Milton Jones, BBC Music Hall Meltdown, May 2007

[zZpadwanZz]

bleh ive known this guy from before he was famous he is a family friend :D

[Gradders12]

@zZpadwanZz and im related to jesus!

[floghit]

@Gradders12 i don't think thats actualy true now is it?

[SandrineSoprano]

Love his style.Indeed he is probably the only one who does not swear, genius.

[SandrineSoprano]

Love his style.Indeed he is probably the only one who does not swear, genius.

[McraakarB]

The Boomerang joke is genuis. I fucking love it

[daralzand]

Thumbs up if you think this guy is so unfunny that you would gladly strangle him live on TV.

[SmileyFaceMan1]

@daralzand or not?

[Runtherd]

@daralzand oh, im sorry. is his stand up not as good as your stand up? no, of course, you've probably got a way better stand up act.

[TheStandUpInTheHat]

@Runtherd /watch?v=lYkcsce-5SA

[AlexH84]

@daralzand Wow, your comment is hidden because of too many negative votes...yeah...not much else to say is there?

[Runtherd]

i just saw this guy live tonight. he's so amazing.

[martinsbigmouth]

who on earth told him he was funny. his jokes are sort me and my mates make on saturday night drink ups. he bout as funny watching a dog take a dump

[Runtherd]

@martinsbigmouth think you could get up there and do that? its about the performance as well. i do stand up. it's really difficult.

[martinsbigmouth]

@Runtherd trust me im a performer so to answer your first question yes. cause i been on stage since i was like 14. to answer your second theirs a difference between writing a joke that are meaningful and jokes that are just one liners that mean nothing and totally random. i dont care if his jokes aren't rude or relate to sex it just the fact even his gig at Wimbledon feels like he just made it all up five minutes before he was due on stage. thats what annoys me about him.

[Runtherd]

@martinsbigmouth its all about the delivery for him, i dont understand why he makes me laugh, but he does.

[AlexH84]

@martinsbigmouth I doubt the 'jokes' you and the grup of morons you associate with would get a alugh out of a room of 500 people, but hell, what do I know, right?

[martinsbigmouth]

@AlexH84 i got a laugh out of 20,000 people for russell howard, twice even. sides its my opinion i dont find him and i explane better why if you look at the replies i had with another person were we sorted out better. yes i dont think hes funny as i think hes too random. sides you spent the time scrolling back to my original comment. must mean you got a lot of time to 'tell me im a moron, i should be shot for not liking him' blah blah fire away

[15niall]

Good God I love this man

[WelcomeToMyDomain]

Milton Jones, fantastic hair and comedy.

[Sophageddon]

he's quality

[iliketurtles125]

his is really clever :)

[xXMusicxMadnessXx]

I've got some scottish blood too, on a kitchen knife

[PavilionTheatreRhyl]

Milton Jones is at Rhyl Pavilion on Friday 11th November, 8pm

[Badkarmaud]

hes my mate jeremy's dad lol

[ZT3FF3N]

I'm quite dissapointed by this.. i saw a show with him yesterday on tv, he still reuses these old jokes even after 4 years, how fucking original..

[JenRageify]

@ZT3FF3N One liners are increasingly difficult to write. Do you say the same to Tim Vine and Stewart Francis? Once a one liner is done, anything similar just seems like copying.

Also, for Milton and other one liner comedians to remember all of these jokes in order is quite a skill.

[ZT3FF3N]

@JenRageify Yeah.. but this was in 2007, the show im talking about is in 2011, i mean i understand the need to reuse old oneliners, but i would think he could've made just a few new ones in 4 years..

[JenRageify]

@ZT3FF3N Yeah, you have a very good point. I guess it wouldn't have been too hard for him to generate a couple of new ones. It's a shame that one liners are relatively difficult compared to other forms of comedy.

[twenebk01]

D'NAAA! Lmao! xD

[asherd10]

i wonder how many of you are actually comedians... i've googled your names... and nothing, i see, Frankie Boyle, and Jimmy Carr, even bernie mac, but none of you... nope sorry.... maybe if you live in glass houses........

[TheWelshboy42]

Lol im half Welsh and half Dutch I must be coughing and choking alot *cough cough* xD

[FEARxMaGiiK]

bugjam25? anyone?

[MrStickbuddy]

Hes not as good as he used to be this is better, funnier. His new stuff is kinda childish.

[williamwills]

Thumbs up if you think Milton Jones should be the next Doctor Who!!!!

[TobeUK]

@williamwills wow, now that's an interesting idea! :)

[fraserelliottguitar]

@williamwills Don't you mean 'the next Doctor'? Doctor Who is a TV program. The Doctor is the main character on Doctor Who.

[cologne2792]

@fraserelliottguitar Shouldn't it technically be ' Doctor Who? '

[fraserelliottguitar]

@cologne2792 No. 'The Doctor' is the main character. 'Doctor Who' is a TV show.

[cologne2792]

@fraserelliottguitar Surely the show develops and ponders who exactly the Doctor is? After nearly 50 years we still don't know his name. Hence the question; 'Doctor? Doctor Who?'

[fraserelliottguitar]

@cologne2792 No. The name of the character is STILL 'The Doctor' even after 49 years.

[cologne2792]

@fraserelliottguitar Yet he told River Song his real name.



[fraserelliottguitar]

@cologne2792 The character is called 'The Doctor' by almost everyone, and never 'Doctor Who'.

[floghit]

@fraserelliottguitar nah, i call him doctor who aswell, when i refer to him as the doctor he gets really pissy for some reason

[fraserelliottguitar]

@floghit Anyone who calls The Doctor 'Doctor Who' is an idiot.

[floghit]

@fraserelliottguitar thats a bit over the top don't you think, as well as a massive generalization and your also basing it over no evidence, correlations or even observations. its just an all round bad statement. those of us who don't really watch it much have every right to assume that "doctor who" may have some for reference to his name.

[fraserelliottguitar]

@floghit Well, based on the fact that you can't differentiate between "your" and "you're", I think that my generalisation was a correct one.

[evertime123]

@williamwills

*Doctor



[Chariset]

The "retired mermaids" one got me and I have no idea why...

[dm9910]

one of the best one liner comedians out there.

[NickolieD92]

It's a simple routine, but it works SO WELL!

[kyral210]

Its weird, he is one of the only comedians who just gets better

[MrRiOtMaN98]

He is funny as anything mahhn

[Adslehane]

This turds about as funny as a dose of the clap! boo

[supersesqui]

@Adslehane

So let me get this straight .......you are a DJ ?

By definition, someone who pushes a button to make a deck play someone elses music (usually crap) and thinks that what you have to say is interesting. You have no discernable talent or taste in music and your peers are the most talentless annoying bastards ever to have drawn breath. And YOU think this guy is not funny. The best thing I can wish for you is leprocy.

[UnknownUserName4267]

@supersesqui

I don't agree with Adslehane but your comment is out of order. Wishing leprosy (spell it right) on someone shows you up to be a dick.

[supersesqui]

@UnknownUserName4267

LOL...it is spelt right, unless you wish to correct 'The Leprosy Mission International' a leading international non-denominational Christian organization, with over 130 years experience in leprosy work ?

I reserve the right to wish upon various individuals ANY disgusting, incurabel, pustulating, flesh eating diseases of my choice.; Including ultramicroscopicsilicovolcanop­neumoconiosis and heartburn.

(Look it up knucklehead)

[UnknownUserName4267]

@supersesqui

You wrote is as 'leprocy' so who's the knucklehead now?

Moron.

[UnknownUserName4267]

@UnknownUserName4267

it*

[supersesqui]

@UnknownUserName4267

I think you meant "You wrote IT as..." lol

Easy to hit the wrong key and re-read it and not see the mistake ISNT IT ? PMSL

You also missed the " incurabel"...which was put in deliberately.

This exchange has really made me laugh......thanks Eejit !

[UnknownUserName4267]

@supersesqui

It gave me a laugh too. Anyway no hard feelings, I don't see the need to keep a stupid YouTube argument over nothing of importance going on longer than necessary.

[supersesqui]

Just a bit of banter...........lol..........­....you have to read my comments understanding that there is usually a subtext within, a reference to something obtuse or a paraphrasing of some great quote/saying.

Eg: Supersesquipedalophobia is actually a great fear of long words !

[Thekaiserwill]

i have hair like this

[TheNo1MovieMan]

He's much better on Mock the Week, this is shite.

[DaRunTingsCrew]

This guys brilliant.

[ouiseylou]

Darn, I think I just scared away my kindred spirit....

[ouiseylou]

@TheRPGBrit I LOVE THEM ALL TOOOOOOO!!!!! ='D kindred spirits for the win!!!!!

[sootyferrari65]

Ive just noticed that he looks alot like the baby puppet from Paul Zerdin's acts

[faceless58]

his jokes require such a ridiculous set up that i laugh before the punch line most times

[TearstainedTaffeta]

I want an OchAyePod...

[Miryco1]

D-NA

[gabrieltenon1]

I've got a bit Scottish blood myself..uh on a kitchen knife!

[TheKingdan12]

he isn't that good,

[sarcasticattimes]

His daughter is soo fit. go same school Orleans ;)

[wardyleedslad93]

@MrFlibiddyJib It's cause he wrote the joke as part of his tour, which people will pay to go see. So I'd rather comedians did the same jokes every TV appearance, otherwise it would be pointless going to see them cause the entire routine would be on youtube!

[WaterBottle1998]

I LOVE HIS HAIR.

[yoitsmeitsmeitsddp]

funniest guy on tv :)

[aysonator]

his hair is so distraction, but he is soooo funny XD

[urma1234567]

He is the king of one-liners!

[wizzerkid96]

i don't get the marrang thing

[G01DM4N]

@wizzerkid96 Boo + marrang = Boomerrang

[MoOniEmOnKeY]

@G01DM4N @wizzerkid96 Its Meringue, a dessert made from whipped egg whites and sugar.

Funny bloke, has me in stitches =o)

[lemongirlohyeah]

he always looks like he's going to suffer from a nurvous breakdown-

briilian

[PunkiKidd98]

His face when he cussed the Scots ;)

[funkoman13]

He looks absolutely mental! funny though.

[bigbagpussfan]

i thought i'd accidentally pressed the 1911 button when it started!! :P so hilarious!

[benrfc]

fucking shit audience!!!! He's on tv what he say, oh it doesn't matter. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Helslinky]

Your not that english are you Mr. Jones !!!!!!!!

[dudemungas]

he looks like a retarded hedgehog

[XtalGameVids]

one of my fave comedians

[rorymorris1]

DIAL-A-LAMA ! classic

[s10dlka]

deoxyribose nucleic acid - discovered by Watson, Crick & Jones!

[DarkPhoenixChild]

Heh, he always looks like he just shoved a penny into an electrical socket.

[HannahMcIntyreXDx]

his hair <3

[TheCheekycc]

just realised from that mermaid joke that i saw him at reading, either in 2006 or 2007. he was pretty unknown then! never knew it was him!

[Metaldude1945]

I speak Dutch! :D

[clockendboy]

Nice hair.

[HarryHillMad]

so very funny

[harrynicholas]

good grief - dial-a-llama...funny tho

[HorsemadxEmma]

Och iPod! LOL! It's good to be Scottish when you know how to laugh at yourself. If you take things personally, you're going to end up kicking a hole in the TV screen! I've seen it done.

[Iowcatalyst2]

lol the Boom Merang joke is a classic. Milton is amazing I recommend his bbc radio shows and audiobooks

[Jongyan]

Does he have stage fright?

[acippico]

@asintean Not true. Have you seen his latest show?

[asintean]

@acippico I've seen him in september at a show that he held during fresher's week in Glasgow

[mattvid00]

@acippico what is his latest show? he's great

[acippico]

@mattvid00 He's currently touring with his show 'The Lion Whisperer'

[giotheutuber]

@acippico i saw the lion whisperer in edinburgh it was great

[Danielthephenom]

@asintean alot of comedians do though

[10aidand]

@asintean thats only the last joke ya plank

[spr66]

Dial a llama

[jakamneziak]

i like the fact that he looks liek he just got caught in a van-de graf generator! Very funny and mild-mannered. Not my style of comedy that i execute but i can still appreciate this comic executer.

[Kuggar]

Saw him at my local. Met him afterwards and at the end of our conversation I said "Well, I'll let you go" :P

Oh how PROUD i was of myself lol

[acippico]

@Kuggar Nice one!

[verbaluk1]

I bet he's never heard that before*.

*irony.

[drunkalfuzzyness]

@Kuggar haha I bet he never hears that one ;]

but still, nice job lol.

[Sanitoeter666]

@Kuggar is he much different in private?

excuse my weird english, I'm from austria ;)

[Kuggar]

@Sanitoeter666 he's... normal :-D just like any other nice guy. Odd really when you see him here!

[snip3z4kills]

@Kuggar Did he say "NOOOO!"

[TearstainedTaffeta]

@Kuggar I would like to hug you! What was his reaction when you said that?

[Kuggar]

@TearstainedTaffeta he was kinda /facepalm lol :P

[TearstainedTaffeta]

@Kuggar awwww lol i bet he laughed tho..at least on the inside

[maneyhunger]

You gotta love the insane-ness of his hair lol

Such a funny and clever comedian, hope he continues appearing on mock the week and maybe other shows in the future :)

[astroboirap]

who is this guy? keep seeing him on mock the week and he makes me laugh by doing nothing. i though only andy kaufman could do that to me.

[Georgeous129]

at 2:10 i love how he says 'NO!'

[DragonofEternity]

Gentlemen, I believe I have dicovered the genetic print of all human life... DENAH!

[ArchieMerringtonTV4U]

LEGENDARY HAIR

[craftycarper]

So I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, he sent me this large goat with a long neck....turns out I phoned dial-a-lama.

[rafflesia123]

Only just found out about him but great comedian. Reminds me of stewart francis and tim vine.

[SamLovesFriemds]

he's so cute and mental I'm strangely attracted to him the now :)

[jackwhitesguitar]

At last something decent on the TV to make me laugh, Russel Howard (MTW) is just NOT funny, learn from Milton Dear boy

[xPrimePresident]

How many magic biscuits are in the magic biscuit jar?

[youchicker]

Milton Jones hair LMAO!!!!!! hes great mad and hilarious!

[iloveCullens96]

dial-a-llama! LMAO

i love him<33

[XOXheartAmy]

GRANDDAD! WE LOVE YOU!

[AmelieYvette]

I saw him in London last week. Didn't even make me smile. Not funny.

[DaRandomPerson]

Milton Jones. :D The best comedian of all time!

[37skimonkey]

Saw him at Manchester's Comedy Store the other night. Absolutely hilarious!! Would it be wrong to say he's like a British Steven Wright (or is Steven Wright an American Milton Jones?)

[acippico]

@37skimonkey: Similar, but I'd say Steven Wright is more deadpan, almost comatose. I'd say he was far closer to Canadian comdedian Stewart Francis.

[Dravensdmf]

@acippico seconded. All three are brilliant though.

[woohicare]

@acippico stewrt francis is better.... but to be honest....

[thisis5009]

@37skimonkey i totaly agree wif u i think thats spot on

[JDLupus]

Totally enjoyed the vid!! Though, to be honest..

[acippico]

@JDLupus Heh heh!

[trashface123]

this guy is as funny as a rotting cat corpse

[Willypeeorwillynot]

i wish my mind worked like miltons. the world would be a great place

[jay270486]

Simple jokes but i love him! hope theres a live DVD soon

[livelist]

@pamlawrence1

"it can illuminate our existential position and remind us that we have a connection, that we're all in it together"

Sounds suspiciously like a Bill Hicks quote?

[kjw7000]

2nd only to King Frankie.

[snowblind1985]

DNAAAAAA .. !!

[DIGIxPUNKx1996]

MARRY ME!

[jovialduke]

i don't really care about comedy reminding me of my place in the cosmos, existence, connections, blah. to me it's either funny or it's not funny.

[granskare]

super

[jamesfromwagstaffe]

he looks like Worzel Gummidge and/or a scarecrow!

[jamesfromwagstaffe]

he looks like Worzel Gummidge and/or a scarecrow!

[01mhall]

fuck jimmy carr this its the king of the one-liners.

[charlibeau]

I would totally sleep with this guy

[sammyloutaylor]

This guy is awesome :-D

[pedro550]

Very funny, glad a friend introduced me to this

[mico2020]

dial a lama!

[Smithsfan90]

He style is different and quite fresh. I like him!

[ilovemcflyx]

Top comedian. Great hair. Wacky dress sense. Brill.

[pharcyde110573]

FANTASTIC!!!

[dingergirl1]

lol his hair is amazing

[pamlawrence1]

it's as good as this sort of comedy gets. ultimately comedy can reach more and further. it can illuminate our existential position and remind us that we have a connection, that we're all in it together. this comedy can never do that. it's quite funny though.

[acippico]

That's very deep - and very true. Well observed.

[HelenaMCRomance]

O_o

[batmanofni]

@pamlawrence1 Or alternatively it can make us laugh.

[ihateevilbill]

@pamlawrence1 .....tit

[comanchio1976]

@ihateevilbill I agree..pretentious tit at that!

[daraclare]

@pamlawrence1 Are you quoting Bill Hicks directly there?

[Raxisabominae]

@pamlawrence1 I dunno. I find that one liner comedy is the because it's simple, and clever at the same time. Stewart francis I think is a little better though. Blackadder masters it too

[dragonf666]

Most of the comments here are a lot of sense, but while he might not be suited for some shows, his humour is a welcome change from the usual modern stand-up. If anything at least Mock the Week has helped me notice this refreshing change in pace.

[fifi4488]

he is a thousand times funnier than jack whitehall worst ever guest on mock the week

[LemondropSoldier]

@fifi4488 i wouldn't say worst, they've had Gina Yashere on there loads of times!

[EmperorHarold]

If you mean the young posh twat I completely agree. At least I think that is who you mean. Some people aren't very funny sometimes, but he is also extremely annoying.