Derek And Clive - I Was Having A Wank

[SPeacock]

Fuck today's excuses for entertainment, THIS is true comedy!

[DarrenBonJovi]

Clem the Gem

[boum62]

So funny ... how did they think it all up ?

[davedownunderu]

;-)

[batavianism]

RUSSIAN SECRET POLICE????? DO YOU THINK THEY WANK?

[batavianism]

I DONT EVEN WANK...

[ILikeCrumpets]

Atlee with a moustache on his chin is a turn on at the best of times.

[adolfolicious]

Question:

How do you "plug" your knob into a "trainset"

[z250B]

@adolfolicious With great effort, and imagination

[AnataNile]

I was wanking over a picture of my dad... I was just cumming on his face, you know, and my mum walks in! - You can't make this stuff up. Gold

[thomas17710]

@AnataNile Well they did... Awkward



[WillisProvidence]

where's the rest??!!! the "i had cancer before i was born" bit?!

[noofyballs]

@WillisProvidence I've got cancer of the cosmos!

[WillisProvidence]

@noofyballs i've never been in the scheme of things...and i've got cancer of that, too!!!

[stoxocube18]

Haha loving the karl pilkington references

[QuarantinedMarshland]

Kenny Logins

Those people from the east midlands swear a lot.

[danwoodward23]

That army's got some well nice trentches

[lucasfunkt]

@danwoodward23 Dandy Warholes

That Jamaican fella's spotted something on the Titanic.

[supermassive87]

@lucasfunkt chris(t) deburg

That Jamaican fella doesn't want anything

[lucasfunkt]

@supermassive87 Neil Diamond, (Nil Demand)

I had a tape with Humpty Dumpty on it and Hickory Dickory Dock and that but the tapes broke.

[Backsidedown]

@lucasfunkt Busta Rhymes.

The scottish fellas can't get in to their emails. What's up with that eeerr....

[lucasfunkt]

@Backsidedown Kenny Loggins

This little foreign cafe is growing it's own steak and that

[cdleedsfan]

@lucasfunkt Del Amitri

Keep hitting that oven. With a stick if you want...

[neohip]

It has taken over 30 years for mainsteam British comedy to catch up to these guys.

Sadly, there is no place left to go because they already did it! They were the Beatles of comedy!

[bedfordcrusader]

i never reaised HOW funny these 2 were....brilliant

[manurewa59]

cunny funts d @c

[Professor6871]

Gerking around the room being sick in the ash trays'

[jaylias]

HILARIOUS. these guys were wayyy before my time but i'm so glad i know about them! fackin' brilliant double act!

[sjtucker2002]

Didnt ave a toilet roll older so i used my plonker an it got stuck ats yi i arve to rige dis bus wive me willy out in dis tiolet roll olda ,its soft want some just pull ti off.cor at was lovely want a cupa get ot do your gregory peck.

[JC5296]

If only this was a podcast.

[wilde1978]

my dad had a train set in the loft am just wondering????

[somethingmemorable1]

I wonder if Americans find this funny?

[ToxicEyes2202]

@somethingmemorable1 I am an American that finds it funny.

[killakillakillakillo]

@somethingmemorable Probably not mate.

[JosephCurteis]

@ToxicEyes2202 i congratulate you!

[khanige]

The run of the mill, with a 9 O'Clock wank :L

[stevenwithph]

Twitter . com / mansfieldsbum - Follow Clive

[swervington1]

of course,it is part and parcel of the pin sellling business.that makes perfect sense as does the next six minutes.....

[MrIfanc]

why not why not...it's a free fucking country.

[Coolguyrob2006]

Lost it on the Clement Atlee bit.

[cx1designs]

LMAO.

[8833darren]

13 people are wa*kers

[Jeorney]

What a pair of wankers!

[gorgormany14s]

legends



[AlexAlcyone]

It must have been virtually impossible for Dud to keep a straight face opposite Peter Cook... many times Pete reduces him to helpless laughter during the D&C sketches. I don't know how he managed to last as long as he did.

[MrKurtKnopfler]

rofl

[TheSwitchCleaner]

TERIFFIC VIBES

[IMusHRooMHeaDI]

thumbs up if you can hear the other guy laughing his arse off at 3:36 and 4:07

[IMusHRooMHeaDI]

this is genuinely the funniest thing I've ever heard xD

[flynndaUK]

Feckin' classic!!

[melrodpush]

Best excuse to wank in public: " It's a free fucking country innit" hahaha!

[JaamesThornton]

I've spilt my medicine, on the train tracks.

[Zed1967]

I gave up smoking 9 years ago but saved an ashtray to throw up in when I'm having my run of the mill, Wednesday, nine o'clock wank. :)

[lemurjim]

"...I was just cumming over his face..."

[yourallstoopid]

i fucking spiled me medicine and me toilet roll

[yourallstoopid]

this is bloody madsmash then lads

[resulted]

So funny :D

[wsjmdavies]

what i don't get is how *people" can dislike this, are you f**king plastic.....get a sense of humour....

[yatesy91]

3:24 - 3:49

hahahaha

[ktzo6991]

shitest fing ever

[geffel]

This is Cuddly Dudley at his Hollywood/Ten/Arthur/Best Defense/Like Father Like Son sellout movie star height...

[buzzlebint]

That is Robert Hatwell and Mad Dog Sivill madshit!!!!!!!!!

[geoffdoor]

me and neil johnston are like cook @ dud

[TheMrLusk]

I had twenty men around me disguised as wallpaper with guns pointing to my head ... LMAO

[gupsnot]

"you didn't have cancer....you had 'wanking'...."

I bow to the Gods of wanking and the Horn....Cook & Moore.

[gupsnot]

what a cunt!

[jasonbaxterpiano]

dud kicked ass on piano

check out JASONBAXTERPIANO

[valjester805]

'77 rather.

[ashtraybreath]

chill ..... shit happens, these blokes broke the rules,,, talk about shit that no 1 talks of.. and they were pissed.. and it was tiiiime ago ... carl x

[weeksbell]

Here it is.

[scotsmaninusa]

cunts

[SuperPinky27]

Cunts!!!

[bman462]

10 ppl have cancer of the knob

[Zed1967]

Now you have to know the truth. I've got cancer of the knob. XD

[SuperPinky27]

@Zed1967 lol



[RaggedandNaive]

No..... that's part of the pin selling business.

[asistephen]

you fucken what u cunt

[IIovefootball1982]

i have uploaded the whole film "get the horn" :D 

[daddybug69]

pity it's not a complete wank cums too soon.

[crazzyhubbard]

Sick fucks :D

[BadEggCymru]

I spilt my medicine!!!!

[Phantasus87]

hahahaha

[slantyrock]

LMAO

[BestivalFan]

Proper Belly rolling material : ) 

[andyingreece]

What do you think of this Sunny? :o)

[chrisdable]

still got this in cassette form, still very funny.

[councilglasses]

I thought they were cunts

[StonerChroniclez]

@councilglasses recipe for bacon......pig

[xual235]

Audery . . . Lave....  brilliant

[aniboker]

This is... the best thing... I have EVER heard.

[aniboker]

HAHAHA

[DJCRooK3D]

God i remember finding a cassette tape when i was about 6 or 7 and listening to this and having NO idea whatsoever what the fuck they were chatting about! lol

[0badboy0]

LMAO love it

[JoeHayns]

I always try and work in 'they didn't call him Clemt the Gent for nothing you know' when people are talking about Attlee. But no one has yet; stupid cunts.

[youareevenworse]

first he's having a go against Whales...now its the fucking Poles

[whisperingfox]

How strange, cos I have to face due north when Im having a wank aswell.

[waysgoose]

'grabbing hold of the carpet and being sick in the ashtrays' - fucking funny cunts

[Professor6871]

@waysgoose I'm usually in the tears of laughter when it comes too that bit you quoted.

[Redat23]

I'm 24 and I honestly didn't know that any of the older generation had a sense of humour like mine =D

[gavhenrad]

@Redat23 On behalf of Peter (and probably Dudley perhaps to a lesser extent) I would just like to call you a cunt because you typed this face at the end =D you cunt

[dooley169]

@Redat23 im 41 an always luved these 2 when u was just a glint in da milkmans eye (maybe japseye)

[freqeist]

@Redat23 they were about 24 when they made this! not `older` generation

[valjester805]

@freqeist This is '78. Moore and Cook were born in '35 and '37 respectively. They were in their 40s.

[Professor6871]

@valjester805 Who gives fuck if they had been their 80s its fucking hilarious.

[pix042]

I love the way the silly cunt (slipping into the vernacular) has to have a wank when he could just shag the missus Dolly instead.

'I was 'avin what is basically my nine o'clock in the evening wank'!

[pix042]

'a toilet roll which I had greased out'

"what? andrex for sex, you silly fucking cunt"

(I invented that second bit)

[MsEm1972]

true legends, funny as f***

[MattKCW]

*Lol* !

[fishybishbash]

'run of the mill wank' lol

[xtopper235]

"Coming home with her hair matted with spunk is just part of the art business...." priceless....

[papersplease]

A cup of tea has solved every affliction in British history.

[somame69]

@papersplease Really.it's English penicillin.

[DGAF100]

HAHHAHAHAHA I laughed so hard i cried

[Fuschiaqueen]

That is totally hilarious. Som blaze and matter of fact. It's wonderful...

[angietihi]

got the old one out, not the new one

[jaherrick]

this is fucking hilarious...you cunt :D

[EmperorRyu1]

Ive tryed that masturbation method XD its wicked

[TRUMPER007]

Pete and Dud as Derek and Clive are legendary - remember first hearing these over 25 years ago and they have never been bettered - absolutely hilarious.

[skyclaw441]

This is the first time I've ever heard of these two, but they are absolutely friggin' hilarious. "There are 14 members of the Russian secret police around the room disguised as wallpaper with guns pointed at me, and they have ordered me to finger my private parts repeatedly for the next hour, or else they'll shoot me." XDDDDD

[TechArcturian]

very funny

[timdingleable]

only the biggest fuckin sex symbol this country's ever produced

[thelearner60]

Jerking about the room and being sick in the ash trays brill.

[woolfdogz]

ive got a migrane!

[L0K3]

plugged it into the train set

[ellie758]

'that she comes home with her hair matted with spunk is neither here nor there'

[Professor6871]

@ellie758 hahahahahahahah...hahahahah

[NormbrettaMod]

'I was about to cum on dad's face.'

[avolitekitesvara]

i find that if you put your nob in the socket not only do you get electricuted but you have the best ejaculation ever.....of course i would not advice anyone to do this without a net....

[avolitekitesvara]

peter " of course i cant have a wank in the spirit world cos i havent got a nob anymore..dudley "well you dont need one do you being omnipotent its orgasmic as it is"

[avolitekitesvara]

@avolitekitesvara

peter "what are you doing today dud?...dudley "well i thought id just float around a bit you know" in a cosmic sort of manner...just being...i might join a seance later"...what you going to do pete ? "i thought i might hang around the bbc for a while and do some poltergiest jokes...Dudley "great

[darkmarkrammstein]

a run of mill wednesday 9 o'clock wank

[tonlitt]

Dudley moore used to ride in on the district tube line in the early 70's, my mum witnessed the laughter he produced in the train carriage one morning...

[MrMikeadam]

bollocks cunt

[PatRibsey]

Peter cook is the funniest man who e'er drew breath

[eddylon1983]

stop quoting a fat poofs one. steven fry

[PatRibsey]

Alright then,

"Peter Cook... the funniest man who ever drew breath."

Stephen Fry (note Stephen, not Steven)

Happy now?

[eddylon1983]

lol even knew him so much as to how his name is spelt, sad case

[copout7]

too right coont!

[thenowuk]

lol

[webber06]

"Spilt my medicine" ! ! !

[IIovefootball1982]

Because I like a wank ! LOL

[Nigelwest930]

CLIVE: ..... jerking all round the room, pulling down all the furniture and fittings, and, er, grabbing hold of the carpet and being sick in the ashtrays, you know, really having a .....

DEREK: Well .....

CLIVE: ..... a good .....

DEREK: ..... a run of the mill .....

CLIVE: ..... run of the mill Wednesday nine o'clock wank.

[jamesjonesrocket]

'greased out a toilet roll'

[PeterHBne]

God love these two drunken mad smart fuckwits!!!!!!!! Loved them since them 1980 at age 14.

[drummiedan]

Whaaaa! Ha ha ha ha hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaargh!!!

[MeanMisterMustard2]

Fact she comes home with her hair matted with spunk is neither here nor there.

It's all part of the pin selling business.

:D

[scumbag1975]

@MeanMisterMustard2 had tears running down my face when I first heard that line.

[ClueSign]

It's a free fucking country. Have a four and half minute wank.

[thelearner60]

Should be in the constitution that.

[Professor6871]

@ClueSign That's right it should of been put into the Magna Carta that.

[vivascargill]

@Professor6871 it is in the magna carta!

[xxxChrist]

Genius.

[eraserhead2589]

clem the gent, they didn't call him that for nothing- best sex symbol this country ever produced...

[DarkAndTriumphant]

Ahahaha, Class.

[360gameking]

how do u get a moustache on your chin

[harryspoonpotter]

lmao

[mrbeans19]

RUN OF THE MILL

[mrbeans19]

@s0452804

it was a direct quote from the sketch not 'Run of the Mill' however you thought i meant it. Eg: Regular Run Of the Mill Wednesday afternoon W*** Etc. Wasn't being critical was laughing out loud

[s0452804]

Sorry for making you expain it!

[mrbeans19]

no making t'was pleased to. and no need to apologize

[ChannelTG]

'You got your old one out did you? I thought you were running in the new one.." hahaha!

i can't help letting out a laugh too when i hear 4:05 lol!

[youandyamum]

I can assure you of this.

This has inspired me to have a wank over a picture of Clement Attlee.

[furQ]

RIP Peter Cook.

[onny101976]

AND Dudley Moore

[punkhippiehiphop]

yes. RIP Peter Cook AND Dudley Moore. They were both great.

[GeezaGooderz]

haha thats the best excuse for a wank

[AmphetamineMDMA]

reasonable wank... :D:D fuckin hell these geezers are funny

[YellowTissueBox]

omg these guys r the best britan has to offer!

[naffychav]

oohhh I didn't know you had cancer of the knob!

[raszpodnik]

where's the rest of it?! the last bit's the funniest bit!!!!

[196578mikey]

I used to work in a radio station years ago and somebody brought this album in on vinyl strict instructions were placed on the front of the album but a clever bastard switched it with a the Beatles Abbey Rd and I got fired for playing come together while I was smoking a fag. Great to hear it again .

[rba63]

My dad used to commute to London in the late 60s and a guy gave him a reel of tape with "cuttings" of Derek & Clive on it. My Mum through it out as it was so rude!! What would that be worth now??? Nice one mum!