Japan Talk 6: Job hunting, Marriage, And what?

[blee2879]

"Katsu katsu" makes me think of chicken katsu. :)

Divorce is never a good thing and only seems to be getting worse. Seems like everywhere.

[BeulahLips]

I gave up. 

[LuciferArmand]

In America, marriage and divorce isn't held on such a high esteem. Others may try to argue against this, but it's true. Marriage isn't sacred over here anymore. My grandfather married a woman a while back, my grandfather was rather wealthy, and she'd had eleven husbands before him. Well, she put him in debt, used all his money, he died due to stress, and the next day she was moving his stuff and selling it. American customs sadden me, we've become rather vulgar.

[someguyinwales]

@LuciferArmand If it makes you feel better, its not just America.

Personally I support the traditional view, due to a few things in my life. The current state of marriage is depressing.

Sorry to hear about yout grandfather, that woman sounds vile.

[AwesomeMandy]

Ri=katsu happens in America. The other day I read an article about a man using an iPhone app on a new iPhone that he had bought for his wife to find out if she was cheating on him. The app is called "Find Friends" and he installed it on the phone without her knowledge. The app shows you where your friends location is using GPS. I do not know if it was true or if it was someone just making things up, but I am certain that things like this happen a lot of places.

[LIghtPinkPearlVoice]

your english is awesome o.O

[yoshimasa4869]

法律に一因があって、日本は浮気をした方から離婚裁判を訴えるこ­とが、めったにできないので、離活も女性から仕掛けることが多い­ようです。

アメリカではそんなことはなく、アメリカで浮気をした日本人の奥­さんがNYの裁判所に訴えていましたよ。



[MowgliX]

I don't think this exists in Sweden where I am from. Sure, there are dating services on the internet etc, but otherwise, no.

[mthide43]

how would you proposed in japan?

[klined]

Ri-katsu is extremely common here in the US. One of our favorite pasttimes

[ederno5150]

hiroko marry me!!!!!

[neverlandvictim]

Shit, I'll happily marry you.

[Darthwizard]

No need to marriage anybody to get job or citizenship. I'm enoughjt talented to get that by myself. BTW, stop watching dramas xD

[sesshora44]

why do you want to be married so badly that they always cheat because everyone is so unhappy then it just leads to divorce..... o.0

[YuuKing1223]

HIROKOさんは人を惹きつける何かを持ってますね♪

笑顔がほんと可愛い！！

[dominicancoolguy]

BAKA! Your English is perfect.

[Kelly62u]

You watch too many dramas...lol

[CryingFre]

Hi Hiroko. I just stumbled onto your channel and I really like your informative videos. I lived in Japan for 3 years but I still have so much to learn! Japan is a never-ending fountain of interesting words and ideas. Thank you so much!

[Konatablob]

jesus...

[wotevayo]

ur cute.

[Hatterific]

Good drama too. lol

[Mikecomm]

Who do you think these men are cheating with?? They are cheating with other Japanese women/girls who KNOW they are married but dont care and have no respect for marriage but hope to get married some day! Maybe when they get married they will understand when they realize they destroyed some other woman's marriage/family and find their husband sleeping with another single girl like they did! Stop blaming men.

[HIROKOCHANNEL]

@Mikecomm I'm not blaming men alone. Men/women it doesn't matter.

[someguyinwales]

@HIROKOCHANNEL Sorry for asking about an old vid. But did you say they go to a Christian village to look for husbands ?

Why ?

Also isnt Christianity a really small thing in Japan.

Allthough them going to a farm seems odd too.

[AutomHatter]

@Mikecomm How could you even conceive in your mind that she was blaming men??? lol You are making stuff up in your head man.

[Mikecomm]

@AutomHatter \ - I guess i dont like that she just mentions ways wives find information on if their HUSBAND is cheating when they should be checking their daughter's phone to see which married guy SHE is dating or find out who the wife is cheating with. I think Hiroko probably didnt realize she only gave one side. It is typical Japanese style of presenting the guy as the bad guy and the woman as the sad victim - in fact the women are the ones the guys are cheating with. Seemed one-sided.

[GR8GUY54]

Very good information. I'll be more cautious now:} Thanks for the tips!  "for every action, their is a complete and opposite reaction."

[deezacharo]

hi hiroko

in greece we dont have konkatsu ,,, but many people now days get on the net to find there partner

when i was in japan 5y stait i didnt go to that kind of activities,,

i mean my japanese friends dident realy invite me hahhah,, anyway

it seems staba was enought for me,... love staba hihi

btw your hair looks good in this vid.

[TheTheesen]

you are soo sweet - and I don't think that your english are bad. :) I'm from Denmark and dream about moving to Japan some day... But I didn't know that such thing happend....

[ChiiWong]

Hiroko, here in America, some people can look for relationships on the internet. There are match making websites.

[Bcarolus]

I really like your video, and your English is great!

I'm really curious, why did you decide to make this video about job hunting, marriage and divorce activity?

[LilAriesCece]

KYYYAAAA YOUR SOOO PRETTY!!!!

[SilverGunZoO]

I hate legal and religious marriage.

Marriage for woman = Some security, financial support, social status, and convenient sex

Marriage for man = Free sex, social status, semi-maid, semi-cook

have I missed something x) ?

The only good way to marry someone you actually love, is never to marry religiously and legally, only to rely on ties of love and friendship, then you can have respect and real love, knowing you're not tied to anything, you can break up so easily.

not gonna happen in real life

[WhereNoFanHasGoneB4]

that...was....so.....!

beautiful!

I believe in love again!

[SilverGunZoO]

@WhereNoFanHasGoneB4 great

[yu0421]

賢そうな瞳に涼やかな目もと。透き通るような肌にひかえめな鼻筋­。清潔感あふれる笑顔のかわいい人ですね

[KEM0SAVY]

if she dont like her husband why dont she simply just leave him. Instead of going through all the hassle of finding excuses

[chichiri03]

i ate tonkatsu =)

[veilen]

Just finished watching 婚カツ！ Nice comedy, I spend some good time watching it.

I don't think I've ever seen anything close to konkatsu in Poland. I wonder if there are meetings of this sort organized by dating sites but since I've never heard of them, they're rare or hardly advertised.

[LyRaLex]

Of course I know what "Schuhkatze" means you silly japanese girl ... it's german and means shoecat

naa, I'm kidding (but it's true)

some japanese words sound really german (well at least for me, I'm not a native german speaker, I'm actually from Italy)

[enchovia]

i dont get why the wife can get tired of her husband, so sad. i m,ean i've never thought these things things were so shocking until it happens to your family. i know the divorce rate in the U.s is really high, but the divorce rate in hk is not so high because a lot of ppl. are single. do men cheat alot in Japan, because i dont think only men cheat, dont women cheat too?

[ashestoyoursoul]

americans divorce like crazy

[AFXisgreat]

@ashestoyoursoul Yes, this pretty much sums it up. Now 50 % of marriages end in divorce in the United States. It used to be something that was kind of shameful in the old days but now it's way more common. I think it has a lot to do with people jumping into marriage before they even know each other. People don't have real conversations that often. Also I think that some people aren't able to handle the marriage lifestyle.

[TheLostInBlue]

Wow, you are very, very pretty. ^_^

[adefalohun]

結婚活動(Kekkon Katsudo)　の　ジュラマ　名まえは何ですか

[kdsbsb]

job hunting, marriage, then death :-)

[macoulin]

@kdsbsb job hunting, marriage, CHILDREN, then death....

[akulabite]

Japanese women are so pretty i cant imagine someone would cheat on them.

[unplugged123]

hmm. i just said ri-katsu outloud.. without listening to what it meant first. and my japanese wife got angry at me! haha...

[Cebrail1991]

Interesting video Thumbs up!

[NoirExile]

I saw that drama Konkatsu! It had Ueto Aya and that guy from SMAP. I actually liked it lol.

Oh, first time here. Great channel, Hiroko!

[SilverGunZoO]

I never liked matchmaking ... but whatever their choice,

"hey mom, where did you meet dad?"

"well son, I was at a matchmaking party".

"oh ok..."

[nielswolfgang]

Well, we definetly have konkatsu (sorry if i spelt it wrong) and we definetly have shukatsu. Rikatsu we have as well...but it doesn't have it's own name like in japan. Here in canada, it would be called...girl talk...but it (the term "girl talk") would be used in a negative way..i.e. tone of voice, context of the discution. Me, as a male, definetly frown on it. When you get married you take a vow. I would never look through my wife's things to find evidence of cheating.

[hitachicordoba]

omoshirokatta. tokoro de, doko de eigo o naraimashita ka? Los Angeles kara Yoroshiku!

[hpeterswald]

Great new Japanese Movie. My Darling is a Foreigner >> google darling-movie

[Degenskonto]

Tonkatsu!

[rollermaul22]

Konbanwa. Yeah we have that kind of activity in our country. You have been to my country I mean to say. I dont think those activities of marriage which lead to divorce are good. And I certainly don't like invasion of privacy anymore than cheating...its a sad world. I think this is a bad trend. That is all. Oyasumi nasai.

[kidzero22]

question. have you ever spy on your bf cell phone to see if his cheating?

[HIROKOCHANNEL]

nope. i don't see any point doing it. if i don't trust him, i wouldn't go out with him. and there's no happiness in your boyfriend's cellphone. :p

[pandamanana]

@HIROKOCHANNEL if your boyfriend has awesome porn on his phone, than I disagree.

[DaveTheSamurai]

Hiroko-san you forgot tonkatsu.

[nkomp18]

In Greece we use the full expression "marriage preparations" or "divorce process" etc even though marriage is a really big deal that involves a lot of planning, you'd think we'd have a shorter word for it, lol

[HIROKOCHANNEL]

interesting!

[RainMainDein]

In germany only guys over 30 are going to parties where they can meet other singles in their age, its not common here to go to kekon kazu events like in japan, also our divorce rules are completly different, if your partners cheats on you, it doesn´t mean you get a big payout, everything will be divided 5050 or not if you made a special contract before marriage...

[prickett233]

Is there a Manko Taberu Katsudo?

[origamisuperfly]

Awesome! I plan to visit Japan next fall, and have been trying to learn Japanesse for awhile. Thanks for the extra lessons!

[needmanshini]

はい、その三つがあります。しかも離活の時普通は女の方に私立探­偵を申請されることが多いと思います。その為、お金持ちの男性が­それに対して結婚前の取り決めを頼まれる可能性があります。

職活動は大体同じだと思います。これに違いのは履歴書が時々必要­ではありません。

[Merryfairygodmother]

Yes the same thing takes place in the USA. Husbands or wives contact a private investigator to collect evidence of infidelity. There is a Jerry Springer like show on television called "Cheaters" that broadcast cheating nationally. Why broadcast this? anyway...

[veilen]

Thanks for the tip on "Konkatsu!" drama. It's with Aya Ueto and Shaku Yumiko. Great treat for a "drama addict" like me. ;)

There is no kon-katsu activity In Poland. There isn't even a word for that in my language. I think active husband or wife searching is seen as a kind of pathetic, you know. You can look for love, of course, and if you find it than eventually you will marry. But it's not the main goal.

[usaverageguy]

Hiroko, can katsudo be used for any type of activity or just for certain types. I was think of something like Yasumi-katsudo, getting ready for a vacation.

[HIROKOCHANNEL]

No, only with certain words such as Bu-katsudo (club activity-sports club in school)...but even this Konkatsu didn't exist until a couple years ago, so you can promote Ysumi-katsudo! XD

[MrRedsoda]

Everyone in the world does some job hunting at one point :P. I don't think women really need a reason to have a divorce in my country. If the love isn't there anymore, you break up... no need for ri-katsu. Never heard of marriage hunting before, interesting. Women in my country are very independent, I don't think they search for a partner with only marriage in mind, it's more about love I guess :).

[dodoraemon]

In Brazil, there are few of these konkatsu meetings, but they're not so spread around the country and not everyone see it in a good way. "A lonely poor loser oldier guy/girl" thing.

But it's hard to say, since this country is a large one and each region has a totally different culture.

... I like how every single behavior has a name in Japan. Enjo Kosai, Otaku, Salary Men, Soushokukeidanshi...

btw... sorry my poor english =P

Ps: waaa... I really enjoy your videos ^^ Thx for upload!

[yuichituba]

The fact that there is an abundance in 離活 in Japan shows that people are very unhappy there. I personally believe it's because men have sacrificed their family over success, which is foolish. If they want success, they should not take on the responsibility of being a father/husband.

[DavePerry2012]

Something like this happened to Kago Ai---the wife of an actor sued her after supposedly gathering evidence that Kago cheated with him.

[liangm]

wow,

U  R more pretty ,HIROKO

[mountaincritter]

It's true, isn't it! She's so cute!

[usaverageguy]

One of the "related videos" listed beside this video was "Everywoman, Culture Shift in Japan. It was very interesting.

[BlkUnk]

cho bery interesting.....

[ryuhayabu1]

I think it is really horrible that men sometimes cheat on women, and it happens everywhere over the world. I hope to someday find true love, and when I do, I will try everything I can to make her happy!!

Don't say sorry, hiroko-sensei, your ei go is sugoi, like always :D

[usaverageguy]

It is not a one way street. In fact, now more American divorces are a result of the woman cheating on the husband, than the other way around. I don't know about Japan or any other countries.

[ryuhayabu1]

usaverageguy-san, I know that it is not a one way street, but I didn't know that in America there were so many women cheating on their husbands! In Belgium, I do notice girls/women get more and more rude and dominant in personality. A often see teenage Belgian girls who act totally respectless towards anyone or anything. Anyway, if it's either the husband cheating on the wife, or the wife cheating on the husband, it makes me really mad!!

[mountaincritter]

I don't know about what usaverageguy wrote. Maybe more American *divorces* result from cheating women, but American men definitely cheat more than American women.

50% of American guys have or will cheat on their wives in their lifetime.

25% of American women have or will cheat on their husbands in their lifetime.

~_~ Now I'm depressed ~_~

[ryuhayabu1]

50 % of American guys cheat!! Are you serious?

That's really depressing!! :( :(

[mountaincritter]

Yup, it's true. But don't be too sad--there are still millions of guys who will never cheat. The hard part is finding them....and catching them before someone else does ^_~ !

[ryuhayabu1]

I'm one of those guys who will never cheat, it's like I said in an earlier comment: "I hope to someday find true love, and when I do, I will try everything I can to make her happy!!"

I'm having a hard time finding a girlfriend because in Belgium they get married so fast...

[SilverGunZoO]

@mountaincritte Sorry that is BS, there is no person in this world who is sexually active and can resist a super attractive person, of course just physical nothing emotional

[mountaincritter]

@SilverGunZoO Hey, I've seen your screename before ^_^! (Hello!) I am a cynic....so, actually, a few million non-cheaters out of billions of cheaters might not too optimistic (I hope). Studies by the Kinsey Institute report that about 25% of women and 50% of men cheat in the US. Would it be 100% if the "other woman/man" was super attractive? I think it'd be almost 100%, but even as the disillusioned kid of an adulterous father, I still have faith in a couple guys I know (both are married).

[SilverGunZoO]

@mountaincritter Yeah, I have to agree, it's close to 100% of all the sexually active people, we are just mere humans with sexual needs, that is our nature and we can't deny it, anyone who thinks otherwise are too weak to face reality and are just fooling themselves.

Though one thing is physical interaction and another thing is emotional involvement, they are completely different, and so real cheating in my opinion is emotional involvement, the rest is just fulfilling physical needs and desires.

[jovossuck123]

90% of all stats are over generalizations :P

[worldtravel101]

@jovossuck123 very true. also about 45% of stats are made up on the spot.... such as this one LOL =)

[tobco79]

How about you? Are you Married?

[HIROKOCHANNEL]

not yet. ;-)

[kaapiovuohi]

とても面白いです。どうもありがとう。

[frontporsche]

And finally, Shi-Katsu ?

[HIROKOCHANNEL]

funny!

[usaverageguy]

American men tend to think of Japanese women as quiet and obsequious. But recent changes in Japanese law have made it easier for a woman to divorce a man. And now, divorce is on the rise. The Japenes women I have met are beautiful and quiet in public but strong willed and completly in control of their marrage behind closed doors. I find that very attractive. But now I have to ask, "What events in your life have sparked this subject for a video?"

[HIROKOCHANNEL]

"What events in your life have sparked this subject for a video?" -

hmmm, looking closely into feminism movement in japan today, and now I'm writing an article about women in Japan and doing some interviews....very interesting to see how women live their lives.... mine, not so interesting ! it is but not by going through my boyfriends' bags and cell phones!!

[usaverageguy]

Japanese feminism sounds like an oxymoron. I hope an English translation of your article will be available. If not, perhaps you could do a video blog on your channel. Eithor way I would enjoy hearing the results of your interviews. Please let me know when it is published.

[mountaincritter]

I'm very interested in feminism, so please let us know what you discover.

ps Excellent videos!

[NodnarbRS]

Is divorce still pretty taboo and kept hush hush over there.... 'cause here in America tons and tons of people get divorced and no one really thinks anything of it.

If I wanted to say something kinda like "its a shame" could I just say ざんねんながら? v(^_^)v

[HIROKOCHANNEL]

yes, 残念ながら、or 残念ですが

[watcher8o]

I watched a show earlier this year called "Konkatsu!" with Ueto Aya. It was interesting, but I was even more interested in the tonkatsu they were making than the konkatsu. lol

As for divorce, which I think is one of the worst situations a person can face, Arizona has "Covenant Marriages" which can be dissolved but require proof of: Adultery, commission of a felony with sentencing to death or imprisonment, abandonment, abuse, long separation, or substance abuse.

Your English sounded fine!

[Motouyuu]

Yeah. In the US if it's suspected, the person usually tries to talk about things, but you know where that usually leads. Then they take it into their own hands to try and find the evidence; usually, though most of the time, the person's behavior leaves signs.

[Motouyuu]

Finding a date here is usually like going to a bar or just out with some friends; maybe even being set up by a friend, too. Mostly though it seems that bars are a good place to meet people, and just relax.

[ElevenColors]

婚活、最近よく見掛けているよな。

何か、一生の決定に陳腐な略が付けられると気持ち悪い。

[illyas1]

its sad japanese women have to find evidence just to divorce their husband.women rights in japan are somewhat less than a mans

[masoftekken]

Its not like that at all. Its similar to america infact. If they cant come to an agreement on the divorce (kyogi rikon), then (chotei rikon)/(Ri-Katsu) are options. As she mentioned, the evidence is so they can win in family court if no agreement is made. This applies to man and woman. She never said that it only affected women..... She said "Ususally wives"

[illyas1]

my point is that women in japan have more prejudice and limitations than men do

[masoftekken]

Well that is true but it ties into their culture as I mentioned they are progressing. Alot of women accept it because they were raised that way same with the males. Old fashioned life style is deeply rooted. Its similar to the "American Dream". My friend is living there finally and im going to visit him in janurary. He told me alot of women are very smart and focused on occupation and not all of them rely on man as mentioned in this video. For the most part women have equal rights in japan.

[masoftekken]

Ofcourse over time women are not agreeing with the old fashion life style and I commend them for it. Why live your life according other views on ho wit should be lived. You only get one crack at life you know. I love vibrant women with dreams. I say both man and women work and do everything equally in the relationship ^_^.

Illyas1: Do you play tekken? I see a tekken person on your page.

[Mattinmotion]

There's no equivalent to Rikatsu in Sweden I think. Some women (or men) might "snoop around" but it's considered a sign of a very bad relationship if anyone does something like that rather than talk to their wife/husband. As for job hunting, women don't give up their jobs or stop their careers when they get married so there's no need for them to find new jobs. Although we still have a problem with many women having to give up their jobs or miss out on promotions if they become pregnant.

[doggybag71]

We have a show called farmer looking for wife/husband. One of my friends joined this show :D.

I talked to a japanese friend and he doesn't want to marry a japanese girl cause they are often relying too much on the man. He wants them to have a job and all. Is it uncommon for girls to work in japan?

Nice video and I like your shirt(s).

[masoftekken]

It is true in some cases doggybag71. Your friend is smart. But anyway, thats how it is in other countries these days too. Japan is just a bit more old fashion with marriage but at the same time, they are progressing quickly with new standards.

[masoftekken]

Very interesting. The cheating part is more like an individual thing in america. We do have a show called Cheaters ^_^ lol. They follow the suspected around to try to find evidence of cheating just as you mentioned. a little creepy. We do have alot of marriage seeking groups though.

[NodnarbRS]

The host of that show got stabbed...but hes back on the job now ;D

[yumyumsesame]

@NodnarbRS: lol I'm not at all surprised

[sloughwitch]

i need to stop watching youtube and get back to some shu-katsu.

btw your English sounded fine to me

[furetosan]

Ouch! Japanese adult life summarized, huh?