CHUCK NORRIS JOKES 7

[JordanClark96]

its all fun and games untill chuck norris kicks you in the face.

[mk1kidd]

When Alexander gram bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from chuck Norris!

[MrCoolioice]

I called chuck Norris a ginger and lived

[arslanbali]

chuck norris knows its chuck testa 

[stupidstudiosproduct]

chuck norris killed the radio star

[BaconIn3D]

If god can walk on water chuck norris can swim on land

[DVSPQN]

Chuck Norris once got into mortal kombat. He won with a stare.

[glenzo100]

Chuck norris CAN eat just one lays potato chip

[adam873873873]

chuck norris can do whellie on

a unicycle

[TRIXRUNNERZWK]

chuck norris can make a fire by rubbing to ice cubes together

[DalleDayul]

1st joke was great, whoever made that one is ACE!

[ChrissyOverkiller]

I got nothin Chuckish for you, I just wanted to tell you that you made me laugh my ass off, so... thanks >.<

[SkeetoJeeto]

Chuck Norris was born. Then world war 2 ended

[mrbbbt8]

Chuck Norris doesnt buy condoms there's no protection from mr.Norris

[thegreatestnoobtuber]

thanks for friend me

[MrSeabo10]

Chuck Norris wasn't born, He was just tired of wearing his mother.

[lenege4]

chuck norris isn`t affried of dieing dieing is affried of chuck norrising

[lenege4]

chuck norris isn`t scared scared is scared of him

[Sethrox0125]

Chuck norris once roundhoused a rainbow. Thats how we discovered skittles

[cobraglatiator]

no not relly just from comercials and all the jokes so that's the only way i know of himy just curios?

[dnamccauley1]

They wanted to put chuck norris's face on mt. rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard

[runescapeplox123]

CHUCK NORRIS IS A GIN

[Grinder815]

Holy crap, dannycraps subscribed to me :P

[TheTomboi666]

The boggy man checks his clostet for chuck noris

The dark is scared of chuck noris

[WildOnes20101]

Chuck Norris can Freeze Fire

[StarfyandVaporeon]

If Chuck Norris was a cat, he'd have ten lives.

[Vivosporevinnie]

Fear of spiders is arachnophobia. Fear of Chuck Norris is LOGIC.

[California4656]

Chuck Norris doesnt battle he just allows you to lose

[jdsporty1456]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice.

[cobraglatiator]

@jdsporty1456 i can to see one to three four infinite one to three for infinity so what da big deal? seriosly if he were that epic he'd come kick my scaly hide right now in to thekgvwaALek,.........ouch *crack* crack* *fixes head* now that wasn't very nice chul.gnesl, ok seriosly? whatekb;flksklrela COME ON!! RELLJABJJ STOP THAT YOU HDFBJSJ Y I GBKRRJS RAAAAAAGGHG *TURNS INTO GIANT MAN CROC* *crack* snap* *break* *raor* ahhh take that chuuuugh sorry exuse me HEY KNOCK IT OFF IN THERE!! -new come

[cobraglatiator]

@cobraglatiator rry ran o of space as i was saying YOUR SOPPOSED TO HAVE SUBMITTED I BEAT YOU FAIR AND SQUARE SO I GOT TO EAT YOU!!! NOW BEHAVE!!! before i regerjutate you and beat you up again oof! rrr ah eee thats it bleegh almighty push *WOOOSH* aw dang now i gotta find me some new dinner i obliterated this one o well atleast i can use his wha! hey they dissaperad hmm ooh it was just a perfect clone well you saw it ever need help with chuck call me or my associates card will be in next coment

[cobraglatiator]

@cobraglatiator [1-800 kiler croc vishis beast for hire 666 9 8 9 10 chuck busters don't worry imma profesional]

[Solidus0508]

The only reason God rested on the 7th day is because Chuck Norris let him

Chuck Norris lets us live so he can have someone to kill

Chuck Norris drinks lava like you and me drink water

If aliens were to come to earth, it would be to see Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris built Noah's Ark with one piece of wood and one nail

[TheBiosanity]

I don't think Chuck Norris is that great.. if he's that great, he could come right here, right now, and slam my face into my kehuef nkwsed

[Melkology]

This are all facts



[gamerdude1246]

Every time Chuck Norris whistles, a tornado is born..

[autyn56]

So... the great wall of china cannot be seen from space, it it could be, then every highway, free way or interstate in the world could be seen from space. The great wall of china is massive in respects to it's length, but it is also very thin. a string can be 6 billion feet long, but your still going to have a hard time seeing it from a distance away.

[narutosexydemon]

oh common chuck norris is just an actor if he were real he would com kick me in the fkshafhlkdshfd svkhfsdfgvj,ds fkesgfe;o cloeur hgvuj

[IC3DIC3]

The moon doesn't move, Chuck Norris moves it.

[republicofsandles]

The 2007 recession happened after Chuck Norris realised he didn't need to buy health insurance.

[republicofsandles]

Billy Joel didn't start the fire Chuck Norris did!

[republicofsandles]

Chuck Norris is innocent by reason of being Chuck Norris.

[thousanddollarsmore2]

Chuck norris once had a staring contest with a picture... and won

[thousanddollarsmore2]

there is only one person in the world who can beat Chuck Norris.... himself.

Chuck Norris can jump off building without dying because he has cammando pro

Chuck Norris Can beat himself in a arm wrestling competition

[DalleDayul]

@thousanddollarsmore2 impossible, no one can beat chuck norris at arm wrestling

[oceanside1322]

the virginity one and the wieghts one were good the rest were gayer then chuck norris him self

[killerfartz]

i am not afaid of chuck norris. OH Hi chuck i didn't mean it... tjsfhgvhdjvhhijhkijhvkijhjhvhx­bfjklhviuhjuvudfhvudiughvuihdf­uihgvudvdfhivuhidjfhvuivihuidh­viuhgfiughfhhdfihiduhvihdihviu­dfhiuvhdihviuhvuhfviuhdiuhv ow

[The009J]

he actully accepted accepted the expendables contract.... SO THAT EVERYONE CAN EXPIRIENCE HIS ROUNDHOG KICK......in threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee d!! (3d)

to bad no 1 will live to tell

[xmanyoda]

Chuck Norris cut through a hot knife with butter

[imafarmerinmalaysia]

you may be swiming in water but chuck norris swims trough land

[12345silentassassin]

god made the world in 1 day so chuck norris finished it



[donavon]

chuck norris lost like ten fights in his career

[buddingvideos]

chuck norris pissed in a can, today we call it red bull

[cobraglatiator]

@buddingvideos that's just discusting =_ = please don't eew

[TheAlecgator5]

@buddingvideos Red Bull gives you wings XD

[spacedeserter]

why r einstein and stephen kings the smartest people to walk this earth? (because chuck norris didnt roundhouse kick them stupid.) *he decided he wanted to see someone make actualy sence.

[mamyandpappy]

chuck norris invented rap when his heat started to beat

[MortalInKombat]

chuc norris invented chuck norris.

[OminesDragon]

chuck norris pissed in a trucks fuel tank... now known as "optimus prime"

[10Commentary]

Jesus walks on water, Chuck Norris walks on Jesus.

[xelbaga1987]

jason voorhees swore to not butcher anymore after that he was tipped that chuck norris gonna guest-star in his movie

[callumagoodall]

Why did the chicken cross the road, because chuck norris told it to

[rocketmik65]

Chuck Norris made the Immovable Object run away and the Unstoppable Force scared stiff by saying "Hi" to them.

[iowndudes]

@GoodMrMusic what, seriously? i think that most people disagree

[ojamadabomb]

jesus christ walks on water, chuck norris swims on land

[GoodMrMusic]

Who wins in a deathly batlle Chuck Norris or the man who never loses???

They Draw

[scullbashnash]

chuck norris's birthday is the dame as mine march 10 yay

o and do you know any jew jokes

[scullbashnash]

chuck norris's birthday is the dame as mine march 10 yay

[Chaosscouter137]

There are 2 things The Noid avoids: Domino's and Chuck Norris

(This other one is another version of the joke above, but i'm not sure if it's right)

Domino's avoids The Noid, The Noid, literally, avoids Chuck norris

[ShadowFistRoblox]

The U.S. never had atomic bombs, they just dropped Chuck Norris from a plane.

[rmc032988]

okay, i liked this one. thumbs up for you this time

[117CHAD]

if u ever ask chuck norris if he's made a mistake, they will be your last words

[zachsims520]

chuck norris can kill you with a poke

[505Torpedo]

chuck norris can put out fire with gasoline...

[noobnacho]

Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language.

[TheUchihaFreak]

Chuck Norris once hit silvester stallone so hard silvester actually spoke straight

[KeyToSorasHeart]

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick the earth

[KeyToSorasHeart]

People say Jesus will come again someday, he never left cu chuck Norris is still here

[srslyimnotaspy101]

Chuck Norris won a gun game in black ops using only a knife

[ilikegameconsole]

chuck norris let the dogs out

[NarutorRasengan]

Freddy Kruger had to initiate Inception to get away from Chuck Norris.

[TheShitstorm101]

cockroaches are afraid tht if theres a nuclear war theyll be the only thing left for chuck norris to roundhouse kick

[jacobra72]

chuck norris does not sing into youtube youtube sings into chuck

[thoughtbubble17]

Chuck Noris was told not to let the cat out of the bag so he let him out of the world into the sun.

[desmisser1]

Millions of people worship Oprah!! Oprah worships Chuck Norris!!!

[superheadfreak]

search "Find Chuck Norris" on the google i`m feeling lucky button

[petey371]

@superheadfreak tht's halarious it really works!

[xXDryDogXx]

OMG.. IF Chuck Norris dont grow hair on hes steel balls than where does steel wool come from?????

[MrPioPedrOo]

@xXDryDogXx From the balls his dick grew.

[267asdf]

the grim reaper is a term for chuck norris

[noiXion13]

When Chuck Norris moved to Elm street, Freddy Kruger starting having nightmares

[Romansssz]

@noiXion13 started* 

[crazygunner99]

@noiXion13 every1 thinks that chuck norris is immortal but i have been praktecing kung fu 7 more years then him and i will prove that... *irl* oh hi chuck NORRIUEFOBVDWSVIHS DFDIOUIBGVUKCXHJGVNIOADCXBHNIU­EDXHV INUADFMHCGNLIBADC SUDFGDSHIUGHSEIUDJGHFIDSUGHFIU­SEHTGUOIDSOFJSD0PUETO8YDFHUJGK­J

[rmack1205]

the dinosaurs were killed by chuck norrisauris

[aznigga5]

Chuck Norris doesn't win. He only allows you to lose.

[kingkoolisout]

technically it would be cheating if Chuck Norris was a pokemon. but you cant catch chuck norris

[NicoMajor101]

Chuck Norris was taking a leek on a mini cooper, it's owner yelled : Who the hell do you think you are, Chuck answered: I'm Chuck Norris. The owner pored gasoline on himself and set it on fire but Chuck Norris still roundhouse kicked him to the face

[NicoMajor101]

While Chuck Norris was hunting, a hungry grizzly bear showed up and began attacking Chuck Norris, Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear killed it self.

[NicoMajor101]

The reason why Pres. Truman dropped an atomic bomb on Japan, is because he thought it was more humane than sending Chuck Norris

[NicoMajor101]

When a man is kicked in the balls, his balls hurt.

When you kick Chuck Norris in the balls, your foot hurts.

[xXGoNcAzXx]

The Mayas sayd that in 2012 the Chuck-a-geddon wuz coming :3

[rmack1205]

@xXGoNcAzXx my joke but is said 2012 is the death of chuck norris

[xXGoNcAzXx]

@rmack1205 Lie, Chuck Norris will survive the end of the world >=D

[OhTheAverageOne]

Chuck Norris didn't cheat death, he kicked its arse fair and square.

[AYYANZAIN]

Osama Bin Laden told Chuck Norris, that his beard was bigger than his.... He lost the skin on his chin a second later

[0000Ares0000]

In Chuck Norris. Soviet Russia dies.

[kingXofXhell]

US forces didnt got osama.. CHUCK NORRIS GOT HIM

[kingXofXhell]

all paths leads to chuck norris

[kingXofXhell]

Chuck Norris Dont SUCK

Suck deos Chuck Norris

[shadeth90]

The best part of waking up is not folgers in your cup its knowing that chuck norris didnt kill you in your sleep.

[kim123ly]

when chuck norris farts he creates another universe

[parkoursteez]

when chuck norris dies .. the world ends .. but chuck norris never dies

[Solno12]

chuck norris sucks,

wait theres someone at my door

[36shadowboy]

normally i would kill u for dissing eminem,but ur lucky

[Jose028586]

Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.

Chuck Norris puts the laugher in manslaugher.

[datguyoverdere12]

Idc wat yall say eminem > chuck norris

[SIREGGTEZZZ]

Chuck Norris doesn't call the police, the police call him...

Feel free to make this joke better...

[DemicalX33]

Chuck Norris is not scared of Death, Death is Scared of Chuck Norris

[QuartrGuy]

Nobody knows what happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object...because nothing is irresistible or immovable to Chuck Norris.

[waffle1997]

cavemen discovered fire chuck norris discovered cavemen

[Meiacoffeestain]

if you can see chuck norris he can see you,but if you cant see chuck norris you may be seconds away from death

[Meiacoffeestain]

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper,but it wouldn't take crap from anybody

[Meiacoffeestain]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity TWICE!

[Meiacoffeestain]

Nobody knows if Chuck Norris enjoys a good fight....he's never had one

[TheBadoera]

in soviet russia footballs trow chucknurris.

[BrianSD229]

what happens when an unstopable force meets chuck norris... chuck norris stops it!!!

[BrianSD229]

why did the chicken cross the road to get away from chuck norris

[potctk]

@BrianSD229 but he didnt make it....

[SWDevilXTreme]

@BrianSD229 WHO LET THE CHICKEN OUT? CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!

[DeathIsNear09]

chuck norries can kill u with the air

[rockar203]

Hey Those Weren't Chuck Norris Jokes! They were FACTS

[kilkolio]

theres no such thing as werewolves and vampires cuz chuck norris extinguished them all

[kilkolio]

when chuck norris lost his dad over dinner when he was told to take his hat off

[kilkolio]

when a pope told chuck norris told him to pick on someone his own size he realized his mistake

[kilkolio]

chuck norris wasnt in the expendables cuz he was no expendable

[andrewpauls777]

Chuck norris doesnt call the wrong number, you answer the wrong phone

[Thegamerguy101]

@andrewpauls777 That joke was already done.

[gorillagashouse]

chuck norris is a faggit

[Baccy3333]

@gorillagashouse your a faggit

[gorillagashouse]

@Baccy3333 did you choke on some cock while u typed that?

[moreno5565]

Cuck Norris commited suicide. He survived

[CoolVidsGuy911]

@moreno5565 who's? cuck norris?

[MrSeabo10]

Chuck Norris took a square and roundhouse kicked it. The sphere was born

[MrSeabo10]

@MrSeabo10  *ROUND!!!

[dj123yo456]

chuck norris is a one man army, his hands are 100 thousand men. and his roundhouse kick is 5 billion men

[laneacolvin]

chuck norris makes mony by giving out roundhouse kicks

[dionbamazing]

chuck norris eats steel and craps machine guns......he also chew steel and spits fully loaded revolvers

[RoootyScoooty]

Chuck Norris is so awesome that he made a fire by rubbing 2 ice cubes together.

Chuck Norris is so tough that he once slayed this dragon but found out that it was his dick years ago.

[MegaXboxLegend]

@HUsoldier131 wow,ripping jokes off of EpicRapBattlesOfHistory.

[TheKeastin]

if god walkes on water chuck norris swims on land

[GunnytheBunny1]

When Chuck Norris dies, we won't say he died, we'll just say that he decided to visit a place we call heaven so that he can roundhouse kick people his own size.

[firasazar]

chuck norris and Usama bin ladin have 5 balls , cause usama has only one

[TabbiCat101]

Chuck Norris doesn't walk, the ground moves

Chuck Norris kicked Justin Bieber in the balls and stunted his puberty.

When Chuck Norris drinks coffee, the coffee wakes up.

Flying Squirrels only fly because Chuck Norris dropkicked the first Flying Squirrel.

alright thats all I got.

[donovanzimbelman]

chucks fists make the speed of light wish it was faster

[TheBaseballBixx]

my fav: When chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger! LMAO

[kelbzisgay]

haha dude love ur shit so funny!!

[HUsoldier131]

Chuck norris doesnt fight he allows u to lose

Chuck norris doesnt swim water just wants to be around him

He wears a black belt around the beard that he grows on his dick

[Gravity4Star]

@HUsoldier131 rap battles of history?

[waffle1997]

@HUsoldier131 got that from epic rap battles of history

[Her0logo]

Faster than a speeding bullet, stronger than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Yes, these are some of Chuck Norris' warm up excercises.

[DrAnimeArtistX]

Chuck Norris can smoke the like/dislike bar.

[sUop99]

Chuck Norris doesn't wet the bed, his bed is scared pissless.

[FWGE37]

Chuck Norris Once Got A Girl Pregnant From Phone Sax

[elmerhernadez11]

U CAN DEFEAT CHUCK NORRIS IF U CHALLENGE HIM TO A FIGHT HE MIGHT DIE OF LAUGHTER

[olhaque]

Chuck Norris and Superman once made a bet: He who lost an arm-wrestling match and to qear his underpants over his trouses

[returned11]

There not chuck Norris jokes, there chuck Norris facts. When chuck Norris steps into water, chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the water gets chuck Norrised

[KidDeuce98]

Anything about Chuck Norris is real...... Not a joke

[kamilkamien]

chuck norris made the angry grandpa happy