Added: 2 years ago
From: jimgaffigancomic
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  • 'going to hell in 2 religions' hahahahah lolololol

  • theres too much standing involved in church cant i lie down and worship? hahahahaha

  • 1:44

    Never knew Jim was a Final Fantasy fan.

  • 0:07 he-he better not...

  • Who is this?

    THE DEVIL

    I laughed so hard my mom thought I was choking!

  • Hey, can we stop by Orange Julius?

    That place isn't even open anymore!

  • I thought he was a Christian comic. So NOT!

  • You can suck all the dick and still be a virgin Merry. 

  • hahhahaha I used to go to the catholic church, he is SO right! HAHAHAH

    "Who's this?"

    "THE DEVIL." HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA . I died laughing at that!

  • 1:23 funny shit :D

  • @raiesdbywolves sorry, 1:19

  • i am offended on so many different levels

  • @brtjohnson Good. Glad to hear it.

  • I think we're all ready for a new stand up special.

  • A comment speculating on what may be wrong with the people who disliked this video, followed by a quote from the video we all just watched

  • Why does this one have so many more views than the others...

  • I remember watching this stand-up on Comedy Central. Still awesome. Still hilarious.

  • did i go to Wendy's twice yesterday?

  • @TheAustenAusten Wendy's actually had this question on their facebook a month ago and like every other person commenting on it mentioned gaffigan

  • @toolff83 LOL!!! 8D

  • @TheAustenAusten Whoa. According the video so did Jim! It's ALMOST as if you quoted from the video itself!

  • he's going to hell in 2 religions, he's practicly sprinting there!!!

  • @UpsetRogue You're going to experience pain from two things for quoting from the video. My foot in your ass. You're practically sprinting there.

  • This clip goes great with the the other clip where Gaffigan argues with a redneck about religion on the radio.

  • only eat fish on fridays!!........unless you forget!!!

  • One of my favorite jokes from this routine is "Can you cure our son's blindness? and we would love some shelves right here. Of course we would love for our son to be able to see those shelves" classic Gaffigan

  • is the ''chronologicaly accurate'' joke from daniel tosh or him ? 7:20

  • @SuddenCry Jim was here way before tosh.

  • This man is a Genius!

  • @Mage13246

    So if I tell you you're an idiot your response will be "I kindly disagree"?

  • lol

  • I'm a non-believer but personally, I think preaching that there is no God is as bad as preaching that there is one. I have my views and I keep them to myself. Why do I care what others think? Granted, I never had an atheist come to my door and try and convince me that his views were correct and that I should adopt them but I have had mormons, jehovahs and evangelicals to my door. But it irritates me that atheist groups are now trying to hang billboards and stuff...that's preaching.

  • @toolff83 I appreciate and respect your opinion but 1 this is just comedy ya'know? 2 preaching there is no god doesnt inspire hatred toward jews and homosexuals, doesnt state humans are incapable of morality or compassion, or state that you should live your life from sex to diet based on the preachers belief and 3 Most of the billboards and signs ive have seen stem from government favoring one religion,or all religions, over atheism

  • dude, indians cant eat BEEF not MEAT, BEEF.

  • If Moses was there he would be doubled over with laughter.

  • Great sketch, real funny, but people who believe in Heaven are ignorant.

  • People take this stuff wayyyyy too seriously... It's just a comedy sketch, not a brunt against religion. And guess what everybody, God loves all of us, INCLUDING Jim Gaffigan despite his jokes! Oye... :P

  • @TheKaykiwi

    Meh I don't mean to take it seriously. It's just some of the things that some of these people leave on the comments really irritates me. I don't mean to sound hypocritical, but I just want to enjoy some comedy, and not get involved in a back and forth argument with an athiest. It gets ugly, and plus I don't really care anymore, I wanna have a laugh.

  • @twizzlers231 Hey man, I hate grammer, too.

  • You Bible nuts need to relax, or die in another Waco. I prefer the latter.

  • Peter has good taste in comedy!

  • Yeah I lied I double parked. Can we wrap this up, I'm meeting a hooker. LOL

  • Funnest man alive lol

  • I was uncomfortable clicking this, just because I wasn't sure what it could possibly be about (besides the obvious)...now I have a horrible conscience...

  • Moses, I've been burning some bush to. V__V

  • ......"they wouldn't say agua..."

  • lolol awesome show . 

  • Stupid Jesus freaks always tryin to Shit on someones parade, god is a myth, nothing more

  • @archbishop09 oh come on, don't be that guy, were just having some fun here.

  • @archbishop09 will be surprised when he stands in front of Almighty God and tries to explain this. Can you explain why all over the world only God and the name of Jesus Christ are taken in vain. Why not Buddah? Explain...

  • @chrishixx Well it's a bit hard to blaspheme the name of a person who never claimed to be divine. But if it makes you feel better, I've worked with several fundamentalist christians that insulted the buddha and buddhism.

  • @archbishop09 I hate jesus freaks id like to beat the shit out of them!

  • 1:42 ahahahahah peeing myself

  • best part at 1:20 lmfao

  • Comment removed

  • Saw him @ East Village Comedy Club in NYC...he's super funny!

  • i love this man (no homo)

  • how does he do "The Devil" voice? lol i lmfao at that!

  • @UTGTYPE96sniper He has a great range! he has to femine voice, his annoyed audience member voice, his Brooklyn accent, his Boston accent, his Devil voice, and on and on. Gaffigan cant be underestimated!

  • Seriously, calm down a bit. Not one of you can know for sure whether God exists or not and whether Heaven and Hell exist or not. Nobody (excluding Jesus, he's an uncertain case) has returned from death to tell us whether those things exist. So basically, it's pointless to argue which is correct, atheism or Christianity. They both can be wrong, and that's an option too. Personally, I don't follow Christianity, but I don't say whether God exists or not.

  • If you don't want to go to heaven than you can go right ahead And take yourself to hell buddy ain't no one stoping you

  • 241 people argued about being religious or not religious instead of watching the video

  • I am a very religious person... this stuff is freakin Gold!

  • LETS WRAP IT UP!!!.. I got some sitting to do!

  • I bet some of those 240 liked this during mass.

  • @ecdcheergurl96 *disliked haha sorry :) 

  • Oh come on, I'm christian and I'm amture enough to take a joke about my beliefs. Plus I know Jesus is much more mature than me so I think he can take a joke too.

  • Comedians are good until they make fun of JESUS and the christian religion. This guy can make fun all he wants until the day of judgment. I truly feel sorry for him.

  • @ViKiLoVeScHoCoLaTe i feel sorry that you were born without a sense of humor and for believing in an imaginary ghost called "God" that is vengeful, spiteful, savage and oppressive towards his own creations. If this judgement you believe in existed, and this idea of heaven and hell, I hope I'm sent to hell with Gaffigan because hell will have much better comedians than heaven, the party will be downstairs!

  • @toolff83 "Dear friends do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering as though something strange were happening to you but rejoice that you may participate in the sufferings of Christ so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed" Jesus suffered on the cross for us so why not do all we can for Him?? God created us so he can do whatever he wants. Would you die on a cross for someone and not expect anything back? I DONT THINK SO.

  • @ViKiLoVeScHoCoLaTe Wow you actually removed my comment? The one about keeping your sorry to yourself? Some gut you got there!! And i know your not talking bout my God because my God is Awesome and does not degrade his people. Why do you think technology is rising? And if u don't know God personally than keep your mouth shut please. Once you meet him and experience his mercy then you may say whatever you please.

  • @ViKiLoVeScHoCoLaTe who are you talking to?

  • @toolff83 YOU! Don't try to act "smart"!

  • @toolff83 So keep your sorry to yourself sir. You can use it on judgement day. You'll need it. Thank you very much. God Bless You. Jesus Loves You Unconditionally. (and i am VERY happy that i was born into a christian family that taught me who and what to live for unlike atheists who just LIVE with no purpose at all) (p.s there a MILLIONS of other ways to be humorous without hating on God; Dane Cook, Angela Johnson, and many more :)

  • Comment removed

  • @ViKiLoVeScHoCoLaTe How does your type function in modern society? It's baffling.

  • @PonDeWorld We function perfectly thanks for asking by the way. With God everything functions normally so no worries. But the question is how do you function sir?

  • @ViKiLoVeScHoCoLaTe My vagina serves me well, that's for sure. What about the way I speak makes you assume I'm a man?

  • Comment removed

  • @toolff83 Exactly. Heaven is going to be filled with people I hate! Why would I want to go there!

  • God Pocket

  • "This guy's going to hell in two religions. He's practically sprinting there."

  • His Pale Force cartoons with Conan are hilarious as well.

  • Jim Gaffigan is wicked awesome!

  • "I always have that introspective look on my face like -mphm- but on the inside im like 'Did i go to wendys twice yesterday?" LOL IM PISSING MYSELF

  • Okay, I'm never gonna get that "extra piece" joke. I'm apparently a moron. :D

  • @MessengerOfDreams It doesn't really mean anything, it's an attempt at a stupid pickup line haha!

  • "I do want everyone to feel comfortable, that's why I'd like to talk to you about Jesus."

    One of the single best quotes I've ever heard. Why couldn't I have come up with that?

  • @MessengerOfDreams

    He better not....

  • "He did a Jesus joke and he was electricuted. It was the best show I've ever seen."

  • @The208Cook And it helped my faith.

  • Oh Jim.

  • doesn't he sound like jack black sometimes?

  • "Are you saying meow?"

  • Friggin hilarious!

  • I'm a Catholic and I LOVE this guy!!! Funny stuff! :0)

  • @haiiix3 lol well hes been around way longer then him and he can be really funny without being totally racist or using vulgarity...

  • @SquaidsIHave Vulgarity is common amongst comedians, and people who can't handle it should simply watch spongebob or some other kidfriendly show:))

  • @haiiix3 ... Troll.

  • Easy freak

  • Meh, leave the judgement at the door and just enjoy this one. "Oh you already know about it" LOL

  • Catholic mass really is the most boring congregation I've ever attended. After a year or so, you've completely memorized what the preist is going to say. It can be memorized because the ceremony is the exact same. The songs, the sayings, the rituals... It seems more for show than anything else.

  • 5:00 hahahahahhahaa omg

  • Comment removed

  • I have a feeling that the comments below this one deal with some sort of religious debate of some kind. Call it a hunch. Relax and calm down. This is hilarious.

  • I would kill to be able to do that breathy voice he does at 6:38..

  • His religion jokes on King Baby are just as hilarious. I love how he talks about his wife dragging him to mass and when its over she's like "Let's stay another hour and talk to the weirdest people here!" lol so true

  • The best part is how he imitates what an audience member might say.

  • Great now I want GOD POCKET! XD

  • Comment removed

  • god pocket :D

  • 1:12 xDDD

  • Moses maybe you been burning some bush

  • lmao @ wendy's twice in one day

  • "He's practically sprinting there." Hilarious!

  • Gaffigan is the man! This is brilliant.

  • "I'm the Son o' God" he sounds like Larry the Cable Guy

  • Definitely the funniest clean comedian out there.

  • @clouren1 when you are as talented and hilarious as Gaffigan you don't need to curse or be raunchy to make up for lame jokes.

  • Funny guy I met him while he was film king baby in austin.

  • lmfao... i'm catholic it's hilarious...

  • I like how after he says,"and an extra piece for you" the camera focuses on this hot chick.

  • just so we're clear: atheists are not better than everybody else. Even Dawkins, whom I respect, acts like such an arrogant ass. You have your beliefs. Religious people have theirs.

  • Man I gotta see Gaffigan live next time he rolls through town.

  • i'm an atheist. you dont see me bragging about it. stfu christians. its not like not being offended makes you special

  • @MrDgaf12345 win... so win... so very very win..

  • @MrDgaf12345 How do you know someone is a Atheist? They will tell you it. Would think atheism is a religion, when so many people feel important to show how they are right and others are wrong.

  • @MrDgaf12345 Wow, someone is full of hate. Just remember if you're atheist that you can't use the term "oh my god" since you don't believe, lol.

  • @motti15 full of hate? no, i'm just a more rational person than you and it's very easy to debunk the bible. your religion is essentially based on nothing, you know

  • @MrDgaf12345 It's because you don't believe is why you think it's not real. Maybe it's the only reason why it's the biggest religion in the world. I feel sad for you that you honestly believe there is nothing afterwards, but good luck in thinking you were just randomly created out of nothing and that "science" proves everything. Science can only prove so much, and there are things that happen in life that can't be explained. Good luck to you.

  • @motti15

    Actually if I am correct, he is an athiest, but does not abide by the term. He claims to not believe in G-d, but he fights against him. He does believe in G-d, he just chooses not to follow the path of G-d. Dgaf12 also believes that those who believe in G-d are inferior to those who hold an intellectual thought: "You're too stupid to know what if best for you, or what is right."

    To understand the athiest mind is to have been one yourself, or to have been friends with one.

  • @motti15

    @motti15

    Actually if I am correct, he is an athiest, but does not abide by the term. He claims to not believe in G-d, but he fights against him. He does believe in G-d, he just chooses not to follow the path of G-d. Dgaf12 also believes that those who believe in G-d are inferior to those who hold an intellectual thought: "You're too stupid to know what if best for you, or what is right."

    To understand an athiest, you need to know the theory of athiesm, and its practice.

  • @Mage13246 wow athiesm is nothing why people makin that sound like a religion all it means is we dont belive in god because we know why the earth is round and the sky is blue gods just a bigger version of santa think about it if ur bad u goto hell if ur bad u get nothing for chrsitmas its just a way to control people

  • @twizzlers231

    I didn't say it was. I am not athiest I am just saying athiests tend fight against what they don't believe in. If they don't believe in it why do they fight it? I laugh at the fact that you thought I was athiest. I just made a contradiction about how they think, and how they practice.

  • @twizzlers231

    Oh...and I didn't think before typing...you are an athiest. For second there you sounded religious. You keep claiming to not believe in religion, and think it's a way to control us, why do you keep fighting against it. Obviously you believe in it. If you don't like it, leave us the hell alone ok?

  • @twizzlers231

    Oh and thanks for giving me more material than I need: You obviously believe in zero morals. So...if you did something bad you don't believe that there should be a punishment? If you're good you think it doesn't matter? Being good or bad isn't a determination of whether you go to heaven, or hell. Being good is to give you the feeling that you did something nice for people. Being bad is to take away the good things from others and make them miserable just as you are.

  • @twizzlers231

    What determines whether or not you go to heaven or hell is if you followed the laws of G-d, and tried to make amends for your sins (whatever they may be), and did you try your best to do good. Being good and doing good are somewhat different things. Doing good means, that you see someone who is poor or homeless, and you give them some food, water, clothing, maybe a little bit of change, you don't do it because you're a good or bad person, you do it because it (Cont)

  • @twizzlers231

    It is a good thing, or something that you thought was the right thing to do at that time. Knowing that you do bad is a good indicator that "ok I am making others miserable and I will probably suffer some kind of punishment for my actions." If you don't believe that you should be punished, then you're one seriously damaged person.

  • @Mage13246 wow ur a fuckin joke guy just because i dont belive in god doesnt mean i dont belive in good in bad im not ganna go kick a fuckin kid in the teeth u need help im only sayin shiit because im watchin a comidian and ur ass watch talkin so much shit ur fuckin stupid u left like 100 things and none of it makes sence at all u need a helmet fuck no wounder u goto church u seem more fuckin normal there eh

  • @twizzlers231

    Ok why don't you believe in G-d if you believe in good and bad? Obviously there is some moral in your life if you believe what you are saying.

  • @Mage13246 did u just ask that? so if i dont belive in god that means i dont no whats good and bad? ur fuckin dumb i dont belive in god because i can use my own head god a reason to explain shit over 2000years ago just like apollo and zues but people wantd to control other people even more so they came up with ur bibble just because i dont belive in god doesnt mean i dont hae any morals like ur to stupid to live look your question over again like did u ask urself it befor u said it?

  • @twizzlers231 Please learn the English language. It is hard to read your comments when every two words are misspelled.

  • @Mage13246 i dont need god to tell me kickin a kid in the face in wrong like ur fucked guy

  • @twizzlers231

    nice "moral" response. If you had any decency (as you athiests say you have) would kindly disagree with your opponenet instead of saying "you're fucked" and your grammar needs work too.

  • @MrDgaf12345 You must be stupid. I bet you are one of those fools that think stuff just happens, and creation is just chemicals coming together randomly.

  • @Wohali1 physics can sure be difficult to understand if you're retarded. magic sky daddy easier, eh?

  • @MrDgaf12345

    As I read about the term athiest I believe that the term in of itself refers to a person who doesn't believe in religion or G-d. You're fighting against something you claim not to be real, I guess you contradict yourself in a sense that you believe in it, you just disagree with it. So you're not fighting it, you are acknowledging people believe in these things, and you are succumb to the fact that you think that they are inferior.

  • @Mage13246 why dont you suck my balls?

  • @Mage13246 Respect people's opinions, religion isn't everything. Some people believe in god and some don't.

  • @Wolfsongification Uhm... you have the right to your opinion. I have the right to tell you it's wrong.

  • @richig761 Ummm, you have the right to say you *believe* it's wrong.

    That's why they're called "opinions". And "beliefs".

    ^_^

  • @e2k42 I have THE RIGHT... to tell you whatever I please about your opinion. That's one of the great things about having freedom of speech. You get to spout off your dumbass opinion, and I get to come right back shoving my dumbass opinion down your throat. I have every right to attempt to change your opinion, as you have the right to walk away from the conversation.

  • @richig761 No, actually, you have the right to tell anyone whatever you please about your *own* opinion. You know jack about mine, or anyone else's you've never had an actual conversation with.

    You also have the right to take yourself a seriously as you like, just don't expect anyone else to.

    This is me walking away from what you call a conversation.

    Bye!

    ^_^

  • @e2k42 If you express your opinion to me (about anything), I absolutely have every right to tell you that its stupid. Tell me why I don't.

    "You also have the right to take yourself a seriously as you like, just don't expect anyone else to." SEE! Now you're getting the hang of it!

    "This is me walking away from what you call a conversation.

    Bye!"

    NOW YOU'RE REALLY GETTING IT! Glad I could get through to ya! BYE!

  • @MrDgaf12345 Don't worry dude....when you decompose, you will be feeding the creators little minions. I just hope you are the last of your kind.

  • @MrDgaf12345 hmm...the bible details that China will collapse

  • @MrDgaf12345 NO U.

  • I'm an atheist and I don't give a shit!

  • God poooockket

  • god pockeeeet

  • That was an amazing pope impersonation!!!

  • Yeah, Mary was raped by God and she refused to abort her illegitimate child. So we are stuck with the manger story, Too bad he wasn't brought to trial.

  • I like him and I think he us funny but that was not ok. You do not trash talk Jesus or God. So not ok. So not cool. He should be ashamed of himself trash talk the Lord like that.

  • @PrincessNicole101 Tell me, when you clicked on this video called 'Jesus', what exactly did you expect? He is a comedian. Don't watch it.

  • @PrincessNicole101 Lol, even Jesus has a sense of humor. Get over yourself.

  • @PrincessNicole101 I'd like for you to give an example from this 8 minute long video where he, as you put it, "trash talked" Jesus or God? Did he say anything foul about either of them? He said himself he is a Catholic. He is making very, VERY mild jokes about scenes from the Bible and he is in no way saying anything slanderous or crude about God or Jesus. Get that stick out of your ass.

  • 223 people are Germans

    

  • 223 people are contractors

  • ".... does anything make you more uncomfortable then some stranger coming up to sayin', "hey id like to talk to you about jesus" hey easy freak i keep work at work!'

    hahah

  • HELLarious.

  • @VerythOmega punny

  • only eat fish on FRIDAYS!.... unless u 4get.

  • @DEMY160 ahhh do whatever the hell you want lol

  • lmfao AWWWWWHUUUUUUH AWWWWHUUUUUUHHHHUHHHHHH