Mock the Week - Black Hole Machine

[NathanJuK101]

Scottish and Irish picking on English there lol.

[DrJakeGreenstreet]

I Christopher hold a doctorate in astrophysics and my mates think I'm hilarious, because I keep my life and career separate you halfwitted twat.

[ChristophJames89]

Black Hole that will end the Universe? Does this guy know that there is a Super Massive Black Hole in the center of our Galaxy??

[Mullahgrrl]

@ChristophJames89 Im pretty sure he doesn't know that.

[22may95]

@ChristophJames89

do you know its just a joke?

[ChristophJames89]

@22may95 Not a very educated joke, i highly doubt that he even knows the inner workings of a black hole.

[22may95]

@ChristophJames89

he doesnt need to know it made people laugh which is the point of a joke.

[ChristophJames89]

@22may95 "he doesnt need to know it made people laugh"?

[22may95]

@ChristophJames89

he doesnt need to know about the ''inner workings'' of a black hole, the joke made people laugh.

you stuck up ponce

[richieblackhearted]

@ChristophJames89 Actually, from a different, philosophical viewpoint the joke is in perfect context. The universe does not necessarily have to end for your universe to.

For example, if the Cern LHC did indeed create a black hole, as far as every living organism within reach of being pulled in past the even horizon knows, their universe has effectively been destroyed.

Note that black holes constantly grow. If given a large enough timescale the literal context is also correct.

Pwned!

[jakamneziak]

Am i the only person who looks at the hadron collider and instantly thinks of the picture vinyl disc of enforcers 12?

[pacmandem]

@jakamneziak Too niche a comment for thumbs, methinks.

[utar88utar]

1) black holes does not END universes, mate.

2) LHC is to shoot particles into other particles. to devide them

not to combine their masses at large scale.

...jesus, i am a noob on physics, but they definitely dont know what they are talking about or play dumb to scare public.

[shazzy544]

@utar88utar He is a comedian -.-

[utar88utar]

@shazzy544 that's overstatement. he's a gent who says funny things, sometimes

but to call it comedy? that's too much.

[shazzy544]

@utar88utaryou meen frankie boyle?? He is a legend.

[utar88utar]

@shazzy544 legend? but he isnt that funny.

example (answer/question)

'4%'

- number of americans who think that Sarah Palin was/played in Monthy Python...

people laughed at it but it's not funny.

maybe his 'comedy' isnt as low as most of US 'comedians' these days but still...

i would say : monthy python was comedy.

ever saw stewart lee?

that's comedian, mate (not ofc in nowadays fast-food standards of comedy, but still, comedian)

[shazzy544]

@utar88utar O, fine. I guess ill have to dredge up some of the funny stuff he said, seeing as 1 dud of a joek is abviously enough to judge him by. Frankie isnt nessicarily the most witty comedian, or the most fast on his feet, but the grim narcasism he displays is hilarious. Like when he sits and tells us how the black hole machine in switzerland will end the univdrse, he is hilarious.

[StudioBurst]

@utar88utar it's called fucking humour, who gives a shit if it's possible, write to fuckin' Frankie you sad cunt.

[Knightrobo4]

What episode is this

[con271scouse]

240p we meet again

[dan11009]

russel says that frankies timing was the best he had ever seen, and i agree

[Drowninginantimatter]

A- It wouldn't end the WHOLE universe

B- More likely (relative to that 1 in 50 Million chance) it would create a micro-black hole which would do less damage.

[SarrasiHope]

"GO! Go Proudly!"

[AngelBiLove]

Im sure theres a black man watching this video whos going "why cant it be a whitehole!" :D

[gulbirk]

It CANT cause a black hole, LOL:

[ComradeAlpharius]

A black hole that will end the universe?

There are black holes already. The universe is still here.

[viSprinkles]

@ComradeAlpharius Our world is the universe of our existence, until we can escape and live on Omicron Persei 8 of course.

[NefariousVirtuoso88]

lamentable ignorance.

[19JamieFraser98]

hmm how about a bike :D:D

[MsPrinceoftennis]

Thumbs up if you checked the date of the video's upload right after Dara announced the universe is to be destroyed next wednesday.

[SirrSnowman]

I would add...... I don't give a fuck!

[alibalicharlton123]

It's a shame that it created a black hole and that it ended the universe ;D

[11014733]

me fapping has a one in 5 million chance of ending the universe....

[Daleksaresupreme1]

@11014733 whats fapping ?

[omg0what0happened]

@Daleksaresupreme1 it's slang for masturbating :P

[bexhornby]

lol i love the awkward silence after Frankie says "that will end the universe".. i love his laugh and russels :L

[ThatIzzyGirl]

"Or to give it its proper name: THE BLACK HOLE MACHINE." HAHAAA

[JazzhandsFrankie]

Did anyone else suddenly get the song 'Supermassive Black Hole' by Muse pop into their heads when they saw the title of this video??

[EpicBlueSpikes]

BANANA

[WhirledSol]

What black hole ends the universe? Oh Frankie.

[ILiveForScience]

Hawking radiation would've meant that if a tiny black hole was created by the LHC, it would have evaporated almost instantly, so there would've been no problem anyway. Science is your friend!

[Halldisa]

@ILiveForScience Uhuh.Science is our friend? So is nucleur power apparently.

[ILiveForScience]

@Halldisa Nuclear power is, and so is the earth, but when you cross nuclear power with the power of the earth (earthquakes) then it's not a good combination.

[Halldisa]

@ILiveForScience I would argue that crossing nuclear power with humans is not a good combination. Chernobyl was an earthquake was it

[441meatloaf]

@Halldisa

Chernobyl was an earthquake?? What are you talking about. Chernobyl did not happen due to earthquake, it happened due to failure of containment of the plutonium rods in the reactor that overheated. The power plant had infrastructure problems and ultimately led to nuclear fallout.

[brono25]

@Halldisa You wouldn't be alive if it weren't for nuclear power.

[Halldisa]

@brono25 lololol please explain

[brono25]

@Halldisa The sun is a giant nuclear reactor.

[zwaxx]

@brono25 Actually, the sun is the exact opposite.

[brono25]

@zwaxx Its not a fusion reactor?

[zwaxx]

@brono25 Nevermind. Got some sleep now and I see i mis-read. Yes, it is a large fusion-reactor, I was mixing in the powerplants that are fission reactors, which is the opposite of the sun.

[TheTheoldgit]

@brono25 How prey tell did you come to that conclusion?

[brono25]

@TheTheoldgit Like I already said, the sun is giant nuclear fusion reactor.

[HumanMonolith]

@TheTheoldgit

Well its so clean!

[Phoenix1664]

Destroy the planet maybe, not end the universe lol, not like thats any consolation though when we all become flying mince meat. Scientifically there is no chance of this even happening though, the LHC doesnt have anything like the power required to make a black hole, its just sceptics and scare tactics

[Ophiuchus123456789]

black hole.... my arse (hole)

[penguinswithswords]

@gamalasan well it makes sense now! 3 years after they were planning to do it duuuh

[gamalasan]

Its mind boggling that *anyone* can think a micro-black hole can do any damage.

A black hole in space is held together by gravity so intense it erases atomic structure into a quantum 'soup'

The micro BH created by CERN was created by kinetic force. As soon as that force dissipated (a fraction of a second) it flew apart again.

To say a micro BH collapse the earth will be like saying you bust a can of compressed air and all the air in the room rushes IN to the can

[cruz1506]

I saw an episode in which a young fan had send in a drawing of the black hole machine, but I forgot which one it was. Does anyone know?

[apoorvaupadhyaya]

love the silence at 0:16 lol

[thecheesemaster53]

1:05 - 1:14

[Oldbluesock]

my favourite episode

[BangingMash]

hahaha its so true why the hell would they take the risk of destroying the world just to learn more about protons and how the big bang theory happened. Yeh, we're still here, but was it really worth the risk?! Would that knowledge have been of any use to us if we all died?!

[Solensherre]

@BangingMash 1/50 million. I would take that risk even if it taught me to make a sandwich. Not a particularly difficult sandwich either.

The risk of dying by asteroids, exploding televisions, electric blackouts, a new plague, etc.etc. etc. iss muuuuch higher than one in 50 million. Let's all stop using the internet because it might grow into sentience and kill us all...

[9hello123]

@Solensherre 1/50 million? What? There is literally no chance at all.

[Solensherre]

@9hello123 A number given to my indirectly through Martin Rees. Though I and according to quick sourcework in the last 5 minutes shows that he is not concerned. Though I could point out that there's a 1/5*10^7 chance of microscopic black holes (thereby making a big one virtually nil) that really wasn't the point of my post.

I rather that such small probabilities that science poses as a risk is negligible in comparison with normal day to day risks.

[9hello123]

@Solensherre Yes theres a chance it will create black holes, but no there is no chance it could destroy the world it would have to violate many laws of physics to do that.

[Solensherre]

@9hello123 Again, that wasn't the point of my post. Picking a generic number would mean that I did not simply deny the opposition, I assumed that there was a chance that the world would be destroyed to show that even if bangingmash is correct, the risk is to small to really say "oh no we shouldn't do this"

[57Royston]

Russell should be safe because the gravitational pull from Dara's head will counterbalance the blackhole machine ;D

[MrsEdwardNigma]

8 people were sucked into the jaws of infinity!

[tashabasha888]

There's more space on scenes we'd like to see! Lol I would watch that episode if it ever happens. Wonder what the jaws of infinity look like?

[xeinkolt]

Everybody either thumb down my "Frankie Boyle needs his own show comment" or shut the fuck up. It was posted 6 months ago. Read when shit was posted or dont fucking bother replying to it.

[kebabuk]

@xeinkolt Or we could Thumb Down your comment

[cyanman123]

Probably not the hole universe. But it would have done some serious damage to the our part of galaxy

[9hello123]

@cyanman123 Lol.

[Drinkteax]

A machine that will create a black hole to end the universe! *silence* LOL frankie I love you. totally vote u for pm any day :P

[fluffymole0913]

left out the bit where Russell talks about having sex with pastry before he dies then mentions how awkward it would be to walk past Greggs :D

[dngrouscrgo]

theres more space on the scenes wede like to seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[filmmakerkenny]

i bet every1 who was part of the black hole machince r people that wanted 2 comited suicied

[117gotmilk]

english humor just is'nt funny.

[filmmakerkenny]

@117gotmilk u hav no since of humour

[117gotmilk]

@filmmakerkenny you people have a very dry sense of humour.

[TheGeniusHuman]

@117gotmilk in that case you do not understand the basic concept and principles of humour. Don't fault other things for your own insecurities ya plamf.

[117gotmilk]

@TheGeniusHuman the same could be said about you ya tool.

[fluffymole0913]

@117gotmilk fuck off watching it then if your too ignorant to accept different views....

oh and FYI it can hardly be called English humour on a show with a Scottish guy, an Irish host and numerous guests from South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, Canada and America....

[117gotmilk]

@fluffymole0913 You claim Im too ignorant to accept different views but your bashing my veiws?

it almost seems like your comment is selfdefeating....

[fluffymole0913]

@117gotmilk well maybe if you added 'in my opinion' at the end of your comment then so many people would not take it the same way. It just looked as if you had gone onto a clip of a famous British TV comedy panel show just to tell all of us that our humour is basically shit. I understand now that is probably not what you meant but it certainly looked that way.... Thankyou for your time.

[117gotmilk]

@fluffymole0913 i agree that what i said was really left open to interpretation, i shall try to speak more clearly in the future.

gday

[sepsepsep12]

@117gotmilk i like american and english comedy and i know u must be a complete fucking mongoloid to make such a statement!

[ohhaiichar]

"Hmm, what about a bike?"

[Jpbuckers]

a black hole can't end a universe lol but funny nonetheless

[JamieHowitt]

@Jpbuckers

Well, if everything in existance got sucked into it...

[sicarius1992]

@JamieHowitt It would have to be a pretty big black hole to do that haha. The idea that people seem to think that human technology has the power to end the universe is pretty funny to me :D

[JamieHowitt]

@sicarius1992

Human technology *right now* can't.

:P

[sicarius1992]

@JamieHowitt Yes I agree with that :D

[matrixphijr]

"There's more space on Scenes We'd Like To Seeeeeeee!"

Lmao. I love Dara talking about hammering on his fingers going, "Go proudly!"

[MrGBH]

The Large Hadron Collider has created thousands of black holes. But they're all as small as photons and vanish within milli-seconds. It's physically impossible given the amount of mass within the LHC for a Black Hole to form which could conceivably be a danger.

[harvesterofsorrow111]

@MrGBH One of my Computer Science Lecturers worked there, he was one of the first scientists to work there even before Tim Berners Lee :D how cool is that

[ZeOzzyProdigy]

@harvesterofsorrow111 Cool story bro. /caremoar..

[AssCakeBUcketWipe]

"There's more room on scenes we'd like to seeee..."

lol xD

[phucoff1]

hmmm, what about a bike?

[darkdestiny661]

lol the gaping jaws of infinity

[MrHamster24]

isnt the blonde one ginger now

[OTSTRETFORD]

It would not end the Universe anyway, but it was funny.

[ouiseylou]

never mind, found it :P

[ouiseylou]

what episode and series is this from??

[J0nny2k9]

How could someone dislike this?! Frankie Boyle is a fucking comical genius!

[GraiyFaerie]

Does anyone know where I can find the video of when a 7 year old enters a picture of Russell being dragged into a black hole? I think it was the next episode. :/

[TheWattsy93]

But I will add....I don't give a fuck. Class.

[tommykinda]

The energy required to make a black hole that would be big enough and last long enough to impact anything would require the energy created by the sun over decades. There is NO risk at all from the LHC.

[kielbasaj]

@tommykinda Except a black hole.

[verified2]

@tommykinda we could allways createw another big bang

[xbeccixc]

Aww bless Russell love him soo much :)

[Beansahol]

Frankie boyle is funny as fuck, but a black hole here would only affect our solar system, and barely affect our galaxy, let alone 'end the universe' and the hundreds of billions of galaxies that make it.

[kielbasaj]

@Beansahol Fuck the universe, if we die it's all over!

[Jakerius93]

A machine that could create a black hole, that could destroy the universe... *pause*

*lean back*

Lol

[fattymattyweasel]

This is such a frankie boyle epic

[jackbezance1995]

1:04 is the best bit

[Kerriangel]

A machine that could create a black hole that will end the universe.

-silence-

[xeinkolt]

Frankie Boyle needs his own show.

[BlackopsButla]

@xeinkolt tramadol nights.

[xeinkolt]

@BlackopsButla Go back and tell me that 6 months ago.

[angels77100]

@xeinkolt He already has his own show. Are you living in a cave or something?

[xeinkolt]

@angels77100 Read how long ago that was posted dickhead. Im just after saying that.

[angels77100]

@xeinkolt And I'm telling you that Frankie Boyle has got his own show, it's called 'Tramadol nights' on channel 4. For fuck's sake stop arguing and go google it if you don't believe me. Fucking ignorant asshole.

[ELREndLondonRule]

@xeinkolt He has his own show and it's shit.

[xeinkolt]

@ELREndLondonRule Im aware of that.

[Thekaiserwill]

@xeinkolt he has his own show its called tramadol nights

[gumbetgirl2010]

@Thekaiserwill in case you hadn't noticed, that message is from 8 months ago

[Takashijsi]

@xeinkolt Frankie Boyle needs his own country!! :)

[bertos333]

@xeinkolt hes got one

[SurpriseUnderTheKilt]

@bertos333 yeah but its shit

[bertos333]

@SurpriseUnderTheKilt He's still got one....

[Shaunbadia195]

@xeinkolt He did.......Frankie Boyle's Tramadol nights.

[farizzal]

lol frankie boyle is acting super ignorant here

[Drjimbillybob]

The women are never funny on this, they only get sympathy laughs or applause as we all sit there cringing (jo brand was an exception)

[TheLunaFace]

they might find out some intresting things but i dont give a fuck! perfect yes what we all thought

[boulder237]

There's more space on scenes we'd like to seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[drinkinglots99]

i would add i don't give a fuck! just brilliant

[Groudie101]

"I'm sure they're gonna find out some interesting things about protons,but I would add,I don't give a f*ck"

[sgogins]

Hahaha- i though of a good joke for the black hole (TIny version that grows slowly)

"Tim"

"What?"

Check this out!!!!"

*Knob inserted into black hole*

"Aww yeah, just like the real thing"

[SpartanXLVIII]

@sgogins I don't get it...

[Drjimbillybob]

@sgogins And thats why your not on the show :P

[hamlet223]

FRANKIE FOR PM!

[jakempenney]

or to give it its proper name, the black hole machine hahaha frankie is a ledge! :D

[GarryMc67]

"I'm sure they're going to find out some interesting things about protons, but I would add, I don't give a fuck."

[EggFriedSpam]

A machine that could create a black hole that will end the universe.

...

...

...

...

...

...

HAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!

[storminghome]

Im sure they will find some interesting things about protons, but i will add, i don't give a fuck haha

[MoranLover]

"There's more space on Scenes We'd Like To Seeeeeeee...." *Russell blows away" Haha! xD.

[cheriaday]

frankie boyle is the best

[XXILOVEJLSXX]

lol epic i love russell :)

[bob11111111112]

The Jaws of Infinity, classic

[ryanlfc1986]

Haha can i add "i don't give a fuck"

[TheRealEmilyF55]

Lol the black hole machine :D

[JeAmourTo]

Russel: WHY AM I THE FIRST TO GO

Dara: We tilted it on purpose so you r closer to Switzerland!

Russel: This is Bull S**t now!

Hugh: No ones gonna de!

Russel: HE JUST TOLD ME I'M GONNA DIE ON TELLY!

Dara: I hope we have the camera rolling on that! Just clinging on to the desk

while we hammer out his fingers "go with proudly, no Russel!

Russel: And you de be like theres now more space on scenes we'd like to seeee

[him050]

I love how everyone was worrying the day it got switched on. It takes like 3 months for the particles to get up to speed :-P. They did a couple of weeks ago, and hey presto! No black hole :-D.

[5H4K490]

@him050 easy to laugh now since its happened and we know were okay but osme people get hysterical i didnt have a clue about it till after it happened so laughing was my first reaction

[billybooooboooo]

Franky for pm !!!!

[Tsugo582]

Ahaha,

Jaws of infinity!

ahaha that was realy funny.

[mrhappyfists2k10]

Was this episode 1 of series 5?

[Albear20]

pause at 0:03 and look at dahra's face

[leonski35]

Gucci gucho underneath pls let it go ! i suggest you do some research on the LHC before you make silly assumptions which are tied in somehow to a stone in georgia ! not everything is a conspiracy you know ?

[guccigucco]

Does this experiment have anything to do with the Georgia Guidstones (Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature) will this experiment make it possible ???

[LTGeraldo]

if frankie becomes pm he will be saved from bad comedy but be doomed into eternal swearing

[nutshell88]

whos the girl?

[haChristy]

@nutshell88 Lauren Laverne i think

[Vortex42]

Lauren - Lovely Lauren!

[huntmatuk]

This is Frankie, Dara and Russell at their best. Pure pure brilliance.

[goth9ever]

FRANKY FOR PM, he shall beat that grunmpy boreing old fart by straight shoots, he has my vote lol