In The Know: Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don't Give A Shit?

[JossyHadash]

People who say they don't give a fuck are lying, because if you really didn't give a fuck you wouldn't even waste your time saying that you didn't.

[skulleton]

Why do they all have glasses?

[WeirdlyBeardly]

this makes me feel great and horrible at the same time for watching onion videos and not working on my paper.

[Bongo1020]

Where the hell is Cliff its his damn show i don't want some pansy in his place!

[Redjoker96]

Dude i didn't give a shit and i was making higher grades than the ones who did care.

[KoutetsuTenshin]

I AIN'T SNITCHIN'!!

[TheFeelin89]

fuck! i love nancy.

[abhu0971]

"Nancy, who threw that?"

I aint snitching....LMAO!

[cyanmanta]

Who would be Clifford Baines' arch-nemesis? Someone else whose face you never see?

Damn you, Dr. Claaaawww!

[macbeasty]

"In the know with Clifford Banes"

"I'm filling in for Clifford Banes"

[Nickdiaublow]

When is the last time Clifford Banes actually attended "In the Know" w/ Clifford Banes?

[psychee1]

@Nickdiaublow Never :)

[Gfulino]

I ain't snitching

[whyme943]

Yes

[marlito166]

I will not rest until I meet this "Clifford Banes" fellow...

[MrWaddefak]

lol @ the ending xD

[CrapTurret94]

I disagree. I don't give a shit and I've been doing well in exams.

[RamirezRoyalty]

facebook.com/bookmarks/pages#!­/pages/I-Dont-Give-A-Fck/35484­6744544059

[yankee9123]

Ha. Schools should do more to get kids interested? How about Mom and Dad? Schools teach the curriculum. It is up to the student to be somewhat engaged. If not, they will fail. Back in the 1900-1980's did the teachers do anything out of the ordinary to engage kids? No!  Clearly you are clueless. Now it is a teachers job to make a kid care. Keep in mind most kids to care due to good parents. The kids that do not care usually have very dysfunctional families. Later dude.

[Jaildale]

@yankee9123 Dude, this is the fucking Onion.

[wookiedestroyer101]

@yankee9123 Yes but in this modern age a lot of american youths are lazier and less likely to revise or go over their homework, so it is important that the set curriculum is made for both kids who don't give a fuck and kids who do. What you are basically saying that if you have lazy and unwilling parents you are going to fail at school? I don't think that is fair. I think every kid should have a chance to strive and succeed in this world.

[SeanStephensen]

It's funny how some of this is true. Schools should be doing more to actually get kids interested, because the material is irrelevant to kids. In the real world, people don't give a shit. 

[bngibbs]

I ain't snitchin'!

[jeesssssssssss]

I know it's suppose to be a joke but this video makes me so mad

[luckynumber58]

*quotes video* LMAO

[Bradlyeon]

"no child left behind" at its finest.

[MagikMaru]

How could this have dislikes? Good acting.

[alchemistxp2]

Clifford Banes is awesome!

[locutusofborg278]

It wouldn't surprise me if the Onion released a story stating that IQ tests are biased against the mentally-challenged, it's just as well factual in our politically correct, equality-of-outcome society...

[bootstrap52]

" and in the real world people dont give a shit..." lmfao!

[googley3]

"we need to test these kids on what they know, not what we want them to know!" haha

[MrBabyFister]

That black lady makes me laugh so god damn hard.

[SPNaedre]

... Wow. How do they even keep straight faces? I mean, honestly. This is just so insane and awesome. Onion News Network is possibly the best Satire out there.

[eswormssful]

i ain't snitchin'...hahahaha

[Fas6pa]

Honey badger don't give a shit.

[DaFleegsta]

Yeah!!! And why are people so decriminatory against racists?!?! EQUALITY MY ASS!!!

LOL XD

[siddaviscomedy]

I wonder who the people who dislike this are.

[kingofamericans]

@siddaviscomedy The only people who would dislike this is people who give a shit.

[spacer125]

@siddaviscomedy people who actually give a shit in school

[TheJP3372]

@spacer125 Or teachers

[mashmiles]

What about all the historical figures who didn't give a fuck about anything?

[RichardGrantV]

For all of the praise that you give Clifford Banes, none of you guys have made him a facebook page, so I had to do it myself. Get it together people!

[Regginyaga]

I'm a self centered asshole because I think school is a huge waste of time

[coopzilla007]

This was a discussion beetween my friend and his teacher Teacher: taylor why are you only up to question 3 you 22 left I'm disappointed when she's walking away

My friend Taylor: COZ WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK!!!

teacher: TAYLOR PRINCPALS OFFICE NOW

As taylor is walking out the door

Taylor:BITCH!

(he got suspended)

[stigoblogg]

@coopzilla007 Wow! You're friend is sooo cool.

[Nerd322]

School is designed to teach people how to deal with the real world and in the real world people dont give a shit - Holy Crap. Shes onto something...

[nintendofool]

For a second there I thought the nemesis on clock tower joke was a Zelda Majora's Mask reference but it was really Resident Evil 3..........

[nathan33445]

My lessons in school are half assed, we gotta learn by our selves and the teachers just READ a slide show. Then they give us Full on serious test like they just taught us the best damn lesson and we know every thing about what they "taught" us

[noskipepi]

LOL! "I ain't snitching!!"

[SSAvenger]

Apparently wearing glasses gives you an 89% better chance to appear on an news panel that is meant to look official.

[ariaaaaanne]

"fortunately i was very blessed to have a teacher that reached out to me and taught me the importance of pretending to give a shit about things"

[TheSolidm16zach]

@ariaaaaanne i loved that part

[scallywag1312]

@ariaaaaanne LMAO!!! I almost shit myself!

[TheSpeedPlays]

This is so true you have no idea.

[ReBirthLunatic]

@TheSpeedPlays lol, i don't give a shit.

[MoreTails]

@ReBirthLunatic lol i dont give a shit

[BanjoThreeies]

True story

[BanjoThreeies]

Thats why I failed high school, because my assignments were half assed, and my studying non existent, what kind of teachers did they think they were giving me exams I clearly never prepared for, I never had a chance!

[HEishere2]

@BanjoThreeies Seems like your survival skills need a lil work, eh?

[NickyAmerica]

"Kinkos has a program like this"

[CJEJTHEDJ]

To be perfectly honest, I don't give a shit about this topic.

[BigWiggerNoobTube]

I AINT SNITCHEN!!!

[MrNosnitram]

STEPHANIE!!!!!!!

[NickyAmerica]

I Didn't know Kinkos had a program for people who don't give a shit.

[HoneiiDiiva]

I shown this video to my professor.

[TheYouwontgetit]

in the real world people don't give a shit...!

[halorulesyourface]

now i know why ive been scoring such low marks

[Jackspadeproductions]

I'm a lazy mother fucker too. I don't even care :)

[asl2g4u]

OMG! HOW THE HELL DO THESE PEOPLE KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE?!?! IT'S KILLING ME

[carlose0318]

@asl2g4u because its not that funny

[CrimsonGuitar14]

Who cares?

[MrSeagull16]

what about the historical figures who didn't give a fuck about anything? lol

[MegaKillerDeathHippo]

I ain't snitchin'!

[Z3kedog]

did anyone else see the banana commercial?

[RichardGrantV]

I listed Clifford Banes as my role model in careers class.

[cp69yoo]

LAWL

[collegeman1988]

How dare they!!! Who do I contact to file a lawsuit?

[lordxeras]

@flopain2 how the hell are you surprised? Have you even taken a look at British humor in the past fifty years? Monty Python, Top Gear, The Office, etc.

[ZRANCIS]

@flopain2 yea, because the british have how many moon landings?

[suffern63]

@ZRANCIS Four

[throwmeaname]

@ZRANCIS lol how is that even relevant to what he said?

[stigoblogg]

@ZRANCIS They have 0 moon landings, just like everyone else.

[SuperBananaLand]

I threw it!!! hahaha

[madjock888]

@flopain2 Lol and your using American spellings

[amer1cancer2753]

What is math?

[Zillionatom]

He's fighting his nemesis on top a clock tower?

[lovelee182]

@Zillionatom clifford barnes is the man...

[gantzuka]

I think the profiency test is pretty much road block. What exactly does it prove. It doesn't prove what we know. I only prove what we should have known. Plus if you weren't one of those one who didn't stare out the window all day and tried to get it down pact, but didn't. Is it still your fault. I know I was offered no help to prepare for the test and my counselor said I didn't need a tutor and that I would eventually pass it. Guess what I never did. So I'm one of those few who got screwed.

[CuriousAznBoi]

Our High Schools and Elementary School are piss poor, but our Universities and Colleges are world class AND THAT'S what matters.

(Capitalization intended for emphasis)

[gantzuka]

@CuriousAznBoi Yeah. Taht sounded flatout fucked up.

[gamerunknown]

@flopain2

racist

[WalterStudiosPro]

Clifford!!!

[stickinabag]

"in the real world, people don't give a shit"

[DaGleese]

@stickinabag its so true! XD

[cdude100]

how come im hearing about a shit load of people that doing drugs and sleeping in class and now in a university

[SexyFish660]

@flopain2 Shut the fuck up. Fuck you and all your bullshit stereotypes.

[javed86]

@SexyFish660 stop crying

[SexyFish660]

@javed86 Fuck you too.

[killingseason777]

This video is totally true. I never gave a shit in class, and when those tests came around, i just said fuck it and bubbled all "C", now i have no job! the system has to be fixed!!

[colleydog90]

I ain't snitchin'

LOL

[ImRivid]

@flopain2 I are umarican an i thin kit is supar funny

[spacecommander12]

@ImRivid not funny

[4513radkej]

stigma against self centered assholes. Awesome

[BWeManX]

"The purpose of school is to prepare our kids for the real world, and in the real world people don't give a shit."

[Zomwat]

@flopain2

*mentions america in sentence*

*gets lots of replies*

Well played, good sir. Well played.

[TrainedPwner]

FUCK FUCKING ADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Riketz]

@TrainedPwner Get firefox and adblock, add the default to you subscription list, never have to watch another youtube ad again.

[terrorrname]

this is true

i tried it

groundings are geared against kids with bad grades!

[mobydick789]

@flopain2 ya being sarcastic is really sophisticated cunt

[Kookas]

@mobydick789 oh you simpleton :3

[Strikerklm96]

Best line ever. 1:33

[14bj337]

"There is a large stigma in this country against lazy, self-centered assholes."

[Illmatic1988]

Resident Evil 3 reference was genius

[sonicnewboy]

@Illmatic1988 totally, the RE reference was awesome!

[Bladerunner302]

@flopain2 That sounds distinctly like a backhanded compliment, sir

[RougeLady]

@sameshitdifday Wtf? That does not make him a homophobe, some schools don't even teach Black History yet Gay History is seen as much more of a useful topic to teach? I'm sorry but I don't think it's significant enough to teach a school about dudes who liked anal holes and dicks over nations who were sold for blood money. Does anyone even learn about the Aboriginals of Australia? But no you want to learn more about historical figures who took it up the ass? And no, I'm not homophobic either.

[sonicnewboy]

@RougeLady Being homosexual does not mean you like to "take it up the ass." Both Blacks and gays are minorities and have been discriminated against; neither should be ignored in the school system. Saying that one deserves to be taught over another and that one isn't significant only makes you seem ignorant.

[stoopidguys2010]

this is genius. america needs SERIOUS educational reform. this video is clever, witty, and well-acted satire. Nice job Onion.

[RichardGrantV]

Clifford Banes sounds like a total badass.

[Icy6222]

lmao this totally makes sense! :D

[lololol36]

OMFG THIS IS FUNNY AS FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

"I didn't give a shit when I was school. Fortunately, I was very blessed to have a teacher that reached out to me and taught me how to pretend to give a shit."

[sebastiangallegoceba]

LmaoOOOO

[hp1975]

UFC!!!

[Peon546]

makin fun oF NIGGERRRRRRRRRRRS

[preemptivestrike20]

@flopain2 25% of your fellow countrymen don't think we landed on the moon and you have the nerve to think you're in a position to be a snob? Ha you Brits are funny.

[Kookas]

@preemptivestrike20 25% of our fellow countrymen live in or are from Northern Ireland and if they haven't already are probably on their way to blow something up as I type this reply. The remaining 75% are completely hilarious and radiate high quality jokes daily exposing all who come within 5m to their glorious humour.

[reodk]

breingitback!!!

[kosanovskiy]

I AIN'T SNITCHIN!!!

[pinkflipflops02]

I AIN'T SNITCHEN <3 <3

[theuma91]

They are all wearing glasses. u realised?

[MCAMVP]

this onion is probably the opposite of faux news:

comedy based on truth, not lies

[reodk]

@flopain2 How dare u, have u not heard of the simpsons seasons 1-8

[rottmist]

@elr456 OK then .But black history? Come one, that's not really necessary let alone should it be mandated. Don't the news tell us enough about blacks already?

[elr456]

For those wondering: "What do the gay comments have to do with what's in the video"? I simply commented that what they said about careless students is right. Instead of letting retards fail I typed that my state senate instead now wants to force everyone in CA to learn about gay history. I mean who cares? It's not even necessary. But some ultra radical homo "sameshitdifday" below accuses me of homophobia just because I don't want to be forced to learn about gay history.

[Athils]

@elr456 I'm not an Anglo-Saxon protestant, but I had to learn their history in school. They taught me stuff about the Revolution and the War of 1812 even though my ancestors only showed up in this country two generations ago. My world history classes didn't teach me shit about Ireland or Sicily either, but you better believe I learned about England and Spain. School isn't just about learning what's relevant to your little sphere. It's supposed to give you perspective, too.

[elr456]

@Athils OK then .But gay history? Come one, that's not really necessary let alone should it be mandated. Don't the news tell us enough about gays already?

[elr456]

HAHAHAHA Omg! Why do you have to blow everything out of proportion?! HAHAHAHA "The blood of every gay kid who kills themselves is on my hands" Omg hahahaha That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read. I don't hate gays. Except for idiots like you who accuse me of something I'm not guilty of. I'm not homophobic. You're the idiot that believes everyone should be forced to learn about "gay history" when it's not really necessary. You're the only one I'm calling fag, not every other gay. Fag.

[elr456]

@sameshitdifday I was never talking to you in the first place so you can fuck off you cocksucking faggot! No one wants to deter gay advancement here. Just keep your "history" out of our schools. Fuck off with whatever twisted agenda you have. What "history" is there to teach anyway? That they started spreading HIV? Fuck off! No one was talking to you from the beginning.

[elr456]

@sameshitdifday I don't even have kids you moron. I am not homophobic. I believe everyone has the right to feel pissed knowing they are being forced to learn about something they aren't interested in and even more when it's something useless like art or...gay history! I get along with gay people but I'd be pissed if I was being forced to learn about them when it's useless and a waste of time. Same goes with Latin American history. I have to take it and dislike this. And I'm Hispanic!

[elr456]

In real life schools should just let apathetic students fail. They should stop wasting taxpayer's money and teachers' effort in trying to make everyone feel good about themselves.

[enjolraslechimiste]

@elr456 Well said!

[elr456]

@enjolraslechimiste But here in ultra liberal California that will never happen. Instead our Senate wasted time passing some stupidass bill mandating gay history be taught in schools. smh

[enjolraslechimiste]

@elr456

Do not use the word liberal be associated with the problem we agree on. The problem is neither liberal nor conservative. I don't see Republicans doing anything to solve the problem anymore than Democrats. Neither political party advocates letting apathetic students fail, so it is wrong to call it a liberal problem. I am a liberal.

 And what you consider "stupid-ass" represents the history of people, too. Is African-American history stupid? Is Hispanic history stupid?

[elr456]

@enjolraslechimiste Wait a minute. Why am I apologizing to a liberal? Your party has destroyed my state so screw off.

[enjolraslechimiste]

@elr456 I'm not a liberal. You viciously seek out making people your enemies. You are a sad, sad little man. I believe in trying to get along with people who disagree with me. Believe it or not, yelling at liberals that they are stupid will NOT persuade them.

[AurikSarker]

HILARIOUS

[FuryMMA]

This isn't funny. People with motivation deficit disorder need our compassion, not our ridicule. We now know that this is not a choice, but a condition that is genetically determined.

[bigdaddynumbah1]

I AIN'T SNITCHIN'! LMFAO

[aimalkhan123]

that black woman is always hilarious.

[Songwriter4God]

Gotta love the top comments on Onion videos. :P

[dharma5050]

Not always true! I'm fortunate enough to have been to be granted an undeserved master's degree in apathy from a shitty grad school nobody ever heard of, and still couldn't care less. So god bless america...

[atyomommashouse1]

At the beginning does he say "Filling in for Clifford Banes who's fighting his nemesis at the top of an abandoned clock tower."?

[MrOmniblast]

@atyomommashouse1

yes

[islandstylebassist]

This is hilarious! It reminds me of that Jon Lajoie fake commercial for not giving a fuck haha

[myuzeefreak]

Nancy is the fucking best!

[Killioa]

It's funny cause this is true... my school tries so hard to help students who don't give a shit and now we have no money... go figure?

[Jigsaw135]

I AINT SNITCHIN!

[drag4630]

I swilling snitcheeeen!,,!,!,,

[Maasuum]

I ain't snitchin

[nnlamb25]

these kids who dont give bull shit are a minority! We must help them!

[ThePresticle1]

Again--- I have seen the codeword ROFL. Hmmmm---I mean, I am NOT stupdid!!! I am all over you "Onioners" like white on rice. ROFL I am lead to The Onion for the elusive "ROFL". The cat's out of the bag, dumbasses!!!

[SMWjunkie2]

Me fail english?, that's unpossible!

[zzyzx0788]

@SMWjunkie2 Lol. Simpsons reference?

[SMWjunkie2]

@zzyzx0788 Yeah it is.

[zzyzx0788]

@SMWjunkie2 Lol. I find it weird that so many people know so many recognize so many random Simpsons quotes, but man do I love hearin em.

[kcunit333]

@SMWjunkie2 Ralph from the Simpson ?

[SMWjunkie2]

@kcunit333 Of course. He always says the funniest things.