Snowy Conditions Proving Hazardous For Nation's Idiots

[ZX2ManDave]

60 idiots hit the dislike button with their frostbitten fingers.

[Devoti]

i ate de-icing salt when i was 7. i got sick...

[peanut1billion]

all of canada is 0-1% idiots :D

[FrizzySpackleroni]

Good thing it doesn't snow where I live! ;)

[BIGSNAKE16]

Comment coming after this commercial.

[Theawsomepwner]

I think you got my county wrong. I live in western NC.

[cmau14]

wow my county is in the 0-1% category, which is very surprising because I live in a college town

[LuckyLokiLuko]

Anyone else have a problem with them calling it the Snowlocaust? I find it kind of offensive... that they have no idea that holocaust refers to a massive conflagration, aka fire. Despite your best efforts you can't set snow aflame. because it melts, and then evaporates, and only then burns at ridiculously high temperatures. You can ignite steam, but that would be a vaporlocaust, and that's just silly.

[ElongatedVowels]

@LuckyLokiLuko Cool story bro'.

[skillcosby88]

@LuckyLokiLuko thanks for telling me bro, changed my life!

[VelaToNorma7]

@LuckyLokiLuko I died in the Holocaust.

[ConnorxNxKC]

@LuckyLokiLuko Your comment is silly. It's the Onion News Network. It's supposed to be funny and stupid! You get what they're saying.

[thepower1802]

Yeah 1-2% for my county? That is a joke. This must be a map of the country's idiot population in year 2157.

[WindBreaker77]

lol the title makes me laugh

[bookercreator]

My county only gets a 0-1%? I would raise that by 80-85%

[vjm3]

Onion News Network tip #17:

Pouring cold water on your windshield to melt the ice is a better alternative to pouring hot water. This is because the cold snow will absorb the hot from the water much quicker than from the cold water. Since ice is different than cold water, it won't freeze over but still adequately melt the ice.

Thanks Onion!

[celloguy23]

@TheYouwontgetit, it is when it's a satirical comedy show...I guess Youwontgetit...

[moleman40000]

avoide walking, running or driving into trees

[keetonbob]

My county = 2-5% Idiots? Oh it's MUCH higher than that.

[DUHVlNE]

pause at 0:59

[knowkonow]

60 people really wanted a super slush

[rammice]

Hey I resent that, I'm a Minnesotan :P

Gotta love The Onion

[m1c000l]

i'm scared i've been called an idiot and i think i live in the mid-west

[TheYouwontgetit]

i do not think that it is appropriate to call viewers huge idiots...

[UltimateBritney]

lmao

[8BitTehGameMasta]

Aww man, :25 listed my county as having a lot of idiots.

[b0010100b]

hip-to-waist ratio is dumb-high... oh yeah, clip was funny too.lol

[THEPANTSWEREDEAD]

- Snow is cold

[pat5168]

59 people got frostbite when they locked themselves outside in their underwear.

[blackacidlizzard]

"snowlocaust"

Probably an arrestable offense in Germany.

[pombenenge]

@blackacidlizzard No it's not. I live there and I think you can say that to anyone. Infact i shall now try it out and find out what happens.

[blackacidlizzard]

@pombenenge

Just be sure you don't dispute the official snowfall reports. If they say six inches, it is six inches and don't you dare say otherwise.

;p

[TheGuitarslayer1307]

It didn't work. And it hurt real bad. WELL OF FRICKIN" COURSE IT DID!!

[dedalus22]

looool



[MEGABOINK65]

lmao



[cmsasuke17]

ONN need to do an update on national idiots, maybe create a guide for dumbasses out there to realize that the joke is to make it look real and use satire in there broadcasting, and i have seen about many of the idiots think its real or the things the ONN say is "so fake, that never happened", stated by the idiots. Makes me wanna find a sledgehammer and whack it an idiots head. next time i hear a foreigner say "stupid americans", Im gonna yell out "I agree!"

[hevil93]

0:41

[Carthsgtr]

I find it incredibly ironic that this news station seems more proffessional than ANY of the Australian news networks.

[dub2dabone11]

"Keep icicles out of eyes"

hahahahaa

[SexyChck7821]

true enough.. i still wanna get laid tho

[Slamwoo93]

a garbage bad does not make a "great coat" HA HA HA

[goonodeath]

"It didn't work...it hurt real bad"

[1488rockstar]

lindsay lohan should check out that guide they talked about.

[GSCommander]

I live in California and I just laugh at these MidWest/Eastcoast retards suffering.

[d4k074p4l]

00:14 i wanna pound her in her midwest region this hour

[uninterestingentity]

@d4k074p4l Why do you want to hit her on the right arm?

[d4k074p4l]

@uninterestingentity thats where the 4th holes at

[ZacksquiresMusic]

i cant find the guide on the website D: how am i supposed to stay safe?

[getemall69]

totally off topic but who made that aloe aloe song

[lostpear]

I love the Cold Weather Advice for Idiots at 1:01 and the "Download the SNOWLOCAUST Widget" below.

[O4archer]

Do not eat de-icing salt.

WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF­FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF is wrong with it?

[phoenix7289]

@O4archer lol you aren't serious right XD

[djChives95]

I'm an idiot in Florida! Give me tips on hurricanes!

[karindi1]

@FemaleSingle7383 Your boyfriends right... You're ugly as fuck, fat as hell, the most stupid woman on the planet and a random whore that just wants attention. Oh and you're probably not even a girl :)

[Battlefieldcom384]

@FemaleSingle7383 we dont give a fuck spammer.

[Lovetek10]

@FemaleSingle7383 No! You're extremely pretty. Your boyfriend sounds like a bit of a dick.

[TheOtherBradBird]

Heh, Iowa seems to be quite dense on the idiot scale... Ba da BaBa Pish!

[wolfoftherain53]

@FemaleSingle7383 then your boyfriend is an asshole. you're beautiful.

[1watchnU2]

What happened to Andrea Bennett?

[NerdMirage]

Hold down 8 to hear the creeper

[kyubei]

tired of the shit dat normal news always shows? watch the onion news network to unwind :)

[TheRsMuffin]

omfg, snowlocaust, the name everybody avoided then onion did. roflmfao

thank you,

[Idosander]

If you talk of "the onion" as fake, as opposed to, say Foxnews - you're actually the idiots. If you think u're smart for discovering the obvious you're only a step closer than the supposed real idiots to whom this video seems real

[DoctorWeeTodd]

IS THE SAME ONION CAST GOING TO STAY?

[bearmare]

I declare Brooke Alvarez my new masturbation motivational aid. Yes, it will be wonderful.

[psychopuffin]

lol "if you urinate on self, change pants immediately"

[Zonker66]

The Onion is the is the new Maxim.

[DerrickForLife]

lol i didnt realize it was the onion at first, i thought it was real

[pab4994]

Snow is cold LOL

[MiketotheIke]

lmao at: do not attempt to mow lawn

[thelittlegreenliar]

OMG you can't eat the de-icing salt?

[RandomIsPleasure]

How the heck did she keep a straight face?

[xXKOSTRALXx]

Hey shes pretty hot.

[gamutman]

@xXKOSTRALXx Sure if you like chubby girls with blood on their heads.

[tcampbellla]

@xXKOSTRALXx Very Hot!!!!

[bonezillion]

@xXKOSTRALXx Ew, he neck is huge and her head is small XD

[keetonbob]

And NOTHING about how lifelong midwesterners seem to forget how to drive in snow EVERY TIME IT SNOWS?!?! Disappointing.

[chicarocks123]

Uh she could be married to a Hispanic person idiot lol

[TheZorseWhisperer]

thats my bday

[JoeLoverr]

The snowlocaust!!! hahahaha

[DocDiddles]

Sadly this is pretty much the British public when it comes down to ice and snow.

[Mcheetah]

A pretty blonde white lady with a hispanic last name? Now, I KNOW this is fake.

But then again, I always knew The Onion was fake because I'm not a moron.

[kevthelad30]

@Mcheetah It's called satire.

[stuffedtater]

@Mcheetah good job

[intrigid]

SNOWLOCAUST!!

[TheSulski]

so when are they on tv? cuz ive never seen them

[RebornEon]

@TheSulski tommorrow @ 10:30 p.m.

=D

[madhouse221]

@TheSulski the sportsdome is on today (January 11, i just watched it ) and they are on  IFC January 21.

[Chrissysen]

THNK YOU EVERYONE! :)

[sydtull]

so not funny

[Songediter2000]

@sydtull I bet you're one of the idiots.

[gilbert4321]

Noobs with their snow freakouts. Canada ftw lol

[Scorp316]

I know an idiot. Actually I know plenty of them. They're called the people that think The Onion videos are real.

[RETARDKIDZDREAM]

@Scorp316 i know right i cant believe their is people like that but that would be funny if they where real

[chitoryu12]

@Scorp316

So China?

[YellowCheapers]

@Scorp316 lol, it always blows me away when I see someone responding to some onion news item as if it were real.

[SuperShazbott]

@Scorp316

Are the idiots the ones who think that we think its real ?

[Scorp316]

@SuperShazbott There's a difference between thinking someone thinks The Onion is real and someone actually thinking something is real.

What's that saying... when you "ass-ume" you become a pain in the ass to me?

[SuperShazbott]

@Scorp316

I think its assume (without the hyphenation) makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me", the pain in the ass may be just wishful thinking on your behalf, but in anycase, Round our way its "assumption is the mother of all fuck ups"

[Scorp316]

@SuperShazbott I know the real saying, I just use the other version of it.

But I like yours, too... hope you don't mind if I use it sometime.

[TENNSUMITSUMA]

@Scorp316

they seem to spend alot of money on something thats fake (but there is no way it can be real)

[lobber85]

@Scorp316 but they are...

[djholmes86]

@Scorp316 you're the idiot, these are real...

[Scorp316]

@djholmes86 Good joke, man!

[tomtomabs]

@Scorp316 this guys real funny

[ChickenPludder]

@Scorp316 you sir, are an idiot

[Scorp316]

@ChickenPludder I'm sorry, did that comment offend you?

[ChickenPludder]

@Scorp316 no, but i believe poeple have the right to believe in what they want to

even though it might be unbelievable

[Scorp316]

@ChickenPludder I don't think it's a matter of them wanting to believe what is said. I just think these people are too dense to see what's really going on. Granted, The Onion makes its news casts realistic. But anybody worth half their salts should be able to tell when a news title is made up. You'll never see "Sony Releases Stupid Piece of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work" as a news title in real life, so I'd rethink who you call an idiot, friend.

[BoredomPie]

@Scorp316 Nobody actually thinks its real, there just joking, i can't believe that 200 idiots gave you thumbs ups...*facepalm*

[Scorp316]

@BoredomPie You're fucking with me, right? Almost had me. For a second there, I thought there was someone on this planet stupid enough to think that not one soul mistakes Onion videos for real news. 

[BoredomPie]

@Scorp316 Nobody would think that they would call people idiots on TV. If you think people are that stupid then your retarded. I'm not going to argue with you though. You will probably still comment back though in hopes of human interaction.

[Scorp316]

@BoredomPie No, I think that you're too stupid to comprehend what I'm trying to tell you. There are people who believe Onion videos are real. I'm calling THEM idiots. Not the actors in the video. The commentors who say "OMG is this real" and other nonsense. Don't worry. It's a common mistake for idiots. It was a very complicated comment, what with the 3 sentences used.

[BoredomPie]

@Scorp316 Haha, no YOU dont get it. they dont really think this is real, there being trolls...holy shit your stupid...

[Scorp316]

@BoredomPie Several media companies have cited Onion news broadcasts as real material.I've seen companies mistake several Onion articles for fact, and they promptly remove them. By your logic, not ONE person is stupid enough to actually believe one of these videos... YOU ARE BEYOND DELUSIONAL. And if you say you're not going to argue with me, then actually stick by your guns and shut the hell up.

You've been had by: Scorp316. From this point on, I'm ignoring your half-witted responses.

[BoredomPie]

@Scorp316 Haha ok, when you at least graduate middle school then you can call me "half witted". The immature thing someone can do is not admit when they are wrong...

[BoredomPie]

@Scorp316 Haha ok Ill stop now but I just have to say this: your channel description is: "I was born in 1476 on the planet Alabama to a walrus and a moose. I learned to walk at the age of X, and at the age of Z I learned to curse. I enjoy taking stuff from other people (mainly from babies) and I also like breaking rocks with paper. When I turned R, I learned to talk street and took my talents to engage Team Rocket in a rap battle." haha your obviously not older than twelve!

[Scorp316]

@BoredomPie Physically I'm 19, but mentally I'm 7. That's all that means. And I agree with you. The immature thing someone can do is not admit when they are wrong. I'm waiting, pal.

[krazycore]

@Scorp316 ah~ onion needs them :D

[SKHSirNicolas]

Thanks to those advices I was able to survive! Thanks so much!

[WAFFULS491]

I was just driving and there's a snowstorm where I live, and there was hella lotta idiots on the road. This one kid pissed me off real bad so we followed him a few miles flipping him off the entire time, they're just that retarded.

[rogerlee337]

90% percent of drivers scream"OH SHIT" when hitting ice..the other 10% percent are from ohio and scream"HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS SHIT"

[EaAddict360]

@rogerlee337 sounds like my family xD

[rogerlee337]

@EaAddict360 lol

[rockleeownsu]

"lol snow is cold"

[911adt]

1. Go to Google.

2. Search "Top 50 Women on the Web".

3. Click the first link.

4. Go to number 7.

5. Laugh.

[Chrissysen]

@911adt lol but u kinda copyed me

[dinnerandashow]

It feels soooo good to hear this.

I saw at least 6 Asian girls on the columbia university campus wearing tight mini skirts and high heal shoes during the last snow storm.

[iso56k123]

So true. lol.

[bombercat123]

cant wait for onions sports on comedy central

[dieselheart001]

Formerly named "SNOWPOCALYPSE"!!

[darkvision1]

ROFLMAO at the ice in eyes. god i love this channel

[name456vids]

brooke alverez = boners

[DasGreenCow]

Hitler had the right idea. Just the wrong demographic.

[BlurbFish]

@DasGreenCow Bold statement.

The problem is just that you're wrong (about the demographic).

Unlike with Jews, it's been shown and proven multiple times that idiots actually affect our world negatively.

Now the problem is just to keep the number of idiots to a minimum...

[chris978820]

me and my friend tied a rope from the back of a bus to a large bucket and sat inside during the snow storm last week. Bad idea. R.I.P. Charlie.

[xoulepas]

@chris978820 why built a mosque near ground zero..? that's gonna create only shit..americans think Muslims attacked them..when in reality Bush bombed the wtc ..anyways.. so building a mosque near there..hmmm i dont know..that might b pushing it a bit..its not wrong or anything ..i dont give a shit i dont believe in a religion..just give me that towel over there will u?

[ericsyutubeaccount]

@xoulepas haha wow youre retarded

[xoulepas]

@ericsyutubeaccount i am..but we have some nice time difference ...chris...hhmmm...sleepy chris..u like the mosque ? Too bad Glenn Beck hasn't died yet...f you know an idiot, please make sure they're safe and not standing naked in a snow embankment on a dare. gotta love the onion

mamemimoma 1 day ago

mamemimoma 1 day ago

[chris978820]

@xoulepas no one gives a shit. i oviousl didn't mention that. or can you not read?

[xoulepas]

@chris978820 u need some pussy..fast..really fast..i oviousl didn't mention that....i oviousl didn't mention that....i oviousl didn't mention that....oviousl...OVIOSL...U OVIOUSL....

i can read...

[chris978820]

@xoulepas No you can't read. It's funny how you pointed out the ONLY typo in the sentence.But it's ok. Not a big deal.Just ONE typo.But for someone pointing out mis spelled words you probably shouldn't have mis spelled any of yours.Let's take a look at your comment. "Why built a mosque". "built" is used when it's already been done. Theres no mosque in nyc yet you stupid fuck. "i dont give a shit i dont believe in religion". you forgot the ' in "dont" 2 times and forgot the period after "shit".

[chris978820]

@xoulepas It seems like someone pointing out typos has even more trouble at spelling words. Once again your comment had nothing to do with what I said.

[xoulepas]

@chris978820 thank u for taking the time 2 point out my spelling weaknesses..theres an automated dictionary n i still make mistakes..imagine that ...anyway ...so why build a mosque near ground zero? didnt u americans busted our balls about Muslims n oh..how they terrorize you..n all that ? Now u wanna build a mosque near there? why dont we build one in ur ASS..?hahahah!!!! n never mind the ' (apostrophe) thing..its not very important....

[chris978820]

@xoulepas Np. It took like a minute to find all your mistakes. Not much time being spent and wasted. Maybe you haven't really payed much attention to American news? if you have then you would know that most americans don't want towel heads to build the mosque. Towel heads smell like shit anyway so thats the only part about them that would fit in the dirty parts of NYC. and like i said before. no one gives a shit since i didn't mention anything about the mosque or nyc. you stupid fuck.

[xoulepas]

@chris978820 ""most americans don't want towel heads to build the mosque""......oh dear..ex kkk member ?

r most americans like u ? what a wonderful nation ...nothin more 2 b said...i feel bad humiliating u here..its like steeling candy from a child...hahahahah

[chris978820]

@xoulepas Well after a group of terrorist towel heads were accused of crashing planes into the world trade center and killing thousands of people it's only natural that most americans wouldn't want more towel heads to build a building symbolizing their religion right next to where the new world trade center will be. How did you not understand that? lol. It couldn't be more obvious.

[rockleeownsu]

@xoulepas You're just embarrassing yourself by sinking to his level. You lump us Americans together with that kind of scum the same way he lumps all "towel heads" together and you're no better yourself. The way I see it you're just two children fighting over the same piece of candy. Both of you grow up.

[xoulepas]

@rockleeownsu after his last reply i do believe u r right...goodbye

[D3thByDonut]

lol my county is in the 10-20%

[ladfemax]

ahahaha "SNOWLOCAUST"

[kecks69cam]

Too bad Glenn Beck hasn't died yet...

[20324758]

you sure gonna need more that just advise to keep the nation idiots "healthy"

[bark1986]

avoid walking, running, or driving into trees LMAO

[mamemimoma]

If you know an idiot, please make sure they're safe and not standing naked in a snow embankment on a dare. gotta love the onion

[will9630]

i love onion!!

[marine5546]

this is probably there most realistic news video

[wannabesupergirl]

@Chrissysen go fuck yourself we all know that shit is old

[Chrissysen]

@wannabesupergirl Oh pardon me. Are you in a bad mood today? Someone needs a hug :)

[ChangeWasALie]

@Chrissysen Don't pause the video. You have to hold left while the video is playing and then hit up while it is at the beginning to play with the snake.

[chris978820]

@Chrissysen wtf. lmao. I didn't actually expect it to work when i tryed but it did. how and why is that there?

[2000Maedchen]

@Chrissysen

what the :D

[TheKaitlinrocks13]

@Chrissysen IT WORKED :D

[jblarsonchs]

@Chrissysen whoah! how did you do that?!

[3starbadman]

@Chrissysen you ROCK!

[forbasketballonly]

@Chrissysen

hOLY CRAP!

[Kimippsen]

@Chrissysen OH MY GOD!

[pyromaanisi]

@Kimippsen this thing is more than a half a year old :D

[BobSaysHi411]

@Chrissysen that's fucking awsome