schoolyard bullies and the women who love them. sike.

[cls5569]

…all of this, and can be immensely helpful!

P.S. No, this is not self-serving - I'm not a therapist! I'm a lesbian who has had a lot of personal experience with this, that's all - plus I want to prevent others from experiencing all or at least some of the pain I have had in my life… if I can… so maybe it is self serving…

[cls5569]

Those of us that are closest to them frequently find ourselves (among other things) very challenged, frustrated, angry, very confused, unsure of ourselves, feeling devalued (especially because BPD frequently occurs with Narcissism!), and depressed, even to the point of thoughts of suicide. If you are in such a relationship, or are feeling this way no matter who or what your relationships are like, please, please, please, gets yourself to a good therapist right away. S/he can help you navigate a

[cls5569]

…or "normal") part of their world. It can be very difficult for those closest to them, especially children and partners. People who are soooo incredibly and inappropriately oversensitive, who regularly experience huge emotional upset over things that most of us wouldn't even give a second thought to, most likely have what is called Borderline Personality Disorder, a very serious Personality Disorder.

[cls5569]

Just some insight that may be helpful with some of the experiences I've seen on here that people are having:

Probably all or at least most of us have our irritable and irrational moments, where our reaction is out of proportion to the event, and we can still be considered "normal" or "healthy", because this happens extremely rarely, and usually with some other understandable reason behind it. However, there are people for whom this kind of "flipping out" as I call it, it an almost everyday (or

[allyjoYAknow]

I am definitely a smart-ass as well. And, I laugh off situations just like you did. Though it has definitely gotten me into bigger situations and into trouble some. Oops... :)

[OutLesbian]

You are So Fricken Awesome..

[petluv214]

Thank you for sharing Jess.

[MistylynnAurora]

I went outside to tell V that I was leaving and to make sure she was going to get home safe. Before i could even finish talking the Bitchy girl decided she wanted to be the boss and tell me what to do and that I needed to leave.. not even sure what I did to get on her bad side. Woman!! ugh

[MistylynnAurora]

Ha.

About 2 weeks ago, I went to a club with my friend V. She got extremely drunk and I was there taking care of her. About an hour later, her and I stepped outside because she needed some air. This girl and 3 other girls come outside and tell me to go inside so they can all talk. One girl whom I have never even met, was bitchy and just completely rude. I went inside, had a drink, and decided it was time for me to go.

[RoamingD]

I was at a club about a week ago, and a girl announced it was her birthday during a drag show. I saw her on the dance floor later, and lots of people were telling her happy birthday. I told her happy birthday also and her girlfriend was in my face in the snap of a finger. I was drunk so I was just like "woooooooo chill out yo". haha

[LMMariah]

Lastly, Jess, Mother Teresa would've done the same thing in that situation -Walk away -Pull the person with the issue aside and try to find mutual understanding

- When person continues to be a jerk she'd laugh! ha.

Can't reason with everyone =/

[LMMariah]

@ Jenna08848 We don't always approach situations with the best approach. We'd all be mad people to think that everyone has only one side to them. It's who we are... We're walking imperfections :)

I'm sure your lover or family and friends still love you and all your other sides. Besides, life would be boring if we all were perfect.

[LMMariah]

@ tripnslide, "lesbian testosterone" funny :)

[BDFields21]

In high school, I wasn't exactly a bully but I was overly protective of my best friend whom I suppose I might have had a crush on( I was not out then, even if people picked on me and called me "the lesbian")... she was totally straight and every time we went out and guys I didn't approve of looked at her or hit on her I was automaticaly her "body guard" or I acted like she was my gf.. Now, looking back I was stupid. Glad I grew up and have a wonderful partner! No being crazy! :-p

[1234now1]

Thinking back when I first turned 21 I beat the shit out of this guy at the bar for being physical with my girlfriend. It was stupid immature and felt necessary at the time. Usually when someone pops off like that is has more to do with them than you, maybe that “kid” was having the worst fucken day ever. idk if hindsight was foresight we would all do a few things different. An eye for an eye and we are all blind passivism is the way!! it took years for that realization

[t1n86]

i consider myself a comic bully. i stereotype alot (since i grew up with bad influences). but most of the time when i say stupid stereotypical things to others or about myself, i'm just looking for a laugh. that's all. people read too much into it. they need to lighten up.

[SamBamKablaam]

OH my god, I accidentally offended someone once and when I tried to apologize I was told I was being "condescending" and I was like HOW DO I DO THIS? lol. It's so frustrating when someone just wants a fight no matter what. It's especially stupid do do that in front of someone you have a crush on. It's a huge turnoff.

[Aliafly91]

I totally know someone like this... when ever we go out it's always a ticking time bomb for when she is going to freak out on some one for no reason. There are periods of time where we don't even hang out with her because we need a break, and it seems to be worse towards men, because she has something to prove ALL THE TIME. She really is a good person and we've been friends since high school but some times I just can't take it. "wait whats up bro??" gah! give it a rest!!!

[TripnSlide]

That's what I call the lesbian testosterone. Very -in-your-face manner, totally unnecessary. It's a great mix of pms and fiesty-testosterone filled blood. It's the lezzie form of temper tantrum being thrown. I see it all the time and it's everywhere. It's like there's a need for some girls to take up space and show their mane, as if they're making up for their lack of masculinity (most that i've seen are more on the butch side on the spectrum)

If you dont like it, walk away and don't react.

[salsera68]

Most of the female machisma I've dealt with has come from cholas. Machismo is an aspect of men or women I will never understand, because it just a giant indicator of insecurity.

[hebanano]

I'm pretty much a smartass all the time .. you either get along with it or GTFO of my life .... No need 4 Drama

[LesbianWithAPurpose]

I have certainly been in similar situations, I also don't understand violence or people who resort to it, so I also tend to laugh at their ridiculousness, and again you are right, laughter seems to only exacerbate the situation. Sorry I can not provide any further insight but I don't understand why either : / love ya Jess!

[Koolyo7]

The most ridiculous bullying I have encountered was from a rugby teammate (women's adult team) who happens to also be a 4th or 6th grade teacher. You would think she would know better. I don't care how much of a vet she is to the team she has pushed away a ton of prospective players because of her crazyness. There is a difference between rookie hazing and her bullying attitude. She can't see it.

[Jenna08848]

I was not aware of this side of you. I'm not sure I like it. I avoid drama and those that want to impose theirs on me. Life is to short for room in my head for Assholes.

[abstractjem]

I pretty much do the same thing Jess!:o} When I get that feeling that someone's just really hatin on me for some unknown bullshitty reason. At first I always try to say funny stuff to calm them down,but when that doesn't work I usually just ignore them,and stay away from them. It's just such a fuckin waste of time & energy to try to please people like that lol

[catsinwindow]

Hug it out...or punt the bitch. Ha! Just kidding. People, especially with a few drinks in them, say and do ridiculous things. C'est la vie....get over it and love them anyway, even if they can't reciprocate. Life is too short. Peace out.

[simplayaj]

I asked this one girl if she liked lady gaga and she threw a chair at me O_O Irrational much.

[ahsnaps]

i would have laughed too.

[poetrytolive]

I notice the same behavior at my school. Its all ego. Reacting like that to someone "hurting your feelings", its all ego bc everyone gets their feelings hurt a little bit sometimes but you know that your hurt feelings arent a big deal. Ppl go off cuz you bumped them but there's 2,000 kids in the hall, everyone gets bumped into. Even friends of mine, if you say the smallest thing its like they forget they ever knew you and go off. It reminds me of trashy reality tv and I loose respect for them.

[ksk8k8]

.... unfortunately i have scars to prove it, since i started highschool last year things are much better for everything i was bullied less and i stopped hurting myself (thank god). but then when people in my class found out that my bestfriend and i are bisexual, they make things up that we date etc. just to piss them off we fake some things but never too far. But now that i have her by my side i know that we can get threw anything... BFF xD (2/2)

[ksk8k8]

when i was 11 i was bullied for absolute no reason (or atleast idk what happened to cause this) i was pushed into a stack of metal chairs, and this girl hated me, an year later she was nice to me and i believe she tryed to flirt with me, then she moved, then from then to the last day of middle school i was told that i was worthless and i beleived them so i would put on this brave face until i was alone. i broke down every time i was alone... (1/2)

[Mandama004]

Are you still doing the guest spot Sundays?

[12345all]

Those that revert to fighting, rely heavily on spell checker - knowledge is power that overcomes any need for violence

[urgurltoken517]

i swear we have the same mind-set lol. i also feel that violence is dumb and i also laugh and walk away when some idiot is up in my face going off for some ridiculous reason. it's like you can stand and there and go off by yourself and look like a dumb ass because honestly i didn't come here for this :)

[Ingiess1]

I'm assuming the ex is Mary? So glad she is not in Switzerland right now!

Yes,, Where is Gandhi when you need him!

"Non violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind.

It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man.” - Mahatma Gandhi

[BellevueHost]

This looks like a tense video for a personal purpose (revenge)....am a fun but don't like the tone.

[beaverbunch]

@sickrose ha... "kid" is just a nickname i use for people... i wasn't trying to be rude. and the comment i made to her wasn't really "smart-ass", she just took it as such.

[02jnice]

yeah you sound a bit condescending dude!! 

[beaverbunch]

@02jnice i will absolutely admit to my condescension. it's a defense mechanism.

[02jnice]

@beaverbunch I do the same atleast you admit it.. Love your vids "kid" haha!

[itsnotforyou26]

your eyes are extremely destracting lol

but i liked your vidoe today! Have a nice week Jess.

Love, J.M

[qbambina06]

such a great topic!!



[michiluvsreptar]

I think it's funny. I have never delt with "female machismo" cuz there is none between my group if friends or the new people we meet. Thank god I don't deal with that :)

[mandijo316]

I think some people turn to violence out of frustration because they lack the ability to verbalize their feelings. In their small minds fear equals respect.

[DAVETYIOP]

Bullying never gets anyone anywhere in their lives! It just ruins it for the bully and the victims! It must be stopped altogether right now!

[honestlyiamsmiling]

I have two friends who are the bullies. One acts like she's tough shit in bars and has even beaten guys up before, and has all these stories of talking shit to girls and them getting scared. My other friend is all talk and thinks the entire college campus is afraid of her, when really everyone just thinks she's ridiculous and full of hot air. She's always talking shit and begging people to fight her.

[vamoz]

i think that people who use violence are taking everything too serious. they really don't know how to handle situations and they don't even know how to handle themselves. they don't know how to use their language and yes... they are pretty dumb. stupid is who stupid does. violence is no solution for nothing... but many people need it to feel stronger. it's sad. and they really get pissed off when you start laughing just for showing them that their behavior is pretty needless.

[gingerbugthelover]

This is something I still seem to deal with frequently among my peers. Maybe it's because we're still a few years out of high school; maybe there's just something in the water here in Texas? I don't know. Anyway, Jess, you're handling it the best way you can. You have to laugh it off. Sometimes you can educate those being aggressive, and others you can't. Since you couldn't, and most of the time these people thrive on conflict and drama, walking away was the best solution.

[twinklewonderkid91]

My course at university is mostly comprised of female students. We have lots of debates and discussions. Usually when two people disagree with each other it's not a problem because most people think its an advantage to understand all the points of view. However some times some girls just seem to turn into raging bitches who dismiss everything you say just because they have a different opinion. In my experience, female ego has a lot to do with proving you're right.

[Nephilim08]

Its funny that this is the topic this week because not too long ago a friend of mine who coincidentally is also named Jess was hit on the head and given a concussion by a beer bottle that was flung off of the second story of one of our favorite clubs. The bottle was thrown by a former friend who was upset because we happen to be there with her ex. Yup its like right out of a trashy reality show. All I gotta say is there are some crazy lesbians out there giving the rest of us a bad name.

[TheJacksonleonard]

I think there are a lot angry lesbians out there.

[myotherself09]

I agree. Be nice. It's THAT simple. Some people just don't even try to get it...

[thecauch69]

Iv been on both sides of bullying. I was bullied most of my primary (elementary?) years and just decided i guess that high school wasnt going to be the same and turned into the bully. The things i did are just horrible to think about.. When i finally matured and realized what an absolute asshole id been i apologized to every single one of my victims. My actions may have caused somebody to think about taking there own life and for that 1000 apologies will never be enough. Thanks for a great vid.

[thecauch69]

can you please say smartass again...... :)

[frigiggle]

how old is this person you keep referring to as "kid" :P

[JayNice3]

Great Video!!!

[crazylifelover101]

I literally count down until Mondays just for you. You give my week an amazing start :D Thank you :D

[crazylifelover101]

To answer your question: I was the bully once. I bullied this girl one time when I was in like middle school. I actually pushed her into a wall (I was mean). A little while afterwards, I apologized. Well we soon became friends and eventually started dating in high school. It was crazy how I went from a Bully to being bullied. But we stood by each other through it all and being the only openly gay people in the school (at the time), we were like a wall. We now both actively oppose bullying. :)

[kyler0relik]

you still look 17, does that ever bother you? I mean it is a good thing but I think being carded ALL THE TIME would be so annoying

[homochondriac]

bitches be crazy. you're too cool to be bothered by them.

[beneathmysurface]

jess: lover not the fighter

<3 I have all the respect in the world for you.

But for me on the other hand, it is hard to walk away.

[renewong32]

first?