Hogwarts is in Scotland, which only makes it worse. I have been swimming in a loch in March. Not far from Glen Finnan, in fact, where that iconic bridge in the films is.
It was not for fun. You will hurt. It's too cold.
Also, we don't really have "baby showers" here in the UK. We just hand over presents when we come to visit. Just another thing that makes this story... Even more ridiculous.
Lucius didn't "make" Draco become a Death Eater. Lucius... wait, how was he even there in the first place? Lucius was sent to prison after book 5. If anything, Lucius WOULDN'T want Draco to become a Death Eater. That's the whole point. The only reason Voldemort gave Draco that mission was to punish Lucius, because Voldemort was certain Draco would die in the attempt. Ah well, if I try to point out every canon raping bit of this drivel I'll be here all night.
He looked down at his mark, and I wondered how I never noticed it before.
Draco glanced up, his grey eyes showing emotion for the first time. "I got this last year." He sighed and rubbed the mark. "Father made me join, and I couldn't say no."
I backed away in fear. Should I really trust him? What if this was some plot to get to Harry? Was what he saying true?
I tried to make this to her cannon and I had to stop there. God Draco is such a pansy in this story.
"All be there all the way." O_O Doesn't the author mean "I'LL be there all the way"???
Yeesh, how could Ginny NOT notice the mark on his arm?? Also, the author's writing style really pisses me off. I really hate it when they insert their own thoughts in the fanfiction. -_-
@FanFicCritic * blushes* Yeah, I kinda did that when I first writing stories. Then I found out that your not supposed to do that, so I went back a few months ago to delete all of my A/N's that was in the story.
@ztslovebird or maybe they went swimming in the lake...with the giant squid watching them make out under the water...ew.
KittyfantasticoFTW 3 weeks ago
Maybe they went swimming in Hogwarts' hidden swimming pool.
ztslovebird 2 months ago in playlist More videos from AFanFictionCritic
OK, you had me laughing so hard I cried at 9:19 onward! What a um, crappy, story this is!
SG1RoolsTheRoost 2 months ago
Oh my God, swimming in March in Scotland?! In a BAKINI?? I'm cringing just at the thought!
lartenroolz 4 months ago
Hogwarts is in Scotland, which only makes it worse. I have been swimming in a loch in March. Not far from Glen Finnan, in fact, where that iconic bridge in the films is.
It was not for fun. You will hurt. It's too cold.
Also, we don't really have "baby showers" here in the UK. We just hand over presents when we come to visit. Just another thing that makes this story... Even more ridiculous.
DeathofPenguins 5 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
"His tongue entered her mouth and he tasted me."
Two thoughts:
1. "Ah, so now we see that the story is written from the perspective of Ginny's secret lover. Dun-dun-DUUUN!"
2. "And now we get to the point where the author inadvertently reveals that Ginny is her vessel and this story is one giant self-insert."
hobobuckettre69 5 months ago
Lucius didn't "make" Draco become a Death Eater. Lucius... wait, how was he even there in the first place? Lucius was sent to prison after book 5. If anything, Lucius WOULDN'T want Draco to become a Death Eater. That's the whole point. The only reason Voldemort gave Draco that mission was to punish Lucius, because Voldemort was certain Draco would die in the attempt. Ah well, if I try to point out every canon raping bit of this drivel I'll be here all night.
shinobi67 5 months ago
Wait. Did this story just switch perspectives mid conversation?
shinobi67 5 months ago
uh how long were they making out that they ahd to gasp for air ???
TheTop20freak 7 months ago
Isn't Hogwarts in Scotland?
mitzirocker 9 months ago
@mitzirocker I thought it was in England.
CubVitaniLioness 6 months ago
I loved the Borat joke! It was just spot on!
HyaenusDominae 1 year ago
Again with the tears! How about:
He looked down at his mark, and I wondered how I never noticed it before.
Draco glanced up, his grey eyes showing emotion for the first time. "I got this last year." He sighed and rubbed the mark. "Father made me join, and I couldn't say no."
I backed away in fear. Should I really trust him? What if this was some plot to get to Harry? Was what he saying true?
I tried to make this to her cannon and I had to stop there. God Draco is such a pansy in this story.
snarrylover1 1 year ago 3
this gets worse every chapter!!! how?!
oh Snape. that jerk.
caso8 1 year ago
"..with a towel around his waste"
Rofl :D .. Like that whole section wasn't crappy enough. (badumTSCHHH)
Annausagi2 1 year ago 15
"His tongue entered her mouth and he tasted me."
What?
triplequeen 1 year ago 16
@triplequeen Freudian slip ahoy! 8DDD
CherryFairy02 1 year ago
"All be there all the way." O_O Doesn't the author mean "I'LL be there all the way"???
Yeesh, how could Ginny NOT notice the mark on his arm?? Also, the author's writing style really pisses me off. I really hate it when they insert their own thoughts in the fanfiction. -_-
FanFicCritic 1 year ago 3
@FanFicCritic * blushes* Yeah, I kinda did that when I first writing stories. Then I found out that your not supposed to do that, so I went back a few months ago to delete all of my A/N's that was in the story.
snarrylover1 1 year ago
@snarrylover1 Well, I don't mind A/N at the beginning of fanfics, but if they are in the middle of stories, that's when I get annoyed.
FanFicCritic 1 year ago