@shepspur81 "something tells me you are just one hard to please bitch"... is what happens when someone is smart and has watched a lot of movies from many places (not just USA makes movies) and not some dumb happy clown who swallows every garbage that the TV or DummyWood spew; 2012 is a predictable unidirectional flat character piece of garbage with great effects to entertain fat butts and compulsive popcorn eaters; and that was it's purpose "give me your money, watch and shut up". I don't buy it
I didn't think there would be a worse movie like this than Day After Tomorrow. Maybe this isn't. That guy did walk like 200 miles in super freeze weather in that movie without anything on his face and not turn into a snowman. Oh right. This movie made me shit blood when I got him.
I thought it was decent, but you are right about the religious references. I wanted to gag. My mother and my brother are religious, and I decide to go see it with them. After the movie, they kept asking if I was convinced that the second coming of God is gonna happen or something. I liked the suspense, though. It was predictable, but I still kinda liked it.
I'm partial to Emmerich's films, but I was still expecting better. I mean, the whole plot bit with separated lovers reunited was done before in his movies...and done better.
the end of the world....a subject that always works....either sarcasm or you dont know what you are talking about....my faiths in god. besides, who else would have given reason to the extinction of the mayan civilisation....:P
CRISSREVIEWS , im sorry but u have no heart u seem to think that every movie sucks ... HOW BOUT U MAKE A MOVIE THEN fucking bitch ..! / And yes THE LAST MINUTE SPEECH WAS HEART WARMING UNLIKE THIS PIECE OF SHIT THANKS
Meh. All good points, but, that movie was disaster pr0n, and not meant to be anything else. You might as well compare the art of South Park to Monet. I enjoyed the mass destruction.
Notice how they made the black guy look like the good guy who wants to save everyone else and they made the white guy look like the jerk who doesn't want any extra people on board. Nobody finds this racist at all but if you reversed the situation you know it would be on the news about how "racist" the movie is.
@vaccarovj And supposing both the guys were Caucasian or African, you'd simply overrule any aspect of racism in the movie. You're right about the intrinsic double standards in the western liberal media; but I really don't think there's any reason to connect racism to the arbitrary depiction of one random guy happening to be African and a total goody two-shoes and another random bloke happening to be Caucasian as well as wicked. On a side note, either way 2012 is certainly an utter fail.
@vaccarovj I think its because it's happened in so many other movies (the incidental black rapist/murderer/theif) that they're trying to portray blacks in a better light now. Maybe
no, it has some "redeeming qualities" like amazing visual effects, good acting and the directing is also pretty decent. Have to be fair when giving an *overall* rating, despite how much I hated the idea of the film, the plot development and so on.
I saw it and I noticed that they charged a load of money which was used to build the boats which led me to think of a solution; DON'T CHARGE MONEY WHEN IT'S THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD
Kriss, write a book or a screenplay yourself. You have an incredible sense of timeing and content and I think you would be a phenomal producer or director, unless someone else is responsible for directing yoru videos. I find it difficult to believe that you haven't been contacted by a major studio or a network to make a movie or series based on either comedy or science, your choice. Or a movie review show, for that matter. You have a stage presence!
effects were good, plot had good potential....but it was turned into a typical end of the world movie.
about the arcs....i think that in reality, no one would fucking care to take animals on the arc if there are so many people leaving behind and food is scarce (unless the animals were food)
id guess that a modern scientist would have taken the embryos or dna of each animal on the planet instead.
Dead on review, couldn't have said it better myself. The movie was filled with cliches. One of the things that frustated me the most and I knew from the beginning of the movie was that, Gordon, the husband would die so that he could make room for the ex husband. I only thought that he'd die a heroic death, saying ''My wife and you belong together'', but instead he got crushed... It didn't matter though anyway, the wife took it easy enough.
"Mayans were so smart and yet their civilization with kaploit"
Actually their civilization never ended. There are Mayans still today living in Guatemala and Southern Mexico. They never died off. They simply abandoned their buildings and old cities, probably because they just decided not to live in those cities anymore. It could also be that as their population expanded and more opportunity was expected else where, a desire to remain in the cities died.
1-The Santa Monica airport points west into the Pacific Ocean. They would have flown an uneventful 20 blocks over low rises to end up over the ocean looking down. If they'd flown east, they would have been over land
2-LA drivers have trouble driving in the rain. John Cusak, as an LA driver, being able to navigate the streets of Los Angeles during the Apocalypse stretches the suspension of disbelief further than any of the other ridiculous situations combined.
I never saw this film, but I read the plot on Wikipedia, and I personally believe that it would have been a better idea if the film ended with the sun exploding and destroying the entire Solar System, including Earth.
I like explosions and stuff, but the rest of the movie is not worth to mention.
i had to wake up my brother every now and then to stop his snoring (but as he had a broken rip on the side i was sitting, it was rather easy to wake him up)
That film was shit. Corny Hollywood shit. The best bit was, as you say, the bit where the ground was breaking up over the lava and whole towns got swept into the ocean. Quite impressive. It went rapidly downhill after that though.
I just saw this movie, and I would have rather spent my 2 and a half hours being shanked in the local prison. I could believe everything else in the movie, but air-lifting giraffe's through the Himalayas? That's going too far.
Yeah, she has a point here: the Maya allegedly foresaw the end of the world in 2012 and not their own end just a couple of years later ... Or, if they also foresaw their own end (where is it noted in their chronicles anyway?), they seemed more preoccupied with what will happen hundreds of years after themselves will have vanished centuries before ... Either way, it just does not make sense.
If you want to see a true exercise in awfulness, Transformers: Rise of the Fallen is the movie for you. I guarantee, once you have finished that piece of rubbish you will wipe a tear while thinking back fondly to 2012 as a masterpiece in character development, well thought out plot and riveting acting.
Also, if you like apocalypses, see Knowing. It has Nic Cage in it - the King of Overacting - but it's still a decent movie.
Nah fuck that man. When the world's going to end you people arnt getting on my boat. And only a short selection of animals. Im afraid cats wont be making it this time.
Yeah I had to see this too. The whole time I was thinking how similar it was to Independance Day. I didn't even know it was the same director till after.
All one dimensional predictable characters.
I also noticed all the bare escapes. In fact all the action was very unrealistic.
But yeah, the movie is aimed at little kids, or very simple adults.
I am usually more or less immune against illogic plots and whatever other incompetence may be presented to me at the movies. There is a saying among me and my friends "You can enjoy that one if you leave your brain outside of the movie theatre".
Watching 2012 hurt my spine.
This one line however made me giggle: "We are taking the Bentley"
Love your reviews (nice ankh, for some reason I was drawn to that ancient egyptian symbol :) but you forgot to mention Woody Harrelson, who was the only bright spot in this otherwise horrific dog of a film.
The other thing about the ridiculous close escapes is that you can't expect to randomly make decisions that will save your life over and over again if every other decision is a death sentence. Statistically, they should have been toast way before they got into the plane.
Danny Glover really fuckin' sucks in this flick..The highlight of the movie is Woody Harrelson when he gets wiped out on top of the mountain. This movie could be enjoyable, possibly if you slipped into a coma during this first 10 minutes.
The Mayans did not get wiped out, and they did not predict the end of the world at 2012 either, thats 100% Christian propaganda. Their calendar is cyclic, it doesn't have an ending.
@BaboonJihad Great point there. That's something that no one seems to ever realize, no matter how often scientists say so. I guess most Americans are too gullible to do so.
Sorry , but i want to have a nice and happy tale :).
About the movie, is just a shit in many ways and the good president is very cliche and i see that in other movies.
Make a review of District 9 or The Prestige , that are great movies ( the last one also becouse it has a Nikola Tesla ( with the Great David Bowie and a Quatic Suicide).
Not to provoke or anything, but there are much more intelligent movies than these Hollywood blockbusters. If you like sci-fi, you could try, for example, "THX-1138" or "Soylent Green". Also, I would recommend the movies of the South-Korean writer and director Kim Ki-Duk, like "The Bow", "Bin-Jip", "Samaritan Girl" and my favorite: "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring". And, for example, "Fireworks" or "Zatoichi" from Takeshi Kitano. Or something from Kubrick... possibly "The Shining"? :)
Special effects were even better at my theatre. While we were in the middle of one of the parts where the earth is getting kicked in the nuts, the ceiling caved in right behind us! I definitely think the movie could have been better too :)
i think this was more of a satire then a serious roland emrich film. as soon as i saw the shit covered limo and woody harleson's character i didnt look at it like ID4 or the day after tomorrow.
I disagree that this was pro-religious propaganda.
One moment that made me laugh was when all the Catholics were praying in Vatican City, and the Basilica falls on top of them!
Apparently, the director considered levelling Mecca as well - but thought better of it.
In fact, apart from the President, who also dies - I didn't sense that any of the main characters were particularly religious (barring the Buddhist kid). The goody-two-shoes scientist (& Cusack) seemed very much a secular humanist.
Yeahh!! I agree at 100 percent every word you said specially wh that sexy foreing (russian) accent you have. That accent makes me cazy about you beautyful. The theme is important and , let's face it.
It could happen, NOT LIKE IN THE MOVIE, of course, but, sort of. The movie is so over exagerated.
That movie was okay. The special effects were great. Nowadays people take so many things for granted. Just enjoy the fucking film and the special effects.
Yeah but, sometimes repetition and over generalizing a movie can ruin it. I mean these guys are getting millions of dollars to make a movie, surely they can think of a different plot and focus on some character development. xP
I think the movie would have been better served if it was cut to show all the action sequences smoshed together and scored to the "Benny Hill" music, quickly followed by the credits roll (as opposed to the audience's eyes)
Before this movie was made, if you had asked me what group of people were least likely to inspire a crappy big budget movie? The ancient Mayans would have been at the top of the list. Ooops.
Thank you for sparing me about such a shitty movie that I already predicted that was going to be shit anyway. :/ I mean seriously more retarded christian bullshit!?
When I heard the premise of this movie, and I saw the trailers, I decided that I would not waste any time seeing it.
That the guy who wrote this wrote The Day After Tomorrow, Godzilla, and 10000bc, proves that my decision was correct. (Will Smith made Ind. Day viewable for me.)
Criss: Thanks for exposing this steaming pile of crap for what it is.
The product coming out of Hollywood these days is similar in quality to what came out of Detroit in the 70s and 80s. Garbage.
HAHAHA all verrrryyyy true......BUT.....I just have to say IF the 2012 hysterical nonsense actually came to past (as badly transliterated, improbable and derived from poorly interpreted legends as it is) I would almost EXPECT the universe to make as little sense as a Roland Emmerich film........great review!
Perhaps conspiracy theory oriented people think "they" are brainwashing us with this movies just because they suck so much that one has to figure out a possible second intention in the plot.
@CrissReviews Please REVIEW _Woman in Trouble_, I'm sure you'd like it!!!!
I agree with mostly everything you say, except for the fact that some of the "inspirational" moments were actually quite good, if looked at w/o regard to how ridiculous the whole thing is. Other than that... it doesn't really distinguish itself from any other Apocalypse-esque film, and the fact that they escaped a billion close calls, I agree, was ridiculous. And at the end the family is close again, paying little remorse to the ex-boyfriend who was crushed to death.
Awesome review! It had a lot, and I mean a lot of spoilers but that was a damn good review. I'm still going to watch it for the effects but will be a hell of a lot more critical about the scenes and of how a few (possibly small) changes to the movie could have maid it an epic movie.
2012 wasn't that bad of course the theory is bullshit ...so why get bent out of shape? But the movie was so damn long after awhile I felt like I was being held hostage .
OMG your right much cliches... :/ but i wasnt really expecting all that much.. i even debated to waste my money or do something better with my time. good thing i went with the second choice... for once
Even though I don't believe in the 2012 story. It is interesting that the mayan calendar does begins when their civilization was destroyed. I mean, they predicted their own end of civilization with their calendar, and then foretold that the next end of civilization would be in 2012.
The problem was that when hollywood found out, they exploted this so much.
She's too smart :| i didn't think much when i watch and enjoy the movie :D
izmanq 1 week ago
You take movies far to seriously. There are quality movies, there are shitty movies and there are entertaining movies, and this was one of them.
mirex951 3 weeks ago
This woman amazes me. Shew is smart, cute and a freaking film critic too!!! I be she can even boil water too.
g2thumbs1 1 month ago
It would be awesome if you did a review on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 <3 :)
AeolosXlll 1 month ago in playlist More videos from CrissReviews
Am I the only one that enjoyed this movie?
ma675 2 months ago in playlist More videos from CrissReviews
I hate families. They suck.
qwer58j 6 months ago
Keep your atheist bigotry to yourself
shepspur81 8 months ago
2012 was a great movie, something tells me you are just one hard to please bitch
shepspur81 8 months ago
@shepspur81 "something tells me you are just one hard to please bitch"... is what happens when someone is smart and has watched a lot of movies from many places (not just USA makes movies) and not some dumb happy clown who swallows every garbage that the TV or DummyWood spew; 2012 is a predictable unidirectional flat character piece of garbage with great effects to entertain fat butts and compulsive popcorn eaters; and that was it's purpose "give me your money, watch and shut up". I don't buy it
DocStrange0123 5 months ago
Dr.Sabrosky (Jew),Director of US Army War College, I am 100 percent sure that 9/11 was Mossad operation:
Youtube,enter, "Military Now KNOW Israel did 9/11"
ismat45 8 months ago
I didn't think there would be a worse movie like this than Day After Tomorrow. Maybe this isn't. That guy did walk like 200 miles in super freeze weather in that movie without anything on his face and not turn into a snowman. Oh right. This movie made me shit blood when I got him.
Reip187 10 months ago
I thought it was decent, but you are right about the religious references. I wanted to gag. My mother and my brother are religious, and I decide to go see it with them. After the movie, they kept asking if I was convinced that the second coming of God is gonna happen or something. I liked the suspense, though. It was predictable, but I still kinda liked it.
HarlequinGypsy13 1 year ago
2012 could have been better but ID4 was to me the damn best alien VS earth film to me.
orlandobabe 1 year ago
I'm partial to Emmerich's films, but I was still expecting better. I mean, the whole plot bit with separated lovers reunited was done before in his movies...and done better.
megagrey 1 year ago
I wanted that family to die too!
Painfulldarksoul 1 year ago
u look like that french girl from the movie and aly from aly and aj
TaeVaiL3 1 year ago
the end of the world....a subject that always works....either sarcasm or you dont know what you are talking about....my faiths in god. besides, who else would have given reason to the extinction of the mayan civilisation....:P
daenumen 1 year ago
terrible movie.. nuff said, more of a laugh at this movie cuz it so fucking stupid
bCHumanBeast 1 year ago
Cute indeed....
Sirmau 1 year ago
Everything that comes out of Hollywood insults our intelligence. I don't even notice it anymore.
autumnsylver 1 year ago
CRISSREVIEWS , im sorry but u have no heart u seem to think that every movie sucks ... HOW BOUT U MAKE A MOVIE THEN fucking bitch ..! / And yes THE LAST MINUTE SPEECH WAS HEART WARMING UNLIKE THIS PIECE OF SHIT THANKS
jenica1929 1 year ago
@jenica1929 jenica, im sorry but you seem to think this movie review sucks, then HOW BOUT MAKE A MOVIE REVIEW
arachnophile01 1 year ago
WTF !! THIS MOVIE IS A 10/10 !!!
jenica1929 1 year ago
Omgeee u look like that FRENCH RICH GIRL IN THE MOVIE!
jenica1929 1 year ago
A 5.2!!! Are you insane! that thing should not have gotten anything over 2.5.
For the rest good review.
thedutchman01 1 year ago
The kind of a movie to watch without sound. Follow the story will only ruin the nice images ;)
Btw with that subject... no one can do a good movie, but they seem to have tried theyr best to get it worse!
Good review of this "waste of time" movie :D
Keep on!
elgraz79 1 year ago
Cleavage, it rocks.
jerman2003 1 year ago
Meh. All good points, but, that movie was disaster pr0n, and not meant to be anything else. You might as well compare the art of South Park to Monet. I enjoyed the mass destruction.
artman2oo3 1 year ago
Calendars don't end, they just cycle back to the beginning again.
PersonalPariah 1 year ago
Hey! Independence Day was an AWESOME movie.
Harrier233 1 year ago
Notice how they made the black guy look like the good guy who wants to save everyone else and they made the white guy look like the jerk who doesn't want any extra people on board. Nobody finds this racist at all but if you reversed the situation you know it would be on the news about how "racist" the movie is.
vaccarovj 1 year ago 5
@vaccarovj PAINT EVERY ONE BLUE
whyyoumadlol 1 year ago
@vaccarovj And supposing both the guys were Caucasian or African, you'd simply overrule any aspect of racism in the movie. You're right about the intrinsic double standards in the western liberal media; but I really don't think there's any reason to connect racism to the arbitrary depiction of one random guy happening to be African and a total goody two-shoes and another random bloke happening to be Caucasian as well as wicked. On a side note, either way 2012 is certainly an utter fail.
thephilosopherkartik 1 year ago
@vaccarovj I think its because it's happened in so many other movies (the incidental black rapist/murderer/theif) that they're trying to portray blacks in a better light now. Maybe
maddhattertime 1 year ago
The review content doesn't match the numerical rating given... sounds more like a 2 or 3 out of 10.
tml4873 1 year ago
@tml4873
no, it has some "redeeming qualities" like amazing visual effects, good acting and the directing is also pretty decent. Have to be fair when giving an *overall* rating, despite how much I hated the idea of the film, the plot development and so on.
CrissReviews 1 year ago
I saw it and I noticed that they charged a load of money which was used to build the boats which led me to think of a solution; DON'T CHARGE MONEY WHEN IT'S THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD
LordXenocide 1 year ago 2
Very accurate review and though I'd normally like write something more intelligent.. it's late so I'm just gonna say this film was complete bollocks
mythinktube 1 year ago
asdfgh
NeCacaluXuxultic 1 year ago
Kriss, write a book or a screenplay yourself. You have an incredible sense of timeing and content and I think you would be a phenomal producer or director, unless someone else is responsible for directing yoru videos. I find it difficult to believe that you haven't been contacted by a major studio or a network to make a movie or series based on either comedy or science, your choice. Or a movie review show, for that matter. You have a stage presence!
jerrinfla 1 year ago
effects were good, plot had good potential....but it was turned into a typical end of the world movie.
about the arcs....i think that in reality, no one would fucking care to take animals on the arc if there are so many people leaving behind and food is scarce (unless the animals were food)
id guess that a modern scientist would have taken the embryos or dna of each animal on the planet instead.
but independence day and bad? why?
UninstallingWindows 1 year ago
Rolling my eyes hurts because of allergies... oww...
DarknessDragon11 1 year ago
Dead on review, couldn't have said it better myself. The movie was filled with cliches. One of the things that frustated me the most and I knew from the beginning of the movie was that, Gordon, the husband would die so that he could make room for the ex husband. I only thought that he'd die a heroic death, saying ''My wife and you belong together'', but instead he got crushed... It didn't matter though anyway, the wife took it easy enough.
L1mb0 1 year ago
You analysis about Mayans is incorrect.
"Mayans were so smart and yet their civilization with kaploit"
Actually their civilization never ended. There are Mayans still today living in Guatemala and Southern Mexico. They never died off. They simply abandoned their buildings and old cities, probably because they just decided not to live in those cities anymore. It could also be that as their population expanded and more opportunity was expected else where, a desire to remain in the cities died.
Tom101229 1 year ago
It is similar to how you Dacians ended up taking up Latin as your language instead of continuing to speak Dacian or Greek.
Tom101229 1 year ago
Yup, completely correct! But hey, the special effects were amazing!
SaraphXIII 1 year ago
The Mayans also believed that the world was on the back of a turtle too.
TheCanadianDude 1 year ago
fun facts about LA:
1-The Santa Monica airport points west into the Pacific Ocean. They would have flown an uneventful 20 blocks over low rises to end up over the ocean looking down. If they'd flown east, they would have been over land
2-LA drivers have trouble driving in the rain. John Cusak, as an LA driver, being able to navigate the streets of Los Angeles during the Apocalypse stretches the suspension of disbelief further than any of the other ridiculous situations combined.
macafeek215 1 year ago
LoL so true about the close calls i said the same thing xD
madzane94 1 year ago
nice titties
jordansb8 1 year ago
I never saw this film, but I read the plot on Wikipedia, and I personally believe that it would have been a better idea if the film ended with the sun exploding and destroying the entire Solar System, including Earth.
Scifimaster92 1 year ago
yeah that movie pretty much sucked sweaty monkey balls.. I kinda liked godzilla though, but im kinda godzilla-biased.
GovmentTookMaBaby 1 year ago
I lol'd
571jans 1 year ago
Sounds almost as dumb as Jacksons Lord of The Rings
Almost every elevated concept or motive in Tolkiens books was switched to something more, ahem, elemental in the films.
I cant believe I bought those fucking discs. The long versions.
12stringsforme 1 year ago
Criss you think 2012 was bad I just sat through another one of your youtube videos.
TampaFlorida813 1 year ago
Great review and i agree with it to the fullest.
I like explosions and stuff, but the rest of the movie is not worth to mention.
i had to wake up my brother every now and then to stop his snoring (but as he had a broken rip on the side i was sitting, it was rather easy to wake him up)
Hagenfels 1 year ago
Perfect review.
That film was shit. Corny Hollywood shit. The best bit was, as you say, the bit where the ground was breaking up over the lava and whole towns got swept into the ocean. Quite impressive. It went rapidly downhill after that though.
AimbotCity 1 year ago
I rented this video and fell asleep half way through.
gizmo2084 1 year ago
I just saw this movie, and I would have rather spent my 2 and a half hours being shanked in the local prison. I could believe everything else in the movie, but air-lifting giraffe's through the Himalayas? That's going too far.
boredinidaho 1 year ago
Yeah, she has a point here: the Maya allegedly foresaw the end of the world in 2012 and not their own end just a couple of years later ... Or, if they also foresaw their own end (where is it noted in their chronicles anyway?), they seemed more preoccupied with what will happen hundreds of years after themselves will have vanished centuries before ... Either way, it just does not make sense.
francsturz 1 year ago
u dnt knw how to make reviews..do somethning else..
hafeez587 1 year ago
I might have watched the film just too form my own opinion... but definitely not now.
That review was everything I need to know about the film!
Ark? A flipping ark? Jeez!
SAHBfan 1 year ago
lol i wanted to watch it,just to see what the big fuss is about,now i'm having serious second thoughts. TNX Chris.
MrBoomable 1 year ago
yeah, I didn't get the ark part
lashkaretoiba 1 year ago
amanda peet is not a good actress.
lashkaretoiba 1 year ago
They could have done it so much better. I think they rely to much on special effects now.
robertraybishop 1 year ago
I agree!!!
I saw this film at a dollar theater, and that's about what it was worth.
WellsBrothers 1 year ago
If you want to see a true exercise in awfulness, Transformers: Rise of the Fallen is the movie for you. I guarantee, once you have finished that piece of rubbish you will wipe a tear while thinking back fondly to 2012 as a masterpiece in character development, well thought out plot and riveting acting.
Also, if you like apocalypses, see Knowing. It has Nic Cage in it - the King of Overacting - but it's still a decent movie.
And good show. :) Great review.
AJustPrimate 1 year ago
All the Roland Emmerich films you mentioned, including 2012, were garbage, except for Independence Day.
I D is a classic! I can't imagine why you would think otherwise. I watch it every time it's on cable!
CamronJLB 1 year ago
Awesome review.
spankthereasoner 1 year ago
Nah fuck that man. When the world's going to end you people arnt getting on my boat. And only a short selection of animals. Im afraid cats wont be making it this time.
Noah2112 1 year ago
Yeah I had to see this too. The whole time I was thinking how similar it was to Independance Day. I didn't even know it was the same director till after.
All one dimensional predictable characters.
I also noticed all the bare escapes. In fact all the action was very unrealistic.
But yeah, the movie is aimed at little kids, or very simple adults.
Hey they made 6 Rocky movies right?
Sperminator10000 1 year ago
The whole movie can be summed up by, "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"
darktoadthesticky 1 year ago
I haven't seen the movie (and I suspected it was crap) and now you've saved me from wasting 2.5 hours of my time. Thanks !
AlexStrugariu 1 year ago
I am usually more or less immune against illogic plots and whatever other incompetence may be presented to me at the movies. There is a saying among me and my friends "You can enjoy that one if you leave your brain outside of the movie theatre".
Watching 2012 hurt my spine.
This one line however made me giggle: "We are taking the Bentley"
ashraghil 1 year ago
Love your reviews (nice ankh, for some reason I was drawn to that ancient egyptian symbol :) but you forgot to mention Woody Harrelson, who was the only bright spot in this otherwise horrific dog of a film.
The other thing about the ridiculous close escapes is that you can't expect to randomly make decisions that will save your life over and over again if every other decision is a death sentence. Statistically, they should have been toast way before they got into the plane.
oneguycoding 1 year ago
Not to mention they ripoff bible and try to pass it off as realistic.
HaT223 2 years ago
The logic behind movie was so bad that it made the movie just stupid.
HaT223 2 years ago
I still can't bring myself to watch this movie. It doesn't look like I'm missing much (not that I thought I was).
davism97 2 years ago
ha. your so funny :)
sharpydeath 2 years ago
Danny Glover really fuckin' sucks in this flick..The highlight of the movie is Woody Harrelson when he gets wiped out on top of the mountain. This movie could be enjoyable, possibly if you slipped into a coma during this first 10 minutes.
sleepless4201 2 years ago
The Mayans did not get wiped out, and they did not predict the end of the world at 2012 either, thats 100% Christian propaganda. Their calendar is cyclic, it doesn't have an ending.
BaboonJihad 2 years ago
@BaboonJihad Great point there. That's something that no one seems to ever realize, no matter how often scientists say so. I guess most Americans are too gullible to do so.
Scifimaster92 1 year ago
ugh i saw the trailer for this and i was like blow me i wouldn't watch that for a free lemon soda
livelovelifeism 2 years ago
Sorry , but i want to have a nice and happy tale :).
About the movie, is just a shit in many ways and the good president is very cliche and i see that in other movies.
Make a review of District 9 or The Prestige , that are great movies ( the last one also becouse it has a Nikola Tesla ( with the Great David Bowie and a Quatic Suicide).
DraskyVanderhoff 2 years ago
Comment removed
nebnubs 2 years ago
On December 21, 2012 the world will end and you and all you know will perish.
Send all of your money to me and I will share my secret of survival with you. For wiring instructions, please contact me.
And do you really value your money more than your life and the lives of your loved ones?
dprague 2 years ago
Hey! I loved Independence Day and Day After Tomorrow!
Well... okay... I liked them as mindless, stupid fun to watch when you're seriously stoned...
jimmyRRpage 2 years ago
I never saw the movie because I figured it would be stupid, but wow... it seems they undershot even my very low expectations.
teylos 2 years ago
THE ARK????????????????
hahahahhaahhahaahahahahah
kidding me,i really need to see it now criss hahahaha...ah that sux..THE ark
IceysMoment 2 years ago
Not to provoke or anything, but there are much more intelligent movies than these Hollywood blockbusters. If you like sci-fi, you could try, for example, "THX-1138" or "Soylent Green". Also, I would recommend the movies of the South-Korean writer and director Kim Ki-Duk, like "The Bow", "Bin-Jip", "Samaritan Girl" and my favorite: "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring". And, for example, "Fireworks" or "Zatoichi" from Takeshi Kitano. Or something from Kubrick... possibly "The Shining"? :)
Baratgab 2 years ago
some one please stop this bitch
39rafiq 2 years ago
oh come on
IceysMoment 2 years ago
Special effects were even better at my theatre. While we were in the middle of one of the parts where the earth is getting kicked in the nuts, the ceiling caved in right behind us! I definitely think the movie could have been better too :)
miknambr 2 years ago
nice neclace
Jamiree7 2 years ago
i think this was more of a satire then a serious roland emrich film. as soon as i saw the shit covered limo and woody harleson's character i didnt look at it like ID4 or the day after tomorrow.
Raphael2885 2 years ago
haha - that must've been after 5 minutes!
jazzx251 2 years ago
I disagree that this was pro-religious propaganda.
One moment that made me laugh was when all the Catholics were praying in Vatican City, and the Basilica falls on top of them!
Apparently, the director considered levelling Mecca as well - but thought better of it.
In fact, apart from the President, who also dies - I didn't sense that any of the main characters were particularly religious (barring the Buddhist kid). The goody-two-shoes scientist (& Cusack) seemed very much a secular humanist.
jazzx251 2 years ago
2012!!!
screenwriterOscar 2 years ago
Yeahh!! I agree at 100 percent every word you said specially wh that sexy foreing (russian) accent you have. That accent makes me cazy about you beautyful. The theme is important and , let's face it.
It could happen, NOT LIKE IN THE MOVIE, of course, but, sort of. The movie is so over exagerated.
TheRichter79 2 years ago
@Criss - AGREED...
citizen762 2 years ago
sucked more than jesus on a hot date. did you mean for that to be ambiguous?
CommentAndAQuestion 2 years ago 2
This comment has received too many negative votes show
@CommentAndAQuestion.
I hope the "jesus" you're talkin about, is not THE CRIST cuz then, you're SO FULL OF CRAP!!
I mean, regardless of ur believes,
How dare u talk like that about JESUS U stupid arrogant freak!!??
Very brave to say this over the web when no one can kick your sick ass.
If the world is so fucked up, it's cuz unsensible people like you without respect of anything exist.
Cuz people like you brainLESS, "thinks" comments like this are FUN when actually are full of stupidity.
TheRichter79 2 years ago
"How dare u talk like that about JESUS U stupid arrogant freak!!??
Very brave to say this over the web when no one can kick your sick ass.
If the world is so fucked up, it's cuz unsensible people like you without respect of anything exist."
Wow, you sound like such a humble Christian. I'm sure Jesus would be proud (if he weren't made up).
scarshapedstar 2 years ago
That movie was okay. The special effects were great. Nowadays people take so many things for granted. Just enjoy the fucking film and the special effects.
dudewhatisthepoint 2 years ago
Yeah but, sometimes repetition and over generalizing a movie can ruin it. I mean these guys are getting millions of dollars to make a movie, surely they can think of a different plot and focus on some character development. xP
afterhumanity333 2 years ago
Criss, you're right.
lefty6584 2 years ago
"They are a family. And the kids are cute and shit."
Awesome line in it's own right, but your accent makes it ten times better.
Great Review. =)
widowspeekfreak 2 years ago 22
you should be doing this on television but the movie sponsers would never let that happen. 5 stars
rpVerlaine 2 years ago
Yes It was totally crap, only stayed for about an hour. Special effects were way over the top.
legallymedicated 2 years ago
I think the movie would have been better served if it was cut to show all the action sequences smoshed together and scored to the "Benny Hill" music, quickly followed by the credits roll (as opposed to the audience's eyes)
nubius 2 years ago
It's a movie JUST to watch the special effects. They're pretty good, actually. If you watch it in that mindset, you'll enjoy the movie.
Orion8472 2 years ago
LOL well, that's about what I expected when I heard the name. Thank you for being brave enough to see it and save me from 2.5 hours of torture.
JustAnotherMutant 2 years ago
agreed 110%
Nathan8885 2 years ago
Another awesome review! Perfect review!
jeremyz23 2 years ago
Sarah Palllin could be president of the united states in 2012.Still think the world won't end?
harkying99 2 years ago
Before this movie was made, if you had asked me what group of people were least likely to inspire a crappy big budget movie? The ancient Mayans would have been at the top of the list. Ooops.
Prytonis 2 years ago
Thank you for sparing me about such a shitty movie that I already predicted that was going to be shit anyway. :/ I mean seriously more retarded christian bullshit!?
WelcomeOniveraProd 2 years ago 2
Yes. The plot was down hill from there.
Orion8472 2 years ago
PLEASE do a review of Bad Taste by Peter Jackson. :)
tomwash1 2 years ago
When I heard the premise of this movie, and I saw the trailers, I decided that I would not waste any time seeing it.
That the guy who wrote this wrote The Day After Tomorrow, Godzilla, and 10000bc, proves that my decision was correct. (Will Smith made Ind. Day viewable for me.)
Criss: Thanks for exposing this steaming pile of crap for what it is.
The product coming out of Hollywood these days is similar in quality to what came out of Detroit in the 70s and 80s. Garbage.
PFWoody488 2 years ago
Yeah, . . . they should have died several times over in that movie. It was quite a bit ridiculous in that.
So yeah, very good effects, . . . but one of the worsts plots . . . . . and the arks? Yeah, Barf.
Orion8472 2 years ago
HAHAHA all verrrryyyy true......BUT.....I just have to say IF the 2012 hysterical nonsense actually came to past (as badly transliterated, improbable and derived from poorly interpreted legends as it is) I would almost EXPECT the universe to make as little sense as a Roland Emmerich film........great review!
PariahOlympics 2 years ago
noooooooooo, dont hate on Independence Day :(
ohhhshitson 2 years ago
Recommend watching youtube lecture videos by Carl Calleman and Ian Lungold.
/watch?v=oPQnggFKbPo
/watch?v=h1tY5LxbFHU
yo1dude1man 2 years ago
I would buy a DVD that was an Emerick greatest hits.
That be pretty good, eh?
Just all the cool destruction without any of the talky, plotty stuff.
kingsdun 2 years ago
Mayans predict the end of 9 count cycles on 12/21/2012, but never stated it would be the END OF THE WORLD.
So this movie was pure bullshit and didn't waste my money on it.
yo1dude1man 2 years ago 2
I think you look like Alyson Michalka a little bit... am I alone in this?
ActYourButtOff 2 years ago
thanks for confirming my suspicions about this movie. If it's half as bad as independence day I need never see it
xXarkyleXx 2 years ago
woooow, i'm not watching it now, lol
SpizzTrizz 2 years ago
great revue !!
pinzgauernorcal 2 years ago
Perhaps conspiracy theory oriented people think "they" are brainwashing us with this movies just because they suck so much that one has to figure out a possible second intention in the plot.
@CrissReviews Please REVIEW _Woman in Trouble_, I'm sure you'd like it!!!!
code933k 2 years ago
Hey! I liked The Day After Tomorrow... but the rest you said, yeah, pretty damn turrible :)
ReverendJasmine 2 years ago
I agree, this movie was total shit. You pretty much hit the nail on the head Criss ^^
Raistlin13Majere 2 years ago
I agree with mostly everything you say, except for the fact that some of the "inspirational" moments were actually quite good, if looked at w/o regard to how ridiculous the whole thing is. Other than that... it doesn't really distinguish itself from any other Apocalypse-esque film, and the fact that they escaped a billion close calls, I agree, was ridiculous. And at the end the family is close again, paying little remorse to the ex-boyfriend who was crushed to death.
Anyway good review!
FollyxXxFallen 2 years ago
great review! i didn't even waste my time seeing it.
edgarae1 2 years ago
He was not a nice governemnt guy on Serenity
darkwhitedirewolf 2 years ago
Awesome review! It had a lot, and I mean a lot of spoilers but that was a damn good review. I'm still going to watch it for the effects but will be a hell of a lot more critical about the scenes and of how a few (possibly small) changes to the movie could have maid it an epic movie.
Nine89 2 years ago
2012 wasn't that bad of course the theory is bullshit ...so why get bent out of shape? But the movie was so damn long after awhile I felt like I was being held hostage .
Deepstarr7020 2 years ago
HA!
Nice review, love your comment about the end of the world imagery (kicking the world in the nuts lol)
Yeah, movie was reasonably enjoyable escapism as long as you disengage your brain.
Oliver Platt = awesomeness in every role he is in.
eltzar72 2 years ago
OMG your right much cliches... :/ but i wasnt really expecting all that much.. i even debated to waste my money or do something better with my time. good thing i went with the second choice... for once
sakura2390 2 years ago
10,000 b.c was a good movie
deivlhunter88 2 years ago
So, so, like, the myans were supposed to know about the end of the world, yet their decedents mow my lawn?
vxbinaca 2 years ago
It's easier to live in america with lower IQ than elsewhere, how else can one bear Bushes and future Palins etc...
RiemDouce 2 years ago
Thanks for suffering through this. No I am certain that I will keep it at a VERY safe distance.
;-)
timeofwonder2009 2 years ago
Would make a great theme park ride...lol
mad8london247 2 years ago
I loved "it tears it apart and kicks it in the nuts". Well put.
The trailer for 2012 pretty much showed you the whole movie.
GoblinXXX 2 years ago
If I alredy have a tail, will giving five stars cause it to shrink?
I'll wait here for your reply.....
wdgeo 2 years ago
5stars for you for Valentines Day!Love you Criss!Be my Valentine!?!Great review too... by the way!
mminc2112 2 years ago
She has a valentine.
lazyperfectionist1 2 years ago
Even though I don't believe in the 2012 story. It is interesting that the mayan calendar does begins when their civilization was destroyed. I mean, they predicted their own end of civilization with their calendar, and then foretold that the next end of civilization would be in 2012.
The problem was that when hollywood found out, they exploted this so much.
yusbarrett 2 years ago
i think my movie is better watch the trailer hhhhhhhhhhhh
djabraham200 2 years ago
ummm. fart u noob?
ipwnm00bs 2 years ago
That movie wass all like n00biz ;O
Spiff144 2 years ago
i loved the movie, made me feel like it was a theme park ride like in universal studios or something. aside the special effects yea the movie sucks.
btw i refuse to rate.....i want the tail : )
adafuns 2 years ago
Great Review. It's what i expected from the film after seeing the other films made by him.
You got my sub. hope to see more from you soon.
TwilightsView 2 years ago
Great review, But I wanna grow a tail :(
Nightmare060 2 years ago
I liked it.
Movie deserves at least 3/5 stars
especially compared to other apocalypse movies.
HPT50 2 years ago
Zomgits Criss is back! Lol. Now I must see this movie!!!
BorrahAlive 2 years ago
I thought the same this about 2012 acting good, effects good, wrighting bad.
IrishClanKing 2 years ago
Would you say this movie is worse than "Disaster Movie"?
Justinfhtube 2 years ago
The world will end in 2012 if America votes the Sarah Palin/Glenn Beck ticket in the white house
axisaudio 2 years ago 3
Also Greg Bear's novel The Forge of God would've made for more awesome end-of-world movie.
comegetthis2 2 years ago
Is it weird that by the end of the movie you sympathize most with Oliver Platt's character Carl Anheuser.
comegetthis2 2 years ago
To quote 2012: The Abridged Script
"CHIWETEL EJIOFOR
We have to let these people on board! My cabin is large enough for fifty people!
OLIVER PLATT
Youre an idiot, we dont have enough food for that many people. Seriously, why am I the bad guy? Im the only person thinking fucking rationally."
comegetthis2 2 years ago
Great review, so very very true.
straightfromschool 2 years ago
this is so true.
awesome review!
mbnp1701 2 years ago
really? i thought the world would end because Sarah Palin is running for president on 2012 =/
Aranel1200 2 years ago
harsh
religionOFFENDSme 2 years ago
I'm not a big fan of Roland Emmerich's work, even if I have to admit that I loved Stargate. Apart from that... I don't like disaster movies.
LVskywalker 2 years ago
nice
DarkestPower 2 years ago
But I liked Independence Day!
(Sort of.)
deedubya286 2 years ago