Re: Let's Write a Sawng (Step 9: Revise the Chorus Chords)

[taylor2d2]

cosmicfog: yes, I had a lot of input on the final version. I recorded a lot of it in my studio and you can hear me singing backup, playing guitar, and synth on the final version. it's pretty cool

[TheCosmicFrog]

What's your opinion of the final version on Death to False Metal? Did you have any further input to it?

[JohnL311]

The best part of the song to me is in the first verse "and the airwaves..." backup with echo. To me thats the part of the song with the most depth, but I love trippy echo-y things. That part sends chills up my spine.

[guyvermandarkhero]

pretty good

[LolaG07]

Awesome.

I just became aware of this whole project thing a couple days ago, and have been watching all the video's related to it.. and I really think you did the best of all the people working on it. Gave the biggest push to what the song needed to sound like. A-Freaking-Mazing.

[taylor2d2]

thanks :)

[ju600]

epic

[RoseOnyxis]

Simply smashing. Lol.. Meaning I liked it.

[cajunbetty]

You're badass! Rivers right, you've got talent man. Dont get side tracked.

[openmindedproduction]

great video, good version, song needs a bit more edge or to be simplified a bit more...

[weezerbh]

add some weezery "oooohhh's" in there and it's golden

[WeezerGeek182]

I loved that. And I'm not usually easy to please.

[ZackScott]

Very killer! I love this version.

[greenless]

Really good. Nice to hear a solo again after the "red album" letdown!

[funnyboy88]

nice work, but the original chorus melody is way beter

[bsilfan]

i liked everything (video, music, harmonies) except for the chorus

[weezerbh]

wow rivers better pick this one...fuckin great

[Tfrenche321]

i really enjoyed the guitar solo.

[kw12389]

yeah. good tone but needs a bit more elbow jab

[laffypaulie]

YOU FUCKING PWN3D!

[TheWisestWizards]

Well done, this sounds great.

[colwightman]

Nice Work! The only knock is that I'd prefer it if it was River's vocal, but the music is brilliant.

[taylor2d2]

i'd prefer rivers' vocal too... we'll see...

[KillBlackRibbon]

Wow, this is awesome. I'm really impressed with how 80's this does feel! Great job man!

[taylor2d2]

thanks! synth = 80s

[sacketsharbor]

This song totally packs the fudge!

But seriously, good job.

[CZMQFRG]

LOL, I'm definitely gonna start a trend :P

[kazpereira]

Hey, cool arrangement! But is the chorus in D major?

[taylor2d2]

nope, the chorus is in some other key. i dont know music so good... but I know that my version of the song was never in Dmaj so, the chorus in Dmaj didnt make any sense. I have strayed too far from the original to play by the 'rules'

[CZMQFRG]

Fuck me, this packs teh fudge! If the final song sounds anything like this then we have a masterpiece on our hands my friend!

You're no-BS, you're damn talented on those instruments bro!

[taylor2d2]

i don't think i've ever heard of 'packs the fudge' bein used as a compliment.

thanks!

[CZMQFRG]

Honestly, it was a last-minute decision. Maybe I could start a trend?

"Dude, you totally packed fudge with that Tetris score!"

[taylor2d2]

That's a great idea. in fact... that idea... packs the fudge

[CZMQFRG]

See?!

[madcow312]

i havent heard many of the responses but man does this one rock

[jooepglass]

Nice work sir!

I cant wait for Rivers to get his hands on this, the man is a mad genius.

Weezer Rocks Music!!

[taylor2d2]

weezer rocks music. thats brilliant.

[jonascltnc]

That was awesome Taylor2d2. Nice studio you got there, too. :)

Rivers, this dude rocks! =w=

[JohnL311]

I'd say add a very slight vocal melody change during the last chorus. That's a pop songwriting trick that always works.

[Stimmespieler]

Is that a piano of some kind pounding away in the chorus? I like it, whatever it is. Rockin' changes. Keep it going! =w=

[taylor2d2]

yup, piano banging away at the chords. thanks!

[cienciasaplicadas]

simply wonderful

[vorloxu]

super cool! yay!

[GHM73]

Taylor's version is pretty hoppin' though. Forgot to say that : )

[YorkButler]

Are we still allowed to mess about with lyrics? Just a thought; if we went with the chorus (repeat) at the end like taylor does here, would it be an idea to slightly change the penultimate chorus to something like (and not necessarily):

'Yeah, and come what may,

We'll let the good times roll,

Listen when we say,

We're turning up the radio'

...and then back to the original chorus to finish? Just thought its a bit more interesting than repeating the same chorus twice in a row?

[taylor2d2]

i love that idea, and thos elyrix are pretty fantastic for that, i think i like it better for the last one... man, I can't wait for step 12.

[YorkButler]

Cool man, yeah if you think it would work for the final chorus, maybe that's where you could bring the piano in? Might give the finale a bit of an oomph perhaps? Needs some experimentation!

I'm loving this project. Let's take this all the waaaaaaaaaay...

[lisam805]

Hey YorkButler, Rivers used your idea for the second line of the chorus in his latest vid. And it was a great idea at that. Congrats! Let the good times roll!

[Spineroony]

There's actually interesting links thinking about "Buddy Holly" more, but people shouldn't think you are a copycat or something ridiculous. Just pure coincidence. You and Rivers just have similar musical ideas in common that's all. Great minds think alike, right? Hehe. I still love the song either way.

[taylor2d2]

also, I didn't write the words. and you could sing almost any song over a simpe 3-chord chorus...

[Spineroony]

Very true. Undone. Beverly Hills. Probably more Weezer songs do. Anyways, it's funny how the song links up to it. Who wrote the lyrics for curiosity sake?

[Spineroony]

I'd say it sounds like "Buddy Holly" and all the albums but "Pinkerton". ROFL. Have you tried singing over "Buddy Holly"s chorus over your chours? It almost fits into the song lol.

OMG DISCOVERY!

And the third line of:

(Your chorus)"I don't care what you say"

(Buddy Holly)"I don't care what you say about us anyway".

Wonder why he liked (whoever wrote it)'s lyrics...haha.

[taylor2d2]

wow

[Weezerpwns]

not caring about what someone says/thinks seems to be a pretty common theme within songs (and life in general). It certainly shouldn't be kept to a single song in an artists career, especially if it's apparent in their life.

[TheBenEstes5000]

Taylor. Awesome job. You really took the hook in a new direction. You're a monster talent!

[allnewmelodies]

wow, that was great!

good job.

[isecret]

that was great~ :)

[madpie109]

I still think it needs more of a melodic hook and not simply chord arpeggios, and I still don't understand the emotional perspective or persona that is supposed to be conveyed by this reading of these vocals. But this is really outstanding for what it is. I like the backup vox from the drummer, esp. on "for miles and miles"

Nicely done video.

[taylor2d2]

thanks, 'the drummer' is just me, but with a hat on. i'm not sure what you mean by chord arpeggios? you mean the guitar hook?

[Spineroony]

Arpeggios basically means instead of strumming the chord you are picking the chord usually bottom to top (which Rivers' suggested he likes). The guitar hook he wants (I believe) is like the intro to "My Name Is Jonas). Something not outlining a chord.

[duckiedeity]

On weezer's more recent albums he's tended to play a solo that is basically just the melody, but with a few more non-chord tones, just like your solo in this song. If you could come up with a really rad guitar solo that isn't just a reproduction of the melody, I think it'd give the song a little more character. Obviously it still needs to follow the progression, but something with a little variance would be great.

Great work!

[taylor2d2]

Thats very helpful and detailed feedback, if I were perhaps better at guitar... I would have done a rippin' solo to blow eveyone's ears off... but alas... actually I'm a huge fan of the green album, and a huge weezer fan, so my version was bound to sound green albumy.

[duckiedeity]

hey, good work, man. however, i think the fact that Rivers Cuomo is conducting this is influencing the sound of the song. it's beginning to sound more and more like a weezer song, maybe something from the Green era. I'm just not sure Rivers' goal is to collaborate with fans to write weezer's next song. I'd imagine he wants it to be something of its own nature, probably. One thing that could be done to deviate from that would be to change the guitar solo. (cont'd... see next comment)

[GHM73]

Up until the Red album, Rivers actually wries EVERYTHING. So in essence, Rivers is Weezer. (not to take anything away from Brian and Pat - and past members). Or at the very least, he is the driving creative force behind Weezer, and their frontman. You should pick up "Alone: the Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo". It's amazing and of course, very "Weezer/Rivers" sounding. Point being, this song wll get his "touch" once he feels he has all of the parts he needs to construct it. It shall ROCK.

[somebodysheine]

I liked it.. a lot. A heck of a lot. But damn I wish I had all that fucking awesome stuff you got to record with. All I used was one electric guitar and a keyboard with a pc mic. lol. I really need to get me some of that sweet ass gear you got.

Looks expensive! haha.

... The video was done extremely well too btw. Nice little music video! haha.

[bleed0range]

Whoops, I just revealed my secret identity. Crap. lol.

[AndrewG4d]

not only is this part of the amazing progress this song has gone through, but the video editing of this one is fun.

Do you do all this yourself? Or do you have some help in this? If it's all you, that's amazing.

Wonderful :D

[taylor2d2]

i did it all by myself. except for all the great suggestions from people on here! ans a friend of mine held the video camera for me when i was drumming.

[AndrewG4d]

that's fantastic! I hope you go really far with all this or just enjoy the immense amount of talent, time and effort it takes to do what you love.

Cheers!

[taylor2d2]

thanks everyone for the kind words

[lazrpo1nt3r]

Well... congrats... you just completely wrote the song to be a hit... And it sounds freaking incredible! Keep up the good work!

[YorkButler]

Great stuff man, I love what you've done. You've transformed it from just 'good' to radio-friendly, and I'm sure Rivers is gonna dig that guitar solo. I agree with diffinctive about introducing the piano in the second chorus, just to give it some sort of build-up. And I loved the hand-claps, but maybe would consider extending them to the end of the verse instead of cutting off in the middle? Just a thought...

But yeah, way to go dude!

[kmunkit]

loved the R2D2 and putting Rivers in there, especially on "take this all the way"!

I agree with Spineroony's suggestion on the "oh just" but I would leave off the "oh".

how awesome would it be to hear this on the radio? I love your version and I hope Rivers does too- it's going to be stuck in my head for days!

[Spineroony]

Yeah. Singing it around in my head, with the word "just" in there doesn't completely cover up your back-up vocals that you that already in there. Kudos Kmunkit.

[Spineroony]

Read my mind Diffinctive after I woke up lol. You are exposing the audience how the verse and the chorus sounds so you don't want to overwhelm them just yet with the piano hits. Just like steps in a sense. Simple the turn it up to be complex. This is so cliche but say "Oh just" to segway into the last time on the verse then piano hits when you say "Let". I think the tambourine hits will be more clear too when this thing is on a stereo level not youtube's mono channel.

[taylor2d2]

thats true the tambourine is a lot easier to hear on the full quaity version.

[diffinctive]

I like your stuff a lot.

I really love the synth fills at 1:56 and 2:13 and the claps and the pick slide (good recommendation spineroony)

I think the tambourine during the bridge is a good idea but I can barely hear it. Maybe, you should bring it out more in the mixing.

I also think you should take the piano out of the first chorus and wait to introduce it until the second chorus.

Also, I think your ending is killer. I was going comment on that on your last video, but I forgot to.

[taylor2d2]

Thanks, thats a good idea about bringing in the piano the 2nd time through. step 14b... mixing...

[miglehu]

Wow... you could really have a future in music. You have a lot of talent. And I'm not being fake, i liked your last rendition too. In fact, I still like the old chorus better. The new way isn't as catchy... seems a tad forced.

But all in all, I really have enjoyed your renditions. They're amazing... like I said, you have talent and a future if you want it.

Oh... and a minor question... are you using sony acid to record?

[taylor2d2]

I'm using sony Vegas to record, i find acid is a little too loop/midi based... the beauty of Vegas is I can edit the video in it too. it's great for both.

[miglehu]

Ah... they look similar...

Sometimes I do feel like I'm trying to record rock in a program designed for hip hop or something. Is that crazy? Am I crazy?

[taylor2d2]

no. not crazy. Acid is great for hip/hop or techno, or electronic songs, really anything loop based... like step 6 or 7 of this song making thing... vegas is more like pro tools, but with video editing too... unlimited audio and video tracks..

[stellar350z]

Stellar! That's all I gotta say

[NadaSurferTube]

daaaaaaang... that was awesome. :D

[lobsterone]

good job! the camera work for the drumming part is amazing.

[Spineroony]

D'oh I didn't appear...on the 47-48 second marker I hear a low voice in there. Did someone talk/yawn while you were recording or something?

[taylor2d2]

it's just a low pitched voice... a nod to Rivers' videos if you will. "Hey man back off" all low.... sounds better in high quality instead of youtube audio.

[jackietwilight]

EXTREMELY LEGIT.

[MrSassyPants09]

I really like this! terrific job

[Spineroony]

Your vocals fits this song. It reminds me of River's high clear tone like in the Blue Album. This is SUCH a radio hit. The more I listen to it, the better it gets. When I first heard your first video, it reminded me of that movie "That Thing You Do" with Tom Hanks and that time era. ROFL. FYI that's a compliment.

[taylor2d2]

THANKS! thats my favorite movie. seriously. if you dont count the (original) star wars, indiana jones or back to the future trilogies.

[jhorrocks]

Brilliant!

One thing I'd personally have done without though is the "turnin" repetition bit at 3:23ish. Not sure why but I just don't like it. Other than that it's solid, great job.

Nothing against your voice, which I really like and I think it fits well with the song, but I'd love to hear a version of it with Rivers on lead vocals and you on backups. I think that would sound awesome.

[taylor2d2]

I actually thought that about the repetition there... somehow with the chord changes I ended up with an extra measure... probably didnt need it, but was kind of boring without it... That would be awesome to do a version WITH rivers... but I have a feeling that in the end... it'll be just him.. and it will be AWESOME

[Spineroony]

OMG you added the pick slide!!!!! You are my hero! "Clap your hands!" Why not add hand claps there?! Genius! And you added the secondary guitar solo that I suggested too!!!! Thanks for implementing my ideas bro.

[taylor2d2]

Thanks for the ideas! they were all golden!

[rumbaworks]

holy hell thats was really good, i liked it alot, cant wait to hear what rivers has to say about it. great job

[RichieStarkey]

that's a good video dude