Added: 2 years ago
From: Pgirts
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  • What has four legs and one arm?

    A pitbull in a playground!

    Bwahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!

  • That's not funny. That's not- guuugh... (falls to the floor)

  • Did you hear about the man who lost his entire left side of his body in the saw house? but don't worry... he's alright now.

  • Hahahaha. That's not funny. That's not-- -coughs-

  • this is literally the most shocking joke I've ever heard. Frankie Boyle is a pussy compared to this.

  • I found that joke hilarious! Is there something wrong with me?

  • @DionLaurent1 Nope

  • Pretty awesome stuff, I've given you my subscribe ^_^

  • You should try to get a laugh after and in between the dialogue it makes the Joker feel like he's completely out of his mind, terrifying but funny

  • What has two legs and bleeds?

    Half a dog

  • So a guy drives past a stop sign and only slows down, cop pulls him over and asks "why didnt you stop?" guy says, "slow down, stop, its the same thing" cop drags the man out of the car and beats him up with the baton, while beating him up, the cop says, "Should I slow down? or stop?"

  • What's the music playing in the background?

  • @MegastarLV The song is Forest Entrance from Castle Crashers

  • You do the BEST Mark Hammill voice EVER.

  • AWESOME!!!!!

  • i should really feel bad for laughing at that lol

  • im so sorry im laughing at this

  • that's horrible...BUT FUNNY AS HELL!!!

  • thumbs up for castle crashers music and awesome voice acting

  • Is this from the cartoon, because I thought it was only in the comic?

  • @BulgarBoy no

    XD

  • Am I the only one that laughed his friggin' ass off at this?

  • Its kinda funny now because this was made in April

  • how you kill 100 flies at the same time?

    kick an ethipioan in the face

    MWAAAAAWAWWAWAWAWA!!!!

  • My face at the beginning: :l

    Face at the end: :O

    Face after; xD

  • this song sounds familiar tell me what is it?

  • o_o poor guy!

  • This is the most messed-up joke I know:

    A man and his wife live with his elderly mother and pet cat. They decide to go on vacation, and the man tells his best friend to take of his mother and the cat. During the vacation, the man calls his friend and asks how things are going. The friend says, "Your cat died." The man says, "You shouldn't tell me bad news like that all at once. He have to do it gently.

    (Continued next comment)

  • @zvermilyer3

    (Continued from previous comment)

    First you say, 'Your cat is up on the roof and won't come down. We're calling the firemen to get her down.' Then later you call back and say, 'While the firemen were bringing your cat down, she fell off the ladder and hurt herself. We're taking her to the vet.' Then later you call back again and say, 'The vet did the best he could, but your cat didn't make it. I'm sorry.' That's how you tell someone bad news.

    (Continued next comment)

  • @zvermilyer3

    (Continued from previous comment)

    So, do you have any more news for me?"

    "Yes," says the friend. "Your mother is up on the roof and won't come down."

    Here's another joke. It isn't messed-up, but it is Batman-related:

    What time is it when Batman finds your hideout?

    Time to get a new hideout!

  • 0_0 That was my face at the end of this video: horror at the joke, but blown away by the voice.

  • :-s :(( (TT o TT) Thats not funny, thats not funny at aaalll

  • ooook

  • Ah, the joke from the "Arkham Asylum" book! Great stuff!

  • The music just makes this all the more funny.

  • that joke is seriously messed up! i think i remember readin it in a comic. but your voice is just...spot-on....really, really impressive, man

  • A girl and a boy go out to dinner the boy go's to the bathroom and never returns the next day the girl and many others start a search party the police come up to the girl telling her they found the boy and that he's just fine the girl asks if she can see him all the officers laugh in her face screaming in her face you really believed it ha ha the guy is dead he commited suicide with a note taped toohim saying you can thank my girlfriend

  • Two Goldfish are in an aquarium, one turns to the other and says "Any idea how to drive this?"

  • a man visits his docter. the docter says "I have good news and bad news."the man says whats the good news. the docter says "you have 30 hours to live". the man says what could possible be worse. the docter says "I got the tests in yesterday and I forgot to calll you."

  • @DarkTider no, so am I. IT is a sick joke isnt, it? But its still funny... unless your the guy of course.

  • do the one at the end of killing joke about the 2 ppl on the roof of an asylum

  • that was kinda funny :D

  • omg that was brilliantly dark humored lol

  • that guy felt SO lucky

  • Best. Joke. EVER.

  • I have a joke for you: What is the difference between Commissioner Gordan and a chimpanzee? Gordan is hairy, stinky, and scratches his ass all the time. The other is a chimpanzee.

  • If you see a kangaroo in the desert, more than likely, you're in Astralia.

    If you see an elephant in wooded area, you might be in Africa.

    If you see a fish with a freaky smile, you're in Gotham City.

  • @MrHalt good one :)

  • @dontmakemeMAD1990 Thanks!

  • @MrHalt youre welcome :)

  • His baby is what? I couldnt tell what he said

  • "Stop... (Batman grabs his collar) Stop... (Batman punches him in the face) Stop... (Batman punches his face again) Stop... (Batman hits Joker's face once more) Stop... (Batman punches him in the gut) Stop... (Another punch to the face) Stop... (Yet another face punch) Batman... (Once more, a punch to his face. Batman grabs Joker by the neck with both hands.) Stop...me...if you've heard this one before...

  • "Stop... (Batman grabs his collar) Stop... (Batman punches him in the face) Stop... (Batman punches his face again) Stop... (Batman hits Joker's face once more) Stop... (Batman punches him in the gut) Stop... (Another punch to the face) Stop... (Yet another face punch) Batman... (Once more, a punch to his face. Batman grabs Joker by the neck with both hands.) Stop...me...if you've heard this one before...

  • rofl this joke made me lmao

  • so this elderly man is in his death bed. as he is about to take his final breath, he smells cookies. and like a work of god, he jumps outta bed, runs downstairs and begins to eat the cookies. his wife, ecstatic, calls the entire family about the miracle she just witnessed, and for everyone to come to the house quickly. as the entire family walks through the front door, the man finishes the last cookie his wife made for him....and drops dead

  • @marioman60659 dude, this one didn't even make me smile. I went through many jokes and I think this is the worst. Bye.

  • Lmao!

  • Good god... that had to be the darkest joke I've ever heard...

  • Whats a spaze stick, if I got the name correctly?

  • @IGeorge94 A spastic is a nasty name for someone with mental difficulties

  • @PaulAnt2008 Thanks ^_^

  • i am a sick human being

    i laughed at the end

    hahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA

  • OMG, excellent impression, and that was truly a sick sick joke!

  • Btw for those wondering, the joke is from the book "Arkham Asylum"

  • @DarkTider Funny you should mention that. I read that book at the local library just a couple weeks ago after seeing this video, and I was like "So THAT'S where it came from"

    BTW, if any of you haven't read the Arkham Asylum comic, check it out sometime. The art's kinda weird, but the story kicks ass. It even gives some backstory as to how Arkham Asylum was first created.

  • APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!! I love it!

  • It's better without the music.

  • music?

  • The baby is "hispastics"? what does that mean?

  • @Abradrake2

    nah mate.... "the baby's a spastic"...

  • A boy's parents are in a horrible accident. He goes to the hospital to check on them and he talks to the doctor. The doctor says, "Your parents are fine, my boy. They aren't in any pain." The boy is relieved, "So what happened to them?" he asks.

  • "Well, your father bit down and bit off his tongue, your mother lost both her eyes and they both have their intestines hanging out." the doctor tells him. The boy is confused. "So then why don't they feel any pain?" he asked. The doctor looks at him and says "BECAUSE DEAD PEOPLE RARELY DO!"

  • @bISHOPawesome Oh, very nice (and by nice, I mean, very very sick lmao)

  • Oh my gosh that's so sad.... but unsettlingly hilarious! XD

  • I love you. I love the graphic novel this was from almost as much as I love you.

  • fuckin funny as hell dude u are awsome i want more videos

  • Batman: Arkham Asylum (A serious house on a serious earth)

  • Ha! I almost died laughing...not that demonic things make me laugh...hahahee....:)play it cool!

  • I actually heard he Joker from "The Batman" tell this one:

    A doctor tells his patient, "I have bad news and worse news."

    The patients says, "Oh, dear. What's the bad news?"

    The doctor tells him, "You have only 24 hours to live!"

    "That's terrible!" says the patient. "But how can the other news possibly be worse?"

    The doctor answers, "Well, I've been trying to contact you since YESTERDAY!"

  • yeh i remember that - funny one :P lol

  • @Reaperluver i told that joke to my friends they laughed =D

  • @DarthFandoro

    LOL! Awesome! XD

  • WOW THAT WAS FUNNY, BUT SICK.

  • This is absolutely amazing.. How is this NOT Mark Hamill???

  • Everyone can be funny bot only a joker is fucking funny insane!

    LOL!

  • Comment removed

  • Like the music from Castle Crashers.

  • uhhhhhh

  • this joke is from the graphic novel "arkham asylum: a serious house on serious earth" when the joker says "april fools" he blows a guards head off with a gun to prove to batman he must do as he says... damn good work here

  • hell yeah. i love that novel

  • OMFG I accidentally gave you 1 star i'm soooooo sorry!!!!!!DX

  • I SO absolutely love this!!!

  • really, am i the only one feeling guilty over actually laughing at this joke?

  • You aint the only one. After i laughed i thought "why was that funny?"

  • I'm with you there...I smiled...but I feel bad for smiling...I guess Mistah J just brings out the darker sides to some of us.

  • well hell what do expect? Mistah J is a psychopathic clown killer who brings chaos everywhere he goes^_^ but I guess that's why we love himXD Very funny joke but VERYYYYY WRONG!!!!!XD

  • @DarkTider yes, you freak!!! ;)

  • @Omegian14 frrreak? How about we cut your comment into little pieces and feed it to the spammers hm? then we'll see how reasonable an internet troll really is!

  • @DarkTider I was being ironic!!! I found the joke hilarious, hence the smiley ;)

  • @DarkTider You are the only one with guilt all of us are laughing.

  • No.

  • @DarkTider no

  • @DarkTider

    I don`t feel guily at all It`s a great joke it`s just sad really

  • do more jokes like that its twisted and funny

  • awesome but you shouldve added some scarier musi

  • ooh, REALLY good mark hamil voiceover! <3 you sound just like the real deal. ;3

  • when will u do your next segment of "Joker Jokes?" Please tell us :D

  • plz make more of them

  • so this baby seal walks into a club......

    why did the little boy touch himself at night?

    to try and stop the bleeding from the bullet wound when his drunken father shot him in the stomach.

    why did the boy fall off his bike?

    because hitting him going 85 miles an hour doesnt exactly glue his ass to the seat.

    last one was origional content. you all just witnessed me making that.

  • PM those to him. Do it. NOW. I would KILL to hear Mark Hamill's voice going "So a baby seal walks into a club..." followed by maniacal laughter.

  • How do you make a baby cry twice?

    Wipe your bloody cock on its teddy bear. :)

    (I throw up a little in my mouth every time I tell that one, but its definetly the most messed up joke I know. Man, Im going to hell...)

  • Definition of hopelessness? Ethiopians running after an empty bread van.

    Definition of cruelty? Strap a stick of dynamite to a legless man's wheelchair and tell him to run for his life.

    Definition of confusion? Fathers day in the harlem.

    Whats the best thing about fucking 26 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

    Whats black blue and hates sex? The 8 year old living in my closet.

  • What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

    Gang rape

  • Now, if only you would be willing to do a tutorial on your impression lol.

  • I know I've heard the music before! What's it from?

    You've got that voice down freakishly well. Bravo! :]

  • the music is from castle crashers

  • Ah, that's where I heard it. Thanks. :]

  • Which comic is this?

  • One of my favorite lines from the Arkham comic book. keep 'em coming.

  • lol

    april fools

    sucks to be him

    joker rocks

  • That was great, a perfect Joker joke. Keep em coming.

  • oooh, that funny and twisted at the same time. perfect :-)

  • That was sort of funny in an awesomely sick way. Its in my faves now. Here's one for you:

    This guy's strolling along a bridge and this woman runs over to him and takes all her clothes off. Then she yells in his face; "I'm a virgin! Screw me!" So he picks her up and throws her into the river. Then he yells; "You're screwed now!"

  • 45 that was more funny then the joke in this video....

  • awesome joke. just the right touch of dark humor.

  • Lol !!!!!!!!

  • you should make more joke videos

  • tht joke is pure dark joker humor

  • LMFAO!!!!!! HAHAHHHAHHAHAHAH

    oh my god.....!!! That was great

  • A guy's wife is in a car wreck. He rushes to the hospital and the doctor says, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that your wife will never recover. She'll be paralyzed for the rest of her life. Her vocal chords were damaged, so all she can do is shriek and gurgle.You'll have to bathe and change her several times a day, and you'll never be able to live your own life." The guy says, "Really? What's the good news?" The doctor replies, "I'm just kidding. She's actually dead."

  • hahah XD

  • @rbobinsky OMG! your joke is freakin funny lol!

  • lol funny!

  • So good

  • You should do more i got a joke for you

    So a man goes to the doctor and the doctor examines him and says "Well i have bad news and i have worse news"

    the man says "Whats the bad news?" The doctor says "You have 24 hours to live." The man asks "Whats the worse news?" the doctor says "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday"

  • Didn't you get that fro The Batan show? Still a funny ass joke!! XD

  • Yeah actually. Joker says that line in the batman show. He said it better then me of course.

  • Comment removed

  • haaaahahahaahahhahahahahahaaaa­

  • Funny, funny... but something's missing here - the laugh.

    You should round out the joke with a full on Hamill-style maniacal Joker laugh.

  • hmm kinda imagined him yelling the last part of the joke in the comic but 100% good job dude :P

  • Wow... That is so Joker'ish XD... wonderful job with Joker's voice by the way.

  • That was disgusting, evil, dark, cold, and horrible..........I love it

  • do the one from killing joke, about the two guys escaping from the insane asylum

  • Do dead baby jokes!!!

  • Here is a similar one:

    Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.

    The doctor says: "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

    Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"

    The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

  • Mr. J that was 100% funny.

  • Comment removed

  • this was kind of LOL.

  • what song is that?

  • ok sick joke maybe maybe not but this ne's sure fucked up. A man is walking along a bridge and he sees a woman with no arms or legs and she looks at him and says "fuck me". The man picks her up and throws her off the bridge and yells "your fucked now!" like I said not exactly sick but very evil

  • That was disgusting....I loved it.

  • More Jokes Please!!!! :D

  • Castle Crashers FTW!

  • i love to see you do the scene in the Dark Knight where the Joker is talking to the mobsters, the scene with the pencil trick

  • LOL!!!!!!!!! Niiiiice.

  • You got the voice and his sick humor down to a tee.

  • atternaty ward

  • is this mark hamil?

  • No, it's me.

  • omg!!! if it is you you're incredible!

  • wave

  • apastic

  • ARKHAM ASYLUM

    YES

    YES

  • april foool

  • Definitely sounds like something Joker would have said in the show...if the rating was higher than Y7

  • april fool

  • LOL, awesome make more!! xD

  • your wifes vdead and you babys aspistc

  • YES

    KILLING JOKE LINES

    YES