please guys check out this website superpoints,com its the best thing ur gonna find online i promise u ur gonna love this fkn website please go check it out :) oh n did i mention u can get an imac on here free too along with other things ipod, giftcards just go check it out ok!!
please guys check out this website superpoints,com its the best thing ur gonna find online i promise u ur gonna love this fkn website please go check it out :) oh n did i mention u can get an imac on here free too along with other things ipod, giftcards just go check it out ok!!
please guys check out this website superpoints,com its the best thing ur gonna find online i promise u ur gonna love this fkn website please go check it out :) oh n did i mention u can get an imac on here free too along with other things ipod, giftcards just go check it out ok!!
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender is curious and askes him "every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?" The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home."
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
i had to upload my video a couple times because i had problems with my first two trys so sorry for multiple uploads i hope that that wont disqualify me... thanx.... xox
n asks where the pharmacy counter is. He's directed to it. When he reaches it, he asks to see the pharmacist. The pharmacist comes and the man, looking around furtively, asks
quietly, "Do you sell Viagra here?" The pharmacist answers firmly, "Yes, sir. We certainly do." The man then asks, "Do you think I could get it over the counter?" The pharmacist thinks for a moment n then says, "Perhaps, if you took
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can`t think of anything I need. $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on
The Reply:
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Your Ad Here The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?" "None," answered little Norman. "None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic." "Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"
In a baking factory. In a processing oven. Heath is impossible. Temperature is really over the roof!! One of the cupcakes turns to his fellow and states the obvious "My gosh, this is unbearable Stewey, what r we gonna do?!" The other cupcake screams "AAAAaaaaaa, a talking cupcake! . ! . !" =)))
every year, citizens sit beside the street awaiting the amazing ninja parade marked to celebrate the aniversary of the greatest ninja of all time. and every year the parade passes completely undetected. :P
ok so a duck goes to a lemonade stand and ask do you have any grapes? employee- this is a lemonade stand we dont sell any grapes the duck leaves and comes back half an hour later duck_ do you have any grapes employee- NO WE DONT HAVE ANY GRAPES 30 min later duck- do you have any grapes employee_ OMG WE DONT HAVE ANY GRAPES NEXT TIME YOU COME IM GUNNA NAIL YOUR SNOUT AGAINS THE WALL 30 min later duck- do you have any nails employee-no.. duck- good do u have any grapes..
Ok, there was this guy he wasnt right in the head so much but he asked his mother, "how do babies come" she said i put a sugar cube under my pillow one day and you came.. that night before he slep he put a sugar cube under the pillow he woke up with a bug under his pillow munchin' the sugar cube he said "i so want to get rid of you but you're my son!" i hope you like
Okay so this really happened but its still a joke ^__^ : Teacher: John has 30 chocolate bars.He ate 20.What does he have now? Student(me): Diabetes? Teacher: Get out -____-'
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
A boy walked up to his dad and said, "Dad, is God a boy are a girl?" The dad said, "God is both man and woman." The boy said ok and walked away. A few minutes late the boy came back and said, "Dad, is god black or white?" The dad said, "He is everybody, so both black and white." The boy said ok and walked away. A few minutes later the boy came back and asked his dad, "Dad, is Micheal Jackson God?" :) I like Micheal Jacson I just thought this was funny!! haha
There was these 3 guys. They were named Shutup, Manners and Poop. Manners was picking up Poop from school. Shutup got pulled over by a cop. The cop says "Whats your name sir?" "Shutup." "Whats your name?" "Shutup." "Whats your name?" "Shutup." "Wheres your manners boy?" "Over there picking up poop."
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
There was a red head, a brunette, and a blond. they where alll in a boat when the boat started to sink. the red head tried to swim to shore but drounded 1/3 of the way, the brunette tried to swim to shore too but drounded 1/4 of the way. The blonded didnt want to die allone in the boat so she trieed to swim to shore but when she got half way she said" im not gonna be able to make it, so she swimmed back to the boat:)
Want to experience a new kind of RSPS? Then come and join the New Genesis-X pk server! Our server is currently working on hamachi. DETAILS FOR SERVER -Fully Integrated Shops -Working Vesta -Working Void -Working Ags and Claws -Working Minigames, as well as events DETAILS FOR HAMACHI ~network ID- Genesis-X ~network Pass- waffles1
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
daren:when we stood up to sing at church i noticed the women in front of me had her dress stuck in her butt crack so i wanted to be nice and i pulled it out for and then she turned around and boom socked me in the eye.
jack:what about the other one?
daren:i guess she didnt like so i stuck it back in
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Okay a guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game. At the beginning of the game they do the quarter toss to see which team goes first. A little bit into the game the guy asks his gf what she thinks of the game and she replies "well i just don't understand they threw the quarter and for the rest of the game everyone has been yelling get the quarter back! get the quarter back! I mean it's just a stupid quarter!?"
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
i am a subscriber but can't win be cause i live in australia but i thought i would tell you a joke anyway :) ...... A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
The second guy comes with cherries, and was told the same thing. He stuck 9 up his butt, and on the last one he started laughing, got shot, and died also. The two guys that died then met in heaven. The first guy asks the second guy, "Dude, you were so close, why'd you laugh?!" Second guy: I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples. ROFL! :D
3 guys were kidnapped and taken to an island. The kidnapper told them if they want to escape they must find 10 fruits of one kind and bring it back to him. The first guy went and found 10 apples. When he got back the kidnapper told him to stick them all up his butt w/ out making any noise. The kidnapper told him that if he made any noise the kidnapper would shoot and kill him.The first guy stuck 2 apples up his butt, made a noise, got shot, and died. (CONTINUE) ^^^
A class is starting, a girl walks in late. The teacher says " why are you late?!", the girl simply says " oh I was throwing pebbles in the river ". The teacher forgives her. Then another girl walks in and does the same thing as the other girl ( teacher scolds, the the girl says she was throwing pebbles in the river ). 30 minutes later ANOTHER girl walks in but she's wet! The teacher says " Pebbles, what happened?! " Pebbles points to the 2 girls" they threw me into the river! " Cheesy
Two muffins were baking in an oven. One looks at the other and says, "Man, it's getting hot in here." The other looks at him and screams "OMG A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
2 campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake.“I’ll go into town for a doctor” the other says. He runs 10miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. “I can’t leave” the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison & spit it on the ground.” The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?” the victim asks. “He says you’re gonna die.”
I don't want to be annoying but just curious.....did you announce the winners yet lol?
kab183 4 weeks ago
@kab183 lol no not yet. We will tonight :)
Str8UpAwesome 4 weeks ago
omg soo excitedQ!!!!!!!!!sf!\dqws!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
beautylover15987 4 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
please guys check out this website superpoints,com its the best thing ur gonna find online i promise u ur gonna love this fkn website please go check it out :) oh n did i mention u can get an imac on here free too along with other things ipod, giftcards just go check it out ok!!
tokens below xf3aoo arilno ogztbo bg1ju2 hsa6us 58hz74 2r4qq2 3btii4 j3caqf x279ko
smokensumweed 4 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
please guys check out this website superpoints,com its the best thing ur gonna find online i promise u ur gonna love this fkn website please go check it out :) oh n did i mention u can get an imac on here free too along with other things ipod, giftcards just go check it out ok!!
tokens below xf3aoo arilno ogztbo bg1ju2 hsa6us 58hz74 2r4qq2 3btii4 j3caqf x279ko
smokensumweed 4 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
please guys check out this website superpoints,com its the best thing ur gonna find online i promise u ur gonna love this fkn website please go check it out :) oh n did i mention u can get an imac on here free too along with other things ipod, giftcards just go check it out ok!!
tokens below xf3aoo arilno ogztbo bg1ju2 hsa6us 58hz74 2r4qq2 3btii4 j3caqf x279ko
smokensumweed 4 weeks ago
A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender is curious and askes him "every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?" The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home."
lGlitzyGlamBeautyl 4 weeks ago
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
Charn277 4 weeks ago
Bar Joke
Glad to be drunk
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
everydayicry1 4 weeks ago
Knock Knock
Who's there? Tad! Tad who?
Tad's all folks!
loverchick129 4 weeks ago
WHAT DO YOU CALL A DOG IN THE SUN A HOT DOG HAHA!
mizzhayley02 4 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Knock knock.
Who's there.
Daisy.
Daisy who?
DAISY BE ROLLING, YOU HATING?
allysluvable 4 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Knock knock.
Who's there.
Daisy.
Daisy who?
DAISY BE ROLLING, YOU HATING?
allysluvable 4 weeks ago
Knock knock.
Who's there.
Daisy.
Daisy who?
DAISY BE ROLLING, YOU HATING?
allysluvable 4 weeks ago
BREAKING NEWS!!
The Energizer Bunny got charged with battery(:
MsChesireKitty 4 weeks ago
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?...
Nothing. They just waved ~
SuperBeautycrush 4 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
i had to upload my video a couple times because i had problems with my first two trys so sorry for multiple uploads i hope that that wont disqualify me... thanx.... xox
giannadoll 4 weeks ago
A man, about 5' 8" tall, walks into a Walmart
n asks where the pharmacy counter is. He's directed to it. When he reaches it, he asks to see the pharmacist. The pharmacist comes and the man, looking around furtively, asks
quietly, "Do you sell Viagra here?" The pharmacist answers firmly, "Yes, sir. We certainly do." The man then asks, "Do you think I could get it over the counter?" The pharmacist thinks for a moment n then says, "Perhaps, if you took
five or six pills at once you might."
giannadoll 4 weeks ago
what did a lawer name his dughter? ... Sue
carolynm15 1 month ago
One time there was this woman and she bought a house, and she said the first thing i see i'm gonna name it that.
She saw a hairy butt so she named it "Hairy Butt " .
The next day she bought a dog , she said the first thing i hear im gonna name it that.
She heard a crack so she named it " Crack "
But one day she lost "Crack" .
She called the police and said " I searched all over my "Hairy Butt " But i can't find my "crack . Lol !
JayceeHeartsYou 1 month ago
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can`t think of anything I need. $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on
The Reply:
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
Kaeyla15 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Cousin!
Cousin who?
Cousin stead of opening the door, you're making me stand here!
channon514 1 month ago
Me:*goes up to my dad
Dad what do you want?
Me* major brain fart.
Dad:* looks at me like im a dumbass
Me:* can i have some luney for mucnh
Get it in stead of money for lucnh i said that.. LOL.
justlove12456789 1 month ago
Man 1: I want to buy a gift for my girlfriend for her birthday but I don't know what she would like. Give me a suggestion.
Man 2: Does she like you?
Man 1: Yes
Man 2: Then she would like anything.
MissyAzumi 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
(Me) I can't believe they're still together after all of the crap they've been throo!!
(You) who? o_O
(Me) My butt-cheeks !!!! LOL!!!
carolynm15 1 month ago
My Cuzin: ( had Heer ipod And made a farting sound
My Friend: (half asleep& Scared) Omg what was that
My cuzin ( Acting Scared) Idknoee
My friend got the phone and called the cops and said that there was a crazy guy that was shoting somewere hahhaha
TheGlamorus26 1 month ago
roses are red violets are blue you scare me i punch you
astroskater356082 1 month ago
@astroskater356082 i was just kidding
astroskater356082 1 month ago
roses are red violets are blue, you belong in a zoo, dont worry ill be there too but not in a cage.. ill be looking at you ! :)
TatiLovesYou96 1 month ago
you have something on ur butt,, my eyes lol
monicrissy 1 month ago
what do you call a pig that knows karate? prokchop - Haya (hi ya)
99tdancer 1 month ago
person1: What the first letter of yellow?
Person 2: Y ..
Person 1: because I wanna know .
lmaoo Im so corny but thats all I got :o)
SoDamnFearless 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Knock knock
Who's there?
Howe-wenwat-wai
How, when, what, why, who?
You ask too many questions! Forget it.
imMISSteddy 1 month ago 2
ends jan 31 @ 12:00 ??
Krissypoo112 1 month ago
@Krissypoo112 YUP :D
Str8UpAwesome 1 month ago
Me: I can't believe they are still together after all the crap they have been through!
You:who?
Me: My buttcheeks!!
lol
SharpiesRok 1 month ago
Why did the duck cross the road? To prove he wasn't a chicken!!!!! Ha ha!!!!
55wormser 1 month ago
Doctor- uh-oh patient- what? *on her phone doctor- you on
Daisylazies07 1 month ago
A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.
“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
lieconz 1 month ago
i wanna win
justosdhs 1 month ago
Your Ad Here The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?" "None," answered little Norman. "None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic." "Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"
PuppyloverA6 1 month ago
Why did the cow cross the road.....
I don't know you have to ask him.. lol..
lovebeatuy 1 month ago
A man walks into a lawyer's office and asks the lawyer what his rates are.
"I charge $100 per 3 questions."
"That's rather expensive for only 3 questions, isn't it?" asks the guy.
"Yes it is. And your final question?"
weridotoday 1 month ago
knock knock
whos there
boo
boo who
why are you crying its just a joke
sarahsoftballgirl 1 month ago
A:STFU
b: Why are you so mean
A:Im not mean !
b : yes you are you told me to shut the f*** up
A: Know it mean s*** the freakin underware
b: yuck ..
A: well thats mean
b: idc you dont know how to use the bathroom ...
12chloewongwui 1 month ago
Knock knock
Whos there?
You
You who?
I dont want freakin chocolate milk, i wanna come inside, its freakin pouring rain out here!(yoohoo choco milk?)
madidivaz 1 month ago
A Scotsman is on holiday in New York City.
It's a balmy spring day and he is wearing a kilt.
A young woman comes up to him and boldly asks him if anything is worn beneath the kilt.
"No lassie" he replies, "everything is in fine working order."
Pokalotx 1 month ago
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
halegrace04 1 month ago
knock knock!
Who's there?
Joe.
Joe who?
Joe mama.
lvue85 1 month ago
What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta!
Kitty4L 1 month ago
My name is paris
i'm from paris
my favorite drink is diet paris...!!!
sorry about the corny joke i did my best!!!♥♥♥♥
xxtammycuttiexx 1 month ago
Comment removed
xxtammycuttiexx 1 month ago
It's gonna be a little Drizzy outside, so expect a Lil Wayne.
heyamanduhhh 1 month ago
In a baking factory. In a processing oven. Heath is impossible. Temperature is really over the roof!! One of the cupcakes turns to his fellow and states the obvious "My gosh, this is unbearable Stewey, what r we gonna do?!" The other cupcake screams "AAAAaaaaaa, a talking cupcake! . ! . !" =)))
KdKoala 1 month ago
Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Little Old Lady...
Little Old Lady Who?
I Didn't Know You Could Yodel!
hahahahahaha :)
stephaniejoseph4 1 month ago
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
The chicken XD
yuki13197 1 month ago in playlist More videos from Str8UpAwesome
This has been flagged as spam show
WHat do you get when you cross an elephant and a Rhino?? Elephino....(*ell if I know)
muffieluff 1 month ago
Why did the Chicken cross the road ?
To Get to the other side LOL
MakeUpIsGreen 1 month ago
What did the two oceans say to each other?
nothing! they just waved. XD
did you get the joke?
Are you shore?
Do you sea what i did there?
Shell i stop now? HAHAHA.. ;)
whipTHEcream 1 month ago
Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe: 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell...'
BeautySpeaks101 1 month ago
every year, citizens sit beside the street awaiting the amazing ninja parade marked to celebrate the aniversary of the greatest ninja of all time. and every year the parade passes completely undetected. :P
carolynm15 1 month ago
where in the bible do you find coffee?
in Hebrews
MrHannahtinkerbell 1 month ago
nitasha1997 1 month ago
what's bruce's lee favorite drink?-----------water
f38166982000 1 month ago
What did the puerto Rican say to the potato? Answer: what's up Papa!
Mizslevy821 1 month ago
Ok, there was this guy he wasnt right in the head so much but he asked his mother, "how do babies come" she said i put a sugar cube under my pillow one day and you came.. that night before he slep he put a sugar cube under the pillow he woke up with a bug under his pillow munchin' the sugar cube he said "i so want to get rid of you but you're my son!" i hope you like
VivalaPalestine8Iraq 1 month ago
Okay so this really happened but its still a joke ^__^ : Teacher: John has 30 chocolate bars.He ate 20.What does he have now? Student(me): Diabetes? Teacher: Get out -____-'
AliKattLovesMakeup 1 month ago
Why can't to Asians make a white baby? .... Cause 2 Wongs don't make a white lol ......
L0annycheeksz 1 month ago
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
angel60187 1 month ago
A boy walked up to his dad and said, "Dad, is God a boy are a girl?" The dad said, "God is both man and woman." The boy said ok and walked away. A few minutes late the boy came back and said, "Dad, is god black or white?" The dad said, "He is everybody, so both black and white." The boy said ok and walked away. A few minutes later the boy came back and asked his dad, "Dad, is Micheal Jackson God?" :) I like Micheal Jacson I just thought this was funny!! haha
LoveToLaugh1414 1 month ago
@madzzz040100 lol omg XD you deserve to win! I wish you were in America
Realsiva 1 month ago
There was these 3 guys. They were named Shutup, Manners and Poop. Manners was picking up Poop from school. Shutup got pulled over by a cop. The cop says "Whats your name sir?" "Shutup." "Whats your name?" "Shutup." "Whats your name?" "Shutup." "Wheres your manners boy?" "Over there picking up poop."
angel60187 1 month ago
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
ustherandom 1 month ago
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
jmczar540 1 month ago
There was a red head, a brunette, and a blond. they where alll in a boat when the boat started to sink. the red head tried to swim to shore but drounded 1/3 of the way, the brunette tried to swim to shore too but drounded 1/4 of the way. The blonded didnt want to die allone in the boat so she trieed to swim to shore but when she got half way she said" im not gonna be able to make it, so she swimmed back to the boat:)
shycutegirl13 1 month ago
If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions !! :D Haha
MaiyaLovesMakeup 1 month ago
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deathsword51 1 month ago
Why did the teddy bear not eat his dinner?.
Because he was stuffed.....lol hahhha so cheesy:) thankss
makeupguru1077 1 month ago
You can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish!
areyes41 1 month ago
@areyes41 lol dbz right thar
kriket67 1 month ago
Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”
MissBeautifulMess11 1 month ago
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
sherlock630 1 month ago in playlist More videos from Str8UpAwesome
Knock knock
-Who's there?
Daisy
-Daisy who?
Daisy me rollin', they hatin'..
If you don't know the song it might not be funny to you, but when I heard it, it def got a laugh out of me :) Thanks For giveaway.
Coobs101 1 month ago
There are 3 rings in a marriage... Engagement RING, wedding RING and suffeRING....LOL....
girlystyle100 1 month ago
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
flopyflop50 1 month ago
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again.
The teacher says, "What are you doing?"
He says, "Checking my answers."
monis2251 1 month ago
What goes up and doesn't come down?. Age
beautyyylove 1 month ago
What goes black and white, black and white, black and white? A penguin!
Ericagingersnapshay 1 month ago
whats brown and stick ??
a stick lol :)
TheEmmasbeauty 1 month ago
Why couldnt the ghost do it? Because he had a hollow weenie
lGlitzyGlamBeautyl 1 month ago
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
veronica101x 1 month ago
jack:how did you get the 2 black eyes?
daren:when we stood up to sing at church i noticed the women in front of me had her dress stuck in her butt crack so i wanted to be nice and i pulled it out for and then she turned around and boom socked me in the eye.
jack:what about the other one?
daren:i guess she didnt like so i stuck it back in
makeup4ever241 1 month ago
Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was angry.
She told him, I I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
When his wife woke
up next day , she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
Honrosella 1 month ago
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
sherlock630 1 month ago in playlist More videos from Str8UpAwesome
Little Joe walked into his dad's study while his dad was working on the computer.
"Dad," said Joe, "Remember when you told me you'd give me twenty dollars if I passed my math test?"
Dad nodded.
"Well, the good news is that I just saved you twenty bucks."
jeannette209 1 month ago
What's red, and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
MobsterForRent 1 month ago
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fshh!
foreveruniqque 1 month ago
What do you call a seagull that lives at the bay?
A "Baygul!"
(:
megsmakeuptutorials 1 month ago
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest hoping one would win. But no pun in ted did ;D
WhoStoleMyPoptart 1 month ago
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
liviebabee 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I dont usually tease gay guys....butt-fuck it
viLoR1a 1 month ago
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alannbert 1 month ago
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Britney Spears.
Britney Spears who?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Britney Spears.
Britney Spears who?
Oops, I did it again.
msktp93 1 month ago 2
Little Joe walked into his dad's study while his dad was working on the computer.
"Dad," said Joe, "Remember when you told me you'd give me twenty dollars if I passed my math test?"
Dad nodded.
"Well, the good news is that I just saved you twenty bucks."
NailedToPolish 1 month ago 3
@NailedToPolish HAHAHAHA!!! You need to win dude!!
MackyzBack 1 month ago
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator
yasminiscool1 1 month ago 2
Nice picture frames in the back. lol btw this is not a joke. but i made u laugh. so does it count as a joke? haha lol
nguyenu90 1 month ago
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-Knock Knock!
-Who’s there?
-Howl!
-Howl who?
-Howl you know unless you open the door!
nowrinn 1 month ago
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Thermos!
Thermos who?
Thermos be a better knock-knock joke than this!
nemo2590 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I didn't realize someone said my other one already...awk...
but here's another:
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you gunna pick me as the best answer?(:
vanilladory 1 month ago
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vanilladory 1 month ago
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Daisy.
Diasy who?
Daisyme rolling, they hating.
-got to give credit to juicystar07 for hearing this joke though.
vanilladory 1 month ago
Okay a guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game. At the beginning of the game they do the quarter toss to see which team goes first. A little bit into the game the guy asks his gf what she thinks of the game and she replies "well i just don't understand they threw the quarter and for the rest of the game everyone has been yelling get the quarter back! get the quarter back! I mean it's just a stupid quarter!?"
AllieBelle25 1 month ago
Okay so why do black men grow so fast!
Answer: Because there Negroes. Get it Knee Grows.
NylaBabee 1 month ago
What happens when a psychiatrist and a hooker spend the night together? In the morning each of them says: "120 dollars, please."
yasminiscool1 1 month ago
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
yasminiscool1 1 month ago
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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side!
BeautiBea 1 month ago
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
heavyheartedmiss 1 month ago
knock knock. . .who's there? daisy. . .daisy who? daisymerollin they hatin' lol i laughed when i read that
imbeautyobsessed 1 month ago
why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side!
TheMstomfelton 1 month ago
i am a subscriber but can't win be cause i live in australia but i thought i would tell you a joke anyway :) ...... A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
madzzz040100 1 month ago
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
sherlock630 1 month ago
A lady's picking through the frozen turkeys and says to a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" He says, "No, ma'am, they're dead."
reihagirl19 1 month ago
Q:If girls with big boobs work at Hooters,where do girls with one leg work?
A:IHOP
KinkyKassie92 1 month ago
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Daisy.
Daisy who?
Daisy see me rolling. They hating.. hahah
lilazncupcakeee 1 month ago in playlist Favorite videos
''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''
yasminiscool1 1 month ago
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
JenJenn1993 1 month ago
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The second guy comes with cherries, and was told the same thing. He stuck 9 up his butt, and on the last one he started laughing, got shot, and died also. The two guys that died then met in heaven. The first guy asks the second guy, "Dude, you were so close, why'd you laugh?!" Second guy: I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples. ROFL! :D
haakunamatataaa 1 month ago 2
This has been flagged as spam show
3 guys were kidnapped and taken to an island. The kidnapper told them if they want to escape they must find 10 fruits of one kind and bring it back to him. The first guy went and found 10 apples. When he got back the kidnapper told him to stick them all up his butt w/ out making any noise. The kidnapper told him that if he made any noise the kidnapper would shoot and kill him.The first guy stuck 2 apples up his butt, made a noise, got shot, and died. (CONTINUE) ^^^
haakunamatataaa 1 month ago
A class is starting, a girl walks in late. The teacher says " why are you late?!", the girl simply says " oh I was throwing pebbles in the river ". The teacher forgives her. Then another girl walks in and does the same thing as the other girl ( teacher scolds, the the girl says she was throwing pebbles in the river ). 30 minutes later ANOTHER girl walks in but she's wet! The teacher says " Pebbles, what happened?! " Pebbles points to the 2 girls" they threw me into the river! " Cheesy
cottencandybunny222 1 month ago
If a rooster lays an egg on a roof, where does the egg roll?? AW: No where! Chickens lay eggs not roosters!
cottencandybunny222 1 month ago
Two muffins were baking in an oven. One looks at the other and says, "Man, it's getting hot in here." The other looks at him and screams "OMG A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
lilazncupcakeee 1 month ago
The plane's engine failed while there was an old man, boy, and scientist in it,
The pilot grabbed a parachute&jump out.
The3passengers discovered only2 parachutes were left.
The Scientist took a pack, saying 'I'm sorry, I won a Nobel Prize,I'm known to society".The Scientist leapt out
The Old Man turned to his grandson&said, 'Son, take the last parachute.I've had a good life. Yours has just begun.'
'Don't worry, Grandpa' said the young boy, 'that guy just jumped out the plane with my backpack.'
NailSlides 1 month ago in playlist Liked videos 8
wanna hear a joke about a pencil
nevermind its pointless
KissMyBeauty2012 1 month ago
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
kab183 1 month ago
how many eggss did the roster lay?
non rosterers dont lay eggs ...........
jeanettezavo 1 month ago
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kab183 1 month ago
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kab183 1 month ago
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A doctor says to his patient, " i have bad news and worse news. "
"Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the patient
The doctor replies, " You only have 24 hours to live."
"That's terrible", said the patient. "How can the news possibly be worse?"
The doctor replies, " Ive been trying to contact you since yesterday "
NailSlides 1 month ago in playlist Liked videos 5
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NailSlides 1 month ago in playlist Liked videos
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NailSlides 1 month ago in playlist Liked videos
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NailSlides 1 month ago in playlist Liked videos
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be called bagels.
flintandrex13 1 month ago 17
@flintandrex13 thats on a laffy taffy wrapper
sagemichelle12 1 month ago
Comment removed
flintandrex13 1 month ago
@sagemichelle12 haha i didn't know that :P
flintandrex13 1 month ago
Nice make-up, do you use a brush or just dip your face in?
shazmbeatthat 1 month ago
why did the cook get arrested?
because he got caught "beating" an egg!
nemo2590 1 month ago
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the turkey day off.
itsxelenOfficial 1 month ago 4
2 campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake.“I’ll go into town for a doctor” the other says. He runs 10miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. “I can’t leave” the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison & spit it on the ground.” The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?” the victim asks. “He says you’re gonna die.”
NailSlides 1 month ago 19
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NailSlides 1 month ago