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  • I like the constant references to commercials. 

  • 1:47 Jason Statham's brother?

  • what is the difference between jesus? and a picture of jesus?

    it only takes 1 nail to hang a picture of jesus

    haha

  • "And then, the big bang happened"

  • Unlikely things to hear on Mock the Week: Something remotely witty from Andy Parsons.

  • @kkwillsaveus Andy is consistently hilarious. He's just over shadowed by the more theatrical Russel and controversial Frankie.

  • The "Because you're worth it" one was pretty fucking epic, not gonna lie.

  • Mary and Joseph went to find an Inn and when they found one there wasnt any room. The Inn told them they were full for christmas...

  • I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY!

  • What you wouldn't find in the Bible:

    the Hittites existed.

    Slavery was bad.

    And many more the Church conveniently edited.

  • Since people are talking about proof, I'm going throw it out there that in terms of extant sources from the ancient world, the 4 Gospels are far better supported than any Roman texts we have. Our knowledge of the latter is based on a very small number of medieval manuscripts, often only one or two MS's per book. In contrast, we have many thousands of Gospel texts dating from far earlier periods. This does not equal proof of course, but from a historical perspective they are comparatively sound.

  • @jimbob872005 So you've never heard of Livy, Sallust or Tacitus? They were around at the time, and they were (relatively) unbiased. The Gospel texts were mostly fabricated centuries later by Constantine the Great in his rather successful attempt to turn Roman paganism into Christianity. So in a way, all the Christian churches (except Coptic) are a continuation of the pagan religions of Europe.

  • @SuperSmashyfication I've read them, I have two degrees in Classics. Sallust is quite close to what he was writing about, Tacitus less so (and unbiased? The Annals reads like a tabloid at times) but Livy was writing on dawn of Rome as a national myth. Not a good example. So accuracy is far from assured. I would also point out that there many fragments of the Gospels and NT that predate Constantine's reign, and that 2nd century Christians reference the Gospels, again predating Constantine.

  • @jimbob872005 Christian documents often involve miracles and the like, so you understand my skepticism. If you have information on the subject that supports your claims could you please share it?

  • @SuperSmashyfication A decent example of an early Christian quoting the NT is Origen, who wrote various commentaries on NT books, and a lot earlier is Clement of Rome. Both these writers are 2nd/3rd century, well before Constantine. The earliest fragments are papyri, oldest extant is P52 dated to mid 2nd century (there are many more). Scepticism is good, but as most historical texts do not make claims about miracles, this leads to a different debate, philosophical rather than historical.

  • @jimbob872005 Okay, but do you have links to somewhere I can read more on this, as I am genuinely interested.

  • @jimbob872005 even nowadays, the bible is reprinted and reprinted, and each reprint is slightly different... differently explained, curtailed to a specific public, you name it. Imagine this over thousands of years..... its no secret several times the catholics cut out stuff they didn't like or rewritten parts etc. They had to keep the monks working on new books, instead of using the old ones.

  • @mreeuwij However our New Testament sources are very early, allowing us to pick up on any subsequent derivations in later transcriptions/reprints. Hence the NIV translation is based on earlier texts than the King James, decreasing the potential for corruption. I understand the suspicion of the church practice, but its helpful to know that copying out scripture was a devotional practice for monks, so its less likely that the scribe would have messed around with the text in such a case.

  • Way, one of the top comments, guess God dos love me ;)

  • Reminds me of that movie where Moses dropped one of the stone plates by accident: "God gave us those 15... *CRASH!*... I mean... 10 commandments"

  • Just about what we'd expect from the Marxist BBC.

  • @SpartanPict lol fail, i hope you are not serioous

  • I have one,

    There came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

    Oh wait... that actually is in the bible.

  • i was dreading the comments section after this video :/

  • Scroll up before someone spoils the video!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • I love Jack, so at 1:02 I was like "Awww, he didn't get there fast enough!" and then at 1:31 "Awww!" and then at 2:08 "HELL YEAH!"

  • lovvvvvvvvveeeeeeeee this one :D

  • @Awesomegirl9088 grow up, its not for you to judge what is true and what isnt

  • @Snyphen356 It's my opinion!!! My opinion is my opinion and I have a right to express it!! If you don't like it that's tough, that's all I'm sayin'.

  • @Awesomegirl9088 Ha i'm a christian ( not a very devout christian) and im woow the ndering hfuck you came up with that statement?

  • @freemanstubey You're a christian? I didn't actually know that Christians would watch this. My comment applies to most christians except you then.

  • "And God said unto them "sorry, that was my fault.""

  • Jesus walks into an inn, hands the innkeeper 3 nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"

  • The characters in this book are entirely fictitious! LOL! I just about died of laughter when he said that! True, the characters in the bible ARE made up, because if Adam and Eve were the first creatures on Earth, what about the Dinosaurs and Evolution? The bible is a load of bollocks.

  • @Awesomegirl9088 well, the point a christian would make is that the bones were placed there by the devil to deceive us, or something like that

  • @Awesomegirl9088 There's actually more proof Jesus lived than there is that Julius Caesar did. Quite a lot of the stories in the old testament were probably just parables, stories to teach us stuff like Adam Eve is to teach us to not give in to temptation and somewhere along the line got confused as a real story

  • @Cheeseluva2307 Now you're just pulling stuff out of thin air. We're 99,9% sure Caesar existed. We don't know about Jesus - maybe he existed, maybe he didn't. If he did, he was a great guy. If he didn't, he's a great example to follow. It's just his Dad who's evil.

  • @Drag0nfoxx There is proof a man called Jesus existed and he did die on the cross. He probably isn't the son of god, but he definitely did exist

  • @Cheeseluva2307 I have yet to see proof that there was a man called Jesus who died on the cross, can you point me to it?

  • @bradkey98765 I'm pretty sure that at some point across the ages a man called Jesus did die on a cross as it was a common name and crucifiction was all the rage in those days. The bit I struggle with is the feeding of the five thousand and son of God bullshit. If the "Sky Bully" does exist why would he let his creations suffer so badly with deformities, disabilities, disease and famine? Surely that would make him no better than Lucifer himself, only less honest?

  • @homusalonus Earlier you said you had proof, and now you might as well be saying I am pretty sure Harry Potter is a real person because Harry is a common name, but I find the magic spells a little farfetched.

  • @bradkey98765 ER no I never mentioned the word proof at all! You need to reread my comment and chill out, I was actually agreeing with you! Personally I think you need your head looking at if you buy into all that religion bullcrap! PEACE

  • Comment removed

  • @homusalonus Oops sorry, I mixed up you and cheese who said "There's actually more proof Jesus lived than there is that Julius Caesar did.” I don't buy into religion, I’ve just heard from many Christians and Atheists that there is proof that Jesus was a real person. But from what I can tell there are only books written around 30 years after the time he apparently lived.

  • @bradkey98765 No worries, I thought I'd managed to upset another fellow youtuber:) Keep on non believing my good man, brainwashing only works on the week!

  • @Drag0nfoxx At last a truth speaker, well said my brother!

  • @Cheeseluva2307 what? you are an idiot. we know 100% that julius caesar existed, there is even a month named after him, but we only know about 95% that someone named jesus was nailed to the cross and we know 0% that he was the son of god (all figures in this comments are estimates and should not be officially quoted)

  • there names where lampard and gerrard...xD

  • genuine science & history has shown that no archaeologist has ever uncovered anything that discredits the Holy Bible, RATHER whenever they do unearth things, the 'things' confirm, substantiate & validate the Bible.

  • @62Elvis Not sure what you're smoking but no they don't.

  • @TheBetaTube As an archaeologist I can say it depends how you interpret it. Me myself, I just concentrate on the archaeology, and usually come to 5 different conclusions.

    Oh yeah, don't forget, you'll never get a straight answer from an archaeologist!!! ;)

  • @TheBetaTube Yes, they Do. what are You smoking?

  • @62Elvis Nothing has ever proven that there is a god amongst us and the bible is not substantial evidence of this. The book is clearly fiction. If you'd like to think of it that way then is there nothing to say that non of the Greek gods are real? What about the Mayans who worshipped the sun as their god? If anything it all shows the primitive ways we attempted to solve the dilema of how we were created, but we now know we weren't the first beings on this earth :)

  • @16mes lol

  • @62Elvis You're a fucking idiot. 

  • @ellguy11 whatever knucklehead but Im RIGHT deal with it!

  • @62Elvis That's a ridiculous claim. What about the many, many things they uncover which date to before the time of 'Christ' etc.. so many flaws in your argument I don't know what to go into next!

  • you would never see them talk about lines you would never hear in the quran or however it is spelt, now that would be racist wouldnt it...

  • I said some of these jokes to a Christian and they replied 'God doesn't love you'. I don't know about you but bullshit!

  • @caieraD

    I'm a Christian, but whomever said that to you SUCKS!

  • @SIngli6 Haha, thanx :)

  • @caieraD

    Not a true christian. True christians believe God loves everyone except the Devil.

  • @RyanBrooksby Sorry then you arent a tre christian, a true christian would follow the 613 commandments. Because jesus said that he did not come to undo gods laws.

    So remember dont eat lobster or live close to a cemetary, cause the bible clearly states if you live close to one you disturb the dead.

  • @gumme1234

    Yes, well as the bible conviently said the nation of the Hittites never existed, then years ago said they did, I'm not trusting it.

  • @RyanBrooksby So God loves athiests, malesters, murderers and people like that? Hmmmmm, seems a little far fetched.......

  • That was fairly mild. To be quite honest ive read more contraversal thing in the bible

  • "Noah noticed that the Ark was sinking. He HATED woodpeckers." XD

  • NIK'S first was the funniest!!!!!!!1

  • I´m catholic but I got a lot of fun along...

  • Thumbs up for the Walls Of Jericho #Y2J

  • Dissapointed, theres no more Frankie Boyle.

  • Why is everyone so assed about Christianity? It's a comedy show stfu and cheer up you miserable twats!

  • Christianity like every other religion is a pile of shit. Forcing adherents to believe in imaginary beings and what they tell them to do to "save their souls". Religion hasn't got a place in the modern world

  • Oh Frankie.......Where art thou?

  • @sirAthrus actually where art thou means why are you not where are you. so shove that up your pipe and smoke it

  • @D3LTA1999 Sorry, I don't smoke.

  • Hugh and Andy really carried this segment...didn't even crack a smile at any of the others.

  • 2:10 - i'm not a christian but does he seriously think that God wrote the Bible?

  • @ben260194 its a joke. 

  • @deathlyhallows713 don't get me wrong, i like Jack Whitehall, think he's brilliant, but it still a bit of a retarded mistake to make and for someone usually so good at observational comedy, he's not done himself proud with this one

  • @ben260194 well some christians argue that god did write the bible, and that the human writers were 'inspired' through him; they were merely the tools god used. So it wasn't a mistake.

  • I bet BBC wouldn´t have the balls to air this if it was about the Koran...

  • @TheCrilles I don't think either the comedians or most of the audience know enough about the Koran for it to be really funny. It's too obscure, hence it doesn't feature an awful lot here.

  • @TheCrilles This should read: " I bet the BBC would be smart enough not to air this if it was about the Koran."

  • @TheCrilles 'course not. Blood would flow in the streets and bombs would be flying if they did.

  • Comedy makes us laugh, because it is usually always based around the truth.

  • "The following is based on a true story.... Not"

  • he said. GERARD!!!!! omg it reminds me of gerard way <3

  • @corianderdolphin2 There's something wrong with you isn't there? He's talking about a footballer. 

  • @SirAdamusGames i said he Reminded me of gerard way, not IS

  • i often wonder how Hugh faces his dad, who is a Bishop in the C of E, after these types of sessions.

  • im a Christian, but im not gonna be annoying and sit here and go "ohh thats just offensive, nup, not funny" COS ITS FUNNY. they're just jokes. especially the thing about gerrard haha

  • @EdeLovesGerrard If every christian was like you Christianity wouldn't be such a problem. But you always get twats who give you guys a bad name. May your god be with you and may my cynical skepticism be with me,

  • @TheSkeletalBaron LOLL why thanks :)

  • @EdeLovesGerrard I deal with so many Christians who get so touchy and offended and try to act like their religion deserves to be of limits for insults and mocks. Nice to finally meet someone not like that.

  • @TheSkeletalBaron hahaha thank you, again.. i just take them as jokes.. cos they are lol

  • hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  • Jack Whitehall fails as a comic, why is he on tv

  • Seriously, who cares about religion? I'm more concerned by the fact that no one seems to know who Jack Whitehall is...

  • @FreeGirlForLife Well, the religious care about religion, and a lot of them take it pretty seriously, so there's that.

    Personally I find this video funny because there's a strong ring of truth echoing throughout the jokes.

  • @Fangtorn I wasn't being serious? I was trying to make light of how stupid people are being about religion but okay, let's take my comment seriously as well as the video

  • @FreeGirlForLife Well, when the first word in your comment is "seriously" forgive me for taking your comment seriously. It's not like youtube comes with a sarcasm font.

    I assumed you were of those "why u talk about religion if u not believe? Live and let live man! It doesn't matter" type of people, as your comment didn't make light of people's stupidity regarding religion one way or the other, it posited a question to which I offered an answer.

  • @Fangtorn I'll be sure and put (sarcasm) at the beginning of all my comments from here on in then :p I actually am one of those people, I just don't broadcast my opinion on youtube for others to hate on.

  • @FreeGirlForLife Well then I don't understand what your problem with my comment was then. If you are one of the people who don't think others should care about religion, then the question "seriously, who cares about religion?" isn't sarcastic. I'm not trying to hate on you, I just think me quickly pointing out that the religious care about religion and theres lots of them is totally fair and I don't see why you responded to me like I was an idiot.

  • @Fangtorn I don't have any problem with your comment? I only said I wasn't being serious. But it was a silly thing to say; anyone with two brain cells can see religious people get serious about religion.

  • @FreeGirlForLife Because they know deep down that it is a load of crap. Religious people are only religious because of their own insecurities. And of course their inability to define their own life without using another set of principles.

  • @AlSaysIt I don't mean to sound rude here, but I don't paticularly care why people are religious. Or even if they are. The only kind of religious people I hate are the ones that everyone does; the ones that shove it down people's throats. Otherwise, they can be what they want to be.

  • @FreeGirlForLife poor Jack :(

  • @PureAngel008 Indeed, it must be terrible to be shit at your job

  • @SpiritKnob i was being serious i love Jack Whitehall he is a great comedien 

  • @PureAngel008 Fair enough. I think he's a simpering, smarmy cunt who's said about two funny things in his career.

  • @SpiritKnob we are all intitled to an opinion but the C word is a bit harsh

  • @PureAngel008 Yeah, Christianity is a bit harsh.

  • @Fablefiend lol. but u know what i mean

  • @SpiritKnob

    i agree with this, hes smarmy as fuck

  • For it, was a premier inn.

  • ...the number of time's I've read people saying how shit MTW is without Frankie Boyle. jeez, If you want to see him so much go and buy his DVD's or look him up, stop WHINGING on Mock the week Clips!

    ((P.S. I am NOT a Frankie Boyle Hater. I am as big a Frankie Boyle fan as anyone else. I find the guy Hilarious and even have one of his DVD'S CAUSE I DON'T SIT AROUND WHINING ABOUT HIM NOT BEING ON A SHOW! ))

  • Funny stuff ★★★★★

    Katalyzt

  • Religion is a joke. This video contains jokes. I see no issue here?

  • if only Frankie was still on the show this part of the show he would of ripped in to the bible big time

  • I think if you can't have a few laughs about it, then you take your religion too seriously. I'm a Catholic and I find this funny. 

  • @xExpressUrSelfx Exactly! I think thats what's wrong with this world, people have forgotten how to laugh at themselves!

  • @xExpressUrSelfx I agree! Sometimes jokes do go a litte far.. but these were very funny I have to say! Cept the bald guy! I never find him funny! 

  • @xExpressUrSelfx ....and so you should!

  • @xExpressUrSelfx look at all the comments. . . there aren't any from christians saying that this clip is wrong, there are even some saying that they think that its funny, but practically every other comment is an atheist hating on religion yet your saying that religious people take this clip to seriously? . . . . .

  • Mock the Week is shit without Frankie, this clip proves it.

  • @yoss1978 Wrong

  • Well of course they're never going to go to Nando's again.... It was their last super.

  • Jack whitehall

  • whos the hilarious guy in the grey cardigan?

  • @PioneerOnSupercity HIS NAME IS JACK WHITEHALL AND HE ISN'T FUNNY

    - Bot23

  • I dont see why all the atheists are hating on Christians over a clip from mock the week. Im christian and I find this hilarious! I love mock the week :D

  • @doodadamlol "all the athiests" im not hating :( ;)

  • aw the guy in the grey cardigan couldnt get to the mic fast enough, others kept rushing to it quicker

  • @LivviWasHere No he's just not witty enough to come up with anything. He is called Jack Whitehall and he isn't funny.

  • @Bot23 meh he's funnier than a lot of people + I found him funny

  • And Noah did realise, the ark was not big enough to fit the dinosaurs in.

  • To be honest... If Hell does exist then I would rather go there since I would know that all of these fantastic people would be there with me.

  • Fuck religion.

    Nothing but a waste of time and fear mongering and lies.

  • Hugh Dennis is funny, don't get me wrong, but he needs to stop hogging the mic.

  • @whoknows2007 He made the same number or jokes as Russel Howard...

  • @MattKnifton But whenever I watch one of these 'unlikely lines' rounds, you see a few people going forward at once, and Hugh is always leading the way, even if he's just had a go. He's a regular, he has weeks and weeks to be funny lol, he should give the one episode guest comedians a chance!

  • Gingernut being Christian isn't a religion its a choice on how to live so suck on that you fucking retard

  • @MsHyperHolly Yes, of course, Christianity isn't a religion, hence it being taught in religious education classes.

    Besides, religions are belief systems that deal in the supernatural. Whereas Christianity is the idea that the supernatural, omnipotent creator of the universe came to earth as a man to tell us all how to act.

    Totally NOT a religion.

  • 1:31 <<< :-D

    

  • Comment removed

  • Haha, Christians, I'm going to tell you a story. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. The big bang happened and God never existed. Moral of the story: Your religion can go to your 'hell'. I'll be down there laughing at it in 80 years.

  • @Gingrnut Don't piss on you're own candle mate. Oh and i'm Pagan, so I don't think you're going to hell.

  • wwe reference

  • lov russels glasses

  • this is shit...i smiled once at the insurance joke..

  • Two words:

    Frankie Boyle.

    )':

  • @SaffyRocks what about frankie boyle? :O

  • @SaffyRocks Screw Frankie Boyle, Andy Parsons is the funniest guy on this show.

  • Who's the guy at

    0:35 ???

  • @Fluffball99 that's Jack Whitehall

  • @Fluffball99 Jack Whitehall

  • i LOVE hugh dennis's claim and insurance jokes lol

  • 'About the author, this is God's first book, he has one son, and he's a little bit touchy about gays.' pahahaah love it.

  • he's not the masiah he's a very naughty boy

  • prrrrrremier

  • I love all the ignorant comments on this video, people have no clue on what they're talking about X)

    Also, funny vid.

  • @Hagathorthegr8 ive gotta ask why is a redneck? I'm from the UK and I honestly have no idea what they are......

  • @bookwormtweet Rednecks are racists in America, racists anywhere else are called racists. In fact you have to be "God fearing" and right wing (not catholic though, which kind of sucks cause I'm a protestant like those arse bandits), to be in the Klu Klux Klan, the first organised terrorist organisation in America.

  • @bookwormtweet

    Their like rightwing, predominantely white, some type of christian denomination, old school conservatives who like to drive large trucks [even if theyre employement has nothing to do with it] watch cars race in a circle and call it a sport, drink heavily, beat their spouses, listen to country music about the above explained, xenophobic, homophobic, alcoholic, live in the path of tornados, and believe all of the conservative media's BS... and of course the men are EVEN worse

  • @bookwormtweet Rednecks are people who generally live in country-like regions and are usually part of the poor class. Sorta the 'white-trash' of America.

  • funny thing i was actually born in a barn and do you know what i cant walk on water believe me i tried but i was really born in a barn and it has come in handy in those situations

  • You're worth it. LOOOOOL HUGH DENNIS!