Christopher Hitchens Does Standup Segment 1/2 (2005)

[DaAlphaOmega]

Hes holding a bottle of water but from the looks of him id say theres vodka in that bottle.lol

R.I.P.

You will be missed

[redshark618]

The top comment is hilarious. More so is the fact that the heterosexual in question never came back to this page. That is the definition of owned.

[umbrellaman75]

His timing is immaculate.

[umbrellaman75]

I wanna ffollow in my fffathers ffffootsteps.

[test123ok]

LOL fat guy in the red sweater never seems to get a joke !

[N64isgreat]

What happened to the onions? :o

[RentedWorld]

"There was a young engine driver named Hunt . . . [pregnant pause - lol] . . . Who was given an engine to shunt. . . . He saw a runaway truck, And by yelling out, "Duck!" He saved the life of the fellow in front." Ha! Love it!

[redryan20000]

this is so bad that it's hilarious :)

[redryan20000]

he's so fucking drunk lol

[supahsekzy]

Haha is this actually standup? What is the occasion on this?

[Vaeviktis]

That is not water.

[74gore]

it's straight up vodka in that water bottle.

i wish i can be as cool as christopher to be drunk in a speech

[missgreeneyes56]

Pissed as a fart. At least he's more interesting than the holier than thou Richard Dawkins.

[jjobie]

@missgreeneyes56 Actually I think a sodden Dawkins would be pretty funny.

[supahsekzy]

The ultimate after-dinner raconteur

[cksox1]

in Hitchens' water bottle: straight vodka

[ninjapig2011]

'This program contains content that some viewers may find objectionable.'

Perfect time for that to come up hahaha

[purewilderness]

Shit-faced on C-Span, only Hitch

[Force10FromMimico]

After the introduction one sad lonely individual is booing, now that's what I call a contrarian.

[downeybill]

TANKED!  I don't mean he tanked, I mean he IS tanked!

[AvernusSheol]

LMFAO!!!!! drunk

[ProRanting]

The man was shitfaced!

[TonsofFun777]

HAHA I have never seen him so drunk. He is the man.

[yamenhawit]

I think Hitch was nervous so he just got drunk before! LOL

[PeopleMustAct]

He looks like a wasted fat big

[splicedenergy]

@PeopleMustAct He'd have to be, for fuck sakes he puts up with moronic religious fucktards who are ass clowns on a good day. I can only assume you are one of those

[ciaochowbella]

@PeopleMustAct If you're going to insult someone, DO be correct, you asinine, twee, little twat-faced cocksucker. Wasted or not, he still delivers with aplomb and grace. You're not fit to sift the corn from his shit and you dare attempt to insult him. Would that I could take you out back of the YouTube offices and beat you bloody with a tire iron or like object. Unfortunately, I'll have to settle for verbally slaying you, you slack-jawed, illiterate, unkempt, ill-spoken, fatuous shit-gargler.

[PeopleMustAct]

@ciaochowbella

I am a straight man, you're a woman... you're the cock sucker + how the fuck can you beat my ass, what kind of girl are you! disturbed bitch

[ciaochowbella]

@PeopleMustAct If you're so straight, why do you CARE and comment on the appearance of other men? I'm certain that you would suck a cock given the least provocation.

I am not a GIRL, you miserable, little, dickless boy. I am a woman. A woman who can beat the dog shit out of a good many men....you included, you pathetic piece of shit. You aren't fit to stand in Hitchens' shadow.

I'd tell you to fold your dick back and fuck yourself, but two inches won't reach.

[bahdahdoop]

@ciaochowbella Will you marry me?

[ciaochowbella]

@bahdahdoop That's a lovely offer, but I'm already engaged to be married.

However, if something should happen, you'll be my second choice.

[bahdahdoop]

@ciaochowbella Outstanding!

[Lackofcoitus]

@ciaochowbella

Haha fantastic:)

[ciaochowbella]

@Lackofcoitus Thank you. I do endeavor.

[iowntwocats]

@ciaochowbella

HOLY SHIT YOU TOOK HIS PENIS AWAY

[TheBoredProle]

@ciaochowbella Oh my god, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.

[equallyeasilyfuqyou]

@ciaochowbella Oh shit, I'd like to make sweet love to you.

[ciaochowbella]

@equallyeasilyfuqyou I get that a lot.....

[STEELWOLFF666]

@ciaochowbella O.O I'm going to go hide in a corner now...

[equallyeasilyfuqyou]

hahaha he's wasted 

[Visioncliff]

If Christopher Hitchens and Hunter Thompson were ever to have partied together. . . Jesus, that would be epic.

[UtopiaMinor666]

Damn he would kill if he had dedicated his life to stand-up. A little part of me wishes that happened, but i know his contribution to humanity was greater by far. Though, this is an awesome segment.

[LOLDISNEYLAND]

He is fucking wasted!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I love The Hitch!! He is one badass motherfucker! hahahahahaa

[Trawn666]

+1 if you wish you'd been able to hear the rest of the onion joke

[Christian121y]

@Trawn666 This.

[BrentonSteinhilber]

That joke he told about the guy in traffic who calls the maid who tells him his wife is in bed with another man and he tells her to kill them, so she does and he finds out after that he had called the wrong house--

That's the exact premise for a short film that won a bunch of awards. I think it was German. Only difference is it was "his" kid on the other line and I think the wife and lover accidently die in the hustle of everything. But same exact punch line, same exact setup.

[Huckxxx]

'I think all filth is local' LOL

[InvisibleDiary]

roflmao xD

omfg, he's so fucking drunk.

xD

[da0217]

Man, he is loaded!!!

[kevrs2]

A GREAT GUY ,and giant of intellect ,get well soon old chap ,and good luck.

[jazz4]

Some people were slow on the up-take.

[20emesiecle]

This is great! A rare, deliberately scatter-brained Hitchens.

[IloveVitoria2009]

wow wtf is this ?! is this rely him ?

[borntoli]

haha i love it, hes shit face and they broad cast it on c-span hahah

[alexandreleverrier]

he looks great on this video.

[diekerze]

Hitchens is like beer. Better with alcohol.

[DoNotBeHighandMighty]

Hitchens is very intelligent, we need people like him in office.

[Subz3ro247]

@DoNotBeHighandMighty he is intelligent but he will get drunk all the time

[MusicHypno]

Hitchens...drunk? What a surprise!

[TheLostRealist513]

There's no way that bottle is filled with water...

[dsobon]

@TheLostRealist513 HA, watch part two, he whips out a bottle of hooch and swigs!!

[cutes22]

Ah, ha sweetie, don't quit your day job.

[modernecon]

Hitchens is one funny drunk.

[filorps]

Anyone think that bottle is filled with vodka?

[endoftheworldboy]

@filorps i know he is a whisky man so i doubt it, he drinks in interviews at least once i saw

[dsobon]

@filorps He doesn't care for Vodka... Its the water necessary to stave off the hangover after the copious amounts of Johnny Walker he'd consumed right before taking the stage.

Who isn't funnier with a few drinks in them?

LOVE Hitch!!

[sponsoredwalk1]

Hitch was kind of funny in the 1999 one because he was pissed...

This one sux. He's pretty funny when he's not trying to be, but not here.

No, not here...

[lehks]

lol @ 3:15 when the objectionable content warning suddenly pops up

[wjcapehart]

Having a soft and gentle sense of humor is like having a soft and gentle orgasm.

[drekas2005]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahaha I don't know why I'm laughing.

[robdale88]

3:50 - 3:55 Miserable Fat Fuck in the Red!

[controllerbrain]

hahaha he was offended

[flumberg]

@robdale88 maybe he's retarded and doesn't get the joke. :P

[scotttebben]

"Christan's wallow in denial and call it virtue whilst delighting in ignorance and calling it faith." [Scott Tebben]

[Force10FromMimico]

@robdale88 He most likely was in a similar circumstance.

[fuzzface100]

Much as I love the Hitch - don't think Stand up comdedy is his forte to be honest lol.

[Erickaf]

when is he not drunk?

[Zerg121]

He's really at least three sheets to the wind, lol.

Fucking awesome.

[waldoistwisted]

Fucking smashed

[CntrBrdr]

i cant believe i havent seen this before

[drunkenstooge]

He seems like he would be a great drinking partner.

[Mercurybath]

Lol, why does the maid have to be a poorly spoken spanish woman? You are drunk Hitchens.

[IrelandRaven]

he's blocked (drunk) out of his mind!

[Moredread25]

I love how when he starts in on the onion joke C-Span flashes that there may be some things that people find objectionable.

[LaoDecmius]

Is that really hitchens??

[MrSalamander7]

Man this was like watching a British Hunter S. Thompson.

[dugges]

hahahahaah

He's plastered!!!!

[CrosshairJack]

I think he is really drunk here!

[somewhatlongdong]

@CrosshairJack He's always drunk, it's part of his charm.

[TomValedro]

@CrosshairJack of course.

[TrueMusou]

@TomValedro Chris Hitchens is the only true Rock n' Roll Intellectual i can think of. He makes being a smart sunovahbitch bad ass.

[phildirt3]

@TrueMusou george carlin too.

[phildirt3]

@CrosshairJack he still does pretty good even when he s hammered

[phildirt3]

@CrosshairJack he still does pretty good even when he s hammered geez i love this guy man i hope he lives

[TheProgressistViewer]

@CrosshairJack He's fuckin trashed.

[Aaronthegreatest]

@CrosshairJack si lol

[twooffour]

@CrosshairJack

obvious alcohol, is obvious :)

[prufflehuffler]

What i find great about this act is that when the camera alternates back to the audience you can literally pick out the guests whom these jokes are wasted on. Hitchens is god; and thats a fact

[rudenoodle]

Haha, well at least he tried! lol

[kingpants1986]

Anyone know what event Hitchens spoke at here and where I could see the whole vid? Thanks

[jeffbrown8]

have we ever seen Christopher this drunk?

[MysteryManoLove]

all the time

[FreeInquisition]

Many times!

[jeremyshambles]

thanks for sharing these videos, cheers

[RebelVoDKa]

"NEOCON"

Huh? He supports a national health service and is an atheist.

[wagzetsu]

Your point? Neocons support a limited welfare state and do not technically have any religious ideas tied to their political philosophy. You do realize that Hitchens is good friends with Paul Wolfowitz and was a supporter of Rumsfeld and Bush, don't you?

[adknerr]

Only generalizing idiots say things like that. Everyone attacks Hitch on the fact that he supported regime change in Iraq. He did so for pretty much NONE of the reaons that the Bush regime claimed, but apparently people have no shame in still saying 'Bush supporter'.

[QwidgyboMan]

I do agree. Those who call him a neocon are joking...

[fctchk]

Hitch could easily inoculate himself from the attacks he gets for his support for regime change in Iraq were he to lambaste the criminally negligent ineptitude with which Bush &co carried it out and the lies they used to justify it.

And he doesn't. That is what should be considered the REAL and only disappointing part of his position.

Saddam had long since earned his removal, if not assassination, when he invaded Kuwait and lit the oil fields on fire.

[davef89]

hes a socialist its just that he supports the neocons war on terror

[Treadsoftly14]

lol?

[tuktuktok]

Hitchens is truly a fine debater but I would leave standup comedy alone.

[ivanmikhailov]

my thoughts exactly. it's kind of surreal and awkward.

[belzondium]

some of the audience wasn't even laughing... what phenomenal lame-asses.

[faithisfiction]

Christopher Hitchens standup...! Genius...

[jpixels]

hitcens is so cool that he can do comedy with his wit and intelligence alone

[QuantumMechanist]

dammit, not long after.. what?

[Scottathan123]

Brilliant video!

[Anab10sis]

Weeeeeeird.

[rcarass1]

exactly what i thought, seems he's a bit too dry for the audience lol

[NelsonRealTime]

"otro, other hombre"

I love how he says it!!! AAAAJAJAJAJA!!!

[EpicHiroDJ]

hah golden, thx for this!