Dealing with an Inferiority Complex part 2 of 2

[maritzellycon]

You're amazing! Thank you so much! I understand so many things that have and are happening to me during all my life! Excellent job! please continue educating me... Thanks from mexico!

[JourneysLady2006]

I am 65 years old (a young 65 I may add) and I have dealt with having an Inferiority Complex all of my life. I think what you are doing for others through YouTube is simply fantastic! I hope to hear more from you in the future. I don't know when you posted this video, but is there another one after this one where you had thrown away your tools in the group? You are very knowledgeable. Your are spot on my friend. God Bless

[kwsixpack]

I also want to add that my first, second and even current wife has cheated on me to one degree or another. I am an absolute trust mess, I can't trust my wife at all. I can't believe how much your story resonates with mine. Thanks

[lpr5269]

I went through everything that you mentioned. I have lost many friends and my girlfriend did the same thing that yours did.

[someoneinthekitchen]

I think you are a wonderful person, we have a lot in common. I know we could help each other.

Where are you from, where do you currently live. I am North of Detroit. In Southfield MI. Please get back to me at Bello1amore@live.com.

Thank You so much, you really helped me. ; )

Gregory Dettore

[karzart1]

I truly admire you for doing this. You really inspire me. I'd love to have coffee with you in person, but I settle for the videos. :)

[thebigcrap009]

I have only found it now and i can relate about half the things but fortunately anger issue is not prominent and alcoholics is RARELY if never consumed in the household as far as concern, i am glad i watched your video.

[eileenerxx]

that ripping out your own heart part you said... thats what i've been doing for years...

[shw1264]

To continue my thought...I would really like to ask the BPD sufferers if everyone with this illness suffered an abusive childhood. I ask this because my husband and I are increasingly racked with guilt that our son's struggle is our fault. No alcohol abuse, physical abuse, previous mental illness ( well I can be anxious, but never medicated or treated) in his childhood. We of course were not perfect, but I can't put my finger on how this happened. Is it always Mom or Dad?

[shw1264]

I stumbled across your channel while trying to learn more about BPD following a diagnosis of my young adult son. Watching you is like listening to him...much more so than the profiles that often characterizes men with BPD as violent abusers (at least that is the way most of the U.S. writes about it.) That was never his way, it is directed inward. Your videos are the first descriptions where I recognize him and they are really helpful. Thank you.

[Persephone9ish]

I appreciate your courage and compassion in sharing this video with those of us who suffer like you do. What happened with me was that I was continually abused and misused sexually as a small child and blamed by the abuser - told I was a disgusting person who caused his behavior. When I told anyone about it, I was punished and told I was creepy and bad for making up such a repulsive thing. So I ended up hating myself. YouTube EFT Tapping videos help me a lot, too.

[SuperAnimalDrummer]

I can relate to everything you said. thank you.

[mylittlestar92]

Hey, thank you for you amazing videos. They help me very much because I don’t feel so alone anymore. I know there are people like you, feeling exactly the same way I do. My childhood was almosed the same but it was not my dad it was mums new husband, he really hates me and I’m scared of him. I always trayed to do everything perfect but mostly I felt. I always had to watch my mum because she is so easy to hurt and her husband always is mean to her so I had/ have to protect her.

[mylittlestar92]

During the week he was at work until 9 or 10 o’clock in the afternoon and when he arrived he was angry and drunken mostly. So my mum had just me as the “big” girl so that I had to help her and my little half sister and my half brother. They always played together and started to hit me but they were small and they just did that for one year or so.

I think that you will do that man you are great and I thank you a lot for doing this videos…

[Saitoko7]

I hope you know how much your videos still help people. Your kindness, friendliness and compassion even while you're struggling yourself really tell the world what a good person you are. As for me, my mother often told me that I was too selfish, and that nobody wanted to hear about me in conversation. I was only supposed to ask others about themselves, and I really took it to heart at 7 years old on up. To this day, I get very uncomfortable talking about myself and can't take compliments.

[yinnyang67]

I feel you took load on my shoulders, as i am follow your tapes

[Clash139]

My childhood was a bit different but it's caused me inferiority complex to... Nd I feel like I'm an empty shell tht nobody would notice if I just suddenly disappeared nd iv felt like this since I ws eleven. I'm almost16 now.  Nd I'm pretty sure that me being what ppl want to me to be isn't healthy. I'm questioning if I'm developing a form of depression :(

[drvilson]

@Clash139 I've felt a similar way over the years, I felt as if i could blow away on the wind and nobody would notice, and that would be a good thing because then I wouldn't have to deal with how i feel inferior to them. But recently i realized that by just being me I play an important part in peoples lives; think about it, most people I think worry about what others think of them, but im someone my friends can talk to, the fact that i stop and talk to them probably gives them a bit of a boost.

[paindoll]

Wow, thank you!!!



[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@paindoll You're welcome.

[InterpretationDream]

But remember ,NOT ALL AT ONCE. Consider it is like the running or the jym training. Dont run more chiliometres or lift more weight than you can. Try to recognise your limits, and try to improve them a little bit everyday.

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@InterpretationDream Thank you for your opinion. :)

[InterpretationDream]

@InterpretationDream

Nothing. I was try to refer to the other people who are viewing your post. Defently this was not an advise to you. I still have communicative problems skills (boundairies issues and sorry about that), but i try to get a long. Your videos were very helpfoul. It is an amazing try for people who are suffering from bpd traits.

[InterpretationDream]

The most important thing also is to try to INTERACT with other people. NOT giving all in once, but giving ONE step at the time. One day is good, the other is bad....but slowly you become STRONGER and STRONGER.

REMEMBER this : NOT ALL IN ONCE..... be focus to your mark. And your mark is to take your real self out.

What i personally thing in situation like these and the people around me, is that it is very DISHONEST not showing my real self to others.

[gagbana]

Hey, I think you are brave. The solution is focusing on what u want in life, being good at it and making an effort. You may fail but the journey is what its all about. Gud luck.

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@gagbana Thank you.

[asphyxiafeeling]

this sound so much like me. this video is really helping me. your first relationship sounds exactly like my first serious relationship. wow.

[AtThisDayInTime]

I recognize everything you said.

[LolVermillion]

And I will not put myself out there for people to walk all over me and or cheat on me, or hell, they'll think I'm a boring fuck and leave, making me even sadder.

I try to not make friends even though I want friends. I've had 'friends' who're actually assholes.

Everybody in this planet has the potential to hurt you, even your loved ones and those close to you, so I chose to not have any relation to anyone even though it hurts.

I'm a failure and I'll stick to that.

[LolVermillion]

You asked if I can relate to any of that, some yes and some no because:

I have NEVER been in a relationship, I am not good enough to be anyone's anything period(And because of what you said which I hear all the time which makes me not open up to anyone at all, I don't believe love exists anymore, everyone is cheating here, there and every-freaking-where.

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@mimi0674 So great to hear that!

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@Mr1upguy I will keep making videos :) Thanks for your comment!

[chedie]

This video stabbed my heart... in the sense that I know I've been carrying this all my life.

It's good to know I'm not alone. Can't relate it well to my family and friends. So this is a great help. *sniff sniff*

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@chedie I'm glad it was a bit helpful. Wish you all the best.

[jaesong]

Inferiority complex is like being over competitive, right?

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@jaesong Not really. But sometimes it is part of it for several reasons.

[parakmiakokatsiki]

How do you describe mean because in my case i think that most of the people are mean to me

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@parakmiakokatsiki I think i would describe it as unfair most of the time

[CandysAllMediaReview]

Watching videos is such an immense help, I cannot even properly describe how much. I even watch some videos again to remind myself of important key things. I'm in a relationship that has derailed me at one time and I'm working to gain ground again. I allow people (I give them this power), to trip me up and keep me from loving myself. I must stop doing this! I crave love so much as a BPD. I need to go into therapy again too. I'm rambling but anyway, I am so happy you uploaded a new video!

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@CandysAllMediaReview :) I hope you are doing ok within your relationship. Stay strong!

[lyttav]

aw!!! this video made my day. you are a sweet guy and i wish you all the best in you recovery. as sufferer of an IC we're definately not al one, and today you help me feel a little better about myself so thank you!!

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@lyttav :D Thank you so much for this comment! It really means a lot to me.

[lyttav]

@MeAndMyBlackTable :) anytime, sweetheart ;)

peace.

[lyttav]

@MeAndMyBlackTable  anytime, sweetheart ;)

[vmedia2]

Great Video. I'm female,but I used 2 fight bullies in school.Trying 2 fix mean people! Today, I help businesses, but, I really want 2 be a photographer. Ugh, I can over help clients, over work conversations,feel like I have 2 be witty, insightful, I talk out of nervousness. WHY:My dad hit me,lectured,insulted me.Felt I deserved it. Answer: Finally I saw the value in how God has helped me, and I see, He is my Ally, my true Father.This makes me confident / brave - 2 know, God knows & cherishes me

[vikawika]

thanks a lot for the video. i just recently discovered i have bpd, and started researching it... it's such a release knowing others feel the same way . . i wish you all the best in your recovery.

[FootballnSoccer]

I try to be perfect by trying to appear to be the smart one and in this I am myself. But I take too much crap from my close friends and as a musician, they make me feel like I cannot measure up to others with. Part of me likes my inferiority complex because it helps me with my writing (I am a writer) but I question whether its healthy to torture myself like this for the sake of good material. I am not afraid to take criticism from the average person, just those I respect.

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@Popsicleculture thank you Helen.

[AtarasBlog]

hey i thiink i relate to sooo much you said. sometimes i also try to do exactly what people want me to do. like i dress how they want me to dress and act the way they want me to act.

one thing my theripst told me was that i dont really know how people want me to act, and also it doesnt matter because in the end i want to be with people that like me for who i really am. i am really working on this and feeling much better.

i will make a response video soon :)

you are really beautiful and awsome

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@AtarasBlog love your comment! " i dont really know how people want me to act, and also it doesn't matter because in the end i want to be with people that like me for who i really am. " That sounds so powerful!!!

[adrienne317]

Much of this sounds familiar. I lost so many friends, family, and myself. I've just begun the trek to finding *something*. Let's hope this goes well. : \

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@adrienne317 YES let's hope so!! And, imho, i think it will :)

[tadpolenese]

Thanks also for bringing up so many real manifestations. I hope this helps to dissipate the stereotype of people with inferiority complex as always only victims. All the famous and brutal dictators in the world commit atrocities to compensate for their inferiority complex. The true danger of inferiority complex is in its destructive power not only against oneself, but against others. The Great Leap Forward in China killed ~30 million people through starvation. That's the destructive power.

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@tadpolenese Thank you for your interesting comment. I'm not familiar with that exact two-step technique. Thanks for the tip.

[tadpolenese]

You are absolutely right also on trying to be yourself. Become one in a million, instead of one of a million. All children should be encouraged to do that. Each person needs to find that special something that make them unique. That uniqueness is the inner candle light that will accompany you till your last breath on earth, and it will help you weather through toughest storms.

[tadpolenese]

Have you tried a "two-step" thinking? Let me use a metaphor: when a letter arrives, people with inferiority complex only focus on the envelop, and forget to look at the message. I think it is helpful to always keep inside your mind this question: "what is the real issue? What is the other person trying to say? Where is s/he coming from?" By focusing on the real issue, you can divert your bad energy away from inferiority complex, and use it constructively to solve problems.

[MySerenity11]

If you don't mind answering, what type of group are you going to?

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@MySerenity11 A psychoanalysis group. Once every week.

[yukkurin]

everything you talk about is what I have been trying to figure out for so many months now. your videos really help me understand more...i really really appreciate it..don't give up

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@yukkurin Thanks for your comment. You don't give up either!

All the best!

[exxxpansion]

i just want to say thankyou from the bottom of my heart for this video, i see myself so much in you and it really gave me more hope that i knew existed, thanks so much and good luck!

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@exxxpansion Thanks Jim! I wish you good luck! It isn't easy.

But stay strong!

[sweetcitybaby22]

Ive had an inferiority complex with separation anxiety since I was like 10, I push people away and isolate myself so no one will have the chance to not like me. It is good to see you trying to deal with these issues for yourself. I know first hand that it is not easy, good luck, and you have my best wishes!

[redskyintheafternoon]

I want to change , but don` t know how.I believe people can sense you are hiding something from them and therefore they see you as "phony", fake. I know I am hiding from you ( I am a total failure and I dont want you to know that) and it`s obvious the person on the other side of the interaction is making sure to let you know: "you cant fool me" , I can see through you , you are fake, you are hiding something ..".It makes me want to stay at home only.I can`t afford a therapist

[redskyintheafternoon]

Thank you very much.It made me feel better to know I am not the only one struggling with this. Most of what you said on the video sounds familiar.It came to a point that I have completely isolated my self from everything. Cant even work. I feel panic when I think I have to find a job soon a talk to people. Feel like I am liying to everyone, and sometime , everybody will realize I am not a teacher, not a good person, have nothing to offer...They will find out my short comings. ..its so painful

[farhang2626]

Thanks for sharing

[poshdelux]

this is JUST like me…..its crazy, i self harm ,in a different way . i dance at night, and i am a nude model.its not something i like to do but, after my ex cheated on me n left me, i finally met someone 1 year later. it didnt work out. when my ex came back to me he told me he cant b with me bcz i was not longer pure and hav been with another man..sinse then i no longer cared who im with and use my body

[BlueSheep20]

Hey...I can totally understand what you've talking about. I recently self- discovered I have an inferiority complex. I wasn't conscious of it untill I've questioned myself: why am I thinking every time I make a mistake that I'm a terrible person or when I am in the presence of other people. It can be really painful....:)

Thank you for posting this...I was trying to find out more about this.

Remembering my past I know my mother used to say we are stupid and don't know anything everytime we...

[BlueSheep20]

...made a mistake. She is a great mother though... I think she suffered from iferiority complex too. Things got bad for me in highschool because I became so social anxious. I barely spoke .... I hated myself.

I didn't really knew where all my social anxiety and inability to speak for myself came... I recently discovered.

I think you're a great guy...thanks for these videos...they were useful for me.

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@BlueSheep20 Hi,

Thanks for your comment(s)! That must have been hard to deal with a mother with an inferiority complex. I hope you are doing ok with your social anxiety. greets, bas

[EyeNeedADoseOfMusic]

it does sound familiar..i have depression bpd and social anxiety. thanks so much for this video im going make a list of goals too. what does shortcomings mean? . Could inferiority complex be caused by low self esteem too? well done with throwing away your tools! /5stars

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

Shortcomings? Well let me give you an example: you're at a party and someone comes over to talk to you and you start to feel anxious (I have nothing to talk about, I don't know how to keep this conversation going) You feel that you're falling short on your social skills => shortcoming

This could be true but also only existing in your own head.

[SashaKuroi]

Shortcomings: We think we are not good at anything. We don't value ourselves the way we should. Imagine winning awards in art, but not actually believing your "good " at it, this happens to me all the time. Imagine you truly honestly think your the biggest sack of shit. Imagine a giant scale, and you are constantly comparing yourself against "super man" all the time. Its tipped against you, because your perceptions are way out of whack. Normally this occurs in childhood, and traumatically.

[SashaKuroi]

Love lost, hurts - a lot. Being told your going to die from an illness, hurts a lot. Anything traumatic can trigger people to develop these complexes. I wager even an older - mentally established (so to say) person could develop it too. Give someone enough pain and self doubt and bake at 360' to perfection...

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@SashaKuroi Thank you for your interesting comment! Greets, Bas

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

Yes, I think low self esteem can definitely be part of what is causing a inferiority complex..Thank you so much for the 5 starts for throwing away my tools!! :D

Please let me know how your list is working out.. if you want to of course :)

[A9Kam]

Good video, mate. I was reading about Inferiority Complex just recently, it's certainly a part of my problems and I'm sure it's got a lot to do with my perfectionism (overcompensation) and my social anxiety.

Thanks for the video. Your plan of action sounds like the right direction.

Your parents sound quite similiar to mine, by the way!

[MeAndMyBlackTable]

@A9Kam Hey nick, thanx mate.

I can totally feel you about the perfectionism and overcompensation!