CHUCK NORRIS JOKES

[Xx5Jacob5xX]

If Chuck Norris was that great he would show up and slam my head in the keybor... grrygdyugiooughihuftujiuiihvoo­lkuyfsrgvbre

[Antnowiz11]

LOOK below your mums calling you stop ackig like a gangsta and get a job as a hippie

[Sonicfan9977]

Chuck Norris doesn't collect the Chaos Emeralds, the Chaos Emeralds come to Chuck Norris!

[159tony]

Chuck Norris is a 7 timed martial arts champion

[DalleDayul]

I used to like Chuck Norris, but I've learned that he is against gay marriage and condoning homosexuality in schools, so I now hate him.

[BarbecueBobFan]

Chuck Norris once caught AIDS.... AIDS died.

[rafaelg45]

Chuck Norris does need a computer he only uses an abacus...

[rafaelg45]

No woman sleeps with Chuck Norris because they get a roundhouse kick when he dreams!

[Picollo220]

Chuck Norris wears Bruce Lee pyjamas cus' he got his ass kicked by him

[TheNateJonas]

chucjk norris can laugh by watching it

[ch421249]

chuck norris CAN believe its not butter

[miniguy127]

chuck norris is the only one who can rip out a facebook page

[lezeus]

chuck norris still can download from megaupload

[DalleDayul]

Chuck Norris can make BBQ Ribs on Bear Grylls

[Jamz1996]

Chuck Norris was beat by Bruce Lee. That is all.

[xxHisxxDrugxx]

Chuck Norris is not real. If he was he'd be was real, He'd be slamming my head on the key bo l'dmdkf;fmjfjkes

[DalleDayul]

Chuck Norris Fus-Do Rah'd with a whisper

[Drewbag49]

Chuck norris was granted immortality from the dragon balls

[argyfarm]

CHUUUUCK NORRIS CHUUUUUCK NORRIS,YOU ARE SCARING ME MAN!!

[geatmers]

chuck norris dosent go to hell! hell goes to chuck norris!!

[LEON46051]

Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella to walk down the street when it rains, cos the rains fears falling down on Chuck Norris!!!

[CHEWBACAMAN25]

When Chuck Norris eats pussy he leaves n

[filoflin]

Chuck Norris digged to the Moon!

[10203040506054]

chuck norris has a six pack.. on his right nipple

[smoshloverr1101]

modern people are scared of scary movies,when scary movies are scared of chuck norris plz use this in a video plz

[MultiTatasky]

If chuck norris is that awesome why he hasn't killed Justin Bieber yet ?

[dontscrewtheworld]

@MultiTatasky because chuck norris's ears can only hear sounds that matter.

[MrBill3002]

chuck norris slapped in the face the unhead rider

[GODOFWAR1013]

@MrBill3002

???

[tomka777tomka777]

Who's Chuck Norris?:D

[ilikecheese115]

when chuck norris was born they called him there saviour jesus just happened to be there

[lovebuggie101]

36 ppl died from chuck norris

[benchoko2]

when you write chuck norris on paper and put it in fire, it doesn't burn

[ocarinakadaju]

When Chuck Norris broke his window, he really didn't break it, the window broke from fear

[TobaganGuy]

I'm sick and tired off all these Chuck Norris jokes, if he is such a bad ass lets see him come to my house right now and bash my face into the keybolkjfiuskfnkjhfduh

[tito1rocks]

@TobaganGuy steal mah joke huh?

[TheMorsoGaming]

@TobaganGuy lmaoooo 

[lazerblaze3000]

@TobaganGuy OH COME ON

I wanted to do that :,(

[2012lacruz]

@TobaganGuy Don't get me wrong. I admire Chuck Norris and consider him a living legend. I remember back in 2008 my Latin American roommate and fellow soldier was just saying all of these corney back-to-back Chuck Norris jokes. I was like dude for real?? Because they just weren't funny. I find more humor reading a page of newspaper comic strips of the Peanuts, Garfield, Zits, etc. in the comic strips then 100 Chuck Norris jokes - combined! Enough of the "Chuck Norris" jokes already.

[Mr92arnie]

chuck norris sucks blood from hannibal lecter......

[colebowl100]

chuck norris took an arrow to the kne but was is stillman adventurer

[DalleDayul]

@colebowl100 thats mine

[colebowl100]

@DalleDayul oh realy i forgot to check entire youtube after people who may have wrote the same thing as i was going to write.....

[ihatebieberr]

i hate chuck norris if hes so godly i dare him to come to my house and smash my face on the keyboahuyginmpgfm0ge%£^Q £ nepoiv4yi094509i

[quidproquo2004]

i feel asleep.

[TheLEGITClan105]

Chuck Norris Ordered A Big Mac At Burger King And Got One...

[LEON46051]

@TheLEGITClan105 THIS IS SO FUNNY AND STRONG!!! TITANIC WILL HAVE NO SENS THEN

[denzelwash1]

He couldnt get role on titanic, he would save them all

[Jason0461]

I dont think Chuck Norris is so badass i mean hes human GOD DAMMIT is he is so badass he could come to my house right now and bang my head on my kejgfhijgdfjkfhdjksufbjdbfvsdj­kafsdgfhdf

[DalleDayul]

People breathe air, air breathes Chuck Norris!

[Jasonwayne10]

Chuck Norris stared at Medusa and the bitch turned into stone.

[Jasonwayne10]

Chuck Norris had a Facebook account before Myspace came out.

[TheEXpothead]

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the fuck Chuck Norris is.

[dauwgxx]

There are no Chuck Norris jokes, only facts.

[homerun443]

35 people are now dead :(

[TheMintyClan]

Jesus can walk on water chuck norris can swim on land.

[ABritishGamer]

CHUCK NORRIS EATS RAINBOWS TO TASTE THE SKITTLES!

[MrUlkohuussi]

Jeez i got to buy warcraft

[sasutoguy]

CHUCK NORRIS CANT KILL ME



[2000Tobbe]

@sasutoguy no he cant, you kill yourself

[9sackboy]

Superman has a pair of Chuck Norris pagamas.

[skdukureh]

Chuck Norris isn't real..If he was real he would stand behind me and slam my head into the keyuhvrhfvdhhhhhfvhfbvhbdfakvk­fjaønfv...

[apfelstrudlOfOA]

Chuck Norris gave birth to himself

[linayamada98]

not jokes, facts!!

[Breezy2Freshv3]

Chuc norris is a pusshjrnhrfnjmfrtbnhvcnjmkrgtk­jbgnvrhcbgxhcfnrjvmtb,mjnvhbcx­gdujhbmynmbjnvhbcgdcujntmbhymk­jnvghcbgxdvchbfmnjvtb,ykmnjvch­bxgdhecmjvgt,blhkmjngfvgdhbcjr­mk,lh;,bkmjvcbgxdchfmnl,kgmjcn­dbxscjmkl,n;hbgkjxhbsxdfnjgmhk­l,;'nlhbgkcnjhxdbgsdhfnjtm,.nh­b,tmkjxg ALRIGHT I WAS KIDDING I WAS KIDDING!!!!

[TheWeedl]

Oh come on ! Chuck Norris is just a stupid actor !! If he is god he will come to my house and slam my head to the keyboardosjijdshbdhdssdjsjnbhj­dsiodsiodsvjkxuiodsjajajja

[MrMachoman956]

Chuck norris won alerican idol with sign language

[MrWasder]

how weird that before the video there is a wow chuck norris comercial



[siliconejacket]

chuck norris doesn't do push-ups he pushes the earth down.

[DanJoeShow]

que thia chuck morriss jokesn a in is AWESOME! U should make the= more!

[gotdamunchies1]

fredy krugger's has nightmares, about chuck norris...

[pokemonloverme]

32 people made a very bad mistake go get them chuck

[TheLtuGamer]

Chuck Norris has been made one mistake in his life.When he thinked so he made mistake .

[VarickTV]

Goddamn. I had the chuck norris wow commercial as I clicked on this video.

[turnerskatepark]

They're not jokes...they're facts.

[WWEBROTHERSFORLIFE]

befor death shoke hands with chuck norris he was alive

[Deverey1]

chuck norris one lit a man on fire under water

[carrier10]

CHUCK NORRIS CAN TOUCH MC HAMMER!

[NevadaWrangler]

@joepesciscat yet you have an American actor in your username, fuck off america hater.

[TheThetromboner]

Some one watches epic rap battles of history not saying any ones name cough cough SOGlord cough cough few exsuse me

[xelbaga1987]

chuck norris sleeps with the light on not because he's afraid of the dark ,because the dark is afraid of chuck norris

[Chervesom]

Comment removed by Chuck Norris 

[BrennaLoves]

they once made a chuck norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody...

[PatShorttHeroNo1]

Chuck Norris is'nt scared of the water...THE WATER IS SCARED OF CHUCK NORRIS!

[johnkristoffertibaya]

Chuck Norris destroyed pluto

[mrjmorson]

jesus is waitin for chuck norris to leave b4 he returns

[superpurpleskittle21]

"Chuck Norris was once in a fight with a wolverine and lost a testicle, you might know it by its technical term, JUPITER!"

[rocketmik65]

Chuck Norris doesn't get Orgasms. Orgasms get Chuck.

[00Londoner00]

if chuck norris played in the movie 300 it would be called 1

[Algonquin81]

@00Londoner00 I like that one lmfao

[KKandas]

Chuck Norris traveled to the Virgin Islands and... well... lets just say they are just The Islands now

[GaaaDing]

@KKandas I can prove that actually

[TheWachong]

@KKandas So he had alot of sex then spread the children around the island

[majkel052198]

whatever u can do, an asian can do better, whatever asian can do chuck norris can be better

[SOGlord]

you missed a very good one: Chuck Norris doesn't battle, He just allows you to lose.

[KKandas]

i thought u said chuck norris never sleeps... 1:22

[Prometheus720]

Most kids check under their beds for monsters. Monsters check under their beds for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris checks under his bed for those damn headphones he lost yesterday. Seriously, fuck those things.

[Jumpinoutdawindow123]

chuck norris looks under his bed for mr.popo.Mr.popo checks under his bed for anyone mental enough to be under there

[TheDeathon]

Chuck Norris split pangaea

[lltrinidaddy]

Chuck Norris is Dark Vadars father...

[megamouth20]

Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Bros....without jumping.

[l2pks4f3rs]

you blinked one time at 1:58

[MrGreen9797]

umm... lol?

[Abbekej]

In Soviet Russia..Chuck Norris still kills you.

[jakob26842]

Comment removed by Bruce Lee

[MrBlueRockstar]

why do people pretend that chuk noris is God.....he's not all that great

[randomwhiteg]

@MrBlueRockstar you have 7 days to live.

[MrBlueRockstar]

@randomwhiteg so do you

[MrBlueRockstar]

@randomwhiteg noticed this was a month ago...im still here

[zachsims520]

@MrBlueRockstar chuck norris can kill you with a roundhouse kick to the face

[MrBlueRockstar]

@zachsims520 i loved to see him try

[zachsims520]

@MrBlueRockstar ok find him and ask him to kick you i bet you wont survive

[MrBlueRockstar]

@zachsims520 where do i find him

[zachsims520]

@MrBlueRockstar Oklahoma or hollywood

[zachsims520]

@MrBlueRockstar besides its just jokes

[MrBlueRockstar]

@zachsims520 i know its jus jokes but....i jus think people are over exaggerating

[yoyohockeyshow123]

@MrBlueRockstar oh fuck wat did u do were all dead now ˆ¥ƒ¨©˙¨¬ˆ©¥ƒ†®∂ƒ†©˚ˆ¶§†®¨®ß˙´Ω­˙¥†¶∞®ˆ≈¥ß∞߈¶•π¥œ¶©ß𧃆ƒ∂ßøœ­¥∞ß∂ˆœç

[downloads2011]

Chuck Norris was once in a fight with Wolverine and lost a testicle, you may know it by his tehnical name: Jupiter.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!­!

[klostroi]

Chuck Norris looks like Chuck Norris

[ozziehaddon]

chuck norris can kill dead bodies

chuck norris can walk up a flight of stairs without taking a single step

chuck norris doesnt walk, the earth moves for him

[colts18345]

chuk norris doesnt have spurm, he has tiny little ninjas

[pyroGAMER23]

@colts18345 l2 spell

[ShrapnelfromDAfuture]

@pyroGAMER23 ?

[pyroGAMER23]

@ShrapnelfromDAfuture sperm* not spurm



[ShrapnelfromDAfuture]

@pyroGAMER23 what the hell are you talking about?

[pyroGAMER23]

@ShrapnelfromDAfuture LEARN TO SPELL you cant spell why i pointed out its sperm* not spurm

[ShrapnelfromDAfuture]

@colts18345 ? and i laugh at the guy who corrects your for your spelling, you can still read it can't you? that's what i thought... he tells you to spell right when he is to lazy to put learn to or he just can't spell so he puts L2.... lazy...

[colts18345]

idiot! oswald shot JFK from a building!

[pausa831]

chuck norris gave god sundays off.

[MsVanillaSmile]

God can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

[ShrapnelfromDAfuture]

@MsVanillaSmile it's on land idiot....

[MsVanillaSmile]

@ShrapnelfromDAfuture Uh, no it's swim THROUGH land, idiot.

[ShrapnelfromDAfuture]

@MsVanillaSmile nope that doesn't even make sense? Swim through land? thats retarded... it's on land... idiot..

[MsVanillaSmile]

@ShrapnelfromDAfuture Whatever, if you are to handicapped to understand the pretty simple joke, then I feel for you. And swim ON land makes less sense... idiot.

[ShrapnelfromDAfuture]

@MsVanillaSmile coolstorybro tell it again

[Dratenburg]

"Its 5 o`clock somewhere"Alan Jackson

"Its always kick ass time" I will give you a hint about who says that

Its rhymes with Chuck Norris

[EG101ify]

Chuch Norris can kill to 2 stones with one bird

[akwardawsomness]

how dare you do this. chuck norris is so powerful he can set fire to the rain.

[MsCool595]

if it taste like chicken looks like chicken and smells like chicken but if chuck norris says its steak its steak >:D

[MsCool595]

chuck norris round house kicked a horse now its known as a giraffe :D

[MsCool595]

@MsCool595 CRAP I WASNT LISTING HE SAID THAT >:(

[Lugo428]

@dumb-fucking-asshole News flash, jackass, that was a mom joke! And one that didn't even make ANY fucking sense. So before you try attacking me, you might want to sober up a bit. Bow, go crawl in the hole you came from and die.

[NarutorRasengan]

Chuck Norris got into a knife fight. The knife lost.

[Lugo428]

@joepesciscat Hey, you pulled the mom card first. I just retliated in a way a dumbasss like you might be able to comprehend. Alright. Go get a fucking job. And a real one, not some bullshit you think of and put as your occupation on your piece of shit channel.

[Lugo428]

@joepesciscat I mean your mother. She's the one who promised me the blow job. She does it every monday night. Why am I lying? she does it everynight.

[soefer]

Why this man witht an afro stole chuck norris video he change the name and stuff if use to be Throwback Clip:Chuck Norris Training To Become An UFC Fighter!

Now it is Throwback Clip: Layzie Bone Training To Become An UFC Fighter!

search it up on youtube

[Lugo428]

@joepesciscat You know what I mean. You shouldn't be talking shIt! And you know what, that doesn't even make any fucking sense. How can a sister I don't have be my mother? Clearly you must be drunk! I wonder if you feel better about yourself talking smack about other people. You know, some people would call that low-self esteem. Now, get your lazy ass of your mother's computer, I gotta meet her tonight. She promised me a blow job.

[Lugo428]

@joepesciscat And you shouldn't be talking shot. The way you're acting, you're a disgrace toward EVERYONE in the UK. P.S, I don't have a sister. You might want to do your homework before you attack me, dumbfuck.

[stupidd26]

THEY ARENT JOKES THEY ARE FACTS

[WHYNOTMEB4U]

YOU GOTTA LOVE ALL THE KEYBOARD WARRIORS, THEY ALL MOST LIKELY ARE ALL FAT.

[Lugo428]

@joepesciscat You want an award you racist fuck?I can hold my own in a fight too bitch. I hope you'll get your ass kicked soon by the very people you are insulting. So pretty much everyone in the UK.

[Lugo428]

@joepesciscat That's a lot of talk for someone on the internet. I wonder if you cn back up what you say? But we'll never know. And I'm not black you crooked toothed, tea sipping, son of a bitch.

[TakePillsToGetSkills]

Chuck Norris knows if Lady Gaga is a man.

[Lugo428]

@TakePillsToGetSkills IF? Dude, Chuck Norris knows Lady Gaga IS a man.

[Lugo428]

@joepesciscat An "imbred criminal" is still better than a racist piece of shit like you. Then again, I shouldn't be suprised you're being an asshole, one look at your channel, and it all becomes crystal clear. I question why I'm even typing this but, fuck it.

[GarchompOwnsU]

@joepesciscat what i ment was three letters -->wtf<--

[GarchompOwnsU]

@joepesciscat three letters wtf?

[goddamnkids75]

chuck norris smiles

[GarchompOwnsU]

@joepesciscat fuck off you rasist bitch

Chuck Norris can't fell when he jump at the Ifel tower, The Ifel tower jumps.