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From: jpmetz
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  • I hope these are your real opinions about the travesty that is the horrible twilight crap series, that's exactly how I feel about all of it. Just fucking awful. Honestly, regardless of all of the massive plot holes and sugar coated outcomes, I could never take twilight seriously because firstly the vampires sparkle... fucking SPARKLE... and secondly, who the hell would want to be a high school kid forever?!

  • I will admit that I did like the first book of the series-only because I loved Alice, Jasper, and Jacob because I thought they had the most depth than "God-like" Edward and "hormonal" Bella Swan...All the other books afterward was horrid and so downright confusing, stupid, and stuffed with Meyer's contradictions. That aside, In my opinion, the YA section has downsized so much over the past couple years-it just makes me weep for literature. :/

  • Comment removed

  •  BITCH

  • lol @ everyone fighting in the comments .

  • Haha!! You're really funny XD

  • You sound like Donna from that 70's show.

  • Interview with the Vampire (Ann Rice) is far superior to Twilight. Watch the Claudia and Louis transformation clips on You Tube. Now that's a modern vampire story.

  • OMG, I just watche Breaking Dawn and this review nails it. This review is way more interesting than the movie. It goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that Bella is finally changed into a vampire at the end, Her blood red vampire eyes open for a split second. Now we're supposed to wait until Pt. 2 to see what the rest of her vampire self looks like? PASS.

    If a vampire doesn't sleep in a coffin and bite someone on the neck he isn't a vampire.

  • I so feel like watching it now....... I LOVE SHITTY MOVIES, pure laughter

  • TWILIGHT SUCKS

  • I am a huge Twihard....and found this hilarious. You nailed it girl.

  • Lmao .. "go join the hockey team or something... just go away." You're hysterical. xx

  • I am a complete Twilight fan. But even I found this amusing.

  • That's why its called FICTION. Twilight fan all the way!!

  • this video single handedly just made my entire life.

  • i just download one of your newest podcasts advice annex 58

  • You do realize it's a work of fiction with vampires and werewolves? both of which do not exist. Incredulity over one side of the congregation not noticing the other are vampires is a rather mute point in such a film.

  • @zaftra actually people's reactions to things are supposed to normal no matter what ''made up'' situation you have in the movie or you run the risk of people saying it sucks...a big reason this series gets so much hate is the unrealistic way the characters act

  • @Str8talk50 unrealistic? It's a film about vampires and werewolves with super human strength.

  • @zaftra I said REACTIONS were unrealistic,no matter how unreal the premise for the movie is the characters are supposed to be made as realistic as they possibly can,that's the whole point of a movie

  • @Str8talk50 In what way unrealistic?

  • @zaftra A boy(Jacob) hanging around a girl(Bella) even though she chose another guy(Edward) would most likely never happen and even if it did when she married the other guy he would DEFINITELY move on with his life

  • @Str8talk50 I try again posting this. A 17 yo girl playing two fellas off one another? Most women go out with one man and have one as back up. That is completely believable. Plus in this it's pretty clear Jacob did go away when she was marrying Edward. He came back when she was ill and her life was in the balance.

  • @zaftra if she was playing them off one another it would be believable but she's not,she CLEARLY told Jacob she chose Edward if she was playing them she would be leading on both sides,there is no reason why Jacob would stick around,and those women that you say have another man as ''back up''..the ''back up'' man doesn't stick around because the woman just TALKS to them as in that is all Bella gives Jacob,how about moving forward with his own life after she moved on with hers

  • @Str8talk50 May I ask how old you are and if your male or female. you seem a little naive Most of the time, Jacob and Edward where not in the same place, they occasionally met when Bella was there and she pretty much acted to keep them apart. Edward and Jacob where love rivals and sworn enemies (story as old as the hills), to Jacob it was as much getting one over the vampire. When she got engaged he got the message and left to sulk like a child.

  • @zaftra 22 male,like I said even if he stuck around to try to get one over Edward he would definitely left for good when she married him,why would he stick around a married couple punishing himself not to mention the weird factor that goes with it,and then there's Edward who allows it or doesn't discourage it,who constantly reads others minds and I Imagine Jacob's thoughts towards him aren't that nice and his thoughts about Bella aren't to respectful

  • @Str8talk50 Dude, he did leave, he came back becasue she was ill, he stuck around because he 'impressed' himself on her, this was to protect her form the wolves clan who would have killed her to kill the baby.

    Edward is cool with it, he knows she his, but she loves Jacob in a more brotherly way, so he tollerates it

  • Subscribed! Love you

  • "The fetus isn't compatible with your body" BEST SCRIPT EVER!!!

  • a friend of my said bella had to choose from bestiality or necrophilia lmao!!!!

  • I just dont get why people get soooo pissed at this movie just cuz its very popular. Im not a fan myself but whats the big deal? So alot of people like it, just leave the fans alone & get on with your lives, this amount Of backlash is entirely pointless and pathetic

  • @cfrench61995 We don't like it cause people act like its an academy award winner and by people i mean 13-18 Teenage girls and 30 year old horny moms. It's ridicoulous, The Acting is horrible, The Script is Garbage and completly gives "Cliche" a new meaning, and the Effects are shit, they could of been made better by a nerd at home with a editing program. It just shows how brain dead some people really are.

  • I remember reading the books in like 8th grade and wishing I were Bella, haha. Also now that I think about it there is no way Edward got it up. Just saying.

  • For all of you people saying that its Stephanie Meyers imagination and how it can't be wrong. If Justine says it is IT IS!!!!

  • breaking dawn? isnt that a book about necrophilia and bestiality????

  • @theassortedjellybean and I bet you think your being original don't you?

  • @zaftra I bet you're a fat lesbian hehehehe

  • @theassortedjellybean How wrong can one person be? I'm a slim (ish) 44 year old heterosexual Englishman. Now that's gone and fucxked your mind over haha!

  • @zaftra LMFAO I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG THEN!!!!!! A NICE TRY THOU ON MY PART!!!!

  • AAHH, I haven't watched your videos in the longest time. Epic review. XD it's definitely true. Not only did the books suck, but the invisible-if not nonexistent-plot was extremely contorted and wrong.

  • U. R. RUDE.

  • @TheVictoria3233 Yo face

  • Oh my god i laughed my ass off when she was like, "Piss off! Go away!" 0:35!

  • cool as a cucumber

  • I love your videos! Thank you for easing my hatred for Twilight by making a valid argument in this video. <3

  • Twilights great. Ur not.

  • @AislingPie JPMETZ is amazing, you're rude.

  • @AislingPie well ur a pie face .... i dont know running outa insults 

  • @AislingPie Twilight licks donkey balls.

    Oh, and you're*

  • Ur awesome......hilarious😁

  • "seriously I would go to dr. phil" LOL

  • "Where a condom kids" haha

  • saw this on MY big screen at home. goto: leakedmovies . biz

  • I, too, was disturbed by the fact that Jacob imprinted on a baby [which looked fake...CGI type stuff]. The woman who wrote this book [whose name I don't care to remember] did a bang up job though because she's making bank I'm sure, even though the vampires sparkle and Bella is pretty unfaithful and so on and so on...

  • "Their just hangin out in the same room, cool as a cucumber."

  • LOL. Join the hockey team XD

  • "hi, it's me" [cut]

    facepalm.

  • OMG!! I LUV TWILIGHT!! But you made me lmfao until i peed!!! :)

  • I love you, woman. 

  • I kept reading the Twilight series even if I knew they were full of basically every anti-woman thing ever on the face of the earth. I regret it every single day of my life.

  • I love how you know exactly what the motif was on the invitations lol

  • luv to watch that movie at leakedmovies. biz

  • i love the books, and the film. they're my life. but i found this HILARIOUS!

  • best movie of the year leakedmovies . biz

  • I find it just a little pathetic that you took the time to analyze and be butt hurt over a few books and movies. It's not real. It's fantasy, it's just for entertainment. You are over analyzing shit. But it's your right, I guess.

  • @badugee It's what she does, she make a big deal over everything. Hating everything is kind of her whole schtick on this channel if you haven't noticed.

  • How is the story like crack? It's about a manipulative chick who can't choose in whose pants she wants to get. No one should care if she chooses the vampire and no one should care if she chooses the werewolf, because she's completely unrelatable, she has no ditinguishing trait to make her likeable to anyone, unless you share her shallow, egoistic, one-minded nature. Edward has no personality whatsoever, he's just there to look (moderately) pretty. The only decent character is mustache dad.

  • @GhostSniper3081 More to the point, did anyone really have the delusion that she was going to pick Jacob? How people got all worked up over this is truly extraordinary.

  • Umm Breaking Dawn is not bad stfu fat bitch.

  • @Whatevaa99

    Say whatever you want

    cause cursing ain't

    really going to offend us.

    :p

  • @Xxcupcake522xx Wasn't talking to you (:

  • @Whatevaa9

    I'm sorry you don't have

    to be a bitch about it.

  • @Xxcupcake522xx Wasn't being bitch lol! I just hate haters (not you her^^) and it made me made because I love Twilight!!

  • yup.

  • my thoughts exactly.

  • i like twilight, but I have to admitt Stephenie Meyer's way of thinking is fucked up, she needs to do her research on BOTH werewolf AND vampires, becuse 79% of her fact abou them are WRONG! Vampire don't sparkle, and her werewolves look too much like domestic dogs.

    Another thing, I don't get how bella could get pregnant from Edward if he has NO BLOOD to get an erection and it didn't say he drank any blood during that "honey moon".

  • @2Bored2Listen there are no facts about them.. they are made up....

  • @2Bored2Listen its her imagination. Theres no right or wrong answer when it comes to being creative and out of the ordinary

  • @2Bored2Listen I dont like Twilight, but Stephenie Meyer doesn't have to go by what someone else made up about vampires and werewolves lol. It's her fantasy. I mean, how many people do you think told L. Frank Baum that witches don't melt when he wrote the Wizard of Oz? Its just a book so calm down haha.

  • @sabs82174 I think it's more that vampires are much more interesting when given proper lore/logistics. Haha.

  • @2Bored2Listen Yeah. He's have to use his blood to make an erection, and if he's completely depleted... it wouldn't be possible. I'm glad someone else noticed that :) Love true vampires that aren't things you want to be. Vampires are cursed, they are cursed with living forever, and yet never seeing daylight. They also are used to show man's guilty pleasures, their desires, but at what costs they could come.

    Sorry had a rant but I <3 vampire lore haahhaha gw man

  • @2Bored2Listen Actually there is no such a thing called "vampires" so you can't tell the fact of how a vampire would be , yet the so called "werewolfs" are't afterall. They are called shape-shifters , read the full saga and the new guide she wrote so you know every detail of the story .

  • @2Bored2Listen well vampires dont exist so you cant say they sparkle and also the werewolves are shapshifters.... :D

  • @2Bored2Listen PLEASE let this be sarcasm >< ... its stupid regardless

  • @2Bored2Listen Haha, yeah i've always wondered about the whole erection thing. Vampires, not just Edward, are made out to be great in the sack or whatever. But unless the blood they drink (and that includes animal blood) goes to their penis, how the hell do they get an erection? It's just one of those things think about sometimes..

  • D: You're pregnant?!?!? That's what happens.. use a condom kids XD

  • this is dumb its a movie moron relax. ugh

  • Breaking dawn is so romantic!! Do u not have any love inside youh? aw no i bet ur just fat & hateness!!!!!!....

  • @MissSiayshaBoop Getting pregnant from a vampire and nearly dying giving birth to a little demon baby is romantic? Okay then.

  • @MissSiayshaBoop

    Wow that movie doesn't seem romantic at all

    bad taste much.

    -_-

  • @MissSiayshaBoop r youh lyk tw3lv3?

  • hahahahahahakldghasogjoiduhodf­jhlkdfhjdlfhuSTOP BEING SO FUNNY!

  • Hahaha!!! Kept me laughing thru ur whole video!!! Luv u!! So funny!!

  • Bella Swan lol Your Review is amazing just like you!! 

  • this is fu*ked up!

  • i love you gurl! forever!

  • Bitch you ruined the movie. Kidding, i don't give a shit about twilight. I hate both teames and i hope they die. Go watch true blood. Alexander Skarsgård is the hottest piece of ass ever to walk on this planet.

  • you are my spirit animal

  • This was brilliant. Many laughs were had.

  • Stephanie Myer must be so happy you've insulted her <3 ! I would be!

  • lol this girl is hilarious xD

    Ilove how she went on and on about the damn invitations xDDD

  • Finally!! Someone brave enough to vent about these stupid Twilight movies!! Hallelujah!

  • Can watch it at leakedmovies . biz

  • why can't i have more friends like you?

  • Crappy invitations the frig

  • I fail

  • Lol i stRted

  • 1 + 1 = 3

    Use a condom. XD

  • Breaking dawn was the first twilight movie I saw. Was not impressed...

  • Haha your so funny

  • Haha the books were like crack! I totally agree with that cause i apparently read them for no reason and was more disappointed when i saw the movie -.-

  • See there is the best way to illustrate the wafer thin plot of twilight. Both the breaking dawn films happened because she didn't wear a condom.....wow! What a well thought out epic!

  • The reason the invitations looked all chewed up is because Bella's dumbass kept getting paper cuts so the Cullen that looks like Harpo Marx (and doesn't get any lines ironically) kept trying to eat them.

  • WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH....woah....He falls in love with the baby? I'm suddenly interested.

  • Lol!!! Having all this sex and then getting pregnant. That's what happens. Use a condom kids. = Sooo good! ^^

  • Thats a Pedophile!! XDDD

  • Hehe Seriously id go on dr phil

  • team justine all the way !!!!

  • "Hi. It's me."

  • He imprinted on the baby to stop the other wolves going to kill Bella.

  • @stephtardd And then he fell in love with it.... Very weird.

  • haha that is the shining. best portion of this ever.

  • Dr. Phil To Bella: "This ain't my first rodeo!", "A man can’t ‘just be friends’ with another woman. Period.” "You choose the guy that breaks into your house to watch you sleep, he stalks you, he alienates you from your friends and family, he dropped you off in the middle of the woods, he tried to commit suicide, he has a fetish for drinking blood, he sparkles, AND now he has gotten you knocked up at 18". Your so messed up Brittney Spears looks like a saint next to you!

  • This is the most accurate review of the movie I have seen. 

  • I read the books back when I was a 'good literature' virgin.

  • I never saw a Twilight movie and NEVER WILL

  • @bizbiz46 amen -.-

  • JPMETZ is the reason there is a heaven

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  • "all they do is play chess and have sex" lmao

  • I've been resisting your subtle charms for ages, but I finally did it. I subscribed.

  • I read the book too and when Bella got pregnant I was wondering how Edward's sperm cells were still alive

  • Jpmetzaphobia:

    The fear that Justine's awesomeness will be way too much for everyone to handle, so everyone will die and the world will explode. The end.

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  • yeah seriously everyone,

    I think i just found out why you cant watch Justine and fap at the same time. You aren't born with the ability to laugh this hard and orgasm and breathe at the same time. And yet..she makes you want to do all three...WHY JUSTINE, WHY?!

  • Here's like a penny or something...bitch.

  • i prefer this justine to ijustine :D

  • I refused to go to bed without playing the latest jpmetz vids 100 times. cuz if i dont youtube will shut down. it is not an obsession. it is a fact. Tom told me.

  • jpmetz is a stupid cunt.

  • @alexusmiller95 Justine's minions would like a word with you...

  • @alexusmiller95 hahahaha. trying to hate on her? shes gonna FIND YOU

  • @alexusmiller95 SAME TO YOU BUDDY

  • I have always wanted to make a "Kiss My Ass" comment, but I never will because I know that my lips will never deserve to be anywhere near your glorious ass.

  • breaking dawn sucks muppets rule!!!!!! what happened edward you cant carry bella like hollywood cant carry this movie

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  • Omg i think i love you lmaooo! Your so strait foward i love it,I'm subscribing

  • Justin, the only reason that you should not be a vampire is because the sun would loose its glowing color by lacking your illuminative beauty.

  • OK. Nearly dropped a lung listening to this! LOL

  • People will never be able to live forever and pigs will never fly.

    But what if JPMetz says people CAN live forever and pigs CAN fly?

    Then people can live forever and pigs can fly.

  • Without my regular dose of JPMETZ I'm kind of a b!+ch...... just sayin'

  • because you know, none of them have jobs..

  • The special effects were horrible.

  • cool as a cucumber

  • Lmfaooooo

    

  • lmaoo...."that's a pedophile" !

  • iv been goin round trollin videos and saying mean things caz im bored, but my god you are a ledgend haha you rant like me, you remind me of me. except your fat and im not

  • i love twilight i love the books and movies but i still found this video super funny :)

  • you're starting to piss me off due to your lack of videos. I WANT TO SEE YOUR AMAZING VIDEOS!

  • i love you. <3.

  • and chu right, IT SUCKS ! <3

  • you're pretty :3

  • Jpmetz doesn't "spoil" anything, she only enhances it.

  • so..correct me if im wrong but we'rent they outdoors during the wedding? do they just not sparkle anymore? because it looked pretty bright and sunny out there

  • omg! you are so great! Hillarious.....I so love sarcastic people. Im a fan of Twilight series but let's be real....u ain't lyin .so funny made my day.

  • you were talking about how stupid Twilight is and I was busy staring at your hair to pay too much attention.

  • are you sure your not on crack cuz you sure as hell look like it

  • omg your hair got so long:) I Love yo channel!! <3 cause your owsome loll

  • the stories are better than the movies