Added: 3 years ago
From: TonyaTko
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  • Why didn't I have a mother like you? You're awesome!

  • This is one of my favorite videos. I listen to this a few times a month!

  • I soooo agree. I see so many girls selling themselves short to a guy who is basically nothing, but just looks good. The guy thrives off of their insecurity.

  • im so over his disrespectful ways and hurtful words, the change in his treatment alone is enough that i find myself crying all the time over small things! i feel negleted and unapprciated, we hang out everyday thats whats normal for us even after fights, i feel like ive lost my self worth, ive lost my respect :( n i dont know how to get it back!! its been a year since our big fight over me wanting a engagment (hes not ready $wise and hes still young) But i stayed n since then i feel like im zero

  • @funnybunni101 Counseling works. Both together and apart. SInce I dont know the full story, Im sure you would benefit from having a neutral professional hear you out & help you work through your pas & your present.

    Good luck my dear. Trouble doesnt last always :)

    -Tko

  • @funnybunni101 Hi Sista, I read your reply and felt so much for you, because, I felt exactly the same way during my relationship..I don't know whether you have seen Tonyas video '7 WAYS TO BE STRONG', but if you haven't PLEASE go and view it..It helped me me, and I know it will help you too...With me, it was like a light suddenly came on in my head and said to me 'ENOUGH'..I wish you luck, and happiness on your journey to self love...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx­xxxxxxxx(all for you)

  • hey tonya, ok i have been with my guy for 5 years, im 24 . B4 our relationship i never knew him, he liked me for 1yr before we dated. we grew really close lovers, bestfriends everything and now its just so sad but we break up n make up everyday, but when i say break up i mean it, we get angryy and big fights and i know he means when he say F off and when i say it i mean it too, but we always keep running back, 3days max im missing him like crazy n same goes for him i just dnt know what to do..

  • tonya i watch this video from time to time when i need a reminder but please remake this video, i love your message but its incredibly distracting watching you do your self maintenance.

  • @OverXposedKC91 lol. You want me to 're-make' the video bcz you dont want to watch me... well then why dont you just play it & listen to the audio?

    *confused*

    LOL

    -Tko

  • You make a lot of good sense. Thanks.

  • just discovered you and i love you=)

  • This is such a great video! and so true...

    My problem is that I know all this, but it´s still very hard to actually behave accordingly, but hearing it from you helps :) thank you!

  • that's right Tanya!!! Most girls don't realize tht the ONLY reason why men are friends with them because he wants to fuck them! Naive GIRLS!!!!!!!!!

  • @RiotGrrrlLogic OH MY Gracious Honey! Why you so angry so early? Who upset you?

    -Tko

  • @TonyaTko Oh goodness don't misinterpret my exclamation points...I watch you and implement your advice to my life and highly respect you. I would love to do a video with you!

  • @TonyaTko I am not upset...I just really believe in your message. I have been watching you for a year or two now I am I really agree with your message; I forward your videos to friends who I feel could benefit and I really respect you.

  • @TonyaTko it was probaby some butthead. i've had my fair share and i''m sick of it too... Love your videos!! They've helped me quit a bit but i've still got such a long way to go :(

  • I love the way you talk, you give such Inspiration to women/men and I am thank-ful for your always Honesty...I feel I have a friend already in You...

  • tonya plz do more of thise type of video, especially for those of us who grew up with emotionaly distant parents

  • @taboolah you can say that again... you can add sheltered in a deeply religious household, no siblings, only girls school going girl with no father and a mother that was always working.. mm hmm

    i <3 u Tonya!!

  • @fuckeries Thanks for this comment, valentines day hence relationship week is coming back up :)

    -Tko

  • thankyou u gave me hope i would like to tell u a little about myself and how to pick the pieces up

  • evn though ur vdos are long..but i love ur vdos

  • @monsurulhoque Youre so sweet. Thank you

    -Tko

  • I love your videos, i have been thru, mostly everything you have talked about, i'm 39 yrs old, and today i can honestly say i feel like i'm all used up, my self worth, feels depleted, i'm angry, bitter, and sad, i sit in a room full of people and i feel alone,,, i have let myself become other peoples stool, i don't know how to get myself back,,,,

  • @raquelwright361 Have you watched any of my videos on self-esteem?

    -Tko

  • I think alot of this applies to men too Tonya. Alot of men don't know their worth or who they are either.

  • oh lala

    so beauty

  • Coconut oil??

  • can we see ur yoga vidz?plzzzz

  • Tonya Tko I really enjoyed this video girll !

  • I agree. You cannot exhibit love to anyone else until you love yourself first. Respect yourself first and only then, will you have anything to offer anyone else.

  • thank you is all i can say because of my mood right now im triffled by 2 guys and one who loves me and one who really likes me, i have let myself get used and abused and it has to do with me feeling like the lowest thing, idk how to change that because ive always had very low self esteem.

  • Girl tell it your very insperational!! I would love for you to talk more about this subjects...

  • God bless u. I have an older sis that sometimes let her man treat her like wateva sometimes..my cousins 2. I made da decision when i was younger not to eva let a guy treat me like wateva

  • I've been with my boyfriend who I love for10 months now - it's starting to feel as if now that he has me, he doesn't want to work on making me happy anymore just as I do him. From other friends who have been in relationships - they say that this is a common thing for couples to go through. I have given myself some space and have stopped contacting him and plan to tell him how I feel when he comes to me. His lack of effort makes me feel insecure about my worth. From an Aussie,20 Any advice?

  • Stop hating on her thats y we get treat like crop because of ppl like u who dont want to listen

  • Right on time Toyna, I found your videos today and I've been through some things in the past and in the present.. and it really helped to hear your words.. coming from a Beautiful black woman as yourself.. I've been fighting with trying to display value in myself and demanding to be treated with that sort of appreciation and respect.. and this helped me feel better about standing up for myself and my heart! Thank you.. !

  • Thank you for telling all the things no one has never told to me... this for me was a break through.... Thank you!

  • (continuation of comment below[sorry]) how to get confidence in yourself and not be shy. How to be really good friends

  • Tonya I am happy that you have a youtube channel because you make me think of life and what is real and what is fake. What you can choose over the bad. Thank you so much.

    could you possibly do a video on how to become friends with guys. For ages 15+ because i d

  • you helped me soooo much.... you are wonderfull, like a big sister..

    lov ya!

  • @cutegirlSondrita exactly like a big sister, its nice :)

  • Wonderful video Tonya! Thank you. May I ask the moisturizer you used on your face? you have great skin!

  • Hello, i'm a young female teen & i'm glad to have watched this video, because it reminded me of the fact that when you don't love yourself no one will love you either..confidence is key, God bless you=)

  • Watching this video made me cry... She's got me feeling like God blessed her just so she could bless me! & i'm very disappointed that no one had told me about Tonya & that i'm just now finding out who she was. Where was she when i was going through in 2007. But i'm glad I found her now. I'm ready for my revamp!!

  • Awe hunny... well (((hug-hug))) Dont you fret, well you found me now... and I have a whole playlist of self-help inspirational videos. So just check the playlist on my page bay

    -Tko

  • Tantric sex is fun too!

  • this really touched me! I know my worth but my physical is trying to doubt it. In highschool I had a sexy curvy body and ever since I went to college I have gained about 20 pounds. I dont know who I am anymore even though I know I am in the same inside. I try so hard to workout but something always intefers. Can you make a video about weight issues please.That would be great

    Xoxo, Jay

  • Ok Jay, but what type of video about weight issues? Addressing what?

    -Tko

  • A weight video addressing how hard society makes women to want to be skinny. Anorexia/Bulimia. The difference between skinny, thick, chubby, fat. When it's time to exercise for your health (alot of ppl are proud about their weight but when is the right time to start exercising)

    Relationships: if your boyfriend/husband starts having problems with your weight.

    Motivation to start working out.

  • wow.

    just wow.

    have you seen the color purple? the movie or the broadway show orrr read the book? if you haven't... this is a MUST for you! you kind of made me think of it. just letting you know and i hope you get this!

    xoK

  • It a shame that so many sista sell themselves short, one night stand and sleeping with more than one man at a time, these are all the traits of a women who thinks she has no value. If you can see ahead you can be ahead

  • tonya you really are an inspiration— definitely soothed me down after an angry day of work dealing nothing with perverted male customers. bless xx

  • Has any woman on here seen The Joy Luck Club?

  • i love your videos!

  • wow ur so like unbelievable i have watched almost all ur videos and visited ur site i even added you on facebook...you have a talent and thank you for sharing it with us...God Bless You.

  • i so love this video thanks for the advice we as people can find 1000 negative words to say but not 1 positive and why are some women so in denial like they didnt need to hear this some it must have hit right in the face lettin these men treat ya like crap and then gon leave a comment like yea other women need to hear this and they are the first on the listen. I can use this in my tips for the day thanks u are so inspiring

  • You kind of remind me of my mom in this video, she would totally be giving me this talk while she was getting ready for the day.

  • Tottaly love you....could watc you all day long. Mwah!

  • Comments like that are precisely why there are women who need to hear this, and if you want a woman like that, I suggest you go find a nice little hooker for yourself.

  • This is a beautiful message I wish many more can hear this.

  • Your a beautiful person!

  • You are so right and women need to hear this. I am so glad you talked about it. Thank you.

  • Thank you for this video.

  • Comment removed

  • Great Vid and your voice is nice to listen to

  • it's sooo peaceful listening & watching you!

  • you just a real women..i love you 4real any man who got you lucky..

  • A wonderful example of being real and raw. Brilliant incorporation of being physically and emotionally raw. A full dimension of our feelings as human beings.

    Thank you for tapping in to that and sharing it with the rest of us. Great connection.

    :)

  • you are such a wonderful person

  • Preach, that was wonderful advice.

  • I like how you kept it real and got yourself ready while you were giving this talk. Very top notch! Very real! This is where discussions happen. This was real.

  • Tonya, you don't know how much this video and your words helped me to catapult me further into seeking a support group for what I'm going through now. :) You're a great friend and I love you for it...even though this video isn't just for me. :)

  • is that the shea butter?

  • WHERE YA HOMIETTAS

  • girl i cried listening to this vid and the last one. there was so much stuff that i did not know. i really thank you, your a blessing, and i cant wait until the next vid. i have a song called "am i worth it: i want you to listen to it its for the females, do you have an email address ?

    -thx

  • your awesome! :)

  • Tonya,

    I agree with you wholeheartedly on this video, but what if it's your family members that treat you poorly or bring nothing but negativity to the table? Common sense would dictate that you wouldn't allow anyone negative, family or not ,to mistreat you but we're always taught this crap about blood being thicker than water. No one will love you more than your family.What do you think? Would you please consider doing a video that addresses this topic?

    Thanks!

  • Look on my page for the playlist for inspirational words... .or do a search thru my vids w/the keyword I HAT MY CHILD

    I did a video addressing this

    -Tko

  • Tonya,

    Thanks for referring me to that video( I Hate My Child). It is a great help. The message in that video is a blessing for people of all ages. : ) A person shouldn't tolerate any mistreatment. No matter what type of relationship it is, family or not, you can't go chasing after people who don't love and respect you. Either they do or they don't. Thanks for posting these wonderful videos!!

  • i had to watch this again because it has touched my soul and it's all about self love

  • well sometimes both men and women just think with their genitals and mistake it for their heart. Hollywood has a little to do with this as well... I'm not from america but with the divorce rate as high as it is. It is no wonder we aren't thinking about a relationship (healthy).

  • I'm so moved by this video. I feel loved! Thank you, my heart appreciates it.

  • You have very beautiful skin.

  • ANOTHER GOOD VIDEO! So much has happened to the sisters that she doubts her very POWER. The power that nurtures and gives like to ALL ON THE PLANET! No matter what anyone especially a man tells you sisters YOU ARE WORTH WHATEVER YOUR HEART DESIRES!!

    Yes TKO people always try to define black women. Or women period. This society loves to tell a women her place. Ladies WE are the FIRST TEACHERS! We teach Everyone how to treat us! DONT SETTLE!

  • respEct

  • Hi haters! hey Tonya ,I love your videos, you speak the truth, plus your a str8 up person, keep it up and keep it real , thank you ma

  • i celebrate the birth of jesus, we teach that gift giving it part of christmas.....not the commercial part. we dont do easter bunny or tooth fairy. i still like your page and the pic on website are excellent, but you comment was rude with the open your eyes and i dont care what you do comments....be safe and if you can do a show on all these young girls dancing half naked on youtuve...that needs to stop.

  • Woow valentine day is a womans holiday...what book you got out of?the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, presenting flowers, or offering confectionery. The holiday is named after two among the numerous Early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.

  • If not participating in non-religious holidays is IMPORTANT to YOU, then YOU should pay attention to EARLY warning signs of these potential problems and choose a diff. mate. That way this is one less conflict. But if you're only against it bcz your woman is FOR it theres a problem. But thats a problem YOU have to deal with personally. I am out of that loop. Ur talking 2the wrong person. I don't believe in all of the marketing traps & tactics for NIETHER Valentine's day NOR Christmass.

    -Tko

  • "the subconscience doesn't have a sense of humor" It's true! I'm glad you said that.

  • Speak!!!

  • Thanks so much <3 I wish i had seen a video with this advice years ago haha. I will definitely relay this advice to everyone!

  • Comment removed

  • I have a question...how the heck do you NOT break out after:

    using hair products--->then using body lotion on your arms---->back to putting face lotion on?! Dang, man. I wash my hands like a surgeon in between grooming products. lol

    Awesome video Tonya, really. It just makes sense. You are so sweet, too :)

  • LOL! All of my products are all natural. The stuff I was putting on my hair was all natural jojoba oil with no chemicals or perfumes added to it. Jojoba is also good for the skin. I was putting a scentless hydroxy acid lotion on my face, then pure all natural unrefined vitamin E.... which is also good for the hair ;-)

    See the trick is getting back to nature. Im testing these products out, soon as I got the formula I will be presenting it to you all. Trust and believe :)

    -TKO

  • Real Talk, Tonya!!!!! Real Talk....

  • Amen...I totally agree with you! more women should listen to this advice

  • i have my husband looking at your video,he is distracted by your dressing he left the room for awhile and come back ask if u take anything else off,

    great content , women need this info

  • aw this was great, ur words have touched my life, love it!

  • Thoughts are things, words are power, actions are authority...

    Ones expectations create ones reality...

  • HAHAHA STOPING liberating THE WOMEN!!!!!!!!!

  • good video

  • Great video I

  • Tony PREACH I never had female friends that call me slut, ho or bitch. Its not normal and women really need to stop that it shows lack of respect

  • i need to remember what you said (seriously.)

  • Awl sookie sookie!

    Godess tantra yoga?

    Lawd Frenchy gets friendly with others...lol

    I knew it!

    (I can't wait for you to get Kinky!)

    respect

  • I don't know why but alot of women don't like it when you treat them well but I think women desire what they shouldn't have I think its programmed into alot of women. I've had more success with women when i don't treat them right rather than being nice. JUST MY EXPERIENCE ,DON'T KILL ME FOR IT YALL.

  • I think maybe women feel like men who act like they don't need them are going to be the partner with the better genes. It's messed up, but I see it all the time, and I'm a woman. It has to start changing, as far as our idea that someone who is fitter and healthier equals us submitting to this notion of lesser treatment is okay. So I do believe you've probably had more success this way, sad but true.

  • I was just getting ready to do a video about this entitled "Be hard to get!"

    You rock, great minds think alike

    -Tko

  • i did a video on this a while ago check it out luv

  • I know my worth and that is probably why I am still not married yet

  • First off...You are so beautiful!!!!!! Second STOP! You're making me feel like poop! Because I need to hear this...Love you girl.

  • This video and the last one... hmmmmm how should I say this... PURE GOLD...

    Excellence yet again Ms TKO !

  • BRAVO! Thanks for this vid! I jus broke up with someone that I didnt think was worthy of my love. I was questioning myself until I watched this vid. Thanks again Tonya! Luv u!

  • lmfao if i bought a merceds for 25 cents id hook dat mug up lol , jk jk but yeah woman tend to like to get dogged out for some reason , some girl told me she was pregnant , just so id break up with her lol , and her reason after i got to the root was because i was treating her good lol , wdf , i guess some woman need a black eye to feel loved .

  • My name's Crystal. I'm 16 and I just got out of a relationship with this boy who took advantage of my low self esteem.

    This is the 1st time I'm watching one of your videos and I seriously started to cry because it heavily related to my problem. It's always been hard for me to see myself as beautiful, smart, etc. because I have such low confidence. Your video really made me open up my eyes and if I were to ever meet you in the future, I'd give you the huggest huge I could ever possibly give.

  • Thank you! Please don't stop talking about this issue or others concerning young women such as myself because this really spoke to me and I needed to hear it you have no idea.

  • Okay sweetheart I will.

    :)

    -Tko

  • Amen, Amen, and Amen. Well said. Women are works of art and should be treated as such. :^) Your a joy to listen to. enjoy the rest of your weekend~

  • women will always go for guys who treat them like shit & will always overlook the good guys, its always been like that, I dont think it will ever change

    Tonya u should try explain why this is

  • Dont worry I will... this one I can speak to both men and women as we are all guilty of this

    -Tko

  • I loved this video. Plz keep making more on these topics for the ladies.

  • I love you Tonya TKO but I just noticed your videos and style are very similar to LoveBScott's.

    From your laugh to the towel to the fact that you say Lovebirds and he says Love Muffins. Since he's been posting longer than you, I wonder were you inspired by LoveBScott?

  • LOL@illlum... the moment I start dancing in videos you can ask me if I'm Imitating B scott :)

    -Tko

  • True ;-))

  • I am aware of that wolfie and thats what i thought, i was just making a point is all P:D

  • Let me say first that i LOVE your vids, you are an amazing woman :D however... I have strong objections to the fact that you say "men will do this to you and that to you" and do not say SOME men, implying we all are equally evil, which is false... now once again i am not dissing you, i just wished to bring that up because as a romantic guy myself it honestly hurts my heart when women decide that all guys will be evil if given the chance... anyway love ya gurl xoxo

  • I gave that disclaimer before the last video. Should I do the disclaimer before every video. Okay. Next time.

    -Tko

  • Happy belated valentines day,because you truly are loved by many

  • ur so hot, :p

  • You are sooo beautiful.....

  • like i said

    not every woman is a queen

    they might think they are

    but they aren't

    and there for doesn't deserv to be treated like a queen

  • But once you find your worth ladies, I promise you that you will NOT let a man or ANYONE treat you without respect. Without Love, or without the gentleness you deserve.

  • I like your style Tonya, you give us some courage. You are beautiful as you are!Thanks for the message.

  • YES, Preach IT! I Do Not Understand These Women Who Will Take Care Of Men, Let Men Move In With Them All Around There Children. SOME Women Want A Man So Bad In There Bed, In There Life That They Will Take Anything And Make Excuse After Excuse For Him. It's So Very Sad!

  • hiya. your videos mean alot . ive gota problem this boy had as a girlfriend but hes texting me telling me he likes me.

    i like him but i dont know what to do .

    he says he wants to me do things with him.but i dont know if he is juust useing me :S

  • Great video! You shouldn't put cream on your eye lids as the skin there is too delicate.

  • me and my dime lady worth too much 4 the world... internal external.... =\

  • another great video

  • good point at the 9 min mark

  • Worth comes from external judgments.

  • Thank you so much for this video.I needed to hear this.You are truly a blessing.

  • This is something I needed to hear right now. I really, really appreciate you making this video. Sometimes I don't feel pretty enough or like I'm even worth anything. I'm always the one saying "why me". But you have shown me that I'm worth alot more than I think and I thank you for that;)

  • Thanks for sharing your knowledge Tonya. I love watching your vids.

  • Miss TKO are you single, married, dating?

  • I needed this. Love you tonya!! I am so excited to get my shea butter.... I'm not rushing you either... Just excited about all the positivity that you are spreading.... You make me remember what I'm worth and how fabulous I am!

  • You Rock girl!

  • You hit the nail on the head. We all must know self worth otherwise society will dictate who you are.

  • You KnowJust Two Days Ago, I Had A Conversation About My Worth With A New Guy Friend Of Mine...As Much As That Helped, This Helped A Lot More Being That I Never Thought If Myself As Anything Then Just A Mat. So Thank You So Much For Giving That Boost To Remember That I Am More Then A Mat :D

  • You're welcome Yuki

    -Tko

  • I needed this

  • @ blkwomen101: Well, Tonya did not say ALL men. Of course there are plenty of men out there who really would care for a woman if given a chance. I am happy for you if you have found the one for you.I don't see that Tonya seperates women from men. She just encourages women to take a step back and think about and accept their own value and act upon it.

  • your reply was very mature and appreciated. I see it diffrent with all due respect. Women vaules depends on her family. when a women becomes a good wife and mother that is when her worth is measured. (benz) lol

  • @blkwomen101: Well, we all have different opinions and that is absol. alright. I don't understand what you mean by that a woman's value depens on her family. In my opinion the value of any human being depends on true and honest actions. Be it a man or a woman. My understanding is that only through an independant knowledge of her own worth a woman can be a good friend, wife and mother.

  • Comment removed

  • I love myself. I would never get half naked on camera infront of a bunch of men. My WORTH is much more than that. This is so hypocritical coming from you Tonya. Self respect is one of my worth!

  • @101. See you and I differ in that I do not think nudity is disgraceful, or disgusting or shameful, or vile, ugly, hideous or negative. I think as humans we are beautiful. A lot of what we learn in the church teaches us to stifle and reject our natural essences and inclinations and become ashamed of what is natural, good and normal. I'm glad u unsubbed. A stuffy closeminded person like you has no place here. Good luck with your man. I hope you find someone just as frigid as u or he'll cheat

    TKO

  • LOL@BlkWomen101!

    Seriously

    LMAO!

    peace

    -Tko

  • Tonya you make a valid point, sometimes the way our fathers' treat us determines what type of men we choose. My father died when I was 2 yrs. old. I have a strong feeling if he didn't die i would've chosen more wisely and he might have seen through some of the men that came into my life. We should treat ourselves the way we would want our daughter/grand-daughter to be treated. Alot of us put up with behavior that we would not want our childrent to put up with.

  • This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thanks Tonya <3

  • Oh dear, Tonya. You scare me because these last two videos fit my situation so well. Have to say that I love you for that. You're awesome. Keep it up.