Relationships.wmv

[MrMarkafisher]

You do some excellent video's, they hit the mark & are spot on keep it up.

[MSVlogSupport]

Thank you that really means a lot to me. I try to be real and talk about things that can be hard but that needs to be said.

I am always looking for ideas for new topics so feel free to let me know if there is something you would like covered.

Andrea

[Alexknobsob]

Thanks

[MSVlogSupport]

Just wanted to thank everyone for the positive feedback on this topic.

I was concerned about doing it but it is a part of our lives.

You all are great support for me and each other.

Love to you all Andrea

[2muchlivin2do]

This has been such an "issue" of mine also. My husband is wonderful, but not the "norm" my neuro tells me. He's seen a lot of husbands leave their wives once their diagnosed. Still...things bother me...I'm not the wife I've always "pictured being". Asking for help from my friends is also extremely hard for me because I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE HELPER, HELLO???....NOT THE ONE NEEDING HELP! It helps having friends who can say, "SHUT UP, I'M TAKING YOU TO YOUR APPOINTMENT!"! because they know me!

[donotconcede]

I am the same way. People say "let me know if you need help." Well that is a very hard thing to do. My sister just says "i'm coming over to help you clean. The friend i spoke of in the video, she says 'if you need help shoveling, let us know', and well there is over 2 feet out there. :( It sucks. :(

[MSVlogSupport]

I hear you and it is sad when a neuro can say that it is not the norm.

I have heard so many stories of people whose partner bailed and couldn't deal with the whole MS thing.

Thanks so much!

[2muchlivin2do]

I wish "we" got the option to "bail" on this MS thing!!!!  :~)

[isa2222]

The lack of oindependance and asking for support is dififcult when I used to always to offer help and suport !! swapping roles is very hard .... take great care Andrea and would love to chat to you more on skype too I will send you my number by mail

[MSVlogSupport]

Everyone keeps saying that I am brave for talking about these things.

The reality is that most of us and the people close to us are impacted by our disease.

I have alway been an open book so to speak and if we really want to help each other we have to be honest.

If I can get people to at least write what they are feeling that is a huge step.

[vbeachy]

Andrea;

I was very lucky with my wife because she "got" MS and knew what I wanted or needed even before I knew what I wanted or needed.

I echo Mark's comments wholeheartedly.

[MSVlogSupport]

You were very lucky since I have heard so many stories that are the opposite.

Thanks Vern

[vbeachy]

I have heard many of those stories too Andrea. Yes, I was very lucky.

[kezzcass]

Hi Andrea, I found myself nodding to what you say and teary after seeing this. Can't say anymore than I hear you totally. Kerri x

[MSVlogSupport]

I know Kerri

[Reluctantwriter7]

Thank You for touching on this topic, Im not married yet, but I do worry about my fatigue, numbness, and weakness. Your husband is such a blessing. Some men can't handle it, not for lack of trying/hoping, but it's a more than they can invest emotionally/physically etc. It's difficult, and I wonder if Ill be alone forever, or worse - settle for anyone who will have me in order to avoid loneliness. Some of my able bodied friends have done this. so i wonder - yikes where does that leave me!

[MSVlogSupport]

A lot of women can't handle it either. Never settle for someone just to keep from being alone.

Worry about taking care of yourself and being in a good place in your own skin and head first.

When the right one comes along you will know it if you are OK with yourself.

Your Zen Master LOL

Andrea

[Reluctantwriter7]

Hehe, thank you Master!

[MSVlogSupport]

LOL I hope you know that I meant it in the best way. We tend to loose our self worth and under value what we have to offer.

Now go meditate on that :-)

[2muchlivin2do]

Don't you "settle" girl. MS or not...every woman deserves to be loved for her! God sent me a man like that and I trust & will begin praying that HE will send you such a man also!!! Don't forget...any man would be "super-lucky" for such a compassionate & kind woman to scoop "him" up like you!!!! Don't forget that!!!!

[donotconcede]

Hi Andrea,

The webcam is coming very soon so you will also be able to see me. You are a beautiful person and you have helped me far more than you can know. I appreciated the time you spent talking to me.

I will do a video response to this once I figure out what to say as I live by myself like Christine. For me its terribly lonely, isolating and people don't understand. Many hugs, and I look forward to talking with you again.

Hugs,

Judy

[MSVlogSupport]

Can't wait Judy, but don't expect me to do my hair for you ;-)

[Stacy9286]

Great video. Thanks for it...

[MSVlogSupport]

Thank you Stacy

[irishbear76]

MS causes a major disruption in you sex life whether you are a man with MS or a woman with MS.

It is the elephant in the room, in your marriage, that you try not to acknowledge.

The thing that must always be remembered about sex is that it is 90% between the ears and 10% between the legs.

I have found that even when I lack sensation I can pleasure my wife.

It just takes trying and you will be amazed what your body knows to do instinctively once you get started.

I am losing my G rating.

bye

[MSVlogSupport]

LOL the G rating. I did put Adult Content in the sidebar! It is harder for women..no pun intended, just in general.

I agree about the 90% in the head part, just hard to get my brain there these days.

Thanks Mark,

[lovingfatalist]

You're brave. This is important, difficult stuff.

I'll wait until everyone else on MSTube has made a video about their relationships-since-MS, and then, maybe, perhaps, I'll do one myself, ok?

;-)

[MSVlogSupport]

Toby break out of the box and take the lead, why wait? When what you have to offer may help someone else.

I will be waiting :-)

[mackierojo]

Thank you Andrea for this video. It hit home very hard as I am recently out of a 4 year relationship where I thought I was building a future with someone but MS got in the way. I was told " I can't deal with your MS" were pretty much the final words spoken. As well as some other words but I know this is a family channel and will keep those to myself. This is exactly what alot of people don't understand how MS affects all of us

[MSVlogSupport]

Thank you Jamie, it is a hard pill to swallow when someone can't deal with what is happening to us.

But what kind of person were they all along? Life happens, other things other than illness would she have been able to handle those things?

[Prissie28]

Thank u so much for this video. U are so brave to be so honest, and this video touched me in so many ways.

Love, Astrid

[angelusa73]

Christine is a very strong woman, I agree with you. She shows strengh in so many ways and I think that you do too!

You deal with a lot too and you can see the good things in your life and you bring humor into it even when things are tough!...you have a great spirit and a great strengh inside of you, Andrea!

One day, I will get to talk to you on Skipe too, I promise! :)

hugs,

Angela

[angelusa73]

Dear Andrea,

this is a very touching video and I can tell that it means a lot to you and I can assure you that I means a lot to all of us because this is a big issue and it's important to talk about it.

As you know, I have no idea of when I will be able to make a response video (my husband's mother is getting sicker) but I will do it as soon as will get the chance to.

Things changed for me too. My husband has become a friend and he is not much of a husband any more. Thank you for doing this

[MSVlogSupport]

Angela do not worry about a video response you have so much on your plate right now.

I was a little worried on how this topic would be received. It is a hard part of our lives and to put it out there for others to see was difficult.

But I try to be honest and talk about real things that are happening in my life and hope that others can relate.

My husband is my best friend.

Hugs,

Andrea

[angelusa73]

You always choose good topics, dear Andrea. And this one is a topic that will make people think and open up. It might not be easy to do, but you will see that many will take the opportunity to talk about this.

I am glad that your husband is your best friend! :)

[ThePennygirl]

Andrea,

I'll have to thank you for being here! Great subject matter that many of us would like to hear from other MS'rs, I know its been on my mind but no one to really discuss it with that shares MS.

My kayaak buddy came over today, we shared a little lunch, wine, and Amelia Earhart movie, and chat! No more kayaaking, but she has stayed my pal. This vid's timing is spot on as I was just thinking she is still a dear pal!

[MSVlogSupport]

Thanks Susan, glad you had a nice girls day!

[auntoni51]

GOD bless you Andrea for doing this video and touching on subjects that effect everyone in our MS family....i plan on making a video response to this soon....Its incredible what you and your husband have....He knows that even though you have this terrible disease, it dosent define who you are to him.....Thank you for doing this....Im proud that your in my family here:)!!!!!!!.ione marie

[MSVlogSupport]

Thank you Inoe Marie, I hope you got your video problem figured out. :-)