there!

  • Screw team edward and team nacob. I'm on Team Matt.

  • Later deck :D

  • Dear Matt,

    Y U NO CHINESE?ლ(ಥ益ಥლ)

  • Actually, if she's a huge fan and super hot, she'd be perfect for blow-drying wet mammoths.

  • @Swenglish Hahaha, that made my day, good one !

  • @Swenglish

    This made me laugh soooo much!

  • @06ellie0 Sorted.

  • Dear Matt,

    I'm about to take a 3 an a half hour bus journey. Could you invent a time machine, go back to when you were making this video, and give me some advice as how to occupy myself for this trip.

    Thanks

  • 3:59...love that laugh, it's so evil. I'll laugh just like that when I meet the next crazy religious person mbuhahahahah

  • Dear Matt, where is your house? I want to bring you lollies and beer.

  • Dear Matt,

    I recently subscribed to your channel, and I noticed, Y U NO TELL ME A WEIGHT LOSS SECRET??

  • Dear Matt,

    The girl I was courting turned out to be a cunt, and she basically talked shit about all her friend to me, what is the best way to distribute all this information for lolz.

  • i agree that twilight is literally shit but stabbing her???

    it whoud be better to burn her or anithig else so you make sure she is totally dead...

    she could be a vampire too

  • OMG! BACON!!!

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