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From: danisnotonfire
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  • all of my 'what the fuck's

  • My french teacher is a 50 year-old divorced anorexic weirdo who constantly says "balls" to make the class lauh, and keeps accusing girls of being lesbians when they get "too close" which have started many unfortunate rumours.

  • when you said he wanted to lock you in the cupboard all i could picture was you standing in the chokee from matilda o.O

  • I had an awesome english teacher who liked to lay down on the floor during class while still teaching XD One morning a friend of mine was telling a story and said "Close the fucking door!" as my teacher passed by, he looked at her and casually said "Woooow" and continued his stroll. A week earlier he was telling the class about his silk scarf and said "Sure some of the guy teachers say it's kinda gay, (he smiled) but I get all the ladies" then told us about the female teachers admiring his scarf

  • Your From Wokingham ^.^

  • and i thought i had a mad french teacher. like, once she told us what 'voulez-vous coucher avec moi' means when i was like 12(she told us that it has the verb couche which means 'to sleep' and that it is an intimate action between two persons. my deskmate and i started to laugh and told to ourselves 'it's called SEX!'). and she puts us to listen to childish songs and shit.

    and she's a racist. she hates gay, bisexual and lesbian people.she said 'how can i agree with something against the nature

  • I had quite a few lol . Two that stood out though were probably my history teacher in 11th grade, who showed us pictures of cats being thrown off roofs and joked about throwing his fiance off a cliff and in 12th grade my economics teacher who i also had for psychology that admitted to not knowing a thing about either fun fun -.-

  • hahaha I'm so happy I watched this video I loled so hard :p

  • My maths teacher turned out to have 500 child pornography pictures on his laptop with hundreds more deleted... Don't really know how to react.

  • my 6th grade teacher spilled water on his pants while standing up infront of the whole class and the other teacher started smacking his dick to get the water off.

  • A teacher of mine had this gnome,okay. His name was Bernard. She talked about him a quite a lot and had, you know, other gnome decor chilling about. But the real odd thing about her and this Bernard fellow, is that she took him along everywhere she went. She would travel all around the world, or make someone who was going to a country this gnome has never been to, and take pictures of him with a monument and whatnot. Oftentimes, she would play powerpoints of only pictures of him at these places.

  • non of my teachers are crazy but my dad once told me that he had a history teacher that was in the world war and every one in the class made exploitation noises and the teacher hid in his desk..............ye.

  • My teacher touched me ..

  • we had an art teacher , he was so weird , he wore crumpled smelly old shirts,wrinkled trousers and dirty ties,on mufti days he would wear tie-dye trousers,his hair was a tufty mess,he played the guitar in class,not well,would tell us about his failed audition on b.g.t and once he was wearing illumines sunglasses in doors,some one asked him why he was wearing then and he said in all seriousness"its fashion you wouldn't get it"and he would just say the STUPIDEST things,then he literally disappears

  • One of the french teachers in my school always wears a fur hat, she admitted in a fit of rage to her class one day that it was to keep in the voices. She wasn't even kidding.

  • Well, My Geography teacher, now retired, was a pedophile, he used to drop pencils and pens on the floor then look up girls skirts!

  • you're fit.

  • okay....dan you are frikkin hillarious. maybe he'll sell the cups to prostetutes so they have something to collect there money in? idkkk......can i share marshmellow fluff with you? ok.

  • OMG lmfao! I had a pedo science teacher (working at an all girls school) who was always really creepy and it turned out he was literally a pedophile, some undercover police officer went on a chatroom with him pretending to be a 14 year old girl and he was asking for sex:L awks! then there's my pedo d of e man. He tells us how he sticks photos of us (yup, still an all girls school) on his Walls and when we did CPR he was like 'tell me if you don't want me to touch you' creeepaay! He's 70 too:L

  • a maths teacher at my school was a porn star.........is that weird enough?:L

  • I had a female maths teacher who had a mullet and played rugby. Great teacher, really funny just a bit of a bitch with high expectations and loved scaring the shit out of the year 7s that got sent into our classroom by slamming her hands on the desk, yelling at them and humiliating them in front of us year 11s. Or there was the history teacher who was actually quite a nice guy but had a reputation for being weird. A point proved by the fact that he wore a cloak and Sherlock Holmes hat in winter

  • My 24 year old 7th grade math teacher used to shop for lingerie and clothes and other inappropriate things during class. She used to wear clothes that made her look like a hooker. She also used to flirt with every guy in class. We ended up having make out sessions happening because she didn't give a fudge. Best class ever. Didn't learn anything.

  • My grade 8 french teacher was just a total creeper. Several times during the school year she preyed on my now ex-boyfriend. Now what she was doing would be called "flirting", but because of the wide 36 year age gap this was just creepy. The creeping got so bad that she called him sexy on several occasions.

  • my teacher from sixth grade went literally crazy. one minute she said that everyone who was supposed to go to detention was supposed to go to a different room. then she said, never mind no one in this grade ever has to go to detention again. then she pulled a giant bag of marshmallows out of her desk drawer and started playing chubby bunny with herself.

  • Hahah, hilarious!

  • This just reminds me that my French teacher could be worse. Yea, he screams and stuff down on tables and talks about his love life all the time, but hell, at least he's not a lunatic.

  • My chemestry teacher tried to convwi

  • @ComedicRick Well done richard, you have discovered le danisnotonfire, also, your comment made no sense :)

  • @JuustWill Yeah, phone messed up, not my problem. And, I've been watching Dan for like, 3 months.

  • Dan, I love you. It had to be said :D<3

  • his nose is really sexy

  • Me and my friend say our french teacher lives in the little corner, behind his desk, because he has food, beer(yes beer), towels and loads of random things we find there. And seriously, he's the one of the strangest teachers in our school, even the teacher think that.

  • My french teacher is very bizarre... She acts kind of strangely and she also enjoys teaching us swearwords and other "interesting" words like rapist and finds it amusing when we fight during our speaking exercises... She's also fond of telling us stories like how she lost her virginity... And we're apparently going to have her as our sex ed. teacher... NO thanks~ *nervous laughter*

  • My teacher used to sniff people

  • What the hell happened to your eye at 5:17

  • lol

  • I actually have a French teacher like that... Like don't get me wrong he's one of the most epic teachers I've had and I learn a good bit from him.. but he is like weird sometimes xD he tells us about how he lived in France for a while and all the odd things o.o but then.. last year during the senior prank at like midnight he was there.. in his trailer/classroom area... at midnight... just chillling D: xD

  • I had a really, really creepy pedo math teacher in grade 9. Prof was when a girl that was getting 70 or something decided to flirt with him to get a better grade. The next day she got an 80......

  • my english teacher has a gigantic (metaphorical) stick shoved up her butt. she is a b!*ch. 

  • my english teacher keeps a locket of her ex husbands hair in her pocket... and has dreams about giving us all grammar carts. shes crazy

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  • OMG,that doesnt even sound real.........

  • i have a hard time believing you it's too hilarious

  • My year 9 Ecology teacher was obsessed with cats, left her clothes in cabinets around her classroom,and stared down kids. She would freak out when you asked her to repeat something. Oh yes, that was a good year.

  • Lmao this actually really funny!

    as if teachers can be that strange :)

    I think i very nearly wet myself laughing at this :L

    AND your rather gorgeous!

  • U have an interesting life:)

  • That sounds like it can be explained away a perfectly normal set of FREAKY AS HELL fetishes.

  • that is effing mad, got anymore???

  • i had a chinese teacher just like that

    it was doctor rolls

    creepyy fuckk >.<

  • 'and then the Crazy happened'.. hasn't the crazy happened already?

  • He told stories and like...it was just awesome xD like once my friend was chasing a kid and hes like HEYHEYHEY dont hit him....just chase him...

  • I had a music teacher who made the boys and girls in my class line up on different sides of the hall, wouldn't let you bring any sort of beverage into the class because of 'drug risks' (I was in 5th grade) and never let us talk unless we sang.

  • 5:18 DERP

  • My friends locked their art teacher in a cupboard and left her there one, she was a psycho. Actually come to think of it she still is.

  • we have this teacher that teaches us french and all she does is smile, its scary sometimes, even when she is telling someone off she'll have this huge grin on her face, its weird, plus if she comes over to help he bosoms fall out her top with is petrifying o.0,!!!

  • Okay, you're hot.

  • omg i'm from wokingham this is so exciting

  • Funny personality.

    Cute smile.

    Nice hair.

    Cool face.

    You're awesome.

  • my scince teacher kept getting a scooter out of his cupbord in the middle of class and sniffing people while riding on it. plus my freind saw him getting changed. he was wearing duck boxers. we never looked at him the same way again

  • Well now, I'm scared of teachers ;_;

  • Once, my science teacher randomly started to run around in the classroom yelling "Heil Hitler!", do I have to tell that we all were terrified?

  • All my French teachers were female, and were crazy bitches. No joke.

  • *holds in laughter as it is 3am* :'D

  • First video of you that I've ever seen, &OH MY JESUS. I LOVE YOU!

  • 2. This teacher was the worst of them all because he made a girl in my class cry that is right cry because she was talking a bit he called her a useless and a waste of space and well everyone hated him but the weird thing was when ever i looked into his eyes well i had i hate you look and get out of my face he backed off

    well that is my bad teachers well some of them lol

    P.s sorry if the spelling is wrong or bad because i was in a hurry

  • I had these 2 teachers that are well i have no words for them but anyways

    1. I had a teacher that loved to say bad words to P3s ( primary threes ) anyways going on with the story she was tell us stuff about something because i could not care any less on what she had to say ( in this story i was in p3 and i was like 7 ) she said ( where the bloody hell did i put it ) it might not sound that bad but i mean come on i was seven years old.

    teacher number 2 is above this

  • Nice Video Dan :D check out my HD videos :D ENJOY !

  • 5:18 *theme song goes off in head* reasons why Dan's a fail (yay) :3

  • my old ICT teacher offered me sweets whenever he saw me.. he later went to prison and was banned from working with children because he got done for molesting someone or something.... yeahhh :P

  • I was eating coconut milk flavored biscuits/crackers when you said you found dog biscuits.......

  • Kidding me? Awesome.

  • I had a substitute in English class. As she was passing out a quiz on our reading, she said, completely seriously, "And, remember: cheaters go to hell."

  • Our old science teacher was a famous rock bass guitarist ....

  • Ha! xD My Algebra teacher is a Vietnam War veteran, and he has flash backs of his time in the war during class. So far, he's shot me with a meter stick twice. xD

  • Our English teacher would do something like this, haha.

  • my french teacher is calld dr.brown... not even joking.

  • NOM POM BEAR!!!!

  • I had a supply P.E. teacher and he used to make us do "physical punishments". Like push-ups and stuff. Okay, its P.E. so physical stuff is normal(ish) but then it turned in to 10 laps and military numbers of push-ups. Then he asked a boy in my clas if he was "a man or a mouse?".

  • my geography teacher once cried in class (and i mean like a waterfall) for no reason then later explained that his cat had just died....

  • because we wouldnt shut up, the supply teacher (who looked like santa) stripped and started dancing....

  • my year 7 french teacher had almost a mental breakdown near the end of one of our lessons, we spent 10 minutes standing in silence as he slowley rocks back and fourth hugging his knees...

  • my teachers name was something like Mrs brown she was a suply teacher and we did somthing bad she made us stand either outside the class out side the head teachers office or face in front of the door

  • the sophmores at my school (i havent had him yet) have a crazy theology teacher that akways seems like hes on 10 gallons of coffee nomatter what time of day it is and my brother told me that he told the class that he hates coffee but instead he has a 2litter jug of soda next to his desk

  • My middle school science teacher had previously gone to jail for faking his own suicide, and stealing a car. The strangest part? He was the best teacher I ever had.

  • My 9th grade teacher messed around with our vice principle, got him divorced, started going out with him (actually saw them on a date together.... ewwwww) and after I left the school i heard that he knocked her up....unmarried..... yeah.....

  • My 5thGrade substitute teacher ended up molesting 2 girls in a park.

  • My marching band director literally used to be an underwear model O.O

  • My 5th grade teacher was allergic to perfume, she was obsessed with social studies, wore men's clothes, and hated me and my brother because we were smarter than her......

  • Holy fuck. Um my old spanish teacher used sweat during class.. Like really sweat.. He had massive sweat patches under his arms... And he smelt really bad.. Yeahh I didn't choose a language for GCSE.

  • My old RE teacher got arrested and charged for watching porn during my lesson. Scary.

  • One of my teachers got arrested for watching a porn video in class.Seriously, I'm not joking. An actual, full on, Asian girls screaming porn video. -_-

  • we have a teacher at school who i got told by my sister when she was in the room that this teacher literally dropped a pen down a girls bra on purpose and literally went down and fished it out of her bra. creeep. we all think hes a perv now

  • When I was in year 2 I had a supply teacher in maths, okay so we were very young. And this teacher made us put spaces of the amount of numbers between each number like if it was 5+5 it would end up being 5 + 5 weird much? Then we had him for English we were on the computers, perfectly normal. Until he made us put our hands on the keyboard put towels over our hands and type without looking at the keyboard. We were 6! 6 for Christ sake!

  • @WazzupLucy27 He also lived in a caravan and would walk around the classroom staring at people like a pedo. Then when I was in yr3 he left school for some un-known reason and the teachers also didn't speak of him ever ever again.

  • We had a geography teacher who used to go mental every lesson, screaming and shouting and throwing things, then the last time i saw her she was being wheeled away to an ambulance because she had done her typical crazy routine, and slipped and smashed her head open.

  • My Old Geography teacher was a professional wrestler and has been done for perversion:-)

  • You teacher sounds alittle like Miss. Trunchbal

  • SRS BSNS

  • Emo hair+British accent = I've just subscribed.

  • I have a crazy French teacher who walks around the class room and says "shh" in the quietest tone every, when were being silent. Then if I understand right we ask to go to the washroom, not just leave. Well my class is different, The teacher could be looking right at a person and they leave. They just leave. Then on their way back she will run into the hall and scream get back to class. That and she teaches us grade 6 work in highschool. No joke we has the same shitty little books.

  • I have a psycho French teacher right now, but she is horridly mean with some really odd quirks, not like an entirely my-teacher-is-a-hobo-on-drugs psycho. I've had her for two years, last year though, she admitted to collecting massive amounts of COMPLETELY EMPTY cardboard boxes, pens, and having some kind of obsession with Spongebob Squarepants. But, she has repeatedly told the entire class I don't do my work, and she gave a girl a 0 on a test because the girl went home vomiting everywhere with

  • @KangarooSaysMeow A virus that went around our school like crazy, and only a few people were spared didn't get horribly sick. She gives packets of homework with 12 or 13 pages. She got pregnant this year, and I guess was showing a student from another class her ultrasound photos, AND INVITED HIM TO THE BABY SHOWER! She has some kind of issue with body fluids, NO BODY FLUIDS ALLOWED IN HER CLASSROOM! After ranting at us in Spanish, my friend told her, "Hoy es tu madre!" That teacher is not right.

  • omg i live near wokingham :')

  • When i was doing GCSE English, my teacher was a bit mental. Basically every lesson she'd put on a different accent and teach us in that accent, including books and shiz. Then one day she went out of the classroom and was like 'now be good when i'm gone' and gave us all a (sensual) wink which was weird enough, then when she came back 5mins later, she walked into the classroom and said 'who's bad' and then she started moonwalking like michael jackson across the whole classroom.... but we loved her

  • My primary school teacher was an orange..

  • new school and walked up and down the halls ( I ducked so she didn't see me) and tracked down my new address and her excuse was my sister had an over due library book. And she left stuff on my sister and I's records saying stuff that no schools to this day will tell my family.She was a nut case, she even had all the girls in her class come over to her house (she was like 50) but I moved a lot since thank god

  • In grade 1 and 2 I had this teacher who was crazy and obsessive over a few students Me and 2 of my best friends at the time were some of the students this women was obsessed with. I had gotten lost on the first day of school at lunch so she sent the principal who I had never seen before to get me, she called child services on my mother for no reason, she visited me in grade 3 several times just me and my friend when she knew almost all of the kids, when I moved schools she went to my

  • i would tell u about my psycho french teacher which i am currently doing homework for but she'll find out i wrote this

  • My maths teacher went to the staff room (about 20 minuets from our classroom in the far end of the field.... ''/) so me and my friend started to look around in our his desk. We found a few surprising things such as a M&S bra, soap and a toothbrush, but the weirdest thing we found was a large poster of Justin Beiber in boxers! Taped to the poster was a head shot of our maths teacher with a speech bubble saying "Future Mr. Beiber"........

  • make more videos like this Dan! they are really funny :L

  • my English teacher is so funny and their is one kid in my class who annoys her sometimes and get sent out and other kid who annoys her (lets call her Bob) when Bob annoys her she just says cupboard and she has to sit in the cupboard(mini room joining the room opposite) This has been happening for a few months when recently Bob found the light switch in the cupboard o.O

  • you're really great at this :)

  • This was uploaded on my birthday?! Gee whiz. :3

  • You..Are..So..Damn..Cute <3

  • My bio 12 teacher slaps herself in the face if she tells us the wrong answer to a question but other than that not to many crazies in my school....

  • I love you dan Were getting married!!

  • He was singing what in French to get him put in a cupboard?

  • yay! More Story Time With Dan!!!!!!! :D

  • I had a Language teacher who had this mental obsession (sorry if this is not properly written, I'm from Argentina) with Greek Mythology. One of my classmates went to Greece on Holidays and brought her what apparently was 'a stone from the Parthenon'. The woman started crying and rubbing the stone toward her face while yelling Greek Mythological characters. Crazy bitch.

  • I had a substitute math teacher last semester for a month and he use to get the names wrong on everyone even is he knew our names. He called my friend Celyn Plesebo once...

  • Oh my god O___O

    One of my history teachers used to end a lesson with "and don't die!" and go into details about Henry VIII's sex life... It was a bit disturbing for a year 7...

  • my teachers are crazy..

    my p.e. teacher is a jiggalo, and he lives next door to my sister, so he has offered her sex a few times..

    my art teacher smiles when she tells you off; like she's enjoying it, and once i walked in on her with a voodoo doll stabbing the life out of the thing screaming ''DIE DIE DIE!''

    my old french teacher was gay, and frequently touched students asses - he got fired

    my new french teacher doesn't shave her armpits..

    & my english teacher puts plasic bags over her shoes..

  • 3:52 I'm french, and...yes, this is probably the worst french of all time, I can't even understand what you're trying to say! But you're still awesome :D

  • My story will sound really lame after this 0.O

  • I had a substitute teacher when I was in high school that believed everything you can imagine about aliens saying she lived on the space ship and was taken and they were the cause of the odd weather we were having (severe drought) and that they were the reason the sky was blue and she was so dead serious about everything that's why it was so funny and if we were getting too loud in class she would LITERALLY start growling or barking at us. no joke. omg she was so crazyyyyy

  • My old art teacher was previously a porn star.

    This isn't even a joke.

    He actually was...

  • oh and I forgot My HE teacher once called a guy in my class fat

  • A french teacher once gave me a central detention (a detention with the head mistress) for not having my tie on

    people get in fights every two days at my school and one of them usually ends up with a bleeding nose

    the boy/girl that makes this person bleed is only given a detention WTF

  • omg i was giggling like a 5 year old the whole way through i had that french teatcher pretty much fun lessons xxx

  • Well, let's see . . . where to start. My teacher is never actually in class. We just get the work and fill it out. Videos are what most of the teaching is done with. And . . . well . . . my teacher will cuss kids out (even though the principal does more, he also makes us do pushups when he get's mad) and my teacher and the principal live with me. What can I say? I'm homeschooled :)

  • I think one of the art teachers at my school is on drugs...

  • A history who told you about his sex life in detal. My year 7 history teacher screamed "IM THE QUEEN U WILL LISTEN TO ME" in our 1st lesson then insolted every piece of work u did and asked a boy why he was so thick and if he was dyslecsic (not spelt right).A math teacher whois really obese wears the same clothes every day and rarely is seen outside the maths block. A science teacher who cant teach. a teacher also got fired 4 making girls take their bras off in front of him. i got a C 2 :)

  • I can't even tell you how much I was into this video!!

  • My old french teacher used to wear dirty shirts and look at your arse when you bent over, it was later revealed that he was a pedophile who got released from prison... He also kept condoms and lube in his desk.... Awks

  • OH MY GOSH!!!! MY CRAZY ASS PEDOPHILE FRENCH TEACHER IS NAMED MR. BROWN!!!!!

  • My Biology teacher does the same thing with coffee mugs..! There's loads in a drawer under his desk :D

  • Dude, made my day.

  • 5:18 reasons why dans' a fail theme picture! :D

  • Dog biscuits and broken cds?

  • Sounds like something my Art teacher would do....

  • i have an english teacher that skips around the room saying skimmy skimmy skimmy skimmy then someone asks him what the fuck is skimmy then he would reply its semi-skimmed milk and then skip back to his seat .... btw he is a man

  • Our gym teachers a Pedophile...

    He would make girls follow him into the weight room (reg. bedroom sized room with lifting things)

    And then he would make them go on the wall and do squats while he stares at them and

    It'll be at times that squats are completly irrelevant to the exercise that we were doing that day... O.o

  • whos twilights last?

  • In 8th grade we had a sn INSANE substitute.

    Ms. No Name would pin people down in gym and yap like a dog in their faces.

    She also would say the craziest things (Nothing comes to mind).

    She was later arrested for drunk driving and had a seizure that killed her. :\

  • When I was 11, I had a substitue teacher who brought a knife to school. She had this little bag on her stomach every day, and in there she kept the knife, some pencils, money and other stuff. It also went rumors that she kept drugs in there, but we never found out if it was true.

  • in my RE teacher's cubord there is a whole suitcase full of clothes and shoes and stuff... i came to the conclusion that she is homeless................... yay

  • in Canada we are forced to learn French xD :P it's not very fun

  • LOOOL that made me crease :P:P

  • OH! And the old hag who would watch over the online class was just *shudders*

    She was like 55 years old, obese and had a crazy weird eye. I went up to her desk on day to get a paper and I saw a magazine lying open.. It was for dildos.. And it had special attachments... I knew her daughter too.

  • My math teacher use to tell anyone who disagreed with him "Your momma like it"

    Oh and then we had a geo teacher who would throw pots and chairs at kids.. Oh and then we had an ex-military teacher.. He was fun. He would play horror music and laugh evilly as he passed back papers.. Oh and we had a math teacher that stuck his hand down a girl's skirt to 'help tuck her shirt in'..

  • OMG are you from Wokingham :O DAMN

  • One time in geography, our PE teacher walked into the room to talk to a pupil and as he was leaving our geog teacher asked him how was Marvin the moose. Then they had like a five minute conversation on mosses... Oh and there was another geog teacher who locked a class in the classroom during break... We spent a term with him and learnt nothing at all and he got sacked at the end of the year

  • I've watched this video countless times, and every time I watch the part of the video where Dan say that the french teacher came back into the class and talked to Dan and his classmates AFTER the article about the teacher faking his qualifications was published. WHY DID YOUR SCHOOL LET HIM BACK ONTO THE PREMISES?!

  • reading all the comments makes me think crazy teachers are from europe only. The only crazy t teacher I had was an old Science teacher who called students "fatass" even though he was pretty big himself, and he kept saying "tickety-boo" like it was common. He creeped me out

  • One of my old friends were going through their teachers computer whilst he went to the Staff Room to print some stuff out, and on his computer they found loads of Porn and nasty stuff...They went to the Head and he got chucked out.... ugh

  • One time in 1st year (thats the first year of highschool when i was 12) my german teacher locked two kids in the cupboard and completely forgot about them so someone reported him to the head teacher. But surprisingly he never even got in any trouble or fired for locking up children!? Whats worse was the children were arch rivals and spent at least 2 hours trapped with each other...the german teacher is still at my school and im in 3rd year now!

  • That is really weird!!!!

  • Lol sounds insane haha

    my theater arts teacher in 8th grade was really strange- she had like four goldfish tanks at her desk, little toddler shoes lined up hidden behind her desk, and a trash can with American flags and whipped cream in it o.O really freaked me out.

  • hahahahahha OMG!! loved it!

  • What. The. Fuck. Ö.Ö I don't even ...

  • That was such an... Interesting story... Lol

  • LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

  • holy fuck that was an amazing story.

  • last year at college we were all getting ready for a gig...

    we had to take all of our instruments down to the bar in our tutors cars and a mini van,

    my fave tutor took all of his stuff out of his car so we'd have more room.

    the last thing he brought in was a little girls shoe.

    he kept the shoe in the lecture room...

    whenever we'd disrupt him, he'd throw it at us...

    a few weeks later, a newspaper said that there was a little girl, beaten half to death, she came home safe but with only one shoe...

  • @RawrDizaxx What... the.... fuck o_O