Cracked TV - 8 Great Foods For Explaining Why The Terrorists Hate Us

[shittyfagg]

'I think it would be cheaper to just round up all the poor people, and FUCK them in the ass'.

God damnit that was good.

[tantillumomnia]

90K!!! How come? This is hilarious...

[vadetatimus]

heart attack grill used to be just down the street from my house, but they closed a year ago

[Killmatic5000]

The double down is KFC's way of saying "we want to kill you as quickly as possible without using actual poison."

[jhoffmann132]

The worlds first metaburger... XD

[hoodabagah]

when he silently licked the chocolate, i laughed so loud

[OldWB1]

This is HORRIFYING! I really enjoyed this video.

[PcCAvioN]

I actually had the double down chicken thing from KFC. It was pretty good.

[jamasianman]

The line about the diamond fruitcake was probably his best line ever.

[chris49480]

I liked this vid during the ad, Swaim is the shit. Also I've seen this like 20 times.

[Munstallstodes]

That's putrid

[Nerf1maniac]

@lumpyprostate STFU just eat the chicken and the doughnut seperatly

[Nerf1maniac]

I tried the double-doughnut thing and it was actually pretty good.

[lumpyprostate]

@Nerf1maniac What... the fuck.

[princeofbohemia]

I feel ill. Please don't do this ever again. Also, you should totally do this again.

[JJJaakeeEe]

Blopper reel please.

[SilverSinspawn]

They serve the double down in New Zealand

[fightclub1537]

"I will FUCK YOU UP, clippy!"

[hurmpfff]

i really liked that double down samich

[fedoramonkey8]

The guy who owned the heart attack burger grill resteraunt died in his 30's from a heart attack....

[ringringbananarchy]

@fedoramonkey8 Nope. Jon Basso is alive and well. It was a spokesman who died, at age 29, and he died from pneumonia, not a heart attack. He was also 575lbs.

[Toyman1982]

ive never laughed so hard in my life LOL 

[redauir]

6:26 , Freaking hilarious xD

[trekkie441]

You know a guy is hot when you still want him while he's vomiting :D

[CommendatoreAndolini]

I just ate a Big Mac meal to this video at 2am in the morning. Like a bosssssss.

[trinityj1]

This is one of my favourite things ever. I've watched this ep so many times and it's never less funny.

[JunKazamaFan]

I don't doubt Nurse Mary's credentials, she looks like a professional to me.

[xombimonkey]

this shit is outdated. The double down is everywhere now

[ZeroPresicion]

Hmmm... i can really taste the bones

[ToxBoxProductions]

Every time I get McDonald's, I watch this video while eating it.

[General2528342]

i really hate your co-host..... =[

[VooDooXII]

Swaim's an Android, therefore his vomit is black. He's puking oil!

[rebeccaahore]

gotta be honest, the double down is pretty fucking tasty.

[NateSean]

@professorfedi Does the Leave Britanny Alone video count?

[Sc0rPi0n42o]

OMMFG I WANT a crispycream chicken doughnut WTF I WANT ONE NOW! munchies are bad mkaaaay!

[wbrice83186]

"This is the worst thing I've ever done"... but we thank you for it Mr Swaim

[Antipopularization]

Swaim has two christmas trees.

[ShadowAndFlame68]

Doused in Syrup...and he ate it <3

Damn you Japan! That one was ours!

hahaha

[sgtsmith141]

i love how caulk is in the food pyramid with the big mac and butter xD

[JustBecauseICan1000]

How can he still be sexy, even when throwing up?

[DrFridgeFondler]

The Double Down is damn good.

DAMN good.

[Zejex15]

"knock yourself the fuck out"...... awesome

[Wutwut1n1]

"I'm just a little (misanthropic)" and so am i

[andybpiano]

I dunno... gravy-sogged gum and chicken seems kind of appetizing compared to the "pizzarito" (Burrito + Pizza + Ranch dressing) that him and Abe consumed while watching some movie about nympho-dwarf-gingers (or something like that) and presumably under the influence of weed in that one video on Swaim's Youtube channel.

[wylde678]

@andybpiano It was "Dungeons and Dragons" they were watching btw

[lum2ina]

i think i'm gonna vomit..

[Nani101]

Oh God, that looked like it was absolutely PAINFUL to film!

Outtakes should be included more often, btw.

[CodenameBFG]

Double down is available south of the border. Think of it as the most tasty suicide note ever.

[BISlover544]

Damn, I have the same red bucket as Swaim. Except it's filled with Majong pieces and not...that.

[DroveThemInsane]

@BISlover544 Michael's Chicken Bucket Supreme?

[BISlover544]

@DroveThemInsane The holy terror itself.

[AdmiralMustard]

Michael is so drunk in this video.

[StanleyBradshaw]

They sell the double-down in calgary. F*cking EEEEEEW

[007NERF]

there selling that double thing in australia now

[KillerwithaHeart]

i was eating....

[hardnut567]

swaim? have you ever thought about running for president?

[lacvillesk]

3:48-3:54 The funniest thing ever said on Youtube, ever !!!

Michael Swaim, I salute you, you sexy-beast genius !!!

[fromdaghettowithlove]

Im in the processing of line up poor people.

[aestevalis0]

Seriously, where can I find the pictures y'all use?

[coolestpolak]

Lol, "Knock yourself the fuck out. I hope you choke."

[ConsPiracytheorykidd]

Does anyone know what the name of the song is that's playing at the end?

[BGH122]

God I wanna fuck you.

[Alenthas]

I have a man crush on Michael Swaim :D

[qbalaqss]

That was friggin' high pressure vomit.

[adept91]

Oh wow; if you look closely, you can see a ring on Swaim's left rinng finger. Someone married that guy.

0_o

[gpoop23]

@adept91 You're telling me you wouldn't? You're clearly an asexual freak.

[adept91]

@gpoop23 How'd you know; seriously though, I'm asexual.

I'm not saying I'm surprised, I'm just saying I never knew.

[gpoop23]

@adept91 Oh shit, sorry, man.

[adept91]

@gpoop23 It's cool; the whole deal is by choice, not some sort of other thing.

[stripysocks7]

@adept91 @gpoop23 just got his ass kicked. Oh yeah.

[BLACKIESBOY]

@adept91

Actually, there's a vid of him getting married.

He delivers his vows in the name of his Dungeons & Dragons character. Also, his wife is smokin'.

[Monkeyboy92037]

@BLACKIESBOY and where is this so-called vid?

[BLACKIESBOY]

@Monkeyboy92037

"6 Creative Ways to Ruin Your Wedding". It's a vid within a vid.

[Monkeyboy92037]

@BLACKIESBOY ok

[BOBgoesBOOM]

@BLACKIESBOY INVIDTION!!

[jek21]

Michael Swaim is my hero.

[RushFugu]

In Germany you can put as much stuff on your burger at Burger King as you want and affort.

Want a burger with 10 patties and two layers of cheese on each of those?

Some fucking psycopath in the kitchen will make that monstrosity for you!

Money might not buy happiness but it shure can buy crimes against nature. ;)

[DevanLund]

@RushFugu Sounds like a German version of In-and-Out Burger. Most people get something like a Double Double (2 patties, 2 slices of cheese), but the guys at In-and-Out will put together literally as many patties and cheese slices on a bun as you're willing to pay for (even if they have to construct a special container in order to take it home).

[dalpezzo13]

i'm american... sorry... seriously, i've heard of the heart attack grill. they have a french fry bar instead of a salad bar, and instead of dressing, they have lard. i am not kidding.

[CrownedWithLaurels]

"This is... the worst thing... I've ever done."

I nearly puked from laughing.

[ly3r]

i made it like 15 seconds into the video and i already couldn't stand this guy. his voice, his delivery. ugh.

[coolestpolak]

@ly3r You're retarded.

[iniras46]

@ly3r fuck you and your hat

[ly3r]

@iniras46

poor guy

[GuruZap]

That guy who laughed at the end sounded like Abe.

[sbobsp83]

Michael Swaim, I love you!!! (Do me, please!)

[cmonconan]

A strip of bacon as a "sandwich"? well i heard you americans deep fry a snickers bar but really it just is'nt right..

And dont get me started on that donut with chicken, i should be banned.

dunkin deathtrap with a mc cardiac XL and a heart whopper., great food just awesome..lol

great show.

[janusandjachy]

@cmonconan You're mistaken. It's the Scottish that came up with the fried candy bar. They have fried pizza too.

[cmonconan]

@janusandjachy really? what they could'nt find an oven? sounds very healthy!!

[dylasauruswrecks]

i laughed so hard when he pissed in the bucket like knock yerselves the fuck out i hope you choke

[mackandcheese1000]

im hungery now.......

[uniquemommy1984]

OMG!!! KFC does the same thing to me without being drunk!!! lol

[CommendatoreAndolini]

Just another FRIIIIDAY NIGHT AT THE GRILL!

[ILikeDeadBabyJokes]

The fruit cake lasted longer than the diamonds.

[JanderStrahd]

I can't find ANYWHERE that sells Jolt anymore. If I could, I'd hook it up to an IV.

[ootsonati]

@JanderStrahd

Have you considered trying some Jim Beam and Coke (the soda) + coke (the cocaine)/meth(the amphetamine)? It's almost the same thing, except you'll be drunk too.

[loneamaruq]

A jelly doughnut plus fried chicken plus honey? Does not equal food.

Seriously how often do we have to tell people this?

[XXn1927]

are you gonna try it? will it rip up my insides?

[alopexau]

I have cried laughing so many times at this series, Swaim's comedic timing and delivery is just flawless, this guy (and cracked as a whole) seriously deserves a TV series.

That shit-eating grin when he takes a bite of the chocolate chicken is priceless.

[13linkinparkluver13]

Get ready to get hungry... then, less hungry... Theeeen kinda queasy. Hey. Can we NOT do this? XDD

[GillianIsabella]

Aw... I fucking love this... and then we got to Clippy and I was eating cake...

Well fuck, there goes my fucking appetite. Thanks, Michael Swaim.

[betterthanmackenzie]

The title says that these foods make terrorists hate us, but the first 2 were japanese, so, its not really why terrorists hate us

[DonZabu]

If only this video had been made after Epic Meal Time started their thing.

[Mumriks]

This video is one of my favorite anythings ever.

"IT'S JUST ANOTHER FRIDAY NIGHT AT THE GRILL!"

[TeTroller]

This Is My Fav Episode Evar

[GFMarshallx1]

"Since they only serve the double down in the South and I'm not allowed back there" HILARIOUS

[BalmungSama0]

Why is it black?!

[AceofShadow]

The status foods aren't for rich people, rich people got to where they are being smarter then most, status food's for their dirty chokeable kids.

[SmashedRadio]

I want that Michaels Chicken Bucket Supreme

[ulutirmik]

02:39 Jared Loughner :)

[HelpMyNamesTaken]

Swaim keeps my faith in humanity going.

[CCCM89]

wait, the double down is only available in the south? Well, don't I feel special now...

[mackandcheese1000]

lol

[termanedieter11]

Swaim = magnificent bastard

[machinaclass]

Michael's laughter at the end is really kinda cute...

[SuperJohnPop]

@machinaclass shut up. no one cares.

[dancenekkid]

@SuperJohnPop shut up. no one cares that you don't care.

[SuperJohnPop]

@dancenekkid Shut up. no one cares that you think no once cares that no one cares.

[dancenekkid]

@SuperJohnPop Whoa! That just blew my mind.

[Zyphes]

My professional opinion as a vegetarian, is the following: BLARGHHHH

[reaperman2010]

4:22 - That's what she said.

[trinitrotuleneboom]

OMG. please, make a movie or something mike, i wanna watch you for at least two hours straight.... Then buy the DVD and watch you for 8 hours straight, eat, sleep, repeat, then throw up.

[Wheepwhoop]

Sad he didn't mention the Mcdonalds gangbang.

[ManiaKattaK]

@Wheepwhoop

Oh God, that didn't HAPPEN, did it?

[chaosfood]

I've seen that last clippy clip before. Huh.

[hermyslilsis]

Guys, I laughed so much my head stings. I don't even know...

[Ralokone]

why is it legal to eat gold

[wierdboy]

@Ralokone Why wouldn't it be legal.

[Ralokone]

@wierdboy because people place value upon the generally useless metal

it seems odd to east somethign that is considered to have value

[wierdboy]

@Ralokone Which is why people are willing to buy it and eat it. 

[Eoph]

Actually I do have something as bad as the Double down. I made it for emergency rations when on an all nighter in college:

Microwave mac&cheese (the kind with powdered cheese)

Steakums fried in butter

made into a sandwich and then fried in the steakums drippings + more butter. For an added treat you can fry some ramen up in the leftover butter.

[commissarusa]

@Eoph

Begone with thee, you abomination.

[Eoph]

@commissarusa hey its finals time, if i didn't waste my time coming up with ways to try and kill myself with food then what would i be doing? Studying? Drinking? Studying?

[Eoph]

I tried a McGangbang after reading DOB's article. It is great.

[lastXflowers]

were can i purchase ur used bucket?

[professionallewis]

swaim is the only man who can remain sexy whilst throwing up.

[robotpanda77]

All those people vomiting were prob watching this video.

[vetzal]

we just got the double down where i live, you can smell KFC down the block

[ChuckneyYT]

Even while doused in gravy and vomiting, Swaim is still the most sexually attractive man on the Internet.

[xOhLookItsAMYx]

@ChuckneyYT ikr? the amount of sexiness is equally proportional to the amount of funniness...

[13linkinparkluver13]

@ChuckneyYT ** android. XD

[Saberdile]

@ChuckneyYT Now, just gravy and it's 10x more.

[Basskay]

@ChuckneyYT And how.

[gamerx129]

plzzz plzzzzzz make more videos!!1

[Sitn0ntehprkbinch]

Damn you Japan! That one was ours!

[toanoradian]

Okay, this video is somehow incredibly sexy for me. When he said 'condoned by society' in that muffled-by-food speech it was as if I was hugged by a thousand smiling babies.

Then his subtle movement when pointing to 'two chicken breasts' was like shot down by a solid fuckton of Care Bear Stare.

But seriously, Swaim is one sexy, sexy man.

[Unimaginativ]

Yes. Yes, it is the worst thing you've ever done Mr Swaim. I commend you for it.

[poletheconvideo]

I love it how it said: "LOOK AT IT" just when I wanted to look away...

[GFMx1]

The double down recently came to Canada! watch our clogged arteries get even more congested!

[phimax100]

You can get the Krispy Kreme sandwich at most fairs.

[stefaniew777]

We had Krispy Kreme burgers at the state fair this year! *shudders*

[steviejustin]

I'm so pumped that the double down is finally in Canada. I gotta get right on that shit.

[youvegotsyd]

PS: I heard the double down was really good.

[youvegotsyd]

Love the video (and Swaim/Cracked/Those Aren't Muskets in general) but the title is kind of off since about half that food was only in Japan.

[AdmiralMustard]

A bowl is a depressing way to serve fried chicken?!?

[DonZabu]

@AdmiralMustard

The KFC Famous Bowl is.

[samueljones79]

Listening to John and Yoko during the Christmas part . . .

[foliageism]

I would like to order 7 Michael's Chicken Bucket Supremes, with 3 large order of fries covered in butter and lard, 14 Donut Chicken Sandwhichs, and a diet coke also super size all of that.

[vash2024]

Truth be told, the Double Down is disgustingly awesome.

[unorthodoxJ]

that donut thing honestly looked good

[donutmaster]

The BubbleTape was the best.

[freakoffreaks145]

For the longest time, I thought the whole Heart Attack Grill serving no-filter cigarettes was a joke. I just looked up the website, and IT'S TRUE. THEY HAVE NO-FILTER CIGARETTES.

A vaguely minor thing to obsess over, but, still. Kinda blew my mind.

[Trans7ucent]

Pissing in the bucket made this skit the best.

[eurasianchica]

I'm eating while watching this...

[Rotneybot]

@eurasianchica Me too...

[ThePhantomSafetyPin]

That Double Down is a REAL SANDWICH now, and they have it EVERYWHERE...

... Tell you what, if I ever feel like hating myself for a little while, and REALLY feel like I deserve nothing better to eat, I'll try one of those Double Downs and let you know how it turns out. Probably not very well, but still...

[TheDonutFox]

wtf...i was eating yogurt when you had to show us who would be joining you....

[TheChupacapra]

Last donut thing was.... :D :D :D

[wasted0space]

The eight most hideous foods condoned buh susuetuh