Eli's Dirty Jokes - Episode 27 - The Drunk's Drycleaning

[Liristis007]

GoPotatoTV, i reckon your other vids are better.

[shannongirl1221]

lolz now i noticeed! :D

[gcwolf101]

did anyone see the black version of eli behind the counter???

[LordGreenshake]

@Unknownlolz123 at the front, talking to the cashier

[JBond007006]

this was also in National lampoons Dirty movie

[Terrance41]

HAHAHAHAHAH THAT IS SOOO FUNNY

[nintendogirl3000]

this came out on my birthday xD

[TheStockCarStig]

Eli is the bartender on the right at 0:13

[thexlalax]

XD

[lauryn62051]

three guys go to a bar, man one says"i must have the head in the world" so man two says "i must have the smallest i must have the smallest arms in the world" then man three says i must have the smallest di*k in the world" so they all look in a giunnis book of world records and man one says"i do have the smallest head" and man three says "i do indeed have the smallest arms in the world" and so man three said "who the f*ck is justin bieber?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!­­?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!????­!­!!!

[zehraaaa0]

@lauryn62051 no. thats gay

[TheLoveFreaks]

Wtf's a laughable?

[MRElitiller]

hahahaha my name is eli hahahaahahaha

[HU4LandD9L4L]

KIDDY LAND :D XD dont ask i'm bored

[anaicker23]

eli=bartender



[ThisGuy1219]

a guy walks into a bar. he has a drinking problem. its destroying his family 8/

[snoopE35]

a white guya an asian guy and a black guy are on a top of a roof the white guy says lets see whose dick is bigger soo they stand near the the edge of the roof top and wip them out...the asian frowns..the white guy say ehhh....then they see the blak guy jumping they ask wat r u doing...he repilys im dogeing trafik.

[darkforeverxy2]

There was this old woman who heard a song called "Two Lips and Seven Kisses." She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, "Do you have "Two Lips and Seven Kisses?"

The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, "No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!"

So the woman asked, "Is this a record?"

To which the man replied, "No, its average!"

[AntonioKills]

I remember telling my friends this joke :D

[guyoftheshy]

an old man is in a nursing home shouting help i can't hear so a nurse takes him to the doctor and says there was a cipasotorie in the old mans ear and the old man says well that explains what happend to my hearing aid

[izvebad]

The wifes face at the end is priceless!

[N3MiSiSL3GEND]

There are 3 guys on top of a cliff, and one stands at the edge and shouts "I wish If i risk my life and jump off this cliff, i'll land in a huge glass of beer!" so he jumps and lands in a huge glass of beer, the second one stands at the edge and shouts "I wich if i jumped i'd safely land in a pile of cash" so he jumps and lands in a pile of cash, the third one stands at the cliff, slips and yells "SHIT!"

guess where he lands? ;3

[thinkstrait]

@N3MiSiSL3GEND in china?

[N3MiSiSL3GEND]

@thinkstrait Yeah.............

[kingstupidydude]

@N3MiSiSL3GEND on the ground

[N3MiSiSL3GEND]

@kingstupidydude yes.

[kristleveseli]

@kingstupidydude no idiot in shit

[lixz1]

@N3MiSiSL3GEND I've heard a variation of that long ago :P

[LieDownAndSing]

@N3MiSiSL3GEND what if he yells fuck?

[JTKatz07]

@N3MiSiSL3GEND He landed in a pile of "Scrubs" DVD's?

[5x3x1x5]

2 guys at a bar are talkin to each other, on guy says "aw men my wife is going to bitch about me being drunk when i get home tonie" the other guy says his wife is sound asleep when he comes home at night. the first guy says "why doesnt she bitch at you for being drunk" the second guy says "because when i come home i yell 'honey i wana fuck'"

[XxlittleriyxX]

why did the little girl fall off the swing, cause she had no arms

[herban123]

that wasnt as funny.

[apodobinsky13]

any else looking through all the vids?

[lovelylinds731]

@apodobinsky13 me lol

[TMC11AllStar]

hahah Eli's voice cracks at 0:23!!!

[MrSirLagalot]

Fuck you Meridian Ads... Propoganda - Publicize your faults biarches

[510prodz]

@MrSirLagalot Get Google Chrome with Ad Block plugin...never have to see another ad!

[FULLPLUS]

yo what kind of animation program u use

[paramorevampire1996]

what do sperm and polticals have in common ?

about 1 in every 10000 has a chance of becomeing a human 

[4fingers100]

@paramorevampire1996 so majority of them are crooks? xD LOL

[blooburry14]

@paramorevampire1996 you got that from vlogbros! yay!!

[MyNaturegirl]

i <3 you



[tyconnerlee]

did you notice that eli is always someone or something in all of the videos

[cpsilvermist6]

LMAO



[fluffeefan456654]

eli is the bartender

[joejoepinks55]

in the ending part where it tells u to watch them on cinamax it says tune un in cinamax

[SOyouTHINKurFUNNY]

this guy lookin out of ideas

[gso619]

XD I love her expression as the stink cloud aproaches

[gimmyfree]

all your jokes are worth wathing thank you

[ImpactOverTheTop]

The best part of these videos is the animation!!!!!

[pepperkorn3]

@dorindachait Thats one of Eli Jokes in a different episode, but nice try.

[Feartheviper]

@dorindachait Thats a complete rip off of another eli's dirty jokes...

[Marksmandude]

@dorindachait Douchebag

[ScytheOfFire]

@dorindachait faggot he already said that one make up your own

[Moshikashitenai]

A penis says to a condom, 'cover me! I'm goin in'!

[XxBrazilRulesxX]

@dorindachait wow ur retarded come up with ur own jokes and spell better

[Aash1999]

i know this joke

[millimac916]

what did the pussy say to the tampond ?

whats up blood

[TheWarped45]

this is pretty funny

[wickedgurl2571]

any1 notice in the end the stink cloud going towards the wife

[EastBoy67]

splish splash take a bath spread it

[sahib9307]

there are 5 men 1 man says to the others wanna have sex the other whispers to the other i think hes drunk the other one yells THAT WHAT HIS NAME IS !!!! the man said nothing.........

[xXxUnSpecOpsxXx]

@sahib9307 What?

[MishMash987]

literally... dirty

[aj10799]

@DevilofcompleteDark They mean its his face...Stupid.

[Russiarules1]

Now THAT is dirty!

[darthrex10001]

Sex

[jimish15]

@darthrex10001 Random comment

[captainamazingg]

ELI is the BARTENDER!

[LilJ367]

i dont get it

[Shivam455]

zzzzzzzzz

[biero1987]

what the fuck are youtube putting ads in now?

[initialdfanml]

gilbert godfrieds joke from years ago.... but i still love eli

[JimmmyMcFizzel]

L O izzel

[longstar56]

lol

[xxxfunnyguyxx08]

a mother comes to live with her son and one day the son comes hom from work and see's his mom on the floor. so he calles 911 and at the hospital the doctor comes into the waiting room and says "i have some good news and some bad news." the man says "whats the bad news?" "well your mom has suffered a terrible stroke but she is going to live for another 20-30 years but she is paralized so you have to feed her and change her". the man says "omg whats the good news?" "nah im just kidding she died!"

[nautypup20]

@xxxfunnyguyxx08 o_o

little funny

[jadindahouse]

maybe i aint in da mood but this was fkin lame

[nathanlufcfan1]

this is the best one evar

[SwaggaSoSick32]

a guy walks into a bar and orders a tequilla. He looks over at the guy next to him and sees the guy drink a shot and jumps out the window. the man was shocked. he was even more shocked wen the same guy came back in the room. Amazed the guy says how did u do that. The man replies i just drink a shot jump out the window and it slows me down. So the man tries it he orders a shot and jumped out the window. SPLAT.The bartender says superman ur a real asshole when ur drunk

[Ancienttowers]

@SwaggaSoSick32 u got that joke so wrong its two drunks and a bartender are on top of the empire state build. The first drunk says , you know theres a myth that if you jump of the empire state building you get sucked back into the ten floor. So the second drunk says if you do it i'll do it. So the first drunk jumps off 20,19,18,17,16,15,14,13,12,11,­10 he gets sucked back in and goes back up to the top floor. The first drunk says see. The second drunk says if you can do it i can do it. 20,19,18

[SwaggaSoSick32]

@Ancienttowers im pretty sure im right pal

[StarBullets]

@Ancienttowers i dont get it

[jokemas7er]

@Ancienttowers and it sounds to me like your joke is totally different and I dont see the punch line! what he stops at floor 18 or what ? if you are trying to say that he continued down through floor 9 than say so and if you are trying to use SwaggaSoSick32's punch line say it or w/e just finish your jokes when you start them

[Ancienttowers]

@jokemas7er you know, someone wrote this while using my account/computer - so I've no idea what you guys are talking about. the person is no longer hear, I'm sorry if he's confused people. But I've nothing to do with the comment. Thanks - James

[m16police]

@SwaggaSoSick32 haha thats halarious!!!

[RedSquadala5]

@SwaggaSoSick32 is it a 3 story bar?

[GamesFlyer]

oh i get it now .. .he took a 40 $ from the guy because he throw up .. and crapped .. wow im stupid :D

[d34dbol7]

@GamesFlyer no he put the second 20 there himself.

[erikatvdriver]

@GamesFlyer idiot

[GamesFlyer]

@erikatvdriver and you are ?? get a life !

[magician4011]

this one isnt dirty... unless you mean dirty underwear

[destrover5]

I dont get this one!

[julianbell90]

F5 BITCH!!!

[lycansre]

that's nasty

[RoadKill1313]

I am SO glad I discovered these once more! Funny, funny guy.

[Jasonc624]

the jokes aren't even thaaat funny but i cant stop watching them! must be the animation.

[dwilly0521]

Eli's dirty jokes is funny!

[AAis4quitterz]

Who ever doesn't like Eli can go fuck themselves xD

[awesomekid6]

That was my favorite one

[youngd352]

I'd like to know how he crapped in his pants.

[SenraethX]

I like how puke guy totally got *at least* $20 for free from the drunk with the bright idea. =D

[amelazx3]

heres one

there was a little girl at a park she was wereing a skirt then some guys go hey we will give u 5 bucks to climb the monkey bars. So she does.

She runs home and says mommy mommy i got $5 to climb the monkey bars. her mom said they just wanna see your panties.

so the girl is at the park again and they give her $10 . she tells her mom. she says they wanted to see ur panties. she gets $20 and her mom says the same thing she did before. the girl goes dont worry mommy i didnt were pantie

[KunkoFilms2]

@amelazx3

LOL

[shoshanish]

@amelazx3 LMAO

[izvebad]

@amelazx3 That joke is so OLD i guess thats why the comment was posted a year ago -_-

[testinglang123456789]

hey eli.

here's a good one.

there's a criminal that aboarded the bus full of girls.

he showed his gun and shouted that he will rape every girl on the bus. if the girl refused, he will kill it.

then a very hot prostetute stand and told the criminal to spare every one's life and she will give her body.

but suddenly, a lady stand up and shouted to the hooker, "shut up! he said everyone! i never had it for 60 years! this is my chance to have it before going to die!"

note: the second lady is old.=]

[BurieDCat]

@testinglang123456789 harhar

[dgksk8ta32]

@testinglang123456789 i forgot to laugh, sorry

[acr08807]

@testinglang123456789 The second lady is old? No shit?

[sherry55557]

he crapped in my pants to lmfao ...

[adventurerocketgirlx]

dont get it

[akilichev]

@adventurerocketgirlx

Meaning how could someone else fart(shit) in his pants?... lol..

[GretzkyPhelpsFan1]

ELI IS THE MAN

[CUT3BUBBL3GUM99]

@GretzkyPhelpsFan1 No hes the bartender 

[wolverin554213853]

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[Rovece83]

ITS A JOKE RETARD!

[11kth11]

erm okay?

[CoitusWithYourMom]

dont read the comments before u watch the vid. it kills the punchline :(

[Diaaakhana]

@CoitusWithYourMom haha y ty, i was about to go thru the comments then i saw tht and i was like WAIT

[senl12]

@CoitusWithYourMom thankss :)

[Black4ddiction]

@CoitusWithYourMom

Enough thumbs?

[fionnzzer]

@Black4ddiction lol ur right!

[EvoLutionPivot]

Eli is the Bartender!!

[Baldurpet]

Sigh... I guess that's kind of funny

[thenoobfactor]

Hey, since we're on the subject of sick jokes how do you get a dozen dead babys into a bucket? With a blender! How do you get them out? With taco chips!

[Tehwut]

dude were talking about sex dirty joke adn horny jokes not straight dead glum jokes

[thenoobfactor]

you're no fun.

[xXUrbanLifeXx]

That wasn't dirty it was SICK!

[inosacutie]

ew...

[TACOeatsTACO]

eli's black!!!!!!! woah.....

[zerolahero]

Asdfasdfasdffasdf

[seanmuse]

Lol

[lndefinable]

eli is the bartender lol

[manugkenny]

a black version of eli

[sharpshootah09]

good one !!

[RatmenKamikadze]

HAHA good one!

[boneyboyco]

eli the black man!!! at 0:13

[kakashiisbomb]

lol

[CJLewis20]

i wish they would come out with new jokes

[H0CKeyISMylife]

This wasn't very funny.

[SuperDeath74]

isit he suck the cock?

[shannonhoon1014]

Another Gilbert gottfried joke!!!!!! WTF

[harryploper1]

rofl

[Robwik]

you are not fun anymore

good jokes

[gerbasio333]

its an alright joke

[dstebbin]

Ok, I get it, but it's not funny.

[zaengo]

okay, if its not funny to you, shut up.

[motovx171]

another Gilber Godfree joke...

[avatarmaniac4721]

"honey...some guy shoved his shit down my pants."

[tarakennyxxx]

ha ha

some put shit in his pants more like he shit his pants lol xxx

[DoubleEdgedSword56]

i heard th pistaccio commercial while i was on heard the crack aww my nuts

[weroll619]

LOL

[ViralError]

in JTHM he's like

SOMEONE PUT SHIT IN MY PANTS! lol!

[reidthiss]

ah...johnny...where have you gone?

[innocentsinnerxx1]

haha

[wertbew1]

lol on family guy Chris goes "Some one peed in my pants!! :(" lol 5/5

[muanasira]

that was the best

[imaprettyprincess396]

Only a drunk man,

[TrandomnesstwO]

Haha.