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  • The story of KATIE UhLAenDer (b. 1984) losing her father during competition evokes the 1988 story of U.S. speed skater Dan JanSEN, who lost his sister to leukemia on the day of his 500 meters race at the 1988 Winter Olympics in CalGARY, ALBERTa, Canada. Though exactly one month separates the birthdays of UhLAenDer (JULY 17) & JanSEN (June 17), the 500 METers race is not related to orchestrated benefits. Dan JanSEN is unrelated to the prophet DANiEL, though surname JanSEN ends like SENator starts

  • UhLAenDer losing her father, Ted (452-62-0831) during the FIBt World Championships in ALtenBERG, GERMANY is unrelated to a "fibbing T". That's despite Ted UhLAenDer dying in atWOOD, Kansas, the seat of RawLINGs County. The county also has the towns of McDONald & HERnDON--neither of which are related to NFL QB DONovan McNabb, despite his growing up at 15430 Diekman Court in DOLTon, IL. HERnDON is like: "there's some 'HER in DON'--queer. DIEKman sounds like a HIM that's a HER-- a lesbo DYKE

  • FIBt World Championships in ALtenBERG, GERMANY is unrelated to a "fibbing T" despite Ted UhLAenDer dying in RawLINGs County, KS and it bordering HitchCOCK County, Nebraska. HitchCOCK evokes two dudes marrying--that TRENTON is the county seat evokes the NEW JERSEY CAPITAL and "uncles & aunts with something to lose from your success in life" themes. HitchCOCK County has the town of STRATTON, which could evoke the "lawn mower" theme through bRIGgs & STRATTON engines or the TV series "Silver Spoons"

  • RawLINGs County, KS has the towns of DriftWOOD, CENTER (like "I'm IT"), UNION, MIRage and Achilles--which isn't related to the TV series "Silver Spoons" or basketball player GRANT HENRY HILL, despite the show starring JoEL HIGGins as edWARD STRATTON III. The rest of the cast is a nod to the local STONE CULT: RICKy SchRODER, ERin GRAY, LEONARD LIGHTfoot, FRANKlYn SEALES (093-46-3869), ALFONSO RIBeiro. SEALES' MAY 14, 1990 death coincided with the first day of the ASNE hapless intern debacle

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