Locked my keys in my car and I couldn't get them out myself so I called AAA. As the guy was approaching the car he asked me, "Are the keys still inside?"
I didn't say anything besides, "Yep", but the first thought that went through my brain was, "Nope, got them right here in my pocket. I just called you all out here to see if you can open my door without them."
A FB friend told a joke - a father boards a plane with his five kids. Flight attendant asks if they are all his. He replies "I work for a condom company and these are the customer complaints" - I comented "here's your sign"...now had to post this video b/c people didn't understand my comment. O.o
one day i was at my house my cousin called me on the house phone and i swear to god he asked "are you at at home?" i said no im at school brought the house with me just in case
My firehouse responded to a call on the main street once, and we were getting ready to wrap up when a passerby stopped and asked my husband (volunteer at the same department), "Hey, did you guys have a fire?" My husband, who's a total smartass, went, "No, we thought we'd have a practice drill in the middle of rush hour just to liven things up a bit!"
i was in a office building a couple weeks ago, i was standing at the elevators on the ground floor and the UP button is pushed. A man walks up to me and says "excuse me, are these the elevators that go up?" "no, these go side to side. the up ones are down the hall." HE WALKED AWAY! here's your sign.
One time in high school, my chemistry teacher wrote a problem for us to work on on the whiteboard. When we began to discuss the answer, one of my classmates said, "Oh, were we supposed to do it?" My teacher responded, "No, I just like writing on the whiteboard."
I'm waiting for the train to go to Oceanside to leave L.A. Union and every single time, there is always someone that asks me, "this train going to Oceanside?" I always say nope, this train goes to L.A....they get off everytime!!! Here's your sign! LMAO!!!
@Lureahawk its more of a catch phrase for bill, idk any1 tht actually says it in reality, its meaning is sorta based on interpretation. i thk its like hes saying "heres ayoursign of stupidity" bot of course sum1 will repy 2 me with the "real" meaning of it just like youtube trolls do
@Lureahawk He is saying "here's your sign" as a reference to people who should have to wear a sign around there neck saying "I am stupid" or "I am a dumbass", because they asked a question to which the answer is completely obvious.
so I'm at a pool party and no one's going in. So I decide to jump in first, so I strip my shirt off, jump in in my bathing suit. I get back out and put my shirt back on. Couple minutes later, a friend comes up to me, says, "you go swimming?" "Nope, its raining under my shirt. Here's your sign."
I was at a hotel with my parents and I'd just been to the bathroom. I walked out to find my Dad standing there and he said "Are you done?"... "No I just thought I'd take a break".
today my friend told me he had jet lag...i asked "where you flying?" but then i caught myself, and saying "oh no, you must have just been running really fast. I'll just take my sign and go."
LOL all these are good. here's one for the road. me and my family were on a cross country trip (moving from indiana to new mexico) when our car breaks down at a fast stop in tucumcari... we manage to park it there and we go in. the guy asks "Here for a refill?" My dad goes "Nope just thought we saw the pearly gates." then i said. "And our car is the one visiting." He asks if our car broke down and my mom said "nope it's just sleeping during the day." lol my family love this man, thats why
or one time when i was 10 or so,i came home from school and realized that i lost my set of house keys. so after my mom got home, i ran back to school before it closed to see if i could find them. while i was looking in my locker, my cousin just came out of the gym from her basketball practice. she asked me what i was doin and i told her i lost my keys. thats when she asked "to your house?". i looked at her and said "no to my car!" heres your sign;)
or one time i when i was 10 or so,i came home from school and realized that i lost my set of house keys. so after my mom got home, i ran back to school before it closed to see if i could find them. while i was looking in my locker, my cousin just came out of the gym from her basketball practice. she asked me what i was doin and i told her i lost my keys. thats when she asked "to your house?". i looked at her and said "no to my car!" heres your sign;)
i got one. one time in elementary school, we were silent reading, when suddenly our principal walks in to talk to the teacher. he was walking over to him when he stopped and saw that i was reading. he stoped and said to me hey thats a great book, are ya reading it.? i was right about to say yes when i remebered bill. so i paused for a second and finally said, nope, i hope that if i stare long enough the book will give me the info i want! here's your sign.(he wasnt to happy about my responce) ;)
@TheBloodypimp lol true true...better late than never. i pride myself on being a ditzy blonde cuz when i finally figure something obvious out and i tell people their reactions are the BEST!!!!! lol
no matter how many times i listen to this its still the funniest thing i ever heard. thanks bill, i didnt hit a deer but i did the next best thing and damn neer pissed meself
I had 2 of those myself at a garage sale. A guy walks up and says "You folks having a garage sale?" "Nope, we just took everything outside and decided to hang out here for the day." Same guy also notices a guy with a treadmill we had sold in his trunk and says "You just buy that treadmill?" "Nope it begged me for a ride" Those were literally the 2 first sentences out of his mouth.
A few guys i know was working setting up a camp fore a bunch of kids and they got hugry. So one guy goes in to the town and goes to Mc Donald's. And he orders like 14 big macs and the same amount of drinks and the girl taking the order says, are you going to eat here or take it with you?
I actually have a 'Here's your sign' story. My mom is allergic to Wheat and Dairy, so she has to be careful about what she orders. So here we are - me, my mom and my sister, giving our orders to the waitress. My mom asks the waitress if they could replace the toast that came with her meal with a cup of fruit. My mom explained how she was allergic to dairy and wheat.
No Lie, the waitress then asks "Do you want white?"
@DisturbedFan4AllTime LMAO it was funny as hell. The minute the waitress walked away my sister and I were rolling in laughter over that stupid question.
The 'here's your sign' joke has nothing to do about putting signs on stupid people. It means that the what he says is implied, and to have to ask is stupid.
@S0a1v2a3n4n5a6 The joke is that you would talk to stupid people if they wore a sign around thier neck that said "I'm stupid." You say something stupid and you get a sign.
i was in a office building a couple weeks ago, i was standing at the elevators on the ground floor and the UP button is pushed. A man walks up to me and says "excuse me, are these the elevators that go up?" "no, these go side to side. the up ones are down the hall." HE WALKED AWAY! here's your sign. XD XD XD XD
the best here's your sign joke with the reindeer one.
one day my bf n i was having a wrestling match his sister n brother n law went 2 the store they come back my bf just pinned me and his brother n law just walked n the house with his wife right behind him n he said "r u guys wrestling?" and without missing a beat i said "nope we decided 2 have sex with our clothes on." here's your sign
I've never totally understood what "Here's your sign" means.... I mean, I get the point of the jokes.....is it like "here's your sign that you're an idiot"?
Bill Engvall is hilarious. Easy top 3 favorite comedians.
Unless you seen his much odler videos, he'd start with, "One of my pet peeves is I just hate stupid people. I think they should have a sign that says, 'I\m Stupid'. That way you couldn't rely on them." So when he says Here's you sign, meanaing you just went stupid. XD quite funny actually.
i was going to my friends birthday party so i got her really nice raping paper that had her name all over it and she knew i was coming. im holding this gift in plain sight. her mother opens the door and says "youhere for the party?" i said "nope i found this as i was walking around and thought i would see who it is sapost to be taken to."
My buddy and I were in his rock crawler jeep in traffic once, a woman in a little POS Accord opens her window and yells "Why do you need tires that are so big?" and my friend, college education shining through, yelled back "THERE NOT BIG, ITS JUST HOT OUT THEY SWELL UP!!!"
once i kicked a kid from school in leg when i was 10 or so and it messed up MY foot so bad ... i went to see the doc. and the woman there asked me what happened and i just thought ...god this is just too stupid to believe so i said ... ehm ... i kicked a wall cause it was in the way ......
her and my mom were rolling on ground after that xD
My job in the store that I work in is Night time operator for a 24 hour store. My favorite question to be asked over the phone is "Are you open?' No we just the phone for the hell of it.
I used to be a checker for a small grocery store. one day as i was handing a lady here change another lady walked up and as soon as i turned around she asked: "Are you checking?" i was like no i just come here and impersonate a checker to steal peoples money. BTW the one at 3:00 about the elevator was so funny.
Do your legs hurt?
Nope...just crapped my pants!
OMG...this makes me laugh so hard!!
dfhatley 1 month ago
Locked my keys in my car and I couldn't get them out myself so I called AAA. As the guy was approaching the car he asked me, "Are the keys still inside?"
I didn't say anything besides, "Yep", but the first thought that went through my brain was, "Nope, got them right here in my pocket. I just called you all out here to see if you can open my door without them."
"Here's your sign."
Richcelt 2 months ago
"Oh my God, were you on the ground?!"
"Nope! Santa was making one last run! Heeere's your sign!" XDDD
WithATwist19 2 months ago
there's a video of Steve Irwins death over there ------>>>>>vvvvvvvv... your one click away from that weird part of youtube
Kadyium 2 months ago
A FB friend told a joke - a father boards a plane with his five kids. Flight attendant asks if they are all his. He replies "I work for a condom company and these are the customer complaints" - I comented "here's your sign"...now had to post this video b/c people didn't understand my comment. O.o
JonInCorpus 2 months ago
one day i was at my house my cousin called me on the house phone and i swear to god he asked "are you at at home?" i said no im at school brought the house with me just in case
Heres your sign...
Zanji1998 2 months ago
6 people got ran into the wall and got stuck
dbuch1000 4 months ago in playlist More videos from istismf
My firehouse responded to a call on the main street once, and we were getting ready to wrap up when a passerby stopped and asked my husband (volunteer at the same department), "Hey, did you guys have a fire?" My husband, who's a total smartass, went, "No, we thought we'd have a practice drill in the middle of rush hour just to liven things up a bit!"
Here's your sign!
dragondancer1814 4 months ago 4
Son: dad, i'm going to play you a song from Harry potter.
Dad: the movie?
Son: No, The book. Here's your sign
Babyboomandy07 6 months ago 9
This has been flagged as spam show
i was in a office building a couple weeks ago, i was standing at the elevators on the ground floor and the UP button is pushed. A man walks up to me and says "excuse me, are these the elevators that go up?" "no, these go side to side. the up ones are down the hall." HE WALKED AWAY! here's your sign.
Babyboomandy07 6 months ago
One time in high school, my chemistry teacher wrote a problem for us to work on on the whiteboard. When we began to discuss the answer, one of my classmates said, "Oh, were we supposed to do it?" My teacher responded, "No, I just like writing on the whiteboard."
Here's your sign.
MetalSmasherGaming 6 months ago 2
lady - ohh do you legs hurt?
me - nope just got a boner thanks honey!!
gunny426plymouth 7 months ago
This always reminds me of when you're crying and someone comes up to you and says. "Are you okay?"
FlainorKeyblade 7 months ago
I'm waiting for the train to go to Oceanside to leave L.A. Union and every single time, there is always someone that asks me, "this train going to Oceanside?" I always say nope, this train goes to L.A....they get off everytime!!! Here's your sign! LMAO!!!
movielady13 7 months ago 2
Wth is the "here's your sign" thing? I don't get it :s Some sort of American thing?
Lureahawk 7 months ago
@Lureahawk its more of a catch phrase for bill, idk any1 tht actually says it in reality, its meaning is sorta based on interpretation. i thk its like hes saying "heres ayoursign of stupidity" bot of course sum1 will repy 2 me with the "real" meaning of it just like youtube trolls do
kikstar45 7 months ago
@Lureahawk Yes
kensie24230 7 months ago
@Lureahawk check this out and you'll get it.. Bill Engvall - here's your sign (video)
darkiee69 7 months ago
@Lureahawk He is saying "here's your sign" as a reference to people who should have to wear a sign around there neck saying "I am stupid" or "I am a dumbass", because they asked a question to which the answer is completely obvious.
billjohnson001 7 months ago
One day me and my wife had a bunch of stuff for sale out on our lawn.
This woman walks up to me and says, you havin' a yard sale?
I said, Nope, we just decided to put all of this stuff out on our lawn to see how to looks. Heres your sign.
Thats my fav.
RawrzOwned 7 months ago 4
so I'm at a pool party and no one's going in. So I decide to jump in first, so I strip my shirt off, jump in in my bathing suit. I get back out and put my shirt back on. Couple minutes later, a friend comes up to me, says, "you go swimming?" "Nope, its raining under my shirt. Here's your sign."
TWEC21 7 months ago in playlist Comedy at it's best 4
I was at a hotel with my parents and I'd just been to the bathroom. I walked out to find my Dad standing there and he said "Are you done?"... "No I just thought I'd take a break".
ThisIsMalice 7 months ago 5
today my friend told me he had jet lag...i asked "where you flying?" but then i caught myself, and saying "oh no, you must have just been running really fast. I'll just take my sign and go."
WCindian2007 7 months ago 2
No santa was makin one last run! LOL!!!!
kewlninjataco 8 months ago 2
The perfect wrap up!
RosemarieGothic 9 months ago
do your legs hurt? nope. crapped my pants. LOLZZ
srobertson068 9 months ago
I'm thinking 'Oh dear god he can't say it, 'cause I'll start laughing.'
And sure enough he say's 'You get yer truck stuck?'
And god bless this trucker he did not miss a beat he said 'Nope I was delivering that overpass and ran out of gas.'
Here's your sign.
yaoigirl103 9 months ago 20
it took until part 8 to get to the "here's your sign" jokes. wow. whatever.
ToriiHunterFan 10 months ago
@ToriiHunterFan dont blame the uploader, blame bill, for not having them scattered throughout the show
Ir0nF1st924 9 months ago
@Ir0nF1st924 - wasn't blaming the uploader, big guy. i was blaming bill, i just didn't know the exact amount of time it took to get to them.
ToriiHunterFan 9 months ago
@ToriiHunterFan srry, didnt mean to come off as a jerk
Ir0nF1st924 9 months ago
@Ir0nF1st924 - you're all good, brother. no worries :)
ToriiHunterFan 9 months ago
i can never keep a straight face when he's telling a joke. my face hurts from laughing and smiling so much!
TheStarKiddo 11 months ago 19
i cried from laughing :D
SpeedJunky88 11 months ago
LOL all these are good. here's one for the road. me and my family were on a cross country trip (moving from indiana to new mexico) when our car breaks down at a fast stop in tucumcari... we manage to park it there and we go in. the guy asks "Here for a refill?" My dad goes "Nope just thought we saw the pearly gates." then i said. "And our car is the one visiting." He asks if our car broke down and my mom said "nope it's just sleeping during the day." lol my family love this man, thats why
KageGodo 1 year ago
Yeah, just ran out of gas! ! ! !
philgiesbrecht 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
or one time when i was 10 or so,i came home from school and realized that i lost my set of house keys. so after my mom got home, i ran back to school before it closed to see if i could find them. while i was looking in my locker, my cousin just came out of the gym from her basketball practice. she asked me what i was doin and i told her i lost my keys. thats when she asked "to your house?". i looked at her and said "no to my car!" heres your sign;)
reptilehunter7 1 year ago
or one time i when i was 10 or so,i came home from school and realized that i lost my set of house keys. so after my mom got home, i ran back to school before it closed to see if i could find them. while i was looking in my locker, my cousin just came out of the gym from her basketball practice. she asked me what i was doin and i told her i lost my keys. thats when she asked "to your house?". i looked at her and said "no to my car!" heres your sign;)
reptilehunter7 1 year ago 5
i got one. one time in elementary school, we were silent reading, when suddenly our principal walks in to talk to the teacher. he was walking over to him when he stopped and saw that i was reading. he stoped and said to me hey thats a great book, are ya reading it.? i was right about to say yes when i remebered bill. so i paused for a second and finally said, nope, i hope that if i stare long enough the book will give me the info i want! here's your sign.(he wasnt to happy about my responce) ;)
reptilehunter7 1 year ago 7
@reptilehunter7 l.m.a.o.
michaeldavis678 1 year ago
@reptilehunter7 ok that one's funny lol
apocalypticaluvr 1 year ago
we hit a deer with our plane.
.....where you on the ground?
nope! Santa was makin one last run!
14tbates 1 year ago 5
@14tbates is it a sad thing that i've heard this joke for years and i just figured out what he meant like a couple weeks ago?
apocalypticaluvr 1 year ago
@apocalypticaluvr at least you got it. ^_^
TheBloodypimp 1 year ago
@TheBloodypimp lol true true...better late than never. i pride myself on being a ditzy blonde cuz when i finally figure something obvious out and i tell people their reactions are the BEST!!!!! lol
apocalypticaluvr 11 months ago
no matter how many times i listen to this its still the funniest thing i ever heard. thanks bill, i didnt hit a deer but i did the next best thing and damn neer pissed meself
116joey 1 year ago 3
hahah thanks for posting these, you helped make a 8hr work day go by a little faster.
TracingPeeps 1 year ago
that man is one funny sonovabitch
C4V7R00L 1 year ago
I had 2 of those myself at a garage sale. A guy walks up and says "You folks having a garage sale?" "Nope, we just took everything outside and decided to hang out here for the day." Same guy also notices a guy with a treadmill we had sold in his trunk and says "You just buy that treadmill?" "Nope it begged me for a ride" Those were literally the 2 first sentences out of his mouth.
Chaoticasm 1 year ago 2
Side ways elevators? Willy Wonka!
TheElectricDreamer93 1 year ago
*Im sorry... Iiiiid11 has died of laughter...*
iiiiid11 1 year ago
the movie?
no the book
sucks when your kids use your material against you
haha
princebuddy08 1 year ago 3
I've got a heres you sign story:
A few guys i know was working setting up a camp fore a bunch of kids and they got hugry. So one guy goes in to the town and goes to Mc Donald's. And he orders like 14 big macs and the same amount of drinks and the girl taking the order says, are you going to eat here or take it with you?
vacklinge 1 year ago 2
@vacklinge hey if this was in the U.S. that is a legitimate question... We have some big people here.
Chaoticasm 1 year ago
honey, we just hit a deer with the airplane...
pause...
oh my god, were you on the ground?
nope, Santa was just making one last run!
Here's your sign!!!
movielady13 1 year ago
get off me dont touch me!
bro919 1 year ago
I actually have a 'Here's your sign' story. My mom is allergic to Wheat and Dairy, so she has to be careful about what she orders. So here we are - me, my mom and my sister, giving our orders to the waitress. My mom asks the waitress if they could replace the toast that came with her meal with a cup of fruit. My mom explained how she was allergic to dairy and wheat.
No Lie, the waitress then asks "Do you want white?"
XD LOL Funny thing is the waitress was serious.
Delisyn 1 year ago 4
@Delisyn Oh wow, that's a good one XD
DisturbedFan4AllTime 1 year ago
@DisturbedFan4AllTime LMAO it was funny as hell. The minute the waitress walked away my sister and I were rolling in laughter over that stupid question.
Delisyn 1 year ago
Comment removed
Delisyn 1 year ago
i gto a good one like bill's what are you doing joke:
what 3 words can totaly crush a mans ego?????
is it in
inuyashafan1324 1 year ago 4
@inuyashafan1324 OMG!!! I LOVE THAT!!!
loversingrandrapids 1 year ago
Lmfao "nope we put em ontop of the car incase we flip over" i love this!!!!
Countrylicious420 1 year ago
God I love this guy!!! Hilarious!!
ballerinawithbooks10 1 year ago
nope just crapped my pants OMG LOL
lillidepp 1 year ago
Haa! How the hell do you hit a deer with an airplane?
checkzack 1 year ago
haha! Barry Hilton's "Here's Your Sign" heard it abt 6yrs ago
xenillia5 1 year ago
i'm gonna play a song from Harry Potter.
Oh the movie?
Nope the book!
lol
Dixiegirl32492 1 year ago 4
this is so funney!!!!!!!!!
ARMY265 1 year ago
4:18 is my fav :DDDDD
oh dear god he cant say it... cuz ill start laughin
"didja get yer truck stuk??!?"
and god bless this trucker, with out missin a beat he says
"no, i was deliverin' that overpass, but i ran outta gas!"
murphy54000 1 year ago 5
FUxkin hilarius
abby222220101 1 year ago
i love comics who are chill like bill and tatter salad or chapelle. i hate comics who conplain about shit and seem angry at america anf shit.
shiroisan87 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
He walked away!!!
fudgemuffins27 1 year ago
The 'here's your sign' joke has nothing to do about putting signs on stupid people. It means that the what he says is implied, and to have to ask is stupid.
07alanhahn 1 year ago
Honey, we just hit a deer with our plane.
Pause
Good lord were u on the ground?
Nope, Santa wad makin one last trip
Hahahahahahaha
58ghzful 1 year ago 5
nope...just crapped my pants.
elevators go up? he walked away!!!!!!!!!!
tinkthefairy 1 year ago 2
I love this man, but what's up with the 'Here's your sign'?
S0a1v2a3n4n5a6 1 year ago
@S0a1v2a3n4n5a6 The joke is that you would talk to stupid people if they wore a sign around thier neck that said "I'm stupid." You say something stupid and you get a sign.
DarkSouske 1 year ago
@DarkSouske sorry. * the joke is that you WOULDN'T talk to stupid ppl...
DarkSouske 1 year ago
@DarkSouske Oh! Okay! Now it makes a lot more sense! Thanks!
S0a1v2a3n4n5a6 1 year ago
I love the here's your sign ones
HollyAnn123 1 year ago 4
hahaha, that's awesome, way to go, take care ;P
HERE'S YOUR SIGN ! XD
BuffonQ8i 1 year ago
Wonder what would happen if His wife ever saw these on youtube?
Deidara474 2 years ago
I don't think she would be looking for it in the first place.
littlemissxxx3 1 year ago 3
i was in a office building a couple weeks ago, i was standing at the elevators on the ground floor and the UP button is pushed. A man walks up to me and says "excuse me, are these the elevators that go up?" "no, these go side to side. the up ones are down the hall." HE WALKED AWAY! here's your sign. XD XD XD XD
the best here's your sign joke with the reindeer one.
metallicarocks911 2 years ago 38
Bill:
The movie?
Son:
No the book! Here's your-
Bill:
AH AH AH!!
totalsocceraddict10 2 years ago 12
i hear ya bill but only with my sis cause i just wanna stab myself in the ear so my ear can stop getting that KILL YOUR SELF feeling
Pamahana97 2 years ago
Here's ur sign, funny as hell!!
infernadrumer 2 years ago 4
First rule of Heres Your Sign: Never do it to Bill
MrMatto91 2 years ago 5
Bill is just so gifted with these Heres Your Sign jokes
MrMatto91 2 years ago 6
oh my god, where you on the ground? xD
MetalFreaknr1 2 years ago 3
Wow I got scared n the last one because I quit breathing because i was laughing so hard. XD
GearMonster1 2 years ago 6
@GearMonster1 i know right
poor rudolf
Pamahana97 2 years ago 2
good shit
08navychick 2 years ago
one day my bf n i was having a wrestling match his sister n brother n law went 2 the store they come back my bf just pinned me and his brother n law just walked n the house with his wife right behind him n he said "r u guys wrestling?" and without missing a beat i said "nope we decided 2 have sex with our clothes on." here's your sign
N2006 2 years ago 43
thts pretty funni shyt..lol..
Merry Christmas y'all & Happy Newyear
CowboyJyle 2 years ago
lol!
vaati102 2 years ago
That is hilarious!
MissLexiBeth 2 years ago
@N2006 you right for bill?
danhabsfan9 2 years ago
I've never totally understood what "Here's your sign" means.... I mean, I get the point of the jokes.....is it like "here's your sign that you're an idiot"?
Bill Engvall is hilarious. Easy top 3 favorite comedians.
CatPhish0815 2 years ago
Watch the Here's your sign music video and you will know
Bobby61189 2 years ago
bill has a thing where he thinks that people who say stupid things should wear signs saying their stupid...but yeah you've got the basic idea ^^
xXLadyTsunadeHimeXx 2 years ago
Unless you seen his much odler videos, he'd start with, "One of my pet peeves is I just hate stupid people. I think they should have a sign that says, 'I\m Stupid'. That way you couldn't rely on them." So when he says Here's you sign, meanaing you just went stupid. XD quite funny actually.
MidnightDestiny04 2 years ago 4
It means when he says "Here's your sign"
it means (on the sign) "Stupid."
vaati102 2 years ago
"do your legs hurt?"
"nope, just crapped my pants."
here's your sign
xXLadyTsunadeHimeXx 2 years ago
LOVED IT!!!
EminemLove24 2 years ago 2
i was going to my friends birthday party so i got her really nice raping paper that had her name all over it and she knew i was coming. im holding this gift in plain sight. her mother opens the door and says "youhere for the party?" i said "nope i found this as i was walking around and thought i would see who it is sapost to be taken to."
heres you sign.
CrazyGirl3264 2 years ago
Comment removed
CrazyGirl3264 2 years ago
My buddy and I were in his rock crawler jeep in traffic once, a woman in a little POS Accord opens her window and yells "Why do you need tires that are so big?" and my friend, college education shining through, yelled back "THERE NOT BIG, ITS JUST HOT OUT THEY SWELL UP!!!"
81broncoman 2 years ago 4
nope i was dilivering this over pass and i ran outa gas!!!! fuckin hilarious
NOheadshot 2 years ago 5
once i kicked a kid from school in leg when i was 10 or so and it messed up MY foot so bad ... i went to see the doc. and the woman there asked me what happened and i just thought ...god this is just too stupid to believe so i said ... ehm ... i kicked a wall cause it was in the way ......
her and my mom were rolling on ground after that xD
Boneher4life 2 years ago
"oh the movie"
"no the book" Priceless
dramagal19 2 years ago 14
My job in the store that I work in is Night time operator for a 24 hour store. My favorite question to be asked over the phone is "Are you open?' No we just the phone for the hell of it.
Venomsamurai7 2 years ago 4
I used to be a checker for a small grocery store. one day as i was handing a lady here change another lady walked up and as soon as i turned around she asked: "Are you checking?" i was like no i just come here and impersonate a checker to steal peoples money. BTW the one at 3:00 about the elevator was so funny.
Mattspartanwars300 2 years ago 4
I love the elevator joke. HE WALKED AWAY!!!!!
kingsize127 2 years ago 2
I fell from a roof one day broke my heal, ladders and equipment every where, paramedic stands there says "what happened did you fall?"
".... Nope... i was doing a motorcycle jump and missed my landing!".... Theres your sign!!
devilman187uk 2 years ago 11
i think the best one was the trucker
cop:"you get your truck stuck?" trucker:"nope i was delivering that over pass and ran out of gas"
jonnylaw5o 2 years ago 42
HERE'S YOUR SIGN!!!!
lilmike398 2 years ago 10
Are these the elevators that go up?
..no...These go side to side. The up ones are down the hall. HE WALKED AWAY.
Tails442 2 years ago 253
@Tails442 LOL.
gfcbarracker 1 year ago
@Tails442 best one ever
ZetalovesPosion2010 1 year ago
@Tails442 i pee'd myself when i said that. oh my fooking god i'm not kidding.
polsa 1 year ago
@Tails442 I actually did this one, and actually got the same response. Still hard to believe...
Siconyte 1 year ago
hahahaha "where you on the ground?"
"no santa was making one last run"
willnotdiemh 2 years ago 38
best part of this one i could not stop laughing
BASIC70 2 years ago
His son pwned him!
JOSHSNIFF 2 years ago 169
heres your sign
kristinws14 2 years ago 26
Is there a part 9?
Cryptidlover12 2 years ago 17
Nope - this is the end of this particular show.
gwr2004 2 years ago 22
Aw. That's too bad.
Cryptidlover12 2 years ago 18
@Cryptidlover12 Nope he just has a seizure in his right arm....heres you sign
GaaaDing 7 months ago