If you want to attract feminine the most effective method is to project masculine traits. If you want to attract masculine the most effective method is to project feminine traits. Even gay people know this.
So why do some lesbians project strong femininity? Easy. They are more attracted to masculine females.
So why do some gay men project strong masculinity? Easy. They are attracted to feminine males. If he wanted to attract a masculine male he'd project femininity.
To all my fellow GAYS(Feminine or NOT): We are HATED by most STRAIGHT people in this world since the world full of STRAIGHT. Why should we not get along and be comfortable and help each other which we all happen to be GAY!? Now, I even feel like I'm not comfortable with my Gay community because of this SHIT of being FEMININE and BUTCHES.SAD! Shouldn't we be UNITED? We all like cocks and fight for the RIGHTS since most of STRAIGHT against us! It's discrimination and unfair.PEACE GAY WORLD! PLZ!
I don't care if you're gay and masculine, straight and feminine or a dog with five legs. All I know is that John is FUCKING GORGEOUS. Thumbs up If you agree! :)
The differentiation between gender, sexuality, and orientation is very true and a good point I've been trying to make for a long time. Great examples of masculine gay men in the media: Neil Patrick Harris (not the characters he plays) and John Barrowman.
lol I love this one I am doing Sociology & we touch on that ... I found this topic so interesting I had wanted the class to extend in to another day....sadly time didnt allow for that....
Hey John, I wanted to give a thumbs up for your vid, and aI did give a good rate..I just have one problem, I really don't see you as being all that masculine. I mean, it's cool if you think you are, cause 99% of being is believing, but do you hunt? Play sports at all?. Your voice is right on the cusp. Not that ANYTHING is wrong with that. I guess I should shut up now....lol....Love you....
@hotrodbod1 Come off it. You're nit picking now. I could find 1000s of people on the street who seem just as masculine as John. So okay, he's not some bulked up body builder with a deep voice, but how on earth does he seem feminine? That's besides the point however.
@z120p Yeah, I knew I'd piss someone off with that, or at least get someone who wanted to let me know I was wrong, and yeah, maybe I was..but I know I could pick him off the homo tree in a minute. And I have extremely BAD GAYDAR. My friends have to TELL me when someone is cruising me. I guess it's all in what you behold
Masculinity and Femininity are both concepts of social standards. They are labels - thus stereotypical by nature. So, to say that a metrosexual str8 man, who likes to spend hours infront of the mirror is "masculine"... would IMO be incorrect. He may have other masculine traits like a swag when he walks, bulky body etc - but obsessing about ones looks, I wouldn't call a masculine trait.
This video does make a point, sexual orientation does not determine your level of masculinity or femininity. You can be gay and masculine, straight and masculine, straight and feminine, or you can be gay and feminine.
Masculinity and Femininity have specific qualities that define them.
I'm sorry, but, spending an hour gussying yourself up does constitute as non-masculine -- based on the definition that has existed for several centuries.
If this is you, then great, be the best non-masculine male you can be. But don't be so threatened by the definition that you feel the need to redefine it, altogether. That's planely reforming a term to fit your own standards and shows a drastic lack of self confidence.
Secondly, these "stereotypes" exist because of the observation of the majority actions of these subjects. I live in San Francisco and, yeah, Gay people usually act a certain way.
Does that mean they SHOULD act that way? No. But that's where the surprise comes from when you meet a gay man who listens to Cradle of Filth, rather than Lady Gaga.
If you don't fit the norm, good for you. But realize that, yes, there will be assumptions if you act like or have the habits of a certain category.
He got the definitions of 'gener' and 'sex' crossed. Sex refers to your biological "male" or "female" structure. Gender is the presentation of that gender.
People don't debate whether or not sex is a social construct, they debate whether gender is.
"If a mans spends blabla hours getting ready, does that means he's gay?" What kind of retarded question is that? "If I spend bla bla hours cooking food everyday does that mean I'm a chef?" Come one... whoever asked this question needs to stop worrying about other's opinions and just get on with things.
I'm always worried I'm TOO masculine. I'm straight and female, but I have major muscles, can fix almost any car problem single-handedly, and so on and so on... I've been mistaken for a guy a LOT!!! So I'm kimda worried that guys will find that a total turn off... ^_^"
@forgottenartform Exactly, which means that John made a mistake and mixed the 2 up because he said the exact opposite in his video. Not to mention, he only spoke of sex as a dichotomy(male & female) when i learned as a sociology major & gender studies minor that there r def more than 2 sexes-but that's a whole other topic! Anywho, i'm glad i wasn't the only one who noticed John's mistake in defining gender & sex.
"Less gay"?That doesn't make any sense,why would you want to act like someone that you're not
?
Unless you're a gay guy who acts straight then that's fine but you shouldn't have to hang out with straight guys just because you don't want to act a little bit flamboyantly.
ever since i started primary school including year 1, i was teased by oler boys cause all my friends were girls, i never told any1 back then but now im a bit more open about it, i've been depressed pretty much since i was 10, i have my ups and downs another reason y ppl cudnt believe i was gay, i was sometimes this deadbeat that did not fit the gay criteria at all, even now i turn into a lay about dead beat but not as often, i have to look at the positive side of life, thats it
to continue, i have never really been infatuated with how i look, i run a comb through my hair before i go out, i wear something that suits the occasion but thats about it, i always look neat and tidy but thats cause i'm a good groomer, i dont need to look fabulous, i just need to look good in my eyes thats all, one more comment and im done
when i came out, ppl who didnt kno me well weren't surprised cause they saw me from a distance and new me as feminine, but my close friends one in particularly were very surprised, they knew i was feminine but they never imagined me bein gay, this one in particular he wasnt a homophobe he just cudnt believe it and kept denying it and givin ,e questions to make sure i was i thorughly believed i was str8 well he was wrong btw im posting another comment theres more to come
I think that gay masculine men are totally hot , the idea that he can work under the hood of a car , play a sport , be into watching a good rodeo on tv , is a big turn-on. I myself don't understand why more gay men are not like that more often. Overly girly type men I find to be too much to take , too much drama you have to put up with on a regular basis. Those cutie little club boys are the worst offenders . whats wrong with a man who is strong , rugged , and just so happens to be gay, thats me
sex is actually the biological distinction of male and female and gender is the social construct of masculinity and femininity. otherwise, great/informative clip!
imagine all the men in the world were very feminine & girls were very masculine, Like a high school movie, the jocks are the girls (Imagine football players) & the guys (Imagine Cheerleaders) wait for girls to come out of the locker rooms Lmao
A room mate and I are perfect examples of this ha ha! ... my room mates had no idea i was gay, they all thought the other man whore who loves women and porn was gay, he's very metro sexual and cares about what he looks like, and i'm gay and i don't care what i look like, when i go out i like to look good but i don't spend hours getting ready i get out of the shower dress comb my hair and i'm done, he would take a shower do his hair pick out his clothes get dressed shave do a bunch of stuff!
*drools a bit at poster of shirtless guy* dammit you had to put that postr there when i was in a lustful mood... i hate being a guy sometimes because i am so stereotyped but soemtimes i just can't help it -.- liking guys does not make it any easier too...
So true! I've always equivocated sexuality to something like hair color: there are blondes, brunettes, and redheads but there are sooo many more shades in between. Also, it should be noted that, just as hair color is out of one's own control, so is one's sexuality. Maybe that's a bad metaphor, but it's the way I could ever rationalize my sentiments on this topic.
Hey there, I like your comments and totally agree with everything you are saying but have some technical feedback (i dont mean to get pedantic) but you have the definitions of 'sex' and 'gender' wrong. Someones 'sex' (generally) refers to their biology (XY/XX chromosomes = male or female) and gender is the socially-constructed concepts of masculinity and femininity; the appropriate qualities or characteristics that are expected to accompany each biological sex.
i agree with what you're saying but isn't there another category? people who let's say are male, feminine, straight and want to become female? what about those?
Please, excuse me while I shoot myself in the head due to the massive fail at 2:38, where you tried to explain the differences between sex and gender.
Sex = male/female
Gender = abstract concept of masculinity/femininity
So after having to deal with this for quite a while as I am male2female, I believe my own understand of the words to be above yours.
As for the whole gender continuum thing, it's a great idea, but there are some flaws in it.
Other than that which I can not explain, I like it.
A lot of gay men find "masculineness" to be "attractive," do you know if lesbians are the same way? Like they think "feminineness" is attractive? Say, a girl who loves to shop and make-up and stuff, would this be equivalent to a gay guy who say works out a lot, plays a lot of sports, etc.?
Yea a lot of lesbians are attracted to feminine women. There are gay guys who are attracted to feminine guys and lesbians who are attracted to masculine women but they are a smaller group.
You find Oprah to be butch? lol But you have the sex / gender dichotomy reversed: "sex" is one's biological "plumbing", "gender" is the cultural expression of masculinity or femininity--so a transgendered woman, for example, is biologically male, but has a female gender expression.
LOL, i know. silly me. You are not the first to bring this up. Oh, how i wish i could re edit a video that is already uploaded. Thats what happens when you take one take. LOL Mwah -John- xoxo
i dont know many gay people and i just came out recently, i have more of a masculine mind and personality and it's really a relief to see that not all gay men act like women. It's also reassuring because I sometimes feel like im expected to act that way ... it's a good boost to hear someone else say what you did. :)
I think there is a definite pressure within the gay community to sort of represent these stereotypes, more so with lesbians than gay men, but the pressure is on both sides. Representing the "proper"( i quoted it1 so there! :P) gender role creates an air of confusion for both gay and straight people. People want to "call em as they see em", but when they can't easily tell, they can be thrown off a bit. They expect the lisp, the designer tags and faux-hawk(just teasing man). Great Vid
Hi John . . i really enjoyed your description of the sexuallity spectrum. If you ever remember the teachers name. . could you tell us if he has written any books on this? coz i think it could be an interesting read. Keep up the blogs I really enjoy them. Cheers from your Australian subscriber. Christian.
I believe his name is Freud. I vagillay remember though. But if Frued does not bring up the spectrum thing, he brings up many good topics on sexuality. He is a writer from the 1800's and spoke on philosophy, psychology and the history of sexuality. Its hard to read him, but he is good.
Great movie man. Totally agree. I get that alot actually; I don't act feminine at all and I look rather gruff. And people freak out when they find out I'm homosexual!
HOORAH! Good question Haimster!! Anyway, Lovin the new BG!! Thanks for posting this. I've been told by a friend that my personality is a lesbian because I'm low maintenance... Why can't i just be a low maintenanced bisexual!? I enjoy being a guy... so i act like one.... but i still love the menfolk.... why does that bother people!?!? lol. =]
Good job articulating the differences there... The masc-fem spectrum is a very real thing, and personally, I think it's a very fluid thing as well. It can change with moods, with situations, with stages of life, etc.
I am going to say this though: I despise labels. I refuse to be boxed in by any particular tag, hence someone else's definition of who I am. I am ME - ealymc. I am who I am and feel no need to define it...
ealymc, I heart oprah! Labels sucks. but as i am saying labels suck I am being labeled into a category with other people who also hate labels. you really cant run away from this problem.
another great vid John--watch it your starting to set the bar high--just kidding
definite a great subject discussion, I agree about the whole stereotype for gays and lesbians
I think women have been able to break the mold better then men--yes there is the whole metro-sexual thing but I still think in society there still is a double standard--society seems to accepts the idea of female boxer easier than that of a male cheerleader
Baby, I completely concur with you! I kissed a girl and I liked it is a hit for a reason. I would be dammed if I kissed a boy and liked it written from a man would go anywhere.
wow, that's so fucking true i can't even stand it. at least the double standard has one exception: "michael" by franz fernidand is all about straight guys expirimenting with guys on the dancefloor.
I think another important thing to remember is that if you're gay and DO fit the stereotype, that's OK too. Too often the gay community becomes fixated on making sure ppl understand that we can be just as "ordinary" and "straight-ish" as heterosexuals are (like it's bad or negative to be identified by effeminate mannerisms). Masculine gays rock and so do the femmes, neither is better or more preferable than the other. Just like being light skinned is no better/worse than being dark skinned.
Littlebigger, Of course its ok! I didnt think I even had to go there! Dont even get m started on the hole "are you st8 act question" omg...thats another one that throws me off!
Nick, thanks for you comment....LOVE Sublime! I really am unsure about the BSRI, I wish I new, I even checked my class notes from like 4 months ago but couldnt find it. Ahh well.
Yes, people have to realize that everyone falls within a spectrum like you said and stereotypes are just preconceived ideas, not definitive facts. Call me atypical, but I do not fall within any of the stereotypes that gays are perceived to have. I act more straight than most of my straight guy friends. Even saying that I act straight is incorrect for I am just being who I am. Good job guru John :)
yea i totally agree like new people i meet aleays think just cause i'am gay i love to shop and in love with the mall and that i take forever to get ready, i have shared rooms wih str8 guys that have more beauty products than any girl or guy or anyone that i have ever scene so its just goes to show you that just cause your gay or str8 doesnt mean you half to be feminine or masuculin.
thanks so much for doing what you do. i dont need the help i think! but i appreciate watching someone so different and interesting than most on here. GOD BLESS AND KEEP IT UP! - i agree with u so far!
True all the way, there really isn't much correllation between sex, sexuality and gender, its all up in the air and really thats not a bad thing. Another great vid :)
who cares about rigid and outdated ideas of masculine and feminine. of rigid gender roles and identity.i hear enough of that nonsense when i deal with bible-thumpers
and no matter how butch or "masculine " you are or claim to be,there will be some bible-thumper who couldn't care less between you or a chris crocker you'll still be thought of as just some fudge packer!
I love obama too. Yes, you will come across them from time to time, but actually one of my best friends is a mormon. So, you never know who can happen.
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lol... hou 'bout men who do womens work like beauty and fashion industries, caregivers, etc.? they're ALL gay. lets face it, straight males dont do ladies work. aiite?
Ionno. There are plenty of straight male I Know that do work in that industry. Eric Forrester is one and he is straight. Where a person work has nothing to do with sexual orientation, sex, nor gender.
First off, this is all true. I'm gay myself and quite masculine at most times, while a tad effeminate in other times. Second, I have a good friend who's straight and masculine, but still likes to look good. He once planned a party in which *he* was actually still showering and getting ready while we arrived, hehe.
And last, the lighting *is* better. Much better. And the background is a lot better. ^.^
Again, like your videos and topics. Keep going! :-)
I am a bit effeminate, which is an insecurity I have about myself. I wish I could change it, but it's just how I am naturally. It's strange because I actually find it a turn off when men are very effeminate, even though I myself am effeminate. Ha ha.
And then there are the androgynous people, like B. Scott, if you know him or her. B. Scott is also on youtube. But that's probably a whole other topic. I don't even know if you can consider B. Scott a transgender.
it's one thing if you exaggerate or fake your feminine side. but if it's REALLY what you are why rid yourself of it, especially if every gay guy wants too. they don't realize one thing to rev. billy bob of ickywicky arkansas, "don't matter if you got more muscles than scwartzenegger, or if you're a screaming queen, you're a faggot!"
Wow. Those are very colorful words. I never said I had anything against effeminate people. It's just personal preference. I don't find effeminate people attractive.
JFESTAE - Transgendered ppl feel physically wrong in the bodies they were born in, they feel it doesn't match who they are inside. BScott isn't trans, he loves being a gay man and just likes to embrace adrongony. I LOVE that about him.
I think it's cool that even despite your insecurity over being femmy, you still own it. Confidence takes time and until you're there, be proud of who you are and how you wear it.
And yes, thank you for the comment on my channel/video.
Great topic, great answer. The strange thing is that I just had an expo paper due today that focused on this very subject. And you're explanation of gender/sex/orientation didn't clear anything up, because it's such a hard topic to understand. In fact, you sounded exactly like my professor, who is a professional mind boggler. Ever thought of being a teacher? haha, j/k.
I did think about being a professor, but thats like way latter in life! you welcome for the comment on the video, i like your vids. I didnt clear anything up for you? thats sucks, sorrry i couldnt. It would have been helpful for your paper. ahh well. Thanks for the comment. -John
Well I should have said that your explanation was very good. (But I ran out of room) But since my paper was more in a historical context as far as cultural expectation among men/women, it was a lot harder concept to grasp... But still, I enjoyed it very much! Kudos to you!
I Completely Agree. When I Came Out To My Friends They Were Like "NO WAY! But You're Not Feminine At All" lol Its Like The Biggest Gay Stereotype. By The Way. You're Like My Favorite Youtuber. =D Your Videos Are Interesting. More People Should Find Your Channel. <3
I don't know if John is talking about Kinsey- I thought so too when he said "scale," but he's talking about a masculinity/femininity continuum. While Kinsey did develop a continuum, it was concerning homosexual behavior, not gender performance. I'm not sure what research he's citing, but it sure sounds interesting :)
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If you want to attract feminine the most effective method is to project masculine traits. If you want to attract masculine the most effective method is to project feminine traits. Even gay people know this.
So why do some lesbians project strong femininity? Easy. They are more attracted to masculine females.
So why do some gay men project strong masculinity? Easy. They are attracted to feminine males. If he wanted to attract a masculine male he'd project femininity.
To each his own.
usedabusedamused 1 week ago
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usedabusedamused 1 week ago
I think the Dr you are talking about is Kinsey. He is an....interesting person to say the least
markfrankland200 2 months ago in playlist More videos from Couver87
@markfrankland200 good point I thought he was the guy who came up with the continuous scale of sexuality 1-6.
foxxxdude 1 month ago
u seem masculine not one bit.... i had slight doubts when i began watching the video then it all added up @ 3:30, ur very feminine!!!
rbhavan 2 months ago
You're awesome :)
joshuadean1016 2 months ago
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incredible2k 3 months ago
:D your so cute! .. eh anyway i wanted to mention there are also transgender people who can be gay or straight.
veanandjean1 3 months ago
just gonna correct you that sex; is the male x female and gender is maculine femenine.
to make it pretty simple sex decribe body, and things biologically, where gender more despribes, identety, way of livings and culture.
RaixAsato 4 months ago
Marry me <3
princeryan85 6 months ago
To all my fellow GAYS(Feminine or NOT): We are HATED by most STRAIGHT people in this world since the world full of STRAIGHT. Why should we not get along and be comfortable and help each other which we all happen to be GAY!? Now, I even feel like I'm not comfortable with my Gay community because of this SHIT of being FEMININE and BUTCHES.SAD! Shouldn't we be UNITED? We all like cocks and fight for the RIGHTS since most of STRAIGHT against us! It's discrimination and unfair.PEACE GAY WORLD! PLZ!
preciousprettypaula 8 months ago
Great way describe the "gay spectrum"
Everyone should look at the Kinsey Scale, cause no one follows black and white roles.
10zimmer 9 months ago
I don't care if you're gay and masculine, straight and feminine or a dog with five legs. All I know is that John is FUCKING GORGEOUS. Thumbs up If you agree! :)
ale5677 9 months ago
What is it with these fucking labes and mundane views of masulinity and femininity...
Its just bothers me because I can't find a single decent vid that acturately portrays it on a more spirtual level...
RadicalDreamer2012 9 months ago
The differentiation between gender, sexuality, and orientation is very true and a good point I've been trying to make for a long time. Great examples of masculine gay men in the media: Neil Patrick Harris (not the characters he plays) and John Barrowman.
notothenioid 9 months ago
lol I love this one I am doing Sociology & we touch on that ... I found this topic so interesting I had wanted the class to extend in to another day....sadly time didnt allow for that....
This is a wonderful video
Bellalee40 10 months ago
Excellent video. I'm subscribing now.
NiymbleFingers 11 months ago
LOL I love oprah too. hilarious reference.
lolsahweet 11 months ago
This is good one
jason19852349 1 year ago
I like you say above that a lot
jason19852349 1 year ago
omg how did i forget to subscribe uuuuu FML :(( u would have visit i page long ago :(
marvelheaven 1 year ago
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its a kinsey scale lol
jerhaire 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
its a kinsey scale lol
jerhaire 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
its a kinsey scale lol
jerhaire 1 year ago
its a kinsey scale lol
jerhaire 1 year ago
hehe thats mah b-day :33333 btw love ur hair wish i had it Lol!
GayBoyzSwagga 1 year ago
OMG I love your hair and your face!!!
Kduncan3077 1 year ago
I'm fem as hell but stright! I wear a ton of make up and have long big hair!
SleazeThrobb12345 1 year ago
lol i think im a bit femine takes me a little time but i just do my skin care and do my hair up
Dragon27488 1 year ago
your masculine? ...no
StrawberryBigMac 1 year ago
Is it MArco Dapper in one of your posters ? I love him
xxMrRobotboy292xx 1 year ago
Hey John, I wanted to give a thumbs up for your vid, and aI did give a good rate..I just have one problem, I really don't see you as being all that masculine. I mean, it's cool if you think you are, cause 99% of being is believing, but do you hunt? Play sports at all?. Your voice is right on the cusp. Not that ANYTHING is wrong with that. I guess I should shut up now....lol....Love you....
hotrodbod1 1 year ago
@hotrodbod1 Come off it. You're nit picking now. I could find 1000s of people on the street who seem just as masculine as John. So okay, he's not some bulked up body builder with a deep voice, but how on earth does he seem feminine? That's besides the point however.
z120p 1 year ago
@z120p Yeah, I knew I'd piss someone off with that, or at least get someone who wanted to let me know I was wrong, and yeah, maybe I was..but I know I could pick him off the homo tree in a minute. And I have extremely BAD GAYDAR. My friends have to TELL me when someone is cruising me. I guess it's all in what you behold
hotrodbod1 1 year ago
Thank you for not being overly feminine it's refreshing
xhen12 1 year ago
Masculinity and Femininity are both concepts of social standards. They are labels - thus stereotypical by nature. So, to say that a metrosexual str8 man, who likes to spend hours infront of the mirror is "masculine"... would IMO be incorrect. He may have other masculine traits like a swag when he walks, bulky body etc - but obsessing about ones looks, I wouldn't call a masculine trait.
thebbeenn 1 year ago
Kinsey scale?
TheDinosaur99 1 year ago
wow
first thing good answer. ^-^
second thing u remind me of James McAvoy VERY Hot !! hehe :P
shoshowat 1 year ago
I think the scale you refer to is the "Kinsey" scale.
petitamipremier 1 year ago
I think you meant Hofstedes, the doctor who made the theory.
fahad5656 1 year ago
but isn't there a guy that plays the man and another than plays the woman in gay (or lesbian) relationships?
msquestionmark 1 year ago
this is totaly stupid but this guy is hot
ariannahiggins 2 years ago
This video does make a point, sexual orientation does not determine your level of masculinity or femininity. You can be gay and masculine, straight and masculine, straight and feminine, or you can be gay and feminine.
philmontphan 2 years ago 16
Masculinity and Femininity are stupid
just be both
FIGHTFANNERD3 2 years ago 22
indeed
FIGHTFANNERD5 1 year ago
@FIGHTFANNERD3 well said
BergamoFirenzeSGV 10 months ago
@FIGHTFANNERD3 i believe we are both, we're not 100% masculine or 100% feminine. i see some masculinity and feminity in me.
timtheloner 5 months ago
that was kinseys (i think thats spelled right) scale
only a very small percent of the population is fully gay or straight... the rest are somewhere in between.
I study psychology in spare time and thats how i came across it
shombiel 2 years ago
Results of Kinsey's reseach is not a scientific fact. There is no proof that human sexuality is distributed in accordance to Gaussian's curve.
asmodeus585 2 years ago
Masculinity and Femininity have specific qualities that define them.
I'm sorry, but, spending an hour gussying yourself up does constitute as non-masculine -- based on the definition that has existed for several centuries.
If this is you, then great, be the best non-masculine male you can be. But don't be so threatened by the definition that you feel the need to redefine it, altogether. That's planely reforming a term to fit your own standards and shows a drastic lack of self confidence.
Shaman145 2 years ago
Secondly, these "stereotypes" exist because of the observation of the majority actions of these subjects. I live in San Francisco and, yeah, Gay people usually act a certain way.
Does that mean they SHOULD act that way? No. But that's where the surprise comes from when you meet a gay man who listens to Cradle of Filth, rather than Lady Gaga.
If you don't fit the norm, good for you. But realize that, yes, there will be assumptions if you act like or have the habits of a certain category.
Shaman145 2 years ago
He got the definitions of 'gener' and 'sex' crossed. Sex refers to your biological "male" or "female" structure. Gender is the presentation of that gender.
People don't debate whether or not sex is a social construct, they debate whether gender is.
Shaman145 2 years ago
"If a mans spends blabla hours getting ready, does that means he's gay?" What kind of retarded question is that? "If I spend bla bla hours cooking food everyday does that mean I'm a chef?" Come one... whoever asked this question needs to stop worrying about other's opinions and just get on with things.
kimcheolho 2 years ago
His voice sounds as music...
Marat9043 2 years ago
I'm always worried I'm TOO masculine. I'm straight and female, but I have major muscles, can fix almost any car problem single-handedly, and so on and so on... I've been mistaken for a guy a LOT!!! So I'm kimda worried that guys will find that a total turn off... ^_^"
Fang662768 2 years ago
this video is really good as a discussion point for sociology classes doing gender and identity :)
forgottenartform 2 years ago
I thought gender was feminine/masculine and sex was male/female? o.0
beautifuldaemon 2 years ago
yea gender is feminine/masculine - sex is the biological definition so male or female :) it an easy mistake to make
forgottenartform 2 years ago
@forgottenartform Exactly, which means that John made a mistake and mixed the 2 up because he said the exact opposite in his video. Not to mention, he only spoke of sex as a dichotomy(male & female) when i learned as a sociology major & gender studies minor that there r def more than 2 sexes-but that's a whole other topic! Anywho, i'm glad i wasn't the only one who noticed John's mistake in defining gender & sex.
songstres07 2 years ago
you are so handsome
72ve17 2 years ago
i'm a gay man who only hangs with straight dudes cause i think it makes me less gay.
zaynzaynzayn 2 years ago
"Less gay"?That doesn't make any sense,why would you want to act like someone that you're not
?
Unless you're a gay guy who acts straight then that's fine but you shouldn't have to hang out with straight guys just because you don't want to act a little bit flamboyantly.
lamike1982 2 years ago
ever since i started primary school including year 1, i was teased by oler boys cause all my friends were girls, i never told any1 back then but now im a bit more open about it, i've been depressed pretty much since i was 10, i have my ups and downs another reason y ppl cudnt believe i was gay, i was sometimes this deadbeat that did not fit the gay criteria at all, even now i turn into a lay about dead beat but not as often, i have to look at the positive side of life, thats it
xoxo ajjensen1993
ajjensen1993 2 years ago
to continue, i have never really been infatuated with how i look, i run a comb through my hair before i go out, i wear something that suits the occasion but thats about it, i always look neat and tidy but thats cause i'm a good groomer, i dont need to look fabulous, i just need to look good in my eyes thats all, one more comment and im done
ajjensen1993 2 years ago
when i came out, ppl who didnt kno me well weren't surprised cause they saw me from a distance and new me as feminine, but my close friends one in particularly were very surprised, they knew i was feminine but they never imagined me bein gay, this one in particular he wasnt a homophobe he just cudnt believe it and kept denying it and givin ,e questions to make sure i was i thorughly believed i was str8 well he was wrong btw im posting another comment theres more to come
ajjensen1993 2 years ago
I think that gay masculine men are totally hot , the idea that he can work under the hood of a car , play a sport , be into watching a good rodeo on tv , is a big turn-on. I myself don't understand why more gay men are not like that more often. Overly girly type men I find to be too much to take , too much drama you have to put up with on a regular basis. Those cutie little club boys are the worst offenders . whats wrong with a man who is strong , rugged , and just so happens to be gay, thats me
1313elemental 2 years ago 2
@1313elemental if I wanted a woman I would go for a real one!
kfag101 2 years ago 3
Comment removed
keisha87 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
You referred to your self as male, masculine, gay.
But the truth is, you don't seem to be masculine at all, I could recognized your gayness vrom a mile across.
toxicsnake 2 years ago
You totally missed the point of the video dude
bankypunk 2 years ago
I didn't, it's just that I had to mention it, since he already talked about it in the video.
toxicsnake 2 years ago
great explanation of the separation between gender and sex. you really broke it down for those who have trouble understanding the difference.
cmlove00 2 years ago
sex is actually the biological distinction of male and female and gender is the social construct of masculinity and femininity. otherwise, great/informative clip!
kc139799 2 years ago
thx this really help my reasearch
pansheng 2 years ago
i hear ya on this one.
btw, awesome posters!!
:]
jpaddie04 2 years ago
I think the name of the guy you are looking for is Alfred Kinsey. He did a TON of stuff on human sexuality.
stophthecomputerwiz 2 years ago
imagine all the men in the world were very feminine & girls were very masculine, Like a high school movie, the jocks are the girls (Imagine football players) & the guys (Imagine Cheerleaders) wait for girls to come out of the locker rooms Lmao
AndyDrewandGarcia 2 years ago
haha :D
but if it had always been like that, nobody would think it's weird
TotallyAnnika 2 years ago
tru that, then all the guys can complain that girls are unreliable & horny Lmfao this should be a movie!!
AndyDrewandGarcia 2 years ago
hes kinda hot,
but pause at 1:10
LOL :]
x
vintagechanel 2 years ago
um I think you mixed up sex with gender:
sex is your biological differentiation between male or female
gender is your self identification as a man or woman
DmitriyAM 2 years ago
David Deida explains masculinity and femininity very well in his book "the way of the superior man"
WetWorkHK 2 years ago
Great video. Explained perfectly.
Unisexual 2 years ago
Fuck ya Sublime!
Vroomvroombirdie 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
you are faggot yourself
ariesas 2 years ago
A room mate and I are perfect examples of this ha ha! ... my room mates had no idea i was gay, they all thought the other man whore who loves women and porn was gay, he's very metro sexual and cares about what he looks like, and i'm gay and i don't care what i look like, when i go out i like to look good but i don't spend hours getting ready i get out of the shower dress comb my hair and i'm done, he would take a shower do his hair pick out his clothes get dressed shave do a bunch of stuff!
brandonleerich2008 2 years ago
*drools a bit at poster of shirtless guy* dammit you had to put that postr there when i was in a lustful mood... i hate being a guy sometimes because i am so stereotyped but soemtimes i just can't help it -.- liking guys does not make it any easier too...
Riranor 2 years ago
So true! I've always equivocated sexuality to something like hair color: there are blondes, brunettes, and redheads but there are sooo many more shades in between. Also, it should be noted that, just as hair color is out of one's own control, so is one's sexuality. Maybe that's a bad metaphor, but it's the way I could ever rationalize my sentiments on this topic.
gmedespair 2 years ago
oops sorry, i just saw that you have already been given this feedback a few times! forget my last post. keep spreading the positive messages!
ssNATss 2 years ago
Hey there, I like your comments and totally agree with everything you are saying but have some technical feedback (i dont mean to get pedantic) but you have the definitions of 'sex' and 'gender' wrong. Someones 'sex' (generally) refers to their biology (XY/XX chromosomes = male or female) and gender is the socially-constructed concepts of masculinity and femininity; the appropriate qualities or characteristics that are expected to accompany each biological sex.
ssNATss 2 years ago
i agree with what you're saying but isn't there another category? people who let's say are male, feminine, straight and want to become female? what about those?
fractalcrazy 2 years ago
lol lesbian hearted men? thats weird, but I if that is what the person is, then so be it.
sadguyfoundout1 2 years ago
not lesbian, love men
fractalcrazy 2 years ago
S'called transvestite. :)
TalynCo 2 years ago
Wow this is awesome! See I never looked at it this way before. Great eye opener! XD
squirellsgopeep 2 years ago 2
Please, excuse me while I shoot myself in the head due to the massive fail at 2:38, where you tried to explain the differences between sex and gender.
Sex = male/female
Gender = abstract concept of masculinity/femininity
So after having to deal with this for quite a while as I am male2female, I believe my own understand of the words to be above yours.
As for the whole gender continuum thing, it's a great idea, but there are some flaws in it.
Other than that which I can not explain, I like it.
Lievearn 2 years ago
A lot of gay men find "masculineness" to be "attractive," do you know if lesbians are the same way? Like they think "feminineness" is attractive? Say, a girl who loves to shop and make-up and stuff, would this be equivalent to a gay guy who say works out a lot, plays a lot of sports, etc.?
you are beautiful btw haha
flyguy380 2 years ago
Yea a lot of lesbians are attracted to feminine women. There are gay guys who are attracted to feminine guys and lesbians who are attracted to masculine women but they are a smaller group.
regemo 2 years ago
i love your video <3
otakulovergirl 2 years ago
The point is: Be what you want to be.
tubetdsman 2 years ago
Dr. kinsey
shaptastic25 2 years ago
You find Oprah to be butch? lol But you have the sex / gender dichotomy reversed: "sex" is one's biological "plumbing", "gender" is the cultural expression of masculinity or femininity--so a transgendered woman, for example, is biologically male, but has a female gender expression.
sensengine 2 years ago
LOL, i know. silly me. You are not the first to bring this up. Oh, how i wish i could re edit a video that is already uploaded. Thats what happens when you take one take. LOL Mwah -John- xoxo
Couver87 2 years ago 3
im kind of scared that a gay man might not like me if im messy...
Pr4dat0r 2 years ago
here's a question: "How do you deal with someone who is in the closet and you wanna help them out? how do you help them?"
Timeforthaunted 2 years ago
Or you could be Oprah... ahahhaha.
Seahoe206 2 years ago
this is a really good ind interesting topic, well done for raising it and addressing it
StupidMonkeyTv 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
gay = men who live as women.
lesbian = women who live as men.
collegeguy2009 2 years ago
straight gay people.
uanimale 2 years ago
I love this video. It's amazing how many people in the world can't grasp this concept.
Sandal16 2 years ago 2
mmm posters
cloudandchorus 2 years ago
Holy Crap you are actually talking about the Kinsey Scale, no one ever talks about this spectrum.
Mackeen1212 2 years ago
i dont know many gay people and i just came out recently, i have more of a masculine mind and personality and it's really a relief to see that not all gay men act like women. It's also reassuring because I sometimes feel like im expected to act that way ... it's a good boost to hear someone else say what you did. :)
linuxaddict11111 2 years ago
Dr. Kinsey on a scale of 0-6. 0 being exclusively hetero and 6 exclusively homo.
LetsTalkSexTalk 2 years ago 2
your chair bounces. hahah:P
dreamsxsilentx 2 years ago
Sublime! <3
xXkillmedeadXx 3 years ago
LOL i have a roomate like that right now
tabbiehopla 3 years ago
Nice topic, well handled.
:D <3
Heyaitsjohn 3 years ago
I think there is a definite pressure within the gay community to sort of represent these stereotypes, more so with lesbians than gay men, but the pressure is on both sides. Representing the "proper"( i quoted it1 so there! :P) gender role creates an air of confusion for both gay and straight people. People want to "call em as they see em", but when they can't easily tell, they can be thrown off a bit. They expect the lisp, the designer tags and faux-hawk(just teasing man). Great Vid
RomanticShade 3 years ago
LOL, I like my fo! haha, thanks for the comment, im loving your 2 cents!
Couver87 3 years ago
^ ^ I like it too lol, im just being mean >:P
RomanticShade 3 years ago
Hi John . . i really enjoyed your description of the sexuallity spectrum. If you ever remember the teachers name. . could you tell us if he has written any books on this? coz i think it could be an interesting read. Keep up the blogs I really enjoy them. Cheers from your Australian subscriber. Christian.
cniddrie 3 years ago
I believe his name is Freud. I vagillay remember though. But if Frued does not bring up the spectrum thing, he brings up many good topics on sexuality. He is a writer from the 1800's and spoke on philosophy, psychology and the history of sexuality. Its hard to read him, but he is good.
Couver87 3 years ago
Thanks John. I will look it up. Cheers from Australia.
cniddrie 3 years ago
Great movie man. Totally agree. I get that alot actually; I don't act feminine at all and I look rather gruff. And people freak out when they find out I'm homosexual!
meroptixbih 3 years ago
HOORAH! Good question Haimster!! Anyway, Lovin the new BG!! Thanks for posting this. I've been told by a friend that my personality is a lesbian because I'm low maintenance... Why can't i just be a low maintenanced bisexual!? I enjoy being a guy... so i act like one.... but i still love the menfolk.... why does that bother people!?!? lol. =]
somesortofrock 3 years ago
super great points... not everyone falls within normal parameters. but i'm still curious about my q,,,, lol
SuprSpaztic 3 years ago
LOL, I am getting their! I have lots in my message box. I am just enjoying this weekend. Went out last night and had a blast!
Couver87 3 years ago
KINSEY SCALE!!!!
You totally nailed this one on the head. CONGRATS!!!
computerscience87 3 years ago
You mentioned my Oprah... totally made my day! :)
Good job articulating the differences there... The masc-fem spectrum is a very real thing, and personally, I think it's a very fluid thing as well. It can change with moods, with situations, with stages of life, etc.
I am going to say this though: I despise labels. I refuse to be boxed in by any particular tag, hence someone else's definition of who I am. I am ME - ealymc. I am who I am and feel no need to define it...
ealymc 3 years ago
ealymc, I heart oprah! Labels sucks. but as i am saying labels suck I am being labeled into a category with other people who also hate labels. you really cant run away from this problem.
Couver87 3 years ago
Thanks JK! Thats why I post. To be truthful and to get some of my subs to post some video responses and get involved.
Couver87 3 years ago
Spectrum = Klein Grid and Kinsey Scale =).
altimacloud81 3 years ago
another great vid John--watch it your starting to set the bar high--just kidding
definite a great subject discussion, I agree about the whole stereotype for gays and lesbians
I think women have been able to break the mold better then men--yes there is the whole metro-sexual thing but I still think in society there still is a double standard--society seems to accepts the idea of female boxer easier than that of a male cheerleader
babylonsquared 3 years ago
Baby, I completely concur with you! I kissed a girl and I liked it is a hit for a reason. I would be dammed if I kissed a boy and liked it written from a man would go anywhere.
Couver87 3 years ago
wow, that's so fucking true i can't even stand it. at least the double standard has one exception: "michael" by franz fernidand is all about straight guys expirimenting with guys on the dancefloor.
littleBIGGERchris 3 years ago
I think another important thing to remember is that if you're gay and DO fit the stereotype, that's OK too. Too often the gay community becomes fixated on making sure ppl understand that we can be just as "ordinary" and "straight-ish" as heterosexuals are (like it's bad or negative to be identified by effeminate mannerisms). Masculine gays rock and so do the femmes, neither is better or more preferable than the other. Just like being light skinned is no better/worse than being dark skinned.
littleBIGGERchris 3 years ago
Littlebigger, Of course its ok! I didnt think I even had to go there! Dont even get m started on the hole "are you st8 act question" omg...thats another one that throws me off!
Couver87 3 years ago
you and me both, the phrase "i'm str8-acting" makes me cringe. fuck you and your self-hatred, lance bass.
FANTASTIC video, j. you are dead-on with these observations. it's inspiring.
littleBIGGERchris 3 years ago
Sublime in the background...you are the best! The thing about stereotypes is that we often perpetuate them ourselves...
Btw, are you talking about the Bem Sex Role Inventory? (BSRI)
Keep up the great work!
nickbrown2k2 3 years ago
Nick, thanks for you comment....LOVE Sublime! I really am unsure about the BSRI, I wish I new, I even checked my class notes from like 4 months ago but couldnt find it. Ahh well.
Couver87 3 years ago
Yes, people have to realize that everyone falls within a spectrum like you said and stereotypes are just preconceived ideas, not definitive facts. Call me atypical, but I do not fall within any of the stereotypes that gays are perceived to have. I act more straight than most of my straight guy friends. Even saying that I act straight is incorrect for I am just being who I am. Good job guru John :)
alexlife21 3 years ago
another great video. i subscribe to a lot and you're by far my fav. :)
GavinPG 3 years ago
You are absolutely right. Sexual orientation is something very much different from sexual identity.
AnimaDraconis 3 years ago
yea i totally agree like new people i meet aleays think just cause i'am gay i love to shop and in love with the mall and that i take forever to get ready, i have shared rooms wih str8 guys that have more beauty products than any girl or guy or anyone that i have ever scene so its just goes to show you that just cause your gay or str8 doesnt mean you half to be feminine or masuculin.
sexsomnia20 3 years ago 3
thanks so much for doing what you do. i dont need the help i think! but i appreciate watching someone so different and interesting than most on here. GOD BLESS AND KEEP IT UP! - i agree with u so far!
MUAH
JUAN CUBA
JuanCubaNation 3 years ago
True all the way, there really isn't much correllation between sex, sexuality and gender, its all up in the air and really thats not a bad thing. Another great vid :)
spectral87 3 years ago 2
You are an amazing men!
maxgiosus82 3 years ago
who cares about rigid and outdated ideas of masculine and feminine. of rigid gender roles and identity.i hear enough of that nonsense when i deal with bible-thumpers
eugeneonegin09 3 years ago
I care about it. Its a good thing to qualify the difference for people out there who only know the stereotypes of gay and lesbian people. Jeesh
Couver87 3 years ago
and no matter how butch or "masculine " you are or claim to be,there will be some bible-thumper who couldn't care less between you or a chris crocker you'll still be thought of as just some fudge packer!
obamadidit2008 3 years ago
I love obama too. Yes, you will come across them from time to time, but actually one of my best friends is a mormon. So, you never know who can happen.
Couver87 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
lol... hou 'bout men who do womens work like beauty and fashion industries, caregivers, etc.? they're ALL gay. lets face it, straight males dont do ladies work. aiite?
collegeguy2009 3 years ago
Ionno. There are plenty of straight male I Know that do work in that industry. Eric Forrester is one and he is straight. Where a person work has nothing to do with sexual orientation, sex, nor gender.
williambrown007 2 years ago
First off, this is all true. I'm gay myself and quite masculine at most times, while a tad effeminate in other times. Second, I have a good friend who's straight and masculine, but still likes to look good. He once planned a party in which *he* was actually still showering and getting ready while we arrived, hehe.
And last, the lighting *is* better. Much better. And the background is a lot better. ^.^
Again, like your videos and topics. Keep going! :-)
SmileyMan45 3 years ago
I am a bit effeminate, which is an insecurity I have about myself. I wish I could change it, but it's just how I am naturally. It's strange because I actually find it a turn off when men are very effeminate, even though I myself am effeminate. Ha ha.
And then there are the androgynous people, like B. Scott, if you know him or her. B. Scott is also on youtube. But that's probably a whole other topic. I don't even know if you can consider B. Scott a transgender.
Jfestae 3 years ago 3
it's one thing if you exaggerate or fake your feminine side. but if it's REALLY what you are why rid yourself of it, especially if every gay guy wants too. they don't realize one thing to rev. billy bob of ickywicky arkansas, "don't matter if you got more muscles than scwartzenegger, or if you're a screaming queen, you're a faggot!"
eugeneonegin09 3 years ago
Wow. Those are very colorful words. I never said I had anything against effeminate people. It's just personal preference. I don't find effeminate people attractive.
Jfestae 3 years ago
Do not be insecure about this. This is who you are learn to love that about you.
Couver87 3 years ago
Thanks. John.
Jfestae 3 years ago
JFESTAE - Transgendered ppl feel physically wrong in the bodies they were born in, they feel it doesn't match who they are inside. BScott isn't trans, he loves being a gay man and just likes to embrace adrongony. I LOVE that about him.
I think it's cool that even despite your insecurity over being femmy, you still own it. Confidence takes time and until you're there, be proud of who you are and how you wear it.
littleBIGGERchris 3 years ago
Thanks
Jfestae 3 years ago
Haha. I love the Oprah example! Made me laugh.
And yes, thank you for the comment on my channel/video.
Great topic, great answer. The strange thing is that I just had an expo paper due today that focused on this very subject. And you're explanation of gender/sex/orientation didn't clear anything up, because it's such a hard topic to understand. In fact, you sounded exactly like my professor, who is a professional mind boggler. Ever thought of being a teacher? haha, j/k.
Renfiles90 3 years ago
I did think about being a professor, but thats like way latter in life! you welcome for the comment on the video, i like your vids. I didnt clear anything up for you? thats sucks, sorrry i couldnt. It would have been helpful for your paper. ahh well. Thanks for the comment. -John
Couver87 3 years ago
Well I should have said that your explanation was very good. (But I ran out of room) But since my paper was more in a historical context as far as cultural expectation among men/women, it was a lot harder concept to grasp... But still, I enjoyed it very much! Kudos to you!
Renfiles90 3 years ago 2
I Completely Agree. When I Came Out To My Friends They Were Like "NO WAY! But You're Not Feminine At All" lol Its Like The Biggest Gay Stereotype. By The Way. You're Like My Favorite Youtuber. =D Your Videos Are Interesting. More People Should Find Your Channel. <3
Marvin20045 3 years ago
Wow, glad to hear I am a fav marvin, thanks. And trust me I get that all the time too, pretty much everytime i come out...
Couver87 3 years ago
Well done.
thorr18BEM 3 years ago
It was Dr. Alfred Kinsey...he was a professor at my school!!
harrykingwjz 3 years ago
Harry, that is really neat that he was a prof at your school! what a small work it is, eh?>
Couver87 3 years ago
I don't know if John is talking about Kinsey- I thought so too when he said "scale," but he's talking about a masculinity/femininity continuum. While Kinsey did develop a continuum, it was concerning homosexual behavior, not gender performance. I'm not sure what research he's citing, but it sure sounds interesting :)
That is sooo cool that you att