Boston Globe Tailors Print Edition For Three Remaining Subscribers

[JonathanHallShow]

Word Jumble: Satan Walks Among Us; You Are Not Satan Are You. XD

[tennisace12100]

i dont know how these people can say all of this shit without laughing. I was balling!



[TysweetMusic]

Velociraptor for sure

[SuperNostalgic]

"Boy's wish for flying car fulfilled for 3.4 seconds" LOL

[GigawingsVideo]

I laugh so hard at the news about the kid who wish for flying cars.

"HOLD ON TIGHT TIMMY!"

[Arteia]

Stegosaurus is the most awesome dinosaur.

[blindthrall]

@Arteia Ha! Google Achillobator. It's an enormous Mongolian raptor that would make Stegosaurus piss itself.

[vgb42222]

a friend of mine told me he cant read and never learned because he wants to save trees.

[bman462]

parasauralophus

[dumoulin11]

the Spinosaur is the most awesome dinosaur

[Chibikyon13]

The freeking raptor is the most awesome dinosaur!!! XD

[Inediblehulk]

I mean Kyra Phillips. Whoops. Hope that IS her name...

[Inediblehulk]

I had to watch this twice because I was dumbfounded by how well this woman does Kiera Knightley! Couldn't hear words, just very familiar tones. All the Onion actors are pretty spot on, but this may take the cake!

[Inediblehulk]

@muffinman9311 A T. Rex killed my uncle just for looking at him funny. One punch. Didn't even eat him. Gave him to some scrawny, homeless Allosaur out of pity, if I remember correctly. Then boned my aunt and rode off in his Camarro blasting Deep Purple. THAT'S what was so special about T. Rex!

[muffinman9311]

Allosaurus is the most awesome dinosaur period. T-Rex is way overrated. Tell me what's so special about a t Rex. It didn't actually kill anything it just ate what others had killed.

[green4strings]

Ok, WHAT?! I go to Newton High School and we ARE putting on a stage performance of Annie!!! WTF?!

[Killumanatic]

Sadly what they say about the Chicago Tribune isn't that far off from the truth

[FathomLordKarathr]

hey im a subscriber for the boson globe

[LuniaVideo]

@FathomLordKarathr Congrats #4! :o

[TimeQueenofRome]

I have a subscription to the Washington Post. I really like how they deliver me my news on hot fluffy pancakes with a side of bacon. I think I am supposed to absorb the newstrients that are in those Washington Postcakes.

[78UNKNOWN]

I am wondering who at the Globe pissed The Onion off

[CrashtUnBurned]

Beware, The Homosexual Agenda is Coming

I loved that Jumble. XD

[yogeedogee]

Don't wear white, if you read the Boston Globe. The black ink stains are permanent.

[TheLastBaroness]

I want a news pancake. D:

[ptboi42]

@TheLastBaroness Dont we all? xD

[Trademark888]

That is so awesome!

[holonat]

the fluffy pancake news is a great idea lol XD

[NahyanChowdhury]

hilarious

[BensCrazyVideos]

ok, how the FUCK do they come up with this shit...

[bbphnix]

@BensCrazyVideos obviously because of the internet... that's where they got their inspiration.... you know, I do wonder, what will be the fate of newspapers given the internet, the TV, the Radio, the efforts to stop cutting trees?

[SgtHydra]

T-Rex is clearly the most awesome dinosaur.

Clearly.

[zosko1]

@SgtHydra I like the one with a stone on its tale

[bbphnix]

@zosko1 you mean ankylosaur? OMGOSH..... the one with the stone in its tale... do some research and know some things about dinosaurs....

[NavinJohnson90]

@SgtHydra Utahraptor is cooler.

[SgtHydra]

@NavinJohnson90 Utahraptor only wishes it were as cool as T-Rex.

[tailgunner2]

Pancake newspapers, hell yeah! Sure, the article will make me sick to my stomach, but Goddamn it will go down good with some pure maple syrup!

Oh, and Mass rules! Go red sox!

[TheOverItFellow]

lol - at 0:28 - "New Librarian Less Strict About People Sleeping at Tables"

[Censorshipisbullshi]

lold hard

[Louisdagod3]

lol at the Satan jokes

[ForceRecon198]

Boy's wish for flying car fulfilled for 3.4 seconds.- best quote ever.

[TheArchon1]

Leoplaridon is the best sea dinosaur and Utah Raptor is the best land dinosaur. But my fav is Dilophosaurus

[Bidmartinlo]

Ooook... twisted.

[wblstudios]

Newspaper pancakes.

FUCK YES.

[10verNothin]

the ptera whatever it's called. =)

flying dinosaurs

[ForceRecon198]

@10verNothin pteradactyl? those things are badass.

[ItsHeroXJ]

"Head quarters now located in the back of a Honey Dew"

.....lol. Best Donut shop ever!

[tctheunbeliever]

Yah, right, dude....tthe velociraptor may be the most wicked dinosaur, but the most awesome has to be the T-Rex. Totally.

[paerarru]

"all Beyonce photos and coupons format" xD

newspapers = fucked

[ezelouie]

Well velociraptor is by far the most awesome dinosaur.

[dohboi214]

LMAO @ "Pfizer merges with Price Pfister to corner market on silent P's"

[WeEatBrainz]

The onion is back! Thes new episodes r epic

[HAMBONE8356068]

This is fantastic - what a great way to start the day. Great writing...

[bigbandmedia]

Man, I LOVE sarcasm!

[m3n3t3k3l]

What if newspapers were tailored to fit a person's needs? It's possible.

[thor9754]

ROFL...

i love you onion... don't ever change. keep up the good work.

you're a lone sane voice in a an increasingly crazy world...

[OtterMilitia]

Haha, there's a coupon for Eastern Mountain Sports on the fake chicago tribune... there's no Eastern Mountain Sports in Chicago. Watch your ass Onion, I'm onto you.

[chiyerano]

@Vidwatcher321 Even though that may be, that still doesn't stop them from wanting to make more money by charging their viewers.

[DrewFaron]

I love the Onion. Their shit is too funny. Check out "Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards for Skanks? on their website.

[opaz79]

in europe the mainstream media is working to enforce publishing license to write any opinion on the internet complete with internet identification incase youre writing something that is considered politically incorrect and against mainstream views.

[Judothrow5]

Press F5 to skip ads, unless it's a Google ad.

[nozerty]

"Sean Hannity takes medical leave after spraining muscle that cocks eyebrow in mock surprise." This shit is great!

[brandonplaysguitar16]

I don't know where this news station gets its "facts", but I am a subscriber to the Boston Globe, and know many other people who are also.

[nipplash]

@brandonplaysguitar16 It's called satire.

[RakkaRakkaRocket]

@brandonplaysguitar16 hahahahaha whoooosh over your head.

[mrfletcherfindon]

@brandonplaysguitar16 retard

[78topper]

@brandonplaysguitar16

I dont know what is funnier, the fact that you did not get that this was satire, or the fact that you really do still subscribe to the Globe.

Somehow I tihnk the two things are related.

[Brrnout]

@78topper

It's odd how no one gets these videos. Everyone thinks it's real xD Funny as shit!!

[icepickmeetstemple]

@brandonplaysguitar16

Calm down, grandpa. No need to get your Depends all in a bunch.

[ErikPetrovich]

Best vids evar

[lydiad452]

lol i thought this was real for a second then i seen it was by the onion lol

[kroovyandcal]

That's what quality target marketing is all about

[SameeSunshine]

preeeeetty sure the Utah Raptor is the most awesome dinosaur.

[TheOverItFellow]

Say aye if you would do that newsreader (in real life, of course). The Onion cracks me up.

[sigma20xx]

So when are we going to get that report on which dinosaur is the most awesome?

[FredThaSlayer]

@deeemm13 The compsognathus

[DoctorWeeTodd]

I laughed, then remembered my city doesn't carry the Onion anymore.

Then I started crying.

[TheOverItFellow]

@DoctorWeeTodd

Hey, we don't get any here across the pond. I feel sadder.

[supermanXL]

rest in peace news papers

[GreeceOTOT]

which is the most awesome dinosour hahaha

[Datadog]

Go Styracosaurus!

[javari]

LOL 35 subscribers it says. at the time of this post there are 36 dislikes. Must be the subscribers!

[linkinfan12]

@javari +1

[newguy90]

Recent Onion reports have stopped being funny and are now just depressing.

[seedling3]

At 1:32-1:37... SATAN WALKS AMONG US and YOU ARE NOT SATAN ARE YOU... backwards.

[concrete852]

@seedling3 Yeah! Good eye!

[MrZaces]

@seedling3 there's a pentacle there too

[InformationPollution]

I like The Onion.

It reminds me that the world is a place filled with strife and weakness.

[Flyborg]

I wasn't aware that the debate about which was the most awesome dinosaur had actually been settled. The crowd favourite is T-rex but he's so mainstream nowadays, I've gotta favour an underdog like stegosaurus.

[unltd679]

Next at science news:New evidence is challenging traditional views on which is the most awesome dinosaur !

[Gilgamesh32]

I, I love you onion.

[wreckgar86]

Did anyone notice the answers to the jumble at 1:33?

Satan walks among us

and

You are not satan are you

[FireBenderKwyna]

Lol, which is the most awesome dinosaur!!!

[ryanatatlantis]

Andrea Bennett! We haven't seen you in forever!

She is definitely my favorite newscaster for the Onion :)

[Yyyyzyyy]

I cannot believe that this newspaper is even still in business. They only have three subscribers? How can it be profitable for them? It's hard to believe that they even bother to stick around.

[ryanatatlantis]

@Yyyyzyyy lol just so you know, the Onion is a satirical news source, all of their stories are fake.

[QuintonCharles]

@Yyyyzyyy Please tell me you're joking.

[shakalocco]

@Yyyyzyyy :)))))

[Harusama]

LMAO at the jumble! xD

[davyjames]

Which is the most awesome dinosaur?

[Kojackjunior]

lol the jumble backwards is satan walks among us: You are not satan are you at 1:34

[UndeadTheta]

I'm surprised the Boston Globe hasn't filed for bankruptcy or something yet, considering how there is no demand for their newspapers.

[Raklryja]

one of the benefits of knowing the onion is fake is making yourself feel smarter by going to essentially every onion vid and seeing the dumbasses who think its real

[JaysThoughts]

Fucking ads. Nevermind then. UNSUBSCRIBE.

[revizcaino]

ok this is fake, right????

[gamecrazy132]

@revizcaino correct

[Delta4845]

@revizcaino This is the onion...

So, no.

[elilla331]

@revizcaino

Nope it's real. 100% real, with a side of fluffy pancaked news and a side of bacon in the morning. Being delivered to your door, piping hot and bristling at 6am.

[pixbyeli]

@elilla331 hahahaha

[veryboredpug]

@revizcaino Yea, it is, everyone knows the Boston Globe only has two readers...:/

[adarkenedmind]

@revizcaino do you really think a newspaper would still be in business if it had only 3 readers?

[sboss]

@e4gail 3.4 you dumb shit.

[e4gail]

@sboss I can tell you are a well adjusted mature individual.

[sboss]

@e4gail i can tell you can't properly quote something that you just watched.

[SoldierCyfix]

lol we can easily sell 1 copy there

[paddyoshea55]

what is the most awesome dinosaur?

[SilotSho]

so which IS the most awesome dinosaur?

[pnqlbud]

lol at "The O'Reilly Factor Has Been Good This Week" 1:42

[RichoRosai]

Wait... how can they afford to pay all that staff they mentioned even if theres only three people

[karinaproduction]

lmaoooooo 1:05

"pedophile stood up"

[Gunriffun9mm]

Velociraptor = the most awesome dinosaur.

Wonderful satire on the current and future standing of newspaper.

[STAINILIIEY]

Hmmmm Which is the most awesome dinosaur?.....gee this is tough one. 

[BenjaminMJ]

Next up: New evidence is challenging traditional views on which is the most awesome dinosaur...

[cgraham1930]

did anybody solve the jumble?

[GyroscopesAndInfared]

@cgraham1930 you are not satan are you satan walks among us

its just backwards

[rhubarbcub]

@cgraham1930

I did!

[rpm2004]

@cgraham1930 One of them was "Satan walks among us" and the second one had the right number of spaces but they were in the wrong place, the best I could figure it was either "you are not satan, are you?" or "are you not satan? you are!"

[Samanthac24]

Yes dark angel. I do :[

[mel102892]

lmao "everyone in oregon shows up to work wearing the same outfit"

[dropintospace]

good one

[GingerIndustries]

Oh my God I love The Onion.

[UnstoppableSlinky]

LOL MY NAME IS TOM MCNULTY

I was freaking out for a second

[invisiblepurple]

HAHAHAHA the newspaper on pancakes would be the best invention ever!!!!!!!!!!

[yoyojumpy]

"Satan Walks Among Us"

lol

[TearD6]

Also, does anyone else find it ironic that a story on Michelle Obama's childhood obesity guidelines is printed on those pancakes? (>_>)

[pyrofate]

@TearD6 hahaahah good eyes man

[TearD6]

"Pfizer merges with Price Pfister to corner market on silent P's."

(^.^) OK...I admit, this headline floored me...They REALLY should do actual stories on some of these newsflashes!

[mogwai4000]

Scotland really is beautiful this time of year...

[leeo268]

Where is my personalize international news? I just unsub Washington post and sub TheOnion, At least TheOnion have Real news that other paper are too scare to report!

[IamMaximilianKohler]

sick.

[redghost105]

so has theonion decided to start broadcasting real stuff?

hahaa

[soulofmen]

"Boy's wish for flying car fulfilled for 3.4 seconds" lol

Those 'Still Ahead' previews are always awesome lol

[yeshevishman]

I don't like this so much since I read the glob. (You tend to do that when you live in MA)

[savocado]

2:14 xD

[ThePepsiSyndrome]

This explains so much.

[fatstax79]

Utah raptor. A giant raptor close to the size of a T-rex that was discovered in the mid 90s.

[mastersirk]

@fatstax79 It can't fly, that's why I prefer the Archeopteryx.

[metalisbetter1o00]

What's a newspaper?

[NotThat3]

@metalisbetter1o00 It's like a really bad blog.

[metalisbetter1o00]

@NotThat3 Do you have a link?

[dabears11694]

@metalisbetter1o00 a blanket

[deputydoggy]

@metalisbetter1o00 wow are you living in africa or something?

[F33bs]

@deputydoggy Nah, I think he was just making a joke about the unpopularity of newspapers nowadays. 

[shambayati195]

fuck ads.

[vash4me]

@shambayati195

get some:

adblockplus

also greasemonkey + userscriptsDOTorg (for youtube addon)

also the game.

[sicklesickle]

@shambayati195 Fuck ads? How about fuck nevada!

[airborne2201]

@shambayati195

youtube used to be a great site to come to when you wanted quick entertainment unmatched by TV since it had no ads, now that google has taken over the site all they see is dollar signs...why did they have to mess things up...

[m3n3t3k3l]

@airborne2201 I heard Google is losing money thru YouTube. The ads are the only way to keep YouTube out of the toilet. But I've noticed they only put the major ads on popular "mainstream" videos, not my everyday boring shit. Just a thought.

[THEROTATINGFOOT]

nice

[historybook666]

Deinonychus. Fast, deadly, and fierce..

[spacenog]

pterodactyls!!! duh...

[IrisOsirI]

@spacenog R u kiding? It's def the t-rex. Have u nv seen one run with those tiny arms of theirs hanging? It's hilarious and awfully badass >:D

[shadowC10ne]

Jumble section:

"satan walks among us"

"You are not satan are you" xD

[SuperLink517]

@shadowC10ne And off to the side "beware the homosexual agenda is coming" XD

[shadowC10ne]

@SuperLink517 And before that they've put some symbol...I think it's a pyramid with an eye in it and sunrays shooting from a pyramid. ;D

[BizzyDJoe]

I was talking to one of the secretaries at work today about this. She said they still order 3 news papers with a subscription fee totaling $240 a year. Her bosses say they only want it because it makes them look more intelligent to the bigger bosses when they notice it on their desks because they assume they don't get their news from "bloggers". They put in their desk and throw it out at the end of the day. So the newspaper has turned from a valid news source into a political ass kissing tool.

[KidDionysus]

Man, the newspaper business just isn't like how it used to be. I guess it's the spiraling technological revolution matched with our faltering economy. Hopefully the Globe will catch up with The Washington Post with 35 subscribers. Good luck with Newton High!

[pokerstud001]

Who are a 21 motherfuckers who disliked this video?

[psfanboy999]

@pokerstud001 Boston globe subscribers.

[Shirorirozu]

@psfanboy999 But there are only a few subscribers left. They probably made multiple accounts.

[SuperLink517]

@pokerstud001 ohsnaps now it's 2202 likes and 22 dislikes, it's all two's how trippy is that

[happycatthegreat]

@SuperLink517 2244 likes and 24 dislikes O . O This is getting creepy....

[KDALove]

@happycatthegreat There 2245 likes. Now it's better :)

[Kojackjunior]

@pokerstud001 maybe they were confused and thought they were disliking the boston globe

[Mdriver1981]

@pokerstud001, people who work for Boston Globe.

[raininginhell]

@pokerstud001 Boston Globe subscribers ? :P

[thewhitezombie666]

@pokerstud001

the staff of the boston globe

[mrcartoonmusicvideo]

lol print is dead!!!!

make sure you read the trailer at the bottom

[terminator106]

among neal

[chiyerano]

@Vidwatcher321 I'm just afraid that many of these online news websites are going to start charging people to see their information.

[chiyerano]

Just the title on this video alone gets me going. Speaking of pancakes, I'll think I'll have some now.

[chiyerano]

@chiyerano I think rather.