Sh*t Triathletes Say

[dsires83]

How do know if someone is a triathlete...

They tell you !

[sjeong88159]

You forgot, "It's a great way to stay in shape."

[edpantous]

At first I said: "What's with this noodle wimp?" and then I couldn't stop laughing! good stuff...

[snoofyganoofy]

Oh man, your just the best ! i'm crying , really ....

[barples]

shut the fuck up omg.

[cycling4ever]

TRIATHLETES ARE GAY!!!

[weezysti]

STAY AERO!!!!!!!!!

[jwa47]

I'm loving all of these Sh*t (fill in the blank) say...just shows that none of us can ever take ourselves too seriously.

[AzulH20]

YES most of us do sound this bad . . . what a joke we are when we talk tri jargon . . . .we are TriNerds . . . .

gotta go get my Yasso on . . . .

[ImmaculateJ6]

this is so true

[DanGilmrtin]

you look just like joe gilgun

[awowadas]

"is there protein in this?"

story of my life

[bluemystic7502]

I'm not even a triathlete and I like to say these phrases around my friends. It makes me feel good about myself and hopefully it'll inspire them to trade the cheeseburgers for a pair of running shoes.

[Sabine1776]

Exploded laughing during the "bonk sequence"!!!

[wolfarmy2525]

You must be from Austin

[MonkeyCoitus]

Yeah, zone 4

[tuurisky]

this? ...or THIS? rofl

[Sabine1776]

I think I've said/thought at least 10 of those things!

[liljack75]

Actually I always recommend triathletes try and work on there own equipment, they come in more often with questions and it leads to more sales.

[CarpenterClimber]

100% accurate haha



[kimpado27]

haha! i like the 'check out my socks for my recovery'! haha!

[kthankxbye]

he's hot.

[brandeezy108]

i usually see this stuff on forums but i never heard this out loud.

[oldpiq]

Oh triathletes with their sleek tight suits, fancy gear and gizmos! :)

[elinfiernoentusojos]

omg so truth

[MadamMoxie]

I thought the originals were barely amusing, whereas this is p*ss funny.

[racingjohan]

Hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa

[holdtheonionsplease]

It would have been funnier if you didn't move your head, i.e. "this or this" were the same position. Just sayin.

[turcuovidiugelu]

1:16 - You are NOT wearing Newtons. :)

[MrLawg2489]

Haha love this #outstanding :)

[calliesballoons]

weak runners unite!

[MrTomclarks]

LOVE IT! carbon? TSS? lol.

[jesper69]

Hey? Thats me!

[mcclellanj424]

7 people are duathletes.

[just17n8]

I heard 90% of all this over a single conversation with my dad and his triathletes friends, I'm "just a runner" for them.

[hcdnbg]

This or this :))))))))))))  WTF

[rboca92]

This is awesome. Totally identified :)

[gestell]

I am not gonna whack off today I have a race tomorrow.

[lidarman2]

Funny as crap. However, it killed all my triathlon aspirations. I'll just stay one of those "sh!t" mountain bikers say folks.

[capsaicinrain]

"I hear Macca uses this"-Most repeated phrase by new triathletes.

[Lonzzz13]

Hill...AIR...ious!

[tennisbrittany]

LOL!! i love this!

[opstupe]

You can so shave off 45seconds at t2 by not wearing the compression wear dude.

[davidisbangin]

LOVE your chest hair and spandex! :)

[IgorSlukvinJr]

like this? OR LIKE THIS!? haha

[MrManthalete]

This is too good hahaha!

[AsiaLovesTravel]

I have those compression sleeves! Guilty.

[tbdenney]

I am training for an IM right now, this is totally right on! Haha.

[ieman54]

Get a real job

[onespeedgreg1]

LOL, As a former shop mechanic, I can tell you no one disrespects and neglegts the bike worse than these guys.. I was always grateful to have work, but these guys were impossible to deal with.. My hot tip..learn to work on your own shit , you self centered d-bags....I just released ten years of hate for these guys..I feel better..

[cliff55767]

@onespeedgreg1 So Damn true

[psburningman]

@onespeedgreg1 wrote, "My hot tip..learn to work on your own shit "

Wouldnt that put shop mechs out of biz?

[ImTraining4Tri]

@onespeedgreg1 I must be an exception then cos my bike gets looked after by me, unless I fall off it and then (like now) it goes into the shop for repair. Mind you I'm a wannabee triathlete in training, but will never get self-centred.

[TheDakota516]

@onespeedgreg1 bite me!!

[pingolexx]

@onespeedgreg1 JÁ, this guys fuck you and you know, LOSER

[edpantous]

@pingolexx I think you misunderstood the comment of "onespeedgreg1". He wrote all his pronouns in plural to clear doubts on who is he referring to. Clearly, he is in the same page as the author of the video.

[6656656656joe]

yup....funny enough...treadmill time...waiting for your sequel to this

[kraftlackel]

For all those who really try to give him advice - I think this video is meant ironic - at least I really hope so - otherwise the guy needs heeeeelp! ;-)

[dooozy]

I used to be a triathlete, then I took an aero to the knee

[cliff55767]

@dooozy HA! amazing

[subdave6125]

This video reflects a lot that is wrong with triathlon, specifically that it is a me, me , and more ME sport! This composite athlete would not think of asking a lesser accomplished or shorter distance amateur how they were doing or why they enjoyed the sport. Really a negative, believable view of many males near the top of the sport, especially at the amateur level. A lot of male triathletes should look in the mirror after they watch this video!

[allanmcelroy]

@subdave6125 Yes, they will look in the mirror, but unfortunately they will miss your point, and just fall in love (again) with their reflection.... :P

[texafornia1]

Left hand moves in a circle while running. Totally wasting around 3.84 watts. Could shave 1.5 minutes off your Ironman time if you stopped that, but it's sold out.

[Laimelde1]

The saddest part about this -other than it being true -is that it actually makes me want to get back into triathlon! Now if only my health issues could be quicly resolved...

[goodoldwagon]

I had a romper suit like that when I was a toddler!!

[asl2g4u]

were you trying to look like Lieto in kona in 2009 at 2:53? Because it worked!

[ricardoworth1]

Wow...I just now realized how many of these I say!

[danjar7]

He has weird chest hair. Is that supposed to be part of the joke too?

[sk8nfrpunk]

This is way better than the other ones

[lauradavis627]

I might have peed in my wetsuit watching this! So funny!!

[tomowirral]

I've heard 99% of those comments and sadly I'll have to admit to saying atleast 50% of them haha

[morrisonak1]

Where did you get that Swim Bike Run HTFU shirt???

[TheEricMellowShow]

@morrisonak1 Got it at Punk Rock Racing

[milesperpound]

Forgot- "honey going out for a quick 30, back in an hour" -MPP

[frugiforce]

Not as good as the cyclist version but nice try.

Re. your aero position: seat is too high and your arm opening angle is too wide (should be closer to 85-90°). To fix this move seat forward/move aerobars backward/get a shorter stem.

When you run your arms do a lot of chest-crossing: roll back and lock your shoulders for a straight position, then let your forearms bounce up and down.

[kingsarms873]

haha oh wow....so true



[SeaRanger311]

Needs less spacers!

[eastendimages]

Still better than wondering your rims should be fluoro green with black nipples or orange with bladed spokes.

[Mortybf]

Haha this is awesome! And yes, Jonas Colting does eat a low carb paleo diet :P

[erwancompes]

@Mortybf Haha no he doesn't. We emailed him and asked him about his carb intake. Paleo means lower than 150g / day. Jonas said no I definitely eat a lot more carbs than this otherwise I'd bonk. He does follow some primal diet guidelines though.

[mikaeljanssonbe]

@erwancompes No, Paleo does not mean less than 150g carbs/day. It means not eating neolithic foods, i.e. essentially a gluten & casein-free diet.

You're confusing Paleo w/ Atkins or some other (semi-)ketogenic diet.

[erwancompes]

@mikaeljanssonbe A high carb paleo diet?

[mikaeljanssonbe]

@erwancompes Yeah, a high carb paleo diet. What's strange with that?

[erwancompes]

@mikaeljanssonbe I must be eating the highest carb paleo diet since I'm a fruitarian. But what paleo author does speak of a high carb diet?

[mikaeljanssonbe]

@erwancompes Robb Wolf, for example. (robbwolf.com)

[erwancompes]

@mikaeljanssonbe This from RW's Paleo quick start guide: "Limit fruit to 1 serving per day if fat loss is your goal. A serving is not a whole watermelon. If you want to screw things up and not make progress, eat all the fruit you want, it’s your nickel, ride the ride as you like. In order of preference: Berries, melons, citrus, apples, pears. Bananas, papayas and mangoes are great for athletes post workout but dodgy for folks who want to lose weight." Pure carb-phobic nonsense.

[mikaeljanssonbe]

@erwancompes You're still avoiding the part where Paleo isn't limited to 150g carbs a day.

[erwancompes]

@mikaeljanssonbe Fruit is the #1 source of carbs. Eat less fruit if you wanna live less. Eat all the fruit you want if you want be lean, and live a full life.

[mikaeljanssonbe]

@erwancompes Yeah, whatever. I'm not into religion, thank you very much.

[erwancompes]

@mikaeljanssonbe Who mentioned religion? I'm deeply agnostic. Kinda hard to meet glucose requirements (10g/kg of bodyweight) while limited fruit and juices. RW says only increase carbs if you're an athlete and exercise long. In others words don't be an athlete lol! It works the other way around: up your carbs and you'll be athlete!

[erwancompes]

@mikaeljanssonbe Also from the Paleo quick start guide: oil and coffee! LOL! Didn't realize cavemen made coffee and refined oil! Hahaha RW should get in touch with some major anthropologists and share the news!

[228236]

the first one although a bit longer was better... :(

[Marc2598]

Hilarious!!!

[AlvaroNub]

Word! Hahahahahah

[EncinitasIronman]

I feel like a fool hearing how what I say sounds!

[EncinitasIronman]

I feel like a fool hearing how what I say sounds!

[iTamFit]

Hilarious! Loved it! Do more!

[142civilwar]

Hahaha I think every true Triathlete has said those or gotten some of that equipment or waken up at 4am for a swim hahaha well I know I do anyways hahaha my new favorite video

[jzcapets]

Seat is too high

[MrThefish2]

@jzcapets 'Saddle' as the triathlete sez

[calliesballoons]

@jzcapets actually if you understtod biking seats perfect on his farthest reach his knee is slightly bent so its perfect

[DestroyTheseWalls]

@jzcapets everyones seat is to high

[SusanMcManusPhoto]

I work for a triathlon production company. Yes, triathletes do say those things.

[joeldavidproductions]

@SusanMcManusPhoto What triathlon production company do you work for?

[scubthebub]

Not that funny. The cycle one is much better.

[alaskanthizzlam]

@scubthebub ya dude youre right not funny at all makes those triathlete fags looks like a bunch of gapers

[flash424242]

Awesome-sauce. I'm ashamed to admit that I've said at least a dozen of these to actual people... not just in my head.

[htorres1978]

YAWWWNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!