@Cavernchick Its been quite some time since I first watched this video but I've thought of it almost every day since. I credit this video with starting my recovery. Everyone always says recovery is possible, but no one would tell me how or why. Your muscle memory comparison continually ran through my mind and gave me hope and what do you know-its true!! That's exactly how it works! I still feel guilty sometimes after eating, but I think I know what "normal" is now. Thank you! You gave me hope!
@Skatingangel44 Wow. I am SO moved that you came back to this video after so long, and even more moved and appreciative to hear that its message and content has impacted you after all this time. So glad to hear that things are well! Hugs to you!
this video helped me alot, i overate on too many sugary snacks today and instead of feeling disgusted and guilty and turning it into a binge and then proceeding to throw up, i just sat at my office desk and worked until the feeling went away. i just had a great dinner and might go have some yyummy dessert. xox
Oh wow. Thank you so much for sharing! Means the world that you watched and shared your experience. I'm so glad that you were able to sit with the feeling...cause exactly...it always will go away. Glad you had a great diner and possibly a yummy dessert! xo!
Read Explaining colours to a blind man. Not only will it enlighten many as to what living with a mental illness and an eating disorder is like, it also gives comfort to those sufferers who think there is no hope and that they are alone. It is very informative, sometimes shocking but also very funny in parts. All in all, a good read and highly recommended.
your welcome. i know that i love it when people watch my videos so i might as well watch other people's. and when i crossed this one i just could not not say anything about it. your strength is absolutely amazing to me.
just keep writing! sad or happy - it is all beautiful and soulful and heartfelt! keep it up no matter what!!! my poetry has gone through SOOO many phases: sad, depressed, angry, happy, political, controversial, boring...all of it. so keep writing and you'll continue to discover all sides of your self!
I've been working on my recovery for 3 years now and I'm 17 years old. It's really hard to go through while your in high school but I've been pushing through it and have so much advice of my own. I made a recovery wall of inspirational quotes that are POSITIVE and not pro anorexia/bulimia and pictures of healthy women. I've also cut the sizes off of my clothes just so it doesn't bother me as much as it could. Keep up the blogs, they're really inspiring and powerful. Stay strong!
Wow! Your recovery wall sounds incredible! That's soooo amazing! Such good advice for the world to know about! Thank you for sharing about that. I might have to do something like that myself. I am especially inspired by quotes myself. What are some of the ones you have? High school is a tough place to be in general...so keep up your own strength!!!
since bullimics typically get enough kcals (due to consuming a large amount of food, even if they purge), and aren't at high risk of dying due to malnutrition....do they still make you gain weight during recovery as they would with an anorexic? or is it more of a focus on preventing purging? and lowering the sense of guilt after a meal?
That's a really good question. To answer using my personal experience, I actually gained a ton of weight from bulimia. So for me actually, I ended up at an unhealthy weight for my height and body and there was a more of a concern that I let go of excess weight accumulated during bulimia. So...to answer your question...
Yes, I think the focus for recovery from bulimia is more on preventing purging and lowering the sense of guilt after a meal. But with any eating disorder, the body weight goal is what is most comfortable and healthful for your body structure (height, bones, etc.). Hope that helps some!
How did you deal with eating right again. I have been trying this for a week with only one purge. I eat small nutrutious meals throughout the day 15oo-2000 calories per day. But I have horrible gas, bloating, diahrea, and constipation. Sometimes even a normal meal i want to throw up because of the discomfort not the calories. Did you go through this?
I absolutely went through this. As brilliant and amazing as the body is, it still takes time to adjust from one habitual behavior to another. For instance, you know how when you have the flu it takes a while to eat anything other than some toast? It's the same sort of deal but on a much larger scale. I feel like I was bloated for a long time. This is not to say that you will be bloated for ages - every body is different.
But even though eating and not purging is healthy and optimal, it is still a shock to the system. Your body is not used to eating small nutritious meals without being purged. But it is like anything else - it takes practice. In time, your stomach and digestive track and body as a whole will get used to your new eating habits. And in time, the gas, bloating, etc. will go away.
You are doing wonderful work. Even now, after a few years of recovery, drinking a grande soy chai latte can feel like a Thanksgiving meal. You know? These things take time and practice. You are watching your body process the progress. It may not look like it's progress, but it's almost like its detoxing. You know?
I am so very impressed with you; you certainly have the gift of communication...and you seem to be very comfortable with yourself. You come across so 'girl next door'; I can imagine myself having a cup of coffee with you. Pat yourself on the back for your recovery. Thank you for hosting this forum. I'm am the parent of an eating disordered teen and you have helped me feel hopeful on a down day. Blessings!
You are so welcome...and thank you so much for your words. Looking back, I can now see how difficult it was for my mother and father to watch me suffer. But I also know that their unconditional love and support throughout my struggle - despite my often stubbornness to not recover - allowed me to get to the point where I was ultimately ready and willing to make a choice to begin healing and recovering.
I count calories as well - i'v been trying to recover for 9 months after years of anorexia... i only manage about 1000 calories a day and there of a limited number of foods, but im not loosing weight on that - so thats positive i suppose. Little steps.
Its not weight that scares me - its my body changing..i'm 21 an prior to my ED had a large chest and a decent butt (!!!) but i fear just tuning into a blob..i also fear alot of foods for no apparent reason...
Anyway your vblgs are an insperation, its amazing how far you've come and that you want to share your experience of recovery. Its so positive. More hope tha iv seen in sometime!
Hey there. Thanks so much for your comments and sharing your own stories and experiences. I totally know how you feel about being afraid of your body changing. I'm so glad you bring that up - that's something few people ever mention. In fact, until you mentioned it, I totally forgot about those fears myself. I happened to gain a lot of weight from my bulimia.
It has taken a long time to find out what my body is really meant to look like. This may sound easier said than done, but honestly, trust your body. Have faith that it knows how to shape itself to look natural. You will not turn into a blob. That's impossible. Really. But you may have to have patience for your body to fully heal to the point where your natural features can truly shine. I've had to do the opposite in a way.
Trust that just by eating what my body asks for and by doing whatever physical activity it asks for (these days I pretty much only do yoga), the effects of bulimia will begin to go away and my body will look like it wants to. And you know what, it's starting to.
It's starting to look like I'm sure it would have always looked if I never was anorexic or bulimic. So...continue to acknowledge the fears - which you are doing an amazing job of recognizing - and in time, you'll be able to let go of the fears as your body remembers how naturally beautiful it is.
I think it's so great you are blogging about recovery and the struggles you yourself experienced with regards to your own eating disorder. Thanks for being a positive voice out there and for giving back ;)
This helped me so much. I've been struggling all day and pretty much all week with this issue...This really gave me hope. = )
Skatingangel44 10 months ago
@Skatingangel44 Wow. I'm so happy to hear this. Thank you so much for watching. Hang in there. There are so many reasons to have hope...hugs to you!
Cavernchick 10 months ago
@Cavernchick Its been quite some time since I first watched this video but I've thought of it almost every day since. I credit this video with starting my recovery. Everyone always says recovery is possible, but no one would tell me how or why. Your muscle memory comparison continually ran through my mind and gave me hope and what do you know-its true!! That's exactly how it works! I still feel guilty sometimes after eating, but I think I know what "normal" is now. Thank you! You gave me hope!
Skatingangel44 7 months ago
@Skatingangel44 Wow. I am SO moved that you came back to this video after so long, and even more moved and appreciative to hear that its message and content has impacted you after all this time. So glad to hear that things are well! Hugs to you!
Cavernchick 7 months ago
You are gorgeous and fabulous! Thank you! :)
spershall 1 year ago
@spershall Thank YOU! Happy New Year!
Cavernchick 1 year ago
you are so beautiful and cool
grapessss 2 years ago
Thank you!
Cavernchick 2 years ago
your videos are giving me so much hope its making me cry
vandam2711 2 years ago
aw...thank you! be well!!!
Cavernchick 2 years ago
this video helped me alot, i overate on too many sugary snacks today and instead of feeling disgusted and guilty and turning it into a binge and then proceeding to throw up, i just sat at my office desk and worked until the feeling went away. i just had a great dinner and might go have some yyummy dessert. xox
fatgirlslim07 2 years ago
Oh wow. Thank you so much for sharing! Means the world that you watched and shared your experience. I'm so glad that you were able to sit with the feeling...cause exactly...it always will go away. Glad you had a great diner and possibly a yummy dessert! xo!
Cavernchick 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Read Explaining colours to a blind man. Not only will it enlighten many as to what living with a mental illness and an eating disorder is like, it also gives comfort to those sufferers who think there is no hope and that they are alone. It is very informative, sometimes shocking but also very funny in parts. All in all, a good read and highly recommended.
hsttraindriver 2 years ago
Thank you so much for putting this video up. It helped me so much on understanding my own eating disorder. Thank you!!!!!
flyaway3860 3 years ago
You're welcome! Thank you for watching!
Cavernchick 3 years ago
your welcome. i know that i love it when people watch my videos so i might as well watch other people's. and when i crossed this one i just could not not say anything about it. your strength is absolutely amazing to me.
flyaway3860 3 years ago
You are really inspiring. Thanks for your videos. Hugs
FranFromBrazil 3 years ago
Oh i see. I love poetry. I write too. Though most of the time my poetry comes out sad. But I still love to do it and i find it helpful.
dudetteicekat 3 years ago
I wish you the best!
~Kat
dudetteicekat 3 years ago
just keep writing! sad or happy - it is all beautiful and soulful and heartfelt! keep it up no matter what!!! my poetry has gone through SOOO many phases: sad, depressed, angry, happy, political, controversial, boring...all of it. so keep writing and you'll continue to discover all sides of your self!
Cavernchick 3 years ago
ok. will do. thanks :]
dudetteicekat 3 years ago
what are all of those papers on your wall?
dudetteicekat 3 years ago
the papers are poetry. I'm a spoken word poet, and I hung up some of my newer poetry to memorize.
Cavernchick 3 years ago
go get em girl
nmb232 4 years ago
I've been working on my recovery for 3 years now and I'm 17 years old. It's really hard to go through while your in high school but I've been pushing through it and have so much advice of my own. I made a recovery wall of inspirational quotes that are POSITIVE and not pro anorexia/bulimia and pictures of healthy women. I've also cut the sizes off of my clothes just so it doesn't bother me as much as it could. Keep up the blogs, they're really inspiring and powerful. Stay strong!
xvspinklovex 4 years ago
Wow! Your recovery wall sounds incredible! That's soooo amazing! Such good advice for the world to know about! Thank you for sharing about that. I might have to do something like that myself. I am especially inspired by quotes myself. What are some of the ones you have? High school is a tough place to be in general...so keep up your own strength!!!
Cavernchick 4 years ago
since bullimics typically get enough kcals (due to consuming a large amount of food, even if they purge), and aren't at high risk of dying due to malnutrition....do they still make you gain weight during recovery as they would with an anorexic? or is it more of a focus on preventing purging? and lowering the sense of guilt after a meal?
anarkychicago 4 years ago
That's a really good question. To answer using my personal experience, I actually gained a ton of weight from bulimia. So for me actually, I ended up at an unhealthy weight for my height and body and there was a more of a concern that I let go of excess weight accumulated during bulimia. So...to answer your question...
Cavernchick 4 years ago
Yes, I think the focus for recovery from bulimia is more on preventing purging and lowering the sense of guilt after a meal. But with any eating disorder, the body weight goal is what is most comfortable and healthful for your body structure (height, bones, etc.). Hope that helps some!
Cavernchick 4 years ago
How did you deal with eating right again. I have been trying this for a week with only one purge. I eat small nutrutious meals throughout the day 15oo-2000 calories per day. But I have horrible gas, bloating, diahrea, and constipation. Sometimes even a normal meal i want to throw up because of the discomfort not the calories. Did you go through this?
dori115 4 years ago
I absolutely went through this. As brilliant and amazing as the body is, it still takes time to adjust from one habitual behavior to another. For instance, you know how when you have the flu it takes a while to eat anything other than some toast? It's the same sort of deal but on a much larger scale. I feel like I was bloated for a long time. This is not to say that you will be bloated for ages - every body is different.
Cavernchick 4 years ago
But even though eating and not purging is healthy and optimal, it is still a shock to the system. Your body is not used to eating small nutritious meals without being purged. But it is like anything else - it takes practice. In time, your stomach and digestive track and body as a whole will get used to your new eating habits. And in time, the gas, bloating, etc. will go away.
Cavernchick 4 years ago
You are doing wonderful work. Even now, after a few years of recovery, drinking a grande soy chai latte can feel like a Thanksgiving meal. You know? These things take time and practice. You are watching your body process the progress. It may not look like it's progress, but it's almost like its detoxing. You know?
Cavernchick 4 years ago
thank you so much for your excellent advice! i hope your right. i will contiue to watch your videos you've helped so much. :)
boredloner 4 years ago
I am so very impressed with you; you certainly have the gift of communication...and you seem to be very comfortable with yourself. You come across so 'girl next door'; I can imagine myself having a cup of coffee with you. Pat yourself on the back for your recovery. Thank you for hosting this forum. I'm am the parent of an eating disordered teen and you have helped me feel hopeful on a down day. Blessings!
zerisenheit 4 years ago
You are so welcome...and thank you so much for your words. Looking back, I can now see how difficult it was for my mother and father to watch me suffer. But I also know that their unconditional love and support throughout my struggle - despite my often stubbornness to not recover - allowed me to get to the point where I was ultimately ready and willing to make a choice to begin healing and recovering.
Cavernchick 4 years ago
I count calories as well - i'v been trying to recover for 9 months after years of anorexia... i only manage about 1000 calories a day and there of a limited number of foods, but im not loosing weight on that - so thats positive i suppose. Little steps.
Its not weight that scares me - its my body changing..i'm 21 an prior to my ED had a large chest and a decent butt (!!!) but i fear just tuning into a blob..i also fear alot of foods for no apparent reason...
lilkel86 4 years ago
Anyway your vblgs are an insperation, its amazing how far you've come and that you want to share your experience of recovery. Its so positive. More hope tha iv seen in sometime!
lilkel86 4 years ago
Hey there. Thanks so much for your comments and sharing your own stories and experiences. I totally know how you feel about being afraid of your body changing. I'm so glad you bring that up - that's something few people ever mention. In fact, until you mentioned it, I totally forgot about those fears myself. I happened to gain a lot of weight from my bulimia.
Cavernchick 4 years ago
It has taken a long time to find out what my body is really meant to look like. This may sound easier said than done, but honestly, trust your body. Have faith that it knows how to shape itself to look natural. You will not turn into a blob. That's impossible. Really. But you may have to have patience for your body to fully heal to the point where your natural features can truly shine. I've had to do the opposite in a way.
Cavernchick 4 years ago
Trust that just by eating what my body asks for and by doing whatever physical activity it asks for (these days I pretty much only do yoga), the effects of bulimia will begin to go away and my body will look like it wants to. And you know what, it's starting to.
Cavernchick 4 years ago
It's starting to look like I'm sure it would have always looked if I never was anorexic or bulimic. So...continue to acknowledge the fears - which you are doing an amazing job of recognizing - and in time, you'll be able to let go of the fears as your body remembers how naturally beautiful it is.
Cavernchick 4 years ago
I think it's so great you are blogging about recovery and the struggles you yourself experienced with regards to your own eating disorder. Thanks for being a positive voice out there and for giving back ;)
iwantathinnerme 4 years ago