Patton Oswalt - Cheetos

[handsomebrick]

Cheetos are disgusting. Apples are the most delicious snack food.

[Floodlezoot]

@handsomebrick yes, and pommegranates. Let us celebrate with a frutie party.

[windmonkey95]

i'm eating cheetos while i watch this

[LowEndLem]

You know, you would think after replacing 2 laptop screens I would learn to stop drinking things while watching him.

[a89dc]

@LowEndLem Come on, he isn't THAT funny

[LowEndLem]

@a89dc He's funny, but to be fair, I also do a lot of damage to my screens before spewing cheetos and milk all over them.

[ALEXisSPANISH]

Curious, anyone know what Tim Roth movie that is being advertised behind Patton?

[richmonksgtr]

@ALEXisSPANISH I think it's "Tsunami (Aftermath)"

[nothingtoyouatall]

orange cheesy poo

[1988MouseMighty]

Pirates booty is awesome

[dreamingpixles]

The bit about finishing a bag of them at 2 in the morning nearly made me cry. I've seen...I've LIVED that hell...

[ohrwurm]

HEY DO YOU LIKE THE MAGNETIC FIELDS

--STINKING CLOUD--

[josh2k207]

now i want cheetoes 

[BrianWestley]

That's why Newton died a virgin; he loved his Cheetos.

[DancingSpiderman]

Patton, you're a Fuckin Genius !!

[flackattack88]

If I get a little snack machine size bag of Cheetos, I'll eat it. But, then If I have some giant Costco, Lutheran size bag of Cheetos, that I can crawl inside. I'll finish that fucking thing too!

[5DollarCarryover]

@flackattack88 by leaving out the word "picnic", you completely sucked the funny out of that joke. Good job ob that.

[whatseasier]

You can't eat both.

[BeethovenVEVO]

Fuck yeah.

Fuckin' Cheetos.



[theqman24]

LOL I can see the Pinkie Pie on Cheetos video while watching this

[edichkaa]

there are people out there that cover themselves with shit and piss to get a hard on,,,i think the Cheetos and pussy combination is solvable...

[therealAvatarBlues]

I'm getting me some Cheetos XD

[Squibfire]

Pussy & Cheetos: The Patton Oswalt Story, someone please write this book lol

[duomas]

So true and so funny =D

[Killerpiratekev]

orange claw of failure HAHAHAHAHAHA

[johnnameworks]

I was drinking a glass of water when he said "There's no pussy and cheetos" now have to clean up lol...

[Avoryne]

This picture makes him look like Davey Havok got fat.

[ebiljebus]

@kleiner352 You know, if you'd have said it were 2:54 in the morning, I could have clicked on it and heard "WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"

[DoubtfulGrace]

@kleiner352

You NEED some cheetos..! :D

[ExErebus]

"...you pull your orange claw of failure out of the bag."

[Wizarrdd]

It sounds retarded, but eat them with chopsticks and carry listerine pocket packs.

[jbrisby]

I must be smarter than Newton and Einstein then, because the secret is to not use your hands. Tip that bag, mofos!

[CoolerKing37]

My weakness is those Flamin' Hot Cheetos. They're so awful, yet so delicious...

[DancingSpiderman]

@CoolerKing37 I know what you mean... they are strongly chemically delicious... goes good with a 375ml swiggin' bottle of Southern Comfort

[MagicTurtleBoxTV]

A man loves him some Cheetos!

[weedjesus47]

"if your at a party and theres a really hot chick that you wanna hook up with and theres a bowl of cheetos...you have a decision to make" haha

[gcarlson]

orange claw of failure

[DancingSpiderman]

YOU GOT A DECISION TO MAKE.

[SuperWhofarted]

Pussy + Cheetos = ???

[Kinjamaimai]

@SuperWhofarted = Wrong.

[WalkingStory]

@SuperWhofarted = divided by zero

[napalmdeathfan13591]

LOL the closed caption option is so useless. It never comes close to being accurate.

[ThisLittleBlackBook]

all this is true. this is real guy shit.

[DejectedPanda]

I can relate to this bit all too well.

[fouchjustin19]

Cheeto's, The Alpha Snack Food XD

[SpamNapkin]

Patton has a kickass taste in music.

[brokenseatbelt]

" Costco, Lutheran picnic size bag of Cheetos. "  LMFAO!

[TheDalaiLayman]

Best Frito Lay commercial ever.

[DancingSpiderman]

1:14 As it turned out, Issac Newton died a virgin at the ripe old age of 84.

[DejectedPanda]

@DancingSpiderman Einstein got a ton of tight sliz though.

[DancingSpiderman]

@DejectedPanda i gree. Einstein's 2nd wife... WAS HIS COUSIN. Nice pudgy pussy with her; he liked to keep it "in the family". Fascinating figures: Einstein, Newton, Patton Oswalt.

[narutorun]

"If i open a bag of cheetos, ITS DEAD! itl never see the sun go down" hahahaha i cant stop laughing XD

[Grant691]

I wish I had this kind of creative vocabulary. Things like " an Enchanted forest of cockshafts and twat fumes, or "the orange claw of failure. Does this man sleep with a thesaurus or something?

[davidtres28]

@Grant691 He's naturally smart but the fact that he plays D&D helped with this vocal gymnastics.  He's amazing in his descriptions.

[Grant691]

There's no pussy in cheetos!

[reannamator]

Orange claw of failure. The man is genius.

[OzzyFan87]

Just the way he talks is funny as fuck.

[fuse511]

God loves Patton Oswalt!! ...yes God

[keepitganstadawg]

the only thing i like more than cheetos..

is hot cheetos!!

[GuitarRHCPfan]

"Lutheran sized cheetos" the best descriptive size for a bag of snack food ever...EVER!

[encliticcopula]

You can eat Cheetos without getting a failure claw. Use chopsticks. My friend in college showed me this. At the time I made fun of him for it, but in retrospect I realize the man was a visionary.

[ConnDevi88]

He looks like a cheeto in the first picture

[ghostbuster323]

Fuckin' Cheetos ugh

[SLAPnPOP726]

oh my god thats why he said his family crest would have a pair of eyes rolling off to the side, a bag of cheetos, and the word 'fuck' in My Weakness is Strong.

[AntiChristAntiFail]

That's it. I'm downloading the Princess Bride and buying a big bag of cheetos.

[psycold]

There's no pussy in cheeto's

Amen.

[marstons99]

Where have I been? This guy is friggin hysterical. And I only thought he played the dweeby friend on that sitcom. I have a new favorite stand-up comic.

[JuniorM78]

@marstons99 I was the same way. I stumbled upon him a few years ago and never looked back since. He and Louis C.K. are my 2 favorites.

[marstons99]

@JuniorM78 Yes, I agree, Louis CK is very funny.

[leroyspunkin]

Dude is a genius.

[Inferno41]

hhhhhhhhhhhey do you like the magnet fields?

[let88it88be]

"orange claw of failure"

[CyanideCornelo]

Cheetos - Because nothing beats that throbbing MSG headache, and the feeling of personal loathing you get when you finish, yet another bag of Cheetos.

[TzekeT]

WHAT HAVE I DOOOONNEEE? rofl

[Balmung6]

Ah, Patton, a pioneer in the science of dorkdom and all things dorky - a dorkologist, if you will. xD

[nightmareofsolomon]

@Balmung6 He's my hero

[JoeFox23]

You're not gonna be able to go like *OM NOM ARLGH AHM* "HEY DO YOU LIKE THE MAGNETIC FIELDS?"

[AuroraMammalia]

"...Because nothing matches that throbbing MSG-headache..."

haha...

[ssptg]

so true, potato chips and hot dogs seem to give msg headaches too

[PIZZACHICKENCHEESE2]

my friend fried cheetos

[Redsparrowe123]

Newton and Einstein DIED trying to solve that combination! couldn't be done...

[DejectedPanda]

As someone who once ate a family size bag of cheetos in one day, I can really relate to this.

[icanreadncount]

Costco Lutheran picnic size! Oh man, he's almost too funny.

[cromwellian13]

"Hey, do you like The Magnetic Fields?"

I'm crying from laughing!

[Alldayeveryday404]

@cromwellian13 what are the magnetic fields lol?

[cromwellian13]

@Alldayeveryday404 A very good band.

[leroyspunkin]

Holy Krist that is awesome.

[willissippi]

haha orange claw of failure

[DoubtfulGrace]

My freaking god.... This man can make anything absolutley hilarious! Especially for me, its just so easy to die laughing from Patton overdose.

[myroncope]

Yeah there's no choice between cheetos and a non-famous Patton Oswalt. Good for him for getting famous and able to meet women

[ConnDevi88]

Can you make a video when he talks about "The Christmas Shoes" ?

[kingofthelaugh]

smelly bridge trole

so true

[keggerous]

newton and einstein tryed to solve the pussy and cheedos problem hahahah omg hes fuckin hilarious!!

[Ebook94]

Haha orange claw of failure! Lmao!

[avalino79]

go wash my hands and brush my teeth...

PSYCH!!!! grrrrrr, you aint going no where!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[RocketBall300]

Hahaha "orange claw of failure."

Patton Oswalt is the fucking man.

[BananaHurricane]

Lol, indeed he is.

[torridsaber]

i wish they made the big bags of bar-b-q Frito's, the small ones are great but theres not aot there.

[GoblinXXX]

From your lips to God's ears, my friend!

[Kickasss119]

amen brother... a-fukin-men

[Aaronlm91]

I agree,but would like to see chili cheese kind in a big bag.

[jcastillo81]

I actually want to eat cheetohs right now!

[Shotgunnova]

Brilliant.

[xTheStance]

LOL!!!

[happykilojoule]

lol nothing matches that throbbing MSG headache

[BucaManTV]

costco lutheran picnic size lmao

[G0D666]

rofl "WHAT HAVE I DONE!!??"

[drumplayerbob]

What The Fuck

[werdoner]

soooo good!!!

[buzgunluk]

Bachman's Cheese Puffs, bitch. Lays ain't got shit.

[ChiccoAndGtv]

Hilarious... Only second to Black Angus

[Ironforce137]

lol this is true black angus skit is awesome then this

[bobuckdaddy]

orange claw of failure.

[lilbatz]

We really need a 12 step for this shit. Let the self loathing begin...if Patton subbed Nacho Cheese Doritos for Cheetos, I'm there. Hangs head in shame. Here is no chip clip used for Doritos, either.

[mistyred8]

"Claw of failure" lol

[BigNickontheDrum]

I hope I live to see the day of the "pussy and cheetos combination"

[GoblinXXX]

Tuna flavored Cheetos?

[MH5]

I'm like this with bricks of mild cheddar. Seeing someone else who does stuff like this really makes me disgusted with myself.

[GoblinXXX]

Bar-B-Q Fritos, baby!

[kingofthelaugh]

thank you Patton Oswalt for being who you are

[nypunkeer]

Thank you so much for posting this.  They were all down!

[rush1er]

" Orange Claw of Failure" LMAO!

[TomMSTie]

Cool Ranch Doritos fall under this category also.

"There's no pussy and Doritos!"